Chapter 8

It’s a Trap! (Go Ahead; Sue Me)

Most.

Awkward.

Morning.

Ever.

Elaboration? Applejack and I got blackout drunk last night and we just realized that we kissed. So now we’re experiencing that feeling college kids get when they realize that they kissed their best friend at the party last night. Same thing really, except that this isn’t going to end in us “experimenting” to see if the relationship will work, and eventually realizing that it won’t. After which we never want to speak to each other again.

This is one of the oh so many reasons why I avoid talking to people. Too complicated.

“BLEAH!” That one was her.

Oh yeah, we were still taking turns puking in the same toilet too.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

“Applejack? It’s Michael. We prepared your room for you finally. Greg, we have a raid scheduled in about an hour. I need you in the basement for debriefing then.”

“Got it.”

“Got it.”

“BLEAH!” That one was me.

“How much did you drink last night?”

“I don’t get hangovers, and I have a hangover,” I answered, “That’s how drunk we were last night.”

“Oh for the love of god,” I heard him mumble.

“Hey cowgirl?” I said hesitantly, and quietly to Michael wouldn’t hear us.

“Why’re ya whispering?” she whispered back.

“Listen…about last night—“

“Drunken rule.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I know,” I said dismissively, “Fact is…look, I want to stay friends, but that did happen. I can’t just bury that in the back of my mind.”

“Why not, and so what?”

“Look, I know I probably did it because you had a small blush, and to be honest it was kinda cute.”

She gave a small blush.

“Yeah, like that.”

“Well…Ah think it was because…Ah don’t know…Ah guess Ah was feeling adventurous.”

“So…because I’m a cambion?”

“Yeah,” she admitted somewhat remorsefully.

“I’m strangely okay with that,” I told her with a small smile. “So…we’re cool?”

“Yeah, we’re cool.”

Well I felt better at least, and by the sound of her voice she did too.

***

Well she left with Michael—after we were finished puking—and said she was gonna get started on training when she was done getting situated.

Personally, despite the fact that it was the middle of the day, I took off from my room balcony and started flying towards a storage garage. The thing is that after I moved in and got everything unpacked, I realized just how often the bigger cambions liked to throw motorized vehicles. For my car’s safety I put it in a storage garage.

I had the key on me of course, and it was on the same ring that started the car too. When I threw the door open I took a good look inside. It had been a long time since I’d been in there. A couple years actually. I only saw the tarp covering the car of course, so I threw it off and took a good look at it. The old Trans Am.

Pristine condition. Still. The thing was pitch black, because that’s sorta my color. Cliché yeah, but also harder to spot at night.

I started it up and was pleased to hear the motor start up again after so long. I rolled on out of the lot and off to my house.

My drive was uneventful for a city like this, but when I rolled up to the house I saw cops all along the street. Obviously what happened was very loud, and the police were called.

“Excuse me sir.”

I kept walking.

He grabbed my shoulder.

“I said excuse me!”

I punched him in the jaw. “Piss off!”

He staggered and pulled a gun on me.

“Go ahead, make my day,” I dared, “All it’s gonna do is give me a reason to kick your ass, so bring it mother fucker.” He pulled the pin back as a threat. “Oh, come on,” I complained. “You pulled the pin back too soon!” I scolded.

“I…what?” He gave me a confused look.

“You pulled the pin back way too soon,” I explained, “You want to interrogate someone on the spot, get ‘em a little scared, pistol whip ‘em a couple times, then you pull the pin back to send them over the edge. You can’t just threaten to shoot someone and expect it to work on everyone.”

He figured out the gun wasn’t gonna do anything and holstered it.

“Yeah ya don’t have the balls to shoot me anyways,” I mocked.

“I just have a couple questions, and I’m just doing my job.”

I decided I didn’t have time for that crap and just cut to the chase. “Yes, this is my home. Yes, I was here last night. Yes, I heard the commotion. Yes, I was a part of it. No, I’m not sure what it was about. A man was waiting for me when I got home and he tried to kill me. No, he is not dead. A friend or something of his got him away in a car after I whooped his ass. After which I went after him, but I lost him. I was out all night looking for him and I just got back. Any more question?”

He looked at me in surprise and I could tell he was actually impressed. “Nope. That covers it. I’d like you to come and describe the man you saw.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I don’t deal with cops outside of telling them to piss off. Not to mention you’re fucking useless because you’re too restrained by your own system. You mind, or did you want to keep all your teeth?”

He looked ready to start yelling at me, but he thought better of it. I’ve seen cops get fired because I pissed them off and they did something they really shouldn’t have done. “Do whatever you want. I did my job.”

I shook my head in annoyance and walked into my house through the garage door. I headed into my room and grabbed a few more duffel bags. I had a lot of stuff that I used for…I’ll just say preparation and leave it at that. Demon hunting isn’t all hack and slash. I have a system.

My system required supplies though. Designs, notes, materials, tools, artifacts, and old texts that I copied a while back. Not to mention I had a few more guns that I didn’t have reason to use very often. It’s not easy being this badass you know.

I had about four extra bags by the time I was done. Also I remembered to pick up my magnum and combat knife before I left this time. I threw everything in the backseat of my Trans Am and pulled out of the driveway, heading off back towards the bureau.

***

“Hello Greg,” Michael said as I entered the room, “Glad you decided to join us.”

“Oh yeah, double meaning. Aren’t you just the smartest little apple?” I smirked mockingly.

“I don’t suppose if I ask nicely you’ll at least act like you want to be here?”

“Nope.”

“Fine,” he grunted.

He turned to a table that had a map of the city on it. “Here’s the situation,” he said as he pointed to a warehouse on the map, “We have pin-pointed a soul trade off location. Greg that’s—“

“When a cambion wants out of their deal and gets out by trading two souls for their own. I’ve been doing this longer than you have ya dolt. I ain’t stupid.”

“Quite.”

“Quite?” I parroted with a lot of snark, “What are you, british?”

"That...doens't make any sense."

"Not everything I say makes sense damn it."

“Moving on,” he said quickly in annoyance. I rolled my eyes. “The transaction is taking place at nine o’clock. Our objective is to stop the deal, kill the crossroad cambion, and capture the contract cambion alive. I’d personally prefer to keep the civilians alive if possible. Is that clear?”

“Yes sir!” said the five other members around the table.

“Whatever you say dumbass.”

“Disregarding the insult,” he mumbled, “I want you two to guard the back. Grab the humans when they likely try to escape the battle. I want you two to cover us from the skylights. You, Greg, and I will come sneak in the front.”

“You don’t sneak in the front you sneak in the back!” I snapped at him, “Then ya keep going! Eventually she’ll learn to like it!” It took a moment for everyone to get that, when they did I burst out laughing looking at their faces.

“Oh, working with you is going to be a dream come true, I can already tell.”

“You wanted me here,” I reminded him, “Deal with it.”

***

We walked into the warehouse before the deal was supposed to go down. We’d left the cars about six city blocks back to avoid suspicion, while I had taken a ride with Michael instead (I didn’t want my car totaled by an ass of a cambion okay?). The two circled around back, and the other two used those grappling hooks to climb up onto the roof.

Oh so that’s why they have those.

“Too bad you can’t fly,” I said half seriously.

“Well not all of us were lucky enough to get demonized with no strings attached,” Michael said with disdain.

I looked at him curiously as a thought crossed my mind. “What if you had that chance?” I asked, completely serious this time,

“What if that opportunity presented itself to a man of god like you? Would you do it?”

I couldn’t see his face under his mask, but he glanced at me for just a moment. “I don’t ask myself questions like that. It’s sacrilegious.”

“Well I’m asking you now.” I looked at him sternly. “You wanted me here, so now you get to deal with me.”

“That doesn’t mean I have to answer your questions,” he snapped, “You’re only an initiate. I’m a priest, so I am your superior.”

“So what are you going to do if I misbehave?” I challenged.

He didn’t answer.

“That’s what I thought, and I’m not letting that little question go. You harassed me since I moved to this damn city. As far as I’m concerned, I owe you. A lot.”

The warehouse was full of different sorts of crates. Most of it was produce for a nearby grocery store. Some of it was spare machinery, like forklifts (ironically enough) and cash registers.

Michael got into position with the other guy that was with us, while I snuck off. I heard him say “god damn it” when he realized I was gone. I didn’t want to be in the bureau to begin with, so I was gonna do one of the things I did best: give ‘em hell.

I had my own way of busting these little deals up. First I sneak off into the office, then I turn on the computer, then I prepare the intercom for my little surprise.

This is gonna be fun.

***

Well they were late. Can’t say I was surprised. After about a minute, when they started the transaction, which I’ve never actually seen done, I hit play.

“ALL ABORD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The laughed echoed as I laughed.

Man I love this song!

The guitar started playing as I came out of the office and into their fields of view. “Hey there dumb fucks!” I yelled cockily, “Let the humans go and I’ll kill you quickly.”

The humans started running when they realized what was about to happen, and as expected they ran out the back. The two cambions didn’t waste any time getting to change into their true forms, but I quickly realized something.

“This is a set up for the bureau isn’t it?” I asked knowingly, “I know how this goes. A crossroad cambion, a contract cambion, a deal cambion, and two humans. That’s how it works, but there’s only the two of you…you’re hunters aren’t you?”

“Greg Master…and they said you were all brawn and no brain. I’ll give you this, you actually have common sense.”

The music picked up and they transformed. The one turned into a seven-foot tall rat beast without a tail. It looked more man than rat, but it had sharper claws, and teeth more like a bear. The other one turned into some sort of eagle looking thing. His mouth extended into a beak, grew white feathers on his head, brown feathers on his body, and his forearms and legs mimicked the talons of a bird of prey. Of course he also grew large brown, white tipped feathered wings out of his back.

I ran at them without a second thought while the bullets started flying. The eagle one jumped and flew for the wall. I figured the bureau could distract him, so I decided I’d deal with him second.

I swung at the rat, but unfortunately for me he sidestepped and punched me in the chest. I felt a rib break as I flew into a crate. I started pulling down the zipper for my jacket so I could change myself, but by the time it was down the rat was already on my ass like stink on shit. He pounded me in the face hard enough for my head to break through the box. Just short of broke my nose on that one.

I managed to head-butt him in the nose once. That disoriented him just long enough for me to duck down and slide between his legs as I threw my jacket off. I took on my true form and jabbed a clawed hand into his lower back. I grabbed hold of something and ripped it out. I think it was his kidney, but I’m not sure…I kill things; I’m not a doctor.

He did blurt something in pain, but it wasn’t really a roar, in fact I laughed because it sounded more like a loud squeak. It was hilarious, but that worked in his advantage because it distracted me long enough for him to bash me in the side of the head.

I basically cartwheeled to my feet as he followed up, charging at me; trying to bring his fist down on my head. I managed to catch his fist in one hand and slash at his belly with the other. While he squeaked (still funny) in pain I ducked and spun to slash his chest with my wings, completing the spin with a rising slash of my claws up from his belly to his chest.

“I’ve been doing this too long to be killed by someone as pathetic as you!” I roared in a fury.

I punched him in the chest and grabbed his arm with both hands, whipping him in circle like super Mario and throwing him hard into a metal scaffold. First level of the scaffold: empty, everything above: fell down on top of him.

He was momentarily crushed under all the weight, but he ripped through it with ease. He ran over all of it and tried to maul me, but I dodged his strike and socked him in the side of the head. He staggered and I grabbed his leg, whipping him around again. This time I jumped up using my wings, slammed his head in the ground with a mid-air spin and threw him as hard as I could. He was fucking heavy ya know!

I landed and he struggled to stand. I rushed him with my claws ablaze and plunged my hand into his chest. The first blow to his chest was just to weaken the ribs surrounding his heart, so I could rip through them and tear his heart out. I may be a high school drop out, but I know how to kill a cambion right the first time.

I looked off and saw the eagle about to tear apart one of the bureau guys in mid-flight. I dulled my claws fire and pulled out my magnum. I shot once on both wings and he dropped like a stone. Might not have broken the skin, but it did clip his wings.

I took to the air myself and dove on him. I hit him in a tackle and we tore away at each other in a mess of blue fire and feathers. I managed to break a couple ribs and burn a few claw marks into his shoulders, but he also managed a gash across my chest and few talon marks on my right side of my face.

I landed on my back and launched him off me with my legs. He still managed to use his wings to correct himself in mid-air while I spun to my feet. We both charged and didn’t manage to land a single swipe at one another for a few seconds. I just grabbed the top of his head finally and slammed his face into my knee. Cracked his beak on that one.

His head flew back in pain. I rushed him and blasted into his chest with my shoulder. He flew back a few feet and staggered. I rushed him again and ducked under his retaliation swipe. I grabbed his leg and whipped him around so his face slammed into the side of a nearby crate. He slumped down and barely managed to pick his head up.

I grabbed the back of his head and bashed it into the box he was slumped over three times before he got his bearings back and tried to back-claw me. The edges of his talons grazed my nose, but it didn’t hurt that much. I dodged a few more swiped from him, but he surprised me with a straight punch to my face. He jumped up to try and—I think—roundhouse kick me in the face with his leg talons, but I quickly grabbed my magnum, emptied the chambers while it left the holster—trick is to jerk it up just enough so the shells fly out of it without slowing my draw speed much, flicked it back into place as I aimed it, filled it with fire and tried to shoot him.

Too bad for me he was actually taking to the air again. Apparently his wings had already fixed themselves. I tried shooting at him three times while he flew along the warehouse wall, but I couldn’t get a hit. He was flying too fast for me to get a fix on him. The guys from the bureau didn’t have any better luck shooting him than I did, but not for lack of trying…or bullets for that matter.

I holstered my magnum since I’d figured out he was way to fast to use it on him. At the same time I took to the air myself and flew after him. I lashed out at the eagle but he flew under my swipe. We flew around each other madly trying to land a claw or talon on the other without getting hit ourselves. Finally I let him get another swipe at my right shoulder, but only so I could grab onto his shoulders. I latched onto him and overpowered his own wings.

I flew through the air and grinded his back against a few crates as we flew forward. I brought us back up and bashed him in the face a few times with head-butts, while at the same time he ripped at my back with his talons. Finally he got the idea to tear one of my wings, basically clipping them like I did to him. As we were about to land I brought my legs up to shove him off and into the ground forcefully. While I did he latched onto my legs and left a shallow gash on both my legs. Granted my armored skin provided a small amount of protection, but not much.

I did launch off him and into the air slightly, but I was in horrible pain and dropped to one of my knees when I landed. I wasn’t able to stand with part of my leg muscles torn apart. I could have managed it for a few minutes, but that would have torn them further.

”You know Greg,” the eagle said as he got up to his lower talons, “I never thought I’d see the day that you of all people joined the bureau. We were planning on just tricking and killing a few of them, but the Holder’s own self declared future murderer? That’s just too perfect.” He walked towards me with his talons raised for the kill. “Any last words?”

“Just two,” I said as I subtly pulled the uzi submachine gun off the back of my belt. “Actually, make that four.” I pointed it at him at his eyes widened in shock. “Eat lead mother fucker.”

I unloaded the clip into his chest before he could react, and he couldn’t take to the air again while being bombarded like that. Simple bullets can’t break the skin on most true form cambions, but like I said: you’re gonna feel that next month. I probably broke most of his ribs on that strike, and he was feeling it too.

“You…you sneaky fucker,” he groaned.

“Any last words?” I asked mockingly, and cockily given my handicap.

He gathered his strength for a moment and screeched like a bird of prey as he tried to finish me off again.

I dropped the uzi and grabbed my magnum again. I saw his eyes widen as he realized he was finished. I finished it by putting a blast into his weakened chest: straight through his heart.

“Guess not.”

He hit the ground like the sack of shit he was. I looked at the dead hunter while the music reached the last minute of the song.

“Heirs of the cold war,” Ozzy sang, “That’s what we’ve become.”

I looked up to see the members of the bureau I came with, all six of them, coming to try and help me. Two of them were quick to help me to my feet, then the one went to check the hunter; making sure he was dead.

One of the bureau members looked at me and said, “You look like shit.” I could tell from the voice that it was Michael.

I shoved the guy helping me stand away, tore Michael’s mask off and grabbed him by the color of his uniform. I jerked him towards me and glared daggers into his eyes. “Let’s see you try to kill two hunter class cambions with almost no help and then tell me what you look like afterwards! Oh wait, that’s right! You won’t have to tell me, because I’ll be able to see what you look like when I spit on the corpse those hunters leave behind!”

I bashed him in the head with a head-butt and fell back to my knees while he fell flat on his ass in both pain and shock.

“Even half dead you’re an asshole!” he snapped at me.

“I may be an asshole, but unlike you I’m not useless, and I actually know how to use my power to kill the cambion right in front of me!”

“The combat spells I know are all close range,” he explained begrudgingly, “Whenever I tried to get close he either kept me at bay with his talons or flew out of my reach.”

“Oooooh! They’re all close-range spells,” I said in mock understanding and mock realization, “Ya think I don’t have that problem?!”

“You have your guns!” he countered.

“That’s my point! If what I have doesn’t cut it: I ADAPT!”

He looked at me in surprise while the song finally ended.

“Ya just don’t get. You’re only a kid. Even bruised, bloodied, half dead, and without the use of my legs I could kick your ass out of this building if you forced me to. Y’know why? Because I refuse to die! I won’t let anything get the better of me! I will always find a way to win the fight! Either with what I have or with something I don’t that I’m gonna get!” I glared at him like a disappointed father figure. “You’re weak. You may be a warrior priest, but you’re no demon hunter.”

“I was raised into this!” he yelled with a crack in his voice.

I just kept the disappointed look. “I was born into this.”

He took a step back. I could tell by the look on his face that he was beginning to understand me, and that my words finally got through that thick skull of his.

I looked at one of the other bureau guys. “Ya wanna help me to the cars?”

“You need medical attention,” he insisted.

I waved him off. “I’m a cambion too. I heal a lot faster than humans. I’ll be done bleeding in a few minutes, but I won’t be battle ready for about a day.”

“Alright then,” he said as he and another guy helped me limp towards the exit.

“Y’know what Michael?” I said as I limped away, not even bothering to look back at him, “I may be a cambion, and I don’t like asking for help in a fight, but at least I can admit I need some improvement. When I do, I have enough strength to look past my shame to ask someone for whatever it is I need to improve. I don’t care if it’s a weapon or fighting lessons, I can throw away my pride long enough to ask for help.”

Author's Note

Something worth mentioning: the fight scene in this chapter is actually syncronized to Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne, hence why I thrice state what part of the song it's at. In other words the plug had a purpose, so no it was not just a shameless insert of one of my favorite songs since childhood.

PS I was able to publish this chapter since I was using a friends laptop. It might be a while before I get to any significant progress.