The Chronicles of QuickStomp

"Wakey wakey eggs and bakey!"

A cheery, hyperactive voice reminiscent of you niece pierces your dreamless sleep. You toss and turn in your bed, not wanting to get up. "Go away, Caroline." you mutter. "Let me sleep a little longer..."

At these words you twist in your bed, only to find that, well, you've ran out of bed to lie on. Your face cracks across the cold wooden floor, pain reaching up through your nose.

Great, you think, talk about waking up on the wrong side of the bed....

"Hey! Mister Huuuuumaaaaan?! Are you ok?"

At the title of 'Mister Human', your previous memories of last night flood into your mind. You choke back the feeling of hopelessness and panic that attacks once again, and put on a plastic smile. You roll over on your back, and let out a gasp of air as the pony in your room jumps on your stomach.

"Urgleburglensmdns! What the- How'd you get in here?"

The pink pony stared at you for a second, then leaned up real close to your face, before taking a deep breath and....

"Hidon'tyourembermefromlastnight?MynameisPinkiePiebutyoucancallmePinkieorPieorPinkiepi-"

"Alright, alright, never mind," you turn left, making the pink pony whose name was Pinkie roll off with you.

"Omygosh! That's right! Today's the day Mayor Mare's gonna introduce you to the town!"

You cast the pink hyperactive (and maybe slightly crazy) pony a glance.

"Already? But...There could be a chance that... Maybe Twilight found my way home..."

Pinkie's ears droop. "Yeah.... Well..."

You are interrupted by a huge BANG from downstairs, followed by a yell of frustration.

"WHY THE BUCK IS THIS NOT WORKING?"

You jump up and, slamming the door behind you, rush down the stairs. Twilight is staring at the mural of drawings that you came out of last night, breathing heavily. Her mane was splayed out all over the place, and she was slamming her hooves on the ground.

Pinkie popped up in front of you, quite literally knocking you off their feet. "What the- Pinkie I thought you were upsta-"

"Nope! Not anymore!" She leans down to your ear and whispers, "Be careful, though, Twilight's in one of her 'moods'"

"What? Mood? What mood?" Byt the party pony was nowhere to be seen. Shrugging off the strange feeling you had when talking to Pinkie (who was totally a ninja in your mind now) you walk over to Twilight. "Uhhhh....Twi?"

She turns to face you, and you let out a small yeep. Her eyes are the first thing you notice. They are nothing but huge white orbs, with tiny pinpricks of black where her pupils would be. She is struggling to restrain a obvious twitch, and her eyelid is partially closed, making one eye larger than the other, hunchback of notre dame style. There is sweat dripping down her face. After realizing it's you, she smiles, increasing the creep factor by 9000%. The smile is obviously strained, and is giving her a Joker-ish vibe.

"Oh, it's you! Hey!" She says in an unnervingly cheery voice.

"Urrrr....Twilight....is something wrong?"

"Wrong?" Her eye twitches. Oh shit. "Why in the world would anything be wrong? I was just up all night doing nothing but attempting to find your dimension so you could return, an so far I've seen knights, more humanoid creatures that weren't you, a desert planet with twin suns,Several things nopony should have to see, an underwater city, and I've prevented at least 7 different monsters from passing through and destroying Ponyville! So yes, there is. Nothing. Wrong."

During this whole 'V for Vendetta' style rant, Twilight Sparkle had been slowly approaching you. When she finished you were pressed up against a bookshelf, with her looking up at you with those insane eyes.

You manage to finally say something after having been paralyzed by her rant due to fear. "You....W-were up all night looking for my world?"

"Yes. I. Was."

"Maybe we should take a break, then..." You say, attempting to calm her down.

Twilight sighs and flops down on the ground. "Oh thank Celestia! I think I was about to pass out there from over exhaustion!"

You think over what she's been doing. Magic must be very tiring, and it looks as if Twilight had expended more than a reasonable amount.

"Oh Godesses this is harder than levitating a Ursa Minor...." The purple unicorn groans from the floor. You get an idea at this moment. You head over to your instruments, which now lay in a corner, and pick up your guitar. Twilight's ears perk up when she sees you.

"What are you doing?" She asks.

"I'm just gonna play you a little of our music to help relax you, that alright?"

"Music? From your world? Oh wait oh wait oh wait just a second!" The librarian jumps up and rushes upstairs, soon returning with a paper and quill levitating next to her, surrounded by that weird purple glow.

She sits down on a nearby pillow and looks at you expectantly.

You cast her a confused look. "What are you doing?"

"This is a great time to compare our culture's music! You see, I'm compiling a report about your species as extra-credit for Princess Celestia. I'm sure we can learn sooooo much about each other!"

You raise an eyebrow at this statement. There's a LOT about humans that not even you know about. You figure that you should also learn about the world where you are currently stuck in as well.

"Alrighty then," you say, "In my world, Earth-"

"Like earth ponies?" Asks Twilight.

"No, the planet's name is Earth. Well, our music is very diverse, much like our people. I noticed that you ponies are split into unicorns, pegasi and normal ponies. Humans come in many shapes, sizes, races and types. Each culture of humans has it's own unique music, and that culture's music is divided into types, and those types are divided into subtypes, and so on." While you are explaining this you pull a guitar pick from your wallet and begin to tune your 1985 Les Paul, playing a couple of chords. A question pops up in your mind. "What types of music exist here, in Equestria?"

Twilight stops writing and thinks for a second, wrinkling her nose. "Well, classical music has been around since the Goddesses themselves. We also have pop music, like Sapphire Stones, and party music, like techno and dubstep, as well as country, jazz and opera." She smiles, and looks at you expectantly.

You wait for her to continue, but promptly find yourself dumbstruck by the lack of music variety. "Ar-are you sure you're not forgetting any?"

"No, I don't think so."

"....Huh."

"What's wrong?"

"That's just such a small number of music types! And you missed the biggest influence of them all, by the way-rock."

Now it was Twilight's turn to raise an eyebrow quizzically at you. "Rock? What's that like?"

"It's a .... Wait a minute, you mean you have techno, country, jazz and pop music but no rock in Equestria?"

"I've never heard of it before... maybe..."

Twilight floats a large book off a shelf. You glance at the title. The writing is the familiar loopy writing on the texts in Twilight's guest room you stayed in, so therefore it just looks like a bunch of scribbles to you. She flips all the way to the back of the book, and then runs a hoof up a page, mouthing the words she is reading.

"Huh. Apparently, according to 'Equestrian Notes: a History of Music' there is no such thing as rock."

You stare at her, flabbergasted. No rock? What kind of hell is this?

"Do you think you could play some for me?"

You blink your eyes and shake your head, clearing it of it's state of dumbfoundedness.

"I said," Twilight repeats herself, a slightly annoyed look on her face, "Do you think you could play me some?"

"What? Oh yeah, sure. Do you wanna here a certain type or....?"

"What kinds are there?"

You take a deep breath, than begin to rattle of the countless types of rock you have played or heard. Light, classic, heavy metal, speed metal, punk, screamo, alternative and many more names pass your lips before you stop. Twilight feverently writes down everything you said, before swiping the quill across the page with a flourish and picking up a new one with her magic.

"Let's hear some of this 'classic' rock. Is it like classical music?" She asks.

You think for a second. AC DC? Classical? But some bands were.... The most classical sounding song pops in your head, and you smile.

'Yeah' you think, 'That'll do'

You place your fingers in a familiar position, and, placing the pick in your mouth, begin playing the beginning of 'Stairway to Heaven' by Led Zepplin with your fingers.

You feel the vibrations of the strings deep within you as your fingers move of the frets with practiced ease. You finish the introduction to the song, not planning on playing the whole thing without hooking up your effects pedal and amp.

Glancing over at Twilight, you see that her eyes are closed and she was swaying to the music. Noticing you stopped, she opens her eyes.

"That was beautiful! Are there any lyrics?"

"Yeah, this song's just hard to play and sing at the same time."

"What's it called?"

"'Stairway to Heaven' By Led Zepplin"

"Led....Zepplin?"

"Yeah, they're a band."

"Ohhhh.... What's the song about?"

"Well, that's not the whole song, but it's about a lady dying."

Twilight gasps and puts her hoof to her mouth. "That's terrible! Why would anypony write a song about that?"

"There are worse things songs have been written about." You say nonchalantly, with the song 'A Little Piece of Heaven' by Avenged Sevenfold coming to mind. Twilight just shakes her head.

"Let's stop music for a while. What about...."

The two of you proceed to spend the next two hours teaching each other as much as possible about each other's world's and cultures. You tell Twilight about television, vehicles, government, Earth as a planet and food, as well as much human history as you could remember from your high school years. She in turn tells you about Equestria, the Goddesses and the different races there, as well as a brief display of pony etiquette and a quick explanation of who's who in Ponyville.

A quick knock on the door cuts into your explanation of transportation on Earth.

"For the last time Twi, I don't know why we drive on parkways and park on driveways-"

"EXCUSE ME!" A loud voice, also female, comes barging through the window.

Twilight opens the door. Standing there is a brownish pony, with curly grey hair and glasses.

Twilight steps back. "Oh, Mayor Mare! Is it that time already?"

"Yes, Twilight, it is." The mayor looks over you. "So you're the alien species that we shall be introducing to the town? My, Lyra's going to throw a fit."

"Uhhhhhh...." You glance over at Twilight, but she just waves her hoof in a dismissing manner.

"You really are something to look at! Hands, no hair, except your mane... And so tall! What is the name of your species?"

"I-uh, hu-human?" You manage to say, startled by the promptness of this pony as she circled you.

"Well, Mister Human, we shall have to get going soon. Today's the anniversary of the founding of Ponyville, so I will introduce you before our guest performer."

Twilight smacks her face with her hoof. "Gah! I forgot today's also the celebration! Mayor, do you mind bringing him to the town hall? I gotta go and make sure that everything's set!" With that, Twilight grabs a couple of papers and places them in a bag, which she then places over her back before taking off through the door.

The Mayor turns towards you. "Let us depart as well. We need to set up for my speech."

You nod and follow the Mayor towards the door. You glance back at the wreckage of your car that still remained in the library, (Twilight said she was going to move it once you were introduced) and take a deep breath as you step out of the door and into the land of Equestria for the first time.

From what you picked up on the Mayor's conversation with Twilight, you were currently in a town called Ponyville, and it did not fail to disappoint. The town was the exact replica of a country village, only with brighter colours than one would expect on the houses. Most of the cabins were the same in shape and colour, but unique buildings stood out amongst others. You guessed these were shops. Glancing back from whence you came, you see that the library is built inside a tree! It's like something from that show your niece watches, "The Bernstein Bears".

The mayor heads off down a nearby street, towards what looks like a much larger building in the middle of the town. Seeing as you don't know your way around, you shove your hands in your pockets and follow her.

While traveling, you take notice of something.

"Scuse' me, Mayor?" She turns around, casting you a quizzical look. "Where is everyone?"

" You mean everypony? At the town hall. That's where we're headed." She points towards the larger building with her hoof. Shrugging your shoulders, you head out to meet the citizens of Ponyville for the first time.

Everypony was gathered in the large space in front of the town hall, ready to begin the celebration of Ponyville's anniversary. For this occasion the hall had been outfitted with a stage, thanks to some heavy work by Big Mac and the construction ponies. There were two questions on everyone's lips today-who was the mystery performer for the celebration and why did both Princesses visit Ponyville last night? Rainbow Dash flew overhead, making sure that no clouds floated into the sky during the celebration, and Applejack ran a small snack bar with Pinkie Pie off to the side, but Fluttershy and Rarity were no where to be seen. Twilight sprinted right up to Applejack, completely out of breath.

"Where's Spike? He's got my list!"

Applejack produced a piece of paper from under the snack bar counter. "He's helping Rarity and Fluttershy with our 'special guest'. He left this for you, though, sugar."

"Oh thank Celestia! How much longer till we start?"

Pinkie Pie burst up from under the counter, a huge grin on her face. Both Twilight and Applejack steeped back, startled by her sudden appearance. "In exactly 12 minutes, 45 seconds and 21 milliseconds, silly! Oh, and can you believe that Sapphihsgdnfkdksbslfn!"

Twilight's horned glowed as she shoved an apple into Pinkie's mouth. "Pinkie! Quiet! It's a surprise, remember?"

Pinkie chomped down on the apple, swallowing it whole. "Okey dokey lokey!" She agreed before disappearing under the counter.

"Wha- how in tarnation DOES SHE DO THAT?" Said Applejack, looking where Pinkie well, poofed.

"I already tried to figure THAT out..." Sighed Twilight. "Alright, I gotta go and do one last check before we can start!"

"Sure thing, sugar! Oh, Ah forgot tah ask, but how's the 'visitor'?"

"He's fine. Mayor Mare's introducing him during her speech. Now I gotta go!"

Applejack tried to say something, but Twilight had already taken off through the crowd, checklist floating next to her. Sighing, she went back to her work, mumbling under her breath.

" Ah don't trust that darn human...."

You glanced up from your phone when the Mayor called your name. You were attempting to get reception, kind of stupid now that you are in another world. You close Tap Tap Revenge 4 and walk up to the Mayor. You are both back stage, in the town hall itself. You snuck through the back door, managing to avoid any of the other ponies. The area was closed off for today, so no one had seen you, yet. Mayor Mare tapped her hoof impatiently, waiting for you.

"Finally! Okay, you know when you are coming on?" You nod your head. She had explained this to you several times on the way here. "Good. Now, wait for your cue, then exit through this door and head onto the stage. I'm warning you now, I don't know how the crowd will react."

You nod again, fully aware that, as the alien species, not all the ponies would accept you. The mayor waltzes out the door, slamming it shut behind her, followed by the sound of hundreds of hooves stomping the ground. Twilight explained to you earlier that that was a common way of clapping.

"A-hem. Citizens of Ponyville...." Mayor Mare began her speech, which chronicled the founding of Ponyville thanks to some farm nearby called Sweet Apple Acres and how this was the 75th anniversary of the town. You faded in and out of the speech, until you hear your cue coming up.

"And so, many of you are wondering why the Princesses came last night. Well, due to an unfortunate accident, a unique being has crossed over into our world from another." A gasp ran through the crowd and there was an small explosion of chatter. "He is not dangerous, and will be living in Ponyville like a regular pony. I hope you all treat him with the same love and tolerance you shows to your fellow ponies. With that, here he is!" A small screech of feedback (screeee!) cuts out your name, but the Mayor doesn't even falter. "....The human!"

You take a deep breath, and open the door leading onto the stage. You are immediately greeted by an even louder gasp than earlier, and step back sheepishly. The Mayor beckons you forward with her hoof, before turning back to the crowd.

"He shall be staying in the Ponyville Library for now. Would you like to say something?" She asks you.

Nervously, you step up to the podium, removing the microphone, which, at normal height, remained at your waist.

"Ummm..." You are greeted by silence. "Hi?"

"GO BACK TO THE EVERFREE FOREST, MONSTER!" A voice yells out from the back. All the ponies burst into conversation at the outburst, some agreeing, some disagreeing, and some just confused.

You angrily stare at the direction that the voice came from. "Say that to my face, bitch." You utter into the microphone, causing the whole town to fall silent. You awkwardly stand onstage, realizing that this wasn't one of your better moments, when the Mayor took the microphone back.

"Well....yes....Our new guest, everyone-"

"Guest? He's a monster!"

"What if he eats ponies?!"

"Send him into Everfree!"

"Are those HANDS?!"

"I like cupcakes!"

"Shut up, Pinkie."

The Mayor then nodded to a mare who sat behind what appeared to be a turntable, who began playing a steady, poppy beat. The mare looked familiar, and you realized she was the one that hit you with the book last night, the one with the blue hair and weird glasses. She smiled and waved at you, though she seemed bored out of her mind.

"And now," Mayor Mare announced, "Our guest performer for the rest of the evening, the one, the only, Sapphire Shores!"

A pale yellow pony with a crystalline blue mane wearing what you thought was the most sparkly outfit ever seen (in both the human and Equestrian worlds) and waaay too much makeup walked on to the stage to a thunderous applause. It seemed that everyone-errr, everypony, knew this character. She tossed a dark look in your direction, as if to say "Get this thing off my stage." Walking up to the mic, she waved a hoof in the air, the universal symbol for quiet down.

"Hey Ponyville! Ready to get your party on!?"

This was met with a louder applause than before, as almost everypony was stomping their feet as well as cheering. The music crescendoed in the background before the yellow pony begin singing.

What's the one thing that makes this world go round?

Love!(clap clap) and Tolerance!

This little thing won't make you frown!

Love!(clap clap) and Tolerance!

When everypony's angry,

Sad or grumpy it's all the same!

We just got to love (clap clap) and tolerate.

You have tuned out of the song by now, as it reminds you of the poppy crap you hear on the radio at home. You are sitting off to the side of the stage, slumped dejectedly in your chair. (Pony chairs were similar to human chairs, just smaller and wider so they could lay down on them) Twilight is next to you, bobbing her head to the beat of the crap coming from onstage.

You twist to face her in the chair.

"How can you like this stuff? It's all the same, over and over again."

Twilight frowns at your outburst. "Sapphire Shores is a very talented singer thank you! And a very nice person, too! Name a human singer that can hold a 3-hour concert!"

"You'd be surprised." You mumble. "I guess I wouldn't mind... Only if she was actually singing!"

Twilight shoots you a confused look. "Not singing? But then what's that I hear, if it's not her?" She pauses just as Shores holds a high note in her song.

You shake your head at her acceptance of this flagrant lie that Shores is presenting. "It's a technique that pop singers on Earth used too. It's called 'lip-synching'. She's just mouthing the words, that DJ is playing a recording of the song."

Twilight squints at Shores, her eyes following the pop pony's mouth movements in time with the beat. She lets out a huge gasp of surprise when Shores missed a lyric by just a little bit. "She's a fake! We have to expose her!" Twilight gets up from her chair. "I'm going to stop this right now!"

You grasp the purple pony by her tail, getting a tiny yelp and a smack across the shins.

"Ow! Jeez, what the fuck was that for?"

"Oh, ah..." Twilight blushes slightly. "The tail's there for a reason... You see it covers up our... You know..."

You feel the heat on your cheeks as you realize what you just did. "Oh shit! Oh my God I'm so sorry Twilight! I just wanted to stop you! Jeez... Anyway, don't do anything right now! Just let the town have it's fun right now. I'm gonna head back to the Library for now."

The nicest pony you've met so far puts on a defeated expression before plopping down in her seat. "Alright. I have to stay here, anyway."

Nodding at her, you head back through the door leading into the town hall.

You throw open the door to the library and enter. The concert could still be heard from afar, for it was blaring through all the portable speakers in Ponyville. The first thing you notice is the group of ponies wearing silly looking construction hats taking apart your wrecked car.

"Oi! What's going on?" You say. A grey pegasus steps forward.

"Princess Luna's orders, human. She going to analyze your technology. Now get out of here, I don't wanna catch some alien disease."

You snarl at her and are about to say something you are probably going to regret before you notice that they've removed your hidden stash of 'entertainment' under the seat. Grabbing them, you stutter a fast apology before rushing upstairs to the guest room. Locking the door behind you, you shove the porn mags under your bed. Last thing we need is for Twilight to get all up in your anatomy. That would just be creepy.

Even though the door is locked, and the window shut, the terrible pop music floats over from the town hall. Sighing, you take out your IPod and plug it into your portable CD player. Not bothering to search for something, you hit shuffle and crank up the volume to max to drown out Shore's recorded voice. You jump onto your bed as the first song comes blaring over the speakers. The heavy e-string intro of "Dr.Feelgood" by Motley Crüe  instantly lightens up you mood. You sing along with the lyrics when they come on, patting your stomach in time to the drums.

Rat-tailed  Jimmy is a secondhand hood

Deals in Hollywood

Got a 65' Chevy

Primed with flames

Traded for some powdered goods

You jump up and begin to air guitar the chorus riff when it comes back on.

He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood!

He's the one that makes you feel alright

He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood!

He's gonna be your Frankenstien

Now, to truly understand the situation, one must remove their view of your awesome air guitar and look at the whole picture. That CD player isn't very quiet. It was fresh off the market, and used a new liquid speaker technology to be really loud. This CD player was so loud, that you could get it OVER Shores performance in the middle of town. Eventually the performance dwindled to a halt when the roaring rock riff tore through everyone's ears. Pinkie looked up from her snack bar.

"What is that? It's really loud!"

Applejack was just plain pissed off. "I'm gonna buck whoever's playing that so hard in the teeth.... I liked that song Shores was singing!"

Rarity and Fluttershy had confused looks on their faces. This was a type of music nopony had really heard before. Plus, was that a male voice they heard? Well, almost nopony was shocked. Twilight immediately began running (galloping?) towards the source of the sound, Rainbow Dash following her through the skies. Twilight ran straight up to the library as the construction ponies inside were running from it.

"Stop it! Stop that terrible noise!" One yelled, holding her hooves to her ears.

Twilight rushed through the door. Rainbow Dash decided then it was her turn to make an appearance, and flew straight at the window to the guest room.

Twilight burst into the guest room with a pained expression on her face. You stop your air drumming ('Breakout' by the Foo Fighters was playing now) and face her. Turing down the music with your CD player's remote, you smile at her. "That, Twilight, is some of the better music I was telling you about earlier."

"Music? That wasn't music! That was pure, de-sensitizing white noise! What mare sings like that, anyway? Turn it off, turn it off!"

Only with the music off you can notice that the concert has stopped.

"Huh, first sign of good music and everyone shuts up?!"

"Good? That was ter-"

Twilight is cut off by a cyan blur speeding through your window, knocking it open, before sprawling across the floor in a heap. You see the heap is the rainbow maned-Pegasus from before, the one who kept correcting you.

"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight yells. "How many times do I have to tell you to use the bucking door?"

Rainbow grins and flips herself back onto her hooves. "I just wanna know what that music was! That was rock like I've never heard of before! Who was that?"

You do a double take at the mention of your favourite genre. "Whoa. Twi here said you didn't have rock!"

The pegasus swipes a hoof across the floor, looking slightly sheepish. "Weeell... It's fairly new. I was gonna use some during the best flier contest, and that would've been the most publicity the genre's had... It's mostly played in Manehattan clubs... I've got some recordings at home if you wanna listen to them, though."

You get a feeling of excitement when she offers this to you. Immediately  you jump on the proposition. "I'd love to hear some Equestrian rock, sure!"

Rainbow smiles at this. "Okay, stay here! I'll be  back, in ten seconds!" She zooms out the window, leaving behind a rainbow afterimage.

"She's kidding, right?"

Twilight is about to answer your question when a huge crash echoed throughout the library, followed by a tomboyish scream of pain