For History!

Chapter 2: Stuff Gets Real. Again.

I awoke in a strange cell-like room with a singular window. I’m not sure how long I was out, or how I got knocked out for that matter, I just knew that something bad was most likely going to happen.

I looked around now that I was fully consciousand realized that I was in a bad spot.

First off: there were seven guards by the door, all were armed with some form of firearm and/or melee weapon. The second problem: Twilight was gone.

Then a third problem arose. That problem was Robert Oppenheimer, not to be mistaken with the dead one, they are of no relation.

He walked past the seven armed guards and began making more ambiguous Portal references, except that I knew all of them.

“Well, here we are again” he said “it’s always such a pleasure, remember when you tried to kill me? Twice?” He asked. I first realized that he hadn’t brushed his teeth and second that he seemed to be going crazy.

“Yes I remember, now will you stop dropping the Portal references?” I asked politely.

“Oh very well” He said turning and walking about four feet. “Have I ever told you the definition of insanity?” He asked.

“Oh God, here we go” I muttered, knowing where this is going.

“Insanity is doing the same fucking thing over and over, and expecting shit to change.” He said. I just sighed.

“How’d you even learn about Far Cry 3?” I asked “TM by the way, don’t want to get sued, do I?”

“I have been here a while, I have the internet” Opp replied. “Oh to hell with it, just push him into shark infested water.”

As he said that a pit opened up from the floor and, you’ll never guess what was in it, Go on, guess. That’s right, sharks!

“Oooh, i’m so scared” I said, then I looked at the skeleton hanging next to me “foo, he is good, he is good”

Opp was pretty pissed off now. “Look, just shut the FUCK UP!” He shouted at the end.

“Look, i’m just saying this is pretty unoriginal, I mean except for the real skeleton, that’s pretty original, but still, why not, you know, Manta Rays or something?” I asked.

“FUCK! YOU!” He shouted, pulling out a gun from his pocket and shooting next to my head. Yep, he’s a loon.

“You see, that’s your problem. You always talk, but never take action” I say “That has inadvertently given me time to repatch a link to my friends who now know my exact location”

Opp just looked at me with wide eyes, shouted something in French, and pointed his gun at me again. That’s when the sound of helicopter blades drew his attention away from me.

“Adios. Mother Fu-” I started to shout, only to be overshadowed by the sound of an explosion from the other side of the facility.

Opp was knocked off balance from the explosion, giving me time to readjust myself and get ready to kick him into his shark pit.

Or I would have, except there was an explosion, some smoke, and i’m a little fuzzy after that. Not the point, anyway he got away.

“What happened?” I asked after being let down from my position “and where did Loony Toon go?”

“Well to answer your first question we saved your ass and for the second, we have no fucking clue” Rick said unlatching my handcuff things.

“Lovely. Hey, where’s Twilight?” I asked, looking around.

“Shit, we gotta find her” Rick said “come on, fan out and look.

And so that is how 5 teenagers were going through a really dangerous facility that we realized could be a very, very good FOB (forward operating base) In case we were attacked.

I finally found Twilight, but she was unconscious and bleeding from her left arm.

I quickly patched up the wound with some handy dandy gauze wrap I found in a conveniently placed first aid kit.

Now, i’m sure that the first aid box could’ve been a trap but you know, without any form of magic to check, it would be rather difficult to figure out if it was.

I waited with her until the others found us. Granted I didn’t let them wander the halls by themselves, I told them where we were, I just needed some time to think.

I thought about all the things that had happened over the past few months, even though I was knocked out in a comatose state, many would think I was dreaming it all, but I knew it was true.

Finally the others arrived and we left to find our way home.

I picked up Twilight and we found our way home. She woke up on our way out, and I was pretty glad because she was rather heavy.

I barely talked the whole way. It turns out that we were in Ohio and we didn’t really have far to walk until we found a town, so I really didn’t get that much time to think.

We managed to find a Greyhound to take us rather close to Bay City (Saginaw, which didn’t really make Rick or I relax) and we took it and waited for our 10 hour ride to finish.

Then I remembered something I forgot, funny huh? Who would’ve thought I would remember something I forgot.

“I need to grab the T-7” I said like halfway through our ride.

“You remember this 2 hours into our drive?” Twilight asks, rather annoyed.

“I have short-term memory loss, cut me some slack. Besides, it’s nothing major, I’ll see you back in the good ol’ BC” I say before firing a portal.

Apparently it sounded like a good idea because Rick followed me.

“Why did you follow me?” I asked him when I heard a noise behind me and turned around.

“I don’t know, I was bored, I want to talk to my best friend” He replied.

“Oh stop it you” I said, but we just traversed the ten or so yards to the tub, which for whatever reason hadn’t been picked up. Ohio, I tell you, always so slow.*

“Okay, let’s check it out.” I said looking at all the damage, which was little to none, thank God for shock absorbers.

“Look’s good” I said, hopping in. Rick followed suit, taking control.

We took off and began our much, much faster flight to Bay City.

“Hey Rick, how fast does this thing go?” I asked, considering I was in front and couldn’t really see the control panel.

“Um well, there’s a Light Speed, and there is a Ludicrous Speed” He replied.

“Right set it to Ludicrous speed” I said, feeling rebellious.

 “Um, I don’t think that is a very good idea” Rick said, worried, still he buckled up. “If you insist though, you should probably buckle up”

“Whatever hit it” I said. Worst. Decision. Ever.

He hit it and immediately was holding the seat for dear life as we sped up. Rick was shaking in his seat.

“I can feel my brain moving into my feet” I said as we blasted forward.

“Turn it off!” I shouted again.

Rick obliged. Let’s just say after that experience I will never doubt Sir Isaac Newton ever again.

I slammed my face into the plastic plexiglass stuff so hard I may have suffered a concussion.

“Okay, five minute break, smokes if you got them” I said after I stood up, only to fall right back down.

“My friends are so stupid” Rick muttered as he got up to pick me up.

...

Well we were going pretty fast because we passed a jet and one of the passengers looked out his window and thought “Oh great, someones gone plaid”

Yeah, it was intense, awesome, but intense.

*I’m sorry if you’re from Ohio and were offended, I’m from Michigan so I’m contractually obligated to rip on you guys.