"GET DOWN!!!" Big Mac shouted as he pushed us all behind a rock. It'd been two days since we left that town, wondering into The Badlands and I gotta say, this planet knows how to fuck with us.

*BOOM!!!!*A grenade went off on the other side of the rock

"God dammit Mac!! Just cover us while we advance!!" I shouted at him. We didn't just stumble across some regular bandits, oh no...we found Badass Bandits, with a Capitol 'B'! We retreated to a dried up gorge in the mountains, but since some deity hates us, we ended up stumbling into Their Freaking DEN!!

"Oh sure. I'll kill 'em all, meanwhile you all can sit there lookin' like morons!!" Big Mac shouted back.

"Oh the hell with it..." Twilight said as she vanished.

"Ok let's go! Raaaagh!" Big Mac roared, charging in with his Gatling Gun strapped to his back.

I reloaded my gun as fast as possible, staying low, while rolling my eyes.

"Run, run, run as fast as you can, bitches!" I shouted as I poked my head out and started firing wildly at anything that moved.

"I'm counted at thirty!" Big Mac shouted to me.

"I'm on forty-four!" I replied laughing.

I heard gunfire from above us.

I saw all the remaining bandits fall to the floor.

A figure jumped down from the top of the gorge and landed with a cloud of dust.

"I'm at seventy-nine. Eat it losers." It was Fluttershy being competitive as always, but even I have to admit that entrance was pretty badass. The ":P" symbol appeared on her visor as we walked to the entrance. There was a weird sound and a flash of light and then Twilight reappeared.

"Aww. Didn't save any for me?"

The door seemed to be extremely reinforced.

"They must be hiding something valuable in here," I said pointing out the obvious once again.

"Well if it's valuable, we want it. Outta my way, I'm gonna see if anypony's home." Big Mac grinned wildly, revving the rotary mechanism on his gun. He opened fire and we dived out of the way. The combined force of bullet and explosion from the monstrous gun appeared to be doing some lethal damage to the door. All of a sudden the firing stopped. The door was bent in all directions and looked like it was about to fall over...

"Knock, knock, anypony home?" Big Mac asked to whatever lay on the other side of the door. With that the door fell down with a massive thud. I noticed my H.U.D. acting odd. It became all static and then a beautiful blue pony with a wave-like mane appeared on the screen...

"Oh good. Now you can see me. Look I need you to listen. There is a unicorn in this place who can help you. Seek her out. She can help you to find and open the stable. She will be easy enough to find I'm sure nopony boasts about being Great and Powerful like she does....Anyway know this. I'm your friend and I'm here to help you find Applejack and open the stable. Yes it exists and it is somewhere on Calamity. I'll contact you again when you have completed this task."

"You ok Dash? You kind of zoned out there for a second," Twilight asked.

"Probably just wondering what we will find in here. I'll bet it's money. Bandits love money!" Big Mac exclaimed.

We walked in the new archway we had just made and looked around. It looked like an old Derp mining facility. There were stairs leading down that seemed to go on for a bit

"Goodbye," Fluttershy said in an aggressive tone as she became invisible and disappeared. She'd probably go ahead to get some killing done as usual.

"Well it's been fun and all but I'll see you guys when you get to the bottom!" I joked as I leaped over the railings and began to descend into the pit.

I rushed down at a really fast speed. I loved the feeling of the air on my face. I almost left it too late to slow down before I reached the bottom. I landed with a plop and began to explore. I looted some lockers and boxes left lying around and then noticed a few details about my environment. This was a holding area. There were cells with prisoners in them and a small group of bandits guarding them. There were no screams so I assumed they were either dead, starved to exhaustion, or just too scared to scream. I knew this must have been what that pony I saw was talking about. I focused on taking the guards out first. I shot the first guard nice and easy through the head with my revolver, but had to take out the bigger guns when the shot alerted the other bandit guards. I managed to kill most of them, until I saw a Badass-bucking-Psycho! Those freaks of nature would tear me apart!! So as it stomped towards me I hid behind the closest wall. I heard a loud metal clink and peeked out. I saw Fluttershy in a sword fight with the three and a half legged Stallion. Effortlessly, she cut his front leg clean off and, seeing as he only had the three to begin with, he fell to the floor with a mighty thud. She quickly stabbed him through the skull multiple times to make sure she killed him. I also think it was because she loved to stab things...

"It's a pity he wasn't skilled. He could have proven a worthy challenge," she said. Clearly her lust for violence wasn't being satisfied, so I backed up a bit in case she got any ideas.

"The area ahead has been scouted. There were no survivors. I looted everything too."

"Ok I guess....I'm gonna go ahead anyway. I think we should find a release for those cells"

I heard something drop behind me and turned around. There was a cracked open skull of a pony lying on the ground, a part of its spine was still attached and it was covered in blood. I knew it had fallen from the staircase. I got sick in my mouth a bit but against my better judgment looked up. I could hear Big Mac laughing and a lot of gunfire and screaming. I saw Twilight phase beside me.

"Hey everypony. Did you miss us?" I didn't answer I just rolled my eyes and smirked while walking. There was a big room at the end of the cells. That was our best bet in finding the cell release. I flew in and looked around. My H.U.D. actually highlighted the release for me so it was easy to find. I pushed it and all the cell doors opened. Twilight stood on top of the cells and shouted down to the prisoners.

"Alright everypony. You're free. Take whatever you can salvage and get the hell away from here. There is a city you'll be safe. It's called Sanctuary. Head there and you will be fine."

"I don't need to listen to you! I'm far more powerful then you 'Stable Hunters', I was just caught off guard is all," A boasting voice replied. Twilight teleported down to her.

"Look sister, I'm a siren. So don't talk to me about power, or I'll turn vaporize you faster than you can say sorry!" I flew over to the two of them quickly.

"Hey! Calm down Twilight. I need to ask this pony something. What is your name mare?"

"Me? Why I am the Great and Powerful Trixie! Why does it matter to you?" She asked. I knew this was the mare I was looking for

"Do you know anything about the stables by any chance?" I needed to make sure...

"Why, of course! I studied them as my profession with my partner Audiobook. Until he got jealous and left me."

"Aren't those the tape recorders? I think this pony is loco in the coco," Twilight whispered to me.

"It doesn't matter, I think she can help us find Applejack and the stable. I've got a feeling!" I whispered back.

"Ok then. Can you help us find the stable?" Twilight questioned.

"Of course, but first, in return you must escort me safely to this 'Sanctuary' you speak of. I require accommodation after Applejack....well she blew up my home."

"Deal!" I said shaking her hoof.

"Ok stairway's clear! Earth Ponies and Unicorns up this way." Big Mac shouted proudly, his fur covered in the blood of his enemies.

"You better be right about this Dash," Twilight said. I hoped I was too. If not this was going to be a long trip.

End of chapter 5

Author's Note

I'd like to give a big thanks to Isumo1489 for editing the story for me :) Thanks so much for the help