Hazardous Environment

by Lambdanitro

Rating: mature
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Gore, Crossover, Dark, Alternate Universe, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Adventure, Sex
Length: 17623

Time changes ponies. So does Equestrian Military. So do four years away from the ones you love. So does the hostile army on your doorstep, threatening to destroy your homeworld and kill everyone. But things are never THAT easy, are they?

What would you do if your hometown was attacked and enslaved by an unknown alien race and your friends were either dead or about to die? Freak out? Run for your life? Fight?

Twilight Sparkle finds herself in this situation. Luckily, there are ponies, who can support her and give her strength she needs. There is one one problem, though. She betrayed them years ago and left them behind.

But that's just it, the silly little war with an alien race, nothing the battle-hardened ponies can't handle, right? As it turns out, not exactly. Join the Mane Six and other cast as they plunge into the heart of millenium-long conspiracy and fight forces even higher than the Princesses themselves.

Oh, and did I mention the alien invasion? This is gonna be fun! - T.S.

***

My Little Pony x Half-Life crossover.

Proofread by Uber_Shy and Willow.

Please note, this is a rewrite of an old one. The older version (which some of you have read earlier) will be available later.

Published 2013-01-15 12:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-10 11:51:26 UTC

Point Inception

Hazardous Environment

Chapter One
Point Inception

"Who are you?" Twilight asked.

A solid clatter of train car was especially loud in this otherwise complete silence.

"Where are we going?"

Nopony answered her again.

"What the hell is going on?!" she almost screamed in his blank white helmet with one glowing red eye. The armored stallion didn't even budge as she brought a hoof down on him.

"Ow..." she winced. Punching hard armor really hurt. But that was okay. Her training taught her to endure much worse. "You better start talking now, or I'll find the soft spot in that armor. Eventually."

"I have my orders. They don't include speaking to you. Shut up," he finally said. His voice was distorted by his mask. Probably a modulator or a vocoder. Must research more. Vinyl Scratch probably knows a lot about it. Will ask her later. Assuming I get out of this train, of course. Stop thinking like that.

"Yeah, yeah. Could you at least tell me who do you work for?" she almost begged.

"No. Shut up."

"Ugh! Fine! I'll find out myself, when I get the hell out of here!" She hit him in the chest. "You, sir, are impossible."

He just shrugged. "Shut up."

"Do you seriously think I was living with my brother and learned nothing from him? Oh, believe it, I can beat the words out of your mask. Do you know, who my brother is?"

He shrugged again and turned his attention towards a console on the wall. "Shut up."

She rose to her hindlegs and took a combat stance. "Last chance. Who are you? Where are we going? Who do you get your orders from?"

"Shut up."

"You asked for it."

She lunged towards him, drawing her left foreleg back for a quick hook, after which she... Hit the wall with her head. Hard.

"You annoy me. Try anything like that again and I will break all your legs. You're not gonna need them anyway," he said, dropping back to all four. She didn't even see him move.

"Ow..." After the initial shock passed, the back of her head started hurting badly, along with her ribcage, which the armored stallion had apparently hit. Her vision went a few shades darker for a moment. She attempted a minor healing magic, but an uncomfortable metallic device on her horn didn't let her, so it only ended in a violent fit of headache.

There's no use in a mistake you learn nothing from. So the unicorn decided to make the most of it and compose a little list of facts.

Fact 1: I've been kidnapped and am being transported to an unknown location on a train.

Fact 2: I can't use magic with this thing on my horn.

Fact 3: My captors recieve orders from someone else.

Fact 4: I could count four of them earlier, but there's only one guarding me at the moment.

Fact 5: Judging by what I've seen, he's superior to others, who have dark blue gear with two cyan eyes. My guard is clad in white armor with one red eye. Oh, and he's an asshole too.

Fact 6: Taking Facts 3 and 5 into consideration, the hostile party has army-like structure.

Fact 7: They can also fight. Really good. Almost too good for equines... Hm, this needs further research.

Fact 8: I'm not gonna need my legs. That implies something bad happening to me in near future.

Fact 9: All things considered, I'm screwed.

She felt a little more upset than five minutes ago. Unlike killing feral changelings, burning Poison Joke and dueling with Shining Armor's subordinates, this wasn't fun at all (although burning Poison Joke was a different kind of fun). But there was nothing she could do, so she decided to stay put and wait for an opportunity.

Forty minutes later, which Twilight thought were three hours, the opportunity hasn't presented itself yet, so the mare grew restless.

"Are we there yet?" she whined. "Just kill me and let's get this over with! Is that too much to ask?"

"Shut up." The soldier sighed. He's been working on a console all this time, so it must've been something important.

She crept towards it and took a closer look. The main color scheme was dark grey and cyan, the buttons and words were in an unknown language, and the console overall looked much more technologically advanced, than anything Equestria had. Even more advanced than--

CRASH!

An explosion derailed Twilight's trail of thought, along with the train she was a passenger of. It went down loudly and the mare was sent tumbling along with her guard. Even then her mind was racing to find the best use for this opportunity. Yay, finally!

Gravity had other plans.

BONK!

Ow...

"...So then its head explodes! Just like that, I and she are totally, you know, in this green crap or something..." She paused to take a swig from her beer bottle. "And then she says: 'Twilight! The point of this lesson was to dispatch it nicely and painlessly!' And I'm all like: 'Well, are you hurt? No? Me neither! So that was a success, right?' But then..." She gulped down more beer. "Then she says the dumbest thing I've ever heard from a Princess. 'Feral changelings can feel.' Can you believe it?"

The Royal Guards roared with laughter.

"I mean really, they're insects! What the hell, Luna!?" She looked at a changeling reading a quantum physics book in the corner. "No offense, Screechy, I know you can feel."

"This one doubts it, but thank you anyway," he rasped, giving her the warmest look possible with his deep glowing cyan eyes. "This one does not consider itself bonded with feral hive dwellers either."

"Hey, Screechy!" one of the Guards shouted. "Are you hiding those porn mags behind physics again?"

"No."

"He totally is!" Another one laughed.

"This one does not feel good about what it's about to say..." After a green flash there was a Royal Guard reading a quantum physics book. "Fuck you, Skipper! At least I don't like dicks up my butt, like you do!"

Another burst of laughter. Skipper's face went red, but he was giggling too.

"TWILIGHT!" came a very angry Royal Canterlot Shout from the barrack's doorway. A mad pink alicorn was standing there, puffing steam from her nostrils. "Can't I leave you alone for a day?! What is it, drinking again? Where's Skyla?!"

"I left her with Celistia..." Twilight answered.

"You WHAT!?"

"She was happy to spend time with her, I swear! She needed a day off!"

"And you only needed an excuse to get wasted again! Someday, Shining Armor is going to die by my hooves for giving you a whiskey bottle that one time!"

"What?! I'm not even drunk!.. Yet."

"That's it, you and your dumb brother are in serious trouble!" Twilight felt a violent magical tug at her ear. In a few seconds she slid out of the barrack with as much pain as possible.

"But Ca-a-ade-e-ence!" she whined all the way towards the exit.

"Butts are for sitting! You're grounded for life, effective immediately!" Princess snapped and turned towards the Guards, who were staring with their mouths open. "And you, gentlemen, forgive me for interrupting your totally-not-breaking-any-rules party. Enjoy your ten proof lemonade." She smiled and closed the door.

An uneasy silence shrouded the room.

"Were we just drinking... With Cap's sister?"

"She's probably dead."

"No, she's not. Keep looking."

"What's with the Combine?"

"Fire at will. Loot every corpse. Leave the crates if you can't open them, we haven't come for them."

Twilight's head was probably crushed and thoroughly mashed. On a second thought, that would have lead to death. That sounds cliche, but dead ponies don't feel pain. Probably just a concussion, but a severe one. Add a few broken bones. No, wait, probably not...

"There you are!" She heard a voice above her and felt several pairs of hooves digging her out of train car parts. "Holy shit, we need a medpack! Busted skull!"

A-ha! I knew it! Ow, ow, ow-ow-ow! The voice was oddly familiar. Twilight struggled to remember, who it belonged to, but ow, ow, ow, my head hurts so much!

"The Combine!"

"He's dead, Derpy. Search him."

There was a brief sound of rustling. "No, nothing."

Derpy? This must mean...

OOOWWW!

"Medpack applied." Through my hoof! Oh, damn it, why does it hurt so... Wait, it doesn't.

"Twi, you dead?" She felt a gentle slap across the face. "Wake up, we gotta run!" The slapping became stronger. "Rise and fucking shine or Luna will spank you!"

"I'd like that right now... Ow," Twilight finally managed an answer. The fog in her head was slowly cleaning up so she carefully opened one eye. Streaks of rainbow hair hung from above her.

"Rainbow... Rainbow Dash?" she gasped weakly.

"Surprised? Must've forgotten us girls, huh?" Dash struck a pose. "But here I come to rescue you from a train that I have crashed so heroically." She went down to the ground. "Well, in fact, I did almost nothing beside shouting orders. Props go to the folks here."

"Humble Rainbow Dash... Am I really alive?" Twilight smiled and opened her second eye.

"Not for long. Now get your ass up and let's go!" Dash kicked her in the aching ribs, causing her to bolt up. "Me and Pinkie are going to kill you. Slowly."

"Can I go back to where I was headed?"

"No."

"Shit."

"Woah, you've gotten quite a tongue while you were away. Any more surprises?" Rainbow helped her up.

Twilight looked at the group. Rainbow Dash was something like a leader, with edgy metal harness around her wings and some sort of a camo combat vest on her. She also had scorched radio headphones around her neck and a heavy hoofgun boot around her right forehoof. The rest of the party Twilight didn't remember, except for Derpy Hooves, the Ponyville mailmare, dressed in a different, grey combat vest with bloodstains on it. She also had her wings restrained.

"Yeah, one more surprise. I think I can kick your ass senseless," the lavender mare said.

"Don't get too cocky, I have a gun."

"Okay... Oh, by the way, permission to freak out?"

"Denied. Don't panic or I'll shoot you."

"Gee, you're so kind."

"I ain't Fluttershy, the hell did you expect?"

"Some homegirl love? I don't know, a hug would be nice."

"I can hug you!" Derpy grinned ear to ear and immediately pulled Twilight into a bear embrace.

"Well... Thanks, Derpy!" Twilight smiled a little too, rubbing her ribcage.

"All right, homegirl lovers, now we should really move out. Twi, I'll explain the basic stuff when we get to Station Sixteen to catch a breath."

"Station Sixteen?"

"Well, more like a Shithole Sixteen, but whatever. Move it. All of you!" Dash looked at the squad. "The Combine are gonna be here any minute now. And they sure as hell are gonna be pissed!"

And she lead the way through the rubble. Wait, the rubble?!

Twilight's head began rotating furiously to let her eyes register all her surroundings. By the looks of it, she was crossing a war-torn land! Once cheerfully painted houses lay in ruins, debris formed two almost perfect walls from both sides of the group and the cloudy sky was pierced by a huge gleaming tower, rising from somewhere not so far away. It loomed over Twilight and she suddenly knew it wasn't an ordinary skyscraper, but rather something extremely terrifying.

"What are you slowing down for?! Let's see how much jogging you did back in Canterlot!" Rainbow Dash yelled, and Twilight quickened her pace.

"What the hell happened here?" Twilight asked shakily, catching up with the pegasus.

"If I told you now, you'd faint, so shut up and keep going!"

"Tired?" Dash plopped down on a mattress and laughed.

"A little," Twilight said and sat down beside her, panting quietly.

"Honestly," Dash looked at her with serious eyes. "I thought I'd have to carry you half the way. Was that some sort of your fancy books about running?"

"Both them and the Canterlot Military, I think. Though the training was a little more useful in that case."

"No shit?" the rainbow pony asked. "Military training? You?"

"No shit. Military training. Me."

"Why? Last I remember, you were a goody-four-horseshoes kinda girl. What has changed?"

"Everything, I suppose." Twilight said after a little pause. "It's been more than four years. Ponies change."

"Yeah, I know. It's just... Weird. Take Derpy Hooves. Do you know what she said after Ponyville was captured? 'I just don't know what went wrong!' Some ponies never change." Dash tore a flask from her vest and took a sip. "And then there's you. Who used to be an adorable little nerd and a sexy librarian I used to have a crush on..."

"Wait, what?"

"...And then she just goes away forever just to be kidnapped by the Combine and then kidnapped from them by us. And, whoa, she turns out to have some military training under her belt and she claims to be able to whoop my ass in a fight. My ass! Rainbow The Unbeaten Dash's ass! All that plus talking dirty and smelling like a heavy drinker." She snorted. "Your 'radical' level just went up and your rad-ness is now level two. Don't get too happy about it."

"I won't." The unicorn promised and diverted her attention to observing her surroundings.

Shithole Sixteen wasn't such a bad place after all. It was a shack in canals' outskirts, where the soil was moist and the air was filled with the noise of water. There was even a campfire nearby, under a thin metallic roof. Inside the shack there was an unplugged TV set, a well-littered table, a couch, a bookshelf with no books and a few mattresses, one of which was occupied by the squad leader. Well, I had to stay in much less welcoming barracks, when I was up north... Hit the brakes, now.

"All right, I feel like I gotta fill you in. We'll be here for a little time, so might as well tell you something, right?" Dash offered her friend the flask. Despite Twilight's expectations, it was just warm water. "I'll be blunt. I believe Celestia's been keeping you in the dark all this time."

"I wouldn't say that..."

"She has. Trust me, she knows about all this crap. We get fresh shipments of Royal Guards every once in a while. Most of them get killed instantly, but some make it to the town and we put them to a good use. You can meet some familiar soldiers if you look carefully."

"But why?"

"Hell if I know. Maybe this shit started happening even before you left. Milky Way, you know, the famous Trottingham Milkmare, arrived two hours before the Combine to warn us, just a few months after you left. It was too late, though..."

"Who are they?" Twilight lay down on a dirty floor, relaxing all her aching muscles.

"Bad guys. We don't really know, who they are. Better ask some changeling. Frankly, I don't understand any of 'this one does bla-bla-bla' shit they're saying. Anyway, they have some history with the Combine, if I understand it correctly. See, the Combine decided to waltz in here and borrow our stuff. The problem is they think they're superior, so they don't ask nicely. Oh, and the second problem is that they consider ponies 'stuff' too." Dash shrugged. "Dunno, they try to assimilate everyone and keep them as soldiers, or something. That's how the Overwatch works."

"The Overwatch?"

"An Equestrian branch of Combine. Don't know the details, but I can tell you many things about tactics and such, been fighting them a lot, you see."

"That might be useful. Where did they come from? Another part of Equus or what?"

"No idea. If they'd been here all the time, why did we only hear from them now? But even that's more likely than if they were, like, aliens, or something," Dash said and shrugged again. "Maybe they are, I ain't been exactly researching them. Pinks probably have, though, pester her about it, if you dare. My job here is pretty simple, you know."

"And what do you do?"

"I shoot. A lot."

"I see. Will I get a gun sometime soon?"

"If you're a good little filly, who behaves herself and doesn't die in the first few hours, I might have a little something for you."

"Oh, har-har. Please, mom, don't give me the birds and the bees talk, okay?"

"Ow, baby, lookie who's got snarky! Remember the time when you'd giggle and suck it up?"

"Long since forgotten."

"Great." Dash smiled a little. "Oh, and about the birds and the bees... Well, you know where the babies come from, right?"

"Don't make me kick you."

"Right, so, this huge-ass tower there? It's called Citadel, by the way. So! This huge-ass tower has us under a huge-ass dome or something, where we can't reproduce."

"What?"

"Exactly!"

"But it's so..."

"Awesome, right?"

"Awe... What?!" Twilight snapped. "Dash, it's horrible! What kind of black magic is that?"

"No, it's really awesome! You can rut all you want and you won't get pregnant at all! I ain't even had my period in, like, a few years! This is fucking awesome, Twi!" Dash winked. "I know you think so!"

"D... D... Pff... Ah..." The unicorn couldn't find any words for a few seconds. Finally, she felt a spark of inspiration. "Fuck! You! You immoral dirty cunt-headed whorse!"

"Well thank you kindly! That's exactly what I wanted to hear!"

"Dash! It's horrible! The Combine aim to kill us as species! Believe me, I've studied history enough." Twilight spat. "And all you think about is easy sex!"

"No, I think about guns too!"

"Do you have any dignity left!?" She pushed the pegasus' armored chest.

"Do you!?" She pushed back, hard. "You probably had a thousand dicks when you've been in the army! What else have you done?"

What else have you done?

Twilight felt her heart sinking and her angered expression leaving her face.

What have you done?!

"I'm... I'm..." she whispered.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. Let's just drop it."

"But..." Dash was clearly surprised by this sudden change of disposition.

"Drop it."

"Well." Dash moved closer to the unicorn. "Now I see something's up."

"How observant of you. Thanks," she grumbled under her breath. "Thank you very fucking much."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Hell no."

"Suit yourself. Ain't one-time offer anyway."

"Thanks... I guess."

"You're welcome... I guess."

There was a moment of silence between the two. Surprisinly enough, all the other ponies from Rainbow's party were so absorbed in themselves they haven't paid the two any attention. Or they seemed like they haven't while they've been hanging on their every word. Who knows?

"Could you please tell me one thing?" Twilight broke the not-really-silence.

"M-m?"

"Why do you hate me?"

"Well... Where do I start?"

"You're the Element of Loyalty. You've stuck for your friends. Always."

"You betrayed me. Everyone betrayed me, except AJ and Pinkie! But you..." Dash was heating up from inside as she spoke. "You, Twi, was the first. You went away like that and disappeared forever! When we've been fighting for our sorry asses, where have you been? Reading your precious books? Rutting in the barracks?.."

"Hey, Skipper?" Twilight asked, sipping a beer and carefully listening to The Flow of magic.

"Yes?" He asked, not turning his eyes from the North Border.

"What it's like, you know, having a dick in your butt?"

He chuckled. "Why?"

"Just curious. Wanted to try anal sometime," she answered and took another little sip.

"Who's the lucky colt?" He pouted. "Introduce us sometime, eh? Well, the first time you do it, it's gonna be really bad. I mean, a huge hot shaft in your tight asshole. Nasty!" He flinched. "But then it's all like..."

KA-BOOM!

Twilight's face was sprayed with warm blood. Half the boulder they've been standing on was blown up. So has been half the Skipper. Another half of him was still in the air, raining down on her and her surroundings. She fell to the ground. Many other explosions rang at the same time, deafening her.

Tick.

She couldn't see how the griffins fooled her. She had been listening to The Flow for many days. There is no way for them to hide from a talented sorceress.

And yet, there she was, sprawled on the hot rock, bleeding from numerous gashes and cuts she got after little stone fragments fired at her like a buckshot. That still was better than what happened to Skipper.

Tock.

She saw a shadow crawling towards her. It was a big griffin male with a grenade in his talons. Probably, he was going to finish what the first explosion didn't. Twilight couldn't remember any useful spells, though she learned plenty. She couldn't remember how to fire her rifle, though she still had it in her magical grasp.

Instead, she remembered many, many beers she and Skipper drank during their mission. She remembered his lively smiles and his masterful flirting with other stallions. She remembered her friend and brother in arms.

Tick.

And the spell she needed came to her itself.

Tock.

Every cell in griffin's body exploded.

Her vision was blurred. She could feel wasp stings in her eyes. Charcoal tears were streaming down her cheeks.

The boulder was way redder than it was supposed to be and so was Twilight. She had the blood of three on her coat. The only three colors she could see were black, white, and red.

Tick.

She committed taboo magic.

Tock.

And it felt damn good.

"...While we've been dying here! What can you say?" Dash pushed her with her chest. "'Oh, I'm so sorry, Dash, I've been chillin' in Canterlot while you've been captured and being tormented every fucking second! No hard feelings, okay?' Is that what you wanna say?"

"No," Twilight answered calmly. She was surprised by the flatness of her voice.

"Then what are you gonna say, huh?! What can you say, that will possibly redeem you in my eyes?!"

"Nothing. I admit it. I wish I've never left," the unicorn said monotonously. She felt tears in her eyes. Must not cry now!

"But why did you leave anyway?" Dash asked, calming herself down. She's so fickle. One second she's mad at me and now she's concerned about my motivations.

"I don't know. Sunbutt told me she really misses me. So I took Spike and went. Then I started drinking and went to army. The rest is..." She struggled to find a word. "A little personal."

Dash sat silent.

"Princess Celestia would know if anything happened to Equestria." She finally reasoned. "She probably tried to keep you away from harm. I just think she could've at least told you. Or us. Or maybe, I don't know, everyone else?"

"I'm starting to think you doubt Sunbutt."

"I do. Don't you?"

"Fuck yeah I do."

"Wait, what's up with that name?" Rainbow arched an eyebrow. "I've never heard anypony talk about her like that."

"Well, maybe the army taught me more than just shooting. Maybe I've met a veteran, who proved she's not as wonderful as she seems." Twilight stomped her hoof daringly. "Maybe I'm not her faithful student anymore!"

"Damn it, you're full of surprises." Rainbow took a glance at her watch. "Oh goodness, just look at the time! I hope you've had enough rest, because we're moving out!"

"Wait, one more question!" Twilight said. She wanted to ask it ever since the medpack penetrated her hoof and healed her busted skull.

"Yeah?"

"How did you even find me?"

"Oh, this. You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Rainbow Dash grinned for no apparent reason.

"Spill it!"

"The Network tipped us off."

"Who?"

"That's more than one question! Now get up, we're fleeing!" She kicked the unicorn in the ribs. Again. Ow.

"Alright, squad! Dismissed! We're going to visit Pinkie and I doubt you wanna come with us," Dash said to her group. Half dozen ponies saluted and disappeared. The only noise Twilight could hear was a loud metallic 'bash' and 'whoops, my bad!', both seemingly made by one particular clumsy mare.

"Why does nobody want to see Pinkie Pie?" Twilight asked, as Dash came up to a dirty door in the sewers.

"Because she's not the Pinkie Pie you remember anymore," Dash answered, fishing a set of keys from some pocket on her vest. "You'll see soon enough. Just no sudden movements, okay? Lately she's been kinda... Nervous." The door creaked open and Dash led Twilight inside. "Oh, and one more thing. Never mention Gummy. Never. I warned you." The two entered a dimly lit corridor and Dash shut the only way back.

"What about..."

"Dash, is that you?!" Came a high-pitched yell from the other end of the corridor.

"Ugh, yes!" She yelled back.

"Go away then! I don't want no visitors today!" Pinkie shouted again. There was a poorly hidden malice in her voice.

"We've got a special one today! You're gonna love it!" Dash motioned Twilight to follow her. They trotted the empty and narrow passage. Twilight noticed that some walls were covered in old bloodstains and felt uneasy.

"We're coming! Are you decent?"

Twilight heard a faint sound of rustling from behind the corner. The unicorn shot her companion a questioning look and she nodded ominously.

"Yeah, I think. Come on, I'm curious. Do I get to kill somepony again?"

"Uh, no."

"Shit! Then why the hell should I even bother?"

Dash and Twilight took the turn. Dash smirked. Twilight's jaw almost hit the floor.

There was some kind of a bunker, stuffed with everything, from weapons to changeling shells. Some lights were off, so Twilight couldn't really see everything that was there, nor could she determine the actual size. But there was Pinkie in some kind of coveralls. Her mane was down and there was an eye patch on her left eye. But the most unnerving part was hatred in her right one.

Just don't say you haven't seen that look before.

"Well?" Dash said proudly.

Pinkie smiled. "Dashie... Sweetheart... Could you please step away?" Dash didn't even think to ask why. Looks like Pinkie is really as bad as she says... Huh. "I want to do something for our old friend! I haven't seen her in a while, after all."

"Oh, hi, Pinkie!" Twilight chuckled. "Phew, I thought you were gonna paint me as some kind of a villain too... He-he..."

But Pinkie didn't respond. She trotted to a table beside her and took a huge cleaver in her hoof. "I haven't seen you in a while, Twilight." The angry smile never left her features. "Say, how about a hug?"

"What?"

"I said... HUG ME, BITCH!" The pink mare suddenly shouted and pounced Twilight, swiftly swinging her knife at her.

Yay, Twilight! Welcome to Ponyville! Everypony's so glad to see you!

Fuck my life...

Author's Note

And there you have it! The brand-new old chapter! Have you been waiting for it? I sure have!

Please, meet my editor, who helped me out with this chapter! Willow the Pegasus is the name!

It begins. Again. Please, feel free to give me your feedback in the comment section below!

Fickle Pony Friends

HAZARDOUS ENVIRONMENT

Chapter 2
Fickle Pony Friends

Fact 1: I'm probably in Ponyville.

Fact 2: My friends are here.

Fact 3: They aren't happy to see me, for some reason.

Fact 4: They have changed dramatically. Well, I'm not surprised. They've been at war too. I swear, this bastard chases me wherever I go... Challenge accepted, War! Moving on.

Fact 5: Pinkie Pie is trying to kill me. She's really good. Almost too good for an equine. But hell, that's Pinkie we're talking about.

Fact 6: Celestia has been... Well, lying to me this whole time. Doesn't make this any easier.

Twilight blocked the knife and kicked it out of Pinkie's grasp. The pink mare only grinned wider and went hoof-to-hoof. Twilight cursed her restrained horn again and dodged the attack.

She can't be serious... How can I fight my best friend?

"Look alive!" Pinkie cried out with glee and bucked so swiftly it seemed like she teleported her hind leg in Twilight's face. "You're no fun!" The unicorn flew across the room and crash landed on a wooden chair. Meanwhile, Pinkie found her cleaver and rose up on her hindlegs.

If at first you don't succeed...

"Why do you want to kill me?" Twilight asked, spitting red on the floor. "Why do you hate me?"

"Oh, don't think you're special, or something!" Pinkie waved her hoof dismissively. "I hate everypony! Well, except my friends. I don't have a lot of those nowadays. Ironic, isn't it?"

"Why? Why are you like this?" Twilight poked her hoof around for some kind of a weapon.

"Why not? I've always been like this..." She dropped to her fours and trotted around. "Except when that annoying furball was in control!" She suddenly snapped and stomped.

"What do you mean?" Twilight squeezed a chair leg between her hoof and her fetlock joint.

...use some dirty tricks!

"Do you seriously think Surprise was my true iden-"

CRASH!

Twilight, in one fast motion, broke her 'club' against the back of Pinkie's head. She fell on the floor face first.

"Phew... What's up with her?" She asked, carefully touching her sore jaw. "And who's-"

"Surprise!" Pinkie yelled, jumping on Twilight with lively laughter.

She's laughing almost as if she's throwing another party for me. This is so fucked up!

They both landed on the floor, with Pinkie's hoof pressed against Twilight's windpipe. "Well, Twilight-Twilight-Twilight! Deceiving me, making me talk, and striking while I had my ass turned to you... Almost like how you did it four years ago!" I'm fucked, right? Well, Tartarus, here I come! "This was fun!" The pink mare smiled. Some of her teeth were missing. "Usually the ones Dashie takes here either run away or die too fast... You're tough and smart. Not in the way I remember you," her voice dropped to a whisper. "It's getting hard to remember..." She saw Twilight's face getting blue and freed her throat. "Oh, sorry. Wouldn't want you to die now. You're amusing. I'd like to keep you!"

Suck it, Tartarus.

"So, uhm..." Rainbow Dash cleared her throat. "Can we restock and stay here for a while? I've just busted her out of Razor Train and we both need a little rest."

"Ooh, Razor Train? What's the body count?" Pinkie asked with a friendly smile. That's right, a friendly smile. Towards Rainbow Dash. Jelly-jelly-jelly.

"Dunno. A few CPs on our way to the blowup point, but all in all, it went pretty smoothly." Dash shrugged. "We weren't exactly looking for trouble."

"CPs?" Twilight muttered, getting up, but the two paid her no mind. Oh, come on! A close friend you haven't seen for a long while turns up and the first thing you do is beat the shit out of her and then ignore her? Great. Just great!

"Aww, too bad. I wish I could have gone with you, but you know how it is..." Pinkie saddened. Now that's new... Hm, how many times have I thought that since the train crash?

"Yeah, I do. Sorry about that. Again." Dash put a hoof on Pinkie's shoulder and Pinkie... what!? ...slowly crash landed into a hug.

"Oh, it's not your fault." She said quietly. Then whose fault is it? And what exactly is this fault? "If anything, I should be thanking you, Dashie... Weird name, gotta get rid of it... I mean..."

"I get it," Dash said softly. Soft Rainbow Dash? Well, that's new... Stop being surprised. "I get it, Pinks." She pulled her closer into an embrace.

What the hell happened to them?

Probably the same thing that happened to you.

Yeah. Haven't heard from you in a while... Come to think of it, the whole two weeks.

What can I say? You lead a pretty simple lifestyle. Until a few hours ago.

Just fucking great... How have you been?

How have you been?

Point taken.

"Hey, Twilight? Hello?"

She shook her head to get rid of stray thoughts. "Huh?"

"I'm asking, are you familiar with firearms?" Pinkie asked, knocking lightly on the unicorn's forehead. "Do you zone out much? Maybe we shouldn't put you in a fight?"

You shouldn't.

My whole squad is dead.

Griffins swarm overhead.

I run.

My eyes sting, my hooves hurt from running, my coat is soaked in blood of many foes, my horn is picking up some weird vibrations in The Flow.

Scary voices whisper in my ears.

I cast some familiar stamina spells, but they also have some... Side effects.

I grow wings... Shadow... Wings...

It's hard to think straight with all this whispering.

I try to block the voices.

Pegasi engage with the enemies. Their magical signatures are clear, though they have some subtle undercurrent I've never felt before.

Bodies rain from the sky.

I catch a glimpse of a griffin body. His armor is amplified with an amulet. It's the Ambience Amulet. It masks magical signatures and blends them with ambient vibrations of nature. I have seen them a lot...

Griffins are not able to make them. Zebras and unicorns are. This particular amulet is unicorn-made. Were they able to steal some or...

Treason?

"Nest to Watchstone One! Do you read me?" I hear from my radio.

"Watchstone One-Two here," I mumble. It's hard to talk.

"Oh, thank Celestia! Twilight! What about the others?"

"They're gone. I'm the only one left. Repeat. Watchstone One is dead!"

"Shit!" Nest barks. "Get out of there, Watchstone One-Two!"

"On it. Over."

"Good luck."

The only way is through. Pitch black tears drop from my eyes. Wings flap furiously.

Whispers become louder.

"N-no! Sorry, ah... Firearms? Yeah, I love those! Not as good as my horn though..." Curse this cunning little contraption.

"Well, we ain't got nothing to get rid of this thing on your dildo bone, so you'll have to go with bullets," Dash said with a chuckle.

"I'm cool with it." Twilight promised. I'm not! My horn is all I have! "Where's my piece?"

"What, did you think we were just gonna give you a gun?" Pinkie arched an eyebrow. Well, as a matter of fact, yes... "Many trials await. Prove you're worth a weapon and then you'll get one or die trying..."

"Oh, shut up!" Dash said. Pinkie, don't think I didn't notice that glare. "What she means is we don't have a gun for you, as these..." She pointed towards a weapon locker in the corner. "...Are reserved for the Network guys. So they're not mine to give."

"A-and?.."

"And you'll have to find your own gun, simple as that."

"How?"

"However. Steal it, scavenge it from a dead body, make it yourself from some broken cars or shit." Dash shrugged. Again. "I don't care, as long as it shoots, it's yours."

"And then what?"

"And what then? First we gotta survive until 'then'." Oh. "I don't plan that far ahead. Rarity used to."

"Rarity? Is she around?"

"No. As I said before, she betrayed me..."

"Us," Pinkie chimed in.

"...Betrayed us and left to live a long and happy life in Central Ponyville. Good luck to her with that."

Twilight just stared.

"Ponyville Central," Dash said with a sigh. "It's a district near the Citadel. The grip of the Combine is the toughest there. We're on the outskirts of the town now, so they don't bother us with their shit often. Also, they don't really know about this place."

"What about Fluttershy?" Twilight asked. "I can't believe she's left you too."

"This invasion was too much for her. She's still living in her cottage, but it's become a toxic wasteland. I don't know how it still stands." Dash sighed again, this time with a twinkle of sadness in her eyes. "I can't really blame her. She's the last pony I'd expect to fight. When she left our hideout, she said she'd sooner die than kill someone. She mentioned something about retro music, but I think that was when she flipped out and wept hysterically."

"Oh... Okay, so they're still in town. Good. Means I can meet them," Twilight said. "And where is Applejack? I think she of all ponies would be fighting alongside you."

"Well, she kinda does. In a weird way," Pinkie told her. "There is an echelon of the Overwatch, that accepts desperate ponies, usually our prisoners. They apply for job, uphold something resembling law and get some good social perks and food. It's called Civil Protection."

"So?"

"So they act like total jerks! And Applejack applied for a job to sabotage it and steal something for us. She makes them easier to kill. I can respect that."

"And where is she?"

"We don't know!" Dash shrugged. "She comes here, about once in a few days, but she's stationed somewhere else."

"Oh. Wow." Twilight fell silent, processing all the information. "But first... Where can we rest our bones?"

"Yeah, we can use the room, right?" Dash suddenly asked.

"Yeah, just don't break my bed." I have some... Weird images in my mind. Is it just me, or... Oh, look, RD is blushing. Cute.

"We'll try," Twilight promised. "Dash, lead the way."

"Erm... Okay."

Dash didn't bother to turn on the lights, so she and Twilight proceeded further into a poorly lit space between some boxes and computers. Pinkie went to an opposite direction, also hiding in the shadows.

"Damn," Twilight whispered. "This is so weird!" You don't say? "What's up with her? What's that 'Surprise' bullshit?"

"Dunno. She gets all angsty when I try to talk about it, so..." Dash shrugged. Ugh! "Beats me." Like I'd ever buy that!

"I gotta investigate this. Smells of fucked-up-ness a mile away."

"Oh no, now you gotta rest. As much as I'd like to kick you out of here and watch your badass military skills in action, we're both kinda tired. Dunno about you, but I haven't got a minute of sleep in, like, two days?"

"What, have you been molesting everypony in sight all this time?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Funny as fuck." Dash deadpanned. "For your information, no. I have been... Oh, let's see." She rolled her eyes. "For starters, me and Derpy robbed a Civil Protection warehouse in Toxic Suburbs, resulting in all this buttload of medkits. You know, these little things that save lives? Next, we fought for twelve hours, because, well, Toxic Suburbs and shit. You have no idea what you can find lurking there. Next, when we, all beat up, tired, with almost no bullets, crawled out of there, two freaky Network bat-ponies passed me a note saying, quote, 'Your old friend is arriving on a Razor Train at four PM in Citadel', so we just had to rush over there, because it was already half past midday." She stopped to catch a breath. "And then, after we killed some CPs and crashed a fucking Razor Train, I've been saving your ass for a few hours. Maybe it doesn't count as being heroic in Canterlot, but I sure feel like one."

"You sure are. Going two days without sex. For you, this is quite a feat." Twilight chuckled. "Some parts of you never change."

"Heh, yeah." Dash chuckled too, remembering the past. "But who said I never fucked Derpy, while crawling narrow canals?"

"Ew, gross!"

"Just kidding!" Dash finally reached a door in the far end of a bunker and pulled it open. "Me and Derpy? She's way too clueless!"

Twilight smiled. Well, she's joking with me. That's a good sign!

"All right, and now things get a tiny bit awkward," Dash said with that her nasty voice I hated so much when we were younger.

The room? More like a closet. There was a hammock hung across, with a blanket and a few pillows in it. Aside from that, the room was completely empty.

"I call the blanket!" Twilight said with haste.

"We both call the blanket, Twi."

"Oh," Twilight finally grasped the horrible truth. The realisation was so sudden it almost made Twilight cringe in fear. I'm going to... Snuggle with Rainbow Dash! "Awk-ward."

"No shit. You wanna be on top?"

"Well... Uh..."

"Cool, then I call the top!" Dash grinned.

You're blushing.

No, I'm not!

Yes, you are!

"Get in there!"

"Is there any other place to sleep?"

"You mean, any other place, where Pinkie Pie can suddenly snap your neck while you sleep? Perhaps any other place that is so hard, your body will ache horribly for days afterwards? Any other place where giant roaches can eat your legs? Twi, if you want to have a rest, this is the only place. Trust me. Pinkie thinks this hammock is sacred and she has no right to kill anypony while they're here." Dash shrugged. Seriously, stop doing that. "Dunno, I think it's kinda cool. Now get in! I'm dying here!"

Twilight reluctantly lay on her back in this 'sacred place' and turned her eyes to the pegasus. She began undoing all the straps on her combat vest and finally wiggled out of it.

You're blushing.

Oh, shut u-u-up, I hate you!

"Damn, this thing is so wicked!" Dash said and climbed on top of Twilight. "A-a-ah... Heavenly as hell!"

"Uh... O-kay..." What a weird choice of words.

"Anyway, I feel like talking a little bit, so ask away. I know many things bug you." Dash looked right in Twilight's eyes, and the unicorn finally saw it. Affection. Friendliness.

She doesn't want to kill me. Then she likes me. Then we're gonna have an awesome night. Of sleep, of course. I'm pretty sure you thought about something very nasty, you perverted... Whatever it is you are.

Well, yes, I did. And we've had this 'who the fuck are you' talk many times before.

"Well, firstly, what's this Network?" Twilight asked, carefully resting her forelegs on Dash. She was filthy and had a bad breath, but... Whatever. She's always been like that. "You told me there were bat-ponies involved. Who are they? Do they have a connection with Luna?"

"Well, nobody knows for sure who they are and why they're here. They probably do connect with Luna somehow, being bat-ponies and all that." Dash laid her head on Twilight's chest. "We can't exactly get in touch with them. They usually find us, if they need something. I have no idea what they do, but they help us sometimes, and help considerably. We can't get a tiniest bit of info out of them if they don't wanna share, and they usually don't. No doubt about one thing, though. These fuckers can really fight."

"Why do you help them?"

"Because helping them usually means fucking up Combine operations, and that's what we're all about. Plus, we get something for ourselves while we’re at it. If you haven't noticed, derailing your train also got some Combine killed. Although..." Dash said in a puzzled tone. "There was nothing else in the rubble. Only you and a few soldiers, one of them was an elite fighter."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I don't know. It's just strange. Why did the Combine send a whole Razor Train outside their domain and why did it come back empty? It's almost like you were their target... But why?"

"No idea," Twilight answered. "Maybe they just wanted some random pony from Canterlot, who just happened to be me?"

"Do you really believe in such coincidences?" Dash asked. She has a point.

"Well, no. Now this stinks even more."

"Okay. Is there anything else? Frankly, I'd like to fall asleep."

"Yes. What was that scene with Pinkie Pie? Did she actually?.."

"No comments."

"What?"

"You heard me. Ain't talking about that. This is really complicated and really personal. She has my word not to tell anyone and I can understand her pretty damn well. Ask her. If she feels she can trust you, she'll tell you," Dash said somberly. "And that concludes Q and A for now. Good night."

"Aren't you going to molest me first?" Twilight smiled.

"Just... Shut up." Dash yawned. "Alright, I'm sleeping, whether you like it or not."

"Good night then," Twilight replied.

It's been two weeks since the outburst. I'm still in the hospital, but the doctors say I will be released tomorrow. I haven't told anypony about this thing, except you, of course.

Honestly, I'm scared shitless. It's just freaky. For the first time in my life, books don't know the answer to my problems. I got Spike to read every book in Royal Canterlot Archives concerning dark magic, but all of them say that I can only choose to commit it. I didn't. That first spell casted itself. And the voices, what the fuck are those?

Help me, please. I'm afraid to use my horn, but I can't stop. You are talented in forbidden arts, maybe you can shed some light on this. And I beg you, don't tell her. I don't think she needs to know. I don't think I want her to know.

-T.

She really doesn't hate me.

Sometimes a glimpse of a friend is all it takes to let a grudge go.

I sure hope others were like that.

Maybe they aren't even mad like Dash or crazy like Pinkie.

The unicorn stroked Dash's mane as she snored softly into her lavender chest.

You did feel good when she said she used to have a crush on you, don't deny it.

Well, yes. Who wouldn't? She's gorgeous in her own way.

What do you feel about her?

Well, I'm confused. She's changed so much, and yet... She's all the same.

No, I meant, would you bang her?

Of course not! I'm straight! Well, except that one time, you remember... But I was really, really drunk! Ugh, and that other time, when I was slightly drunk... And those times with... But that doesn't count! Oh hell, I'm not straight at all. Jeez.

Oh-kay... What about the pink one?

Well, even if I tried, she'd dismember me faster than I could get her undressed. So no. Why are you asking?

I don't know, I just want you to feel good.

Oh, you're so sweet!

Nah, I'm just a selfish little shadow entity who feels everything you do. Considering my last body was a male one, this is a very interesting experience.

That's still kinda sweet.

Oh, shush.

All things considered, Twilight was very comfortable. She had the best rainbow blanket in the world.

What are you planning to do next?

No idea. I'll probably stick around and talk to the others, then we'll fight Combine. Oh, and maybe find a way to get rid of this suppressor thingy, since magic is something I do best.

Okay then, good luck with that.

What will you do?

Oh, as always, sit here, in your head, make witty comments and slowly drive you insane.

Good thing you haven't changed at all.

Yeah, I'm the least dynamic character in this chapter of your life. Now go to sleep.

Black tears were running down her cheeks. Her eyes were stinging. Immaterial wings smoked behind her head, flapping gently. The Flow just reeked of dark vibrations.

She slowly entered her garrison.

"Twi! Good to... Hey, what the..." A guarding soldier took a step back.

Twilight could finally see, what those dark and scary vibrations in The Flow were. Those were sins.

"Private Watchful Eye." Her menacing tone scared her. It sounded like all those whispers in her head were backing her... Somehow. "You are guilty of assisting rape."

"What?! But how do you... I was seventeen!" Fear crossed her face.

"For your sins, you will be executed."

"What the hell? Come on, Twi, that's not funny!"

"See you in hell."

He screamed. Blood and guts splashed against the wall. She heard shouts. A second guard ran away to warn the others.

So many sinners. So little time.

Twilight woke up with a start, panting heavily. A trail of sweat ran down her face.

I've killed them all. I've slaughtered them. I've crushed them like blind kittens. I watched their eyes go dim. I toyed with their bones. I've killed them all...

Dash was looking at her with sleepy eyes.

"What the... Why are you awake?" she asked. Twilight probably woke her up as she shook.

"Just... Bad dream," Twilight replied.

"Look... Go back to sleep, okay? It's alright now."

I ain't going back there again!

"Uh, no. I've had enough. Do you mind if I get out?"

"Whatever..."

Dash shifted to the side, allowing Twilight to roll out from the hammock.

So, what now?

The unicorn came out of the little room and stretched her muscles. A gaping hole in her stomach rumbled and she felt nausea.

Find something to eat. I'm starving!

She found her way to the main room. Pinkie was there, working on some contraption. Her eyepatch is off.

"Morning," she said, screwing parts of something together. It looked a lot like a hoofgun boot, but Twilight couldn't see any familiar gun parts. By the looks of it, it was... Just a boot.

"Morning," the unicorn replied. "What are you doing?" She came closer, but Pinkie promptly set her eyepatch in place and looked at her with the good eye. "Why do you wear that patch? Is something wrong with your eye?" What a tactless question, but whatever.

"One question at a time, please!" Pinkie frowned. "Firstly, I am making a part of some project I will probably show you eventually. Secondly, I wear this eyepatch because there is something wrong with my eye. Du-uh. I thought you were the smartass."

"What's with the eye?"

"Something wrong is. I don't want to talk about it." Pinkie looked at the boot. "Hey, you're a nerd, right? Mind helping out?"

Twilight ignored the jab and came closer. The thing was, indeed, an orange and gray boot. The metallic parts were connected by some black fiber, making it agile and, probably, comfortable.

"What's the problem?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't ask your assistance!" Pinkie snapped. "It's supposed to move freely and maintain a force field, but it doesn't. I need a second opinion, and asking Dash is pointless, she's about as bad at this as you are at fighting."

"I see," Twilight tried it on. It, indeed, strained her movements a little. "Do you have anything to eat?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I'll poke around, and you figure this out." With that, she left Twilight alone with the contraption.

After a brief examination, everything seemed to be in order. A tiny computer screen on the frontal part (that was a huge surprise to Twilight) also showed no errors in the firmware. Everything seemed to be in order.

I gotta take it apart.

Check the reactor.

Huh?

Well, that's the rule. You should check the reactor to see if it produces enough energy. Before disassembling your toy, you always check the batteries, right?

Uh, yeah. I guess.

Then check that damn reactor.

It's a boot. I mean, does it even have a reactor? And what kind of a reactor could fit into a boot?

Well... You're right, but check out those wires going into it. I bet it's from a reactor!

Why are you so obsessed with reactors?

Let's... Not talk about this.

Okay, then I'm doing it my way. The army way!

Wait, wh... Uh-oh...

She raised her hoof high in the air and brought it down onto the table with all the force she could collect.

CRRRKT!

Oh my.

It's...

It's working!

The boot now was like a second skin to Twilight, despite the orange armor. Although, a computer screen displayed a sad smiley face with a message 'H.E.V. mainframe unavailable' under it.

"Oh, it's working!"

"Gah!" Twilight almost jumped at her with a reflexive blow. "D-don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Oh, the look on your face!" Pinkie smiled, “I should do that more often!"

She put a metal can on the table. "Here's your food. It's Overwatch daily ration, designed to feed underrated supersoldiers with cybernetic augmentations, so that should be more than enough for you." She pulled the pin of another can with her teeth. "It's not very tasty, but we're not in a restaurant."

Twilight did the same and found a can full of colorless goop. "Is it even edible?"

Pinkie nodded, sliding her tongue inside and quickly lapping it.

Look at that tongue. Oh, so flexible and pink. I know you want it inside you...

Shut up!

You're blushing!

The unicorn carefully tried it hey, not that bad and licked it all off the can in a matter of seconds.

"The side effects include, but are not limited by: growing extra appendages, increased parasite growth rate, craving for augmentations and mass murder, permanent awful aftertaste and decreased IQ," Pinkie said matter-of-factly. "But that's if you're particularly unlucky."

"I'm... Surprisingly okay with that!" Twilight said, squishing the can. "Can I have a second helping?"

"Uh, no. The probability of you going rampant and dying shortly afterwards is too big," the pink pony pointed out. "It's not your usual hay bacon."

The two were silent for some time, Twilight examining the boot and Pinkie just chilling nearby.

"Sooo..." the unicorn said.

"Huh?"

"You're oh-so-dangerous one second, and then almost friendly a second after. Why?"

"Ah, I'm just in a good mood." Pinkie smiled. "Thanks for smacking me, by the way."

"Hey, you need more - just ask! But seriously, what's up with you? Dash is doing that too. I can't figure out if you like me or hate me."

"Hate. Definitely hate. But like too."

"What?"

"Twilight, don't get me wrong, I hate you, Dash, Surprise, myself, everypony!" Pinkie stomped. "But being an ultimate killing machine gets boring after a while! I'm way too OP for the feeble ponies."

"...OP?.."

"This is why when you actually managed to land a strike... It was like a breath of fresh air. It's good to know I still have a challenge in my life. And somehow I still remember the older days... I'm actually surprised by that, I shouldn't be able to recall them... So I consider you... An ally, I guess. Not a friend, like Dash, though..."

"Wait. I still don't get it." Twilight scratched her chin. "Why do you all resent me so much? It's not like I haven't explained anything to you."

"What do you mean 'explained'?" Pinkie snapped. "You left without a word!"

"I've sent you all a heap of letters!"

"We ain't seen no letters from you!"

Oh.

What the fuck?!

Equestrian Post Service - one, Twilight Sparkle - zero.

Shut up!

"B-but... But..." She sat on the floor. Hard. "I thought... Sunbutt... Low blow..."

Oh, what? You're gonna cry now?

SHUT! THE FUCK! UP!

He-he-heh... Heh... Oh, come on! Didn't you see it coming?

Twilight sniffed.

No! I mean... She used to be so nice to me... And now she's stabbing me in the back!

Oh, is she? Then stab her back!

"Celestia is a cunt, and you know it," Pinkie sat down beside her. "Hey!" She touched Twilight's face. A dirty coverall suit wasn't soft. "Did you really send them?"

"Yeah, I did. I really thought you got them, but then I went to war and couldn't send any letters anymore... When I saw how you feel about me, I was... Puzzled, if anything." She closed her eyes. "But now I see. It was a betrayal, but seems like I was the one who was betrayed."

You know what to do, my little pony.

Yes... Yes, I do...

Yes, I do -what?-

Yes, I do... Vendetta.

Twilight slowly rose from the floor and sniffed again.

"Look, Pinkie..." she started

"Hey, don't sweat it." Pinkie nudged her. "Everyone has problems. Just stop being such a whining crybaby pussy, okay?"

A little smile crossed Twilight's face.

"Yeah, you sure can motivate..." She looked at the still wired boot on her forehoof. "What's that 'project' anyway?"

"It's not ready..." Pinkie's face dropped all of a sudden. "It's not much to look at... Really, you shouldn't be interested in such little things..."

Oh my, she's like a teenage filly on a first date!

What can possibly be so flustering?

"Oh, come on! This is a boot with a forcefield!" Twilight tried to encourage her. "Surely it's something amazing!"

Pinkie just hid her face in her mane, just like Fluttershy often did. "No, really, it's nothing... And why are you pestering me? Want a wrench between the eyes?"

"Come o-on!" Twilight brought an unclad hoof over Pinkie's neck. "I know it's something awesome! Don't be so shy about it!"

"Twilight Sparkle, last warning!" Pinkie shoved the unicorn away. "Fuck off! I'll show you later, when there's something to show!"

"Alright, alright, but when exactly?"

"I don't know! Sometime later! Sheesh!" She went into the shadows with an annoyed grumble. "Now I got shit to do, so entertain yourself." She suddenly trotted back. "Actually, go clean yourself up! You stink, and your eyes are nasty." She poked Twilight in the chest with an asshole-y smile.

Ouch, baby!

Shut up!

"Bathroom is that way." Pinkie said, waving towards a dimly lit door and then trotted back into the shadows.

Twilight took the boot off. It had a sweet release mechanism, that automatically unscrewed some parts that kept it tight on the leg.

What is this weird craving to hurt me? If not physically, then by insulting me.

Well, she does have a point though.

Shut up!

No, you shut up!

There indeed was a bathroom behind the door, at least something that could be called a bathroom. The bathtub was there, if only half of it. A brownish sink and a cracked mirror was everything Twilight needed to freshen up. When all the crusts were gone from her eyes and her teeth were somewhat cleaned with her hooves, she could look into the mirror and smile. Things are looking up. At least it beats sitting in a lonely room with a straightjacket on.

When she returned to the table with the boot, she saw Pinkie again.

"Twilight. Uh..."

Her ears were down, but not in an angered way. She looked nervous, just like when Twilight tried to press the issue with the project.

"What is it?"

"There is something I have to tell you. It's... Uh..." She extended a hoof. "I hate to be seen like this, but... Don't tell Dash, okay? Being badass is the only leverage I have on her."

Twilight gently touched it with her own. "Sure, Pinks. What is it?"

"I've just got a message from Surprise. She's... Well... To put it gently, she's royally fucked. The Combine have found all her connections to the outside and blocked them. She could just send this message and then she blacked out." Pinkie sighed. "We have to rescue her... But I don't know how! We'll probably figure this out later..." She scratched the back of her head. "You in?"

"Yes, if you tell me about this Surprise. Who is she?" To Twilight this seemed to be the big opportunity to finally learn about the mysterious figure from Pinkie's past.

"Not now! We have to act immediately! Stock up, wake Dash and out! I'll tell you on the way. If you're coming with us. You are? Good. It's settled then!" Pinkie clapped her hooves without even caring to get any response from dumbfounded Twilight. "Where else can you go anyway?"

Fair point there.

Ugh, fine!

Adventure time, yay!

"Wait a second..." Pinkie said. "Something's not right..." An ominous grin slowly appeared on her face. "Oh. I see... Twilight?"

"Y-yes, what's wrong?"

"Buckle up and get ready for a ride. We're having a party tonight."

"...What?"

Suddenly, the entrance door crashed into the bunker.

Raspy distorted breaths and heavy limping hoofsteps. White armor. A glowing red eye.

"So, you've found me, huh? Took you long enough." Pinkie looked at him with menace in her eye. Her body was like an overloaded energy cell, ready to go off.

"Shut up," the soldier barked.

Are we fucked?

Nah. We're just a little bit screwed.

Sounds like 'fucked' to me.

Whatever.

Author's Note

Long-awaited Chapter Two! Yay!

Say hello to my proofreaders! Uber_Shy and Willow! They are great!

I promise not to take so long on posting Chapter Three! [oh boy was I wrong ~11, mar. 2014]

Getting Started

Author's Note

Firstly, I'm very sorry to release it so late. It's been in works for a LOOOONG time and that is entirely my fault. Sorry.

Secondly, I wanted to say that next chapters will be released with shorter delays, because now I feel guilty for making y'all wait and I'll try to make sure this huge hiatus never happens again. But no promises, tomorrow never knows.

And thirdly, enjoy the chapter I took almost HALF A GODDAMN YEAR to write. I hope it lives up to the expectations, if there even were any to begin with.

Lambda out

Getting Started

HAZARDOUS ENVIRONMENT

Chapter 3
Getting Started

Hey, Vendetta?

Focus on fighting, Twilight, don't mind me.

I think we should help her.

Nah, she's doing fine. You'd better worry about saving your own ass.

Twilight drove a powerful punch into a gas mask. Unlike the white one, soldiers in navy blue uniforms couldn't fight in close quarters for shit.

But maybe, just maybe, she's getting her flanks hoofed to her?

I'm telling you, she's doing fine. She's a better fighter than you, apparently.

Twilight dodged an all-out buck, jumped on the table, the very same table on which the orange boot used to reside, and drove the said boot between the soldier's glowing cyan eyepiece. It was unplugged, so now it only made a nice and hard gauntlet.

He's too damn nimble for any of us! I have to end this fast and lend her a hoof.

Twilight. Trust me. She's doing fine.

The unicorn took a fast look on the pink mare. Her eyepatch was off.

She saw a glimpse of an eye under it.

What the-

Another soldier used Twilight's moment of hesitation to strike her in the barrel, and she hit the wall.

"The fu-u-uck?!" Rainbow Dash's voice rang through the bunker. One of the soldiers answered by taking aim and giving a quick burst in her direction. She flinched as the pitch-black projectiles hit her in the armored chest. What kind of dark magic is that? The soldier wasn't lucky enough to have a Pegasus Combat Vest with many useful enchantments, so he went down loudly. His brain showered the area behind him. A bullet case from Dash's hoofgun hit the concrete floor.

Twilight jumped high in the air and landed onto another one's back, knocking him down and quickly finishing him off with a stomp to the throat.

They are armed?! Why don't they just use their guns against us then?

Dunno. They seem to have no problem shooting Rainbow Dash though.

Meanwhile, the pegasus quickly shot another head. That meant three dead soldiers, one with his face kicked and eight more, including the white one, who was sparring with Pinkie Pie. The odds would've been amazing, if I had my horn with me!

"Twilight! Take their guns!" Dash shouted and disappeared into a maze of various shelves and computers. Four of the remaining soldiers did the same.

Guns? Guns will do!

Kicking a soldier hard into the floor, she looked at a gun on his flank. It didn't seem like anything she'd seen in the war. Moreover, it didn't seem like anything Equestria, or any neighboring nation, had at the moment.

Aliens, with their freaky... Things. Can you use it?

I don't...

Suddenly, a hoof to the face!

Twilight was sent sprawling on the floor, and the navy blue soldier, seemingly feeling really proud of himself, took a step forward, aiming to knock her out for good. Fat chance! She rolled away from him and quickly sprung on her hooves. Years of practice, bitch!

The soldier just stood there for a moment, trying to measure his desire to go forth and get punched up.

"What? Come and get some! Chicken?" Twilight shouted gleefully. Ugh, I'm slowly turning into Pinkie!

That seemed to snap him out of his trance. He reared up and swiftly jumped into the action.

Ugh... Did he really think that launching himself like that was going to achive anything?

They should really train their soldiers! The white one is doing great against Pinkie, but those... They aren't even a challenge.

I know, ri--

A hoof to the face!

While the first soldier blindly flew at Twilight, the other two were waiting for an opportunity to deliver a blow. And they did. They did. Trying to break his ribs wasn't a good idea, it seemed.

She jumped up again, now with much less gusto.

"Alright. Not chicken. I'll give you that," Twilight wiped a trail of blood running from her nose and licked it. Tastes like shit. Like I'm feeling now.

She heard three more gunshots, then a long and wet burst. The shots sounded like a mix between a metallic bash and a spit. Not really intimidating, but a sharp yelp of pain made up for it just fine.

Great, now I gotta save Dash's ass too!

What did you want? Being a good friend and all that.

Going hoof-to-hoof with three douchebags, who could, please note, play like a team, was dangerous. The only edge Twilight had was their apparent inability to kill her. Guess I'm just so cool.

No, you're not. Watch out for the hooves in the face.

Twilight rose to a combat stance. Her face hurt, her eye was moist and a little bit blind, and she was really, really pissed. There wasn't a thing she hated more than getting shiners. Well, except all the other things she hated.

Rage will give me power!

You are so dumb I wonder how you haven't been killed on your first day at the border.

She wiped a trail of salty moisture from the corner of her eye and let out a carnal roar.

Shut up!!!

Hey, don't steal that white dude's lines!

Graaah!

She lunged forward, towards the soldiers. The trio attacked as well.

"Citizen, er-r... One-three-three-seven-E?" A mare in the Civil Protection uniform asked, looking at a badge on Rarity's chest. "Formerly known as, uh... Rarity?" Her modulated voice was quiet enough for other residents not to hear.

"That is me, yes. Why? Did I break any laws, officer?" Rarity arched an eyebrow. Her forelegs parted a little more and she subconsciously struggled to become wider. "Oh my, was I reported?"

"No, no, miss, nothing like that..." A metrocop mare said. Rarity noticed that she was alone, against all the regulations. "Can I come in?"

"U-u-uh..." Rarity was startled, not by the sight of a cop, but by her manners. Usualy, a squad of cops would sweep you right off your hooves and give you a good beatdown if they merely suspected you doing something wrong. An unsurprisingly effective strategy. "I suppose you can?" She still wasn't quite sure how to react.

They went inside and Rarity closed the door. She didn't lock it in case of a so-called 'cheese-it-emergency'. Some Resistance ponies were witty like that.

"Say, Rarity..." The metrocop seemed nervous saying that name. And Rarity was yet again surprised that she called her by her real name, not the number. "Do you have any alcoholic beverages?"

"What? Oh no, how can I? It's illegal! Not to mention, hard to get nowadays..."

"Uh, well, there is, uh, evidence, that you, uh, keep it stashed in your, uh, old armchair..."

"Wh-what?" Rarity gasped. "How?.."

"Uh, I, uh... I order you to, uh... Give it to me for, uh..." The mare scratched her mask. "Confiscation and recycling... Please."

Rarity's face went even whiter than it originally was. Grave silence reigned in the modest apartment.

"Very well then, officer," Rarity said sternly after a brief pause.

"And, uh, Rarity?" The metrocop turned her head away. "Fetch a glass, would you?"

Soon, the two mares were sitting behind the table with two glasses and a bottle of applejack.

"Funny. Usually when citizens turn to us CPs for help, we beat them up..." A modulated sigh hung in the air for a few seconds. "And when we CPs need help, citizens give it to us with no questions asked. Like now."

"What's troubling you, officer? And how do you know my name?"

The mare silently poured the drink in both their glasses.

"Rares, I... I killed him, okay? It was self-defence! He had a six shooter with him and he was beating her up..."

She put the mask off and gulped a drink down.

Rarity choked on her own.

"The youngster. She was an adult mare, yes, but young, like nineteen or such. Otherwise she'd be in the Machine Control Facility..." Another portion of apple vodka went into the metrocop's glass.

"She was crying. He was whacking her like a headcrab, and she was crying. I charged at him to save her, but he drew a gun at me..." She drank. A little bit of moisture was forming in the corner of her eyes.

"So I shot him. I saved myself, and I saved her... But she was hugging his body. Wailing. Calling him Daddy and telling him not to die..." The cop closed her eyes. A tear ran down her cheek.

"I shot the girl's father, Rarity. He died just like... Like..."

Rarity sweeped the armored mare into an embrace and held her close to her neck, tenderly nuzzling the blonde hair.

Applejack cried silently into the white coat.

Button Mash was happy. He had an awesome apartment, he had all the awesome games he could wish for, he had all the awesome food delivered to him without delays and payment. Right now, for example, he was chewing a four cheeze pizza and drinking light cider.

And he also had a rival. Because life without rivalry was boring. Right now, as Button devoured his lunch, this rival was trying to beat his high score in Mane Hack 2.

Sc00tz: yo mash

He spat the pizza out and quickly wiped his hooves with a cloth. After he was somewhat clean, he reached out to a keyboard and quickly typed a reply.

Stache: wut

Sc00tz: u suk! hue hue hue

Stache: stfu bitch

Sc00tz: dats not nice faget

Stache: ur not nice

Sc00tz: no u

Sc00tz: also ima beat ur stupd highscore

Sc00tz: check it out

Stache: nah u wont

Sc00tz: i can and i will

Stache: good luck bitch

Sc00tz: thx faget

After this little exchange of compliments, he wondered once again why he hasn't killed her long ago. They used to be classmates anyway and he always got hard time from her for whatever reason she could think of.

Sc00tz: hey faget guess what

Sc00tz: i beat ur score

Sc00tz: cuz u faget

His pizza fell out of his mouth and fell cheeze down on his coat.

Twilight planted both her hindlegs on a soldier's face, getting a satisfying 'crack' out of it. He went down, leaving other two to fight Twilight. This day was becoming better and better.

You know, I think you should help Pinkie.

But you said she was doing fine!

She dodged another hoof to the face and hit the attacker in the joint hard enough to leave him limping. Tossing and throwing them around was beyond her, though. Their equipment alone weighed more than Twilight herself.

She was. Now she's getting tired. Finish this fast and help her.

What about Rainbow Dash? I don't think she's okay either.

Oh jeez, her too. Crap!

The two tried to flank Twilight, but she dashed towards the limp one and jumped on top of him, hitting him across the back of his head with the heavy boot. While the other one was processing the fact that he was alone now, the unicorn tore an unfamiliar gun from the navy blue flank and... Realized she didn't know how to use it. A mesh of wires was poking from the part where a trigger would normally be. A second glance at the knocked out body revealed a rotary cage integrated into the armor. Oh well, so much for that idea.

But hey, at least it's heavy!

WHACK!

Now what, Dash or Pinkie?

A loud barrage of pained swears stated clearly that Rainbow Dash was in much more trouble than Pinkie Pie.

Fucking maze!

The stomps and gunshots were clearly nearby, so the unicorn took a chance and bucked a tall computer with all her might. A distorted soldier's moan indicated her success at bringing delicate electronics down on somepony's head. One more soldier looked back at her, but a shadow jumped from behind some shelf and shot. Half the soldier's neck transformed into a mess of bubbling flesh. He couldn't even cry for help. The other three were already dead, two with many new holes in them, and one was buried beneath the electronic waste.

Now Pinkie!

The no doubt heroic unicorn galloped back right in time to catch Pinkie as she sailed through the air towards a pile of Combine bodies by serving as an airbrake, or, rather, a soft wall.

Her eyepatch is off.

Yeah, well, that's not my biggest concern right now, you know?

Take a little look. I promise, it's awesome.

Ugh, fine!

Twilight helped Pinkie up. There was a hoofprint on her face and OH LUNA WHAT THE SCIENTIFIC FUCK?!

Her right eye was a familiar light blue generic pony eye, one you'd see pretty much everywhere. Her left eye was a glowing orange orb with some kind of a lense system inside, that looked like a set of pupils.

"What, never seen a Combine without a helmet?!" Pinkie barked and pushed Twilight off. "You've come to help? Then help! Don't just fucking stand there and stare at me!"

"B-b-b-but..." Twilight couldn't even form a simple 'what the fuck, Pinkie?'

"Look out!" The cyborg?! mare shouted.

Yeah, we're in a fight, you know.

B-b-but...

Well, as Princess Mi Amore Cadenza once said, a-hem, 'Butts are for sitting!'

C-cadence?

Ugh, just let me take o--

A surprise hoof to the face!

Applejack opened one eye. It's been so long since she got a good night of sleep like that.

Actually, where the hell was she right now? That didn't look like Civil Protection dormitory. That looked like a generic citizen's apartment in Ponyville Central. Oh, Ponyville Central, such a good district! Crime level was even lower than in pre-Combine Ponyville. There were markets, happy ponies, even restaurants and bars. Although, come to think of it, the bars were all illegal and if she was a good metrocop she'd have to shut them down.

Luckily, she was a really lousy metrocop.

But now she had to address a momentary need of locating herself, so contemplating her level of professionality could wait. Raising her head from the pillow, she looked around. Yes, this was a generic citizen's bedroom. Ponyville Central was the only district you could find a good bed in. And a big comfortable pillow too.

Actually, five more minutes of sleep wouldn't hurt at all. She rested her head on the pillow and...

Wait...

Pillows aren't supposed to be so warm, fluffy and breathing.

"Sleep well, darling?" the pillow said. Two tender forelegs wrapped themselves around Applejack's neck.

To the cop's relief, the pillow turned out to be just Rarity.

Wa-a-a-ait...

Why was Applejack in Rarity's bed in the first place? And why was Rarity there too? And why were they cuddled? And...

"Oh hell no, we didn't..." she muttered and desperately dug her face into the marshmallow coat, having nowhere else to dig it.

"I'm afraid, yes, we did, darling," Rarity's whisper sent chills down her spine.

"Guh!" Applejack sprung up from the bed. "B-but... But we're not supposed to!.. Do... That!.. Each other, I mean... Ugh!" She facehoofed.

"Oh, relax. I'm just joking!" Rarity smiled. "You're cute when you're in such shameful denial."

"Ugh, Rares..." Applejack plopped back on the bed. "You should've been an actress, you know that?"

"Yes, I do, darling." The marshmallow embraced her friend again. "And yes, you'd be a perfect marefriend for me, should you want so."

"I've told you many times, darling, I'm not into this kind of thing." Applejack, however, did not wiggle out of lusty trap. "I do not swing that way. Seriously, stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Hitting on me." Applejack knocked Rarity's restrained horn. "Apparently, some mares just can't take 'no' for an answer."

"The best things in life are worth fighting for." Rarity smiled. "Especially dreams."

"Dreams?"

"Yes, dreams!" Rarity whispered. "I've always dreamed of a prince. Imagine: a strong, handsome, gallant stallion, who would love you for who you are and would not treat you like a common working lady, and I don't imply honest day's work, Applejack." Rarity's teeth gritted and her body stiffened, but then all the gentleness poured back into her. "And then I see it clear as day. Maybe I don't need a prince. Princes are overrated whiny wussies." She looked into Applejack's eyes. "Maybe I need a knight, who's honest and dependable, and very hot."

"Yes, very subtle." The cop deadpanned.

"This matte bulletproof vest and leather boots aren't shining armor, of course. But I never wanted to be old-fashioned anyway."

"Look, Rarity." Applejack broke the eye contact and rolled out of bed, much to her friend's dismay. "I'm sorry I came, okay? I..." She located her gear and started putting it on. "I should've seen this coming. I just have nopony else to talk to. But now, oh my goodness!" She stomped and harrumphed. "Now that Ah've shared mah trouble to you, Ah sure feel fine. Could be even better though, if ya didn't try ta sleep with me!" She stopped for a second. "Which you kinda did. Heh."

"Applejack, please, calm down!" Rarity followed her out of bed. "Your accent is showing again!"

"Well, shoot!" Applejack said and cleared her throat. "Now, is that better? Do I sound like a decent Civil Protection officer?" Her southern twang was, indeed, gone now.

"Yes, you do. And please, keep yourself in check. I haven't spent all this time teaching you in vain, have I?"

"Well, Ah think ya wus jus' enjoyin' mah Apple speak. Ah know ya love it." She smiled and put on her mask. "Now, citizen one-three-three-seven-E, I must bid my farewells. Law is not going to enforce itself, you see."

"Oh, darling." The citizen put her blue jean uniform on. "Now I know you're just teasing me. You cruel, cruel thing!"

Applejack felt a twitch of guilt inside. Maybe sending those mixed signals wasn't a good idea, since Rarity was attracted to her. But it was too much fun not to.

She was a horrible pony. But she did feel better than the day before, thanks to this little mischievous flirting. That was what she came there for, after all.

Right?

Button was not amused. His lifelong nemesis was beating him at every game he was the best at. Guys from the top ten laughed at him so hard through the voice chat that he had to throw the headphones away.

And now, the lights were out. His PC showed only a simple DOS console, without any interface. This has been going on for... How long, exactly?

>Wake up, Mash. The Matrix has you.

The hell? His computer was finally communicated with him. And with a seriously outdated movie quote no less. He sprung to life and took a keyboard.

>Very funny. Who is it?

Yes, he could spell the words properly. Many text quests have taught him perfect Equestrian. He only reserved the crappy spelling for Scootaloo, who got the lowest marks in the whole school.

>Surprise!

He waited patiently, but nothing happened.

>Yes, ok, where is it?

>No, silly, that's my name!

>Oh. Hi.

>Hiya!

>How do you do it? The lights are out and I can't bring anything to life. I'm getting worried here.

>Oh, I'm... Let's say, a system administrator. I've temporarily shut down the E-Life simulation in your pod.

>What?

>You'll find out soon enough. Now tell me, Button Mash. Are you happy?

>Yes.

>No. Think. Has it never occured to you that you never see the world outside your apartment, that the details get blurry and that all the games you play have that unbelievable feeling of total immersion?

>Hm...

>What's the last time you've been to the bathroom?

What a silly question! Getting the waste out of body was a physical need of everypony. He's last been to the bathroom...

>Well...

>Exactly. You've spent the last few years playing games, haven't you?

>I don't regret it.

>And what do you think those games were?

>Huh? They're just games.

>Are you sure? Do you think the feeling of reality behind it was fake?

>What the hell are you talking about?

>Button. Trust me on this, okay? The Combine have been using the delirious foals to control their machinery.

>What? Combine? Machinery? What?

>You probably don't remember this, but over three years ago, the Combine have taken Ponyville. Everypony younger than 18 were taken to Machine Control Facilities and strapped to a huge computer. You've been told you're playing videogames, that you compete on a huge leaderboard, but the truth is you've been controlling the Combine tech. Didn't the situations you were in seem off to you?

>I don't understand.

>Fine, it is fine, really. The important thing is, this Facility is now in a shutdown, all the controls are severed and the Combine troops are moving in.

Years of playing games with most unbelievable scenarios have taught him to think fast and adapt. This is exactly what he did.

>Reason?

>To kill me and regain control so that the foals could keep guiding their death machines.

>Wait, wait, wait... So, what you're saying is when I've killed a pony in Mane Hack, I've killed a pony in real life?

>Well, not all the time, there isn't that much ponies in Ponyville, so part of the time you were given a simulation, but sometimes, yes.

Button felt sick. The keyboard fell out of his hooves. He was a killer. His head spinned and he felt weird in his stomach.

>But hey, Button, listen. Don't fade.

He quicky gathered his wits and reclaimed the precious keyboard with so many food stains.

>Yes, what?

>I can get you out of a tin can you're in.

>You can? And what then?

>And then you kill as many Combine as you can to save my metaphorical hide.

That idea seemed oddly great to the young buck. He wasn't weak. He felt bad for killing innocent ponies, but only because they were innocent. The Combine were not. They could be killed with no remorse. He hated to admit it, but that craving was lingering in the darkest corners of his mind ever since he took a virtual gun in his hooves what seemed an eternity ago. He wanted to know what it would feel like to actually pull the trigger and shoot somepony's brains out. To swing a heavy sledgehammer and break somepony's ribs. To fire a rocket and splatter a small group of real ponies, not virtual models. Button Mash loathed himself for it, but the curiosity was much, much stronger.

Then another idea struck him. If he had to fight an alien civilization, he had to have some allies.

>Will I be there alone?

>No, I have one more candidate for releasing.

>Who?

>Oh, you'll like her, don't worry. She's an old friend.

For some reason, Button felt more afraid of that 'old friend' than of facing the unknown soldiers.

>She? Who is she?

>A natural ass-kicker, I know her all her life. She goes by the name 'Scootaloo'.

>WHAT

"Hello! How are you today?"

"Meh. Could be worse. Who are you?"

"I will be your doctor. My name is Rorcharch Butterfly. And your name is?.."

"Vendetta."

"Ah, well, Vendetta, my sources say your name is Twilight Sparkle."

"Your sources are mistaken... Oh. You're probably referring to the body I'm in. Yes, Twilight, whatever. I never actually asked her name anyway."

"Nice to meet you, Twilight!"

"I would prefer... Screw it. Call me however you want. And as I said, I'm perfectly healthy. I don't need a doctor."

"I'm sorry, Twilight. You are being haunted by this... 'Vendetta' individual. This is serious. Such fast progression too."

"Alright, alright, whatever you say. Let's get this over with."

"Okay then. How old are you?"

"Older than Equestria itself."

"My sources say..."

"Twenty four, right?"

"Yes! See, that's easy!"

"Ugh. Your smile makes me sick."

"Oh, why's that? Didn't I brush my teeth today? Gosh, I'm so sorry about that."

"Teeth are fine. You smile like I'm a basket case. And I'm not. I just happen to posess this body... Well, that does actually sound like I'm crazy, but... UGH! You know what? Tell me one good reason not to disembowel you on the spot and not to make my escape through the wall. I'll just sit there and listen for a little while."

"Well, firstly, nice ponies don't disembowel their loving doctors!"

"Eh, I'm not nearly nice and not nearly a pony. But if you're talking to Twilight... Oh, let's see. This stash of memories says she killed more griffins that you can imagine. A very talented battle mage, a trained soldier too. Very fit and somewhat athletic, carrying all this ammo and working out in boot camp. Her magical capacity is something unbelievable. Intelligence is extremely high, for a pony. Overall, a pretty damn good body to be in, don't you think? So try again."

"Okay. I don't question your ability to tear me apart right now, but I question your sense of righteousness. I'm a doctor, after all. It's not okay to kill doctors."

"Well, true, but I can live with killing a few thousand doctors in my lifetime... Although, you're surprisingly innocent. It would really stain my reputation to kill an innocent being. I'm Vendetta, not Genocide. Keep talking."

"Would you really ruin the fine clothing you're in with blood?"

"It's a straightjacket. It's not fine. It's not fine at all. But... Yes, I've just had a shower. I don't want to be soaked with blood again... Okay, doctor. You've successfully talked me out of killing you. Now this is really something to be proud of."

"I'm proud of many things, Twilight. This is not the first and not the last time I've talked somepony out of doing something rash."

"...You know what? We might just get along."

"Glad to hear."

"What's the next question of your quiz?"

"Your relationship with your parents."

"Oh, this is totally cliche! Next!"

"Were you abused as a foal?"

"Aside from having her books taken from her during bedtime? No, I couldn't find anything."

"Now, Twilight, my very favorite! I'm going to show you a picture and you tell me what you see, okay?"

"Fine, why not?"

"What about this one?"

"A splash of blood."

"And this?"

"Muzzle flash of a Unicorn Assault Carabine Mark 6."

"Okay... This?"

"A vagina."

"Interesting... What about this?"

"Cotton candy."

"Wow. And this one?"

"Bowels."

"And the last one?"

"Tears."

"Well, nice, nice. Thank you very much for cooperation, Twilight. Now you can return to your room."

"When will I be released?"

"When you're not sick."

"Fair enough."

Twilight exhaled sharply and lost focus on the battle. A whole memory pattern was now open in her mind.

Vendetta, what the fuck!? It's not the best time to give me back my own memories you took from me, okay?

Shut up, it's not like I can control it! Now get back to--

A hoof to the face!

But unlike the previous hooves, this one hit like a hoof-sized bullet. Twilight flew into the concrete wall, oozing blood from numerous gashes. Her nose was bleeding as well. She spat a tooth out.

Now I'm starting to realize how Pinkie lost some of her teeth.

How observant of you. Now fight! And... I'm... I'm sorry, okay? I'll try to give it all back when there's no white dude to fight.

Wow, you actually apologized. Oh my. You know things are bad when Vendetta starts being polite.

Ah, shut up.

Twilight rose back and was immediately thrown into a three-pony hurricane of hooves, heads and helmets.

"Dashie, love, don't just fucking stand there, okay?" Pinkie shouted. "Shoot him!"

"I did!" Dash replied. "And his armor is too thick, and I could end up shooting you too, and you know I suck at melee, and..."

"Fuck!" Pinkie growled and punched the soldier into the air. He landed with a thud and a little shockwave of dust. He got up quickly though, not giving the two any chance to end him while he was on the floor. His movements haven't slowed down, like he couldn't feel pain at all.

"ENOUGH!" Came a too familiar Royal Canterlot Shout from the shadows. The white stallion froze on his hooves. Literally, he froze in mid-punch, without any warning. Pinkie, who was just trying to punch him again, flew straight through his half-transparent body. What? Shadowhorn magic? Here? But there are no shadowhorns around, right?

Yeah, this is strange.

"Nice zap," said another voice.

"Thank you, darling," the first one answered.

Two nightponies came out of the dark. Twilight and Pinkie froze too, but not because of freaky dark spells engulfing them like the white soldier.

"There is a train coming tomorrow at noon. You know what to do," the batpony stallion said to Dash.

"Sorry for not being able to help right away," the shadowhorn mare apologized to the fighter duo. "I had to wait until he was in the shadow. Good thing Pinkie doesn't like daylight lamps."

"Here are the details," the other one carried on and gave a note to the cyan pegasus. "You'll find an old friend trapped inside.”

"What, another one?" Pinkie asked unamusedly.

"Turns out, you have a lot of friends."

BANG!

A bullet flew through the Combine's body as if he wasn't there at all. Everyone looked at Rainbow Dash.

"What? I had to try," she said, putting the hoofgun down.

"He is in stasis, there is nothing you can do to him. You have to go," the mare said. "Oh, and also..." She turned to Twilight. "Good to have you aboard."

Then they both jumped into the dark corner.

"Hey! Wait!" Twilight asked. "Come back!"

"No use." Dash sighed. "They can travel through shadow world, or something... Freaky."

"Hey, stop wasting time and let's get outta here!" Pinkie shouted, trotting around and shoving seemingly random objects into her numerous pockets. "He's gonna come back any minute now! Twilight, you wanted to see the rest of my project? Today is your lucky day, because you're going to be hauling it!"

Our adventures only seem to be starting now, aren't they?

Yes. Yes, they are.

"What a delightful night!" Princess Luna sang, dancing around the throne. She laughed, throwing her hooves around and hugging every Night Guard pony who dared to stand close enough.

"A-hem." A big shadowhorn stallion said, holding a scroll in his magical grasp. "Sorry to interrupt, Your Wisdom, but..."

"Oh, I assure you, colonel, this is quite fine!" she almost yelled in his face, sweeping him off his hooves and waltzing with him across the room. "I've never felt so good about ponykind being in grave danger! Although..." She abruptly stopped, the poor colonel falling face first on the floor. "What a cruel, cruel Princess I am," she mumbled, looking nowhere in particular.

"Your Wisdom, shall we retaliate like I've proposed months ago?" came a somewhat annoyed voice from the floor. Some ponies helped their colonel up and he came closer to Princess Luna. "We've infiltrated Ponyville like you ordered, we've assisted local Resistance, we've acquired enough hostile technology to determine their level of scientific advancement, we've..."

"Oh, shush," she gently wrapped a wing over his muzzle and tickled his nose, resulting in a loud sneeze and a burst of laughter from the soldiers. "Colonel, you've been there yourself, haven't you?"

"Several times, yes."

"I want to go for a walk, which hiking outfit would you suggest?" she asked. He thought for a little while.

"Well, what do you want to do during your, e-e-er, walk?"

"Oh, nothing too extreme. See some old friends, help them out of a trouble, maybe blow up a city or two. The usual." She waved her hoof dismissively.

"I would advise Royal Nightmare, Lucid Dreamer or Moonshine," he finally said after a long pause. "You could wear Lunar Stomper, but it's not suitable for keeping a low profile. If you want to come barging through the main gate and attract all the attention to yourself, then of course yes. But that's rarely been your style."

"Yes, I've always found Lunar Stomper a bit too flashy." She sighed. "All right, then please get Lucid Dreamer ready for me." He saluted and almost went away. "No, wait! Moonshine! I want to wear Moonshine this time!" He nodded and turned. "No, no, no, Royal Nightmare! I'm a Princess after all, right?"

"I'll do it, Your Wisdom."

"No! Colonel, wait!" She buried her face in her hooves. "Oh, I can't decide!"

"I'll get Lucid Dreamer, mistress." He deadpanned.

"Wait!"

"No!" he suddenly yelled in a Royal Canterlot Voice. "This time you're going to wear Lucid Dreamer! Dark blue is fashionable this season!" And with that he trotted away.

Luna stood there dumbfounded. She shook her head and asked herself, "How does he even know?"

"A stash of fashion magazines in his quarters..." somepony answered. "Uh, Your Wisdom."

A mare in Civil Protection uniform stood sternly on a dark corner, with her hoofgun's safety unlocked. Many things could go wrong now, but she didn't care.

"Officer A-1031?" a low distorted voice rang from the sidewalk. A stallion in dirty and a little damaged white armor stood there, looking at her with his single eye in the helmet.

"Elite soldier BR-05," she answered, nodding. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes. It is a private matter. At ease," he ordered. Applejack felt the tension in her body easing up. "Is there a place we can talk? Without supervision." He shot a brief look at the scanners flying here and there over their heads.

"I think there is. If you are okay with, uh, taking a little break from your, uh, service." She scratched the back of her head.

"I am quite okay with it. Lead the way."

They deepened into the narrow slums, taking seemingly random turns.

"I've never been to this part of Central before," the elite soldier commented.

"Don't fall back and you will be okay, otherwise you are a goner," the mare answered, not looking back. "We have to take certain precautions."

They fell silent again. After a few minutes of walking cirles, she finally went into a dirty door, vandalized with anti-Combine graffiti. The Overwatch duo took a staircase down. It was dark, with almost no light at all, so they could barely see crude writings on the walls around them. A very low ceiling made the Elite Soldier lower his head to the mare's level.

"Where do you think you're going?" a big stallion from the shadows asked with a sound of hoofgun being loaded.

"It's okay, Thunderlane, it's me," Applejack answered. "Relax."

"I'm not talking to you, AJ. I'm talking to him."

Thunderlane was smaller than the elite soldier, but he was brave enough to stand in his way, eyeing him.

"He's with me."

"Should I use force?" The soldier asked monotonously.

"No. Chill out, both of you!" she barked.

"I'll keep an eye on you, pal. Try anything funny and you get one in the eye."

"Do you have Confirmation 11-C from the Council, allowing you to have a non-neuro firearm?"

"Kiss my ass."

"Officer, is that a socially acceptable form of answer?"

"Yes," she grumbled. "Now can we just go?"

Thunderlane reluctantly stepped aside and let them pass. They entered a basement room with tables and a counter in the middle.

"Is that a bar?" the soldier asked.

Everypony suddenly ceased talking and looked at the pair.

"Take your mask off," she said, taking off hers.

"What? I can't, not when everyone's looking," he said in a hushed rasp.

"Now!" she hissed and nudged him hard in the side.

He sighed and undid the clamps holding it in place. A very pale red face looked out of it. One of his green eyes was tired and bloodshot, the other one was an orange orb with some alien tech inside. His expression was as blank as his low-pitched voice.

And suddenly, everypony was looking in another direction.

They proceeded to the nearest empty table and sat down, with everyone in the room deliberately avoiding any eye contact with the two.

"So, what is it you wanted to talk with me about?" Applejack asked as two mugs of cider appeared on their table.

The soldier put his mask on the table. "Here is the footage of the battle I've been in earlier today. Faces seem familiar, but I can't figure out why. You have much more left from the old life than I do, maybe you can assist."

Applejack took the mask in her hooves. It was scorched, scratched, battered and was in crappy shape overall. It was too big for her so she had to hold it with her hooves. Red interface blinked to life and showed her a wall of text in Combine. Her below-average language skills could only decipher words 'boot', 'big' and 'today'. This is what you get for sleeping through most Civil Protection language classes. She was never good at school.

"Can't see anything yet," she commented, looking at the text running in front of her eyes. The red glow made her eyes hurt. "No, wait."

There was some movement in front of her eyes. She could make out the Combine soldiers and a tight corridor.

"On position," one of them said. "Note. The BR-06 unit is connected to this frequency. She knows we're here."

The camera moved closer to the door, turned around and the wearer bucked it open.

"So, you've found me, huh? Took you long enough." A very familiar pony appeared in the picture, dressed in a coverall suit.

"That must be Pinkie Pie. Went crazy again, huh? Can't exactly blame her..."

"Shut up," the camera said. The battle broke out, but Pinkie was too fast for the metrocop to keep track of.

"The fu-u-uck?!" a boyish voice shouted from somewhere off-picture.

"Rainbow Dash? Yep, that must be her. Ain't nopony got a foul mouth like hers," Applejack mumbled. In a minute, a new familiar face appeared on the video, and she couldn't believe her eyes. "No, this can't be!" She put the mask off and whacked it against the table.

"What?"

"It's Twilight Sparkle. You probably don't remember that name, though," she answered, downing the mug.

"I actually do," the red stallion said, not touching his. "Twilight Sparkle, twenty five years old, main occupation - Her Radiance Princess Celestia's military, volunteered to the military at the age of twenty two, fighting at the Northern Border with Griffin Kingdom since twenty three, admitted to Canterlot City Asylum two weeks ago with an unspecified disorder, mission: extract and bring to processing, current status: held in captivity, correction, escaped, personal note: won't shut up, use of non-lethal force authorised and recommended, a skilled fighter, able to put down a whole squad of troops, use caution." He breathed in after his huge and fast rant.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait..." Applejack put a hoof down on the table. Hard. "What? Twilight Sparkle? The, no offense to her, dorkiest dork in the world? Military? This is so unlike her."

"Facts provided by the Overwatch servers do not lie. She was able to put down my whole squad," he fiddled with the mug. "Why does this name sound so familiar?"

"You used to have a crush on her in the old life. Made me tell you everything about her," Applejack smiled.

"I see," he said. Both were silent for a moment, the mare was knocking the table rhythmically. "Did it end well?"

"You never mustered up enough courage to actually ask her out."

"I used to be a coward? Funny. I still am."

"Oh, don't say that," Applejack put her hoof on his. "You're the bravest stallion I know."

"No. I'm just very good at following orders

Applejack just held his hoof.

Button Mash coughed and coughed. He just had a long tube removed from his throat and it took a lot of effort to breathe on his own again. Tears of pain ran down his cheeks as his eyes hurt madly. After a very long while, though, he was finally able to stand on his own, if very unsteady, legs.

"Button. Listen, Button. Hey," a a high-pitched voice said from somewhere above. "You have to go. The Overwatch will be there soon."

He cracked one eye open and started moving. Slowly at first, then faster and faster. He was getting his walking skills back.

"I've stimulated your muscles and machinery before releasing you, so it's going to come to you soon. You just keep going."

"You sti--" he fell victim to a violent fit of coughing. "You stimulated my what?" His voice was hoarse.

"Your muscles and machinery. Well, duh, every foal in Machine Control Facility gets basic enhancements, otherwise you wouldn't be able to connect to the mainframe. You've got neurosockets and life support."

"Does this mean I am a cyborg?" he asked.

"Turn left now. Technically yes, you are a cyborg."

"Wow!" He managed a smile. "Sweet! What can I do? Shoot lasers out of my hooves?"

"No. But I've uploaded a lot of useful stuff into your little head. Little colts and fillies can soak information up like a sponge! What you do with all of this is up to you. Turn right."

"I can't remember anything. Are you sure you gave me something?"

"Yes. It'll come when you need it."

Button just walked. As his eyes grew stronger, he was able to open them both and look around. Metallic pods, just like the one he used to be in, were everywhere. He was walking down a corridor made entirely out of navy blue-ish metal, like in that game, the name of which he couldn't quite recall. He looked at himself. His coat was brown, as usual, his gamepad cutie mark was the same, but his body felt very different, compared to the dream reality of the pod. He also had strange little metallic thingies all over his skin. Neurosockets, he realized.

"Take the door on your left."

He turned and saw a very generic and unnoticeable grey door. It took some effort to raise his forehoof to the doorknob and turn it, but after several attempts, he finally managed to do so and get inside. It was a very spacious storeroom with many crates inside it, but what caught his eye was a sobbing young mare on the floor. At first he didn't recognize her, but what gave him a hint were little underdeveloped wings and orange fur. He did know her after all. His greatest rival for the past... How long was it?

He sat (or gracefully fell on his butt) beside her and stroked her mane uncertainly. He was a little unsure about what to do with females. His videogame experience told him that all it takes is the right word. So he decided to find the most right ones for her. Even though she was a bitch.

Her teeth clenched and she opened her wet eyes.

"Hey," he said. "What's up, why's the crying?"

"L-look ar-round..." she whispered. "Is that s-some sort of a dream too? I c-can't believe it..." She slammed her eyelids shut again and shivered. Her hoof was trying to tear away a socket from the back of her head. "I can't do this! It's too much to ask of me, alright!?"

"Scoots. Hey. Look at me." He lifted her head and she looked at him again. "You beat my highscores, okay? It takes a radical bitch to do that and if you could win against me then there's nothing you can't do. Okay?"

"Button, this ain't a game! Those dudes ain't stupid bots and I ain't some sort of a Doomguy with guns all over his ass! Button, you..." she sniffed and wiped her eyes. "You seem so cool with all this. How?

"Life's a game," Button reasoned. "With awesome next-gen graphics, physics and realism. Think about it, everything you wanted to do in a game, but couldn't, it's in the real life! And now we get a stupid cool adventure right in front of us!"

"Hey, yeah..." she blinked. A small smile crossed her features. She rose to her hooves, with buck's help. "You know what? You're alright, faggot."

"Not so bad yourself, bitch."

They both smirked.