The Alicorn of Musicby auntiepicklebottomChaptersMy LifeRebornThe CircleThe CafeteriaRunningBrillianceMy LifeShit happens... Not only does shit happen, but shit stops things up, smells bad, brings you pain, and worst of all, knows very little relent. Everyone deals with shit once in a while. I do, you do, she does, he does. We're the only thing that keeps the shit flowing due to our basic need to eat, only I'm not talking about biodegradable body waste, I'm talking about real problems like war, murder, and all the other things that (unlike actual shit) aren't so easily forgotten about. My life, or rather, my toilet, was so clogged up with shit that no amount of plunging or chemical treatment could undo the damage that had been done. The only way to fix the problem would be to remove the toilet and put a new one in it's place. I pondered replacing my toilet daily. I had a plan, the tools needed, the motivation, even a specific date and time to do it, but every time I would get to that moment, I would hesitate. A voice in my head just kept saying, "Something else is out there!", and I would never cease to listen. It's not that I thought that I had a bad life, it's just that I was a massive hermit of social awkwardness. I was under the assumption that my situation was normal and that I had no real reason for being as depressed as I was, but the fact that I was an only child that had grown up with no other family besides my parents (who just left me by myself most of the time) and the fact that I hadn't practiced ANY methods of social interaction beyond small talk had really taken a toll on my perceptions of things. Not to mention that I was an on an off drug addict for about 10 years. Yup, I had been using since I was 15 years old, be it methamphetamine, alcohol, sleeping pills, some new research chemical, air duster, and you guessed it... Pot! Not that marijuana is all that addicting, but for me it was anything that would help me escape from the reality I was living in. At that point, all I ever wanted in life was a friend, but ever since my last true friend shot herself about a year before my drug use started, going out of my way to make new ones was just something I didn't do out of fear that whoever became my friend would leave me like the last one. ... 11 years went by since her passing and I was living in a trailer park in a decent suburb. A little upscale for my taste, but what could I do? I never had people over, nor did I really care to. My desire for friendship was still there, but I guess I was just too lazy to chance it. My only human interactions during that time were with the employees I worked with at a fast food restaurant... I was one of the managers so I guess you could say that they worked for me, but being the boss of a bunch of stubborn teenagers wasn't really the best way to make friends. That and the fact that being the one in charge of any major establishment involving youth automatically deems you, "the asshole". But back to the toilet thing. Most of the unsettling things that happened to me in the past were long hidden away. I thought about them from time to time, but never actually got too deep into the thoughts to care as much as I used to. The thing that made me want to get rid of the plumbing so much was the fact that my life was boring and lonely. It was the same routine every day, with not very much free time to spare, but even if I had free time, what could I have done with it other than just sit in my trailer? It got to the point where I found myself enjoying being a drone at my job more than having time to myself. I could not have gone out to make friends. I had a difficult time looking people my age in the eye let alone conversing with them. Believe me when I say that I had a massive handicap. I had no concept of realistic social interaction back then, and this story would be almost complete nonsense and illegibility had I been writing about these events as they were happening. I considered that 25 years of age was too old to make something of myself and that conforming to what society wanted was the right thing to do. I had given up on any of my former dreams and goals. I was very lucky and fortunate with the job I had anyway, and I wasn't about to go and risk it after all the hard work I did to get it. I felt terrible. Terrible, because I thought that a boring and lonely life was nothing to feel terrible over. I looked at myself in the mirror every morning and saw a miserable face staring back at me that would always say, "Grow up and stop whining." Deep inside, I still wanted to leave this world and cease to exist. ... I was sitting on the cheap couch I had purchased from a flea market some time ago while wearing my work uniform precisely according to the employee manual's instructions. It was a little too early for me to head over to my job, so I decided to go fill up my gas tank and buy a bag of potato chips. When I arrived, the "gas station" process went about as usual: slide card, unscrew tank cap, place hose in the tank, and waste my money. However, as I finished up and was removing the nozzle from my tank, I noticed a small orange bottle sticking out of an already full trash can. I took a second glance only to see that this was someone's prescription. At third glance, I had recognized the three pills inside of the bottle as Oxycontin 80mg. I had not used any opiates since I was 22. Not because I wanted to quit, but because my dealer had a child and wanted to make sure that it stayed safe. But being the person with the "do" instead of the "think" instinct, I made one of the worst mistakes of my life... Forgetting about the potato chips, I quickly drove home and spilled the pills out into my hand, sucked off the protective coating that gilded the oxy, crushed up the pills on a small mirror with an old credit card, and cut the white powder into 6 very clean lines. I rolled up the five dollar bill that I was originally going to purchase the potato chips with into a small straw and stuck it up my left nostril... The burn I got when insufflating opiates like oxycodone never hurt as much as other drugs like crystal meth or alaprozam. Anyway, I finished inhaling the crushed up oxycontin and sat back while I waited for the effects to kick in. The familiar sense of opiate-induced well-being took over my body in a warm rush of orgasmic bliss. I felt my body go numb as my stomach began to feel like it had a smiley face in it. I closed my eyes and let the effects of the drug take me. At the peak of my pleasure, I remembered that I still had to go to work! I knew I shouldn't have been driving, however, the thought of those stupid teenagers messing things up with out a leader to coordinate their actions alone made my head hurt, even with the effect of the painkillers still running. I wobbled up, grabbed my keys, and left. ... I had been out of the opiates path of terror for 3 years, and one thing I forgot was that after that long of a break, your tolerance goes down... I woke up in a hospital bed with all kinds of suction cups attached to me, an IV in my arm, some kind of clamp thing on my finger, and a woman sitting in the corner of the room who hadn't yet noticed my sudden awareness. I wasn't sure if I should have made my presence be known, or if I should have just waited this one out, but my cocky instincts took over as I managed to mutter an "ugghelllo?" sort of sound. She heard me and without a word, fled the room almost immediately returning with 2 older men and another woman. The 4 people stood above me with a look of indifference on their faces. The dialogue between us was short lasting and unimportant, and with a few more hours of being tested, evaluated by a psychiatrist, a prescription for some antidepressant called escitalopram, and the signing of a few papers... I was on my way home. I was told that I had overdosed and landed in a ditch right outside of my trailer. Apparently they got me out of the car right before I was about to drown in my own vomit. At the time, the only thing that I was really upset about was the fact that they didn't just let me drown. To this day, I still have no idea how my job got this information, but the corporate offices found out about my drug problem and fired me. On a side note, the other employees completely screwed up their work shift duties. It may not seem like that big of a deal to lose a job as a fast food restaurant manager, but I was pretty upset about it... That job had literally been my only instrument of accomplishment, and it had been flushed away at least 30 times faster than it had taken for me to get the job. Finding a new job that would pay my bills? Not in this economy. Getting roommates? Ha! Going to rehab? I don't have that kind of money. Becoming homeless? Likely... Pretty much everything I had ever worked for as an adult was lost, and I was no where in my right mind to go looking. ... The months passed by with was no emotion left in me... Not happy or sad, just a complete state of dissociation in which enveloped my entire lifestyle. I had no push to do anything. I would get up on occasion to eat and drink, but only barely, and by the end of the third month jobless, I had lost almost 50 pounds. Finally, the 24 hour eviction notice came along. There wasn't a sudden realization that I needed to get my life back in order, or some kind of mind-altering epiphany. It was just sort of an "oh well it was bound to happen sooner or later" situation. I had fully grasped what was going on, but I just didn't care. The 24 hours was counting down as I simply walked out of my house with nothing but the clothes on my back and watched some people drive up to the trailer, go inside, take pictures, change the lock, and put some sort of sign on the door with writing that was too small to read from where I was standing. ... This was the point for me where I had totally given up... They took away most of my physical possessions, and I had allowed drugs and self-pity to take away everything else, so I took a walk. I didn't really have a destination point, but after a while I found myself looking at the apartment building I grew up in as a child. The old complex stood gravely as memories of life and death were the cause of it's ever fading luster. It appeared as if nobody had lived there in a while, and there a ladder on the side of the building that lead up to the roof. Do you remember the toilet metaphor? I began to climb the ladder, higher and higher. I was very tired and undernourished, so it took a lot of strength out of me. However, I eventually reached the top. I walked to the edge of the roof and looked down at the far away ground. I was at least 70 or 80 feet up. This was it. No plan, no time, no date. Just the "do" instinct that I had always had. I was finally going to break free from these chains I thought I was bound in. I flew off the edge as all of my inhibitions left my body. My life didn't flash before my eyes and I didn't feel regret, all I felt was this profound sense of freedom that spread carelessly through my emotions... This was probably my very first time experiencing real happiness since I was at least 17 years old. Even though the time from when I jumped from the building to when I crashed to the ground was very minimal, It felt like forever. It's not that I was scared, but instead so very eager and full of anticipation to leave this world. The ground came closer and closer, and right before I could experience hitting it... Black. ... I floated through what felt like the very fabric of every trans-dimensional possibility which I believe to have been infinitely more massive that the millions of galaxies with billions of stars with billions of planets with trillions of moons with google-complexities of possibilities that we call the universe... This was not the universe, this was existence itself as a whole, and I was experiencing every part of it at once. Words do not describe what this felt like. I wasn't a body or a soul, I was just another piece of this fabric that had a one in every possible number chance of having the gift of perception. I was just there, somehow able to know what was happening. No other part of me had come along. There wasn't any emotions or memories of anything... I mean, they were there but just not as important or noticeable as to what was happening at that very moment. The only way to sum it up is by saying, "This is everything, everything is this." My perception then began to float higher and higher, gaining speed. Trillions and quadrillions of light years I sped upwards, all in a matter of milliseconds, or hours, or years? I guess I had left my perception of time back home along with my body. I had reached the highest point of the highest place of existence, I looked upon the vast plain of everything. It looked at me, too. Then, as fast (or as slow) as I had gone up, I fell. It seemed as if I was falling faster (or slower) than I had risen upwards. I continued falling, reaching the lowest point of everything, and then I noticed that I was falling towards something like looked much like a surface of some sort. It was approaching much like the ground had done to me on Earth. The vast void of existence dissipated as I slammed into the surface, and much like what had happened before, everything was black. RebornI felt my consciousness regaining. The feeling of a body slowly returned, limb by limb. I felt my eyelids, which were closed. I heard a heart monitor in the background. I knew that I was laying down. I knew what was going on. I knew that I was terrified. I was even more terrified to lift my eyelids. I didn't want to look at myself and see what a deformity I had become. I was worried that I was going to live the remainder of my life as a clam unable to move by myself, feed myself, dress myself, clean myself, use the toilet by myself! There was a talking in the distance that was difficult to understand, but then I heard a word. One word in the form of a question. "Doctor?" This was when reality hit me, which was by far the most terrifying and disappointing moment of my life. I was completely taken over by fear and anger. A tear found it's way outside from behind my still closed eyelid, and then another. I began muttering the word "no" under my breath. The word became slightly louder with more tears to follow, and right as I was about to lose it, I felt something touch my arm. My reflexes made me swat back at it. "At least I have my arms", I thought. Then whoever was in the room said, "Woah, it's okay. You can trust me... I'm a doctor." "Why did this happen?", I was sobbing. "Why am I here? The doctor chuckled, "I was hoping you could tell me." "No... I fell so far." "Ha. Apparently they found you passed out and severely dehydrated in the Everfree Forest!" What? I thought to myself. Was my brain playing a trick on me? Had I actually become insane? Right when I was about to start crying again, there was a minor but sudden pain as I felt the doctor take an IV needle out of my arm. Instinctively, I opened my eyes. "There you go!", said the doctor, "Nice and-" "WHAT?!", I interjected. He was a brown, talking horse with HUGE, glistening eyes. Behind him stood two more horses. One pink and one blue... I was about to flip out in a way that I hadn't since my barbiturate withdrawals a couple of years ago when I suddenly remembered. My Little Pony. It was a television show that I had often read about on internet forums. The show itself wasn't ever really the topic of discussion, but instead it's unique group of fans. They were mostly older men... I never actually watched the show, but I had seen enough screen captions and fan art to recognize it. There was a broad spectrum of hallucinogenic drug experience in my past, and I was pretty sure that I knew the difference between something real and the effect of a drug... It felt very real, but I still wasn't sure if the doctors had just given me too much morphine or something. I stopped myself from continuing on and looked at him. He looked at me. "Are you okay?", he asked. I responded, "Are you a talking pony that's also a doctor?" The doctor stared at me for a moment. "Um... Yes?" "Then, uh... What?", I said more to myself then I did him, I didn't really know what to say. "Yes?", the doctor asked. "Um. I-I don't know", I said. "Well, everything seems to be just fine, maybe you're still a little dehydrated. What in Equestria were you doing in the forest all alone anyway?" "I. Uh, what?" "Here, have some water." He reached down and picked up a glass of water with his hooves, stood on his hind legs, and motioned for me to take it. I reached out to take it and almost pissed myself doing so. "Oh no... A hoof...", I thought. I stopped, and stared at my arm. I pushed off the blanket I was under to see if my hunch was true. Of course I was right. "I'm... I'm a pony.", I stammered. "Ha," the doctor laughed again, "Yes, yes you are!" Realizing that I couldn't simply grab the glass with one hoof, I sat up and used my other one to carefully hold it. It felt like I was under a lot of pressure at the time, and that maybe water was what I needed. I slowly tipped the glass forward, trying not to tremble too much and end up spilling the water. I could see and feel an extended mussel between my eyes, and It was weird to synchronize my hooves to my new mouth, but eventually, I took a drink. It tasted like water, it went down like water, it was water. Only there was a different mouth drinking it. I looked back up at the doctor and asked, "So when can I leave?" The doctor looked back and said, "Pretty soon, we just have to get you checked out first." "So, is there a mirror I could use?" "There's a washroom behind the last door down the hall on your right." I sort of rolled off the bed and stood up on two legs for a moment, realized that wouldn't work for a split second, and fell down on all fours. I thought to myself, "Okay... one step at a time." Walking surprisingly came with much ease. Try to picture what it's like to walk on all fours, except your neck it arched up and it doesn't hurt to stay that way for long periods of time. I'm sure I looked rather strange with my "can't-stop-looking-at-my-legs" walking technique, but at least I was moving. I exited the room and saw the last door down the hall to my right, and proceeded to it. I entered the room and found a large mirror almost immediately. At first, It was rather difficult to comprehend what I saw. Looking back at me was a blue colored, yellow and purple haired, green-eyed horse... With a horn. To this day, I'm not sure why, but my first reaction was to open my mouth. I looked inside and saw the inside of a horse's mouth. Real as day... Then I looked over to my rear end and saw a tail. It felt like some sort of movable spine extension, which is really the only way to describe it. Ironically, it wasn't until just then when I thought, "Why on Earth am I in a television show made for little girls?" I knew some people took the show seriously, but I highly doubt that this was the reason. Coming to senses, I felt the urge to leave the hospital. I walked out of the room and for a moment thought, "Oh crap! I'm naked! They must have taken... Oh yeah." I didn't go back to my room but instead found a staircase that led me downwards. After the first flight of stairs, I quickly found the exit when I noticed that it wasn't very monitored by the hospital officials. This was a little strange to me at first but I was still in the process of accepting that things here were very different from back home. I casually walked out of the hospital and found myself in a very bright and colorful town. I still was not sure if this was real or not, but my mind was still numb. I'm not sure if I did what I was about to do because I was ready to completely lose it, or just because I didn't have the willpower to care about what I thought was acceptable at the time. The CircleThe townsfolk were walking and talking amongst themselves much like I had imagined they would do on any other normal day. I gave myself a moment to take it all in. That is, until I felt a sudden wave of anger rush over me. "Why would this happen to me?", I asked myself out loud. "Why can't I just die?" Thoughts like these began running through my head faster than I could process. "So many people who love life die every single day!" "So first I accidentally live and now I'm insane?" "Where can I find a joint? Or at least a cigarette?" I was getting ready to flip out. Only this time, It was really going to happen. The fear and anger built up inside me like a soda can in a freezer, and there was going to be a mess- "Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba!", I sang in a pitch so well tuned that even a professional pop singer would be impressed. All the ponies stopped momentarily, looked at me with a slight confusion, and then sang back in perfect unison, "Sithi uhm ingonyama!" I wasn't exactly sure of what had happened, but this made me even more upset than I already was. So what did I do? I tried to yell back at them, of coarse. "Nants ingonyama bagithi baba!", I sang yet again in perfect pitch. "Sithi uhhmm ingonyama!", The crowd replied. "Siyo Nqoba!" The crowd began chanting the phrase, "Ingonyama nengw' enamabala." I was left sitting there, completely flabbergasted, wondering why I was singing, what I was saying, and why all of these horses were able to join in with me like they had been waiting for this moment to happen. I pondered the thought of walking back inside the hospital, but was too shocked to do so much as even move. All the creatures began dancing around what appeared to be a zebra. "So we have fucked up little zebras too?", I thought. When I was certain that they had forgotten about me, the zebra began singing a melody above the choral harmony that the other ponies were chanting. "From the day we arrive on the planet, and blinking, step into the sun. There's more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than can ever be done!" It occurred to me that they were singing "The Circle of Life" from the Lion King. I sat down outside the hospital and watched the events play out in front of me. "Interesting", I whispered, no longer controlled by anger. It felt good to not be upset anymore. So good, that I may have cracked a smile, quite possibly the first smile to appear on my face since I was promoted manager at the fast food restaurant. Half way through the song (which was sang quite well), I heard a voice behind me, "There he is!" I turned around to see the horse doctor followed by two much larger horses with a look on their faces that told me they weren't about to ask nicely. My smile was replaced by a grimace. "Either you can walk back in here and finish the evaluation or you can be carried back in and strapped down until we believe you are ready for the evaluation.", the doctor said. The doctor said this in a way that told me he had said it several times to other patients in the exact same predicament I was in. (How about they just block the exit or something?) Anyway, I could tell that I was not about to make an easy escape. I had run from the cops before, but the two horses behind the doctor had wings! "Why would a place like this exist?", I thought. I was never much a suck-up until recently, and I really did not want to go back in there. Even though I had a small chance of getting away, I realized that those odds were not worth the risk. So I calmly approached the doctor. "Let's go.", I said. "Thank you, I really mean that. I hate seeing my patients hurting themselves while trying to tussle with these guys.", The doctor looked back at the two hospital guards who were still staring at me with the same expression as before. I walked back inside the hospital with the doctor, the two guards still following us from behind. I looked at the doctor, "I apologize for what happened. Perhaps a mental evaluation is something I've needed for a while now." "A mental evaluation? No no no, this isn't that kind of hospital. All we need to do is check to make sure your horn didn't get damaged!", the doctor replied. "Huh? oh...", I looked up to see the tip of it sticking over the edge of my vision. "Yes indeed, we all know how much damage a damaged horn can cause." "Yes, of course." We walked down the hallway I used to navigate towards the restroom earlier, but instead of going back to the room I woke up in, we continued passed it until I found myself walking through a cafeteria of some sort. When all of a sudden, I heard a loud buzzing sound. "Uhh, please wait here for just one moment.", the doctor said nervously as he and the guards ran back towards the area I was in before. I suppose it was the ER section of the hospital. So I sat on my haunches by a bench and waited... And waited... And waited... Until the idea of leaving the hospital again began turning into a real temptation. However, my willpower must have stayed outside in The Circle of Life; I didn't feel like running, I just felt like sitting and thinking. Thinking about all the events that had taken place in the last 24 hours of my perception. I looked around the room. At this point, the cafeteria was completely empty. It was just me, the cafeteria benches, and a piano in the corner of the room. A piano. The CafeteriaI played the piano for a few years in high school, but I never got very good at it. All though I did get to the point where I could play a few simple songs, they never sounded like I wanted them to sound like. In my mind, I had composed hundreds of little tunes to keep it occupied. Even though these songs would never be played, I still found enjoyment in collecting my thoughts to a tempo and a harmony... This is where my story truly begins. I slowly approached the piano, looking around to see if anyone was watching me, pulled out the bench, and brought up a hoof to press one of the keys. I failed at it miserably and ended up hitting three or four of them. Normally, I would have left the piano alone and never return to it again, but the thought of "If it can't be played, then why is it here?", kept crossing my mind. That and the fact that my mind doesn't process boredom very easily. After fiddling with the clunky keys of the very out of tune, upright piano, I became frustrated and plopped my head down on them. "Ouch", I said forgetting about the horn thing. I lifted my head back up and stared at the keys for a bit longer. There was still a lack of sentience in the room, so I continued poking the keys at random. After about ten minutes of this I was finally bored of the awful noises coming from the thing, so I closed my eyes and rested my head on the music holder. My mind began drifting on it's own as I pondered what it might have been like if I continued pursuing the goal of getting well at playing music. This thought kept repeating and amplifying itself over an over again in the strangest way. Eventually, the thought became so overpowering that it almost felt like a physical feeling. I opened my eyes and looked at the piano once more, only this time I was frustrated at it. "Why can't you think about something else, brain?", I said out loud. The thought continued getting stronger and stronger until eventually a migraine began to form. "Perfect", I thought. The headache grew while the thought persisted. About five minutes of this and I was almost panicking. I wanted to run back to the ER, but my own thoughts were limiting me from doing so. It was as if I needed to do something with this piano. Hoping to find relief, I began uncontrollably pounding the keys with my hoofs. The sound echoed throughout the room, which only made the pains grow more intense. Finally, it became so strong that I felt nauseous. "Shit, here it comes.", I said. Right before I was about to blow chunks all over myself, I felt a combination of pressure and euphoria behind my eyes. This feeling began traveling upwards when I noticed a bright blue glow above me. I looked up to try and see what it was only for it to leave my sight exactly when I turned my head. I soon realized that my horn was the culprit... It felt like it was going to explode! "Shit! Shit! Shit! SHIT! My horn's damaged!", I almost screamed. I saw a beam of blue light shoot from it and then cover the piano in an aura of the same color. After a few seconds, the pain subsided. I was, however, a little too freaked out to notice. What really got me was how I began to feel the piano without actually touching it. I felt like I was on acid or something, which at the time would have made some sense considering all of the preceding occurrences. This feeling wasn't a good or a bad feeling. It was just a feeling of pure connection with the instrument in front of me; like it had been a conjoined twin for my entire life. Another thought came to me, "Play it." Without thinking, I responded. Not with my appendages, but with the feeling of control that was suddenly oscillating around my senses. ... I will never forget the A minor arpeggio that was coming from the piano. It was quite possibly the most beautiful sound I had ever heard, even though the piano was terribly out of tune and in a cafeteria with even more terrible acoustics. I have tried and tried to replay this piece the exact same way as I did, but never will it be the same without the clunky keys of the cafeteria. I still play the tune from time to time with complete accuracy, however, the best a piece of music will ever sound is when it is listened to it for the first time. Sentience is where the trophies of the past are. My emotions had somehow become like a transmission, and the piano was the device of outlet. I was hearing the music through my ears, when I began pondering the thought of changing the chord. As soon as the thought of which chord I wanted to hear became fully understood, the piano began playing it. About a minute or two passed and I decided to change the sound up from basic chord progressions. The piano played highs and lows, with twisting varieties of musical brilliance. I was allowing all of my thoughts from the past that had built up over the years out, and it was becoming superbly intense. "I think I'll call this "The Cafeteria.", I thought humorously. More and more light spilled from my head as the piano was producing increasingly complicated and adverse patterns, but when I heard someone approaching from behind me... Running...everything stopped, along the emotions running the music in the first place. The doctor stood there with his mouth open, as if he was literally giving me his undivided attention. "I suppose we can say your horn is fine now, There are no ways that amount of magic could leave a broken one and not destroy this entire hospital. But it was a really bad idea to use it like that.", he said. "I'm sorry", I replied. "No, no. You're fine... It's just that I've never heard anything quite like what you were just playing. Nor have I seen, or heard of a unicorn playing the piano with magic." The word "unicorn" got my attention. I had been wondering what the word for "horned horse" was ever since I had seen myself in the mirror. It was right on the tip of my tongue but I just couldn't figure it out. "So, am I aloud to leave?", I asked. "Very soon, I just need to get you checked out first", he said. The doctor trotted over to the piano and looked at the keys for a moment, then switched his attention back to me. "Do you know how to play any other instruments?", he asked. "I didn't really know I could play this one", I responded. The doctor gave me a confused smirk as he turned the other way and started walking towards the exit of the cafeteria. "You coming?", he asked without looking at me. "Okay" I said. We began walking towards the exit of the building. The doctor brought me into another room that was reasonably close to the stair case on the bottom floor of the hospital. It was small and had a window with a pony behind it. The doctor proceeded to tell the nurse behind the window how amazing I was at the piano, laugh at a joke that was so bad that it had to have been an inside one, and bring out a piece of paper for me. "Sign here please", the doctor said as he held out an exit slip and a pen with his mouth. "Uh...", I responded. I didn't know how to write anything without my fingers yet. "What's wrong?" "Nothing" I used my mouth to grab the paper and pen, put the paper on the floor, and draw a bunch of scribbled lines that one could only assume was a signature on the paper. "You should come by the hospital again and play music for the children here sometime.", the doctor said. "Sure thing", I said not knowing what else to say. "Great, just stop by any time during the after noon when they eat lunch together." I nodded as we began walking towards the exit. "Just out of curiosity, how old are you?", the doctor asked. "Twenty-five, why?", I asked in return. "Wow, twenty-five? How are you so good at playing the piano and yet still lacking a Cutie Mark?", the doctor motioned towards his rear end. I didn't know what all of those tattoo things were, nor did I ask the doctor what they were. Instead, I accepted the possibility that all of the ponies were forced to get a tattoo before they turn a certain age. The doctor finished walking with me and waved to me as I left the hospital with no place else to go. It was beginning to get dark. ... The town had less ponies in it than when I was out and about earlier. It had only been about an hour back in the hospital but it looked like most of the town's residents were already in bed. I didn't see any clocks anywhere but I had guessed it to be around 8:00 PM. I continued walking around the town until there were no ponies in the streets. The temperature had began to drop at a slow rate which increased my anxiety to a decent level and made me want to rest for a moment. I found a bench and decided to lay on it. "Woah", I said. Laying on my back was really weird, like my body just wasn't made for doing that on such a hard surface. Then I remembered seeing a cream colored pony laying down on a bench during the Lion King incident, so I flipped over and tried to lay down on my stomach with my head leant forward. It wasn't bad at all... Sure, it felt different, but it was a relaxing and comfortable position to be in. ... I wasn't expecting anything to come of that night. I was just hoping that the temperature wouldn't get too low, which had become a serious worry of mine. Even with a body of fur, I was feeling unreasonably chilly. I decided to try walking again in hopes that my body would regulate it's heat better. My efforts failed but they definitely made the cold weather less noticeable. I started running because of my envy of the warm. I'm sure I would have looked strange to any ponies watching at the time, but I didn't really care. It felt good to run, and the best part about running for me was that I didn't know I could run without falling over... Walking was still pretty taboo for me. When I started walking, instinct just kicked in. The next thing I remember was wondering when I started running, but like I said, it felt good to run. I ran like I had been in a wheelchair my entire life. It was as if I had been a bird trapped in a cage who found it's own way out. Not by getting let go, by finding it's OWN way out... By escaping. I continued running for miles and miles, block after block in this pony city. There was a building in the center of what appeared to be a ring of houses. I continued running around this building, amazed by how long I could keep running. I was never much of an adrenaline junkie but just that ability by it's self was amazing to me. So amazing, that my mind had began to play a tune. Not like before when I simply got a headache, but like a clean song playing itself in my brain. Almost like I could actually hear it, but in a bit of a different way. I had accepted the music and let it flow through my thoughts instead of fighting it. The song was played on what sounded like a Spanish Steel and was very relaxing and calm... Almost blissful. It was a different kind of happiness, a freedom kind of happiness. A freedom kind of happiness that was quickly disrupted by the rather disappointed yet curious stare of a brown pony who stopped herself right in front of me. "What in Equestria are you doing?", she asked me in a British accent. Brilliance"Ugh, just running?", I said "Hmm... This late at night?", she replied. "Is it bad to do that?" "Well, no, but it's weird. Why are you out here, anyway?" "I was just... I was using the evening breeze as inspiration for my next song." "Oh really? Well what do you play then, hmm? I bet you're one of those rock n' roll stallions, playing your guitar all night when other ponies are trying to sleep." "Actually-" "I mean quite honestly, who DO you think you are? Running around like a maniac in the middle of the night, causing ruckus in the streets. You should be ash-" "What I was saying is that I play the piano... Mostly Classical music." "Oh... So you mean piece?" "Piece?" "Yes, songs have a main melody and pieces have several. Classical piano music generally falls under the category of "pieces."" "I apologize for doing whatever I did to offend you." "Oh no, your quite fine. Us musicians do what we can to get inspired these days." "So you play as well?" "Yes indeed. I was just heading over to my former roommate's house to see if she had any staff paper, only for her to not be home. Such a shame too, I had the most wonderful idea." "And you don't have any paper of your own?" "I just ran out, so I suppose I'll have another evening without getting any work done." "I apologize." "No you're fine... I was just a little upset. Say, do you live here? I don't remember you from before." "No I don't, how about you?" "I currently live in Canterlot, and I'm staying here because I'm composing a soundtrack for a play in the area. However, I did live here a few years ago... Where is your residence?" "I uh, travel... I'm actually here for that play." "Oh really? Wonderful! I take it you're playing the piano?" "Indeed." "How coincidental, you and I meeting up like this! Would you like to come back to my hotel and familiarize me with your playing techniques?" "Umm..." "I'm sure you'll have a pleasant time, haven't you ever wanted a professional composer to personalize music for you?" "I suppose." "Fantastic! Follow me! By the way, my name is Octavia." She practically dragged me about a half mile towards a large building that seemed to be a little out of place in the pony city. We went inside and walked up way too many flights of stairs for this world to not have elevators. I was exhausted by the time we finally made it to her room, which was obviously the penthouse of the hotel. "I simply love living fancy!", she said. "That's for sure.", I said slightly slack-jawed. The hotel room had a beautiful grand piano in the center of it, complimented by a view of the entire city and what appeared to be an even larger city hanging off the side of a mountain in the distance. "So... Show me what you can do!", she said as she pointed towards the piano. "Okay.", I responded, praying under my breath that I wouldn't make a fool of myself. I walked up to the piano and pulled out the bench, sat down, and stared at the keys. I waited for something to happen, and waited, and waited. "Are you quite all right?", Octavia said with a concerned look on her face. "Fine, I'm just... Trying to figure out what I should play.", I replied. "Well, I wouldn't mind hearing something relaxing, yet full of emotion." "Okay, I'll see what I can do." So I continued trying everything I could to get my horn to light up, but nothing happened. I saw Octavia growing disappointed. "Do you even play?", Octavia said in a half-serious tone. "Look... I'm sorry, it's just that I-" As I said the word "I", I had put a hoof on one of the higher keys. This seemed to do the trick. I got the feeling of stress over making a better sound come from the piano again, but instead of fighting it, I let it flow out of me. Once again, my horn lit up and enveloped the entire piano in a bright blue aura. Octavia stood back in shock. "I've never seen the piano played with magic before.", she said. "Neither had I until I started doing it.", I stated. I closed my eyes as the keys began to move on their own. One by one, note by note, each sound floated through the air in magnificent waves of brilliance that I had never heard before in my entire life. The piece started out slow, but began to build gradually until there was a definite peak in the piece's melody. The following notes worked together to gently bring back down the tone of the music until it silenced all together. However, the piece continued to pick up and drop off with no specific pattern... It was almost as if the notes were purposely ordered in a way that left the listener unsatisfied with the unjoined rythm that the piece was built around. But finally, the notes built up to a definate climax followed by a slow and steady come down. All these things would have sounded just fine on the old, clunky piano back in the cafeteria, but they sounded almost Godly on the perfectly tuned, grand piano I used in the hotel. I turned around to find that Octavia had torn blank pages from a book and was writing notes down on a hand drawn staff. "This... Changes things.", she said.
My LifeShit happens... Not only does shit happen, but shit stops things up, smells bad, brings you pain, and worst of all, knows very little relent. Everyone deals with shit once in a while. I do, you do, she does, he does. We're the only thing that keeps the shit flowing due to our basic need to eat, only I'm not talking about biodegradable body waste, I'm talking about real problems like war, murder, and all the other things that (unlike actual shit) aren't so easily forgotten about. My life, or rather, my toilet, was so clogged up with shit that no amount of plunging or chemical treatment could undo the damage that had been done. The only way to fix the problem would be to remove the toilet and put a new one in it's place. I pondered replacing my toilet daily. I had a plan, the tools needed, the motivation, even a specific date and time to do it, but every time I would get to that moment, I would hesitate. A voice in my head just kept saying, "Something else is out there!", and I would never cease to listen. It's not that I thought that I had a bad life, it's just that I was a massive hermit of social awkwardness. I was under the assumption that my situation was normal and that I had no real reason for being as depressed as I was, but the fact that I was an only child that had grown up with no other family besides my parents (who just left me by myself most of the time) and the fact that I hadn't practiced ANY methods of social interaction beyond small talk had really taken a toll on my perceptions of things. Not to mention that I was an on an off drug addict for about 10 years. Yup, I had been using since I was 15 years old, be it methamphetamine, alcohol, sleeping pills, some new research chemical, air duster, and you guessed it... Pot! Not that marijuana is all that addicting, but for me it was anything that would help me escape from the reality I was living in. At that point, all I ever wanted in life was a friend, but ever since my last true friend shot herself about a year before my drug use started, going out of my way to make new ones was just something I didn't do out of fear that whoever became my friend would leave me like the last one. ... 11 years went by since her passing and I was living in a trailer park in a decent suburb. A little upscale for my taste, but what could I do? I never had people over, nor did I really care to. My desire for friendship was still there, but I guess I was just too lazy to chance it. My only human interactions during that time were with the employees I worked with at a fast food restaurant... I was one of the managers so I guess you could say that they worked for me, but being the boss of a bunch of stubborn teenagers wasn't really the best way to make friends. That and the fact that being the one in charge of any major establishment involving youth automatically deems you, "the asshole". But back to the toilet thing. Most of the unsettling things that happened to me in the past were long hidden away. I thought about them from time to time, but never actually got too deep into the thoughts to care as much as I used to. The thing that made me want to get rid of the plumbing so much was the fact that my life was boring and lonely. It was the same routine every day, with not very much free time to spare, but even if I had free time, what could I have done with it other than just sit in my trailer? It got to the point where I found myself enjoying being a drone at my job more than having time to myself. I could not have gone out to make friends. I had a difficult time looking people my age in the eye let alone conversing with them. Believe me when I say that I had a massive handicap. I had no concept of realistic social interaction back then, and this story would be almost complete nonsense and illegibility had I been writing about these events as they were happening. I considered that 25 years of age was too old to make something of myself and that conforming to what society wanted was the right thing to do. I had given up on any of my former dreams and goals. I was very lucky and fortunate with the job I had anyway, and I wasn't about to go and risk it after all the hard work I did to get it. I felt terrible. Terrible, because I thought that a boring and lonely life was nothing to feel terrible over. I looked at myself in the mirror every morning and saw a miserable face staring back at me that would always say, "Grow up and stop whining." Deep inside, I still wanted to leave this world and cease to exist. ... I was sitting on the cheap couch I had purchased from a flea market some time ago while wearing my work uniform precisely according to the employee manual's instructions. It was a little too early for me to head over to my job, so I decided to go fill up my gas tank and buy a bag of potato chips. When I arrived, the "gas station" process went about as usual: slide card, unscrew tank cap, place hose in the tank, and waste my money. However, as I finished up and was removing the nozzle from my tank, I noticed a small orange bottle sticking out of an already full trash can. I took a second glance only to see that this was someone's prescription. At third glance, I had recognized the three pills inside of the bottle as Oxycontin 80mg. I had not used any opiates since I was 22. Not because I wanted to quit, but because my dealer had a child and wanted to make sure that it stayed safe. But being the person with the "do" instead of the "think" instinct, I made one of the worst mistakes of my life... Forgetting about the potato chips, I quickly drove home and spilled the pills out into my hand, sucked off the protective coating that gilded the oxy, crushed up the pills on a small mirror with an old credit card, and cut the white powder into 6 very clean lines. I rolled up the five dollar bill that I was originally going to purchase the potato chips with into a small straw and stuck it up my left nostril... The burn I got when insufflating opiates like oxycodone never hurt as much as other drugs like crystal meth or alaprozam. Anyway, I finished inhaling the crushed up oxycontin and sat back while I waited for the effects to kick in. The familiar sense of opiate-induced well-being took over my body in a warm rush of orgasmic bliss. I felt my body go numb as my stomach began to feel like it had a smiley face in it. I closed my eyes and let the effects of the drug take me. At the peak of my pleasure, I remembered that I still had to go to work! I knew I shouldn't have been driving, however, the thought of those stupid teenagers messing things up with out a leader to coordinate their actions alone made my head hurt, even with the effect of the painkillers still running. I wobbled up, grabbed my keys, and left. ... I had been out of the opiates path of terror for 3 years, and one thing I forgot was that after that long of a break, your tolerance goes down... I woke up in a hospital bed with all kinds of suction cups attached to me, an IV in my arm, some kind of clamp thing on my finger, and a woman sitting in the corner of the room who hadn't yet noticed my sudden awareness. I wasn't sure if I should have made my presence be known, or if I should have just waited this one out, but my cocky instincts took over as I managed to mutter an "ugghelllo?" sort of sound. She heard me and without a word, fled the room almost immediately returning with 2 older men and another woman. The 4 people stood above me with a look of indifference on their faces. The dialogue between us was short lasting and unimportant, and with a few more hours of being tested, evaluated by a psychiatrist, a prescription for some antidepressant called escitalopram, and the signing of a few papers... I was on my way home. I was told that I had overdosed and landed in a ditch right outside of my trailer. Apparently they got me out of the car right before I was about to drown in my own vomit. At the time, the only thing that I was really upset about was the fact that they didn't just let me drown. To this day, I still have no idea how my job got this information, but the corporate offices found out about my drug problem and fired me. On a side note, the other employees completely screwed up their work shift duties. It may not seem like that big of a deal to lose a job as a fast food restaurant manager, but I was pretty upset about it... That job had literally been my only instrument of accomplishment, and it had been flushed away at least 30 times faster than it had taken for me to get the job. Finding a new job that would pay my bills? Not in this economy. Getting roommates? Ha! Going to rehab? I don't have that kind of money. Becoming homeless? Likely... Pretty much everything I had ever worked for as an adult was lost, and I was no where in my right mind to go looking. ... The months passed by with was no emotion left in me... Not happy or sad, just a complete state of dissociation in which enveloped my entire lifestyle. I had no push to do anything. I would get up on occasion to eat and drink, but only barely, and by the end of the third month jobless, I had lost almost 50 pounds. Finally, the 24 hour eviction notice came along. There wasn't a sudden realization that I needed to get my life back in order, or some kind of mind-altering epiphany. It was just sort of an "oh well it was bound to happen sooner or later" situation. I had fully grasped what was going on, but I just didn't care. The 24 hours was counting down as I simply walked out of my house with nothing but the clothes on my back and watched some people drive up to the trailer, go inside, take pictures, change the lock, and put some sort of sign on the door with writing that was too small to read from where I was standing. ... This was the point for me where I had totally given up... They took away most of my physical possessions, and I had allowed drugs and self-pity to take away everything else, so I took a walk. I didn't really have a destination point, but after a while I found myself looking at the apartment building I grew up in as a child. The old complex stood gravely as memories of life and death were the cause of it's ever fading luster. It appeared as if nobody had lived there in a while, and there a ladder on the side of the building that lead up to the roof. Do you remember the toilet metaphor? I began to climb the ladder, higher and higher. I was very tired and undernourished, so it took a lot of strength out of me. However, I eventually reached the top. I walked to the edge of the roof and looked down at the far away ground. I was at least 70 or 80 feet up. This was it. No plan, no time, no date. Just the "do" instinct that I had always had. I was finally going to break free from these chains I thought I was bound in. I flew off the edge as all of my inhibitions left my body. My life didn't flash before my eyes and I didn't feel regret, all I felt was this profound sense of freedom that spread carelessly through my emotions... This was probably my very first time experiencing real happiness since I was at least 17 years old. Even though the time from when I jumped from the building to when I crashed to the ground was very minimal, It felt like forever. It's not that I was scared, but instead so very eager and full of anticipation to leave this world. The ground came closer and closer, and right before I could experience hitting it... Black. ... I floated through what felt like the very fabric of every trans-dimensional possibility which I believe to have been infinitely more massive that the millions of galaxies with billions of stars with billions of planets with trillions of moons with google-complexities of possibilities that we call the universe... This was not the universe, this was existence itself as a whole, and I was experiencing every part of it at once. Words do not describe what this felt like. I wasn't a body or a soul, I was just another piece of this fabric that had a one in every possible number chance of having the gift of perception. I was just there, somehow able to know what was happening. No other part of me had come along. There wasn't any emotions or memories of anything... I mean, they were there but just not as important or noticeable as to what was happening at that very moment. The only way to sum it up is by saying, "This is everything, everything is this." My perception then began to float higher and higher, gaining speed. Trillions and quadrillions of light years I sped upwards, all in a matter of milliseconds, or hours, or years? I guess I had left my perception of time back home along with my body. I had reached the highest point of the highest place of existence, I looked upon the vast plain of everything. It looked at me, too. Then, as fast (or as slow) as I had gone up, I fell. It seemed as if I was falling faster (or slower) than I had risen upwards. I continued falling, reaching the lowest point of everything, and then I noticed that I was falling towards something like looked much like a surface of some sort. It was approaching much like the ground had done to me on Earth. The vast void of existence dissipated as I slammed into the surface, and much like what had happened before, everything was black.
RebornI felt my consciousness regaining. The feeling of a body slowly returned, limb by limb. I felt my eyelids, which were closed. I heard a heart monitor in the background. I knew that I was laying down. I knew what was going on. I knew that I was terrified. I was even more terrified to lift my eyelids. I didn't want to look at myself and see what a deformity I had become. I was worried that I was going to live the remainder of my life as a clam unable to move by myself, feed myself, dress myself, clean myself, use the toilet by myself! There was a talking in the distance that was difficult to understand, but then I heard a word. One word in the form of a question. "Doctor?" This was when reality hit me, which was by far the most terrifying and disappointing moment of my life. I was completely taken over by fear and anger. A tear found it's way outside from behind my still closed eyelid, and then another. I began muttering the word "no" under my breath. The word became slightly louder with more tears to follow, and right as I was about to lose it, I felt something touch my arm. My reflexes made me swat back at it. "At least I have my arms", I thought. Then whoever was in the room said, "Woah, it's okay. You can trust me... I'm a doctor." "Why did this happen?", I was sobbing. "Why am I here? The doctor chuckled, "I was hoping you could tell me." "No... I fell so far." "Ha. Apparently they found you passed out and severely dehydrated in the Everfree Forest!" What? I thought to myself. Was my brain playing a trick on me? Had I actually become insane? Right when I was about to start crying again, there was a minor but sudden pain as I felt the doctor take an IV needle out of my arm. Instinctively, I opened my eyes. "There you go!", said the doctor, "Nice and-" "WHAT?!", I interjected. He was a brown, talking horse with HUGE, glistening eyes. Behind him stood two more horses. One pink and one blue... I was about to flip out in a way that I hadn't since my barbiturate withdrawals a couple of years ago when I suddenly remembered. My Little Pony. It was a television show that I had often read about on internet forums. The show itself wasn't ever really the topic of discussion, but instead it's unique group of fans. They were mostly older men... I never actually watched the show, but I had seen enough screen captions and fan art to recognize it. There was a broad spectrum of hallucinogenic drug experience in my past, and I was pretty sure that I knew the difference between something real and the effect of a drug... It felt very real, but I still wasn't sure if the doctors had just given me too much morphine or something. I stopped myself from continuing on and looked at him. He looked at me. "Are you okay?", he asked. I responded, "Are you a talking pony that's also a doctor?" The doctor stared at me for a moment. "Um... Yes?" "Then, uh... What?", I said more to myself then I did him, I didn't really know what to say. "Yes?", the doctor asked. "Um. I-I don't know", I said. "Well, everything seems to be just fine, maybe you're still a little dehydrated. What in Equestria were you doing in the forest all alone anyway?" "I. Uh, what?" "Here, have some water." He reached down and picked up a glass of water with his hooves, stood on his hind legs, and motioned for me to take it. I reached out to take it and almost pissed myself doing so. "Oh no... A hoof...", I thought. I stopped, and stared at my arm. I pushed off the blanket I was under to see if my hunch was true. Of course I was right. "I'm... I'm a pony.", I stammered. "Ha," the doctor laughed again, "Yes, yes you are!" Realizing that I couldn't simply grab the glass with one hoof, I sat up and used my other one to carefully hold it. It felt like I was under a lot of pressure at the time, and that maybe water was what I needed. I slowly tipped the glass forward, trying not to tremble too much and end up spilling the water. I could see and feel an extended mussel between my eyes, and It was weird to synchronize my hooves to my new mouth, but eventually, I took a drink. It tasted like water, it went down like water, it was water. Only there was a different mouth drinking it. I looked back up at the doctor and asked, "So when can I leave?" The doctor looked back and said, "Pretty soon, we just have to get you checked out first." "So, is there a mirror I could use?" "There's a washroom behind the last door down the hall on your right." I sort of rolled off the bed and stood up on two legs for a moment, realized that wouldn't work for a split second, and fell down on all fours. I thought to myself, "Okay... one step at a time." Walking surprisingly came with much ease. Try to picture what it's like to walk on all fours, except your neck it arched up and it doesn't hurt to stay that way for long periods of time. I'm sure I looked rather strange with my "can't-stop-looking-at-my-legs" walking technique, but at least I was moving. I exited the room and saw the last door down the hall to my right, and proceeded to it. I entered the room and found a large mirror almost immediately. At first, It was rather difficult to comprehend what I saw. Looking back at me was a blue colored, yellow and purple haired, green-eyed horse... With a horn. To this day, I'm not sure why, but my first reaction was to open my mouth. I looked inside and saw the inside of a horse's mouth. Real as day... Then I looked over to my rear end and saw a tail. It felt like some sort of movable spine extension, which is really the only way to describe it. Ironically, it wasn't until just then when I thought, "Why on Earth am I in a television show made for little girls?" I knew some people took the show seriously, but I highly doubt that this was the reason. Coming to senses, I felt the urge to leave the hospital. I walked out of the room and for a moment thought, "Oh crap! I'm naked! They must have taken... Oh yeah." I didn't go back to my room but instead found a staircase that led me downwards. After the first flight of stairs, I quickly found the exit when I noticed that it wasn't very monitored by the hospital officials. This was a little strange to me at first but I was still in the process of accepting that things here were very different from back home. I casually walked out of the hospital and found myself in a very bright and colorful town. I still was not sure if this was real or not, but my mind was still numb. I'm not sure if I did what I was about to do because I was ready to completely lose it, or just because I didn't have the willpower to care about what I thought was acceptable at the time.
The CircleThe townsfolk were walking and talking amongst themselves much like I had imagined they would do on any other normal day. I gave myself a moment to take it all in. That is, until I felt a sudden wave of anger rush over me. "Why would this happen to me?", I asked myself out loud. "Why can't I just die?" Thoughts like these began running through my head faster than I could process. "So many people who love life die every single day!" "So first I accidentally live and now I'm insane?" "Where can I find a joint? Or at least a cigarette?" I was getting ready to flip out. Only this time, It was really going to happen. The fear and anger built up inside me like a soda can in a freezer, and there was going to be a mess- "Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba!", I sang in a pitch so well tuned that even a professional pop singer would be impressed. All the ponies stopped momentarily, looked at me with a slight confusion, and then sang back in perfect unison, "Sithi uhm ingonyama!" I wasn't exactly sure of what had happened, but this made me even more upset than I already was. So what did I do? I tried to yell back at them, of coarse. "Nants ingonyama bagithi baba!", I sang yet again in perfect pitch. "Sithi uhhmm ingonyama!", The crowd replied. "Siyo Nqoba!" The crowd began chanting the phrase, "Ingonyama nengw' enamabala." I was left sitting there, completely flabbergasted, wondering why I was singing, what I was saying, and why all of these horses were able to join in with me like they had been waiting for this moment to happen. I pondered the thought of walking back inside the hospital, but was too shocked to do so much as even move. All the creatures began dancing around what appeared to be a zebra. "So we have fucked up little zebras too?", I thought. When I was certain that they had forgotten about me, the zebra began singing a melody above the choral harmony that the other ponies were chanting. "From the day we arrive on the planet, and blinking, step into the sun. There's more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than can ever be done!" It occurred to me that they were singing "The Circle of Life" from the Lion King. I sat down outside the hospital and watched the events play out in front of me. "Interesting", I whispered, no longer controlled by anger. It felt good to not be upset anymore. So good, that I may have cracked a smile, quite possibly the first smile to appear on my face since I was promoted manager at the fast food restaurant. Half way through the song (which was sang quite well), I heard a voice behind me, "There he is!" I turned around to see the horse doctor followed by two much larger horses with a look on their faces that told me they weren't about to ask nicely. My smile was replaced by a grimace. "Either you can walk back in here and finish the evaluation or you can be carried back in and strapped down until we believe you are ready for the evaluation.", the doctor said. The doctor said this in a way that told me he had said it several times to other patients in the exact same predicament I was in. (How about they just block the exit or something?) Anyway, I could tell that I was not about to make an easy escape. I had run from the cops before, but the two horses behind the doctor had wings! "Why would a place like this exist?", I thought. I was never much a suck-up until recently, and I really did not want to go back in there. Even though I had a small chance of getting away, I realized that those odds were not worth the risk. So I calmly approached the doctor. "Let's go.", I said. "Thank you, I really mean that. I hate seeing my patients hurting themselves while trying to tussle with these guys.", The doctor looked back at the two hospital guards who were still staring at me with the same expression as before. I walked back inside the hospital with the doctor, the two guards still following us from behind. I looked at the doctor, "I apologize for what happened. Perhaps a mental evaluation is something I've needed for a while now." "A mental evaluation? No no no, this isn't that kind of hospital. All we need to do is check to make sure your horn didn't get damaged!", the doctor replied. "Huh? oh...", I looked up to see the tip of it sticking over the edge of my vision. "Yes indeed, we all know how much damage a damaged horn can cause." "Yes, of course." We walked down the hallway I used to navigate towards the restroom earlier, but instead of going back to the room I woke up in, we continued passed it until I found myself walking through a cafeteria of some sort. When all of a sudden, I heard a loud buzzing sound. "Uhh, please wait here for just one moment.", the doctor said nervously as he and the guards ran back towards the area I was in before. I suppose it was the ER section of the hospital. So I sat on my haunches by a bench and waited... And waited... And waited... Until the idea of leaving the hospital again began turning into a real temptation. However, my willpower must have stayed outside in The Circle of Life; I didn't feel like running, I just felt like sitting and thinking. Thinking about all the events that had taken place in the last 24 hours of my perception. I looked around the room. At this point, the cafeteria was completely empty. It was just me, the cafeteria benches, and a piano in the corner of the room. A piano.
The CafeteriaI played the piano for a few years in high school, but I never got very good at it. All though I did get to the point where I could play a few simple songs, they never sounded like I wanted them to sound like. In my mind, I had composed hundreds of little tunes to keep it occupied. Even though these songs would never be played, I still found enjoyment in collecting my thoughts to a tempo and a harmony... This is where my story truly begins. I slowly approached the piano, looking around to see if anyone was watching me, pulled out the bench, and brought up a hoof to press one of the keys. I failed at it miserably and ended up hitting three or four of them. Normally, I would have left the piano alone and never return to it again, but the thought of "If it can't be played, then why is it here?", kept crossing my mind. That and the fact that my mind doesn't process boredom very easily. After fiddling with the clunky keys of the very out of tune, upright piano, I became frustrated and plopped my head down on them. "Ouch", I said forgetting about the horn thing. I lifted my head back up and stared at the keys for a bit longer. There was still a lack of sentience in the room, so I continued poking the keys at random. After about ten minutes of this I was finally bored of the awful noises coming from the thing, so I closed my eyes and rested my head on the music holder. My mind began drifting on it's own as I pondered what it might have been like if I continued pursuing the goal of getting well at playing music. This thought kept repeating and amplifying itself over an over again in the strangest way. Eventually, the thought became so overpowering that it almost felt like a physical feeling. I opened my eyes and looked at the piano once more, only this time I was frustrated at it. "Why can't you think about something else, brain?", I said out loud. The thought continued getting stronger and stronger until eventually a migraine began to form. "Perfect", I thought. The headache grew while the thought persisted. About five minutes of this and I was almost panicking. I wanted to run back to the ER, but my own thoughts were limiting me from doing so. It was as if I needed to do something with this piano. Hoping to find relief, I began uncontrollably pounding the keys with my hoofs. The sound echoed throughout the room, which only made the pains grow more intense. Finally, it became so strong that I felt nauseous. "Shit, here it comes.", I said. Right before I was about to blow chunks all over myself, I felt a combination of pressure and euphoria behind my eyes. This feeling began traveling upwards when I noticed a bright blue glow above me. I looked up to try and see what it was only for it to leave my sight exactly when I turned my head. I soon realized that my horn was the culprit... It felt like it was going to explode! "Shit! Shit! Shit! SHIT! My horn's damaged!", I almost screamed. I saw a beam of blue light shoot from it and then cover the piano in an aura of the same color. After a few seconds, the pain subsided. I was, however, a little too freaked out to notice. What really got me was how I began to feel the piano without actually touching it. I felt like I was on acid or something, which at the time would have made some sense considering all of the preceding occurrences. This feeling wasn't a good or a bad feeling. It was just a feeling of pure connection with the instrument in front of me; like it had been a conjoined twin for my entire life. Another thought came to me, "Play it." Without thinking, I responded. Not with my appendages, but with the feeling of control that was suddenly oscillating around my senses. ... I will never forget the A minor arpeggio that was coming from the piano. It was quite possibly the most beautiful sound I had ever heard, even though the piano was terribly out of tune and in a cafeteria with even more terrible acoustics. I have tried and tried to replay this piece the exact same way as I did, but never will it be the same without the clunky keys of the cafeteria. I still play the tune from time to time with complete accuracy, however, the best a piece of music will ever sound is when it is listened to it for the first time. Sentience is where the trophies of the past are. My emotions had somehow become like a transmission, and the piano was the device of outlet. I was hearing the music through my ears, when I began pondering the thought of changing the chord. As soon as the thought of which chord I wanted to hear became fully understood, the piano began playing it. About a minute or two passed and I decided to change the sound up from basic chord progressions. The piano played highs and lows, with twisting varieties of musical brilliance. I was allowing all of my thoughts from the past that had built up over the years out, and it was becoming superbly intense. "I think I'll call this "The Cafeteria.", I thought humorously. More and more light spilled from my head as the piano was producing increasingly complicated and adverse patterns, but when I heard someone approaching from behind me...
Running...everything stopped, along the emotions running the music in the first place. The doctor stood there with his mouth open, as if he was literally giving me his undivided attention. "I suppose we can say your horn is fine now, There are no ways that amount of magic could leave a broken one and not destroy this entire hospital. But it was a really bad idea to use it like that.", he said. "I'm sorry", I replied. "No, no. You're fine... It's just that I've never heard anything quite like what you were just playing. Nor have I seen, or heard of a unicorn playing the piano with magic." The word "unicorn" got my attention. I had been wondering what the word for "horned horse" was ever since I had seen myself in the mirror. It was right on the tip of my tongue but I just couldn't figure it out. "So, am I aloud to leave?", I asked. "Very soon, I just need to get you checked out first", he said. The doctor trotted over to the piano and looked at the keys for a moment, then switched his attention back to me. "Do you know how to play any other instruments?", he asked. "I didn't really know I could play this one", I responded. The doctor gave me a confused smirk as he turned the other way and started walking towards the exit of the cafeteria. "You coming?", he asked without looking at me. "Okay" I said. We began walking towards the exit of the building. The doctor brought me into another room that was reasonably close to the stair case on the bottom floor of the hospital. It was small and had a window with a pony behind it. The doctor proceeded to tell the nurse behind the window how amazing I was at the piano, laugh at a joke that was so bad that it had to have been an inside one, and bring out a piece of paper for me. "Sign here please", the doctor said as he held out an exit slip and a pen with his mouth. "Uh...", I responded. I didn't know how to write anything without my fingers yet. "What's wrong?" "Nothing" I used my mouth to grab the paper and pen, put the paper on the floor, and draw a bunch of scribbled lines that one could only assume was a signature on the paper. "You should come by the hospital again and play music for the children here sometime.", the doctor said. "Sure thing", I said not knowing what else to say. "Great, just stop by any time during the after noon when they eat lunch together." I nodded as we began walking towards the exit. "Just out of curiosity, how old are you?", the doctor asked. "Twenty-five, why?", I asked in return. "Wow, twenty-five? How are you so good at playing the piano and yet still lacking a Cutie Mark?", the doctor motioned towards his rear end. I didn't know what all of those tattoo things were, nor did I ask the doctor what they were. Instead, I accepted the possibility that all of the ponies were forced to get a tattoo before they turn a certain age. The doctor finished walking with me and waved to me as I left the hospital with no place else to go. It was beginning to get dark. ... The town had less ponies in it than when I was out and about earlier. It had only been about an hour back in the hospital but it looked like most of the town's residents were already in bed. I didn't see any clocks anywhere but I had guessed it to be around 8:00 PM. I continued walking around the town until there were no ponies in the streets. The temperature had began to drop at a slow rate which increased my anxiety to a decent level and made me want to rest for a moment. I found a bench and decided to lay on it. "Woah", I said. Laying on my back was really weird, like my body just wasn't made for doing that on such a hard surface. Then I remembered seeing a cream colored pony laying down on a bench during the Lion King incident, so I flipped over and tried to lay down on my stomach with my head leant forward. It wasn't bad at all... Sure, it felt different, but it was a relaxing and comfortable position to be in. ... I wasn't expecting anything to come of that night. I was just hoping that the temperature wouldn't get too low, which had become a serious worry of mine. Even with a body of fur, I was feeling unreasonably chilly. I decided to try walking again in hopes that my body would regulate it's heat better. My efforts failed but they definitely made the cold weather less noticeable. I started running because of my envy of the warm. I'm sure I would have looked strange to any ponies watching at the time, but I didn't really care. It felt good to run, and the best part about running for me was that I didn't know I could run without falling over... Walking was still pretty taboo for me. When I started walking, instinct just kicked in. The next thing I remember was wondering when I started running, but like I said, it felt good to run. I ran like I had been in a wheelchair my entire life. It was as if I had been a bird trapped in a cage who found it's own way out. Not by getting let go, by finding it's OWN way out... By escaping. I continued running for miles and miles, block after block in this pony city. There was a building in the center of what appeared to be a ring of houses. I continued running around this building, amazed by how long I could keep running. I was never much of an adrenaline junkie but just that ability by it's self was amazing to me. So amazing, that my mind had began to play a tune. Not like before when I simply got a headache, but like a clean song playing itself in my brain. Almost like I could actually hear it, but in a bit of a different way. I had accepted the music and let it flow through my thoughts instead of fighting it. The song was played on what sounded like a Spanish Steel and was very relaxing and calm... Almost blissful. It was a different kind of happiness, a freedom kind of happiness. A freedom kind of happiness that was quickly disrupted by the rather disappointed yet curious stare of a brown pony who stopped herself right in front of me. "What in Equestria are you doing?", she asked me in a British accent.
Brilliance"Ugh, just running?", I said "Hmm... This late at night?", she replied. "Is it bad to do that?" "Well, no, but it's weird. Why are you out here, anyway?" "I was just... I was using the evening breeze as inspiration for my next song." "Oh really? Well what do you play then, hmm? I bet you're one of those rock n' roll stallions, playing your guitar all night when other ponies are trying to sleep." "Actually-" "I mean quite honestly, who DO you think you are? Running around like a maniac in the middle of the night, causing ruckus in the streets. You should be ash-" "What I was saying is that I play the piano... Mostly Classical music." "Oh... So you mean piece?" "Piece?" "Yes, songs have a main melody and pieces have several. Classical piano music generally falls under the category of "pieces."" "I apologize for doing whatever I did to offend you." "Oh no, your quite fine. Us musicians do what we can to get inspired these days." "So you play as well?" "Yes indeed. I was just heading over to my former roommate's house to see if she had any staff paper, only for her to not be home. Such a shame too, I had the most wonderful idea." "And you don't have any paper of your own?" "I just ran out, so I suppose I'll have another evening without getting any work done." "I apologize." "No you're fine... I was just a little upset. Say, do you live here? I don't remember you from before." "No I don't, how about you?" "I currently live in Canterlot, and I'm staying here because I'm composing a soundtrack for a play in the area. However, I did live here a few years ago... Where is your residence?" "I uh, travel... I'm actually here for that play." "Oh really? Wonderful! I take it you're playing the piano?" "Indeed." "How coincidental, you and I meeting up like this! Would you like to come back to my hotel and familiarize me with your playing techniques?" "Umm..." "I'm sure you'll have a pleasant time, haven't you ever wanted a professional composer to personalize music for you?" "I suppose." "Fantastic! Follow me! By the way, my name is Octavia." She practically dragged me about a half mile towards a large building that seemed to be a little out of place in the pony city. We went inside and walked up way too many flights of stairs for this world to not have elevators. I was exhausted by the time we finally made it to her room, which was obviously the penthouse of the hotel. "I simply love living fancy!", she said. "That's for sure.", I said slightly slack-jawed. The hotel room had a beautiful grand piano in the center of it, complimented by a view of the entire city and what appeared to be an even larger city hanging off the side of a mountain in the distance. "So... Show me what you can do!", she said as she pointed towards the piano. "Okay.", I responded, praying under my breath that I wouldn't make a fool of myself. I walked up to the piano and pulled out the bench, sat down, and stared at the keys. I waited for something to happen, and waited, and waited. "Are you quite all right?", Octavia said with a concerned look on her face. "Fine, I'm just... Trying to figure out what I should play.", I replied. "Well, I wouldn't mind hearing something relaxing, yet full of emotion." "Okay, I'll see what I can do." So I continued trying everything I could to get my horn to light up, but nothing happened. I saw Octavia growing disappointed. "Do you even play?", Octavia said in a half-serious tone. "Look... I'm sorry, it's just that I-" As I said the word "I", I had put a hoof on one of the higher keys. This seemed to do the trick. I got the feeling of stress over making a better sound come from the piano again, but instead of fighting it, I let it flow out of me. Once again, my horn lit up and enveloped the entire piano in a bright blue aura. Octavia stood back in shock. "I've never seen the piano played with magic before.", she said. "Neither had I until I started doing it.", I stated. I closed my eyes as the keys began to move on their own. One by one, note by note, each sound floated through the air in magnificent waves of brilliance that I had never heard before in my entire life. The piece started out slow, but began to build gradually until there was a definite peak in the piece's melody. The following notes worked together to gently bring back down the tone of the music until it silenced all together. However, the piece continued to pick up and drop off with no specific pattern... It was almost as if the notes were purposely ordered in a way that left the listener unsatisfied with the unjoined rythm that the piece was built around. But finally, the notes built up to a definate climax followed by a slow and steady come down. All these things would have sounded just fine on the old, clunky piano back in the cafeteria, but they sounded almost Godly on the perfectly tuned, grand piano I used in the hotel. I turned around to find that Octavia had torn blank pages from a book and was writing notes down on a hand drawn staff. "This... Changes things.", she said.
