The Birds and the Changelings

by overlord-flinx

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Pipsqueak, Queen Chrysalis, Discord, Sex
Length: 1791

Every colt grows curious sooner or later about that one question: "Where do babies come from?" Simple question, simple answer. Though when your parent figures aren't the ones to take simple simply...

Every colt grows curious sooner or later about that one question: "Where do babies come from?" Simple question, simple answer. Though when your parent figures aren't the ones to take simple simply... And when your mom is a being that feeds off the core element of "where babies come from", the talks may go differently.

A companion piece to Know Your Mare.

Published 2013-01-17 20:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-17 20:20:01 UTC

You know... Flowers.

The Changeling Empire, home to over a million swarming drones loyal to the call of only one queen. The kingdom itself was not much to the eyes. With large, twisting hives carved into and against sandy mounds of brittle earth around a rather gloomy, Gothic in design castle in the center of the swarm. The changeling swarm accepted the orders from the center of their kingdom without a second's delay, regardless of what their queen had asked of them. And until recently, she had never asked for anything too outlandish or of that sort. She had asked for prisoners, scouts to search the surrounding areas, daily reports on common events; the typical for an evil queen. However, she began asking for strange things.

Oats, children's books, pillows. So many strange things. But they did not blame their queen, they blamed those two. For whatever reason, their queen became attached to those two creatures. And as loyal members of the swarm, her subjects never questioned her over it out-loud. Though, over time, they swarm accepted the two as sub-leaders of their swarm under Queen Chrysalis. The most curious of the two was not Discord, the master of chaos and lunacy; but Pipsqueak the colt, the most curious of any creature they had ever known. However, as all changelings know, too much curiosity leads to trouble...

"Cap'n?" Pipsqueak nudged against Discord's laying form.

Discord looked out into the spanning plains of the Changeling Empire, drool threatening to leak between his mouth as he was consumed by the utter boredom. "I... I've never seen something so boring, Pippi Longstocking..." Discord marvelled at the land outside of the castle window, "By god... I think I'm actually growing dumber just looking at it..."

Pip nudged Discord once again with a little more effort. "Cap'n? I--"

"Pipzza Pie, are you looking at this?" Discord continued to stare blankly into Chrysalis' kingdom, "It's the most boring thing I've ever seen. I... I feel like honestly crying right now. It's that boring...!"

"Cap'n!" Pip slipped and hit his muzzle against the floor while trying to push Discord into paying attention to him.

Discord finally snapped to attention and lifted Pip up into his talon hand, bringing the colt up to eye level with him. "Pipcorn, what do you need?"

Pipsqueak first rubbed his bruised snout with his front hoof before looking back to his oddly made friend. "When I was walkin' through tow' t'day, say a baby changelin' tryin' t' fly," Pipsqueak stopped touching his snout and made all his attention fix onto Discord. "When I was watchin', idea popped into me 'ead an' I trotted ov'ah to find ya'."

"Ohhhhhhhhhh! Ideas huh?" Discord moved Pip a bit in the talon he was standing on, a curious smirk coming to his awkward face, "Fun ideas that like throwing rotten tomatoes at Chrysy? Or thought provoking ideas like picking up an atlas and throwing that at Chrysy?"

"Cap'n...?" Pip's eyes locked against Discord's with the greatest sincerity and wide-eyed youth anyone had ever seen, "Where do babies come from?"

All being of Discord wanted to just fall to the floor and die. Because there would be nothing more beautifully awkward than what Pipsqueak just asked. He wanted to put Pip down and just spend the next few hours laughing, only to take a break and continue laughing again. But, no. Discord wiped the stupid smile cracking against his face and tried to look at Pipsqueak seriously. "Where do babies come from? Well... Now that sure is a question... A question you should ask your mother," this was too good to pass up.

"Ask Chrysalis?"

"Yeah," Discord put Pip back onto the floor and smiled, "She'll love answering that question for you."

"If ya' say so, Cap'n," Pip trotted down the hall while Discord waved him off.

Half-way down the hall. Almost there... And...

"BAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAAAAH!" Discord hit the floor, his long tail flailing into the air while his paw smacked against his face.

"So, my child, you are curious about the birds and the bees?" Queen Chrysalis paced through her personal chamber as Pip stood at the entrance. "Honestly, I am surprised you hesitated to such a point. Regardless, allow me to explain to you where babies come from."

Pipsqueak scurried across the room and plopped himself on top of Chrysalis' bed, feeling the very soft bounce of it soften against his flank. Queen Chrysalis, high and sole ruler of the Changelings, had waited for this moment. And it seemed fate shined upon her as it would have appeared Discord was not in range to ruin any moment of education. With a clear of her throat into one of her holed legs, Chrysalis began.

"Changelings are not born through the means that other sentient life-forms. All drones, warriors, and so on are born via the queen -myself- lays a nit of eggs into a spawning pit properly filled with the essences of love. This way, when the eggs hatch, the larvae may have a taste of the nutrient of their lives. A queen must lay her nit of eggs once a month to keep the hive lively and will tended to. And that, Pipsqueak, my dear, is where babies come from."

"...What a'out ponies?"

Chrysalis paused for a moment, letting a silence take the room. When she finally looked to Pip again, she raise an eye at him. "Excuse me?"

"Ponies. Like me. If Changelin's are born from eggs, where are ponies born from?"

A changeling knows how ponies are born. The activity leading to impregnating a pony is a chief way of extracting love from a pony. This is common knowledge even among the youngest of changelings. But among younger ponies... Chrysalis started to rub a hoof against her leg with a red shade coming across her dark face. "Well... As it were... Ponies are produced... It's a matter of... In the sense that... I-It's like flowers, Pip..."

"Chrysy? What're you sayin'?" Even she didn't know what she was saying there.

"My point, Pipsqueak, is that Changelings reproduce this way, and ponies do so that way." This wasn't getting any less awkward for Chrysalis; and the innocent curiosity on Pipsqueak's face was doing little to help.

"What is 'that way'? Come on, tell me... Please?" The look of pure, unmistakeable curiosity... She had lost.

"V-Very well..." Pip instantly brightened up and brushed his tail against Chrysalis' bed, "You see... where to start? It begins at insemination. This is... This is the act of having a male releasing his sperm to... To join together with a female's egg. When the two meet within a female's... A female's..." Just say it, "womb... They stay together and form into a living colt or filly over the time of a few months... And that is how a pony is made."

"...How is it born?" Why!?

"The female gives labour and... releases the newborn pony into the world through their... vaginal pass..." That should sate him for now...

"Oh..." a moment's calm graced the air of the room for a moment, giving Chrysalis a chance to take in a gentle, calming breath. "...What's a vaginal pass?" Son of a...

"Do you know what a penis is?" Just... Just go with something...

"Me willy?"

"...Yes... Your... Willy. A vagina is like that... Only for females."

"Oh..." Finally... Now I can just-- "Do changelin's 'ave willies and vaginas?"

She just wanted this to end. Just for this to stop before her heart finally exploded in on itself from stress. "Yes... More or less. As changelings, we can sprout any extra organs we need. Though the more elite of the swarm are natural to them."

"...Do you 'ave one?"

Silence.

Chrysalis couldn't -wouldn't- answer that question. She shouldn't answer that question in a million years. In a million years, she may still be alive, but Pip would be dead and buried. That's when she could answer it. Though, something in her started to move through her throat, and before she could cut it off... "I do."

"I knew it! You're the most elite of 'em all, Chrysy!" Pipsqueak cheered with his usual display of childish wonder.

Chrysalis formed a lopsided smile and bowed a thanks to Pipsqueak. Odd as it may be, it did bring her some joy to be praise in such a way. In the end, this talk didn't go so bad in Chrysalis' mind. With it behind them now, Pipsqueak was better from learning and they could--

"Can I see it?" BUUUUUUU--

"P-Pipsqueak," Chrysalis laughed nervously as her hooves shuffled awkwardly under her body, "A pony's... private area... is to remain just that; private." She looked up to see Pipsqueak's eyes, regretting it a moment after. His eyes looked hopeful and interested. Even given the material he was interested in, she... She... "...Just a moment's glance will not do great harm... I suppose... But just a moment..."

Pipsqueak jumped on Chrysalis' bed, ruffling her sheets and letting out little cheers of joy. Chrysalis, queen of the changelings and destroyer of males of every race, started to feel heated all across her dark body. Embarrassment tingled in every curve of her body as she sauntered over to Pipsqueak, her steps very uneven as she bit into her bottom lip. When she got to the bed, Pip had finally settled down and looked at Chrysalis with waiting, expecting eyes. The last time Chrysalis could remember seeing eyes like that was back during her impersonation of Cadance... Though, in this case, Pip was not after the same thing Shining Armor was after.

Chrysalis gently clutched Pip with the green hold of her magic and lowered him off of the bed to be placed against the floor. Every never inside of Chrysalis begged her not to do it... But those nerves were silenced as Chrysalis sat against her flank and began to open her hind legs to Pipsqueak.

"Well this certainly isn't boring.." Chrysalis' mind shattered as she heard a voice from behind Pipsqueak.

She didn't want to look, in hopes that if she didn't, it would go away. But alas, it didn't... She looked over at Pipsqueak studying her offered anatomy and saw a familiar lord of chaos hunching over Pipsqueak and getting a look for himself. Pipsqueak nearly had his head cleaved off as Chrysalis slammed her legs closed and fluttered her wings faster than she ever did before, busting down her room door and flying down her castle hall.

"...Did you learn anything today, Pips and Pans?" Discord asked with a look down at Pipsqueak.

Pip simply looked up at Discord and gave a very kind smile across his young face. "I learned Chrysy is very shy."

"That's my boy..."