What is this?

Part III: Pinkie Pie's Story

(back on Earth, about ten minutes ago, my first person POV)

“Original… original…” I thought to myself as a carefully studied the Pinkie Pie plushie I recently bought from Hot Topic, getting off-track, I start thinking irrationally and completely forget about my story, “Pinkie Pie!” I said as I stared into the plushie’s eyes, “I wish you were real! Like you can actually talk and stuff!”

Just as I finish that sentence I start to see some sort of magic forming around the doll as it starts glowing, “What the hell?” then suddenly the plushie comes to life and grows to normal size and start breathing, being that I’ve read a lot of fanfics, I’ve come to easily believe such peculiar happenings. “Pinkie?” I ask, wondering if this was the real life, or if it’s just fantasy.

“Yes?” the pink pony responded.

“Oh my god this is really happening! I’M talking to PINKIE PIE!” I meant to think that in my head, but apparently I said it aloud, I know that because Pinkie answered with,

“Yes! Yes it is!” I wondered if she was the same Pinkie Pie I had met in Equestria just a few days ago! Then I remembered my story. Oh my god! My story! This is the perfect opportunity! I then reminded her of our little encounter back in Equestria and apparently, she’s not the same Pinkie from Equestria, physically, but she still has her memories as she immediately knew exactly what I was talking about when I mentioned my phone.

“Do you remember that black thing that fell out of my pocket, just as I was leaving Equestria?”

“Yeah!”

“Well, what do you think this is?”

“Well earlier today…” she started. I got on my computer and typed everything she said.

*****************

(Interior of  Twibrary, in Equestria, present time, narrative POV)

“…I met this, um, COLT! That’s it!” not wanting to mention me as a human, she replaced me with a colt, to keep everypony from getting suspicious. “And this fell out of his pocket.” She continued, referring to my phone.

“I thought you said you found it in the street!” Twilight interjected.

“Don’t interrupt me!” Pinkie shouted back, “Anyway…” she then went on to tell an intensely insane story that didn’t make any sense at all, even for Pinkie standards. “And then this cyborg zombie-pony from space showed up…”

Everypony was getting annoyed and confused. Fast.

“And he was all like ‘Yes!’ and I was all like ‘No!’ And he was all like…”

This went on for days.

“So I had to fight all twelve ninjas by myself, with a broken hoof!”

Rainbow Dash and Rarity got so bored, they eventually felt themselves aging.

“And Marcus yelled, ‘Dom! We need to bring down the hammer!’ And Dom was like, ‘I don’t wanna!’”

This was not going to stop anytime soon.

“And Applejack yelled at Twilight: ‘Forget you, I can eat ALL these apples’ And Fluttershy said something about a shed…”

This had to stop.

“QUIIIIEEET!!!” Twilight yelled, not being able to keep contained anymore, waking everypony up. Everypony except Lyra, who somehow stayed awake, carefully listening and Twilight could’ve sworn she saw her taking notes.

“And then I said ‘Oatmeal are you craze-’ Oh.” Pinkie felt a bit awkward.

“Pinkie, could you maybe sum this up?” Twilight asked through a yawn, as she looked at her calendar. “It’s been three days! Do you think you could tell us the short version of your story?”

“I was telling the short version of my story!” she responded.

Twilight felt herself die a little inside, Thank Celestia we’re not hearing the FULL version of her story! She thought, trying to stay optimistic. I don’t think I could last that long, I barely made it THIS far! She mentally concluded. You know, I can hear everything you just thought, right? Pinkie thought, but in Twilight’s mind. Note to self: Figure that part out later with some aspirin, then try to forget this whole episode. Twilight thought, feeling herself slowly drift into literal insanity. She levitated a random book towards her eyes to read it.

“What’cha readin’ about?” Pinkie asked.

“I don’t know and I don’t care, I just need to read something that makes sense before I end up losing my mind!” Twilight answered.

“Can I finish my story now?”

Applejack froze. This is how I DIE! She thought.

“Anyway…” Pinkie started.

Oh Dear Celestia! What have I done to deserve this punishment? Rainbow Dash thought. Is this because I told Scootaloo I’d miss her birthday party to sign up for the Wonderbolts? But instead I blew her off just to take a nap all day? Or the time I told everypony in town about Fluttershy’s crush on Big Mac even though I swore secrecy? Or when I- Rainbow came to a sudden realization. Sweet Celestia! I deserve every bit of this! Rainbow thought, finally acknowledging her conscience.

Pinkie had apparently gained all her momentum back and then some, not caring that Twilight wasn’t listening to a word she said anymore.

“And Tom Flanks looked Private Ryan right in the eyes and said, ‘Earn this!’”

Here we go again.

“‘Which one of you is the REAL Dirty Dan?’”

Lyra had several pages of notes already, more notes than Twilght usually takes on magic in a week.

“I’m so sick and tired of being admired that I was that I would just DIE or get fired!”

You noticing all my references?

“And the Scout said ‘What, are you? President of his fan club?’ and the Spy said, ‘No! That would be your mother!’”

How long was this going to go on for?

“Peter Pony picked a peck of pickled feathers!”

I think Rarity just died.

“And that’s how Equestria was made!” Pinkie concluded. She was apparently finished, as she stopped talking and simply stared at her half-dead audience, watching and waiting for a reply.

It took Twilight about thirty seconds to realize Pinkie was done, as she had put ear-buds in two hours ago. Praise the lord, Sweet Day-bringing Celestia it’s finally over! Twilight thought, relieved that she could, yet keep her sanity intact.

“Well that was, uh… an interesting story, Pinkie! Lot of, uh, let’s see… details?”

“Yeah I had a lot of fun telling it! My favorite was the part where Sgt Johnson said ‘Send me out! With a BANG!’ or maybe when Ferris Bueller got the whole town to sing at that parade! Or maybe when-” I have to stop this now before I get sued

“So anyway, who else has an idea?” Twilight interrupted, as if she knew the dangers of copyright infringement. Lyra wasn’t paying attention, as she was studying her notes to learn more about the devices she had stashed at home. Rarity, who apparently wasn’t dead, got up and announced:

“Darling, I might have an idea. Don’t worry, this won’t take three days to tell, just a few hours at most.”

“Well, we only have time for two more stories, so somepony’s not going to get tell hers. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy?” Twilight looked at the aforementioned pegasi. “Do either of you mind giving up your story?”

Fluttershy, not trying to be too pushy, gave up her chance without a second thought. “Oh! I don’t mind not talking. I haven’t the slightest clue anyway. Rainbow should tell hers instead, I bet it’ll be much more informative then anything I could ever come up with.”

“Gee, thanks, Flutters!” Rainbow said giving Fluttershy a thankful hug. “I’ll make sure it’ll be twice as awesome to make up for it! Deal?”

“No problem Dashie!” Fluttershy acknowledged, “I was actually kind of looking forward to hear your story the whole time!” Rainbow’s face turned red with flattery and she gave her yellow Pegasus friend another big hug.

“Thank you!” she repeated.

“Darling, that was so sweet!” Rarity commented.

“So Rarity, your thoughts on this device?” Twilight asked, eager to hear something that wouldn’t drive a pony to insanity for once.

“Oh! OK! Allow to paint the proper scene…” Rarity started.