Immortal Suffering: Undying Loyalty

by dusk flame

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Rainbow Dash
Length: 7773

Rainbow Dash made a promise with an outcome not even Celestia could have predicted.

Rainbow Dash made a promise that she'll protect everypony. Bound by the element of loyalty the effect of those words caused more to change in her then just a mindset. Now stuck in and endless cycle of death and rebirth she shares her story.
First IS story
Third IS story
This one has the gore tag because I didn't want to skimp on any details. (It's honestly not that bad though. Think early Mortal Kombat games.)

Published 2013-04-17 18:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-17 18:40:03 UTC

Undying Loyalty

I wasn't there the day the world ended. I don't know how long ago it ended and I don't know why it ended but I've been around for a long time. Do you still want to know my story?

Yes.

Well I guess I'll start with the basics then. My name is Rainbow Dash; fastest flyer in all of Equestria, element of loyalty and long standing captain of the Wonderbolts... At least I used to be back when Equestria was still there. I guess we will never know what happened to cause all this... well, you know better then me what's going on right now. I wish I knew how long I've been away from the world but I guess it's kind of impossible to find out at this point.

When did it all start?

It all started after my friends and I sealed a being called Discord. I couldn't get over what I almost did before that though. I... I almost abandoned my friends for nothing so I made a pact with myself when I got home. I swore that I would always protect everypony and from that moment on I did everything I could to live up to that standard. Life went on after that and every time something came up, every time somepony was in trouble, I did what I could to make things better. Yea, I let the stardom go to my head when I got praised, but I never forgot my duty. I always looked out for everypony and I always protected everypony.

When these things called changelings attacked I was right there on the front lines with my friends. While it wasn't us who eventually beat the changelings I still did my part. And later when this place called the Crystal Kingdom showed up and got attacked I did my part there too even though it was my friends Twilight Sparkle, the element of magic and Spike, the baby dragon, who ended up saving the day. I felt happy that we were always able to beat the bad guys and save everypony but at the same time I was beginning to feel uneasy. All these things were happening and each time we came closer and closer to losing. I pushed the thoughts out of my head though because that was when Scootaloo, a pegasus filly who was friends with the little sisters of two of the other elements, Applejack, element of honesty, and Rarity, element of generosity, came to ask me if I wanted to go on a camping trip with her, her friends, and their sisters.

Once we got back from the trip I had more or less adopted Scootaloo as my little sister. I got to know her a lot better and I eventually found out what her mysterious home life was like... Or rather, her lack of a home life. Her father used to be a guard. I say used to be because he was killed in a meaningless conflict when Scootaloo was only a few years old. Her mother fell into a depression afterwards and refused to go outside or talk to anypony. Scoots somehow managed to take care of her mother even though she was so young. It's really a blessing that her mother was given a sum of bits every week or else neither of them would have been able to pull through...

Did anything else happen then?

Things were calm for awhile but then something unthinkable happened. I went to the school to pick up Scootaloo and take her out flying but when I got there nopony had seen her all day. None of her friends knew where she lived and they felt horrible when the realized how little they actually knew of her home life. I flew off as fast as I could to her house and found that the door was unlocked and the lights were on. I went inside, nervously calling out for Scootaloo but again and again I got no answer. When... when I went up the steps I began to hear pained sobbing. It sounded like a pony had been crying for so long they had no tears left. I made my way towards the sound of the crying and found that the door to Scootaloo's mother's room was ajar and when I looked in I saw Scoots, my adopted sister, crying over her mother's unmoving body. I knew in an instant what had happened. At some point in the past day Scootaloo's mother had succumbed to her depression and died.

When I came back to my senses, when I had finally realized exactly what this all meant, I crept over to where Scootaloo had fallen into a silent, broken pile and the second I held her in my arms, the second I was able to let her know she was safe and there was still somepony there for her, I realized she was no longer breathing, and... there was an e-empty bottle of pills next to her hooves. In a blind panic I clutched her as close to me as I could and launched myself straight through the window in the direction of the hospital. It was hard to fly straight because I had blood in my eyes but about halfway there I had released a rainboom. I knew things would have been broken because of how low I was but the only thought on my mind was saving Scootaloo's life. I couldn't lose her, not like this, not when she finally had a reason to have hope in her life. I crashed through the window in the doors to the hospital and it wasn't until the nurses had pried Scoots from my hands that I noticed just how much blood I was losing. I looked behind me and saw a rather sickening streak of blood and with a feeling of pure horror I fell into an unconscious nightmare...

What happened while you were unconscious?

I was in complete torture. My parents who had died in the guard, Scoots, and my friends were being killed over and over again before my very eyes. What made it worse is that every time they died they looked at me with sheer horror frozen onto their faces and they mouthed a single word 'why?'. I woke up with a gasp and the only thing I could see was white. I quickly realized it was just a sheet and once I pulled it away from my face I saw all of my friends were gathered around me with looks of fear on their faces. I looked around me and saw that it was more then just my friends. The princesses, all of ponyville and even the wonderbolts were here and it took everything in me not to squeal like a fangirl and tackle them each in a hug. What really broke the foundation of my world is when I realized where I was. All around me I saw gravestones. To my left sat two coffins, one the size as the one I was in, and the other the size of a filly.

My entire world shattered. Everything came together and at the same time none of it made sense as I broke out in unrestrained tears. Twilight was the first to recover but she only managed to choke out a quite 'you're alive' before breaking down into tears. Every one of my friends soon followed but soon after they started Pinkie, lovable, crazy, Pinkie, leapt into the air with a squeal of joy and rushed off saying something about a 'glad you're not dead' party. Only when I managed to choke back my tears did I finish putting the rest of the scene together. Two other coffins, one the size of a filly, Scoots, the only pony in the world that I considered family, hadn't made it. Right next to me were the coffins of Scootaloo and her mother and when It finally hit me I shakily flew over to Scoot's coffin, lifted away the covering, and let my tears flow freely as I looked down at her cold, pale, body...

When did you find out what happened to you?

It didn't take very long to figure it out. The mark of the element of loyalty was embedded within my cutiemark and a scan from Princess Celestia confirmed what we had guessed. I had been brought back by the magic of my element and nopony could guess why. The elements weren't supposed to have the power to bring their wielders back from a cold death but somehow mine was able to. Another thing nopony knew was why it took a full week for me to come back to life. Everypony agreed that I got pretty lucky too. Another few hours and I would have been trapped underground in a coffin for as long as I lived.

It's kinda scary to think about it. If I had been buried, I would still be stuck there unless I somehow managed to dig my way out. If I had been buried, I would have used up all my oxygen and died minutes after i came back alive. At the time it scared me to no end just how much of a nightmare that moment could have been and for the next few nights my mind was trapped in the torment.

What were they about?

In my nightmares all the dangers me and my friends went through were replayed only certain things were a bit different. Instead of us getting away from the dangers... at least one of my friends died each time. I think those few nights are part of the reason I became so scarred over the years. When they started though, the first one to go was... Flu-fluttershy. When this hydra showed up at a bog outside of Ponyville all those years ago it found Fluttershy. When... when we got to the bog all we could find for proof that she was there were her feathers, torn up dirt and some blood. The hydra showed up again and it still had blood around its mouths, small drops of it being flung here and there as we ran for our lives away from it.

When I woke up and realized just how lucky we've gotten all these times it freaked me out. It got even worse though because the next one to go was Twilight. When I was finally able to fall asleep the next night my nightmares continued once again and the things I saw that night was when Twilight and the Cutie Mark Crusaders got turned to stone by the cockatrice. This one is the one that hit me the hardest. Not only did Twilight die, but Sweetiebell, Applebloom, and worst of all, Scootlaoo, died. I had to helplessly watch a second time as Scootaloo was taken away by the cold embrace of death. What really horrified me more then anything is that they died because Fluttershy was still dead from my last nightmare. When I woke up I realized they were playing in sequence as if something was forcing this torment onto me.

But, in my nightmare for the following night, Pinkie Pie had begun to go crazy and because of that, Rarity avoiding everypony, and me doing just about the same, Applejack went to Appleoosa alone. The buffalo and Appleoosians didn't come to a peaceful ending because our group wasn't all there and Applejack died from being gored by a rampaging buffalo. Things got even worse though when Pinkie Pie started pony-napping the townspeople, taking them to Fluttershy's cottage, and torturing then eating them alive. I was forced to watch as Pinkie did unspeakable things to the ponies she took. Eventually, she got caught and Princess Celestia had to banish her to the moon but not before she used some freaky powers to permanently damage the Princess.

For the third night in a row I had woke up in a cold sweat, crying my eyes out. That was day my friends confronted me about my increasing moodiness but I kept blowing them off because I couldn't actually work up the courage to talk about my nightmares. I also decided that if I wanted to get away from these nightmares I'd just have to... not sleep anymore so I did my job and did everything I could to keep me awake for as long as possible. I knew what sights I would be forced to watch in my nightmares and so I refused to fall asleep...

Did it work?

...I lasted for 2 days until I passed out while clearing the sky. Almost immediately my nightmare showed up in full force only this time everything was all destroyed. As I wandered around in my dream ponies ran from me and eventually I came upon a memorial for the two princesses. It didn't take very long that in the world of my nightmares I had become evil. The worst part though came when Discord came up to me and told me something horrible...

What did he say?

He said... He said the ponies were almost wiped out and then, and only then, I could have my wish and die in peace. I woke up screaming. For the first time since they began I actually woke up during the middle of a nightmare and the worst part was I woke up with the sound of Discord's laughter echoing in my mind. My scream became a wailing cry as the laugh repeated over and over again as if it were a broken record. A pony rushed into my room and stabbed a needle into me and as I began to calm down I realized I was in the hospital. The last thing I saw before I lapsed into unconsciousness was the spectral image of Discord breaking out of his stone prison, laughing once again.

That was the day things went downhill. It turns out when I died and the element of loyalty revived me for the second time Discord's prison weakened for what we found out was also the second time. While his physical form was still trapped his will was able to reach out and corrupt the minds of ponies. He figured it out that every time I was revived by my element his prison would weaken so he resorted to pushing me towards getting killed. The other problem that we discovered is that since my element was reviving me, it didn't have a similar enough power to harmonize with the other elements which meant if he escaped, we couldn't reseal him.

My life sort of leveled out after that. I was excused from my weather duties and Luna helped me along with my nightmares. Zecora even gave me a potion that would help me to forget the things I dreamed about. Everything seemed to be shaping up and it seemed like we'd be able to hit Discord's body with another blast from the elements to repair his prison. For the first time since... the accident... things finally began to look up for me. I don't know if it was just bad luck or fate being cruel that caused what happened next...

What was that?

Discord escaped. I died again and Discord escaped. I was visiting my old home in Cloudsdale and there was... an accident... at the factory. I was one of the first to get there and I didn't even give a damn about my own safety. I knew I couldn't die and I forgot that I needed to live in order to reseal Discord but... but I got careless and ended up getting caught in an explosion. Once he got out of his prison things immediately went to Tartarus.

I'll never forget those few weeks. He knew he was safe as long as he got me killed every so often. The things I went through... the things I went through were horrible even compared to what we're going through these days. Every day Discord put me in this room filled with death traps. The worst of it was I never questioned if I would make it to the end. It was only a question of how far I could make it. One of the first few traps always hurt me, or reduced one of my limbs to a bleeding stump. I was lucky the times I still had my wings... but even then I never even came close to getting out.

Eventually I became numb... cold... emotionless... I might not have died but I died as a pony. I became something else during those weeks. I became a broken shell of myself. My body lived but my soul died and it was horrible. The crushing weight of my loss, of my torment, became too much to handle alone, and being alone was the one thing I had. I'll never know what caused Discord to become so evil... but I wonder if he considered my deaths as nothing more then a game since no life was truly lost. ..

I've never heard of Discord before though...

We have Twilight to thank for that, that adorkable egghead did the impossible during those weeks. She found a way to recharge my element and when we challenged Discord they worked. He got trapped again and Celestia used her magic to make his prison a lot more permanent so even if I died a thousand times it wouldn't matter. We celebrated his defeat and got back to rebuilding our lives but it seemed like fate had one last cruel turn for us. And that turn was far, far worse then we could have imagined...

What... happened?

Once the dust had settled and the world fell back into harmony somepony else fell as well. Twilight collapsed not even 2 days after we beat Discord again and she never got back up. It turned out the spell she used on my element took more then just her magic. It also took some of her life energy and thanks to Discord's work it ended up being just about all of it. The doctors told us she died from mass cell degeneration and there was nothing in the world that could have saved her.

Nopony took that news harder then Princess Celestia herself. Everypony that heard her would hear her say something like 'she was supposed to ascend' or 'she was meant to live forever'. Nopony could have guessed that Celestia actually had feelings for the quirky unicorn mare but I guess even Princesses are ponies...

What happened with the rest of your friends?

They all took it differently. Pinkie Pie lost her smile, Applejack lost herself in her work, Fluttershy lost herself in her animals and Rarity lost herself in her tears. I don't know how many days it took, but I realized that when I heard that Twilight died, I had nothing left to lose. Out of all of my friends, out of all the ponies all over the world, I was changed the least by Twilight's death because I had no feeling left in me. Discord took more then just lives from me. He took my sanity, my remorse, my happiness, my depression. I was left with nothing and I felt nothing.

For one year after Twilight died I did, and was, nothing. Nopony noticed my absence because I had been around so little to begin with since this mess started. My friends didn't notice because they were all lost in their own depression. It seemed like the... five, of us were broken and gone. The day Twilight died, the day the magicdied, is the day our friendship died.

Eventually, we did get back together though it was by pure chance. On the anniversary of Twilight's death we all had the idea to go visit her grave at the time she died. The first one there was Pinkie. She was sitting at the foot of her grave, wailing endlessly. I was the second to be there and one by one the rest showed up. The only pony that looked healthy was Applejack but even she had more wear then I did. Every time I died my body reverted to how it was when I first got this stupid curse. The worst part though was we didn't even say a word to each other. We all sat there with nothing but the sounds of crying filling the air. It felt like we'd stay like that until we left one by one...

Did you?

No... Pinkie was the first one to speak up. 'What happened to us girls?' Nopony responded for the longest time. Not having the will to speak up. 'Twilight wouldn't have wanted it to be this way.' Fluttershy was the next to speak up. We thought about what she said and still we remained silent. 'That darling unicorn would have wanted us to live on for her' Rarity was the next to speak up, the silences lasting less and less. 'Ya'll'r right. It jus' a'int right t' go an fo'get what she stood for an all.' Applejack spoke up next and I knew it was my turn so I began almost immediately. 'You're right... We can't do this to ourselves. We have to continue on for Twilight's sake.' We all gathered together in a hug 'For Twilight's sake.' and went back to Ponyville.

Even though it took awhile, we all returned to some sense of normalcy. It felt strange not having Twilight around and Spike returned to Canterlot which felt even weirder. The five of us did whatever we could, when we could, and things were looking up. We all realized that life goes on, even if the thrill of living isgone. The years ticked on at that point. I became the Wonderbolts' captain, Rarity became the number one designer of Equestria, Pinkie became famous for her insane parties and had a hand in changing the face of parties forever. Applejack's farm expanded and Fluttershy opened animal clinics with the help of Rarity. We all became busy but no matter what, once a year, we always came back and met at Twilight's grave.

As the years went by my four closest friends grew older and older. Pinkie lost her limitless energy, Rarity lost her ability to make the best clothing in Equestria, Fluttershy lost her grace and Applejack had to step down from running the farm. The only pony who didn't lose to the power of time was me. Whenever I started to slow down or get rough around the edges I would hold myself under the water in my bath until I died. Nopony knew I did it; nopony knew I was willingly taking my own life just so I wouldn't grow old...

Was that really such a bad thing?

Maybe... I didn't think much of it the first time... but that all changed when Pinkie died. She was hosting another party and things got a little crazy. A fight broke out and Pinkie got trampled trying to calm everypony down. She... she died on her way to the hospital. Nopony was expecting her to die like that. Nopony was expecting her to die at a party gone wrong. She left a filly and grandcolt behind. Her filly, Amber Pie, was the most important thing in the world to Pinkie even though nopony knew who the father was. Amber couldn't stop crying as she held her colt, Tourmaline Pie. The only words I heard her say were 'It's ok Tora, Granny Pinkie is partying with daddy and the angel ponies now.'

Amber told us that her mom always said she wanted us to not mourn death, but to celebrate life so we did just that. We held the party in Canterlot and decorated it with pictures of her life from Pinkie's own collection. I became nostalgic when I looked at some of the pictures. I wondered how some of them were even taken but I settled on the fact that Pinkie Pie will be Pinkie Pie. The party lasted for a full three days; ponies coming and going as needed, food and drinks being refilled as needed. During that time I got to talking with Celestia and Luna and they helped me through the concept of living forever...

What happened next?

After Pinkie's funeral, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack and I got together to catch up with it being just the four of us. We talked about our lives and how things have been going. I could tell that my three remaining friends were envious on the inside at how I could reset my body just by dying. Rarity couldn't sew anymore, Fluttershy could hardly walk straight and Applejack was always nodding off at random times. We stuck around in Canterlot for a few weeks just spending all the time we could together but we knew it couldn't last. Since Fluttershy, Rarity and Applejack were all now retired they went back to Ponyville together. I wanted to go with them but a messenger came and told me I had to get back to the Wonderbolts academy. I gave the girls a teary and heartfelt good bye, hoping beyond hope I'd still be able to see them all again.

A few weeks passed by and things calmed down again. The training cycle was finished until the next group came in and so aside from shows I was on vacation. I decided right then and there I would spend all my vacation time in Ponyville so I immediately flew over. When I got there I first went to check out the farm only to find nopony was there. The next place I stopped at was Rarity's home and once again nopony was home. I was starting to get really worried at this point so I rushed over to Fluttershy's home. When I opened the door and walked inside I was met with my worst fear ever. Fluttershy's house was lifeless and completely silent. I just about broke down right then and there but a final thought hit me. Maybe she wasn't actually dead. Maybe she still had some time left and she was waiting for me. I rushed over to the hospital and asked the first nurse I could find if Fluttershy was here. I breathed a sigh of relief as she pointed me in the right direction and told me which room number was hers. When I got to her room I took a moment to catch my breath and compose myself.

When I entered the room everypony turned and looked at me with a somber expression. I could read it in everypony's faces what had just happened. From Applejack and her family, to Rarity, to the utter silence in the room, I could tell that I had just missed the last words of my best friend. I collapsed into a pile and wailed for what felt like years. When... when I regained the ability to move I crawled over to her bed but it felt like I was dragging myself into Tartarus. I shakily rose up so I could get a better look at her but I broke down yet again when I saw her tear stained face.

The first words I was able to utter after that were 'I- I never got t-to tell her... I loved her...' Rarity then wrapped a leg around my neck and held me tightly. She whispered soothingly into my ear saying 'Darling. Her last words were for you. She said she loved you from the moment you met and her greatest regret was never being able to build up the courage to say something.' I choked down a few more sobs after hearing that. I sat there in a miserable heap struggling to form even a single word. 'I... I never t-thought she shared my feelings... She was always so sh-shy... so I never had the chance t-to tell her...'

Do you still think about her a lot?

Yes. There... isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about my long lost Fluttershy. I... I never was able to meet somepony else. I was never able to let go of her and find love. I had my fair share of relationships, sure, but I was never able to find anything that lasted. They say it's always better to have loved and then lost then to never have loved at all but I wonder... If I never loved her to begin with would I have been better off? If we were just really close friends would I have been able to move on? I've always wondered that and yet I never could come up with an answer. Everything in me wants to believe that I'd have been better off but there's a small part that knows that's not true. I know it in my heart that loving her was the best thing that ever happened to me and the only mistake I made was being too cautious with her. If only I had acted without thinking like I always did then maybe I could have lived the happiest days of my life with her. But since she was special I didn't want to accidentally hurt her or make things awkward between us. I guess in the end none of that really matters though because after her funeral I buried myself in my work to cope.

I put everything I had into the Wonderbolts for the next few years after that. I'd come into contact with Rarity and Applejack occasionally but I never really was very close to Rarity and Applejack was always so tired and absent from the world. Eventually, I got a message from Rarity telling me to take a few weeks off to come visit so I did just that. I realized that it had actually been awhile since I took a look through the whole town. I took a quick fly over the town which was looking a bit more like a small city these days but I figured I shouldn't keep my friends waiting and so I flew right to Rarity's house only to find it empty. Fearing the worst I quickly flew over to Applejack's house and, thankfully, her family was still out and about. I went inside and Applebloom's grandcolt, Brawny Appleseed, explained what was going on. I went upstairs to Applejack's room to find Rarity by her side, comforting her. I chocked down a few tears at seeing my favorite rival in such a weak state and, slowly, we filled each other in on the events of our lives the past few years...

Is that all that happened?

Applejack... died... two weeks after I got to Ponyville. I made sure I was there this time because I didn't want another one of my closest friends to slowly leave this world without me right there offering my support. The two of us reminisced about the good ol' days where we would fight over just about everything. Her words came slowly and her memories even slower but still, we enjoyed ourselves. A week before her final breaths her condition worsened. Sometimes when I went to see her she wouldn't recognize me as me at first and think I was my own grandfilly. It was... painful... having to remind her why I looked the same as I did all those years ago. She didn't say it but I saw the jealousy in her eyes that I could stay young forever and all it took was a quick... painless, death.

Her funeral was a week after she died. Her tombstone placed right next to Pinkie Pie's right along with Fluttershy's and Twilight's markers. I knew that someday soon Rarity would join them and then I would be alone. When the funeral was over and everything had calmed down I went back to the Wonderbolt's HQ and got to work on picking out somepony who could take over. It took me a week but I did it. I found the perfect pony who I later found out was a descendant of Spitfire. When I announced my resignation it shocked every pegasus in Cloudsdale. Nopony was expecting it. Nopony wanted it but still, I did it. When they asked me for a reason I just said, 'It's something I gotta do.' and kept on moving along. They actually held a ceremony for me when everything was finally in order. It was a huge thing since I was the longest standing captain of the Wonderbolts. It was fun and special and all but I left as soon as I could and headed on back to Ponyville...

Why did you go back?

I had to. I knew that if I was going to stay sane I had to go back to Ponyville for awhile. I resolved that from that day I'd let myself die naturally. When I got too old to fly I'd find a quiet place to live out however long it took me to die again. I took back the reigns for the weather patrol which had, unfortunately, fallen into a bit of disarray. The current captain, Clear Blue, was more then happy to let me take the lead. After I got myself situated I went to pay Rarity a visit. I knew she was getting close to the end so I suggested we take a trip to the spa. We went to the now world famous Ponyville Spa and got the aptly named Rarity special. It felt nice having hooves work on me for relaxation instead of pure tension release. The process was slower, sure, but I could live with this.

We talked the entire time. Nothing of any real substance but it was nice to talk to somepony. We went from one relaxing thing to another and I noticed that, as time went on, Rarity began to take on a more aloof manner of speaking. When we got to the mineral baths her attention snapped back to me and she asked me the strangest of questions. 'So when you k- err... reset yourself... How did you go about it?' I became a little nervous as her question but after a little pestering I gave in and told her how I'd usually just hold myself under the water until I died. When I was reborn I'd pop right back to the surface as if nothing had happened with a good-as-new body. She said 'what an intriguing concept' and then closed her eyes while laying her head down on the headrest. I decided to do the same and, lost in the relaxing sensations, I nodded off. When I came to I realized that Rarity had been completely silent. I took a look next to me to see that Rarity was nowhere to be seen and so I figured she had gotten out of the bath...

She didn't though, did she?

... I... I k-killed the last of my remaining closest friends. I gave her the idea of drowning herself because in her old age I guess she thought she could do the same as I did. I noticed the strands of her mane and tail in the far end of the bath, disguised by the purple hue of the water from the oils. I beat myself up constantly for not noticing sooner because if I had then maybe... maybe she wouldn't have died. Maybe I would have been in time to bring her back...

Are you ok?

Yea... but other then her sister, who was in some far off place, Rarity didn't leave any family behind. She never could find her Prince Charming after all. I took care of the arrangements and, short of Fluttershy's, this was by far the worst of my friends funerals. I put on a face during the events but when it was all over I went back to my house and found a knife. I stared at it for a few moments, lined it up, and plunged it deep into my heart. I felt the sharpest of pains right then and blood dripped from the wound as I quickly died. When I came back to life the knife had been pushed out of my body and left to lay in the puddle of my pegasus blood that has pooled on the clouds of my home. I readied myself and plunged the knife back into my heart.

I did this again and again for what felt like days... weeks... months... I figured if I died enough times there wouldn't be enough magic left to bring me back. I didn't know at the time exactly how long I went on with this but I could tell that I was dead longer then I was alive. I knew from my previous experiences that the time it took me to revive was based on how much damage was done to my body. At some point in time I noticed that my blood had formed a river coming from my home. I looked and saw as it was turning into a rainbow as it fell. I watched it flow and it reminded me of a little poem I was told as a filly to teach me to respect the weather that forms naturally. "When it's a rainbow you see, high up in the sky. An angelic Pegasus, has just gone to fly." It meant that whenever you see a naturally occurring rainbow a pegasus had just died. I never gave it a thought until I saw the rainbow that came from my own blood...

So I take it you gave up on your... plan?

...In a way. I gained a sort of earthly calmness from that experience. I tilted my house to let the last of my blood flow out and then went into town to find out I had been caught in my cycle for a full decade. I took the next few months to catch myself up with the world, being careful to avoid talking about what I did, and eventually made my way back to the Wonderbolts HQ to see how things were. I got offers to take back my old position as captain but I declined each time. I thought about what I'd do with myself and that's when I got the idea to travel around the world. I didn't take much with me aside from the knife that I had used on myself for the last 10 years. I threw it in a waterproof saddlebag along with paper and ink so I could document the things I saw. I didn't say anything because I had no reason to so I just left. I flew towards the morning sun, letting it guide my path, and resigned myself to many lifetimes of traveling east...

So what ended up happening?

I discovered new things. New creatures, new races, new plants. I got into my fair share of problems but nothing would change my path. I always flew towards the sun and I never looked back, not even once. Food was never a problem since if I ever got poisoned I just had to use my knife. There was one time I ate something that paralyzed me for awhile but I had become numb when it came to pain by that point so it didn't matter. I wished I had some way to keep samples of the things I saw but I just drew the most detailed pictures I could. The only times thing got grim for me were when I came upon deserts and oceans. I was worried that I might fall into the ocean and sink, never to return to the surface, but I learned that I floated on the surface without an issue. In the deserts I was worried I might end up suffering through it but when I became thirsty with no source of water I was just a quick stab away from becoming well again. I... improved... how I killed myself during my journey. I got it to the point where it would only take what I could guess was half an hour until I was alive again. I sometimes wondered what would happen if something ate at me while I was dead but now I know that if my body were to become caught in something that continually caused damage to me, My body would be moved to a safe location against my will.

Eventually, though, I began to notice familiar sights. When I saw my house on the west end of Ponyville, still there after such a long time, I celebrated on the inside. I didn't know exactly how long my journey was but I found out it had been over 50 years since Rarity had died. I immediately went to the Canterlot library and gave them what had become an impressive collection of notes and went on my way. After I was done settling in I went straight to Scootaloo's grave and shared a few words with her. 'Hey Scoots. Sorry I haven't visited in such a long time. I went out to travel around the world! I'm the first pony to ever do something like that and they're gonna have a big celebration in Canterlot for me in a week. I'll be sure to save you some cake, ok?'

I resigned myself to a moment of silence before I left. I stopped by Applejack's farm and reacquainted myself with a very old Brawny Appleseed. I visited Sugarcube Corner and found out Tourmaline Pie had followed in Pinkie's footsteps and became yet another party pony in the Pie family and finally I visited the homes of Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy, all of which held a tribute to their memory. Feeling satisfied with my trot down memory lane I went to Cloudsdale to check on the Wonderbolts. I didn't recognize a single pony there but I was quickly pointed to a statue that was made in my memory. It was kind of odd seeing a statue made, not for the fact that I had died, but to memorialize the day I disappeared. In hindsight, I probably could have said something to somepony about my journey instead of just leaving. Apparently, about a decade after I left they sent somepony to ask me if I wanted to take up the position of captain since the current one was retiring. When nopony could track me down for a few years after that they made the memorial...

When did the world end?

...I was wondering when you'd ask that... The end of the world happened no less then 100 or so years after I got back from my adventure. Ponykind entered into a great age of exploration and we fully charted out our world. Science advanced rapidly and it seemed like the next obstacle for us to cross would be to fly into the stars. I had finally followed through with living out a full life and dying naturally. It took a full year for me to revive after that. It was so strange for me. They left me on my bed in my home and then went on with their lives. When I had finally come back to life I got the idea that maybe, just maybe, if I destroyed my body enough I would never revive. Over the next week I gathered explosives and filled a sac with them. I flew away from Ponyville, hopefully for the last time, leaving a letter where I was going for when people came looking for me at my house. I slipped into the sac, fitting myself among the explosives, and lit a few of them up. I said a prayer, wished the world good bye, and woke up to a world set on fire.

When I finally accepted what had happened I picked myself up off the ground and noticed the sky was dark aside from a deathly red glow. I noticed there was no sun or moon in the sky and so I feared the worst. I flew back in the direction in what I hoped was Ponyville and was greeted with an endless expanse of rubble. I looked all around me and noticed the world was flat. I flew up high and saw that the mountains were rubble, the forests were ashes, and the lakes and rivers were dried up. I looked around trying to find anything that was living. I kept searching and... well that's when the demons brought me here...

So... you don't know what happened?

No. I don't know a thing about what happened. I realized something in all this though.

What was that?

I realized that life isn't a question of how long you'll live; it's a question of how long you can live with being alive...

"Mom? How did the world end?"

"Well... Stories say that the Element of Loyalty, Rainbow Dash, was turned to dust. After it happened her element became a magical siphon. It leeched the power of the rest of the elements and once they became lifeless it began to suck the world dry. Your aunt Celestia tried to stop it but... she paid the ultimate sacrifice. When she died the universe fell out of balance and Tartarus broke open, flooding the world with evil. Ponies either died from being stripped of their magic or they died from the demons. Fortunately, we had plans to explore space and it only took a little effort to retrofit out ships to turn them into colony ships. When everything was ready we set off into the great unknown."

"So is she still alive?"

"Most likely. They say her life is tied to ours so as long as ponies live, so will she. I suppose by now she would be the only living thing on that barren rock; doomed for all eternity by her curse. T'is a sad fate but an earned one for she who destroyed our world."

Author's Note

Well after all these months I finally finished this. As a fun fact (that I may have mentioned before) it took me maybe an hour to write Pinkie's story whereas this one took about 3 months.

As a closer, I must say, I gave and got so many feels to/from this one so I hope it doesn't go to waste.

P.S. I put a few hidden songs in here. Whenever I wrote something that reminded me of lyrics to a song (or the song title) I'd always end up listening to the song and then I just edited the song in. There's a total of 3