This WAS a Breakout Plan.

by overlord-flinx

Rating: everyone
Tags: Derpy Hooves, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, King Sombra, Random, Adventure
Length: 1141

Derpy Hooves... King Sombra... Two beings that have one thing in common... Absolutely nothing. But from absolutely nothing, can they work together to break out of a jail?

Derpy Hooves... King Sombra... Two beings that have one thing in common... Absolutely nothing. But from absolutely nothing, can they work together to break out of a jail? Probably not.

A companion piece to Know Your Mare.

One-Shot.

Reading: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZORGPfnnL8

Published 2013-01-20 18:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-20 18:40:01 UTC

Vengeance is a dish best served...

Had it been a month? Or was it five days? Perhaps a year had gone by? The moments just blended together after the first week of incarceration. Derpy Hooves paced from one end of her cell to the other, listening to the chatter of other inmates in the distance. Every moment devoured at her mortal soul, even to the point that her flesh began to itch as starvation began to eat at her own self. Even torture was never this cruel! She snapped to the bars of her cell and looked to the Canterlot guard stationed right outside of it. "How long will you keep me here!?" She cried, her lungs choking from a lack of fresh air.

"Ma'am, as I told you when we brought you back in there after your lunch, it has only been three days. Please calm yourself..." the guard seemed less than amused, to the point he did not even look at the loopy eye pony.

Monsters... That wasn't lunch. What lunch didn't provide apple sauce? These prison guards were worse than scum. Derpy undid herself from the bars and slinked back to the other side of the cell.

Three days... Three days had it been since she delivered the mail... Three days since she had a nice muffin top... Three days since that unicorn in the corner of the cell started looking at her with a hatred that seemed to be growing the more she looked back at him.

"What're you in for?" She asked.

The unicorn snorted a crude look to Derpy before flinging his red cape over his body. She found it strange that they let whoever this was keep their cape, crown, and whatever that weird neck thing around his neck was. When a moment of silence came into the cell, Derpy felt she had to break it before the silence too tried to start killing her.

"Me? Why am I here? Well... In January of 2012, I was sent to this prison for a crime I didn't commit..."

This seemed to bring the unicorn's attention. He looked over his shoulder and lifted one of his brows curiously. "I mean... I don't even know how to hold a bat! How could I ruin the Doc's magic picture box-porta potty?"

The unicorn moved out of the shadows and looked at Derpy even more curiously. Derpy had to reflect such a curiosity since she saw this unicorn was fairly missing something important. "... Vengeance..." he mumbled with a hushed tone that rattled through the cell.

"OH! They cheated you too?" Derpy put a hoof to her face and began to think. Once the single gear in the cobweb ridden echo-chamber that was her head started to tick, she clapped her hoof back against the floor. "I got it! With you and me working together... We could break out!"

Just from the sheer level she said that, the un-unicorn was forced to cover her mouth with one of his hooves. "Shhhhh..." he hissed into her ear as he dragged her to his corner of the cell.

When he took his hoof off of her mouth, she immediately started talking again. "Right, right, right, right, right. Shhhhhh! So, are you in or out?" She put one of her hooves up, expecting him to clap his hoof into it as a form of agreement.

This dark unicorn missing his horn pondered the idea for just a moment. Slowly, his larger hoof clack against the base of Derpy's. "Sombra..."

"Sombra, huh? Alrighty-mikey. I'm Derpy Hooves... So... Got any ideas on how to break out?"

Sombra mused for a thought by plopping one of his hooves against his strong chin. Soon, a devilish smirk creased between his lips and he moved to whisper something into his newest partner. The hush of barely audible words was all the guard outside heard, followed by a pair of snickers. The guard's full attention was drawn when Derpy came back to the cell door and cleared her throat for attention. "Mr. Guard-sir? Can I ask you a favor?"

The guard's orders directly from Shining Armor were very simple; this inmate was far from a threat, and was only to be serving her time until the charges could be worked out properly. For this reason, she would not be treated like a criminal. The guard leaned close to her behind the bars and gave her an attentive look. "Yes, ma'am? What can I do for you?"

Before the guard could even react, a blood red cape swung around the bars and hooked the back of the guard's neck. With a swift jerk, the guard's neck cracked loudly and his body fell limp against the bars. At this, Derpy slid one of her wings out and picked a pair of keys from the guard's side. Clinking the few keys against the keyhole, the cell finally opened and Derpy pranced out with a gleeful expression. "The favor was for you to get wrecked!" Derpy snickered with a look to the limp guard Sombra was undoing his cape around.

After Sombra cleaned his cape off, he moved beside Derpy and studied the open area of the prison. A few of the other inmates seemed to have keyed in on the quick action the two just did and were now looking out of their own cells at the two escapees. "What do we do now? Go find your horn?"

Sombra answered Derpy by moving back to the guard they just took out and put a hoof on either side of his white horn. He wasn't going to need it any more. So, with another snap against that guard, Sombra claimed his horn and put it in place of his broken one. "...I don'know if that's how that works."

The dark king only shook his head and began to lead his way down the hallway, passing by many onlooking prisoners. Derpy skipped along behind him with nothing but joy in her step. Wherever this path led them, these two were bound with one another until their pact was completed...

"We will break out of this prison in but a moment if we knock out the guard..."

"Knock 'em out? Psh... He'll get back up if we just knock 'em out. I'll lead him close, than you snap his neck with your cape."

"...Are you sure you did not do that crime?"

"Derpy Hooves don't do no petty vandalism... But she's about to do some pre-meditative heats of passion when she gets out of here."

"...Help me get my horn back... And you'll have a powerful ally in that..."

Thus the tale of Sombra the Black and Derpy the Crooked began... Until they were found five minutes later after killing the guard trying to steal muffin tops from the mess hall...