Canis Rebellione

by raven1292

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Dark, Comedy, Romance
Length: 2868

A human teenager is transported to Equestria after and unfortunate series of events finds himself with allies. And unexpected enemies.

A human teenager is transported to Equestria after and unfortunate series of events finds himself with allies. And unexpected enemies. (A human in Equestria story with a twist. My first story so I hope you enjoy. If there is enough interest I'll go ahead and write another chapter.)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-17 23:38:15 UTC

Unexpected allies

Day 1:

Night, that was my first perception of the world around me as I regained consciousness. That was until I realized I had my eyes closed and with a large amount of effort I cracked them open. Searing light spilled into my eyes blinding me and bringing with it the pain form the night before. My body ached all over and I was surprised that I wasn’t dead.   The previous night had been eventful to say the least and as I shuffled through my memories I realized that I shouldn’t be here, that I couldn’t be here; Mainly because I had died the night before.

Day 0: and a hell of a distance away

“Hey, Asshole where you going?”

‘Dammit, 20 more steps and I would have been outside.’

As the two bullies who I had somehow wronged approached me I wondered why they even tried. No one in the entire school took them seriously, they were either drunk or high most of the time to the point where a 5th grader could take them out quite easily, and it had actually happened last February.

“What do you want?” I asked tired and wanting to go home.

It was at that point that I noticed a bulge in his coat pocket and started worrying. My fears were right when he looked around and produced a .22 revolver which he waved at me and then towards the doors to the school.

“Oh, we just want to talk.” He said a grin spreading across his face.

Moving in compliance to his order I stepped outside and slammed the door in his face; looking back, this probably wasn’t the best idea. The cry of pain was satisfying, but short lived as he shoved the door open and stepped outside. I turn and ran for a ladder on the side of the school building; my thought at the time, was that I would be able to jump over to a neighboring building. Turns out this wasn't going to work as the closest building was a good 20 feet away. This left me trapped on top of a building with two armed, angry, thugs after me.

“You’re gonna get it you fucking dick!”

Not the most creative of language, but I got their general idea. Now, most days I would be able to nock both of them down without much damage to my person. I did after all have a few inches and more than a bit of muscle on them.  This of course wasn’t of much use as they had a gun.

“Come on fellas, no need for a fight. One of us could get hurt, and neither of us wants that! Especially as it wouldn’t look very good with your record.”

“That’s the thing,” one of the thugs said advancing towards me; “They’ll never find the body.”

And with those words he lunged at me and struck me with his shoulder. I fell backwards and my arms pin wheeled trying to maintain my balance. As I regained my balance I looked up from the two story drop and right down the barrel of a gun.

“Nighty, night.”

Day 1:

As I regained more and more movement throughout my body, the pain got more and more intense. In fact, I was surprised I wasn’t going into shock at that point. After countless minutes the pain faded to a manageable point and I managed to push myself into a sitting position. It was from here that I undertook the greatest challenge of my short life, standing. I managed to raise myself about halfway from a sitting position before my legs gave out and I stumbled forward. Lucky enough for me I was perched on the edge of a very steep cliff so it isn’t hard to imagine what happened next. When my bloodied and broken body finally hit the bottom I wondered what sick deity took such pleasure in making others suffer.

As the last wisps of consciousness faded from my mind to be replaced by the all-consuming force that was pain, I heard a gasp and though I was unsure whether or not it was audible through the blood in my throat, I managed to whisper a plea for help.

Day 2:

A fucking cave, that was the first thing that greeted my vision as I opened my eyes. I braced myself expecting pain to overwhelm me and send me spinning back into unconsciousness.  Surprisingly, I actually felt relatively good considering what had happened. Forcing myself into a sitting position I took in my surroundings.  My body had been crudely bandaged and I had been placed on a small cot; the only light in the room was coming from a gas lantern hung on the ceiling.

“Hello, anyone there?”

“You are awake?”

Startled, I spun around and came face to face with something that resembled a very large dog with opposable thumbs and clothes. My mind was failing to come to terms with the fact the bipedal dog had talked and so I almost missed what it said next.

“Ponies saw you and left you for dead. Diamond dogs found you and saved you. Good for nothing ponies, take what they want and then leave anything that isn’t like them!”

“Wait, what ponies? And who are you?”

“Ponies live on surface; drive anything they don’t like below ground or into dark woods. We are diamond dogs; we live below surface because of winey prissy ponies. We were once a mighty empire… but no more.” With those words the diamond dog turned and began to walk away taking a glance back to make sure I was following. “We once lived side by side with the ponies, but then we fell afoul of them. Now we are scattered and dyeing. Gems are getting much rarer and harder to find.” We immerged into a larger cavern with a good dozen diamond dogs inside of it who were socializing, eating, and going about daily tasks. The one odd thing was the lack of children; on closer inspection I noticed that there were also no females. Upon asking my diamond dog escort about this he replied that they had all died in a sickness.

“We pleaded with ponies for help, they laughed at us and had no pity. A disease they could have cured with their magic, they instead let our wives and children die.”

“I’m so sorry…..”

“Thebes, my name is Thebes.”

“Thebes, I’m so sorry about what happened to your people and no matter what happened in your past the ponies shouldn’t have let that happen.”

“We don’t plan on letting it happen again. We have plan to take our fair share of the surface form the ponies.”

“Thank you for all that you have done for me, I owe you, and I’ll help you in any way I can.”

We had reached the end of a long tunnel by now and Thebes’s considerable bulk blocked my view of what was ahead. Soon we reached a small door and as Thebes opened it and stepped inside I looked around and attempted to catch my breath. What lay before me was a vast arsenal of spears, swords, armor, and even what looked like crude bombs.

“This is how diamond dogs plan on taking surface from racists, imperialist, elitist ponies.”

Failed diplomacy and Chaos

Day 2:

I was stunned by the sheer volume of weapons and armor. There was enough equipment to field a small army and that did bring up the question of where the soldiers were going to come from.

“Thebes, who is going to fight this battle? If you don’t mind me saying, you don’t have that large of a force.”

“

Ahh, that is exactly what the ponies think, that we are just disorganized and few. But they are wrong! There are many more families scattered throughout Equestria and we plan on uniting all of them.”

“Wait, plan? How many of these families have you actually talked to?”

“Hmmmmm.... one? But there are more and they will join us we just need to find them. We already have the support of the Apple-Loosa family.”

“Have you tried talking with the ponies? I’m sure they would be willing to negotiate.”

“Tried talking, ponies don’t like our talk.”

“What if I were to talk with them? If I can come to a peaceful resolution with them will you be willing to accept that and not fight them?”

“On condition we get land on surface, and ponies apologise, preferably with gifts.”

“Thebes!”

We both turned to see another diamond dog coming towards us. He was smaller than most and wearing a sort of light armor.

“What is it Balham?”

“The Baltimare and Vanhoover families have responded! They say that they will join us if we provide them with equipment.”

“That is good, we have plenty of weapons and armor for them.”

“They said that they would try to contact some of the other families. They also said that this plan needed to move forward without delay and will arrive in one week.”

“Hear that? There is no more time for words and fancy paper. Send a message to the ponies of Apple-Loosa. Tell them to come in 7 days’ time.”

“Yes sir!”

As the messenger hurried out with his message of war I turned to Thebes. While I understood the plight of the Diamond Dogs I felt that warfare was only a last resort and to be used when every other option was exhausted.

“Listen, the other Diamond Dogs are arriving in one week. Give me until then to try and reach a peaceful agreement.”

“Fine, you have seven days. At the end of that time we will attack Canterlot. I hope you know who to side with when that happens!”

Following this final exclamation Thebes marched out of the room to do who knows what. Realizing that my time was limited I moved to leave hoping that one of the Diamond Dogs would be able to give me directions on how to get above ground and then to the nearest town. I was almost at the door when I looked back and noticed the short swords hanging from the wall. While I wasn’t very experienced with swords it was better than nothing, not to mention I had no idea what dangers might await me on the outside. After retrieving it and attaching it to my belt I left the room in the hopes of finding a guide.

‘A guide aye? I would be happy to fulfill such a role.’

“What!? Who’s there?”

‘Silly silly, I’m in your head is where I am.’

“What are you talking about?”

‘No need to shout. Just try… thinking to me.’

‘I still have no idea who “you” are.’

‘There now you won’t get strange looks. And as to who I am, I was trapped in stone by the ponies for being who I am. All I did was cause a little chaos and every part of my body was turned to stone. Do you have any idea how painful that is? Your insides turning to stone, creeping up towards your heart, past your neck, till finally, it clouds over your eyes and ears leaving you with nothing, but your thoughts.’

‘That sounds terrible…… but there has to be more to this story then that which you are telling me.’

‘Very well, if you must know the whole story; I am a Draconicus, the oldest, and the last. I am the spirit of chaos and as such work to create chaos in the land. Mind you I don’t throw the world into disarray; I instead try to just make ponies lives interesting. I’ve even worked to give them better crops, and how did they thank me? By turning me to stone. Twice now I have been turned to stone, and I don’t want anything to do with the ponies anymore. If you get me out of my prison, I will help you however I can then leave this land forever.’

‘What do I have other than your word that you will leave?’

‘Think about it. I have been defeated twice and would be defeated again. I can either spend an eternity in this dark prison or leave to find more prosperous lands.’

‘Alright, I’ll help you if you help me.’

‘It’s a deal! Now go out into the tunnel take a left continue a hundred feet take a right and follow that tunnel it will take you to the surface. In the meantime I’ve got other things to organize in preparation of my release.’

With those words I felt the spirit leave my head, this feeling was not in the least way pleasant and I hoped that the spirit would restrain itself from making his appearances a regular event. Following its instructions I found myself emerging from a small cave in the forest. Seeing a river nearby I followed it and quickly came to the outskirts of a village.

Skirting around the edge I found myself at an apple orchard. I grabbed a couple apples and devoured. It wasn’t until then did I realize just how hungry I was, I hadn't eaten in a good day and I was feeling the lack of food taking hold. Hunger satisfied, I moved towards the town and reasoning that the ponies saw many different species on a regular basis and so wouldn't be too startled to see another, I simply walked in. While I did receive many strange looks from the ponies, I wasn't deterred and pressed on towards what looked like the town hall.

Upon arriving there I found who I presumed to be the mayor and her secretary. There have not been many times in my life

when I have wanted to commit bodily harm on another, but that secretary made me come very close to ruining any chances of peace talks.

Upon satisfying the secretary with promises that the mayor did in fact want to meet me I entered her office to find a purple mare already sitting there. I imagine that I must have startled them both because they stopped talking and turned to me as soon as I entered. The purple mare’s eyes widened at the sight of me and I got the unnerving feeling that she was studying me. The mayor was the first to speak and while she acted perfectly happy I detected a note of contempt in her voice.

“Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Yes in fact I am an emissary of the Diamond Dogs and was wondering if I could talk with a high ranking official.”

“You’re an emissary from the Diamond dogs? And not to be rude, but what exactly are you?”

“I’m a human, and yes I am representing the Diamond Dogs in the diplomatic negotiations pertaining to the acquisition of

territory for their communal use.”

“I’m sorry, but I've never heard of “human” before. In addition, the diamond dogs are an uncivilized, barbaric race and we refuse to associate with! Now if you will excuse me I have more important matters to attend to.”

The mayor walked past me and I heard her yelling at her secretary from the next room over. The purple mare who had been scrutinizing me for most of the conversation walked past me and exited the room. A bright flash of light from outside caught me by surprise and I rushed outside to find that the purple mare was nowhere in sight.

It was at this point that I started questioning whether trying to negotiate with the ponies was really the best idea and I began walking in no particular direction while pondering over this question. After a few minutes I noticed that I was being followed by a sunflower colored mare. At first I thought nothing of it and reasoned that she wasn’t in fact following me and that instead her destination just so happened to be in the direction that I was headed.

After I reached the outskirts of the town and moved past it with the mare still following me I realized that his most likely was not the case and I turned around to confront her, but she was nowhere in sight. I then whipped around at the sound of a twig snapping behind me and came face to face with what looked like a black, disfigured pony. Frozen in fright I did not have time to react as two more hit me from behind knocking me to the ground. I struggled and attempted to draw my sword, but they pinned my arms in a green aura before I could fully extract it.

One of the creatures advanced towards me and lowered its horn to my head. The grin that spread across its deformed features sent a chill down my spine and from its horn I felt a cold, dark, magic flow into my body and send me into sleep.

The final thing I heard before descending into unconsciousness for the third time in days was the chaos spirits laughter and muttering about how someone named Chrysie was going to be very surprised.

End of Day 2