Everfree 1
Chapter 2

Canterlot City
A few hours later...

Perception Filter walked the streets of Canterlot, wondering who else he should recruit for this small expedition. They would need somepony to help navigate, some ponies for heavy lifting, and if things turned out bad, somepony for security. With all of these thoughts going through his head, he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going until he bumped into a blue pegasus with a flame-styled mane.

“Oh, sorry!” he uttered in surprise, taking a step back. Oddly, the other pegasus didn’t seem to hear him.

“Uh, are you okay?” Still, he didn’t respond, and Perception Filter saw what he was looking at. He had a strange smile on his face and was staring at a small mote of fire on his fur, slowly crawling its way up his leg. Strangely, he didn’t seem affected by it.

“Hey, buddy,” Perception Filter said. “Your arm’s on fire.”

“Huh?” the pegasus said, snapping out of his trance-like state. “Oh, so it is.” He calmly patted down his leg and held it out. His fur wasn’t burned, or even singed.

“I’m Pyromancer!” he said cheerily. Perception Filter warily took his hoof and shook.

“Perception Filter,” he replied cautiously.

“Nice ta meetcha. Well, I gotta get going. Things to burn!” he said cheerily, trotting off.

“Hey, wait a minute!” Perception Filter called out, and Pyromancer stopped.

“Yeah?”

“Would you be interested in making some bits?” Pyromancer turned around and gave him a thoughtful look.

“That depends... What’s the job?”

“An expedition into the Everfree forest.”

“Oh, that sounds fun!” Pyromancer said cheerily, clopping his hooves together excitedly. “So, what’s my job?”

“Well, we need some guards, some navigators, and some heavy lifters. You good at any of those?”

“Well, I don’t know about heavy lifting, or navigating. But I can guard some stuff! I mean, I love to burn things, so what’s the difference?”

“And, uh... How exactly would that work?” Perception Filter asked skeptically.

“Well I dunno. I could jury-rig a flamethrower or something.”

“And why would that help us?”

“Well, I dunno. It’s fire. Fire is all purpose!”

“... I don’t even know how to respond to that...”

“Then it’s settled!”

“What?” Perception Filter asked in shock. “No! Nothing’s settled!”

“Yes, yes it is! I go build a flamethrower and you hire me as a guard!” Pyromancer said cheerily. “Right?”

“No! Not at all! Why would I need a guard that burns things?!” Perception Filter was thoroughly bewildered now.

“Because I could start campfires easily!”

“W-what?!”

“Exactly!”

“I’m not hiring you to start campfires!”

“Yes you are!”

“No, no I’m not!” Perception Filter couldn’t understand what exactly was wrong this pony, but whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

“Fine, be that way!” Pyromancer said, turning his head up. “I just wanted to burn some stuff,” he muttered under his breath.

“Why do you love fire so much?”

“Because I just do, alright! Why are you prying so much?” he snapped at Perception Filter, grumbling angrily. The pegasus was caught off guard.

“W-well, I don’t know! I’m just wondering why I should hire somepony who only likes to burn things. You could burn down the whole forest!”

“I know when to be careful!” Pyromancer protested angrily.

“B-but why?! Why would I hire you?!” Perception Filter asked, throwing his hooves into the air, before the pyromaniac sighed.

“Okay, let me spell this out. Fire is all purpose—”

“You already said that,” Perception Filter interrupted, and Pyromancer shot him a dark glare and he shrunk back a little.

“Fire can be used for warmth, something that I’m sure will be in short supply in the Everfree, and it can be used for scaring away large predators! What else are you possibly going to deal with in the Everfree?!”

“Well...” Perception Filter was skeptical, but the insane pony’s arguments held merit. “I know I’m going to regret this... But, I guess, maybe, I could hire y—”

He was interrupted by Pyromancer as he cheered loudly, jumping in the air. He started hopping around in a circle around Perception Filter, chanting some odd word over and over. Quickly, the pegasus jumped up and tackled the insane pony. He didn’t seem any worse for wear when he got up.

“Sorry about that,” he chuckled nervously. “I guess I kinda went coo-coo there for a second.” He spun his hoof around the side of his head for effect.

“Uh-huh, sure,” Perception Filter said skeptically. “Here, take my card.” He flicked out a card on his hoof, and Pyromancer snatched it away from him. “I’ll be in touch.” Pyromancer started laughing and hopping away.

~~~~~

The Drunken Stallion, Canterlot City

A few hours later...

Perception Filter sat on a barstool in a seedy bar that he had found not too far from the crazy doctor Psyche. He sighed and took a long gulp of whiskey, finishing off the bottle in his hoof. This was hell. He was recruiting people off the streets? God. He threw a few bits on the bar and another whiskey bottle, this one full, slid down next to him. He took a generous gulp. The sad truth was, nopony sensible wanted anything to do with the Everfree forest. It was large, scary, full of unknown creatures, and had never been fully charted.

Wasn’t that the objective of Everfree 1? To make the place seem like less of a black hole, and more like just unexplored territory? After several long seconds of thought on the topic, he came to a conclusion: he wasn’t paid enough for this bullshit. He finished off his whiskey and slammed his head into the oak bar. Somewhere off to his left, he heard somepony shouting, but he didn’t care. Soon, the shouting escalated into the sounds of a barfight, and Perception Filter looked up and saw a large orange earth pony buck another stallion into the wall with a loud crack.

He winced and turned his head away. He wasn’t paid enough for this bullshit either.

“Hey,” came a pesky voice from his right, and somepony poked him. He grunted, hoping whomever it was would leave him alone.

“Hey!” The pony poked him again. Groaning, he lifted his head up and saw the orange stallion standing over him.

“What?” Perception Filter asked irritably.

“Buy me a drink?” the pony asked. Perception Filter looked behind him to his table and saw several empty beer, whiskey, and vodka bottles littered about.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” he asked the large pony, yawning.

“Nah, that stuff was weak. I’m O’tipsey by the way.”

“Yeah, fine, whatever...” Perception Filter relented and waved his hoof to the barstool next to him, not bringing his head up from the bar. O’tipsey obliged and plopped down next to him.

“Thanks mate.” he said, taking a whiskey bottle and downing it in one go. Somehow, the alcohol still did not seem to affect him.

“How are you drinking so much?” the pegasus asked, amazed at the drinking ability of the large pony.

“I dunno,” he shrugged in response. “Strong liver I guess?”

Perception Filter grunted and plopped his head down on the bar again.

“Hey, buddy,” said O’tipsey

“I’m not buying you anymore drinks,” Perception Filter groaned in response.

“No, that’s not it.”

“Then, what?”

“Why are you drinking so much if you can’t handle it?”

“Because I’m failing at my job,” he said, not lifting his head.

“What’s your job?” O’tipsey asked, finishing his drink.

Before responding, Perception Filter looked up with bloodshot eyes at the annoying pony.

“Why the fuck are you bothering me?” he asked, irritated.

“Making conversation?” O’tipsey said, shrugging again. Perception Filter sighed once more.

“So, what’s this job of yours then?”

“I work for MagiTech Inc.,” he responded. “I’m supposed to be recruiting ponies for an expedition into the Everfree. Only problem is, nopony sensible wants to go.”

“Well, I could help you.” O’tipsey said with a smile.

Perception Filter raised an eyebrow at him.

“You could?”

“Hey, buddy,” the bartender interrupted them. “Buy something or get out.” O’tipsey shot him an annoyed look and threw a few bits on the counter.

“Two whiskeys.” The bartender smiled and swept the money into a small pouch and pulled out two new whiskey bottles.

“Oh no, I’m not drinking anymore.” Perception Filter said, waving his hoof at the incoming liqueur.

“They weren’t for you,” O’tipsey said, downing both of the bottles in a few seconds.

“Oh, well then... You were saying you could help me?”

“Yeah. You need somepony for heavy lifting?”

Perception Filter gave him an incredulous look.

“You’re actually willing to go into the Everfree?”

“Yeah, why not.” The stallion shrugged. “Is the pay good?”

“Well, yes but—”

“Then I don’t see the problem!” There was silence for a few moments. Perception Filter pushed himself upright, groaning wearily. He felt as if he were going to fall over for a few moments, but managed to keep his balance.

“The trip is going to take a few months to get there and back,” he said, looking at the other pony with newfound interest.

“Not a problem. As long as you got liqueur. If you don’t got that, I’m not going. “

“I might be able to arrange that. What kind?”

“Anything really,” O’tipsey said, shrugging.

“Well then. Since you’re so optimistic about this, why don’t you do me a favor?” Perception Filter asked.

“What?”

“Take me back to my hotel.”

“Woah!” O’tipsey said, taking a step back. “I’m not that drunk dude; I think you’ve had too much.”

“No, you stupid idiot, I’m too drunk to walk. I’d never make it back on my own. Since you now technically work for me, I’m telling you to help me back to my hotel.”

“Well, okay. But you better not try anything!” O’tipsey said, smiling deviously. Perception Filter sighed and pushed himself away from the bar and fell over. With barely enough time to let loose a curse, he hit the ground and groaned.

“You okay?” O’tipsey asked, trying not to laugh, as he leaned over the fallen pegasus.

“Help me up you fucking idiot.” Perception filter stuck out a hoof, which O’tipsey took and hauled him up.

“Alright then, can I ask your name, o’glorious master?” Perception Filter groaned and facepalmed messily.

“You’re one little sarcastic shit aren’t you?”

“Yes, yes I am. So, that name?”

“I’m Perception Filter.”

“Okay then, Perception Filter, where is this hotel of yours?” O’tipsey asked, as they left the bar and walked into the city. The sun was setting slowly in the west, setting the sky ablaze with oranges and reds that were distorted by a gray smoggy haze that hung over the city.

“It’s about a mile away. Through the park,” he responded, pointing down the street to a cluster of fenced off trees.

“Alrighty then, let’s go,” O’tipsey remarked, with Perception Filter leaning on his shoulder heavily. Slowly but surely, they limped down the street to the faraway park. The trip there was rather uneventful, and no words were spoken. A small chill had worked its way into the air, but the two drunken ponies didn’t notice a thing. Before long they reached the park and were shambling through the trees. The leaves overhead blocked the barely shining moon, trapping both of the ponies in near darkness.

“Hey, Percy, can you see anything?” O’tipsey asked, trying to peer through the blackness.

“Who’s Percy?” Perception Filter asked.

“You,” O’tipsey responded, still trying to look for any light.

“Maybe we should go back,” Perception Filter suggested.

“Now why would we do that? We’ve come this far.”’

“Because I feel like I’m going to vomit,” Perception Filter said, gagging and falling to the ground.

“What, you got some sort of aversion to throwing up in the dark?”

“No, I just don’t—” Before he could finish his sentence, he heaved and emptied the contents of his stomach onto the grass with O’tipsey patting his back supportingly.

“There there, just let it all out,” he said, snickering under his breath. Perception Filter shot him a glare, but couldn’t hold it for long before going back to retching on the ground. After he finally finished, he wiped his muzzle and slowly got to his feet, legs shaking.

“Are you gonna be okay?”

“Y-yeah... I think so.”

“You really shouldn’t be drinking if you can’t hold your liquor,” O’tipsey commented, hauling the sick pegasus to his feet. Perception Filter swayed a little bit and pushed O’tipsey’s leg away from him, complaining that he could stand just fine.

“C’mon guy, you can’t stand just fine. Without my help you wouldn’t have made it this far.”

“Wait! Shh, shhh.” Both ponies fell silent and there was no noise.

“Is there some reason you’re—” O’tipsey was cut off as Perception Filter clamped his mouth shut. The wind howled eerily through the trees. Slowly, he let go of the affronted pony’s mouth.

“Sorry,” he apologized. “Thought I heard something.”

“Yeah, well, you do that again I’m not working for you.”

“Oh shut up. You love me.”

“What?! Okay, that’s it!”

The two drunken ponies were too busy arguing to hear a small whistling sound as two green-brown spherical objects whizzed towards them. The two objects hit their mark and exploded into a foul smelling mess.

Perception Filter whipped his head around, trying to find the source of the rotten cabbage that was now covering him and O’tipsey. He heard laughing coming from somewhere off behind a few bushes and trees. Quickly—as quickly as a drunk pony could—the pegasus rushed to find the culprit. When he pulled back a particularly large bush and saw a white earth pony filly, probably no more than a teenager, with a green mane laughing her flank off. He scrunched up his face.

“Excuse me?” he asked, now aware of how much his voice was slurring. The pony stopped rocking back and forth on the ground and slowly picked herself up, wiping tears from her eyes, still laughing gently.

“Y-yeah? What is is mister?” she asked. Her voice was high and squeaky. He blushed a little and started to stumble over his words.

“W-well, I was in the neighborhood, and I mean, I was at a bar, and I was going home and the uhm...” he was thankfully stopped when he had to bend over to vomit again.

“Ewww! Yech!” the white pony said, backing away as he puked all over the freshly mowed grass. Only a few seconds later, O’tipsey came blundering through the bush, shouting, “Percy?! Percy where are you? Celestia, it’s so fucking dark here.”

Perception Filter had by now recovered from his little vomiting session and turned up to O’tipsey. “Go away, or I shall taunt you again! She’s MINE!”

“What?” the white pony asked again.

“Don’t worry m’lady, I shall protect you!” he said, jumping in front of the confused mare, trying to make a threatening face at O’tipsey, but just ended up scrunching his face oddly.

“Yeah, you’ve had way too much to drink buddy,” the white pony said again, pushing him out of the way, and he fell to the ground, and started struggling to get back up. The white pony looked at O’tipsey and held out her hoof.

“I’m White Lily!” she said cheerfully, and O’tipsey shook it.

“I’m O’tipsey. Sorry about Percy there—”

“MY NAME’S NOT PERCY!” Perception Filter shouted angrily, still on his back, waving his legs around, failing to get up.

“He can’t really handle his alcohol,” he chuckled as he watched his new friend try to get up.

“Oh, it’s really no problem!” she said happily, giggling. “Guys really like me when they’re drunk for some reason.”

“I can’t imagine why,” Perception Filter mumbled under his breath, and went back to squirming.

White Lily giggled again, and turned back to O’tipsey. “So, what are you two doing out here in the dark, spoooooky, park?”

“I was taking Percy to his hotel. He’s just contracted me for an expedition into the Everfree.” Perception Filter shot him a dirty look, and managed to flip over on his stomach, and was now trying to straighten his legs.

“Ooohh! That sounds fun! Can I come?” White Lily asked, jumping a little.

“No!” Perception Filter said, as he managed to finally stand up. “No, no, no!”

“Why not?” the white mare whined, giving him her best puppy dog eyes.

“There is no room for children on this expedition! None at all.”

“Awww, plllleeaasseee?” She stretched out her lower lip and widened her eyes, and started tearing up. This would have torn most any pony up inside, but Perception Filter just happened to be mind-shatteringly drunk.

“No! End of discussion!” As if to put a period to his point, he passed out and started snoring on the grass.

“So,” O’tipsey said, “It was nice to meet you, but I have to get my boss to his hotel.”

“Are you sure I can’t come?” White Lily asked, kicking a nearby rock.

“Yeah, sorry, but the boss has the final call... Say, why are you here anyways?”

“What, in the park?” O’tipsey nodded. “Oh, I like it here. I really like plants and they like me.”

“Well then, that’s that,” O’tipsey said, bending over and hauling Perception Filter onto his back. “See you later, maybe.”

White Lily gave a half-hearted “bye”, and trudged off.

Author's Note

I apologize to those I had to cut out of the story. Please don't hate me. It was just too hard.