Macharius

"Just keep driving Liutz, I don't care if there's a train in the way! Schult, blast it! We must be in the city at dusk." the Inquisitor roared from the commander's chair.

"May I ask, Inquisitor, why dusk?" Voss asked from outside the tank, where he was busy dragging the winged pony that had crashed into the hatch onto the front armour plating to be used as a trophy of war in the coming attack on the city.

The Inquisitor declined to answer.

"That Inquisitor sure knows a lot about this world despite the fact he apparently has no idea where we are..." Voss idly mused.

The wierd rainbow coloured flying pony thing was soon attached to the front of the Macharius. At that point, Voss noticed the odd train that Shane had been talking about and he waved to the driver.

Schult was fully aware that the xenos appeared to be pacifists and that the train was no doubt full of them, wondering about the delay.

"Hurry up Schult, I haven't got all day! Blast that train already!" the Inquisitor yelled, obviously impatient.

"If you want something done, do it yourself..." the Inquisitor slammed the firing mechanism into place and the train was soon little more than a pile of smoking wreckage. "Keep driving!"

Schult wondered where they had gotten a Inquisitor from. He was sure that the only Inquisitor on Vraks was Hector Rex...

Liutz slammed the tanks gear into full throttle as the tank began to continue its journey up the mountain towards the city.

"Dusk as you requested Inquisitor."

"Good Liutz, continue driving to the palace. Save your ammo, we'll need it to deal with the two princesses."

"Oi, Bird-face! When you reach the palace, do you mind blasting a particular alicorn for me?" The strangely familiar voice echoed through the Inquisitor's mind.

"And why should I do that?" The Inquisitor mentally shot back.

"Does kinship count for nothing these days? Look Tzeentchie, we're both relatively powerless. I'm stuck in a stone wall under that stupid castle, my parasites have forgotten their creator and the fail safe was diverted to your galaxy. Sure it took those stupid alicorns a while and they had to use a whole bunch of "Element of harmony" artefacts which in my book counts as cheating. Just lend me a bit of power and we can face them two-on-two. And you've disrupted the location of the element bearers that they can't touch us. (Starts singing 'You can't touch this')"

"Malal...?"

"Took you a while although I'm called Discord here. Fits their stupid naming philosophy... Anyway, I'll meet you in the plaza. Those alicorns are about to feel what it's like to be out matched.

Tzeentch could feel his power being sucked away by his idiot brother.

The tank and crew arrived at the city to find no resistance as they smashed through the train station. The city was deserted as the tank rumbled through the wide streets towards the castle plaza.

The plaza appeared to have been the scene of a battle. All across the plaza laid the prone forms of various ponies, unicorns and pegasi. In front of the castle stood the two princesses, judging by their size and opposite them what could only be described as a spawn which was obviously Malal.

"What madness is this, Discord?" The white alicorn shouted out.

Discord laughed. "You see Princesses, chaos always finds a way. My brother over there, has accidentally dealt with the elements of harmony and just so happens to be quite probably be the best magic user in every known galaxy. Mostly because he invented it. Come on Tzeentch, lets show these mere Demi-gods what Chaos undivided can do!"

The Inquisitor rose from the tank hatch and stood at the front of the turret. He didn't notice Voss walking closely behind him.

Voss raised the gun to the Inquisitor's head.

"In the name of the God-Emperor of Mankind, I charge you with heresy and I find you wanting. The punishment is death." Voss pulled the trigger, sending a las-bolt into the back of the Inquisitor's head sending him sprawling off the turret.

The body dissolved and swiftly reformed into a massive, horned raven by Discord's side.

"You brought Imperials with you?" Discord facepalmed.

"I needed a ride, didn't I?"

At that point the two alicorns noticed that Rainbow Dash was strapped to the front of the tank and she let out a cry "Who would dare harm my little ponies?"

Voss climbed into the tank and yelled "Mexican standoff!"

Soon enough the three factions were locked in what was quite possibily the most epic Mexican standoff in history. On one side stood two gods of Chaos, on the other stood their polar opposite. And stuck in the middle, the crew of Macharius 201, named Golden Horn, faced down both of them with nothing but the fire in their bellies and the prayers on their lips.

"Voss, I never signed up for facing down gods!"

"Neither did I Schult- they may be gods but we hold all the power."

"What do you mean, Voss?"

"They are evenly matched in terms of power. Our tank could tip the balance either way."

Voss peeked out the hatch.

"And they know it."

"What do we do Tia, we can't win in a straight fight against Discord and the raven!"

"We have to persuade those humans, I think they're humans at least, to attack Discord."

"What! You've seen what they've done to Rainbow Dash!"

"What were you thinking Bird Brain? Now we have to persuade the Imperials to sit this out or side with us rather than those stupid alicorn sisters over there!"

Discord waved a claw towards them.

"Otherwise we could have easily defeated them!"

"Calm down, they are Imperials. They will sit it out. They have to pick between xenos and heretics. They won't be able to decide."

"All crew, for the first time in the history of the Imperium, we are having a democratic vote on something. We've got two xeno god-ruler things and two chaos gods. We can't kill both. So I will let you decide!"

"I'm all for killing chaos, same for my loaders." Schult said.

"Same down here. We have fought Chaos before but not these xenos. Better to kill the enemy you know than the unknown factor." Liutz shouted.

"Liutz, turn Golden Horn towards the horse things. Schult, turret to 10 o'clock, angle 4 degrees, low velocity, short fuse, high explosive. And ready the H-K-M rack as well, you can never be too sure when dealing with daemons."

Discord smiled as the tank turned towards the alicorns.

"See, birdie, I told you they'd kill the xenos."

"No you idiot, look at the..."

The turret guns fired.

"Turret." Tzeentch finished.

Tzeentch flew into the air and away but Malal wasn't so lucky, instead being knocked out cold by the blast.

"Er, Voss, those two xenos don't look too happy..."

Voss looked out of the turret to see the two fuming horned-horse things trotting across the plaza towards them.

"Liutz, reverse, reverse, reverse!"

The lumbering tank slowly began to reverse before a psychic barrier formed around the tank, preventing it from moving.

"Seriously Voss, this is a new low. Captured by psyker horses? Even the time you added all those ork totem poles and drove straight out of the ork warcamp was more logical."

"Shut up Schult, these xenos have a democracy or something like it. They will give us a trial. And I get to use a legal defence I haven't used since those Tau found our tank in the middle of a ruined Tau city."

"Oh... I think we may have just outclassed them by a shot longer than Sgt Telion's when he picked up a lascannon."

Voss grinned. "Exactly."

Voss groaned as he woke up in a cramped cell.

He saw a pony in some form of feudal-plate standing in front of the bars.

"You're awake. And I have some..."

Voss pulled his las-pistol out and proceeded to shoot the horse in the face, killing it instantly.

"No you don't have any questions. Because you're dead."

"And what do you say in your defence?" Princess Celestia, the judge, asked.

"We were only following orders." Voss said.

"That's your brilliant defence? It has never worked. Ever!" Schult whispered heatedly in Voss's ear.

"And how do you plead?"

"Guilty." Voss spoke.

This caused quite a stir among the assembled crowd of ponies.

"What are you doing Voss, we're going to be cryoed, executed, shot, imprisoned or tortured!"

"You'll see, Byrzan, you'll see."

"As you have pleaded guilty to the murder of 24 ponies, psychological harrasment of the town of Ponyville and torturing Rainbow Dash, I hereby sentence you to death."

"Except you can't."

"What?" Celestia looked puzzled by this.

" Y'see, you can't sentence us to death for two reasons. One, being representatives of a foreign power, we have diplomatic immunity!" Voss gestured at her.

"Do they have diplomatic immunity?" Rainbow Dash asked from the witness box.

"No, as they are not part of a formal embassy!" Celestia shouted at the assembled crew.

Several ponies cheered at this.

"And, we are POW's. And according to the Kor'san Convention, you cannot execute POW's. You can only hold them until the war ends."

"We are not at war with you."

"The Imperium is at war with everything that is not the Imperium. You are not part of the Imperium and you are a xeno, therefore the Imperium is at war with you. We merely fired the first shots you are aware of." Voss said.

"So therefore we must be held in a POW camp. And as you do not have a POW camp available, this world counts as our POW camp. Trump that." Schult finished, catching on to Voss's plan.

The room descended into outrage as Schult finished.

"They have just legally beaten me in my own court." Celestia sighed to herself.

"Sister, can they do that?" Luna asked.

"Unfortunately, yes."

The whole room turned towards Princess Celestia, the ponies with horror and the Guardsmen with slight disbelief.

"But, as they are not citizens of Equestria, they have not the protection of her laws." Luna spoke.

Voss turned to his crew. "Run!"