Mostly About Tacos

by Jayellow

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 1011

Discord, once again a statue, thinks about many things. But mostly about tacos.

Discord is once again a statue. With nothing to do but think, he has to find ways to pass the time. Being the spirit of chaos, this means just thinking about whatever catches his already short attention.

Oh, and tacos.

Published 2013-01-14 23:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-14 23:40:02 UTC

Burritos? NO.

"Well, back in the statue," Discord thought, "Now, what should I think about for the NEXT one thousand years?"

A tentative pause filled the garden. It was almost as if the world was anticipating the thoughts of the Draconoquues.

"Tacos," Discord pondered with finality, "I shall think about tacos."

A bush to his right face-branched. Or maybe that was just the wind...

"Wait, what is a taco?"

"Roses are red, violets are blue. I am bored with this poem, potato." Discord had tried many different methods of passing the time, but his thoughts always drifted off quickly.

However, his mind once again returned to the greatest question he had ever pondered.

"Maybe a taco is a... Type of insect?"

"So, after the pea soup is ready, I'll cover the roads in soap- No, wait I already did that. This time I'll cover the soap in roads!" Discord's mind had been wandering with nowhere to go for quite a while now. With nothing to do but think all day, he had plenty of time to plan his next great escape and subsequent chaos-creating.

Sometimes, ponies would visit the garden, but he mostly ignored them. Although there was one who visited and gave him the idea to turn everyone bipedal, except for her. It was an idea he was particularly proud of, he just couldn't wait to see the look on that mare's face!

"I never did figure out what a taco is..."

"...And that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth." Discord finished. He didn't know where the speech he had just thought came from, but he had the random urge to think it. He also was filled with the urge to wear a tall hat. It was something he didn't fully understand. Then again, understanding was something Discord felt was unnecessary. Who wants to understand things, that's just overrated!

"Although", he mused, "Maybe just this once, I'd like to know why I have the urge to ensure equality among ponies..."

Discord, still in his "Oh, no!" pose, was having some minor difficulties.

"So, if the Teddy Bear army marches south, that will leave my western front undefended from the radiator warriors. Perhaps if I send the Lemon Legion west, the League of Legendary Limes will join my cause. Lemon and Lime does sound like a good combination, I wonder if anypony has tried that before."

Meanwhile, a real fight was taking place just outside of his imaginary one.

"I'm not chicken! You are!" A young, alabaster colt accused another.

"No way! I dared YOU to go touch the statue! Now, go do it, 'cause I won't!" The ebony unicorn pointed at the stony faced Spirit of Chaos.

With an angry growl, the white earth pony drew near the statue. In the moon's light, it did seem almost sinister. It was as if Discord were actually aware of his surroundings inside that statue.

Slowly, he reached a hoof to the trapped Avatar of Chaos. He gently tapped the foot of the statue, and quickly withdrew. He could have sworn he heard a sound like the tiniest of bells when he touched the stone foot.

"There, are you happy now?" He called out to his friend.

"No, you chicken! Actually touch it!" The dark colored unicorn called back.

The two descended into fighting at that point. Right in front of the statue of Discord.

"Hmm? What's this?" Discord noticed the chaotic energy source right in front of him, "Just as I was about to steal the secret doughnut recipe from the Kitchen Sink Empire!"

Of course, he quickly focused on the energy in front of him. He could feel it flowing through him, weakening the seal.

"Just a few more seconds!" He strained, as the seal was less worn down from time.

Then, he felt it. The mobility in his joints was returning!

"Yes!" He exclaimed, "Free once again!" He struck a dastardly pose, with his fingers tapping right in front of his face. "Now for my new reign of chaos!"

But, it would seem as though the seal was not fully broken. For, just as he was about to leave, he felt a sharp impact to his stomach.

A stone statue now holding its hands just inches from its nose fell backwards onto the ground. Two ponies were not a second behind it.

"NO," Discord cursed, "I WAS SO CLOSE! I SHALL TURN YOU TWO INTO TACOS ONCE I AM FREE!"

The two colts quickly sobered up, and looked around frantically.

"Did you hear something about being close?" The black one said, standing and helping his friend.

"No, but I did hear the word 'taco,' what's a taco, anyways?" The earth pony questioned.

"I do not know... Sounds good, though."

Shrugging, and forgetting their fight, the two walked away into the night. One by the name of Tortilla Wrap, and the other Black Bean.

And that is how Tacos were brought to Equestria.

Many years passed, and Discord's thoughts were just as random as before.

"My nose itches," he thought.

At first, the feeling was so small, he hardly even registered it. But it grew. Soon enough, Discord was almost begging one of those annoying birds to land on his face, just in the hope that they could scratch his itch.

"CURSE YOU ELEMENTS!"

Many years had passed since Discord had been sealed. Finally, after much waiting, he had become free once more.

"FINALLY!" He shouted, "My nose has been itching for nine hundred years! And my fingers were RIGHT IN FRONT OF IT!"

The two ponies who had accidentally facilitated his escape looked up in horror as he furiously scratched his nose.

"Now," he said, his nose thoroughly itched, "I shall go have a taco."

And so he did.

What, did you expect him to do something like, say, try to take over Equestria? He's Discord, you should know not to expect him to do anything! Especially not the same thing twice, geez.