It's a rosy little world

by Mr Ignorable

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 528

The bizarre, unrealistic, and completely mind boggling life of Roselyn Luck

Roseluck needs White Rose seeds for wedding.

Roseluck can't find White Rose seeds in Ponyville.

Roseluck has quantum entanglement problems.

Roseluck gets put under Citizen's Arrest by Hell.

Roseluck becomes the King under the Mountain.

Roseluck becomes a god for all of three minutes.

Roseluck has problems with the Mafia.

Roseluck is having a bad day.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-26 02:50:48 UTC

Roseluck is usually screaming, but you can't hear it.

Roseluck likes reading, watching old movies, and growing things.

Roseluck hates noise, babies, and the feel of oil on her body.

Roseluck has a house on Main street, right next to an all day daycare which she swears is populated almost exclusively by shrieking abominations of nature. Who do not like 1)Naptime 2) Food 3)Being quiet.

Roseluck has a few voices in her head. There's Screamy, Nervous, and Drunky. Screamy just screams, usually when ponies are being obnoxious. Nervous is the voice that constantly keeps talking. She'd call it her train of thought, but he likes going from nervously commenting on the day to talking about how Mr. Filthy Rich's coat would look lovely as a carpet. And then there's Drunky who usually comes out everyday, and is the one thing stopping herself from going on an axe-murdering rampage.

Roseluck is a bag of sunshine and roses.

If you're wondering why I'm telling you this, its because Roseluck is currently stepping out onto Main Street with a big ol' smile on her face, ready to eat shit through a straw and get back home to her seven or eight bottles of Hard Cider she got on clearance from Sweet Apple Acres.

~~~

"Hello Ponyville! Marvelous day isn't it? The trees're singin' an the birds're swingin'!" Roseluck stated, getting at least three concerned stares from passerbyes as she emerged from her house. In truth, Roseluck may have been a little drunk from the night previous, as nothing seemed to want to stay in focus and she felt very good about life.

She started sauntering down the flattened dirt road that served as Ponyville's heart, all the while swinging drunkenly from side to side.

Did I mention it was six in the morning?

"Um..R-roseluck? Are you okay? You seem a bit-" started Twilight Sparkle who had been bumped into by Roseluck.

"Yup! Yuppity yupyupyup! Doing good!" Stated a Roseluck who may or may not have been seeing three or four Twilight Sparkle's at the moment.

"Is" Twilight took a sniff and recoiled "is that-" which was about as far as Twilight got before Roseluck's hoof made its way into her mouth.

"Now before you finish, I'd like to say that I decided to play a little drinking game last night. Can  you guess what it was?" Twilight shook her head no as the off-white mare's smile grew to near psychotic proportions. "I decided to play a game with two or three bottles of Hard Cider, and i mean really hard cider. The kind Applejack keeps off the books because it could put down a Minotaur. You see, I played this game where I looked at all my sales figures for my shop for the past week, and I took a shot when any sale went into the red. You following?"

Twilight shook her head yes, one part of her scared witless, the other part intrigued.

"Now, see I took a lot of shots, and I mean a lot of shots. The kind of amount that makes you wake up in a Manehattan sewer wearing magical nipple tassels and a tattooed hoo-hah.