Chapter 1: The Journey
(I apologize if it’s a little boring, I kind of don’t have a lot I can do with like, two main characters in one chapter)
We agreed that Twilight and I would take the T-7 while the others would take a flight because it save money and I wanted to talk to Twilight.
Rick couldn’t afford a flight for five even though he patented the first Portal Gun and marketed it successfully while I was out.
So Rick and the others boarded their flight while I got the tub ready. We got some weird looks but you know, France. Anyway it would take us about twenty minutes longer to arrive at MBS in Freeland because it takes longer to get from point A to point B on the quiet engine.
So we took off and were quiet for about two minutes before Twilight finally spoke up.
“So how was Rainbow?” She asked, looking at me.
“She wasn’t good” I said “If I was any later she would’ve tried to fly through the Earth to Coltna”
“But that’s suicide!” She exclaimed, then something in her head clicked “Oh my god! Did you stop her?” She asked fearfully.
“Yeah, she’s getting help now, from the best in Canterlot” I replied.
That seemed to calm down Twilight a little because she nodded, as if lost in thought. Then she came back to reality and scooched on the seat to sit closer to me.
“You know, you should’ve earned something for that” She whispered in my ear.
“Why? And why are you whispering?” I asked, looking at her.
“Well, you did save somepony’s life, I think that deserves some sort of reward” she said.
“Frankly, I think the best reward I could’ve gotten was the few days I got to spend with my parents.” I replied. I was officially calling Luna my second parent, even though she was my aunt.
Oh. How are they anyway?” She asked.
“Good. They look a lot older now, though” I said, remembering how fatigued they looked when I first saw them again.
“Oh.” Twilight said, looking away.
“Is something wrong?” I asked, putting my hand on her shoulder.
“No, i’m just... thinking” she said, hesitating before saying “thinking”
“Twi, i’m not stupid, what’s on your mind?” I asked
“I don’t know, I can’t think straight right now.” She said.
I pulled her into a hug and closed my eyes. I realized she was shivering and thought about our altitude.
“You’re cold aren’t you?” I asked, even though I knew the answer.
“I’m freezing” she replied, rubbing her arms for warmth.
I just smiled and pressed the button that Rick installed to close the canopy and I turned on the heat slightly.
“That’s why I love you Alex, you’re so caring.” She said kissing me on the cheek.
“Thanks, I pride myself on not falling to the level of the Spanish Inquisition” I said.
Twilight looked at me confused.
“Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition” I said laughing at my reference.
“Ok then...” Twilight said “anyway did you see anyone of interest during your short stay in Canterlot?” She asked trying to get back on topic.
“Oh yeah. I saw Derpy, the Princesses and the aptly named Sir-Not-Appearing-in-This-Fanfic” I replied sarcastically. “Oh I also saw a dead parrot”
“I sometimes wonder why I even talk to you” she said, shaking her head.
“You clearly haven’t seen Monty Python, have you?” I asked.
“What’s Monty Python?” she asked me.
“That’s it, as soon as we get home, i’m showing you Monty Python and the Holy Grail” I said.
She just chuckled and shook her head and enjoyed the rest of the trip.
..
I sat on the plane, incredibly bored, watching some retarded documentary on plants or something like that when I got a text.
It was from a friend in Bay city. I looked at it and they wondered why I didn’t just portal home. Because then we wouldn’t have a plot to follow.
However down below there was something that none of us would've thought possible.
..
I knew something was wrong with the tub as soon as I felt it begin to drop.
“Twilight,hold on, something just happened to the electronics, I need to start it manually” Then I thought about it. “Nevermind, brace for impact”
“What happened?!” she asked, frightened as hell.
“Well, we appear to have been hit by an EMP projectile and now I can’t start the engine. Thank God Opp fitted this damn with really powerful shock absorbers on the bottom.” I replied.
“Great, I survive a Civil War and die in a fucking tub crash” Twilight said, sitting down dramatically.
I just facepalmed because she clearly didn’t hear me. “We’ll be fine” I said.
Just then we hit the ground, but were all right.
“See? Nothing to be worried about” I said. I then looked around. “Oh”
We were surrounded by about twenty armed soldiers, many of whom were clearly rebels, but a few others weren’t.
“You didn’t tell me everything that happened while I was out, did you?” I asked Twilight, putting my hands up.
“Okay so MAYBE Opp came here and led a minorly successful uprising while you were out, nothing too major.” She replied also putting her hands up.
“Not to major huh?” I asked as the man of the hour strolled up.
“Well speak of the devil” I said.
..
Something didn’t seem right. I tried calling Alex on his comm, then his phone, no answer.
“Guys, something isn’t right, Alex isn’t talking to me” I said “Neither is Twilight” said Rarity.
Okay, something is definitely not good. The problem was that we couldn’t exactly help them at this moment. Just then the captain came on and said we were flying through dangerous airspace so we should hang tight.
I somehow forgot about the civil war we were fighting here now too, not the smartest move i’ve probably made. Oh well.
...
After about ten minutes we were free of the enemy airspace and were about twenty minutes from our destination when the news that was playing on my personal TV caught my attention.
It showed a bathtub just sitting in an Ohio field, the reporter was saying something about rebel activity in the area.
“Guys, I think I found out what happened to our friends” I said before turning off the TV and began preparing for final approach.
Chapter 2: Stuff Gets Real. Again.
Chapter 2: Stuff Gets Real. Again.
I awoke in a strange cell-like room with a singular window. I’m not sure how long I was out, or how I got knocked out for that matter, I just knew that something bad was most likely going to happen.
I looked around now that I was fully consciousand realized that I was in a bad spot.
First off: there were seven guards by the door, all were armed with some form of firearm and/or melee weapon. The second problem: Twilight was gone.
Then a third problem arose. That problem was Robert Oppenheimer, not to be mistaken with the dead one, they are of no relation.
He walked past the seven armed guards and began making more ambiguous Portal references, except that I knew all of them.
“Well, here we are again” he said “it’s always such a pleasure, remember when you tried to kill me? Twice?” He asked. I first realized that he hadn’t brushed his teeth and second that he seemed to be going crazy.
“Yes I remember, now will you stop dropping the Portal references?” I asked politely.
“Oh very well” He said turning and walking about four feet. “Have I ever told you the definition of insanity?” He asked.
“Oh God, here we go” I muttered, knowing where this is going.
“Insanity is doing the same fucking thing over and over, and expecting shit to change.” He said. I just sighed.
“How’d you even learn about Far Cry 3?” I asked “TM by the way, don’t want to get sued, do I?”
“I have been here a while, I have the internet” Opp replied. “Oh to hell with it, just push him into shark infested water.”
As he said that a pit opened up from the floor and, you’ll never guess what was in it, Go on, guess. That’s right, sharks!
“Oooh, i’m so scared” I said, then I looked at the skeleton hanging next to me “foo, he is good, he is good”
Opp was pretty pissed off now. “Look, just shut the FUCK UP!” He shouted at the end.
“Look, i’m just saying this is pretty unoriginal, I mean except for the real skeleton, that’s pretty original, but still, why not, you know, Manta Rays or something?” I asked.
“FUCK! YOU!” He shouted, pulling out a gun from his pocket and shooting next to my head. Yep, he’s a loon.
“You see, that’s your problem. You always talk, but never take action” I say “That has inadvertently given me time to repatch a link to my friends who now know my exact location”
Opp just looked at me with wide eyes, shouted something in French, and pointed his gun at me again. That’s when the sound of helicopter blades drew his attention away from me.
“Adios. Mother Fu-” I started to shout, only to be overshadowed by the sound of an explosion from the other side of the facility.
Opp was knocked off balance from the explosion, giving me time to readjust myself and get ready to kick him into his shark pit.
Or I would have, except there was an explosion, some smoke, and i’m a little fuzzy after that. Not the point, anyway he got away.
“What happened?” I asked after being let down from my position “and where did Loony Toon go?”
“Well to answer your first question we saved your ass and for the second, we have no fucking clue” Rick said unlatching my handcuff things.
“Lovely. Hey, where’s Twilight?” I asked, looking around.
“Shit, we gotta find her” Rick said “come on, fan out and look.
And so that is how 5 teenagers were going through a really dangerous facility that we realized could be a very, very good FOB (forward operating base) In case we were attacked.
I finally found Twilight, but she was unconscious and bleeding from her left arm.
I quickly patched up the wound with some handy dandy gauze wrap I found in a conveniently placed first aid kit.
Now, i’m sure that the first aid box could’ve been a trap but you know, without any form of magic to check, it would be rather difficult to figure out if it was.
I waited with her until the others found us. Granted I didn’t let them wander the halls by themselves, I told them where we were, I just needed some time to think.
I thought about all the things that had happened over the past few months, even though I was knocked out in a comatose state, many would think I was dreaming it all, but I knew it was true.
Finally the others arrived and we left to find our way home.
I picked up Twilight and we found our way home. She woke up on our way out, and I was pretty glad because she was rather heavy.
I barely talked the whole way. It turns out that we were in Ohio and we didn’t really have far to walk until we found a town, so I really didn’t get that much time to think.
We managed to find a Greyhound to take us rather close to Bay City (Saginaw, which didn’t really make Rick or I relax) and we took it and waited for our 10 hour ride to finish.
Then I remembered something I forgot, funny huh? Who would’ve thought I would remember something I forgot.
“I need to grab the T-7” I said like halfway through our ride.
“You remember this 2 hours into our drive?” Twilight asks, rather annoyed.
“I have short-term memory loss, cut me some slack. Besides, it’s nothing major, I’ll see you back in the good ol’ BC” I say before firing a portal.
Apparently it sounded like a good idea because Rick followed me.
“Why did you follow me?” I asked him when I heard a noise behind me and turned around.
“I don’t know, I was bored, I want to talk to my best friend” He replied.
“Oh stop it you” I said, but we just traversed the ten or so yards to the tub, which for whatever reason hadn’t been picked up. Ohio, I tell you, always so slow.*
“Okay, let’s check it out.” I said looking at all the damage, which was little to none, thank God for shock absorbers.
“Look’s good” I said, hopping in. Rick followed suit, taking control.
We took off and began our much, much faster flight to Bay City.
“Hey Rick, how fast does this thing go?” I asked, considering I was in front and couldn’t really see the control panel.
“Um well, there’s a Light Speed, and there is a Ludicrous Speed” He replied.
“Right set it to Ludicrous speed” I said, feeling rebellious.
“Um, I don’t think that is a very good idea” Rick said, worried, still he buckled up. “If you insist though, you should probably buckle up”
“Whatever hit it” I said. Worst. Decision. Ever.
He hit it and immediately was holding the seat for dear life as we sped up. Rick was shaking in his seat.
“I can feel my brain moving into my feet” I said as we blasted forward.
“Turn it off!” I shouted again.
Rick obliged. Let’s just say after that experience I will never doubt Sir Isaac Newton ever again.
I slammed my face into the plastic plexiglass stuff so hard I may have suffered a concussion.
“Okay, five minute break, smokes if you got them” I said after I stood up, only to fall right back down.
“My friends are so stupid” Rick muttered as he got up to pick me up.
...
Well we were going pretty fast because we passed a jet and one of the passengers looked out his window and thought “Oh great, someones gone plaid”
Yeah, it was intense, awesome, but intense.
*I’m sorry if you’re from Ohio and were offended, I’m from Michigan so I’m contractually obligated to rip on you guys.
