Hunting Grounds

"So, would you like to see Twilight first or go shopping first?" Fluttershy asked me.

"Well, I never really like shopping where I'm from, and it's always nice to meet new people." I replied, still driving on the seemingly endless expanse of dirt road.

"Okay then. Oh, take a right over here." Fluttershy said, directing her hoof to the right. I pulled over to the right and broke out of the trees surrounding the path, ahead was a moderately sized town bustling with ponies. I slowed down to a moderate 15 miles per hour. As soon as I got within 30 yards of the town, all attention was directed towards me. Then all of a sudden the place was deserted as the ponies leaped behind carts and ran into households.

"So where is Twilight's house?" I whispered while leaning towards Fluttershy.

"Just take a right then a left and another right." Responded Fluttershy. Following her directions, I navigated around the town before pulling up to a huge tree house. "This is it." Said Fluttershy while getting out of the Mule.

"Wow, I've seen tree houses, but none to this extent." I said, I was impressed to say the least. I hopped out of the Mule and walked behind Fluttershy up to the door of the house. When she knocked on the door it was almost instantly answered by a purple unicorn about the same size as Fluttershy.

"Ah, Fluttershy, what a nice surprise. Please come in." Said the purple unicorn. "Oh... who's your friend." she said while looking me up and down and then giving a big grin.

"Uhm, his name is John, and Twilight... it's not like that..." Fluttershy said while her face turned scarlet red.

"Wait, wait, wait. You don't think me and Fluttershy, are, like, dating? Right? Because it is NOT like that." I said with a stern look.

"Suuuuuuuure." Twilight said, with her shit-eating-grin still plastered across her face. "Anyway, please come in." She said while ushering us inside her abode. "So what brings you here?"

"Well, I needed to go shopping here anyway and John showed up at my house last night and he was lost and needed a place to stay. So I figured when I went shopping I could bring him with me and you could figure out what happened to him." Explained Fluttershy.

"Okay, so John, tell me what happened from the beginning." Twilight said, grabbing a piece of paper and a quill.

"So, I was hunting an-" I was cut off by both ponies gasping in shock.

"You never told me you were a carnivore!" Exclaimed Fluttershy

"You never asked, besides, that's only half true. I'm an omnivore." I explained to her. "Anyway I wa-"

"So what were hunting with? A bow, magic?" asked Twilight, cutting me off again.

"I'll show you after, let me finish god damnit." I said, getting past a little frustrated. "I was hunting with my Grandfather and I saw a buck, don't freak out, humans eat meat, so get over it. So I shot at the buck and everything went black and I passed out or something. I woke up around midnight and my Grandfather was gone, just gone. After packing everything up and setting it my Kawasaki, I drove down the mountain and out of a forest towards Fluttershy's house. So, now I'm here."

"Mmm, okay. So the deal is, I have no idea what happened to you but I'm interested in what you hunted with and what a Kawasaki is." Twilight said, her eyes glassed over in thought, "But I think Princess Celestia and Princess Luna may be able to help you with your problems."

"Wait, Princess's? Your country is run by a monarchy?" I asked, I felt my inner Libertarian shriveling up into a little dehydrated piece of paper labeled 'Bill of Rights' next to a smaller piece of paper labeled 'Constitution of me, and the Constitution of the U.S.A.

"Yes, Princesses. Why?" Twilight asked, her suspicion growing.

"Because back from where I'm from, Monarchs were notorious for being corrupt and evil. So now most countries are a Democracy or a Communist Government." I explained.

"OH MY CELESTIA!" I heard a scream behind me before being tackled and seeing nothing but a blur of rainbow. "BURGLE AVERTED."

"Get the hell off me!" I grudged, before lifting the object off me and over my head and then setting down on the floor. It was another pony. It was another Pegasus like Fluttershy, except her fur was cyan colored and she had a rainbow mane.

"Ugh, Rainbow Dash. This is my friend and Fluttershy's, *ahem* Coltfriend..." Twilight said, another shit-eating-grin growing on her face.

"For fuck's sake, I'm not her Coltfriend!" I raged. "Wait, hold on... what's that on your face... hold still." I said before moving my hand towards the left side of Twilight's face. "Hold still, I almost got it." Both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were standing perfectly still and staring at my hand. I got a few inches closer to Twilight's face before pulling back and slapping her full force. "There got it."

"OW, what the buck was that for?" I Twilight screamed, tears welling in her eyes.

"That's for calling me Fluttershy's Coltfriend," I said, pointing my finger at Twilight, "It's not funny. I'm not trying to insult Fluttershy by saying that, I mean, I'm sure she beautiful by your pony standards, but I'm not romantically interested in her in anyway, okay? I'm sorry I had to do that."

"Okay, I'm sorry." sniffled Twilight, trying to suck up most of the pain.

"I would be happy to show all three of you what a Kawasaki Mule is and what I hunted with if you would just shut your damn mouth for more than two fucking seconds." I said, I then took in a deep breath and opened the front door and saying over my shoulder, "Follow me." I led the group of ponies out of the house down to where the Mule was waiting. "This is a Kawasaki 3010 Mule, with four gears, differential drive, and a 2x2 or 4x4 mode. It has a 200 horsepower engine and a 20 gallon fuel tank. It is capable of up to 50 Miles per Hour." I explained to them.

"Can you demonstrate it?" Asked Rainbow Dash, clearly not impressed by my statistics, "Wait, I'm worried what you heard was 'egghead it up with more stats', what I meant was, 'race me'."

"It's a deal, but we'll do it later. For now I want to just finish with my rifle." I replied to her, "Anyway," I said while unlocking the gun rack and lifting out my rifle. "This is my Savage Arms .30 Caliber Bolt Action rifle. It has a range of up to 6.21 miles and has a 12x adjustable scope." I explained while pulling back the bolt and pulling a round out of the chamber showing it the ponies, "It fires smokeless powder .30 Caliber bullets, it exerts enough force to bring down medium to large animals."

"Can you demonstrate that?" Asked Rainbow again.

"Happily, I am positive my rifle abilities will be enough to please. Twilight if you could put some pumpkins, oh, about 200 yards out that would be great." I told Twilight.

"Certainly." Replied Twilight, her horn glowed and then four pumpkins showed up 200 yards away. "There you go." I lay down on the ground to steady the gun and dialed in the sights, with that done I loaded back in the bullet I had taken out to show. I turned off the safety and lined up the scope with the pumpkins and pulled hard on the trigger. *BANG* The ponies jumped back in shock at the incredibly loud noise and the fact the pumpkin down range had exploded into bits. *BANG* The second pumpkin exploded in a slew of juicy bits, this time the noise did not elicit as dramatic as a reaction from the ponies. *BANG* The third pumpkin blew up into a mist of gourd juice, The ponies once again did not react as dramatically as before. *BANG* The fourth and final pumpkin bit the dust as it too exploded into nothingness, this time they barely moved, they only winced at the noise of the gun.

"So, what'd you think?" I asked the astonished group, while picking myself up off the ground and pulling back the bolt to expel the last empty cartridge.

"That, was, AWESOME!" Screamed Rainbow Dash, grinning from side to side while jumping up and down in excitement. I grinned at her enthusiasm.