The Wind in the Willow Tree

A terrific whirring sound emanated inside a massive, ornate, marble chamber of a room. High above hung a swaying, beautiful chandelier, with nearly a hundred eerie, orb like lights floating above what appeared to be unlit candles attached to it. The sides of the circular room were laced with statues of various spirits: some ponies, some other animals.

None appeared to be of the princesses.

And suddenly, a strange, blue box appeared below the chandelier, then disappeared, then reappeared, over and over, as if it couldn't make up its mind whether it wished to exist or not, before it finally settled on the former. A second later, the doors to it swung open to reveal very frazzled looking Princess Luna.

"Well, that certainly was interesting," she grunted, drunkenly swaying out of it and shaking her head, as if she were discombobulated.

"Sorry, sorry," the Doctor chuckled, stepping out beside her along with Zecora and Nightmare Moon. "It's a bit more...  difficult to navigate in the spirit realm than your regular time and space. Can make for quite a bumpy ride."

"I dare say, I feel like my stomach isn't going to stay," Zecora moaned.

Nightmare Moon, however, seemed to think quite the opposite.

"Heh, well I thought it was kind of fun!" she grinned. "What the hell is that thing, anyway? I mean... how come it looks like something out of a Scifi novel or something? Well, on the inside at least."

"It might as well be," the Doctor smirked. "It stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. It's a time machine as well as an instantaneous transport! And much more efficient and easy to use than time spells, I may add."

"Ooooo, reminds me of your counterpart's machine thing, though he calls it the TERRORDIS," Nightmare Moon smiled.

"Ah, yes... well... he is quite brilliant himself, I suppose," the Doctor stated somewhat reluctantly.

"Uhhh... Doctor, hate to burst your bubble," Luna sweat-dropped, glancing about. "But this doesn't look like the Trinity Vault... this looks like-" Her eyes widened. "Oh, please don't tell me-"

"Yes, we're in the Ministry of Spirithood!" the Doctor beamed, twirling about to get a good look at the place. "Isn't it magnificent?! Such grandeur, such... pompous arrogance etched in every single detail!!"

"Yeah... well this is nice and all," Luna coughed. "But I didn't really come here for a sight-seeing tour. We need to get to the Trinity Vault-"

"But we're at the Trinity Vault!" the Doctor chirped. "It's merely several hundred levels below us!"

"Great..." Luna groaned.

"Not be a nit-picker or anything, Doc, but why didn't we just TARDIS us directly down there?" Nightmare Moon asked.

"Because there seems to be some sort of interference," the Doctor stated, still glancing around. “Oooo, will you look at that statue!” He pointed to a particular one. “His head looks like a melon!”

"I do not understand; what sort of interference would stall our plan?" Zecora asked.

"Some sort of artifact, I'd say,” the Doctor explained, still glancing at the statue. “My oh my… did he believe his head looked attractive like that? You’d think spirits of some standard would be able to-”

“Doctor…” Luna groaned.

“Er yes,” the Doctor coughed. “It seems to impede teleportation. And whatever it is is powerful enough that I barely was able to get inside the upper levels, and that's with the TARDIS."

"Explains why they don't have any security measures," Luna nodded. "No need if they think they have this place sealed up tight."

"Not tight enough," the Doctor said smugly. "Come on then, let's get a move on. To the Trinity Vault, ALLON-ZY-"

Suddenly, however, the sound of footsteps could be heard echoing about the chamber, halting them in their treks.

"Oh shoot," Luna gulped. "So much for a lack of security."

Nightmare Moon, however, didn't seem so convinced.

"I dunno... my genre savvy senses are tingling," she whispered. "Something tells me this isn't security..."

And suddenly, a distinct, haughty voice made itself known from one of the many entrances.

"Heh, you're smarter than they say, Princess Nightmare Moon!” it echoed about. “There isn't any security! Sept lil' old me, of course."

Luna's eyes widened. There wasn't any possible way anyone else could get inside there that she could think of...

"W-What?!" she shouted, her group forming box formation around her. "Show yourself!"

Suddenly, appearing in one of the entrance-ways was a pair of glowing, blue eyes, and a massive, sharp-toothed grin.

"Heeeeey there!" the voice called again. "Well holy crap, if it isn't miss Princess 'Thousand Year Bon Voyage' Luna! And you didn't even send me a damned post card. Shame, really..."

"That voice... it sounds so familiar..." Princess Luna said, lifting an eyebrow.

"Good memory, Princess," it chirped, and stepping into the light came a pony-sized, white-coated wolf, her face painted with a strange series of lines. "Very good. Man, you guys are really impressing me! Well, except good ole Zecora there, but I'm sure she'll have a chance to... or maybe not. I dunno. Depends on how the evening goes!"

"General Winter," Luna said, her eyes narrowing. "What in the world- and for that matter, HOW in the world did you get in here?"

"That's my dirty little secret to keep," she winked. "But I'm not the only one with dirty little secrets, am I?" She gave a hearty laugh. "Oooohoho man that sounds so wrong when I say it out loud! Sorry about that."

"General who?" Nightmare Moon asked. "Seriously, who are you?" She then squinted a very confused eyebrow. "And why do I hate and like you at the same time?"

"General Winter," Luna repeated. "She's the self-appointed 'guardian' of the season spirits. A spirit of winter if I remember right."

Winter gave another cackle.

"What gave it away; was it the name?" she said, quirking her head. "Or my white coat?"

"You still haven't told us why you're here!" Luna growled.

"Pfffffft-," General Winter said, rolling her eyes. "Duh! What do you think? I'm here to stop your merry band of rogues from breaking into the Trinity Vault!"

"What!?” Princess Luna asked, her voice filled with shock. "How did you know that-“

“Hahaha, oh that’s funny,” Winter cackled, throwing her an incredulous expression. “You really think I’m going to tell you that?”

“Worth a shot,” Luna grunted. “But what the heck?! I’d have thought you’d want the season spirits replaced!”

General Winter narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, NATURALLY! I don't want friggin' mortals bumped up into their slots! That's just wrong! You know that the seasons would never be as stable that way!" she growled, her voice sounding aggressive for the first time. "But you've always had a metaphorical hard-on for mortals, haven't ya, Luna?"

The Night Princess narrowed her eyes. "Those who I plan to ascend are perfectly capable of carrying out the turning of the seasons!"

"And if I recall correctly," the Doctor said, holding up a hoof. "Weren't you-"

"No need to get into that!" she snapped, before finally composing herself slightly. "Eh, doesn't matter though. Your cute little ploy here is finished. The four of you are gonna be taking a nice, payed vacation to Azkadam!"

"Seriously?!" Luna said, her eyes widening.

"For serial!" Winter chirped, grinning. "Shouldn't be breaking into government buildings unless ya want to pay."

"You broke into here, too!" Zecora growled. "Though I suppose being a hypocrite suits you."

"Eh, I'm sure they'll forgive a bit of vigilantism!" General Winter smirked smugly. "Picture it, my friends. In The Spirit Times." She spread two paws across the air dramatically. "The heroic General Winter saves the friggin' day again!"

"Odd definition of the word 'heroic'," Zecora muttered. "You are far from that, and unlike a General, not very stoic!"

"Meh, whatever you say Zecora," Winter said. "Oh, and by the way. That spell you have protecting the Everfree Forest? Good bit of magic, totally awesome! But uh... worthy of about two centuries in Azkadam for interfering not only playing favorites with mortals, but for interfering in other spirits' affairs!"

"W-What?!" Zecora cried. "You dare smite me for that? It's not my fault the forest is located where it's at!"

"Hey, don't shoot the gal who reads the lawbooks: unlike you, I should say," the General growled. She then turned towards Luna. "But ya see, it isn't all bad, not all of Equestria is getting icicled! They can hide in there while things get all sorted out. Okay, Princess!?"

She could tell she wasn't trying to use her title out of respect.

"There is a better way than that-" she began, before the General cut her off with:

"But I'm afraid you won't be the one leading em' to the promised lands, though! It's time to say 'hi' to the Dementhors!"

"Ugh, should I say it?" Nightmare Moon said, glancing at her party.

"S-Say what?" Luna asked.

"Screw it, I'm totally saying it:" she grinned, turning back towards General Winter. "And who's going to take us? You and what army?!"

General Winter's smug smile couldn't get any wider at that.

"Ohohoho man! I'm so glad you asked! Allow me to introduce my new bitches!" she beamed, and suddenly, the group was surrounded. Coming from a number of entrances were a series of gas-masked clad soldiers.

"Righto! Present arms, boys!" General Winter roared, the soldiers immediately cocking and leveling rifles at them.

"Eh, well... I suppose she is a General," Nightmare Moon sweat-dropped, Luna throwing her a glare. "What are those, anyway, spirit rifles or something?"

"Yep!" General Winter chirped. "They'll kill ya dead... or at least half-way there, and kill mortals double-dead. Who says spirithood is immortality? Not mah guns! I ain't afraid of no ghost!"

"Oooo, stylish getup, though," the Doctor said in a mocking tone, rolling his eyes. "Love the gas masks. Expecting trench warfare? Ghostly mustard gas attacks?"

"This coming from the pony wearing the bow-tie," General Winter glared.

The Doctor gave her a stern, menacing look. "You take that back!"

"Pffft, and I bet you think they're cool, too! Well, they're not! Gas masks are, though!" General Winter smirked, glancing at her soldiers. "You guys think they're cool, right?"

The soldiers gave stern nods.

"There you have it," General Winter said smugly. "Oh, and Number 6, can you do the thing?"

"Do I have to..."

"Pleeeeeeease!"

"Fine." He then glanced at the Doctor. "Are you my mummy?"

The Doctor's eyes widened. "H-How did you-"

"Spoilers," Winter winked. "Helps with intimidation a bit, too," she continued. "Nightmare Moon would know a thing or two about that. In fact, she'd probably know a thing or two about who's behind their masks! They are without leadership thanks to her!"

The group turned to Nightmare Moon, who looked as confused as ever. It could have been she was just faking it, however. "Beats me. I don’t know what she’s talking about,” she shrugged.

"Ohohoho, you dirty liar," Winter chuckled, waving a paw in a 'oh no she didn't' manner. "Naughty naughty."

"Ewwww," Nightmare Moon gagged. "Don't hit on me. I feel like I need to take a blood shower now..."

"General Winter!" Luna snapped, taking a menacing step towards her. She merely put on a smile as if to say, 'awwww look, she's trying to be uppidity.'

Luna wanted to gag her at that point, though she held her temper. "General Winter," she repeated in a softer tone. "I don't know how far your head is up your flank, but have you taken a look at what your season's been doing? The mortal world is freezing to death! There are ponies and wolves dying at this very moment! Without new spirits to turn the seasons, the mortal world is doomed!"

"Yuh-huh, sure," General Winter said in a bored tone, before actually yawning. "That's until new spirits manifest, ya silly goose-"

"THEY WON'T MANIFEST FOR YEARS!" Luna roared. "Quit acting so damned pompous, like you know how everything is going to turn out!"

"Pfffft, I know what's going to happen; so a bunch of mortals will kick it for the sake of the natural order," General Winter said, waving an apathetic paw about. "Big whoopdy-friggin'-boohoo-doo! We're the only thing that matters! They're ants compared to us! How many ant hills have you smashed without even knowing that you've smashed em' for crying out loud? Would you even care if you did?!"

"I-I can't believe you!" Princess Luna gasped. "I thought you were just stupid, but it turns out you're both stupid and callous! And your analogy is terrible: you can't interact with ants! They don't have the neurons for that!"

"Er..." Zecora said, holding up a hoof. "I believe I can state you aren't correct, but perhaps arguing now would not be best."

"And I try to avoid smashing ant hills," Nightmare Moon whimpered. "I thought everywisp else did so too when in mortal form! The poor things..." The group shot her a weird look at that. "What? So I'm somewhat emotional! Big deal!" She then glared back at General Winter. "And I take it back what I said about hating and liking you: it's just the former!"

"Ooooh, so the leader of a pointless holiday hates me?" Winter taunted. "Man... dunno how I'm going to live with myself!"

Nightmare Moon opened her mouth to retort, but apparently found nothing. Her ears began to sag downward, sorrowfully.

The Doctor, seeing this, patted her on the back. "There, there. You aren't anything like the 'real' you, you know that? And Nightmare Night was bloody awesome this year! I got to help take down a giant tar monster!" he added, which seemed to perk her mood somewhat. He then glared back at General Winter. "So, what happens now? Are you going to take us into custody?"

"Dat's the plan!" she grinned. "Now, if you all will just sit tight while we feed you some good ole fashioned higher plane knockout potion."

They suddenly inched closer to them, the group drawing closer together.

"Oh my, then we do have a bit of an issue here," the Doctor smiled. "You see, me and captivity don't go very well. In fact, if there's one spirit you never ever want to try to do that with, it’s me."

"Oh, please," General Winter said, rolling her eyes. "I've heard of you, Doctor, and I've heard of the little speeches you like to give to the supposed 'villains.' Please don't try to 'I AM THE DOCTOR' me unless you really do have a trick up your sleeve."

"Yet you don't know," the Doctor winked. "And I bet it's driving you mad, isn't it?"

Winter paused for a second in mock-thought, before shaking her head.

"Nope. Not really."

The Doctor lifted an eyebrow. "Huh, they usually have a heart attack at this point.”

The soldiers continued to close in, white clouds of vapor echoing forth from their gas-masks, the sound of their muffled 'breathing', or whatever it was, echoing through the chamber.

"Er yeah, if you do have a plan... now's the time to do it, Doc," Nightmare Moon gulped.

The Doctor gave a chuckle. "Relax, Nightmare. If it helps, you can pretend I have a plan like I'm doing!"

"Not helping!" she cried, before squinting in thought, however. "But what am I get worried for, for the night's sake?! I'm an alicorn! And so are you, Luna!"

"I'm not sure how effective our magic will be against those rifles, though," Luna stated.

"Well, it's either we try fighting and die now, or we go to Azkadam and wish we were dead!"

The two then turned towards each other, gazing into each other's eyes. And at that moment, it was as if they had linked minds.

"Er yeah... fighting it is," Luna nodded in agreement.

"Preferably without the dying part, if you please," the Doctor said, lifting a hoof. "Regenerating can be a bit painful, you know."

"Shields up then, baby!" Nightmare Moon grinned, and suddenly, a bubble-shield popped up around them, courtesy of her glowing horn. She then grinned towards Luna. "And weapons online?"

Luna gave a smirk, her horn glowing a piercing blue. "And here's something I never thought would happen in my life..."

SHIIIINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!.!.!

With a brilliant noise that sounded somewhat like a vibrating table-glass, a torrent of light cascaded from her horn, sending one of the soldiers sailing into the far wall, him letting out a distinct, high-pitched wail.

"Oh isn't that special?" Winter cooed. "They've got a little shield thingy! God I've always hated unicorn magic. Make it go away, mmmm'kay?"

"Roger that," a soldier grunted, and the twenty or so of them brought their weapons to bear.

RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!.!.!.!

A series of shots rang forth from them, giving the room an eerie glow. What seemed to be explosive bullets that detonated in flashes of brilliant, blue light then began cascaded off the shield. It collapsed almost immediately.

"HOLD FIRE!" Winter yelled. "I want them alive if possible. Corpses make bad publicity, especially if they're princess corpses."

Nightmare Moon gulped, glancing about nervously. "Alright, time for plan B!"

"Indeed it is, my ghoulish friend. It's time for this to come to an end," Zecora whispered, pulling out a sack of what seemed to be a sort of powdery substance. She placed a bit of it on her hoof, drew it near her mouth,

"Serasiem deltaria," she whispered.

-And then blew. Immediately, it began to scatter throughout the room.

"Ooooo, voodoo magic?" Nightmare Moon grinned. "Are they all going to like... turn into pineapples after a second?"

Zecora shook her head with a smile, as if to say, 'wait for it.'

"Dancing pineapples?" Nightmare Moon suggested.

Zecora shook her head again, holding up a hoof.

The group drew quiet...

The soldiers drew closer... step by step... their red eyes piercing into their targets... their breathing echoing through the room... and their rifles' metal parts glistening off the light from above.

The Doctor narrowed his eyes...

Zecora smirked widely...

And suddenly, out of nowhere, a forest appeared in the room. Every grain of dust that had fallen on the floor was suddenly a tree, it digging its roots into the marble through some impossible, magical means, and kicking up solid stone every which way.

"RAAAAAAAUGGHHHH!.!.!"

A few of the soldiers were sent flying into the ceiling by the now towering trees, or were caught in their lofty branches.

"Oh you've got to be- seriously?!" they heard the General cry through the now dense brush. "Oh son of a bitch! Alright, no more Ms. Nice General, shoot them in the legs; do whatever you have to bring them in! I don't care anymore!"

"H-Holy - bloody-" the Doctor stammered, turning towards Zecora with a very impressed look upon him. "That was brilliant!"

"Thank you, but it will not hold them back for long," Zecora said, nodding Luna's way. "We will attempt to keep them at bay, but for you I must say 'be gone'!"

"Uh-uh! I'm not leaving you three here to be sent to Azkadam for my sake!" Luna said, stamping a hoof. "You're coming with me! I doubt General Winter will try to arrest us in Canterlot!"

"We'll be fine," the Doctor winked. "I've been in rougher spots before. We'll pick off a few, keep them off your back, and then get to the TARDIS as long as a tree isn't growing in it at the moment..."

"I shut the door," Nightmare Moon nodded

"Alright, that’s good,” the Doctor smiled. "We should be alright!" He then turned back towards Princess Luna, giving her a stern glance. "Now, enough dilly-dallying! Get moving!"

"H-How do I even get out of here, though?" Luna asked.

"Hmmmm...." he said, and Luna could practically see the neurons firing in his impressive brain. "Right!" he said, holding up a triumphant hoof. "I think I've got a thing!"

"A thing?"

"Yes! A thing! The artifact... it makes it harder to get in than out! I know because I've broken in here once before. We couldn't teleport out right now, obviously, but since I believe the artifact is located in the lower levels, if you can get to the upper ones above this, you should be able to-"

"Gotcha, Doctor," Luna nodded, breathing heavily now. "I'll see you on the other side, okay? All of you."

Nightmare Moon held up a hoof "What about-"

"Yes, you can come too," Luna sighed, though somewhat reluctantly. She was still getting used to being around her 'evil' twin.

She heard the sound of hoofsteps nearby... the soldiers were getting closer...

"Time to go!" Nightmare Moon said to her, smiling. "Team Ascension forever!"

"Good luck to you, my friend, I assure you that this is not our end," Zecora smiled.

Luna took a deep breath. "I know it won't be."

With that, Luna gave her one last thankful smile before taking off in a gallop towards one of the many entrance-ways to the commons. She heard the sound of a scuffle, a gunshot, Nightmare Moon crying 'welcome to the jungle, baby!', and then it all became a muffled mess when she made it into one of the branching hallways.

She dared not look back.