The Adventures of Dr. Twilight

by SuperPinkBrony12

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Crossover, Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 7689

A ponyfied Dr. Weird with Twilight and Pinkie Pie. What has science done?!

Science is truly a mysterious thing. In the right hands it can produce miracles, and in the wrong hands it can produce unspeakable horrors. Naturally there is much about science that we don't know, and thus scientists have dedicated their lives to trying to unlock science's many mysteries.

Dr. Twilight Sparkle happens to be a scientist but unlike most scientists her experiments are anything but ordinary. Alongside her lab assistant Pinkie Pie Twilight's attempts at unlocking the many mysterys of science lead to many unforgetable adventures.

So sit back, relax, and prepare to laugh yourself into a coma as you watch Twilight get herself and Pinkie Pie into one hilarious hijinx after another.

Rated Teen for language and dark themes.

Set in an alternative universe because Twilight is obviously much more obsessed with science.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-20 17:14:31 UTC

"Moth Monste-Oh No!"

              "Muwahahaha! Mares. Behold!" Twilight said pointing to the door which began to rise. There stood a gaint pony/moth hybrid.

              "Moth Monste-Oh No!" Twilight said as it flew off "Moth Monster Mare No! Come Back!" But she was too late it, flew away, escaping through the hole left by the rabbot.

              "She has escaped!" Pinkie Pie said.

              "Yes through the hole! Which you were suppose to fix!" Twilight said. Then suddenly she slipped and fell "My banana!" she shouted.

              Meanwhile the pony/moth hybrid dubbed "Moth Monster Mare" flew over Ponyville. "Oh my Celestia!" she said as she flew towards a house with bright lights coming from it "Sweet delicious light!"

              "What do you mean I was suppose to fix it?" Pinkie Pie asked "It was your invention that caused it."

"DAMN IT!"

              "Mares." Twilight said pointing towards the door. Already Pinkie Pie was being lifted into the air by what was on the other side. "Feast your eyes!" Twilight said. The door rose with it's usual beep beep to reveal a gaint green vortex.

              "What the hell?! Twilight what have you done?!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she was sucked in, screaming at the top of her lungs.

              Twilight began to panic. She tried to escape but it was no use, the pull of the vortex was too strong. "No! Don't feast, run!" Twilight said "DAMN IT!" and with that she was gone.

"Look and Behold."

             "Mares." Twilight said "Look and behold." She dropped her purple and yellow vest exposing her entire body. "Muwahahaha!" she chuckled, obviously she was pleased with herself.

              Pinkie Pie was completly shocked. She said nothing at all but in her mind she was thinking "Damn! That's really impressive yet kind of gross."

"MY MIND!"

            To save you all the trouble I shall simply just to remind you say this from now on.

            Twilight Sparkle's house, basement lab

            South Ponyville

            "Mares." Twilight Sparkle said.

            "Uh you know you can call me Pinkie Pie or even just Pinkie." Pinkie Pie said "I mean there's no one else here."

            Twilight looked and saw some gaint slimey monster standing right next to Pinkie Pie and she wasn't even aware of it.

            "Right?" Pinkie Pie asked.

            "MY MIND!" Twilight shouted.

            "What?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"I've been betrayed!"

                   Twilight's house, basement lab

                   South Ponyville

                   "Mares. Behold!" Twilight Sparkle "My handsome new coltfriend!" The door rose with its usual beep beep. This time it revealed a gaint spider. It was wearing a nanny hat and had a diaper attached to its bottom for unknown reasons. It didn't look too happy.

                   "Uh, Twilight, I think that's a gaint spider." Pinkie Pie said.

                   Without warning the spider grabbed Twilight by one of it's eight legs. What Pinkie Pie had said only seconds before now sunk in "You're right. I've been betrayed! Run!" Twilight Sparkle said. Her voice was muffled as the door closed behind her, the spider treating her as if though she were a toy.

                    "I think they're getting along quite well." Pinkie Pie said smiling. "I remember my first date. What a nightmare."

"Phoenix!"

                 Twilight's house, basement lab

                 South Ponyville

                 "Mares. Behold!" Twilight Sparkle said "Jump off of my head with such velocity, and the blood will rocket through my veins, and propel my lifeless body all the way to Phoenix!" She was dangling upside down from a small crane with Rent-a-hoist printed on it.

                 "Wow." Pinkie Pie said, somewhat impressed "Eh heh what's in Phoneix anyway?"

                 "Why it's your papa Pinkie!" Twilight said "Get the axe!"

                 Pinkie Pie did so. "Um can I ask you why you want to see my father?" she asked.

                 "I have to see this rock farm you told me about!" Twilight said "There's nothing in my books about it."

                 "Couldn't you just go visit him yourself?" Pinkie Pie asked "Or even call him on this new device called the telephone?"

                 "Oh I hadn't thought of that!" Twilight said "What would I do without you Pinkie Pie?"

                 "I really don't know Twilight." Pinkie Pie said. She used the axe to chop off the rope holding Twilight. She fell to the floor.

                 "Thanks for your help Pinkie Pie." Twilight said, standing on all four hooves again  "I owe you one."

"Corn!"

                Twilight's house, basement lab

                South Ponyville

                "Mares. Behold!" Twilight said. The door rose with its usual beep beep. This time there was a basket of corn on the cob sitting on a table. "Corn!" Twilight said.

                Pinkie Pie didn't see anything wrong with it. "Oh o.k. You know Twilight this is pretty nice. Uh I am kind of hungry." she said as she made her way over to the table.

                "Good." Twilight said, an evil grin breaking out across her face. "Then let the mating begin!"

                The corn suddenly started laughing. Then it shot out at Pinkie Pie and pinned her to the nearby wall.

                "Hahaha!" Twilight laughed "There's no escape for you now Pinkie Pie!"

                "Ah man I can't believe this!" Pinkie Pie said "Betrayed by corn!"

                "Well it's about to get worse." Twilight said. Her smile was starting to become more of a slasher smile.

                "What did I do to deserve this?" Pinkie Pie thought to herself.

"More corn!"

                Twilight's house, basement lab

                South Ponyville

                "Mares. Behold!" Twilight said, pointing to the door. I think you know how it goes by now.

                Another table with a basket of corn on the cob appeared. "I bring you! More corn!" Twilight said.

                Pinkie Pie was a little bit skeptical. "Uh I don't know Twilight." She said nervously "I mean after last time."

                "This time, shall be different!" Twilight said, a creepy smile forming on her face.

                "You sure?" Pinkie Pie asked as she made her way over to the table "Cause I am kind of hungry again."

                The corn lashed out at her and pinned her to the wall again.

                "It's not different at all is it Pinkie?" Twilight asked "Ahhahahaha! I knew you'd fall for the same thing twice! You're so guilable!"

                 "Aw man, not again!" Pinkie Pie said.

"Mine for brains!"

             Twilight's house, basement lab

             South Ponyville

             "Yes! Yes Tom! Mine for brains! Muwahahaha!" Twilight said to someone on the phone. Pinkie Pie who had overheard was worried.

             "This can't be good." she thought to herself. "Hey uh who was that on the phone?" she asked.

             "Oh uh no one." Twilight said "Hey! Let's highlight your mane!"

             "But, but I like my mane this color!" Pinkie Pie said, she was confused "I mean I wouldn't be Pinkie Pie without it right?"

             Twilight didn't answer. She merly injected a neddle of some unknown substance into Pinkie Pie that knocked her out cold "IT begins! Muwahahaha!" Twilight said.

             A few hours later Pinkie Pie woke up to find herself strapped a gaint operating table of some kind. "Say, uh Twilight, how do my highlights look?" she asked. There was no response. "Uh Twilight?" she said, she was starting to grow worried. Then she saw something clenched in her front left hoof. "Hey a note." she said.

             The note read

Go to doctor

Now!

             "Yeah. Uh why can't I read this?" Pinkie Pie asked herself. She was unaware that there was a gaint hole in her head and where her brain should be there was nothing.

             "I knew this was a bad idea." Twilight thought to herself.

"Happy Hearth's Warming to you."

                 Before any of you ask no it was not snowing. It was still raining.

                 Twilight's house, basement lab

                 South Ponyville

                 "Mares. Happy Hearth's Warming to you." Twilight Sparkle said.

                 "Ah thanks Twilight." Pinkie Pie said. A green present with red ribbion stood before her "Better late then never right?"

                 Twilight didn't answer. She just locked herself into a jail cell that she had somehow managed to bring in.

                 "Come on out of that cage and let me give you a hug." Pinkie Pie said. She went over to open her present only to have it suddenly pounce on her and start attacking her.

                 "Oh yeah, take it to the big daddy!" Twilight said shaking her left front hoof.

                 "This isn't funny Twilight." Pinkie Pie said "Someone's been a very bad filly."

                 "I don't care." Twilight said "This is the best gift I could've asked for."

                 "Why do I even bother?" Pinkie Pie said as she tried to escape from the present's wrath.

"Run fat filly! RUN!"

               Twilight's house, basement lab

               South Ponyville

               A gaint hand of sorts reached down from the sky and pulled the entire Golden Oaks Library up from its foundations. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Twilight and Pinkie Pie screamed when they looked up.

               "Run fat filly! RUN!" Twilight shouted as she and Pinkie Pie ran away.

               "I'm not fat!" Pinkie Pie said.

               "Just shut up and run!" Twilight said.

               "Wait for me!" Spike said. He too started runing.

               "Where are we runing to Twilight?" Pinkie Pie asked.

               "I don't know! Anywhere where will we'll be safe from whatever that thing is!" Twilight said.

               "Maybe Fluttershy won't mind if we borrow her cottage!" Pinkie Pie said.

               "We'll see!" Twilight said.

               "That's assuming we even get there!" Spike said "That thing is chasing after us!"

               They barely managed to reach Fluttershy's cottage where they instantly dove for cover.

               "Oh hello Twilight. And hello to you two Pinkie Pie and Spike." Fluttershy said "I wasn't expecting company."

               "Well you've got another guest!" Spike said "Look!"

               Fluttershy looked up and saw the gaint monster that had managed to rip up the Golden Oaks Library was approaching her cottage.

               "Do something!" Twilight said.

               Fluttershy flew up and faced the monster. She gave it "The Stare" "How dare you disturb my good friends Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and Spike!" Fluttershy said in a scolding tone of voice "They never did anything to you! Now kindly put the Golden Oaks Library back where it belongs and leave my friends alone! Do I make myself clear?!"

               The monster complied.

               "Always works." Fluttershy said "Nothing can withstand the power of 'The Stare'. Isn't that right Mr. Rabbot?"

               The Rabbot made a noise to indicate it was happy.

               "Hey I don't believe it, you fixed my creation!" Twilight said "I never knew you were so good with machines Fluttershy."

               "Well what can I say, I'm a mare of surprises." Fluttershy said "Oh and by the way I have something else I think you might want." Fluttershy went over to her closet and began diging around in it. At last she pulled something out and said "Behold!" It was the Rainbow Maker 409.

               "Fluttershy did you steal that thing?!" Twilight asked.

               "Oh no, I could never do that." Fluttershy said "Rainbow Dash told me she 'borrowed' this from you a while back to see what it did. She gave it to me a little while ago. I was going to give it back to you first thing in the morning."

               "How can we ever thank you?" Pinkie Pie asked.

               "Oh you don't have to thank me." Fluttershy said "I'm always happy to help a friend in need."

               "Hey, I have an idea!" Twilight said "Why don't you come to work with me, Pinkie Pie, and Spike at the Golden Oaks Library's secret basement. We're conducting science experiments and I think after tonight we could certainly find a suitable job for you."

               "Well that sounds like a good idea." Fluttershy said "And I'm sure Rarity or Applejack could look after my animals while I'm away."

               "Then it's settled." Twilight said "As of tonight you Fluttershy are offically the newest member of the Dr. Twilight Sparkle Research Team or D.T.S.R.T for short."

               "Ooh this calls for a party!" Pinkie Pie said as she, Twilight, Spike, and Fluttershy made their way back to the Golden Oaks library.

               "Let's hope I can convince her to make it a private one." Twilight thought to herself.

"Lyra!"

              Twilight's house, basement lab

              South Ponyville

              "Mares. Behold!" Twilight said. "I have genetically spliced, the demohelixs of a fried porkchop imported from the Griffon Kingdom, with that of my former roommate in Canterlot, Lyra!"

              There was a gaint porkchop/pony like hybrid that slowly crawled out.

               "Whoa!" Pinke Pie said.

               "Hell yes whoa!" Twilight said grabbing Lyra with her hoof "Come here Lyra, and pay, your half of the utilites! They've been due for a long time now! Muwahahaha!"

               Fluttershy meanwhile was busy getting use to her new surondings and ensuring that Rarity and Applejack could be trusted to take care of her animals for a while.

"Aw HELL no!"

                Twilight's house, basment lab

                South Ponyville

                "Pinkie?" Twilight asked.

                "Yeah?" Pinkie Pie replied.

                "Pick up that stick!" Twilight said "Slowly and carefully now! AGITATE THE HELL OUT OF THIS SNAKE!" She had a snake that Fluttershy had insisted be involved in the next experiment coiled around her head.

                "Aw HELL no!" Pinkie Pie said "I'll go get Spike to do it!"

                "Just make it quick!" Twilight said "I hate snakes!"

"Tada!"

              Twilight's house, basement lab

              South Ponyville

Ba dum tis!

              A set of drums were in front of Twilight and she couldn't resist playing them a little. Suddenly Pinkie Pie poked her head out from Twilight's chest area.

              "Tada!" she said.

              "Wait for the drum roll!" Twilight snapped "I thought we already discussed this!"

              "No you didn't!" Pinkie Pie said "You just teleported me into your chest and said to come out when you gave the signal!"

              "Ugh never mind!" Twilight said. She turned everything back to normal. "You ruined the moment!"

              "Ah geez I'm sorry." Pinkie Pie said "But maybe next time you could warn me before you decide to do something like that."

              "I'll think about it." Twilight said as she cleaned herself and Pinkie Pie up.

"My Metal Colt!"

                Twilight's house, basement lab

                South Ponyville

                "Mares. Behold!" Twilight said "I have made love to this machine. And now, upon retrospect I ask why."

                There was a lawnmower standing next to her. It was one of the many new fangeled contraptions ponies were inventing on what seemed to be a daily basis.

                "I'm sure someone really appreciates that." Pinkie Pie, she was a little bit creeped out by what she'd just heard. "So you do it for sciene or"

                "NO it was free!" Twilight said, cutting Pinkie Pie off "And she was drunk, she didn't know what she was doing!"

                The lawnmower suddenly started shaking and then out poped a metalic egg.

                "My Metal Colt!" Twilight said.

                "Um congratulations?" Pinkie Pie said uneasily "I guess now I have to throw you an 'I'm a mommy now party'?"

"You know so I'll fit in with the rest of the herd."

              Twilight's house, basement lab

              South Ponyville

              "Mares. Behold!" Twilight said "I have grafted a deer antler to my groin."

              "Wow." Pinkie Pie said

              "You know, so I'll fit in with the rest of the herd." Twilight said

              "Uh h-how do you go to the bathroom?" Pinkie Pie asked.

              As if to answer her question a stream of blue liquid shot out of Twilight's mouth, shattering her helment and sending Pinkie Pie flying.

              "If that's what comes out the front then I don't want to know what comes out the back." Pinkie Pie said "I really think you went too far this time Twilight."

              "Perhaps you're right." Twilight said "But for now I have to make a quick visit to the little filles room." and with that she teleported away.

              "Oh I hope she remembers to remove that deer antler. Otherwise poor Spike is likely going to be scarred for life." Pinkie Pie said, shuddering at the thought.

"I am Twilight Buttocks."

             Twilight's house, basement lab

             South Ponyville

             "Mares. Allow me to introduce myself." Twilight said in a muffled voice. Her face was not moving. It was frozen. "I am Twilight Buttocks." Her rear end was moving and a microphone had been placed close by it.

             Pinkie Pie was needless to say freaked out. She slowly backed away before she even entered the room.

             "Mares? Where are you?" Twilight said in a playful voice. "Come out, come out wherever you are."

             "How am I going to deal with that?" Pinkie Pie asked herself.

"I call it, Taco Island!"

            Twilight's house, basement lab

            South Ponyville

            Crunch

            Pinkie Pie was munching on a veggie taco. "Sheesh! You call This a vacation Twilight?" she asked Twilight.

            "No." Twilight said "I call it, Taco Island! Copyright 2013."

"Bull ****!"

"Bull ****!"

                Twilight's house, Basement lab

                South Ponyville

                Huh, oh hi Twilight. Wait, what is this, I don't even

                "Bull ****!"

                Wait, where are you going?! Hey wait, that's not the cue!

"Shut the f*ck up Pinkie!"

"Shut the f*ck up Pinkie!"

               Twilight's house, basement lab

               South Ponyville

               Pinkie Pie was groaning and screaming. Twilight didn't care, she was busy playing with her new "pets". "Oogie boogie." she said playfully "Who's a good little fella? Hey where's your brother?"

               Pinkie Pie's other eyeball emerged and began walking like a spider. She screamed even louder.

               "Oh here he comes!" Twilight said, picking up the eye ball spider. Then she shouted at Pinkie Pie "Shut the f*ck up Pinkie! You're scaring them!" she said angrily.

               "But I want my eyeballs back!" Pinkie Pie said.

               "You'll get them back when I feel like it!" Twilight said "Now stoping crying like a foal!"

"Fool that will never work!"

               Twilight's house, basement lab

               South Ponyville

               "Mares!" Twilight said "There's a chance this will work!" She was being pumped up by some sort of machine that was attached to her body.

               "A-Actually you said there's no chance this will work." Pinkie Pie said.

               Twilight looked to the side, she was hooked up a machine that was pumping her full of barbeque sauce. "Fool that will never work!" she shouted. Then suddenly there was a sound like air bursting from somewhere.

               "Oh great!" Twilight said "Now what?!"

               "I think the machine just broke." Pinkie Pie said.

"Put it back!"

                Twilight's house, basement lab

                South Ponyville

                Fluttershy was busy cleaning up the place. It was part of her job agreement. In addition to helping repair the machines and instruments she also had to clean the lab after Twilight and Pinkie Pie were done.

                As she was cleaning she saw something out of the corner of her eye. It was what looked like a golden necklace. It had a capital T on it. "I'm sure Twilight won't mind if I borrow it." Fluttershy said to herself "If she does mind I can give it to you her tomorrow. And this way it's not lying around where somepony could steal it." After quickly checking to make sure that no one was around to see her Fluttershy picked up the necklace.

               "Put it back!" Twilight said, firing off tacos from her front left hoof. Fluttershy exploded. Twilight then vanished.

               "Woo that was fun!" Pinkie Pie said emerging from behind an instrument panel "This new illusion machine really works. And Twilight said it was a waste of time. Well I certainly proved her wrong!"

"You try that new hoof lotion I gave you?"

               Twilight's house, basement lab

               South Ponyville

               "So uh mares." Twilight said "You try that new hoof lotion I gave you? You know the one with the gorilla on the bottle. The one with"

               "Does it LOOK like I've tried it?!" Pinkie Pie asked. her back hooves were now a gaint gorilla foot.

               "You did!" Twilight said. "How do you like it?"

               "Uh it needs some work." Pinkie Pie said "Now can I have my hooves back?"

               "I'll see what I can do." Twilight said "This wasn't suppose to happen."

               "Well duh." Pinkie Pie said.

"Give me some fries filly!"

              Twilight's house, basement lab

              South Ponyville

              "Hey I'm back from lunch er I mean dinner." Pinkie Pie said, she had gone out to a new fast food restaurant with Spike and Fluttershy to celebrate one month of Fluttershy working with them. She only now realized she'd forgotten about Twilight. She had a drink in her left front hoof and an entire meal in a bag in her right front hoof.

              "Where's mine?!" Twilight demanded.

              Pinkie Pie gulped, she had to think of a believeable excuse. "Uh huh uh, I thought you said you don't like to eat." she said "You said food makes you really" Twilight ripped out her brain. Pinkie Pie gulped "Crazy."

              "This makes me really crazy!" Twilight said. Her body fell to the floor.

              "Give me some fries filly!" her brain said. It began shooting beams at Pinkie Pie.

              "Whoa!" she said, runing away. "I promise I'll bring you back something next time Twilight! I promise!" she shouted "Now please reattach your brain to your head!"

"It hungers!"

              Twilight's house, basement lab

              South Ponyville

              Pinkie Pie was talking to someone on the phone. "Uh yeah six inch on wheat, no mayo." she said "Uh hang on. Twilight?"

              "My plot has finally decided to eat my hoof!" Twilight said. Her front right hoof was held behind her back.

              Crunch went her rear end. "It hungers! For more!" Twilight said. The rest of her body slowly began to disappear until only her as erm rectum was left.

              Pinkie Pie didn't seem to care. "Uh yeah just the one hoagie." Pinkie Pie said.

              "What has Twilight done now?" she thought to herself "I think I'll have to see if Rarity can reverse this cause I really don't know how I'll explain this to Celestia and Luna."

              Just then the door bell rang. "I got it!" Spike said. "Pinkie Pie your hoagie's here!"

              "Well Twilight can wait. I always think better on a full stomach anyway." Pinkie Pie thought as she raced up stairs.

"There can be only one!"

               Twilight's house, basement lab

               South Ponyville

               A decapitated body that was once Princess Clara lay on the floor. "Yeesh!" Pinkie Pie said. The head slicing was spewing blood everywhere. "I know you said this was only a double you whiped up but I mean what do we with this?" Pinkie Pie asked.

               "There can be only one!" Twilight said pulling on a Princess Clara mask.

               "Nice." said one of the directors of Drawn Together.

               "Fluttershy's going to have one hell of a mess to clean up." Pinkie Pie said.

               "That's her problem not mine!" Twilight said.

               "Why are you being so mean to her lately?" Pinkie Pie asked "Fluttershy never did anything to you!"

               "I'm not trying to be mean." Twilight said "But she knew what she was getting into when she signed on. She's free to leave at any time."

               "Well o.k. I guess." Pinkie Pie said "But if this keeps up I swear Princess Celestia will hear about this! I mean it!"

               "I understand." Twilight said "Now quiet on the set. I'm about to begin rehearsal. I'm sure to get the part now!"

"Stop telling me to do things!"

               Twilight's house, basement lab

               South Ponyville

               "And that's how the wid works." Twilight said.

               Pinkie Pie didn't answer. She was dressed as a clown and was frozen solid.

               "Well you know, I mean of course you know.' Twilgiht said.

               Princess Luna who had managed to convince her sister Princess Celestia to forgive Twilight on the condition that Twilight conduct whatever experiments they requested walked up to Twilight.

               Twilight turned to Luna and shouted "Stop telling me to do things!"

               "Well would you rather we shut you down?" Luna asked.

               "No." Twilight said.

               "Then kindly stop blaming me for your mistakes!" Luna shouted. "Now allow to me fix this." With a flash of her horn Pinkie Pie was freed.

               "Thanks for that thaw out Luna." she said "That's the last time I volunteer to be a test dummy."

               "I wouldn't mind serving as a test dummy." Luna said "After all I am a god of sorts. It'd take a lot to kill me."

               "Well o.k." Twilight said "But this stays our little secret. If Celestia finds out then she'll surely shut us down."

               "My lips are sealed." Luna said.

               "Good." Twilight said "Because there's still plently of science to do. Muwahahaha!"

               "I think Twilight's finally lost it." Spike said. He had been watching the entire time.

               "So do I." said Fluttershy.

               "Shall we run for our lives?" Pinkie Pie asked.

               "With pleasure." Spike and Fluttershy replied. And with that Spike, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie instantly ran screaming out of Twilight's basement lab.

               "Ah who needs them." Twilight said "I have one of the co-rulers of Equestria now! Ahhahaha!"

               Luna suddenly gulped. "What I have gotten myself into?!" she asked.

"What Has Science DONE?!"

                 The sky was dark. To be more precise it was as dark as it usually got for nighttime in Ponyville. Dark clouds loomed in the sky. The rain poured down hard and fast. Lightning flashed and thunder cracked. The wind blew fircely. Yet all of these noises were not enough to disturb the residents of a building on the south side of Ponyville. From the outside it appeared to be a literal tree house. If you were to ask anypony in town they would tell you that the building was the Ponyville Golden Oaks Library. From the looks of things no one seemed to be home and the lights were off. However unknown to most ponies the library housed a basement labratory. And it was in this basement lab that an unusual experiment was being carried out.

                 "Mares." a female voice called out "As you know, meats. Have threatend ponies for generations." The voice belonged to Dr. Twilight Sparkle, a purple unicorn mare with a lavender mane and tail with a violet skunk stripe running down the middle. She had a purple vest of some kind with yellow around the edges. She had a pair of yellow gloves on her front hooves and was wearing a gaint glass helmet around her head. She was also wearing yellow goggles.

                "I have legally obtained funds to help solve this, meaty nightmare." Twilight continued to no one in particular.

                "Hey uh." a voice called out. It belonged to Pinkie Pie a pink earth pony mare with a mane and tail like cotton candy. She wore a white lab coat with brown boots on her back hooves. She was also wearing yellow googles.

                "Behold!" Twilight said.

                "Twilight. I thought that grant was for something like to cure diseases or" Pinkie Pie said. Twilight cut her off.

                "The grant? What is that?" Twilight asked. Before Pinkie Pie could respond Twilight said "Shut up! Behold!" And she pointed towards a gaint rising door.

                Beep, beep went the door as it slowly rose up to reveal a gaint robot. It had two ears shaped like a bunny as well as two eyes, a nose, and a set of bunny teeth.

                "The rabbot!" Twilight said. The rabbot rotated it's head while making a mechanical noise.

                "Uh Twilight." Pinkie Pie said.

                "Now then, bring me my large french purfume, and spray him in the eyes because that's how it happened to me!" Twilight said, cutting off Pinkie Pie as she shook her left front hoof.

                A gaint robotic pole holding a big canister of perfume emerged from the ceiling. It pressed the tip of the canister and started spraying perfume into the rabbot's eyes. The rabbot started spining its head while making monkey noises, indicating it was in pain.

               Twilight either didn't know or didn't care. "Now you feel pretty don't you boy? Muwahahaha!" she said.

               Suddenly the rabbot leaped forward. Twilight was shocked. "The rabbot! My invention!"

               The rabbot began to hop away. It didn't even stop when it tore a gaint hole in a nearby wall. It then started hoping through Ponyville not caring what got in its way.

               Pinkie Pie emerged from hiding behind an instrument panel. She saw Twilight was simply looking at the gaint hole in her basment lab. "What have you done this time Twilight?" she asked.

               "What has science DONE?!" Twilight shouted at the top of her lungs.

               The rabbot kept on hoping and completly stomped a parked car flat.

"This thing."

                It was another dark and stormy night in Ponyville. Like with before the Ponyville Golden Oaks Library appeared to be completly deserted from the outside. However like with before in reality an experiment was being carried out in the basement labratory.

               "Mares!" Twilight said "I have created. This thing." The door rose with the familar beep beep. This time there was a small machine projecting a rainbow beam of light. It was labeled Rainbow Maker 409.

               Pinkie Pie was both amazed and a little confused. "So what is it?" she asked.

               "I don't know, stand over here!" Twilight said pointing towards a spot in the middle of the lab. Pinkie Pie obliged.

               "Uh you mean right her-" Pinkie Pie said. The rest of her sentence was cut off as the Rainbow Maker shot its rainbow beam at her and sent her flying. "Whoa hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Why Twilight?! Why?!" She shouted as she flew up and away.

               Twilight didn't care. "It works! Yes! I am one can short of a six pack! Muwahahahaha!" she said as she shook her left front hoof. Then suddenly the lights went out. Someone or something was trying to steal the Rainbow Maker 409.

               "The lights!" Twilight said "Who is that?! Who's here?!" Then just as suddenly as they had shut off the lights came back on. The Rainbow Maker was nowhere to be seen.

               "That thing I created, it's gone!" Twilight said "Who could've penetrated, my impenetrable basment, I mean fortress!" If she had bothered to look behind her she would've seen a rainbow beam of light through the gaint hole left by the rabbot which she had not bothered to fix.

               Then her mane caught on fire. "My mane heater!" she shouted as she ran off to put out the flames.

"Robot Afliction."

                 I don't think I need to describe the same thing time and time again. So for now unless I say otherwise just assume that it's always a dark and stormy night in Ponyville.

                 O.k. now where I was? Oh yes now I remember.

                "Mares. Behold." Twilight said pointing towards the door which rose with a beep beep. A series of seven gaint speakers were standing there, six of them stacked on top of one another.

                Twilight held an electric guitar in her front hooves. "Are you ready to rock?!" Twilight asked. The speakers gave a horse like cry before humming loudly.

                "Uh uh I-I'm ready to rock." Pinkie Pie said nervously. After having already seen first hoof just how dangerous Twilight's experiments could be she was always skeptical.

                "Then I'm going to blow your mane to the back of this auditorium!" Twilight said. She began to strum on her guitar. "1, 2, 3, 4!" she said. The music echoed everywhere. "This one's called Robot Afliction!" Twilight said.

                Unknown to either her or Pinkie Pie a purple ufo that looked like something out of a video game desecended from the sky. It hovered over the Golden Oaks Library for a moment and then went away.

                "Yeah!" Twilight said "I am the queen of rock and roll!"

                "My ears!" Pinkie Pie complained. To no avail.

"Why not?!"

                Twilight Sparkle's house, basement lab

                South Ponyville

                "Mares. Behold." Twilight said, her voice was muffled.

                "Um what?" Pinkie Pie asked.

                "Uh hang on." Twilight said. The door rose with it's usual beep beep. And there stood Twilight. "And now, behold!" Twilight Sparkle said.

                Pinkie Pie was confused. "Uh you suppose to do something or?" she asked.

                "Am I not invisible?" Twilight asked.

                "Eh no!" Pinkie Pie said. Unknown to either her or Twilight the purple ufo from earlier came down from the sky and after hovering over the lab for a moment it flew off.

                "Why not?!" Twilight asked.

                "I don't know." Pinkie Pie said "Why did you want to turn invisible in the first place?"

                "None of your business!" Twilight snapped.

                "You do realize you could probably cast an invisibility spell with your horn right?" Pinkie Pie asked.

                "Oh I hadn't thought of that." Twilight said "Let me see if there's anything in the library about it." and with that she teleported away. She didn't even say thank you to Pinkie Pie.

                Pinkie Pie merely sighed "The things I put up with." she said. She had gotten used to being ignored by now.

"My time space contin-"

                 Twilight's house, basement lab

                 South Ponyville.

                 "Mares. Behold!" Twilight Sparkle said "My time space contin-" She suddenly froze, just like when someone pressed the pause button on a T.V. program.

                 Pinkie Pie was silent for a moment. But she soon spoke up because she was worried for Twilight's safety. "Uh Twilight?" she asked. She pressed a hoof to her friend.

                 Twilight didn't answer and merely fell over, shattering into pieces.

                 "Uh o.k., see you later, have a nice weekend." Pinkie Pie said. And with that she left.

                 Some time later Time Turner a brown earth pony stallion with an hourglass cutie mark appeared. "Oh my. What a mess." he said "I thought I sensed someone messing with the fabric of time. Oh well my work is never done it seems." And he set to work on restoring the natural order of things.

                 "Um thank you I guess." Twilight said a few minutes later "Who are you?"

                 "That's not something you need to know." Time Turner said "Trust me when I say the less you know about me the better. Allonsy!" and with that he ran off through the gaint hole created by the rabbot. "By the way!" he called out "You really should get this hole fixed!"

                 "I knew I was forgetting something!" Twilight said "I'm going to have to have a word with Spike about keeping better track of what goes on my checklists."

"Turn it on!"

               Twilight's house, basement lab

               South Ponyville

               "Mares. Turn it on!" Twilight said in a high pitched voice. The reason for this was becasue her head had somehow shrunken. She had it attached to some sort of pump.

               "Uh okay." Pinkie Pie said "Here goes." She pressed a button and the pump activated.

               "Turn it off! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OF-!" Twilight said. The pump worked too quickly and soon her head was begining to press up against her helmet.

               "Okay." Pinkie Pie said. She stopped the pump before it could do anymore damage. "Guess we'll have to send a letter to Princess Celestia asking her for help." she said.

               "And how are we going to explain that I shrunk my head in a scientific experiment?" Twilight asked "You know she'd never approve of what we've been doing."

               "We'll just call it a magical mishap." Pinkie Pie said. "Now I'd better go find Spike so he doesn't freak out when he sees what's happened to you. You stay here."

               "Not like I have much of a choice." Twilight said as Pinkie Pie hopped away.

"OR I'LL NEVER BE PRETTY!"

                 Twilight's house, basement lab

                 South Ponyville

                 "Mares. Behold!" Twilight said "I, have lost weight!"

                 "Heh hey looking good." Pinkie Pie said.

                 "Yes, uh all sugars gone." Twilight said "Manually! With this!" She leviated a chainsaw which was blood stained. All of the fur around her back legs was gone leaving nothing but bones. Pinkie Pie was a little disturbed.

                 "Okay, uh I think I'm gonna go to lunch." Pinkie Pie said nervously "Er I mean dinner." and with that she was off.

                 Twilight leviated the chainsaw over to her back legs again. "I NEED TO LOSE TWENTY MORE POUNDS!" she said "OR I'LL NEVER BE PRETTY!"

                  Meanwhile Pinkie Pie had just made her way upstairs when she ran into Spike.

                  "Oh hi Pinkie." Spike said "How's Twilight?"

                  "Well she's obessed with losing weight." Pinkie Pie said "I think that joke you cracked about her being fat really rubbed her the wrong way. She's even trying to remove sugars from her body with a chainsaw."

                  "Whoa that's cool." Spike said. Pinkie Pie shot him a death glare "But also kind of creepy." he said.

                  "I think we'll need to ask Rarity how snap Twilight out of it." Pinkie Pie said "After all she's always the first one to notice a problem."

                  "Yeah and she's always obessed with keeping her weight in check." Spike said.

".........................."

                Twilight's house, basement lab

                South Ponyville

                There was no one there. The entire lab was covered in what appeared to blood. There seemed to be a skeleton of some kind in the door way. Two eyes poked out from the darkness.

                Luckly for Twilight and co. they were all unharmed, they had escaped before the creature could do any harm to them. "That was close." Spike said.

                "What in the wide world of Equestria was that thing?!" Pinkie Pie asked.

                "I don't know." Twilight said "I'll have to contact Princess Celestia and see if she or Luna know anything."

                "Just remember that they can't know what we're getting up to." Pinkie Pie said "You said it yourself the Princess' would never approve of such experiments."

                "Trust me Pinkie Pie I know what I'm doing." Twilight said "It's all a matter of strecthing the truth."

                "Something tells me I'm going to have a massive mess to clean up when we get back." Fluttershy said "I'm just glad those decoys were there to keep that thing distracted,"

                "Yeah that was some fast thinking on your part Twilight.' Spike said.

"Screw that."

                Twilight's house, basement lab

                South Ponyville

                "Eh, uh, are you, you know, totally sure about this one?" Pinkie Pie asked, looking over the instructions Twilight had given her.

                "It says to do it Pinkie, and I wrote it! So it must be right." Twilight said.

                "Well okay." Pinkie Pie said. She swung a baseball bat and shattered Twilight's helmet, which unfournately somehow managed to disconnect her head from the rest of her body. Her head rolled over to a fire that was being used to roast a turkey. It was a left over from a recent experiment with Spike. Twilight's head instantly caught fire.

                "Now wait for further instructions from talking hole in neck." Pinkie Pie said as she read the directions. The hole in Twilight's neck mearly hissed.

                "Yeah uh. Screw that." Pinkie Pie said. "I'm outta of here."

                Once she left Twilight's head magically reattached itself to her body and her helmet reappeared. "I knew that spell I was practicing would come in handy someday." she said. "I just hope Pinkie Pie isn't too freaked out."

                Pinkie Pie wasn't but all the same she was relieved when Twilight reassured her that she was perfectly fine.

"The thermo-stat!"

                Twilight's house, basement lab

                South Ponyville

                "Mares. Behold!" Twilight Sparkle said "The thermo-stat!" She pointed towards the device near the door.

                Pinkie Pie was not impressed. The thermostat was not something new at all. "That's been there." Pinkie Pie said in a bored voice.

                "Observe! As I, adjust the heat! Buwahahahaha!" Twilight said, using her magic to turn the dial all the way to the right.

                There was an erie silence as the heaters began to roar to life.

                "Is it on?" Pinkie Pie asked although she was afraid of the answer.

                "You tell me." Twilight said "Wahahaha!" Then the realization of what she had just done hit her. "Oh, oh wait!" she said. But it was too late, her body caught fire.

                "I'll save you Twilight!" Pinkie Pie said quickly lowering the thermostat to the point where Twilight could put the flames out. Twilight was singed but otherwise she was unharmed.

                "I really think you need to see a doctor Twilight." Pinkie Pie said.

                "But I am a doctor!" Twilight said.

                "That's not what I meant." Pinkie Pie said "You're starting to become a danger to yourself and others."

                "Oh okay I'll go." Twilight said "But I'm not giving up on science." And with that she teleported herself away after taking a moment to heal her wounds.

                "Oh Twilight, what are we gonna do with you?" Pinkie Pie said as she facehoofed.

"Who stole my maneirum?!"

                Twilight's house, basement lab

                South Ponyville

                "Mares. Who stole my maneirum?!" Twilight asked, peaking up from behind the instrument pannel.

                "Your what?" Pinkie Pie asked, she was confused.

                "My mane helmet!" Twilight shouted.

                "Oh well that's always been there, uh on your head." Pinkie Pie said.

                "Oh." Twilight said. It took a moment for what Pinkie Pie had said to sink in but once it did she seemed to calm down. Then suddenly she yelled out "Bull Sh*t!"

                "Twilight such language!" Fluttershy said "We're going to have to clean out that mouth."

                "You're not my mom!" Twilight said.

                "We'll see about that." Fluttershy said as she dragged Twilight away.

                Pinkie Pie couldn't help but snicker quietly.

"Send the phone spiders!"

                 Twilight's house, basement lab

                 South Ponyville

                 Ring ring went the phone. No one answered. After a few rings the answering machine came on. "Mares. You have reached Dr. Twilight's residence. Now speak at the tone!" Beep went the answering machine.

                 "Hello uh Dr. Twilight. That is the correct name right?" said a female voice on the other end of the line. Twilight was not happy.

                 "Pinkie." she said "Send the phone spiders!" Pinkie Pie carefully placed three mechanical spiders on top of the phone. They traveled through the wires. They were specifically designed to travel through phone lines to the origin point of a call to scare off whoever was calling. Twilight had created them to ward off unwanted callers.

                 "This is uh Steal Beam of the home improvement section of the Ponyville Construction Company." the female voice continued "With Spring here we here at Ponyville Construction thought you might be intrested in a new deck. AAAHHHHHHHHH SPIDERS!"

                 "I guess we're Not intrested." Twilight said "Ahhahaha!"

                 "She's going to be okay right?" Pinkie Pie asked.

                 "Of course." Twilight said "But I doubt she'll be calling back anytime soon."

"Fill me with barbeque sauce because I'm dumb as hell!"

               Twilight's house, basement lab

               South Ponyville

               "Mares." Pinkie Pie said. She was wearing a bucket on her head and was talking to Fluttershy. "Fill me with barbeque sauce becasue I'm dumb as hell!"

               Unknown to Pinkie Pie the door behind her suddenly began to rise revealing a gaint floating Twilight head.

               Fluttershy began to panic "Pinkie Pie look! Do you see what's behind you?! There's a gaint floating head right behind you!"

               "I-I know Fluttershy!" Pinkie Pie said. Then Twilight's gaint head bit Pinkie Pie's head off. The rest of her body leaned onto Fluttershy and then promptly exploded.

               Pinkie Pie poked her head out a moment later. She was unharmed and so was Fluttershy. "That was fun!" Pinkie Pie said "Sorry Fluttershy but Twilight thought this would make for a good prank after the whole barbeque sauce experiment."

               Twilight's gaint head promplty disappered with a poof of violet magic and Twilight emerged not looking the slightest bit different. "I hope we didn't frighten you." Twilight said.

               "Oh I'm fine." Fluttershy said "But um maybe next time you could do something a little less scary for a prank."

               "We'll see." Twilight said.

"Samhane forever!"

               Twilight's house, basement lab

               South Ponyville

               Twilight was wearing a tacky outfit that looked like something from Zecora's hut. She reached over and placed a metal claw that was attached to her hoof on Pinkie Pie.

               Pinkie Pie grew worried "Uh you know what this is my two weeks notice." she said "I mean it."

               "Samhane forever!" Twilight said as she ripped out Pinkie Pie's spine. "Haha!" She posed triumphantly, weilding Pinkie Pie's spine as if though it were some sort of trophy. "Hoho." she chuckled. After a moment she then magically healed Pinkie Pie. "Ah this wasn't as fun as I thought it would be." she said. "Sorry about that."

               "No hard feelings." Pinkie Pie said "But don't ever do that again!"

"We have become one!"

              Twilight's house, basement lab

              South Ponyville

              "Yeah listen we would love to make the ice cream social." Pinkie Pie said "But um."

              "But what Pinkie?!" Celestia asked.

              "Yeah lie to us!" Luna said.

              "We've uh gotten behind at work." Pinkie Pie said.

              "We have become one!" Twilight said. She and Pinkie Pie had their heads merged together with only a thin little neck connecting them.

              "My faithful student have you been conducting science experiments without my permission?!" Celestia asked.

              "Now what would give you that idea?" Twilight asked.

              "Well that for starters." Celestia said.

              "Okay you caught me." Twilight said "But I just couldn't help myself. I swear nopony got hurt."

              "What should we do with them dear sister?" Luna asked.

              "We'll discuss punishment later!" Celestia said "For now it looks like I'll have to make a quick trip to Ponyville to undo the damage."

              "Please hurry." Pinkie Pie said "I want my own body back."

              "Me too." Twilight said.