A Day at the Quest Hub

Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 12
Epilogue
Chapter 2
Chapter 11

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Two weeks earlier...

Carrot Top sat at her desk, buried in papers. She dug her hooves through the bills at the top of the pile, searching underneath. More bills appeared. She sighed deeply. Life used to be so simple. Work the fields, hire extra help, do the harvest, sell some wares in the market, ship the rest to wholesale buyers. It was never boring, especially with her neighbours’ regular antics, but it was a stable existence. She knew how to keep everything going.

Then, Deathwing came. An enormous, insane dragon bringing with him a wave of fiery death that reduced Ponyville to smouldering ruins. In just a couple of minutes, everypony died. Then things took a turn from tragic to downright bizarre: the Princesses returning ponies from the dead with a spell that defied comprehension of the wisest unicorns; new, strange monsters coming in the wake of the fire and even stranger foreign heroes who arrived to oppose them; tales of a huge world that existed just outside Equestria’s borders...

The farmpony’s train of thought was interrupted by a knock on the door. A blue pony with puffy, honey brown mane poked her head into the office.

Carrot Top looked up from a pile of papers she had been reading through. “Yes, Blueberry? What is it this time?”

The blue mare walked into the room, stopping right in front of the desk. She looked sternly at her boss. “We need to talk.”

Carrot Top already knew where this was going. “I can pay you half today. There will be more, once we are done with the shipment.” Even before she finished, she knew it wouldn’t be enough.
“Hey, I have a home and bills to pay, too. I need to eat something,” retorted Blueberry. Her expression softened a bit. “I know it has been hard ever since the fire, but you are getting help from the Alliance...”
“Oh yes, we are,” interrupted Carrot Top. “We got seeds to replace our lost harvest. The druids came and made everything grow in record time. But we still lost all that was already gathered, along with the barn, my house and most of the farming equipment. All my reserves went into rebuilding and it isn’t nearly finished yet. I need to pay you and the others to do all the wasted work all over again...” She paused, realising that she had been rising her voice, finally finished with a deep sigh. “If it continues like this, we’ll all be eating grass next year.”

Her employee stood in silence for a moment, considering her words. Finally she spoke: “The Apples got burned too and they aren’t having that much trouble... what are you doing differently?”
This might have been a perfectly sensible question but Blueberry’s tone made it sound like an accusation. Carrot Top felt her shoulders tense. “Well... for one thing, they hadn’t yet started the harvest when Deathwing attacked. They work the orchard as a family, without hiring extra help. Most importantly, Applejack is a powerful warrior. Her heroics bring home more cash than the rest of the Apple clan put together.”

“Well, perhaps you should try that too then?”

For several seconds there was silence, Carrot Top stunned both by the ridiculous idea and by her farm hoof’s behaviour. She must have really needed the money if she lost control like that. Ponies got fired for less than that. Fortunately for Blueberry, Carrot Top wasn’t the type to get easily provoked. She limited herself to raising an eyebrow at her employee. “Do I look like an adventuring type to you?”

***

That was the last of them.
Carrot Top dropped the swatter and looked around, breathing heavily. The ground was littered with apple-sized balls of flesh. The buzzing sound ceased, leaving only the music coming out of the baiting device. The yellow and orange pony squinted. Did this pounding rhythm really count as music? If it did, it really wasn’t to her taste. Then again it was not for her enjoyment. Its purpose was to attract any parasprites that might be lurking nearby. The last thing Ponyville needed now was one of the little gluttons emerging from Everfree and causing another disaster...

Fortunately, last year’s swarm taught the citizens of Ponyville how to deal with the creatures. With all the qualities that made them so troublesome, parasprites couldn’t resist music. A device created by Vinyl Scratch could lure them in from the surrounding area, sparing the ponies a futile task of chasing them around the bushes. They still had a nasty bite though. Carrot Top turned to look at a circular bruise on her shoulder. Then she started packing all the equipment into her saddle bags.

What she did didn’t look much like an “adventure”, more like a slightly dangerous chore. But from what she had heard, everypony started like that. It helped that this particular “quest” helped to protect her own farm as well. For her first try, it wasn’t that bad. She reached to a side pocket of her bag for a map, checking the description of her assignment.

[3] A task for a swat team

Objectives: set up the baiting device at the edge of Everfree forest (complete)
Use the swatter to swat 10 parasprites (complete)
Return the device to Vinyl Scratch

Notes:
“Just set it up and press the button. It’s all automatic. Gnome technology.”

It seemed everything was done. Just as she was done packing, Carrot Top heard a voice from behind her. “Carrot Top! I didn’t know you were doing quests!”

The voice was female, with a thick, night-elven accent. Carrot Top didn’t recognize it. She did however recognize the speaker, a fair-coated mare with blue and pink mane, emerging from the forest. She walked up closer to greet her.“Oh, Hello, Bon Bon. How are you doing? And what have you been doing in the forest?”

As she approached, Carrot Top could take a closer look. Her friend was wearing a light quilted jacket and a handle of a light mace poked out of one of her saddle bags. It wasn’t anything fancy but clearly adventuring gear. And it looked like it had seen recent use. While the mare herself seemed unhurt, her mane was in disarray and she was clearly tired. It was only then that Carrot Top noticed a length of rope attached to the bags. Something moved in the bushes on the other end.

“Truffles.” Bon Bon beckoned towards the rope and a large pig on the other end emerged into view. It too looked unhurt but visibly stressed.“Big Mac hired me to go gather some. It’s always extra food and they fetch a good price. But Ernest here is afraid of his own shadow. If I hadn’t tied him to me, I would have spent the rest of the day looking for him in the forest. ”

So, Bon Bon was a bit more experienced in the matters of adventuring. Perhaps she could offer some advice? Carrot Top decided to ask. “All I’ve got so far today is parasprite swatting. Do you know of anything else to do around here ?”

They left the edge of the forest and started walking toward the farms. Bon Bon thought for a moment before answering. “Well, hunting truffles is a daily, so you might give it a try. But you’d need to wear something to protect your coat. Getting dragged through the forest is no fun. By the way, do you have a class yet?”

“Not really. I do have a couple of levels, you know, with all that happened here over the last year. But I haven’t seriously considered adventuring until now. If I really get into it ... I might become a druid. What do you think?”

Bon Bon nodded her head. “A pretty good choice, I’d say. A druid can be good at anything. Plus you can learn to fly later. Although... I‘ve seen a lot of druids wear skins and furs. Do you have to do that? I mean a belt or a strap is one thing, but...”

“No, I don’t think so,” replied Carrot Top. “I have seen Fluttershy and her dress is all plants. Not even wood, plants. It looks like its growing on her.”

Bon Bon walked in silence for a moment, absorbing the mental image, before giving a little snicker. “Does she have to water it... oh, speaking of plants. I just remembered. If you are looking for more work today, Nurse Redheart needs somepony to go into the forest and gather some herbs for her. I was thinking of taking it but I don’t know much about herbalism. How about you?”

The farmpony smiled and nodded.”I think that could work. Thank you, Bon Bon.”

After the two ponies got back to the farms, they parted ways, Bon Bon heading towards Sweet Apple Acres, Ernest in tow, while Carrot Top went towards her home. This was going to be a busy day.

***

Vinyl Scratch was sitting in the yard of Carrot Farm, surrounded by a pile of equipment she had brought in using a cart. Right now she was busy tampering with one of the devices, fully focused on the sounds flowing from it into her headphones. Upon seeing Carrot Top approach, she gave a friendly nod.

“I have done all you asked for. Here is your baiter back,” said Carrot Top, setting the box on the ground and looking around. There were multiple hoof prints in the dirt; apparently Vinyl attracted quite a number of adventurers. Hopefully the stream of ponies coming and going would not disrupt the work at the farm.

The DJ didn’t speak but reached under her table and produced a couple coins, levitating them towards the farmpony. She took the baiter but waved her head when Carrot Top tried to give her back the swatter.

“Is that all?” asked Carrot.

A soft sound emerged from her saddlebags. She knew it meant the map updating – the task had been finished.

*Reputation with Canterlot increased [25]

She left Vinyl Scratch in the yard and took a moment to inspect the farm, making sure her two farm hooves were doing ok in her absence. She was about to head towards the Ponyville Hospital when she heard a young colt’s voice behind her. “Um... Miss?”

She turned around to see a short and very plump boy looking up at her. She took a step sideways to see his cutie mark, which turned out to be cutlery, and trying to remember his name. Carrot Top vaguely remembered one of the kids calling him “Chowder” but that seemed to be his nickname and she did not know if he approved of it. Deciding to avoid using a name altogether, she asked:“Yes? I am a little busy now. What do you need?”

“Umm we wanted to earn some extra pocket money and there are so many ponies coming through here... Would it be a big problem if we set up a lemonade stand here?”

Carrot Top waved her hoof dismissively. “No... not at all. You can go ahead and set up next to Vinyl. Just don’t get in the way.”

The colt turned around and shouted.“She said we can!”

Just as he said that, a group of four kids emerged from behind a nearby shed. They carried planks and nails, water and lemons... all except for the last one, a pink filly with a styled mane and a small tiara on top of her head.

Carrot blinked in surprise.“Diamond Tiara?”

The rest of the group set their burden on the ground and started to match the planks together. Diamond Tiara looked at them impatiently.“Would you be quicker? The customers can come here any minute... yes Miss?”

Carrot Top looked down at her.“Shouldn’t you be helping too?”

The filly looked up with indignation. “Of course not. It was all my idea. I also supply the lemons, the most crucial ingredient. That means my... business associates are responsible for technical details... Not like this! You’re holding the plan upside down!”

Carrot Top decided that there was no point to further discussion. Being a hard worker herself, she had a couple of harsh words at the tip of her tongue, but that would probably change nothing. Instead she turned away and headed towards the town.

* You are now [neutral] with The Consortium.

Huh? What was that?

Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Carrot Top awoke with a startled gasp. No, it didn’t sound right. No actual noise left her mouth. She looked around only to see the forest turned grey and white, a flowing patchwork of light and shadow devoid of all colours, the sky above filled with swirls of ethereal wind, like a monochromatic aurora borealis. Looking down, Carrot Top could see her legs glow faint white, as immaterial as everything around her. She turned at the muted shuffling behind her and there was her own mangled body, sprawled on the ground, her killer still crouching over it. As the farmpony watched, the undead grabbed the corpse by the shoulders and turned it over, exposing the unprotected belly. The monster stooped lower, her jaws making a squelching noise as they stretched impossibly wide...

Carrot Top screamed soundlessly and her world turned black again.

***

Carrot Top awoke with a startled gasp. Just like the previous one, it was completely soundless. She jumped to her hooves and looked around, only to find herself in a completely different place. The world was still swirling black, white and grey, but she was no longer anywhere near where she died. She was standing at the base of a steep hill surrounded by the forest. No, not a hill. A burial mound. Carrot Top couldn’t see any entrance or even a stone marker, but somehow she knew; she felt the dead sleeping inside, soundlessly calling to her. The presence was cold, literally cold as the grave, but at the same time strangely soothing. Just a few steps and then no more pain, no more worry, just the tranquillity of oblivion as the world drifts past centuries after centuries...

So, she really was dead. She dropped down on her haunches, her mind just clear enough to notice she wasn’t taking it as hard as she should have. Obviously, there was no blood to run cold in her veins at the thought, no heart to go up to her throat, no tears to shed. She just sat there thinking back to the morning when she left her home to take her first quest, to try to earn some extra money for the farm. It had worked so well for so many others. But all she’d found on her road to adventure was a violent death on her first day out. She thought back to the first time she died, incinerated in the raging inferno that consumed her stall along with the rest of the town, then the soft light of the Royal Sisters bringing her back to the land of the living. But there were no princesses here. Nopony would find her. Her body was partially eaten by her killer, a final insult to add to the fatal injury, and the rest left to scavengers. Soon there would be no sign she ever came to the forest.

Without her, there was no way the farm could stay afloat. She wondered if any of her relatives would keep trying to salvage it or sell it to the Apples. Or perhaps it would just get abandoned, another ruin on the outskirts that adventurers so like to search for abandoned supplies and old mementos...

‘You cannot linger here.’ It wasn’t so much a sound as pure meaning expressing itself in her mind, bypassing the absent ears, a voice that she felt must have been coming from behind her. ‘Either go back or pass on.’

Too numb to be startled, Carrot Top turned around. Behind her, a tall humanoid figure floated in the air, a faintly glowing translucent female wrapped in white cloth, much taller than any human Carrot Top had seen. Wide wings with long strands of light in place of feathers spread around the spirit, not even bothering to flap, more like a badge of office than actual, usable limbs. The woman looked down at the farmpony from under her white hood. ’Your destiny has not ended yet.’

Carrot Top looked up, her ears perking up even as she struggled with the concept. ‘But... I died. How can I be...’ She paused, realising what she had just done. She still couldn’t hear her words, not really. But they were there. She could talk, at least to other spirits.

The hooded figure was quick to answer her question. ’Many die before their time. We correct it. Resurrection magic corrects it. When it is time for you to die, no power will change it, but today you can go back.’

Carrot Top shook her head. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘Wait. It doesn’t work like this. Ponies die when they are killed. You can’t just pop back up...’

‘That is how it should work. That is how it worked when your land was isolated from the madness that gripped the world. But now, you share the fate of the other races,’ answered the spirit.

‘So, we missed out on avoiding death because we kept away from the others?’

The woman’s expression didn’t change, but there was a suggestion of a frown in her response. ‘You did not miss out on avoiding death. You did not die before your time, over and over again. Having your destiny twisted is not something to rejoice in. The forces that should safeguard this reality pull at the strings of fate, fighting for dominance. Time is out of joint. Any day the whole world might collapse into madness. This is not something to be happy with. Now, linger no longer. Pass on or go back.’

‘Go back?’ Carrot top looked towards the forest and instantly knew she had turned in the direction where her body was. ‘Just like that? But my body is... missing... pieces...’ If she still had a stomach, it would twist at the mental image.

The spirit didn’t seem concerned. ‘Irrelevant. As soon as your soul returns, your body will come back to life. Or I can pull it here for you. You are insignificant enough, that it will make no difference in the grand scheme of things.’

That sounded insulting, but Carrot Top had too much to wrap her head around already to start arguing. Struggling to find some balance between a sudden rush of hope and the mind-boggling absurdity of the situation, she considered the proposition,

I don’t know where I am. I am pretty sure I would have remembered seeing this place before. I can feel my... body... that way and quite some distance away, I think. Assuming it wasn’t moved...

‘We are deeper into the forest, aren’t we?’

The winged figure didn’t respond. Carrot Top looked up at the sky, but the strange spirit world had no sun to navigate by. Finally, the farmpony climbed the mound to get a better view. She could barely see above the treetops, but the few mountain tops she glimpsed confirmed her initial deduction.

‘I would have to go back anyway, and here I can meet something like a manticore or a cocatrice. I think I will just walk.’

‘As you wish.’ The spirit nodded, but didn’t move from her spot, watching over the mound as the farmpony started walking between the trees. Soon Carrot Top discovered that she could move faster now, passing through the bushes and over roots, her ghostly hooves moving forward without breaking the thinnest twig. Behind her the presence of the waiting dead slowly faded into the distance. She could see indistinct shapes moving through the forest, reflections of the living things that only became recognizable when she approached very close. Her decision to not raise at the burial mound was soon validated as one such shape was revealed to be a hungry manticore. Carrot Top passed right in front of it, invisible and inaudible, moving towards her destination.

***

Carrot Top slowed down and looked around. There it was. Her body. She hesitated. A part of her wished to stay away, to spare her the sight she knew would haunt her dreams. Cringing, she inched forward. A quick look around didn’t uncover any predators. Were they kept away by the smell of her killer? Or perhaps she was still around there somewhere?

She is much more experienced than me. She must have known I would be back eventually. Could she be waiting here to kill me again? No. What kind of sick monster would do that?

Just then Carrot Top remembered exactly what kind of monster her killer was. Slowly, wary of every moving leaf, she circled the area. Then, praying to the Sisters that her fears be proven wrong, she approached her corpse.

It was still there, just as she had last seen it, except for... Carrot Top squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to take in too many details. She took another step and leaned forward. The feeling was like diving into a lake. She was surrounded by wet darkness and trying to get some sense of direction. Finally, she felt as if something clicked - she was in the right place.. The returning feelings of a living body hit her like a crashing wave, her first breath turned into a gasp of pain.

A moment passed before Carrot Top finally rolled onto her side and looked around. Judging by how far the sun had moved, she must have been dead for hours. The forest was silent, no enemy or predator coming to take advantage of her current state. Which was a very good thing, since she was barely able to get up at the moment.

Looking down, she was relieved to see the spirit had said the truth. She was alive and in one piece, despite all the blood on the grass around her. She could still feel all the places where she had been stabbed, but the wounds weren’t nearly as deep as they should have been. Also, much to her relief, her belly didn’t look like it had been ripped open and most importantly, both her eyes seemed ok.
Having made sure she was alive, Carrot Top looked at her equipment. Her clothes were torn and stained with blood, but to her surprise nothing was missing. It seemed the killer hadn’t even bothered to search her bags. Opening a side pocket, she found a small radish and crushed it between her teeth. The sharp taste helped her wake up. Sitting on her haunches, she then pulled out a roll of bandages.

At least I know how to patch myself up.

It came naturally with working on a farm. The combination of torn, bloodied clothes and bandages made the mare look like a bizarre scarecrow, but at least she wouldn’t be leaving a trail of blood as she went. Now all she needed to do was get up and find the way home. She was in no condition to adventure any more that day.

I came from there... It’s afternoon and the sun is there... Good thing the wood isn’t as dense here. I can actually see the sun. So, the north is that way. This is the easiest way to get home. I just need to keep going in the same direction.

Slowly at first, ignoring her body’s initial protests, Carrot Top started walking. Soon she started to walk faster, still with a bit of a limp but now with some hope of actually getting home before dinner. That is, as long as she doesn’t run into any more trouble on her way. She regularly stopped to listen, careful to balance looking out for signs of trouble with making sure she was still going west. She was quite aware she smelled of blood, for a predator a smell of both food and weakness. But getting lost again would probably mean having to spend the night in the forest. She was sure she didn’t want that.

Something rustled in the bushes ahead and Carrot Top froze. Her aching body and tiredness momentarily forgotten, she reached for her weapon, ready to defend herself. It was too late to back off and look for another way. She had to face it, whatever it …

“Oink?”

Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Carrot Top stared at the pig. The animal returned her gaze with what might have been a pensive expression. Either that or a look of complete indifference, Carrot couldn’t say. She was never good at talking to pigs. When the animal emerged from the bushes, the farmpony saw more details; remains of a rope tied around the pig’s body and a pair of ruffled white wings on its sides. Something clicked in her head. “You’re that pig from the poison joke accident.”

“Oink.” The pig walked forward, sniffing at the farmpony. It was dirty, but unhurt and didn’t even seem particularly scared.“Hrumk?” It walked closer and nuzzled against Carrot Top’s saddlebags, trying to peer inside. Carrot pushed it away with an impatient gesture.

“I don’t have anything more to eat. If you want food, why don’t you come back to Sweet Apple Acres?”

The pig shot her a surprised look. “Oink? Hrumk, hrumk. Squee!” Carrot Top had no idea what it meant. She knew of ponies who spoke fluent pig, but she wasn’t one of them. Just as she was about to say that aloud, a “ping” sound came from her bag. Surprised, she reached into it and found her map glowing. On the back, there was another entry.

[6] When pigs fly

Objectives: escort Pigasus to the edge of the forest

Notes:
“Oink? Hrumk, hrumk. Squee!”

Well, that explained a little. Carrot Top sighed and looked down at “Pigasus”. If this was considered a quest, perhaps the day could still be salvaged after all.

“Ok, I can help you get home. Just...”

The pig didn’t wait for the farmpony to finish. Oinking happily, it spread its wings, fluttering slightly above the ground and started moving towards Ponyville. Carrot Top had no choice but to follow.

Soon the two came upon a path through the forest. Pigasus followed it, occasionally stopping to sniff at the nearby shrubbery. After a moment Carrot Top realised that the path didn’t lead directly north. Far from that, it seemed to be the scenic route through the forest. Ignoring the protests of her aching body, she tried to keep up. “Hey! I thought you were lost in the forest...”

This is ridiculous... Does he think I’m taking him for a walk or what? He clearly knows the way back... And why couldn’t he just fly home... I hope the Apples have some sort of reward for this...

The pig hopped and fluttered along the path, oblivious to his saviour’s growing impatience. He stopped at another bush, pushing his snout through the twigs in search of something edible. Carrot top used the moment to catch up with him and stood there, panting, waiting for the creature to resume its hopping. It didn’t happen.

“Oink?”

Carrot Top watched in surprise as the pig stepped back onto the path, his movements suddenly all stiff and the feathers of his wings bristled. The farmpony worked with vegetables much more than with animals, but she knew enough to recognise this reaction. It was fear. Then the bushes started changing shape. No, it wasn’t the right expression. Something moved out of the bush, something that, up to this point, had looked like a part of the plant. Branches stretched forward, scratching the ground, the bark-covered body emerged from among the leaves. A pair of glowing, green eyes opened, staring with malice. A low growl emerged from the creature’s throat, instantly answered by similar voices from all around the path. From between the trees, three more timber wolves emerged, forming a circle around the pig and his caretaker.

Timber wolves, four of them. They don’t like noise - a frying pan, where can I find a frying pan...

As Carrot Top’s mind raced, she stepped back, ready to run. The first wolf had already pounced at Pigasus and the air was filled with desperate squeals as the pig dodged around trying to evade the snapping jaws. The other three predators used the mare’s hesitation to surround her. It was too late to run, especially with her wounds. Desperate, she pulled out her swatter. A wild swing caught the nearest timber wolf on the muzzle, forcing it back for a few seconds, but achieving little else. Then it struck back and it was only by a stroke of luck that Carrot managed to pull her own face out of the way of the bite. She kept walking backwards, starting to lose balance as the three wolves snapped at her, trying to get a grip and hold her down. She felt stinging pain as the first bite connected, too shallow to grab her, but strong enough to rip through her suit and draw blood.

I’m gonna die! I don’t want to die again!

Wham!

A dark, metallic shape appeared out of nowhere, slamming into the closest timber wolf with such force that the creature was shattered like balsa wood. A piercing battle cry followed, so loud that it made Carrot Top’s limbs lock from fear, leaving her stiff and defenceless for a brief moment. Fortunately it seemed to have the same effect on the wolves. The new combatant, who turned out to be a heavily armoured female pegasus, attacked the beasts in a blur of speed, kicking, biting, and swiping her wings around her. The farmpony’s eyes widened with shock as one such swipe caught a timber wolf’s front paw and took it clean off. The pegasus grabbed the wolf by the neck with her teeth, pulling it completely off balance before using her wings to make a flip in the air, bucking her target into a tree trunk. She landed on another one with her front hooves, stomping its head into the ground with earth-shaking force. The last timber wolf attempted to pounce at her, only to be greeted with a double kick, which knocked it back and upright, briefly exposing its neck. The wing tips met in a horizontal arc, like a huge pair of scissors. The green light in the beast’s eyes faded and it collapsed into a pile of twigs.

Carrot Top exhaled loudly, only now realising that she had been holding her breath for the entire fight. She had also dropped the swatter. She was about to pick it up when the stranger turned towards her.

“What are you doing here, Carrot Top? This is too far into the forest for somepony your level...”

The voice was familiar. So was the blonde mane and tail. It took Carrot Top another second to notice the lavender wings and the orchid eyes visible between the plates of the elaborate helmet.

“Cloud Kicker? I didn’t recognize you in all that metal. I came here to gather some herbs and then got lost.”

“And ended here? You were lucky we found you. Are you hurt?”

Carrot Top looked at her flank. “It is just a scratch...” She immediately realised how stupid that sounded. She was covered in rags and wrapped in bloodied bandages all over, the last injury just the latest mishap in what had been a very painful day. Carrot was about to correct herself when unexpectedly she was enveloped by golden light. The wound disappeared. So did the throbbing pain in her sides and the headache she had from her near-concussion. Hearing flapping of wings, she looked up. Another familiar mare hovered in the air, dressed in elaborate white robes.

“Blossomforth? You too?”

The second pegasus landed on the grass. “Of course. Somepony needs to look after Cloud Kicker when she charges headlong into a fight.”

Carrot Top walked around Blossomforth, examining her robes. They were very elaborate, with silver linings and large gemstones. “Are you here to adventure? The way Cloud tackled those timber wolves, you two must be very strong.”

Blossomforth pointed at her saddle bags. Strange mechanical parts poked from the inside. “We don’t normally show up here. We were just setting weather balloons to help monitor the clouds over Everfree. It’s nice to help protect Equestria and all, but with Dash constantly on the battlegrounds and us two flying all over the world, Raindrops is left in charge of the weather team. She needs all the help she can get. Cloud Kicker thought it would be a good moment to drop in to Zecora’s and see if she can learn zebra alchemy yet.”

“Well, I’m often away from home,” interjected the blonde pegasus. “It would make my life much easier if I could just brew all the elixirs I need myself. Sadly, it looks like I still have a long way to go. So, how did you manage to get this deep into the forest?”

“Well... I was looking for herbs because one of Nurse Redheart’s patients was pulled into poison joke by a... Pigasus!” Suddenly remembering, Carrot Top ran past the two pegasi and back towards the shrubs. The ground was littered with broken twigs, but of the pig, only a splatter of blood and a few feathers remained. The farmpony searched the area frantically, kicking up some of the timber.

“Where is he? They couldn’t... swallow him whole, could they? No, that doesn’t make any sense...”

She stopped when Cloud Kicker put an armoured hoof on her shoulder. “Relax. I’m sure he is ok. I thought I saw a pig when I was diving... Pigasus? Seriously? Anyway, he probably escaped in the confusion and is hiding somewhere now. You were escorting him home, weren’t you? You’ll just have to find him again. Try to find the spot where you met him and...”

She paused, surprised, as Carrot Top slumped in the middle of the path. Her curly mane actually seemed to deflate a little. “I’m hopeless. Could you take me home, please?”

The two pegasi stood over her with worried expressions. Blossomforth gave her a reassuring smile. “Hey, don’t give up like that. Escort missions are always hard until you get the hang of them. You just need to get some practice. And some better armour probably. Yours is ruined. Is that a parasprite swatter?” She reached behind the farmpony and picked her discarded weapon from the ground. Carrot Top took it from her and stuffed it into her bag.

Cloud Kicker used the moment when her companion’s mouth was full and took over the conversation. “You really should find something better to fight with. At least an axe or something. It’s just a few bits and it saves you a lot of trouble until you get tougher...” She trailed off, staring into space just above Carrot Top’s head.

Carrot herself looked up, surprised. “Is there something wrong?”

There was a soft clang of metal as Cloud Kicker applied hoof to face. “You... haven’t chosen a class. You have had no training at all, no skills. No wonder you got hurt. And you don’t have a hearthstone to go home with either?” Sighing, Cloud Kicker opened her wing, gesturing for Carrot Top to get up. “Come on. We’ll help you get back to the village. Just keep to the trail and don’t attract any predators or anything.”

“Why would I do such a thing?” asked Carrot as she stood up. The reassurance gave her enough strength to get up at least.

“Oh, I don’t know. But you wouldn’t believe what I have had to put up with while doing escorts. Now, let’s move. Unless you want to fight these wolves all over again?”

She pointed at the ground, where some of the smaller twigs were beginning to twitch. Carrot Top shuddered. “They... they have that ‘unfulfilled destiny’ thing too?”

Cloud Kicker shrugged. “Nah, apparently they could always do that. Let’s hurry now. You don’t need us to carry you?”

“No.” Carrot took a deep breath and shook her head. “I’m OK.”

Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

“...Anyway, teaming up with somepony helps a lot early on,” said Blossomforth as they walked down the forest path. She had spent the last ten minutes discussing the finer points of choosing a class. ”Is there nopony who could help you? I know Twilight Sparkle and her group are often away – that and they have more important quests now. But there are others.”

Carrot Top shook her head. “Bon Bon does some part-time adventuring, but besides that, I don’t know.”

“How about Big Macintosh?” suggested Cloud Kicker.

“He doesn’t do quests. Too busy on the farm with Applejack away so often.”

“Ah, right... Rose?”

Carrot Top chuckled. “Oh, she does adventure. With Lily and Daisy. When they can find a stallion to do any actual fighting. They wanted to start their own guild, called themselves Flower Power. But it turns out they aren’t very warlike. They didn’t talk before choosing classes and ended up as a trio of healers. I don’t know if they found two more members to actually register.”

“Berry Punch?” said Blossomforth. Cloud Kicker took a moment to pre-emptively charge into the nearby shrubs, taking out some overconfident monster that was about to jump out. It was the third since they started walking and the two mares didn’t even stop talking this time.

“Opened a new inn in town. Haven’t you seen it?”

“We are mostly out of town nowadays... Ambrosia?”

“Busy working at new building sites.”

“Blueberry?”

“Works on my farm now.”

“What about Lyra?”

Carrot Top rolled her eyes. “Gone to the human lands. She got turned into a human, can you imagine? I still can’t understand why she would do that. What is so special about having hands, especially when you’re a unicorn?”

Cloud Kicker walked behind Blossomforth. “Well, I could think of a few uses for hands... if you want to apply pressure precisely, or reach somewhere, where a hoof won’t...”

Without turning, Blossomforth kicked with her hind leg, hitting Cloud Kicker’s armoured shoulder with a loud ‘clang’. Despite the white coat covering her skin, she managed to turn fuchsia. Carrot Top facehoofed. With Cloud Kicker, such random inappropriateness was only a matter of time. She still remembered the last time the pegasus dropped in to buy some carrots from her...

“Hey! What was that for? I didn’t say anything dirty!” Cloud Kicker protested with mock indignation.

“But you meant it,” answered Blossomforth, clenching her teeth.

“How would you know? Unless you are the one with a dirty mind here?”

Eager to change the topic, Carrot Top interrupted.“Cloud Kicker? I’m curious. How did you do that cutting wings thing before?”

The pegasus walked towards her and spread her left wing, presenting it to the farmpony. On closer inspection, the pinion looked slightly thicker and longer than usual. The colour was identical to the rest of the wing, but the texture was off. It was much smoother, not like a quill at all...

“A wing blade? Like the ones Royal Guards use?”

Cloud Kicker beamed.“Better than that. That’s triple hardened tornado cumulonimbus. Only Wonderbolts use these. They have to be harvested from an actual, natural tornado in the wild weather areas and then forged by expert pegasi smiths. You could shave a dragon with it.” She gave a couple of energetic flaps with the wing, causing the farmpony to flinch away.“It loses on reach compared to mouth and hoof blades, but it gives me flexibility – I can easily strike in all directions, turn or use all my legs. Plus, they’re stylish.”

“Where did you get them?”

“A gift from my family. I guess it no longer matters if you’ve joined the army or not when you’re a hero of Equestria. And technically I’m doing the same as the other Kickers do now, only with less taking orders. Once I hit exalted reputation with Canterlot, dad pulled some strings to get them for me.”

They reached the top of a small hill. Blossomforth pointed towards the Ponyville belltower, already visible over the tree tops. “Well, we’re almost home. Will you find your way from here, or do you need any more help?

Carrot Top considered the question. Getting lost was no longer a problem, it seemed. She looked around and realised she had passed this spot while gathering herbs before, except she was taking the path south-west... “Wait a moment... That path leads towards a cave. This is where the Ursa live, isn’t it?”

Cloud Kicker nodded. “Yeah. about the only reason for guys like us to appear here. We managed to beat Ursa Minor last week. I suppose she is already back... From what I know, you can’t kill a celestial beast for good. Perhaps we should come here tomorrow? Once everypony knows what to do when she goes after random ponies or knocks the main tank flying, it’s just a matter of not standing in front when she roars... that and taking her down before her mother wakes up. I don’t think there’s a guild in Equestria that could take on Ursa Major yet.”

Carrot Top gave her a quizzical look.“But... why attack her in the first place? She doesn’t normally hunt outside the forest. Also, isn’t she just a baby?”

Cloud Kicker shrugged. “Treasure, I guess. Big monsters always have treasure and we need the best gear to protect Equestria.”

“Why would a bear collect treasure?”

“She doesn’t. But her lair is littered with gear from all the adventurers that failed to beat her and some of it is still usable.”

There was no arguing with such infallible logic.

“Yes, I have seen a ...” Carrot Top stopped rapidly, causing Blossomforth to bump into her from behind.
“The Horde tried to attack her today, but they were beaten. I saw them retreat! One of them killed me...”

Blossomforth gasped. Cloud Kicker whistled. She put a hoof over Carrot Top’s shoulder. “Whoa... first death too? You really did have a manure day today. Guess we will escort you all the way home. Or better yet, to the inn. You look like you need a drink. I’m paying.”

“N... no, thank you.” stammered Carrot Top. “I need to go to the farm and check if everything has been ok in my absence. And I need to visit the hospital and bring Redheart these herbs...” In truth, she didn’t want the pegasus to buy her anything. A drink or two might sound pretty innocent, even from Cloud Kicker. But after what she had experienced that day, it would be a painful reminder of her own lack of money. Having suddenly lost any desire to talk, she walked the rest of the way at a brisk pace.

***

The rest of the way home proved thankfully uneventful. Carrot Top thanked the two friends for their assistance and parted ways as soon as she reached the edge of the farmlands.She would go to town and deliver the herbs to Nurse Redheart, but first she needed to get out of this outfit. And catch something to eat. Anything.

Walking through the yard, she noticed the lemonade stand now fully set up next to Vinyl Scratch’ mobile workshop. A unicorn stallion in mage robes was buying from the stand while his two companions waited, one of them tied to a large pig. The image reminded Carrot Top that she needed to hurry.

Without even stopping to check on her farm hooves’ progress, she went into the house, throwing her suit, hat and saddlebags onto the couch and heading to the kitchen. A few seconds later, she gave a loud groan of exasperation. The fridge was empty.

***

Carrot Top trotted through the streets of Ponyville, muttering angrily under her breath. The day had started nice enough, but then went steeply downhill. Blossomforth’s healing might have removed any physical damage, but the farmpony was still tense and tired. Getting lost, running into a tree, running into a Horde warband and getting brutally murdered, walking right into a pack of timber wolves and losing the pig she was supposed to be escorting, finally getting scolded for entering the forest unprepared and needing help to even get home. Some adventurer she was. And thanks to somepony’s irresponsible appetites (she was too tired to check whether it was one of her farm hooves or one of her wackier friends dropping in without a warning) she was also hungry. That did wonders to her mood.

She checked her bag and quickly counted the money. Nurse Redheart paid her twice what she had got from Vinyl Scratch, but she still had her beekeeper’s outfit to repair. What would be left didn’t justify the day’s shenanigans. Carrot Top sighed. She was too hungry to run calculations now. How did those powerful adventurers got all these treasures? Oh, right. Attacking celestial bears. None of that mattered now. Carrot Top closed the bag and headed for the town centre. She would use the cash to buy herself a meal and then think of a better way of earning money.

Ponyville centre was bustling with activity, more so than usual because of the weekend. A crowd of creatures of all shapes and sizes gathered around the newly-built Ponyville bank. Another group sat in a circle in front of Sugarcube Corner, watching their two friends duel. As the loser, a night elf druid, left the circle, a blue-robed unicorn got up to take his place. A single pegasus, one of the few here that were not wearing any armour, was dancing on top of a large mailbox, apparently oblivious to her surroundings. There was something wrong with that picture, but Carrot Top didn’t have the time to ponder it now. Instead she went past the mailbox and into a building she knew to be the new inn in town. It was high time she found a moment to visit and see how Berry was doing. As she was entering, Carrot looked up in brief surprise – the inn sign was shaped like a berry bush with a purple boxing glove on a spring dangling from it.

The inside was hotter than she expected, and slightly stuffy. Not only was the bar full of customers, mostly pony adventurers, but there was a large stove blazing in the very centre of the room. Several ponies were sitting on the floor around it, surrounded by cooking implements. Carrot Top looked for a place to sit, but found all the tables taken. There were Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth talking to some other pegasi in one corner, another group of apparent beginners in the other. Closer to the window she saw Twilight Sparkle, who was sharing a table with an armoured unicorn and a blank flank filly barely visible from between the bags of survey equipment. They were engaged in some sort of heated discussion. The air was filled with smoke and the buzz of multiple conversations.

“You know, Blossomforth, they say when you work for the Bronze Dragonflight, they sometimes turn you into a human so you can do covert missions for them. We could try out those hand thingies...”

“You can’t be a paladin. You’d have to be a pegasus. There are no unicorn paladins.”

“No? What about Shining Armour?”

“He doesn’t count. He’s an NPC. And he’s Celestia’s captain of the guard. He doesn’t have to follow the rules.”

“You mean, those dragons built some sort of... illusion beacons that could direct his attack elsewhere and you went back in time to stop them? To make sure Ponyville would burn!?”

Carrot Top ignored the noise and headed straight for the bar. If she couldn’t find a place to sit, she might decide for a take-away instead. Berry Punch was standing behind the bar, wiping some glasses.

“Oh, hello Carrot Top. How are things?” She looked at her with a critical eye. “Looks like you’ve had a rough day. Do you want something to drink?”

Carrot Top considered the question. “No, just something to eat. Something filling.”

The barmaid turned around and pulled a bag of hay from under the counter. She put some into a deep plate and set it in front of the farmpony, then dived under the counter again to produce a small stool. Carrot Top bit into her food and started chewing.

“Whoa, Blossom, you don’t have to be so enthusiastic! No need to be so... vocal.”

“A lot of stuff has changed this year... maybe it will become possible for unicorns to be paladins later.”

“My brothers and sisters were right. If Ponyville hadn’t burned when it did, Applejack would have stayed on the farm. Then Night Sky would have won.”

“What!? ... wait. Yes... you’re right. Even if we went to that quest, she would have been busy with the harvest. And without a second tank, we would have wiped on Blooddiver. There would be nopony to stop the ritual on time...”

Finally finishing her meal, Carrot Top could now take a better note of her surroundings. Immediately, her curiosity outweighed her bad mood. “Eh... Berry Punch? What’s with this stove?”

The barmaid turned with a scowl. “Adventurers. No matter what I put on the menu, there’s always somepony trying to cook for themselves. After the third idiot tried to light a campfire in the middle of the inn, I decided it will be safer like this.”

“And the sign?”

“Gnome subcontractors. There was a misunderstanding. I asked them to put my name on it and they asked if they could make it shaped like berry punch. They promised to correct it, but then got busy with some new project. I should send somepony to look for them, actually. Say, you don’t know of anypony going to Ironforge?”

Carrot Top shook her head. “Not me, that’s for sure.” She looked at the empty plate. “How much is it?”

Just at this moment another group entered the inn. Berry Punch turned towards the new customers, waving absent-mindedly towards a menu displayed on the wall. Carrot Top’s eyes followed the motion up. Then her jaw dropped.

“What the...”

The new customers were quick to buy, leaving with a bag of take-away. Carrot Top nearly pounced at Berry Punch to get to her before somepony else could get her attention. “What is with these prices!? They start at reasonable, but the ones at the bottom of the list are just ridiculous!”

The barmaid grinned. “Adventurers.” That made some sort of twisted sense. High level adventurers were ridiculously rich.

“But why would they pay 1 gold 80 for an apple?”

Berry Punch shrugged. “Only for the best apples. Some food is more nutritious, some drinks are better for recovering your mana. They don’t really care for the taste. If it can keep them on their hooves in the middle of the dungeon...”

Now it was Carrot Top that was grinning, so widely that it made Berry Punch take a nervous step back.
“So, say... a nice, nutritious carrot cake would sell just as well as that cherry pie you have on the menu? You must be importing cherries. Only one farmer sells them here and he doesn’t have much. And it seems to be your family recipe. Since your family works on the farm, it must mean you do the baking yourself here. If you take my carrots instead... I can bake for you. You will cut the transportation costs and have more time for yourself.”

Berry Punch looked her in the eyes, her easy-going demeanour suddenly replaced by business-like seriousness. “You might have a point. The Cakes are too busy to bake for me too and I am getting seriously overworked here. But don’t expect too much. My supplier is still using her normal prices so I would hardly be cutting costs if...”

“Berry, I saw that bag the last group took. By these prices it was 3 gold at least. You are now a serious businessmare. How valuable does it make your free time?”

Just at this moment another customer entered the door. Berry Punch put a hoof on Carrot Top’s shoulder. “We are certainly onto something here. But we need some peace and quiet. My home after work?”

“Sounds ok.”

***

Carrot Top finished a walk around the farm and stopped in the main yard. It was early morning, but the lemonade stand and Vinyl Scratch’ table were already there. Seeing the first group of adventurers approaching, one of them accompanied by a rather drowsy pig, Carrot Top sat on a bench next to the two stands. A small sign with a yellow exclamation mark was set beside it.

“Say, you guys look like you are headed towards the edge of Everfree. Since you are headed there anyway, would you be interested in earning a couple extra coins? We have almost finished our harvest, but one of my farm hooves has taken a day off and we need the carrots harvested from the field next to the forest. I need them here before anything comes out of Everfree and eats them.”

She had already prepared the first shipment of cakes for Berry Punch. She would deliver them as soon as she made sure everything was in order. As the adventurers left the farm, enthusiastic about their first “quest”, the farmpony smiled. There was a long road ahead of her if she was to save the farm, but now she had a direction. She knew what she was doing. Honest work for honest pay was her way, not risking life and limb for stuff belonging to somepony else. She strapped herself to the delivery cart and left towards Ponyville, filled with a new sense of purpose.

She was about to enter the town proper when another vehicle overtook her on the road. It was a strange contraption, all gears and pipes, whirring and belching smoke. It was driven by a pair of short green creatures, both sporting identical, smug smiles.

Author's Note

So, there you have it, chapter 5, and with it the ending of the first story arc. This is where the first draft of the story ended. I have since been persuaded to continue to story, so there will be more, but I have to write it first.

Since most of my evenings are now taken by other projects (Mostly helping Mindblower with brainstorming for his massive rewrite of "Envy and Arrogance"), it will probably take me a while to come up with the next chapter, but rest assured, it will eventually appear.

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

“This is the last one,” said Carrot Top, setting a tray on the table. Berry Punch looked over the carrot cakes, looking for any faults. Finding none, she nodded with approval. Opening one of the cupboards, she produced a small bag of coins, which she tossed towards the waiting farmpony.

Carrot Top caught the bag in her mouth and dropped it into her saddlebags. Giving a last look to the large kitchen of the inn, she smiled at her new best customer.
“See you tomorrow,” she said, loading a stack of empty trays onto her back and walking out through the back door to where she had left her cart. Dumping her burden into the cart, she strapped herself in and pulled onto the main street.

Two green creatures were still there, unpacking their luggage around their strange vehicle. There was a tent already set up, as well as a small stand. Curious, Carrot Top pulled in towards the front. One of the creatures walked up to her, while his friend left towards the inn.
“Howdy there, customer. What can I do you for?” He smiled, wider than should have been possible for a humanoid.

Carrot Top stopped as close as her cart allowed, peering over the makeshift counter.
“Good day to you. I’m Carrot Top. And what are you selling here?”

The creature extended a hand, shaking her hoof. ”Pleased to meet you, Miss Top. I’m Screed and my partner over there is Legassi. We are travelling goblin entrepreneurs. And as for what we sell...” He looked around and back towards his strange machine. “We haven’t decided yet. Once we arrive at a new place, we run a small market research to see what will sell. Then we modify our little mobile factory here to produce whatever is needed.”

The farmpony gave a closer look to the vehicle. The largest central part looked like a large barrel, but with all the pipes, vents and cogwheels sticking out of it, it was impossible to guess at its actual purpose.

“A... mobile factory?” she asked, eyeing the goblin with disbelief. He only smiled.

“Yup, a real treasure she is. All the customer might need, it can produce... after some tweaking, of course. We keep modifying it as we travel. When we first got it, it was some sort of industrial juicer. We took it from our unicorn business partners that we... well, they were forced to close their business, sadly, and we got the machine as payment for the money they owed us. Since then, the Creed-Legassi mobile factory has been a distillery, a forge, a mining grinder, a lathe...”

Carrot Top kept listening, her eyes growing larger and larger. She had seen some examples of modern engineering, but this was more than she had thought possible. Trying to find anything to say, she grabbed onto the last word she heard. “A lathe? What were you selling?’

“Unicorn horns,” said a voice behind her. She gasped and jumped up, almost upturning her cart. The other goblin had just exited the inn, a large bag of foodstuffs balanced in his arms.

“...What!?” the farmpony gasped, trying to wrap her head around what she had heard.

Screed turned dark brown on the face. “Lagassi! When will you stop thinking with your stomach and start using your head!” He turned to Carrot Top, quickly going from shouts to urgent whisper. “Not real unicorn horns, of course, don’t panic, miss. They were... narwhal horns. We used the lathe to cut them to the right shape.”

”But... what for?” stuttered Carrot Top. Why would anyone buy fake unicorn horns?

The goblin seemed to shrink under her gaze. “Decorative purpose?” he tried. Seeing that the farmpony’s gaze wasn’t softening, he hesitated. “A paying customer is a paying customer. Why would I care what they do with my merchandize after they give me the money?”

Carrot Top pushed into his personal space, pressing a hoof to his chest. “You should. I’m not stupid. You’ve been ripping somebody off. You haven’t sold anything in this town yet, and I already feel like I should be calling the guards on you.”

She was interrupted by Screed grabbing her leg. He was much stronger than his frame suggested. Pushing her slowly away, he hissed: “And what will you tell them? There is nothing left for you to use as proof...” Just as suddenly as it appeared, his snarl was gone, replaced by the smug smile he had started the conversation with. He took a deep breath and shook his head. “Well, if you really wanna know, we were ripping off evil wizards. Once you guys appeared, there were a lot of magic practitioners interested in how your magic works, some less scrupulous than others. We saw the opportunity for profit, and it’s not like they didn’t deserve it, right? All we needed to do was hire some help to do the hunting for us and be long gone when our customers had finished experimenting. Cheating villains is what heroes do all the time.”

Pulling her leg out of the goblin’s grasp, Carrot Top stared into his face, frowning.”You expect me to believe that you two would have the courage to cross a bunch of evil wizards?”

“Why not?” It was Lagassi who spoke this time, peering out of the tent. “They aren’t the types to travel a lot. At worst they send some adventurers after us, and everybody knows how well that works.”

Just at this moment a shadow fell on the stand. Carrot Top turned her head and froze. A powerful armoured figure was standing above her. It was one of the Dreanei, huge and muscular, clad head to toe in spiky black armour. There were blue lights glowing from the slit of his helmet and as he brushed past Carrot Top, the pony felt a touch of cold that chilled her to the bone, without ever quite touching her coat. The Dreanei grabbed Creed by the collar and picked him up, holding him level with his face. In the corner of her eye, Carrot Top saw some city guards shifting nervously, not acting yet, but moving closer just in case. She heard the armoured figure whisper something, in a voice that seemed to have a hint of howling arctic wind to it.

To her surprise, Creed didn’t stop smiling. He just whispered something back and after a moment, pressed something small into the giant’s free hand. For a moment nobody moved. Then, slowly, the Dreanei dropped the goblin back to his feet. Turning around, he walked away towards the airship tower. Carrot Top stared in astonishment.”What did you tell him?”

Creed smiled at her with superiority. “One of our dissatisfied customers just made a typical blunder of sending an adventurer to do his revenge for him. You can hear some spirited speeches about honour, duty and all that, but that’s good for knights of the realm. The adventurers, they only fight for three things; gold, reputation and unique equipment. Now, as a merchant, I have gold, much more than the wizard in question. After all, I have his gold too. What I had to give away here was actually much less than I had got out of that bargain. Being a goblin, I also have connections; getting on my good side can provide some good reputation with my associates. As for magic items... well, I suppose the wizard might have some. Them being his most prized possessions, it is unlikely that he would part with them. Still, they can be looted off his corpse.”

Carrot Top’s jaw dropped again. “You... sent him back to the wizard that hired him?”

The goblins chuckled. “That’s what we always do,” said Lagassi. “Serves him well for being an idiot. Never send an adventurer at someone who can beat his price with your own money.”

This was enough for Carrot Top. She pulled back, getting her cart back on the road. “Um... thanks for the words of wisdom. See you... tomorrow, I guess.” She quickly ran down the road. She needed to get away from those two weirdoes.

You are now [neutral] with Gadgetzan

***
The farm was full of activity, as had been the case for the last couple of days. The two stands set up by Vinyl Scratch and the local kids were still there, and by the look of it, enjoyed a steady flow of beginner adventurers. Carrot Top ignored them. They were potential customers, but not the high level customers she needed. The one exception was what looked like a very ornamental clump of shrubbery arguing with Blueberry next to the barn.

“Five... gold? But that’s a lot of money... It didn’t use to cost that much...”

Blueberry didn’t seem moved. “Boss’ orders. Adventurers get adventurer prices. That’s how everypony charges these days.”

Carrot Top walked closer to the pair. Peering through the multicolour leaves and twisting vines, she could see some green fabric underneath. She could also spot a yellow wing sticking out. “Oh, hello Fluttershy. What seems to be the matter?”

The druid stepped back, rubbing her hooves together nervously. “Well... I wanted to buy the food for my animals... like I always do... but Blueberry says the prices have changed...”

Carrot Top gave a deep sigh. Looking closely at the pegasus, she noticed that her attire also contained pieces of stone. What had at first glance seemed to be an antlered helmet turned out to be an elaborate flower pot with a very gnarly plant growing out of it. Why anypony would wear something like that and to battle, no less, the farmpony could only guess at.

“Well, yeah,” said Carrot Top. “This is what everypony does nowadays. But you are a successful adventurer now, aren’t you? Travelling the world, saving Equestria from monsters, discovering hidden treasures. Five gold isn’t a big deal for you anymore.”

Fluttershy didn’t seem convinced. “B... but if I’m... a...”

The farmpony interrupted her. “You also buy more from us than before, don’t you? I bet you have some interesting new pets that need taking care of. How do you manage to do this while adventuring?

The change of topic had the expected result of relaxing Fluttershy a bit. “Oh yes, I have made a lot of new friends.” She poked the side of her flower pot helmet and a particularly tangled part of it turned out to be a bird’s nest – the animal peered out staring at Carrot Top over its owner’s brow.
“And you are right. It really takes more and more effort to take care of them all. But now that I’m a druid, there are some young ponies willing to learn about animals... and they help while I am away.”

“So,” continued Carrot Top,“you surely want to get the best food available for them? We do have less expensive vegetables we sell to ponies that don’t adventure. But the most expensive ones are also our best, the juiciest and most nutritious. With you being a hero and everything, you can afford to get the very best for your pets.”

“Well... if you put it that way...”

“Let me see that shopping list of yours,” insisted Carrot Top. Pulling at an end of a long list she saw sticking out of Fluttershy’s saddle bag, she unrolled it in the air, pressing the top of it to the barn door with her hoof. “Let me see... for five gold, I can provide you with all this and have it delivered to your home. And if you pay in advance, we can keep delivering food regularly while you are away. This would be another chore off your head. How does that sound?”

She turned towards the druid with a smile. Fluttershy hesitated for a moment before nodding her head. “Yes... that would be good, I guess.”

“Great! Wait here for a moment and we will get it all packed up for you.” Carrot Top rushed towards the barn, taking just a moment to stop next to Blueberry. “We need the money, but a happy customer will bring more money tomorrow,” she whispered, smiling.

***

The sun had barely risen as Carrot Top started on her way to Ponyville. The deal she managed to get from Fluttershy had been a very good way to start a week. There was still a lot of work to do, but between her and Berry Punch things were finally starting to look up. This was her way to earn money, honest work and business, not risking life and limb in monster-infested forests. Now, if only she could find a way to grow vegetables a bit faster...

She was so lost in thought, it took her a moment to notice a smell in the air. It was coming from Ponyville and it was definitely cake. But she was some distance away from Sugarcube Corner and who else would be baking at this hour?

Her questions were answered once she entered the street in front of the Berry Punch Inn. The goblins’ stand was already open and a line of adventurers was formed in front of the counter. One of the green creatures, probably Lagassi, though Carrot had a problem telling them apart, looked her way and waved.

“Oh, hey there, pony lady! We’ve finished our market research and this time we’re making an oven!”

Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

“Can you believe it? Right in front of your door! And they copied my recipe too!” Carrot Top paced furiously in front of the counter. Berry Punch watched her for a moment before slumping onto a stool and turning her gaze outside.
“That’s life. It’s called competition. It’s not like your family recipe is a trade secret or anything.”

“Well, it should be!” snapped Carrot. Now she was angry at herself for not thinking of it earlier. Then again, a carrot cake is a carrot cake. How would she even prove anything? She followed Berry’s gaze outside; a short line of customers was waiting in front of the goblins’ vehicle. The first adventurer in line, a bulky, blonde human, exchanged some goods with Creed before pulling off the dented chestplate of his armour and handing it to the goblin. Creed turned to put the piece of armour inside one of the slots of the machine and soon the air was filled with the sound of fast-paced pounding. Carrot Top gave Berry Punch a quizzical look.

“A mechanical blacksmith,” explained the barmare. “That contraption of theirs does everything. Including repairing armour. This is why some of the customers come to them - they are only in town for a moment and they like to have all services in one place.”

“Can we do the same?” asked Carrot Top. “If they keep going to them instead of you...”

Berry Punch stopped her with a wave of a hoof. “It’s not as bleak. First, adventurers don’t like standing in lines either.” She pointed at the goblins’ stand, where Creed’s machine was just finishing repairs on some unicorn’s robes. “So its not like they will all just go to them. Second, we have one more thing that they don’t.”

She pointed at the floor between the counter and the stove and just on cue, somepony appeared there out of nowhere. An armoured pegasus, initially translucent but quickly gaining substance, looked around the inn before heading straight to Berry Punch. “The usual,” he said, turning around and tugging at his saddle bags, emptying their contents onto the counter.

The barmare sweeped with her foreleg, taking all the items behind the bar before Carrot Top could take a good look. She then gave the warrior a small bag of food, along with a few small coins. The pegasus gathered them all up and ran out of the inn, spreading his wings.

Carrot Top peered behind the counter and then looked at Berry Punch in utter confusion. “Twigs, pieces of bone and... an eyeball?” She stepped back, her face getting slightly green beneath the fur. “Care to explain why you buy trash from your customers? And you pay for it better more than my cakes are worth.” The last sentence was spoken with a strong hint of indignation.

“Oh, most of it is junk,” replied the barmare. “I suppose the twigs are a trophy from some plant monster, but only good for kindling. The bones are completely useless too...”

“Then why?” interrupted the farmpony.
“For two reasons. First, all adventurers expect to sell loot, however ridiculous it is. My inn is ahead by being an attuning point for hearthstones, but if I don’t buy what the adventurers bring in, they will find somepony who does.” She paused, taking a pair of tweezers into her mouth, carefully picking up the disgusting eyeball and dropping it into a jar under the bar. “The second reason,” she continued “is that not all of it is useless. Some of the things they bring in are worthless junk for them, but fetch a good price if you know who to sell them to. And every now and then a pony who was too busy to ever learn how to use the auction house drops in something that makes whole weeks of buying junk worthwhile.”

“So... that.. ugh... eyeball?” Carrot Top tried and failed to keep a straight face.

“Some kind of cockatrice, if I’m not mistaken. Used in making of magical medicines.”

“Magical medicines... that’s it!” For the first time since she entered the inn, Carrot Top smiled.

It was Berry’s turn to be confused. “What are you thinking about?”

“The adventurers want everything in one place, yes? They need to sell their loot, repair armour, get something to eat... and buy some potions and alchemical components, don’t they?”

Berry Punch didn’t look convinced.“Well, some of them are alchemists... there is at least one in every guild.”

“But not everypony is in one, and many are too lazy or too busy to go look for herbs. This could give us the edge, you’ll see. We just need to find a supplier. What do you think about Zecora?”

“Well, she is the best around,” responded the barmaid. “But doesn’t she auction her potions?”

“I’m sure she sells them to customers too,” said Carrot Top. “I know Cloud Kicker buys elixirs from her.”

Berry Punch raised an eyebrow at her.”Not all concoctions are worth putting in the auction house. You sure these are combat elixirs?”

Carrot gave her a look of incomprehension while her brain processed the question. Once it dawned on her who she was talking about, she turned red and facehoofed.

“No matter,” she decided, standing up and going towards the door. “I’ll just have to talk to her. Then we will see.”

Then she went out, leaving Berry Punch in the empty inn. Ten second passed before the farmpony came running back, skidding to a halt in front of the counter and digging her face into her saddle bags.
“I almost forgot. Could you attune a hearthstone for me? I’ve finally got one, but haven’t tried it out yet...”

***

The next morning saw Carrot Top standing between the stands in her yard, a large wooden sign with a yellow question mark planted on the ground next to her. She was watching Vinyl Scratch tinker with her equipment, lost in her own world, as usual. She then looked left towards the lemonade stand. It was now under care of a scrawny pegasus colt named Featherweight; Tiara barely appeared on the farm since the stand had been set up, leaving all the actual work to her “business associates”. The whole business was working pretty well, actually. For a time Carrot had considered selling her goods here as well. Problem was, the stand matched the needs of adventurers going to the outskirts of Everfree - most of them beginners, well below Carrot Top’s target market.

Just like the ones approaching now. A trio of adventurers, two dwarves led by an earth pony whose armour seemed to have been adapted from hockey padding, approached the two stands. All three were covered in tree sap and twigs. They stopped in front of Vinyl, giving her the baiting devices and receiving a couple of coins in return, then moved towards Carrot Top. After a moment of fumbling with their bags, each of the three produced a bucket of carrots.

“Here you are, lady,” said the earth pony, named 4hooves if the name over his head displayed correctly. “We managed to gather everything before anything was eaten.”

Carrot Top reached to her bag, giving her newest part-time workers a couple of coins each. She wondered if they realised, that she actually paid them less than a farm-hoof’s wage for their work. Then again, farm hooves wouldn’t pick up loot.

“So, is there anything else you need from us, lady?” asked one of the dwarves.

The farmpony considered the question. These three looked like they were completely fresh in the business.
“Not right now, no. Have a nice day,” she said. The three nodded and moved towards the lemonade stand, dumping the contents of their bags onto the counter. Carrot Top paid them no further attention, instead turning to look towards Vinyl Scratch. The unicorn was busy at her stand as usual, tinkering on something in her mobile workshop, headphones keeping her in her own private world.

The farm pony walked up to her and tapped on the counter, then waved her hooves in the air to get the DJ’s attention. Vinyl Scratch removed the headphones and looked at her expectantly.
“Yes? Do you need anything?”

“Just looking at what you are working with. You already have working parasprite baiters, but each time I come here, you are working on something. What is it exactly?”

Vinyl Scratch shrugged. “I’m just doing some calibrations. I was wondering if I could adjust the baiter to work on other creatures.”

Carrot Top considered the implications. “So, you could make it work on say... bunnies?”

There was a long moment of awkward silence before the DJ responded.

“You expect me to send adventurers to whack bunnies? Fluttershy would maul me to death. Repeatedly. I think I might make something to keep them away from your crops though.”

The farmpony shuddered, as the words had touched the painful memory of her own demise. “Vinyl...” she hesitated before continuing. “Have you ever died?”

The DJ didn’t seem as shaken at the prospect as Carrot was. “Besides the whole burning to death thing? Yea, I died twice yesterday. Some hordies found their way here while you were in town. This is the reason why we have these guys over.”

She pointed up. Carrot Top followed the gesture of her hoof and only then noticed a pair of small clouds hanging over the edge of the farm. Two pegasi guards were sitting there, both trying to look vigilant - a vain effort, as it was quite obvious they were bored to tears and on the verge of napping.

Carrot Top gritted her teeth. “So now my farm is a war zone, huh? Just great. Ok, let me know if you can figure out the bunny repellant thing, ok?”

“No problem,” said Vinyl Scratch, replacing the headphones around her ears. “It could take me some time, though. Unless I get a druid to help me.”

The farmpony nodded and turned towards the newest group approaching the stands. The three ponies were coming from the direction of the town and more importantly, they were all properly armed and armoured. Carrot remembered seeing them the day before. These would do. She tapped on the wooden sign next to her.

The leader of the group, a magenta stallion whose name displayed as Hard Knocks, stopped in front of Carrot Top. He looked at her expectantly. “Yes, miss? What can we help you with today?”

A warrior, a druid and a wizard. They should do. “Well, today I need to go to the Everfree forest myself, to meet the herbalist Zecora. I was hoping you three could help me get there safely, since you have a bit of experience with the dangers of the forest and everything...”

As one, the three ponies stepped back. There was some uneasy shifting of hooves. The blue unicorn mare at the back of the group was the first to complain. “An escort? I hate escorts.”

“I’ve heard as much,” answered Carrot Top. “From what I’ve been told, nopony likes escorts. That’s why I waited for a group to come by. I wouldn’t ask a single pony to do such a thing. Or an inexperienced one. But you three look like you have seen some fights already. I’m not asking you to fight a dragon or anything. Just escort me down that road to make sure nothing pounces on me along the way, ok?”

Hard Knocks looked between his teammates and Carrot, considering his options. Finally, he made up his mind. “We should be able to do it. I go ahead of the group and check the bushes. You two walk alongside Carrot Top and be ready to shield her. If we avoid stupid mistakes, there should be no trouble.”

***

Carrot Top finished wrapping Hard Knocks’ muzzle with bandages. Behind her, the unicorn wizard was fuming.

“How is it that whoever we try to escort leaves his brain at home? The only way you could have made yourself an easier prey for these timber wolves would have been to season yourself with herbs!”

Carrot Top turned away from the injured warrior and looked up at the angry mare, ears flattening against her head. “I thought I saw a rare herb there... and Hard Knocks had already checked those bushes. I thought they were safe. These wolves just appeared out of nowhere.”

“And so, as usual, Hard Knocks is wrapped like a mummy,” snapped the mage, before turning towards her druid companion. “And as usual, you are out of mana and can’t just heal him?”

The other mare gave an exasperated sigh. “Used it to fend off the wolves and to heal our escortee. Would you rather I hadn’t? Anyway, we better get moving. Or do you want to stand here arguing until the timber wolves return? Come on, the hut is already in sight.”

Taking a deep breath, Carrot Top rose up and started walking. If she never visited Everfree Forest again, it would be too soon. The other ponies quickly followed her, not wanting the farmpony to run into any trouble on the last leg of her trip.

The door of the hut opened before Carrot Top could tap on it, a familiar zebra looking out at the unexpected guests. The farmpony noticed that Zecora was wearing a set of armour, and a rather elaborate one - blue scale mail with large glowing gems set at the shoulders.

The zebra looked at each of the ponies in turn, ending with a long stare at Hard Knocks’ bandaged muzzle.

“Four ponies standing at my door, is my help you’re looking for?”

Author's Note

Finally... I'm sorry, everyone, I didn't realise how long it has been since the last chapter, until I checked it up on Fim. (I had been busy helping a friend with editing his saga, and then got a long writer's block, followed by a spell of laziness. Hopefully, you will not have to wait quite that long for another chapter.

Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

“So, does it mean we’re done here?” Hard Knocks turned to walk away, visibly eager to leave his troublesome charge behind.

Carrot Top turned in his direction. “Hey, don’t you want to get paid first?” she called after him. The mention of money did a good job of stopping the stallion in his tracks.

“Ah, right,” he said sheepishly, coming back to her.

Carrot dug through her bags to retrieve a small bag of coins. The unicorn caught it with her magic and started to divide the coins among her companions.

“So, is that all?” she asked the farmpony.

“Well, for me, yes,” Carrot Top stated, closing her bag.

“Maybe Zecora will have something for us to do?” the druid suggested.

The zebra, who had so far been standing in the door, just looking at the four ponies, smiled.

“It just so happens that I do, I’m working on a special brew. I need some herbs and mushrooms rare, of which most grow south-east of here.”

“So, we need to run around the forest and get you some ingredients. This should be easy,” said Hard Knocks.

The mage smacked him with her staff. “How many times do I have to tell you not to say that?”
she growled at him.

The stallion flinched and glowered at his companion. “Shooting Star! Will you stop doing that!?”

The mage snorted angrily. “Will you stop deserving that? South-east from here... that would be near the old palace ruins, wouldn’t it?”

Zecora gave her a reassuring smile. “The herbs grow in the forest near, spirits of old you need not fear.” Just as the unicorn was about to relax, the zebra’s expression got more serious. “Yet all the same you should beware: those sworn to doom make their homes there.”

Shooting Star closed her eyes with an expression of exasperation. “Cultponies? Seriously? Isn’t it like, the third coven in there this year? Somepony should just burn that accursed place to the ground and be done with it.”

Hard Knocks scratched his chin with a hoof. “I don’t think that would help. They would just move elsewhere. If they always choose the Palace of the Sisters as their stronghold, at least we always know where to find them, right?”

“Couldn’t you do it yourself, Zecora?” asked the druid, pointing at the zebra’s elaborate armor. “You should be more than strong enough to defeat them all by yourself and get your ingredients without any danger.”

Zecora gestured with her head towards the inside of her house. “It’s not the challenge of the attack, but the time to get there and back. My shop and cauldron I cannot leave; I need your help, so I believe.”

Shooting Star stared at her in silence. Then she turned to look at her two companions. “What do you think, Frontier?” she asked the druid.

The mare shrugged. “I don’t really like the idea, but then again this is what we came here for, isn’t it? At least with cultponies we can count on some actual loot. What reward are you offering, Zecora? Anything beyond silver?”

The shaman smiled. “Since with my work you’re helping me, I will reward you handsomely. Trinkets of power to you I’ll bequeath, in disappointment you shall not leave.”

***

It took them five more minutes to finish talking. By the time they left, Shooting Star stopping to check if the names of the herbs had all been noted down on the back of her map, Hard Knocks was already healed and free of the bandages covering his face.

As they were leaving, Frontier stopped and turned to look back towards Carrot Top.
“You have a hearthstone to get home, right?”

Carrot Top responded with a surprised smile. It wasn’t everyday that an adventurer would care about her well-being. Most of the time, they wouldn’t spend more time talking to NPCs (an abbreviation that she knew some of them would translate as “Not Powerful or Capable”) than they needed to learn what they were supposed to recover or punch in the face.

Then the more cynical part of Carrot’s brain started working and the mare sighed, shaking her head.

“Yes, no worries. You will not have to escort me back home.”

Satisfied with the answer, the druid followed her companions and soon disappeared among the trees. Finally Carrot Top was left alone with the zebra shaman.

Zecora was the first to speak. “So tell me please, what do you need? Elixirs, salves, perhaps some mead? On every shelf waits something nice, all at a reasonable price.”

“Actually, I’m looking for a supplier. Berry Punch wants to expand her stock with some potions to attract more adventurers.”

Zecora looked at Carrot Top thoughtfully. The farmpony knew this look - the zebra was running calculations in her head. Finally she spoke. “My potions I already sell. Sometimes I auction them as well. If a bulk discount you wish to see, you’ll need to make it pay for me.”

Carrot Top nodded in agreement. Involuntarily, her smile widened. Now, this was the kind of battle she knew how to fight.

***

When the green film of the hearthstone spell retreated from her eyes, Carrot Top found herself back in Berry’s tavern. She had just enough time to realise that she’d gotten back in one piece when her stomach protested violently against the new transportation method. Eyes bulging, Carrot ran past Berry into the back of the inn, doing what she could to keep her mouth shut for a second more.

When she returned to the main room, still a bit green in the face, she found Berry Punch talking to a scruffy earth pony colt who had just delivered a large box of apples.

“So, Fenway, here’s some coin for your goods. We’re the inn here, for rest, trade, and food. Best in town. Wanna sleep? Rooms are upstairs. Got some junk? Hey, I’ll take it. Thirsty? I keep my best cider special for hard-working explorers. Oh, and if you ever wanna cook on your own, use the stove in the middle there for cooking. No campfires at the premises,” said the bartender.

The colt looked at her with a raised brow. “I have lived in Ponyville all my life. I know how inns work...”

“You’d be surprised at what some ponies come up with,” answered Berry while counting the coins to pay him with. “Anyway, if you could also show me your hearthstone, I could attune it to bring you here. Otherwise, it will keep bringing you to Sweet Apple Acres.”

The colt dug through his bags and handed Berry a smooth oval stone with a blue rune across its surface. The barmare held it between her hooves for a moment, until the rune flashed briefly.”There you go, all set.”

“Gee, thanks. So what now?” asked the colt.

“Well, if you look around town, you should find several ponies that need something done. I think the local guard commander was looking for some adventurers to help him safeguard the edge of Everfree forest. Look for yellow exclamation marks. Also, if you don’t have a map already, get one from the guards when you talk to them. It helps a lot,” Berry finished, winking at him.

“Sure! Thanks, miss,” he said, bounding away, his orange tail vanishing through the bar door in mere seconds.

Berry sighed. “Wish they all stayed as chipper as they start out,” she muttered, glancing at Carrot. “Everything is an adventure when they begin, but when you have to run through the prairie around Appleloosa for the third time...” She paused, only now noticing the shade of Carrot’s face. “Teleportation sickness?”

Carrot just gave her a tired nod.

“This is pretty rare, but I have something for it...” Berry dove under the counter and juggled some bottles for a moment before filling a small mug and setting it in front of the farmpony. “Here, this ought to help.” She watched Carrot Top empty the mug before getting down to business. “So what did she say?”

The farmpony sat in silence, taking deep breaths. When she decided she had recovered sufficiently, she finally responded. “She agrees on your prices, as long as we send some adventurers to her to deliver payment in advance and to bring her products to us. She needs some ponies to go to the forest and look for all the ingredients she doesn’t have time pick herself. She is also willing to buy any low-level magical junk you get from powerful heroes visiting town. And she has some rare alcohols you might want to buy too... but you might need to visit her in person to sample those.”

“That sounds interesting,” said Berry Punch. “I will have to look for somepony to escort me to her hut... as soon as I can figure out how to take a day off here. When is Zecora expecting the first courier? And how often can she prepare something?”

“She said she can send us something daily. Except for Tuesday; it’s a raid day, whatever that means,” answered the farmpony. She stifled a yawn with her hoof. “I think I’d better get going. It’s been a tiresome morning and I still have work to do today.”

Just then another pony with a box of apples on his back entered through the door. Berry Punch sighed and nodded at Carrot. “I think that’s all for today. Have a good day, darling.”

Carrot Top went past the colt and out the door, the barmare staring her lecture anew behind her back.

She walked out to the street and turned in the direction of her home. As she walked, she noticed the goblins’ stall out the corner of her eye. She blinked, shaking her head and trying to convince the curious part of her mind that they didn’t exist, that they weren’t worth her time, but after a moment she exhaled, turned her head, and stole a glance at her rivals.

A few tall, dark figures were standing in front of the stall, covered head-to-toe in black. Obviously human adventurers and not particularly powerful ones, Carrot Top had already learned to recognize that much. What did attract her attention, however, was their gear; light armours, barely more than civilian clothes, not very protective but allowing quick movement; the likewise light weapons, mostly curved knives at their hips; various small tools hanging from their belts.

Carrot Top’s blood ran cold. Rogues.

The citizens of Equestria would never consider such a career, if not for the lack of fingers, so essential for many things a rogue was supposed to be able to do, then for moral reasons. Bashing an enemy over head with a flail was one thing, but to make a career out of robbing others or stabbing them when their backs were turned? That was nopony’s idea of adventure.

For Carrot herself, the reason to be prejudiced was much more personal and all too fresh. She still remembered the pain of a curved blade slashing across her face... She stomped her hoof and shook her head to get rid of the haunting image. Forcing herself to take a closer look, she saw the rogues stop by one of the goblins, talking with him while his colleague handled the ordinary customers. The farmpony saw a series of quick exchanges - each of the humans bringing a mysterious parcel and getting a handful of coins in return.

Looks like a delivery... and not from anywhere near. They must have arrived in one of the blimps from Stormwind. What are they up to? thought Carrot Top.

It was a odd situation, one Carrot Top decided to note for later. As soon as the rogues were finished, they glanced around before vanishing into thin air. One of them just barely missed eye contact with Carrot Top—she tensed as she felt a breeze at her side.

“Hey, ma’am!”

Carrot jumped a meter in the air, but thankfully managed to bite her tongue before she yelped, some portion of her brain realizing that the voice was far too high and squeaky to have come from a would-be assassin. She turned her head toward the source and saw three little fillies standing in front of her—Equestria’s earliest aspiring adventurers, the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

“Wanna flyer?” Scootaloo piped up. Not waiting for a response, she shoved a leaflet in Carrot Top’s face. The first thing she saw was the headline—New, Cheap, Fast And Easy Supplier In Ponyville—Never Waste Gold On Out,Dated Taverns Again!

Before replying (or chasing the Crusaders out of the street, another option she was considering), Carrot Top took a moment to pause and inspect the paper. “Uh...” On the front of it was a crude depiction of the Goblin’s stall, along with its smiling, bug-eyed hosts, as well as some messy mouthwriting depicting its relative location in Ponyville. She couldn’t determine whether the caricatures made the goblins look goofy enough not to take seriously, or an entirely new level of terrifying.

“It’s for the bestest supplier in Ponyville!” Sweetie Belle chirped.

Carrot Top looked at her. “Yeah? Uh-huh. How much’re they paying you?”

“Dunno! We just started today. We’re saving up for some more armor,” Apple Bloom said. She nudged Scootaloo. “Speakin’ of... Scoots, I’m gettin’ real hot. Could we take a break?”

The Crusaders each seemed to be adorned in a mock representation of their sibling or idol’s class: Apple Bloom had a thick helmet covering her cranium and the top of her face, large paper-maché shoulder pads and something that was likely to represent chainmail, but on closer inspection turned out to be a thick, grey sweater. Carrot Top sighed; no wonder she was hot.

The poor farm filly clearly had it the worst of the three. Scootaloo was wearing a simple white shirt, mostly covered by her guild tabard, with a cardboard gorget dangling at the front of it. The blurred spot on the gorget seemed to represent the insignia of the pegasi paladin order; by the look of it it must have been redrawn and erased multiple times in the attempt to get it right. For some reason, the costume was completed by a pair of books strapped to the filly’s front legs at the shoulders.

Sweetie Belle was wearing the most simple attire. Her armour consisted of a blue, hooded cloak worn over her tabard, with a pair of cardboard wings pinned to the back of it. Both the wings and the cloak itself had seen some wear, it seemed Sweetie’s costume had already suffered one of the minor disasters that seemed to follow the crusaders wherever they went.

Carrot’s gaze shifted from filly to filly. “So, you are supposed to be a priest... is this a math schoolbook on your shoulder, Scootaloo?”

The pegasus shifted uncomfortably. “Well, we couldn’t get any real holy books and a dictionary was too heavy...”

“I’m a priest, Scoots is a paladin and Applebloom is a warrior,” explained Sweetie Belle. “That makes us a healer, a damage dealer and a tank, a minimum standard adventuring party... that’s what Twilight said,” she finished with a smile.

“You know, girls,” Carrot began, “if you’ve done so much work and... uh... even made your own leaflets... you ought to ask for half of your payment once you’re half done, just to make sure you aren’t being scammed.”

“You think they would do that?” Sweetie asked, wide-eyed.

Carrot bit her lip. She wanted to spew her guts, but she also knew she had to be a good example for the fillies. “Well... I’m not sure. But better safe than sorry—you wouldn’t want to have your armor delayed because you got short-changed, would you?”

“Oh, I can’t wait to show Topaz once it’s done,” Sweetie mused. “I’m going to be the best-looking priest ever!”

“She could help us with the leaflets, actually,” said Scootaloo with a frown. “How come she’s never here when we do stuff?”

“She said she had some day work. That’s why she’s only free after sunset,” answered Applebloom. “Or maybe she’s a vampony,” she added with a giggle. The two other fillies froze and looked at her strangely.

“Let’s give out more papers!” Scootaloo chirped, something that sounded somewhere between a proposal and an order, before romping off, apparently already forgetting Carrot Top’s advice. Sweetie followed her, and Apple Bloom sighed before lagging behind them.

The farmpony shook her head and headed home for lunch.

***

Three days later Carrot Top walked through the streets of Ponyville, enjoying the evening breeze. The town was still bustling with activity, adventurers running around about various business, the shops opened despite the late hour to keep the customers supplied.

Carrot Top, however, was not there on business. This time she was going to visit the inn as a customer, to finally unwind after a week of frantic work.

She scowled as she saw the goblins’ stand still enjoying a queue of customers at this hour. Turning her back on it, she entered the inn. Instantly, her mood improved. The place was full of customers too, but not so full that she couldn’t find a table. What’s more, there was a dwarf standing over the stove, apparently trying to bake a cake. The smell of pastry was a welcome break from the usual “trying to make random monster bits edible” thing that usually took place there.

Walking up to the counter, Carrot waved at Berry Punch. “I’ll have one soft cider,” she said, taking a seat.

Berry gave her a tired smile before turning towards the taps. Soon the farmpony was enjoying a large tankard of golden liquid standing in front of her.

“A busy day, huh?” asked Carrot Top.

Berry nodded, busy with another customer. Once she had a second free, she answered: “Yeah, your ideas helped a lot. And just in time, it seems. Something happened in Canterlot yesterday and now we have adventurers rushing in from all over Equestria. If you can start baking early, I might take two extra trays tomorrow.”

Carrot’s first reaction was to scowl. She quickly suppressed it, smiling at her best customer. This was exactly what she had wanted.

It’s not like I ever get to sleep late anyway. With this rush of customers, I won’t have to worry about the competition for some time at least. I’d better make the most of it while I can.

A sudden, worrying thought occurred to the farmpony. Leaning onto the counter, she asked: “That thing in Canterlot... it isn’t anything serious, is it?”

“An awful mess, actually... can I have some health potions, please? And a drink.” The voice sounded next to Carrot Top. She turned to see a blue pegasus in slightly damaged priestess robes. The mare’s eyes were a bit unfocused and her voice slightly slurred, as if she had got one drink too many.

Berry dove under the counter to retrieve the goods while the newcomer fumbled with her bags, trying to retrieve her money. It took her a moment to get everything done. When she got her drink, a tankard of soft cider, as Carrot had, she emptied it with a single swig. She then shook her head and smiled towards Carrot.

“So, what exactly happened?” asked the farmpony.

The pegasus was clearly waiting for the question. “Well, nopony knows the full story, but something woke up in there, some ancient spirit of chaos or something, very powerful. Turns out he had been turned into a statue in the royal gardens. Can you believe it? Standing there for centuries, just like that? Anyway, when he woke up, everything got flipped upside down. The Elements of Harmony drove him away, but we still have no idea where he went.”

The pegasus shuddered and gasped with pain, then reached for one of the potions he had just bought and drank it. Carrot Top watched in surprise as the priestess’ coat changed color from blue to green. Suddenly she recognised who she was talking to.

“Blossomforth? I didn’t recognise you. What has happened to you?”

Blossomforth looked at the farmpony, then at Berry Punch, finally looking at her own green hoof. “Oh, that? I dunno what it is... I got it while fighting in the gardens and I can’t seem to dispel it. I think I’ll just have to heal through it until it goes away, but my magic is acting up, so I decided to buy some potions.”

“Fighting in the gardens?” asked Berry Punch. “But you said it happened days ago.”

“It did,” answered the priestess. “So, that spirit of chaos thing ran away and the Elements of Harmony went to track it down, so we can get a larger group to fight it... but the royal gardens remain warped. They are now bigger on the inside, with walls becoming floors and weird monsters lurking in. You can’t even fly in, because the switching up and down makes it easy to crash.”

“Shouldn’t Celestia just burn it then? It’s only a garden,” asked Berry Punch. Another hungry customer attracted her attention before she could get an answer. Carrot Top nodded for Blossomforth to continue.

“Well... the thing is...” Blossomforth shuddered again and her coat turned yellow. She waved her hoof to cast a healing spell on herself. “They don’t know what other surprises might be waiting there. With so much magic the garden might never stop burning or blow up or something. So they’ve just set barrier stones around it and are waiting for some... volunteers to clear out the monsters, sho the guard unicorns can get to work on...” she kept waving her hooves, but this time not to cast a spell, but trying to give shape to a word that escaped her “dishentangling it,” she finally finished.

“So, all these adventurers are willing to go in there?” Carrot Top waved her hoof around the inn.

“Well, as long as the prinshesses are paying...” answered Blossomforth. “We went there with Cloudy and some friendsh today. We got to the very middle and there was that huge, lilac pony with a propeller there... something wash... went wrong... I think I fell through a wall and ended up here. But I talked to them and they are alright, sho I shtayedforadrink.”

She tried to reach for another potion, but the bottle slipped out of her hooves and shattered. Her coat turned orange and she swayed slightly. Carrot Top tried to grab her to make sure she wouldn’t fall and was shocked to feel how hot the priestess’ body was.

“Blossomforth, I don’t think this is going to go away. You have a horrible fever. You must see a...”
Her frantic speech was cut short when she felt a wave of heat spreading over her body. Her lungs hurt and she too swayed slightly.

“Carrotop whyyusoblue,” mumbled the pegasus. Carrot Top looked at her own hooves and saw that indeed they were blue now. Turning around she met the gaze of Berry Punch, who was looking at her with a frightened expression, her coat a similar blue color. Around them, half a dozen patrons had just turned purple. One of them, the dwarf who had been working the stove, looked cross-eyed above his own head, then into the space above Carrot’s.

“Lady...” he started “mind telling me what ‘resplendent immolation’ is?”

***

The graveyard was filled with an angry crowd. Ponies walked around, sometimes walking straight through each other when they weren’t paying attention, the whispered non-speech blurring together into a sound that resembled the wind in a brewing storm.

‘No, it persists through death. If you return now, you will just burn up again.’
‘How is it even possible? It shouldn’t be possible to take it into the city.’
‘They say she was accidently thrown out of the...’
‘Mommy, are we dead?’
‘Yes darling, don’t worry, we are waiting for someone to fix this.’
‘What a waste of time, I’d better get compensated for it’
‘Oh stop whining, we are all in the same boat.’

‘I’m so sorry, Berry,” pleaded Blossomforth. ‘I should have realised sooner, but with the fever I wasn’t thinking straight.”

‘And I’m naturally purple, so nopony noticed until I got to blue,’ answered Berry Punch with a scowl. ‘I guess I should be grateful the inn didn’t burn down... what a mess...’

‘What a mess indeed.’

It was Screed. He stomped angrily towards the three mares, his hands balled into fists. ‘I knew some inns can get quite pestilential when the health and safety inspector isn’t looking, but I wasn’t expecting a case of contagions spontaneous combustion! Your low standards have put the entire town in jeopardy!’

If Berry Punch weren’t translucent white at the moment, she would have turned deep fuchsia. ‘How dare you!? It wasn’t my fault! It was brought in by a customer...’

‘So now you will blame your customers for it?’ asked the goblin through gritted teeth. ‘Some host you are.’

Carrot Top noticed the crowd growing silent, more and more ghostly ears turning towards the conversation.

This is bad... if he keeps talking like this, it won’t matter if he makes much sense...

Fortunately, before Screed could say anything else, Blossomforth walked up to him, throwing off her hood to draw attention to herself.

‘It just so happens that it was my fault. I appeared in the inn by accident, but this could be avoided if I had payed more attention. The owner of the establishment is not to blame.’

There was some nodding in the crowd. Screed didn’t seem taken aback. ‘Ah, this is understandable. After all, most hearthstones around here are attuned to the inside of the inn. Any moment someone like you could appear there from thin air. The place being full of people and ponies increases the risk. Luckily, all the services the place offers are available elsewhere, so nobody has to stick there and put himself in danger.’

This got a number of whispers in the crowd. Blossomforth stared at the goblin in shock and anger, Berry Punch and Carrot Top running to her sides, their expressions mirroring hers.

‘Are you serious!?’ growled Berry Punch.

Screed turned to face her, his face contorting with anger. ‘I’m dead! I have been burned alive! I can be as serious as I want! And since everybody here is a victim just like I am...’ he pointed his finger at Blossomforth, ‘and you have admitted to being responsible, I guess it will be ok for everybody to demand a compensation!’

The crowd exploded with voices. Some were shocked, but Carrot Top heard many that approved of the idea. The small free space that had formed around Blossomforth started shrinking rapidly.

Then there was a blast of light that erupted from Ponyville and spread in all directions, washing over the graveyard before dissolving in the distance. Everybody froze for a moment and in the silence, the non-voice of the grave site’s spirit guardian could be heard.

‘The error has been corrected. You are now free to return to your lives.’

As one, the ghostly shapes rushed towards the town. Carrot Top tried to stand in Screed’s way to finish the argument, but the goblin just ran through her. ‘No time to talk! I need to get back to my store!’

This argument seemed to work on Berry too. She rushed towards the inn, fearing of what might happen to it in her absence. Carrot Top and Blossomforth had no choice but to follow suit.

***

It was late at night when Carrot Top finally got back to the farm. She had a headache, her throat hurt from arguing with Berry’s patrons and she still wasn’t sure if she was going to have to get up early or not.

I forgot to ask Berry if she will want that extra tray or not... darn. That something like this had to happen today...

She wanted nothing more than to just get to bed, fall asleep and forget about the whole day. As she approached the farm, however, she noticed that the light was still on in her office.

Who would still be up at this hour?

Silently, the farmpony walked towards the office door. She pushed the knob and walked in. Inside, there was Blueberry, sleeping with her head on the desk. She awoke with a start at the sound of Carrot’s hooves.

“Blueberry, what are you doing here? You should be at home already,” asked Carrot Top. Just as she did, it occurred to her that Blueberry lived in town. Not getting home on time had probably saved her from the whole mess that unfolded.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep here. I was just waiting for you because I need to talk,” said the other mare. As she woke up, her expression got more serious.

Dreading another problem at the end of an already lousy day, Carrot Top asked: “What do you need to talk about?”

Blueberry walked from behind the desk and breathed deeply. “We have some stuff missing from our cellar. I thought I had just misplaced something but I ran an inventory today and we are missing four crates full of carrots. Somepony... or someone has been stealing from us.”

Author's Note

Credit to my good friend ~~Applejack~~ Nonagon for finding the time to proofread this despite a very busy schedule.

Also credit to Mindblower for writing the first draft of this chapter - while I only used a small part of it in the end, it pulled me out of a terrible writer's block - without Mindblower, it would probably have taken me another month to write this.

Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

Three days later...

The cellar was covered in shadows, the sunlight coming through the entrance the only source of illumination. Carrot Top cautiously descended the steps. She stooped low to examine a thin line hidden in the shadow of the last step. A faint sound of a bell was heard when she nudged it.

I was right... someone did step on it.

Down in the cellar, Carrot Top walked to the far shelf, where bags of different foodstuffs were stored. All the while her ears kept moving around, searching for unfamiliar sounds. She briefly stopped to look into the corner where the carrots were stored in large wooden boxes. Seeing nothing there, she approached the shelf, taking a packet of flour.

Without warning, the farmpony spun on the spot, throwing the packet in the air and bucking it before it landed. The cellar filled with white powder.

“There you are, thief!” shouted Carrot Top, pointing at a very silly looking, scruffy human, now clearly outlined by the flour sticking to his dark clothes.

The man stared at the fuming farmpony, then towards the exit. Carrot Top couldn’t help but notice the box of carrots he had strapped to his back. “What now?” he asked.

“Well, it just so happens we have some guards on the premises,” answered Carrot Top. “You will confess to your crime and then tell them who you were stealing my carrots for.”

“I stole them for myself. I was hungry,” said the rogue with a smile.

Carrot Top’s jaw clenched. “Then there must be a bunch of hungry thieves around, because I have been losing lots of carrots and only carrots for the last few days. You’re working for Screed and Legassi, admit it!”

The human hesitated. Slowly, he started to take the box off his back. “Well, if you put it that way...” Then he threw the box at Carrot and made a run for it. The farmpony picked herself from the ground, shaking her head to get rid of circling stars and spitting out a pair of carrot that ended in her mouth. She already knew she wasn’t fast enough to catch the running human.

“Help! A thief!” she shouted.

The sound of running feet outside was interrupted by a shout “Halt, evildoer!” and a sharp impact.
Hastily putting the carrots back into the box, Carrot Top walked outside. In the middle of the farm, there was one of the pegasi guards, standing over the trampled body of the thief. There was already a small circle of onlookers forming around it including, to Carrot’s distaste, the colts from Diamond Tiara’s lemonade stand.

“You... killed him,” said Carrot, looking down on the body. “You were supposed to capture him.”

The guard smiled sheepishly. “I tried to. But he was like 40 levels below me. It was very hard to hit him gently enough.” He nudged the body with his leg. “And now I’m stuck with paperwork. I hope I can put it under ‘resisting arrest.’”

“So now we cannot get his testimony...” Carrot thought aloud while examining the corpse. She was starting to feel queasy. Her ears perked when she got a sudden idea. “Those maps everypony carries record all the tasks given. Perhaps we can check his.”

As if to spite her, the dead rogue crumbled to dust just as the mare reached for his satchel. The farmpony stared in confusion at the bleached bones that were left. “Ugh... what just happened?”

The guardpony looked up from the notebook where he was already writing a report. “He returned to life at the nearest graveyard. He is still insignificant, so he won’t be weakened. With some luck, we might be able to capture him when he tries to rob you again.”

“Can’t you just go look for him now?” asked Carrot. “You know how he looks like and he is already guilty of one burglary.”

“I’m afraid not, ma'am,” answered the pegasus. “First, we are all stuck here on guard duty in case any Horde adventurers come close to the farm. More importantly, the suspect has died, so we can no longer prosecute him.”

A moment of stunned silence followed.

“But… he is alive again, isn’t he? He might be back again any moment,” said Carrot Top in disbelief.

“Well… yes,” answered the guard, scratching the back of his neck with his hoof. “You see, ma’am, we still have to follow the law… and frankly…”

“The whole ‘coming back from the dead’ thing has thrown the entire legal system out of whack!” interrupted his colleague from the cloud above. “The criminal law, the law of succession… nothing works as it should. The princesses have appointed some lawyers to straighten it all up, but with all the exceptions, like death knights, they haven’t even figured out how to legally define ‘dead’ yet.”

“So… you cannot arrest anyone if they die?” asked Carrot Top. The guard frowned.

“Pretty much. Good thing we don’t really get that many criminals in Canterlot area. Mostly some foreign troublemakers. The castle dungeon is empty save for one or two guys who are afraid to kill themselves in case it IS their fate to die that day. Unless something changes soon…”

He was interrupted by the sound of bells ringing. Carrot Top looked towards her improvised alarm installation and then along the wire towards the cellar door, where a blurred bipedal shape was in the middle of making a run for it.

“A thief! Stop!” she shouted.

“Halt, evildoer!”

*splat*

“Will you stop doing that?”

“Ugh… sorry, my bad.”

***

Carrot Top entered the town, the cart with the morning delivery behind her. She had considered turning the delivery into a quest, but in the end she didn’t trust random ponies to do something so important. Actually, what will I do if someone tries to steal my cakes straight from the cart? she suddenly thought. It’s not like I have any fighting skills to speak of. She shuddered at the memory of her last fight. She would have died, again, if not for the three ponies escorting her to Zecora.

The early hour made the town rather quiet, at least compared to the usual bustle. Few adventurers were early birds. The few ponies and people she could see in the streets seemed to have just returned from whatever night adventures they had taken part in. One of them was standing next to the goblins’ stand, exchanging some goods.

Carrot Top tensed. She recognised that man. He was one of the rogues she had seen visit the stand before. Was he also among the ones breaking into her cellar? She began trotting towards the two, but as the masked human saw her approach, he bid a quick farewell to the goblin shopkeeper and disappeared into thin air.

The goblin (which Carrot Top decided must have been Legassi; she still had a bit of trouble telling them apart) smiled as the cart stopped in front of the counter. “Ah, miss Carrot Top. What can I do for you on this fine morning?”

Carrot Top stared at him. “Well, you could start by explaining who that person was.” She gestured her hoof in the direction the rogue had stood before he disappeared.

“A customer,” answered Legassi with a wide grin. “Surprisingly, we have customers here.”

The farmpony suppressed a growl. “This one looked suspiciously like the thieves that keep trying to steal my carrots.”

The goblin made a theatrical frown. “Carrots? Why would anyone steal carrots? They are pretty cheap. Now, if someone were to steal your cakes…” He stepped aside and looked at the cart behind Carrot Top. “How many are there? Ten packages of four each? That makes forty cakes. Now, if someone stole those, that would be terrible. But carrots? Why would anyone bother?”

“Well, for a start, they are an ingredient for the cakes,” said Carrot Top, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “I was just about to ask where you get yours.” She stepped forward, putting her head over the counter into the goblin’s personal space. He didn’t seem the least intimidated.

“We import them from Stormwind,” he answered with a smile. “They might not be as good as the Equestrian ones, but they are cheaper than yours.”

The statement earned him a raised eyebrow.”Cheaper than mine? I don’t remember you asking to buy any,” said the farmpony. “And how much cheaper would they have to be to make up for transportation costs?”

Now it was Legassi’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “What transportation costs? Have you seen any carts coming all the way from the human lands?”

Carrot Top stood in silence for a moment, trying to understand what he just said. Was he insulting her? Then her eyes flashed with sudden understanding. “The blimps. You’re using Alliance-funded transportation available to adventurers. And the inexperienced ones will shovel manure for a handful of coppers and a good word if you call it a quest. You’re using your customers as errand boys.”

Legassi chuckled. “Oh, I’m sure you do too, miss. But don’t say that aloud, some of them might hear you.” He turned around, scanning the street with wary eyes.

Carrot Top almost snickered herself when she remembered she was supposed to be angry. “That’s all well and good, but I’m still getting robbed. By your customers. I’ve heard how you do business, from your own mouths mostly. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t buy some extra vegetables if your ‘customers’ were willing to sell some. And is it a coincidence that all those humans bringing deliveries to you seem to be common thieves?”

Legassi stared at the mare in stunned silence. It took a moment before he gave any reaction - a tip of his ear started twitching, then the corner of his mouth. Finally he spoke with deliberate slowness “So, that would make me… a carrot fence?” He managed to keep a straight face for a few more seconds before he erupted in loud guffaws, banging his fist on the counter.

Carrot Top reared, slamming her front hooves on top of the stand. “This. Is. Serious! I’m being robbed here.”

“Now, now…” said the goblin, wiping a tear of laughter from his eye. “It’s not like it’s my problem, miss. Unless you want to keep shouting that in front of the customers. Then, it’s malicious slander.”

“It’s not slander if it’s true,” growled Carrot Top.

“It’s not true, unless you have a proof,” smiled Legassi.

“You’re despicable…” Carrot Top pressed so hard on the counter, it seemed almost ready to break.

The goblin shrugged. “You’re the one to talk.”

“What!?”

“Will you two keep it quiet?” asked Screed, emerging from his tent. “I don’t work till second shift, was hoping to get some more sleep.” He looked from the fuming farmpony to Legassi and back. “What he is saying, miss, is that we have done business with ponies before. That’s how we got this here machine after all. Let me tell you, you ponies may not be as bold as goblins with your investments, but you are every bit as opportunistic. If you found a gullible or easily persuaded customer, you’d talk her out of her horseshoes, wouldn’t you?”

Carrot Top actually took a step back at that. Was it really how she was? Then her expression hardened again. “We do not steal,” she said slowly.

Screed shrugged. “Do we? Oh, and speaking of business opportunities, do you think you could sell us some of these cakes?”

Carrot Top blinked. “Are you serious?”

“Well, yes. I see you have a full cart of cakes here. With the customers avoiding your friend’s establishment like the plague, so to speak, I don’t think she’ll be able to sell all that. We, on the other hand, sold out just after lunch yesterday. We could use some extra supplies today. And it would be better for you too. With the prices of those, you don’t need to sell many to keep the business going, but one should diversify their sources of income.”

“And you really expect me to to pick you over my friend?” hissed Carrot Top “After what you did? You were wrong, we are nothing like you. We have standards.”

Screed shook his head. “Your loss, miss. That’s no standards. That’s mixing personal feelings with your job. That’s bad for business.”

Carrot Top was already pulling the cart away, heading towards the inn. Behind her she could hear the two goblins’ voices.

“If you change your mind, you know where to find us!”

“Told you she wouldn’t agree to that.”

“She would have if you hadn’t riled her up first! Will you ever learn to watch your tongue?”

“Look who’s talking…”

***

Carrot Top entered through the back door and started unloading the cakes. She caught a glimpse of Berry Punch, who welcomed her with a nod and went back to work. Apparently, despite Screed’s statement there were some customers having breakfast at the inn.

“It was my first time in Shattrath, so like everyone I got a little bit lost. Good thing I could fly, so I could take a look from above…” said a loud voice in the main room. Carrot Top recognised it as Cloud Kicker’s.

She unloaded the last cake and closed the door, then went to the front of the inn. There was a single party of four sitting there, with Berry Punch watching them over the counter. Carrot Top slumped next to her.“I’ve brought the cakes,” she said.

Berry Punch took a deep breath. “Thank you. Unfortunately, I’ll have to reduce the order from tomorrow. Lost half my customers to that mess. They pop in with the hearthstone and then run straight out through the front door. And it would be even worse if Blossomforth hadn’t taken the blame in front of everypony.” She pointed to the table where Blossomforth was sitting along with Cloud Kicker and some other pony adventurers. They waved to Carrot Top and she nodded in return, turning back to Berry Punch just as Cloud Kicker returned to her story.

“She has been bringing her party here for meals,” continued the barmare “but that’s only a couple extra customers a day. And I know where all the others go. If this continues, Screed and Legassi will be able to build an inn of their own. If they also get a hearthstone licence, I might be out of business completely.”
Carrot Top’s eyes grew wide. “Surely it isn’t that bad…”

Berry Punch gave her a half smile. “Well, I petitioned to the princesses. The palace did not acknowledge their fault, they claimed that their mages did all they could to contain the chaos inside the gardens. Still, they promised to contact me if there is anything they need done around Ponyville; they will station an officer in here, so any adventurers willing to perform tasks for them will have to come here. But I don’t know when that can happen. And all the goblins need is another ‘accident’ like that.”

Meanwhile, Cloud Kicker’s story was reaching the punchline. “So, after talking to the owner, I walk into the common bedroom of the inn to catch some sleep and what do I see? There is a dwarf and a pair of dreanai girls sitting on the bed, wearing nothing but their guild tabards! I guess they weren’t expecting more guests at that hour. Sadly, I never learned what it was all about… Hey, Carrot Top! Come here and have a drink with us!”

“Just a moment,” responded Carrot before turning back to Berry. “That was an accident. They didn’t cause it.”

“No, but they sure made a good use of it.” Berry Punch sighed. “They have been using it in all their advertisements for the last three days, except for the leaflets the Crusaders are giving out. And if they want to cause something smaller, like a food poisoning, how can I defend from it?”

“Would they go that low?” asked Carrot and immediately facehoofed. “Of course they would. And they have a lot of people to do it for them. It’s only a matter of time before they pull something like that. I’ll have to guard… everything.”

As she was talking, Blossomforth excused herself from Cloud Kicker’s table and sat at the counter. “Hey, Carrot. It doesn’t look good, does it?”

Carrot Top nodded. “No, it doesn’t. And how are you holding?”

“Well, going through lots of paperwork recently. The goblins actually did sue me for damages. And so did a couple of local shopkeepers.”

“I though they could no longer sue you after you died?” said Carrot Top with surprise.

“Well, yes and no. This is a civil law lawsuit. They acknowledged that I died, but since I admitted fault, they want to sue me as my own heir. I don’t think they will win in court, but I can’t just leave it be.” She turned to Berry Punch. “Do you think you can manage to get back on track?”

“We were just discussing it,” said Berry Punch. “We are thinking the goblins will make another move to finish my inn off. With the rogues they employ, it will be easy to arrange something that will ruin my reputation and let them take over all my customers.”
Blossomforth frowned. “Are you sure? I have dealt with goblins before and many of them are scumbags… but this?”

“They wanted to buy my cakes today,” said Carrot Top “Advised me to ‘diversify’ my source of income.” Then her eyes widened. “If they sabotage your business, they will ruin my reputation too.”

“So, you can either join them or go out of business with me?” asked Berry Punch. She poured herself a cup of grape juice and emptied it with a single swig.

“Are you absolutely sure they’re going to do it?” asked Blossomforth, visibly uncomfortable. “I will do all I can do to help, but I want to be sure we’re not jumping to conclusions.”

“They will,” answered Carrot Top. “I have seen enough since they arrived. And I have talked to them; they don’t even see anything wrong about what they do. This is how they do business.” She took a deep breath. “Berry, if anything happens, I’m standing with you on this. We will make it through this mess and do successful business together. And if they want to cheat us out of the fruits of our hard work… we’ll beat them at their own game.”

Silence fell at the declaration. For a moment nopony spoke, neither at the counter nor at the table. With some discomfort, Carrot Top realised that she was standing on her chair with one hoof in the air. Finally, it was Cloud Kicker that spoke. “What exactly are you planning?”

Carrot Top slumped down, her frame visibly shrinking. “I have no idea.”

“Well then, we’ll need to do some brainstorming, won’t we?” said Blossomforth, smiling at her friends.

***

4 hours later…

“I’ve got it!” shouted Carrot Top. Blossomforth and Berry Punch jerked awake from the nap they had dropped into after running out of ideas an hour before. The farmpony turned to the priestess first.

“You’re an engineer, aren’t you?”

Blossomforth nodded. “What do you have in mind?”

Carrot Top just beamed at her. Then she turned towards Berry Punch. “If Screed and Legassi really are so greedy, we’ll give them something they won’t be able to resist.” Her expression turned serious as she looked at the barmare. “This will be risky though, and you will have to put your business on the line. Will you trust me that far?”

Berry Punch grinned at her. “My business is already on the line. Tell me what you have in mind.”

Author's Note

The anectode Cloud Kicker tells is absolutely true. It happened to me during my first play through Outlands. Sadly, I was playing a Forsaken back then and unable to speak their language, so I never learned what it was about.

Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

The next morning, Screed and Legassi opened their stand as usual, awaiting the day’s first customers. The day started off lazily, as usual, allowing the two goblins to have a breakfast in relative peace before the first battered group of ponies approached the machine with a pile of broken gear.

“Customers,” grinned Screed, standing up from his stool. “How can we serve you on this fine morning?” He was answered with a pile of junk dropped from the ponies’ bags onto the counter.
Armours in need of repair followed. The goblin put them inside the slot of the automatic blacksmith attachment one by one, then stood and watched as the device hammered away.

“Hey! Remember, that robe is dry clean only,” he heard a mare shout behind him. He turned and nodded with a smile, suppressing the urge to growl. Customers meant business, the lifeblood of his existence, but that didn’t make the insufferable ones any more bearable.

While Screed was taking care of the repair services, Legassi took care of the loot, quickly dividing the items into smaller piles that went into separate boxes, counting the change and giving the adventurers whatever wares they wanted; food and drinks were quickly taken, paid for and placed in the saddlebags.

“Do you haf any of thes?”

The goblin looked up. A lavender pegasus mare clad in deep red plate armor was standing over him, a long scroll held in her teeth. She spat it out on the counter and repeated: “Do you have any of these? I’m building a plot device and it seems I have a long list of gizmos to gather.”

Legassi picked up the paper and skimmed through it. As he continued down the list, his expression grew more and more surprised. Finally he put the paper back, pulled out a pencil and made some notes on it.

“This, this and this we can sell you right now. Those two we can get you by tomorrow. Now the last one… you’d have to go to Northrend and gather some ingredients for us…” He turned the paper over and scribbled something on the back.

The mare looked down on the new list. “Hmm… ok, ok, ok…I’ll come back to buy the rest once I’ve gathered those... Crystallized water? Isn’t it just ice?”

Legassi’s ears twitched with impatience. “Har, har… I’ve never heard that joke before. And those blades on your wings are made of ‘just steam’, aren’t they? What kind of quest do you need all those for anyway? It is a heck of shopping list.”

The mare picked the list up with her teeth and stuffed it into her bag. “Oh, it’s not a quest, just a private project.”

“I thought you said it was for a quest item,” said Legassi.

“No, no, I said it was for a plot device. Completely different.”

“A plot device?” The goblin raised an eyebrow. “What does it do?”

The pegasus, who was already leaving the stand, turned to look back at him with a smirk. “What do you think a ‘plot device’ does?” She paused for effect before finishing. “It makes engineers blush.”

She then left, swishing her tail, leaving the confused Legassi with a whole line of snickering customers.

The mare walked two houses down the street before turning a corner and hiding from view. Another pegasus mare, dressed in opulent priestess robes, was waiting there. The warrior handed her the list with a smile. “Just like you thought, Blossom; they don’t have it on hoof. You can proceed as planned.”

Blossomforth grabbed the list and stuffed it into her bag. She then glared at her friend. “Did you have to make a show of yourself? I told you to try to be subtle!”

“No point. These parts are unusual and he is a technician. He would have remembered me anyway. Now at least he doesn’t want to remember.”

“But what if he recognised you as my friend? Everypony knows you.”

“Hey! I may be a famous hero of Equestria, but there are hundreds of us now. And I don’t usually wear this armour. Don’t worry. To a shopkeeper, my face will be just another pony muzzle in the crowd.”

***

Carrot Top stopped to check if she was in the right place.

Ponyville had changed a lot since the Cataclysm, growing in all directions and almost doubling in population, not even counting the visiting adventurers. Apart from the landmarks, like Sugarcube Corner, which were rebuilt in their original shape, almost everything had been replaced, making it quite confusing for ponies who hadn’t visited for a long time. However, Carrot Top had been to Fluttershy’s, and she didn’t remember a forest growing there.

She stared again at the thick treeline in front of her. The road leading towards the bridge disappeared between the trees, a long line of magical lanterns marking the way with soft, green light.

“Seriously?” she huffed, before following the road warily. She hoped she wouldn’t need an escort just to get to a place that was still technically within the town. Walking slowly, she scanned her surroundings. Here and there, she caught glimpses of animals moving among the plant life. Fortunately, none of them seemed aggressive, and they would stay away from the road.

Finally crossing the bridge over the stream, Carrot Top turned right. Two thick trees marked the entrance to Fluttershy’s farm, a mailbox standing in front of the one to the right. Relieved at getting to her destination safely, the farmpony hastened her pace. She was already between the trees when something caught her eye, a name beginning to appear among the branches.

With a loud creak, the tree to the left swung its branch, gesturing helpfully towards the farm. It then returned to its original position, ignoring the blood-curdling scream of the frightened mare. Taking a few deep breaths to calm herself, Carrot Top looked up angrily at the tree, then proceeded to unwrap her limbs from around the mailbox. “Not an adventurer… leave me be…” she grumbled as she walked towards the cottage.

As it turned out, Fluttershy’s home had changed as much as its surroundings. Three trees had somehow grown where the cottage used to be and the house was now built on and around their branches, an elaborate construction that bore quite a lot of resemblance to Twilight’s library. Around it, the yard resembled a miniature village; pens and birdhouses of all shapes and sizes were spread out among the trees, giving each animal enough space while forming a picturesque whole. Eyes watched the approaching farmpony from every corner - there were the chickens, the snakes, the squirrels and mice, but Carrot Top could see many, many more; oversized insects, cubs of various predators, including what could only be dragon hatchlings, and some things that she didn’t have any idea how to properly name. How all those creatures could share the same space without conflict defied comprehension.

Returning to the matters at hoof, Carrot Top walked towards the house, doing her best to ignore a couple of fun-sized deadly predators watching her curiously. Climbing the stairs, she approached the entrance and peered into the house through an open door. Small animals scuttled out of sight, but apart from that, there was nopony inside.

“Hello?” called Carrot Top hesitantly. “Anypony home?” There was no response. Then again, the house was quite big.

She might be in the attic, or in the basement. Should I come in or not?

Before Carrot Top could solve her dilemma, her ears caught a voice from outside. Somepony was shouting, in a shrill voice… like a filly? Carrot Top turned around, looking for the source of the noise. It was coming from somewhere behind the house. Trotting down the stairs and around the tree trunks, the farmpony found a small, square building visibly isolated from everything else. Unlike all of the other nearby structures, it was made entirely of stone. From the inside, Carrot Top could hear angry growling and something that sounded like a struggle.

“Is anypony…”

She was interrupted by an angry roar and a gout of bright orange flame bursting out of the doorway. With a yelp of fear, she hit the ground, crawling backwards away.

“BAD DOG! SIT!” came a shout from the inside

There was another burst of orange flame and then silence. Slowly, Carrot Top’s flattened ears started to rise up, then the rest of her body. She twitched, ready to run, when something emerged from inside the small house. No, somepony. It was a young pony clad head to hoof in a thick fireproof suit, a pair of buckets levitating behind it. It went towards a small awning at the back of the main house and started undressing, putting the equipment away onto an empty rack.
As the suit’s head gear was removed, Carrot Top saw a head of a navy-blue unicorn filly. The girl turned, only now noticing the visitor. Quickly turning away, she grabbed a small wreath of wild flowers and put it on her head, then turned back towards Carrot Top, an enthusiastic smile on her face.

“WE HEARTILY WELCOME YOU TO FLUTTERSHY’S TEMPLE OF NATURE AND PETTING ZOO!” she shouted.

Carrot Top took a step back. The voice had somehow managed to flatten her mane. What was with that kid? “Aaannnd who are ‘we’ exactly?” she asked.

“Umm… WE, THE STAFF!” answered the filly with a wide grin. “THE NAME IS MOONSTONE, MISS!”

Carrot Top took another step back.”You don’t need to shout. I can hear you just fine.”

“Oh… We apologise,” said Moonstone, removing the rest of her protective suit.

Carrot Top’s eyes widened in realisation. Oh, so that’s who you are. This explains the voice.

The farmpony pointed her hoof at a symbol on the girl’s tabard, a rearing yellow filly in a blue field. “You’re a Cutie Mark Crusader, aren’t you?

“Yes, one of the five original members, in fact!” smiled the filly.

“So…” Carrot Top pointed awkwardly towards the stone house behind her. “That thing over there… were you trying to get your cutie mark?”

Moonstone responded with a blank stare. “Of course not. This is not a task for the untrained. It would be too dangerous. It is just a part of staff duties.”

Carrot Top turned slowly towards the stone house. Just on cue, another gout of flame emerged through the door. “Wait… you are just a filly! If this is so dangerous, why do you do it? What was Fluttershy thinking!?”

Moonstone sighed. “We don’t know what Miss Fluttershy was thinking to bring it here in the first place. But once she had, it is our responsibility while she is away.” She straightened and puffed her chest. “We have proven to be skilled enough to care for it safely and worthy of her trust!” She paused to study the look of utter horror on the farmpony’s face.

“But… but…” sputtered Carrot Top, “isn’t it illegal? And what do your parents think of this?”

Moonstone rummaged through the gathered equipment and produced a green cloak, pulling it over herself to complete her druid attire. “By… her Majesty Princess Luna’s decree, this grove belongs to the Cenarion Circle and falls under its law. Everything is perfectly legal! And none of my family have objected.” The sentence rolled off her tongue as if she had rehearsed it. Carrot Top couldn’t help but think the filly must have needed to say it quite frequently.

Moonstone cleared her throat and trotted closer to Carrot Top, looking up at her with curiosity. “Soooo… what can we help you with?”

Carrot Top blinked repeatedly before finally remembering the reason for going there in the first place. “I… I wanted to learn something about local animals…”

The filly’s smile widened in an unsettling way. “A student! IT WILL BE OUR HONOR TO INITIATE YOU INTO THE DRUIDIC LORE!”

Carrot Top took another step back and this time her eyes actually darted towards the way out of the clearing. “I don’t need to learn everything. Just a few details on…”

Moonstone zipped forward, stopping well within Carrot Top’s personal space. “That would be wrong! One cannot understand Nature except as a whole! We cannot risk you getting misinformed!”

The farmpony put her hoof on the filly’s shoulder and pushed her away slightly, her eyes narrowing. “Listen here, missy. I know you’re enthusiastic and all, and I see you like using big, adult words. But I don’t have the time for…”

She paused, as her instincts warned her that she was being watched. Suddenly, everything around her was moving in the same, slow rhythm. From everywhere around the clearing, multiple eyes were fixed on her, approaching slowly.

Flinching away in panic, Carrot Top withdrew her hoof from Moonstone’s shoulder. “I… I mean, I have a lot to do on my farm and…”

She looked around. The creatures were still approaching. Moonstone was looking up at the farmpony’s face, waiting for her to finish, seemingly oblivious to her charges’ behaviour.

“... well, I’m sure I can find the time to listen to a longer lecture,” Carrot Top finished, forcing a smile, her eyes still darting around, trying to observe all animals at once.

Moonstone’s wide grin instantly returned. The filly looked around the clearing. “Right then, let us begin, as we have practiced!” she addressed the gathered animals. The creatures stopped, some of them scattering towards their homes, only to return dragging… musical instruments? Carrot Top watched in astonishment as a white rabbit took a central place on top of a box, a conductor’s baton in paw. As the animals began playing a slow melody, the unicorn filly swirled around and took a deep breath.

She isn’t going to…

“Look at this place, filled with so many wonders...”

She is.

***

It was many hours later when Carrot Top finally left the tree house, a new green cloak draped across her back and a flower wreath on her head. Grumbling angrily, she stopped and closed her eyes. Experimentally, she stood up on her hind legs and rubbed her front hooves together. A faint green aura appeared between them, but when the mare released the spell, there was no effect.

Typical… “a simple healing spell meant to alleviate the pain of battle injuries”, useless against an ordinary headache… I guess I’ll have to go look for some herbs.

She stopped, thinking of the implications of going to the forest to practice herbal medicine. Shuddering, she continued on, completely forgetting about the treant at the entrance until he saluted her.

Carrot Top flinched away and then her face turned red. “Still not an adventurer!” she shouted at the tree’s impassively wooden face. She then turned away and quickly trotted off. “Grr… go pollinate yourself…” she finished under her breath.

***

Much earlier the same day, Blossomforth descended upon Carrot Top’s farm. Landing in the main yard, the pegasus priestess headed directly toward Vinyl Scratch’ stand.

“May I have a moment?” she said, putting her front hooves on the counter and peering into the chaotic mess behind it.

A disheveled looking blue mane emerged, followed by a set of large glasses. Vinyl Scratch spat out a tangle of cables. “No prob. What can I do you for?

Blossomforth spent a moment looking down on her with a raised eyebrow, before finally remembering what she came there for. “I need some professional advice concerning engineering.”

It was Vinyl’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Engineering? But… You’re a much higher level. You do those weather balloons and all.”

“I do,” said Blossomforth. “But still there are things you’re better than me at. I need your advice on one such matter.”

“And that would be?”

“I want you to teach me about wubs.”

***

Miss Carrot Top

The device you have requested has passed the preliminary testing stages. Within a week it should be ready for delivery to Miss Berry Punch’ establishment. The expected baking efficiency has been increased by 20% and the technology allows for improvements in the recipe, as planned. The cost of the device will not go beyond the initial assessment.

Yours Faithfully
Blossomforth

P.S.
Please make sure to destroy this letter upon receipt. With the constant break-ins into your farm, it would be all too easy for it to fall into the hands of your competition

Ixyourmom read the letter again and smirked. That could get him a few extra pieces of silver. Putting the letter into his back pocket, he heard a soft ‘ping’ of his map notes updating.

Ponies… what kind of idiot leaves a letter like this on top of a barrel in her storage cellar?

Moving with grace surprising for his bulky frame, the human walked up the stairs and melded into the shadow of the barn.

Author's Note

And there you have it. I apologise for making you all wait so long. I know this should have been ready months ago. I wish I could give you some legitimate excuse, but the fact is, as far as work is concerned, I have an attention span of a squirrel.

Seriously, I'm like George Martin of Fimfiction. I should find a character you like and have her die messily.

Oh, wait. I already have.

Anyways, thanks to Bongo and Nonagon for proofreading.

Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

Carrot Top turned around and swung her hoof. It hit the empty spot on the wooden nightstand. The noise didn’t stop. The farmer spent a couple moments feeling in the darkness before her mind awoke enough to remember what she was doing.

No alarm clock… it fell down and got broken yesterday… it’s the rooster.

She rolled out of bed and onto her hooves, then peered out through the window. “Awake, awake, you can stop now,” she said in a stage whisper.

There was a sound of shifting feathers as the aged bird went back to sleep. Carrot Top closed the window, turned around and slowly walked towards the bathroom.

***

Two hours later she was on her way to the town centre, a cart of cakes behind her. The main square seemed busier than usual, with a small crowd already forming in front of the goblins’ stand. This Carrot expected; the smell of baked goods could be felt from afar. What she didn’t expect was a pair of pegasi guards standing on either side of the counter.

Turning her cart, the mare trotted towards the pegasus on the left. “Good day, sir. May I know what is going on here?”

The stallion looked at her with impassive expression. “We have been asked to provide additional security. With the approaching baking duel creating some… tension, the owner was concerned that somepo… someone could try to sabotage his invention.”

“Buy or make way, miss,” said Legassi from behind the counter. “We’re having an early crowd here today.”

“Oh really?” asked Carrot Top with a voice dripping with sarcasm, making a visible effort not to notice the long line in front of the store. “You’ve found a new way to attract customers?”

“Nothing but finest quality, miss,” replied Legassi between serving customers. “With the new improvements we made to the machine, our cakes are now the best in town. I think everyone will agree with that before the contest even starts.”

“Sure they will,” grumbled Carrot Top, backing up before turning her cart to make the delivery to Berry’s.

***

“So, is everything ready?” asked Berry as she unpacked the wares. “You might as well leave them in the cart. Nopony’s even looked inside today, except for Cloud and her party.”

“Well, I had to bake them anyway. Otherwise it’d look suspicious,” responded Carrot Top. “And yes, we’re ready. I invited all of my new friends.”

Berry put the last box on the table, then slumped onto the ground. “So… that’s it? Win or lose now?”

Carrot Top nuzzled her comfortingly. “Relax, Berry. We will win. Greed and foul play will be punished and you will get your customers back.” She walked around her and slapped a hoof on her back. “And now get up and get ready to look your best! We have a show to prepare!”

***

The town square was full of people and ponies. Adventurers seemed to have flocked to the town just to see the event while the locals came with their families. Carrot Top felt a pang of guilt as she saw the children in the crowd.

If it ever gets out what really happened today, I will have some explaining to do. Oh well, it’s far too late to back out now.

In the middle of the square, between the inn and the goblin’s store, there was a wooden podium. Mayor Mare was standing there, dressed in an elaborate white robe, accompanied by a group of officials; there was a human mage, a dwarven warrior, and, to Carrot’s surprise, a tauren wearing a heavy leather mantle covered with pieces of carved wood.

Must be an ambassador of some sort or something… and who is that?

A group of about a dozen goblins entered the square. They had grey and green flags and two of them carried poles with a banner between them. A mixed group of adventurers followed them with similar flags.

“You didn’t think they’d have no support of their own, did you?” asked a voice behind Carrot Top. It was Blossomforth, this time dressed in her engineer’s gear rather than her elaborate priestess robes. “The contest may be decided by the judges, but in matters like this… You know, taste is a matter of… well, taste. It’s not clear-cut. That means the mood in the audience can have some sway over the verdict.”

“Not taking any chances, are they?” said Carrot Top rolling her eyes.

“It’s not like we’ve done any different,” smiled Blossomforth. “Our supporters just blend in better.”
Mayor Mare chose that moment to start the competition. She cleared her throat loudly and when that didn’t get any attention, she reared and stomped her front hooves on the podium.

“Fillies and…” she started and looked over the audience again. “I mean, ladies and gentlemen. I welcome you all to the first Ponyville bake-off! Are the contestants ready?”

Berry Punch and Screed entered the podium from opposite sides, staring each other down like a pair of Appleloosa duelists.

“She’s trying to make it sound like a friendly contest,” whispered Carrot Top as she walked to her place on Berry’s side of the podium, the mayor continuing her speech.

“She has always tried to keep things friendly,” answered Blossomforth. “How else would she have kept a place like Ponyville working, with all the foreigners here in addition to the three tribes? Ok, just focus and do your job. I will keep an eye for our cue to act.” She smiled and tapped the farmpony on the back, then turned her full attention to the goblins’ machine.

“Well then,” said Mayor Mare loudly, turning from the judges she had been introducing back toward the audience. “With the preparations finished, it is time to begin the bake-off!” She looked at the two contestants. “The game begins now. Two batches of cakes will be judged. Bring us the best food you can and may the odds be ever in your favour!”

***

“Aaaaaand… ready,” breathed Carrot Top onto the door of the oven. She pulled the door open and turned around to wrap a piece of cloth around her front hooves before gently pulling at the edges of the tray to take the cakes out. The smell of pastries filled the kitchen.

“Take these outside while I load the second batch,” said Berry Punch over the table where four filled cake pans were waiting their turn.

Carrot Top finished taking the cakes out of the pans and cutting them before loading everything into a small cart to take outside. She emerged from the inn to find the audience watching the podium, where an unknown goblin was just finishing a speech.

“... and the lesson of the story is never to trust foreign cheese.”

There were some chuckles from the audience. Carrot Top raised an eyebrow. “What was that?”

“A stand up comedy routine,” answered Blossomforth emerging from the crowd. “The mayor needed something to keep everyone from getting bored while we baked and lo and behold, a goblin comedian just happened to show up when she started looking.”
Carrot Top clenched her teeth. “I have a feeling they have more experience in this stuff.”

“You think so?” sneered Blossomforth. “They also baked more than you did. It wasn’t a part of my design - their machine is better at doing large batches.”

It was then Carrot Top noticed a stack of empty plates on the counter of the goblins’ stand. “They already finished?”

“Just as I told you, increased efficiency. And they had more to give to the audience, too.”

Carrot Top shook her head. “So, they will be even faster with the second batch. By the time ours is ready, most of the people here will be cheering for them and the judges will already be full.”

“We should be finished before that happens,” said Blossomforth, turning to look at the clock tower. “Now take those cakes and try to make a good impression.”

Carrot Top suddenly remembered that she had a cart full of cakes in front of her. Quickly she pushed towards the podium, the crowd parting as they saw her. She loaded the first tray onto her back and started ascending the stair.

What if we fail? she thought as she unloaded the cakes and presented them to the judges. All is prepared, but if they found out and fixed everything, they can really win the contest. Berry will lose the inn and Screed will cut me off. I’ll lose my best buyer and a friend…

Mayor Mare was talking loudly next to her, but Carrot Top tuned her out, her attention divided between worrying herself sick and presenting her pastries in the proper manner. After bowing to every judge in turn she descended the podium and started dividing the rest of the cakes among the audience.

No, we spent whole night planning this and then worked for days on the details. We made plans A, B and C. It will not fail.

She wanted to go back to the kitchen, but then saw something small flutter over one of the rooftops. Smirking, she turned towards the clock tower.

It’s almost time.

Turning around, she turned around and took position next to Blossomforth.

***

They didn’t have to wait long. After ten or so minutes Blossomforth nudged Carrot Top and pointed towards the goblins’ machine. The moving parts seemed to slow down and there was less smoke coming out of it. Screed and Legassi both walked in front of the oven and watched it intently before running into their tent and coming back with a pair of wands. The two sticks glowed green as they directed their magic into the machine.

Blossomforth smiled. “And that would be the three-phase thaumic converter glitching into absorbing mode and leeching energy from the machine. I think that’s my cue.”

She walked towards the podium, walking up onto it before anyone could stop her. “May I have your attention please!?” she said loudly.

“What do you want, miss Blossomforth?” asked Mayor Mare. “Is there something amiss?”

Blossomforth stepped aside turning so that she could keep eye contact with the mayor while still being clearly audible to everyone around. “As you know, I was recently robbed. A prototype oven meant for this competition was stolen from my house!”

Mayor Mare sighed deeply. “I’m well aware of that. You accused Mr. Screed of engineering the burglary, but failed to prove your accusations. He has already filed several complaints about you slandering his business.”

“As I will again, I’m afraid,” said Screed climbing onto the podium from the other side. “Such an underhanded and unjustified attack on me and in the middle of a competition that will decide the fate of my business, no less!” He turned towards the judges. “I’m sorry, noble sirs, that you have to bear witness to this outrage. It looks like this mare just likes a big audience.”

“Do you have any new proofs for your claim, miss Blossomforth?” asked Mayor Mare. “If not, I will have to ask you to stop disrupting the competition.”

Blossomforth smiled. “Yes, in fact. I will prove that the oven mr Screed is using was stolen from me.”

Screed stepped forward, almost going face to snout with her. “You lie, missy. There is nothing in that oven that was built by ponies! Nothing but the finest goblin craftsmanship!”

“Oh, you don’t have to teach me about craftsmanship.” said Blossomforth, moving to meet him. “I’ve learned goblin engineering and from better goblins than you are!” She then stepped back and took a deep breath. “I invoke the Noblegarden egg clause!”

The entire square fell silent at the dramatic declaration, the silence broken only by the soft hum of the machine and a slapping sound when Legassi used a broom to swat away a stray fruit bat sniffing around the oven.

Mayor mare was the first to speak. “Noblegarden egg clause? And what is that?”
The dwarf official next to her stepped forward. “It’s when an engineer hides some sort of secret inside his machine, like the painted eggs during Noblegarden celebration. It is used to prove ownership of designs, when there is a conflict between inventors.”

“I see.” said Mayor Mare. “But surely you cannot expect us to stop Mr. Screed’s machine in the middle of the competition to look inside it?”

“That won’t be necessary,” said Blossomforth. “He is already having technical difficulties, ones that I can explain and I’m sure he cannot.”

She turned towards the oven that was now making strange noises. Legassi had put the broom away and was now fiddling with the controls.

“The machine seems to be running low on power, doesn’t it?” asked Blossomforth. “Do you think you can explain why?”

Screed closed his eyes, thinking. “It started using up more power than we had anticipated… we fed it more magic and it didn’t seem to help much…” Screed smiled. “It’s the three-phase thaumic converter. It’s not designed for prolonged use, so if it gets as much work as we gave it today, it sometimes get’s stuck and starts accumulating magic instead of converting it. An amateur might blow himself up by feeding more power into the device without checking, but since we know what’s going on, we can feed it some power and then open and close the flow past the converter in rapid succession to let the difference in potentials unstuck it. Which is what my partner here is in the process of doing.”

Mayor Mare stared at him, visibly confused at the stream of technobabble. She turned towards the dwarf, who seemed to be thinking hard. “Is he right, sir?” she asked.

“I’m not sure,” answered the dwarf. “I’ve never heard of gnome-made thaumic converters having this problem. The rest of the explanation seems perfectly logical, though. Mr Screed shows full understanding of his machine here.”

“You didn’t even have a thaumic converter,” hissed Blossomforth. “A friend of mine tried to buy one from you just a couple days ago. You said it would take lots of looking to gather all the needed materials.”

“Yup” answered Cloud Kicker, entering the podium to stand beside Blossomforth. “Blossom here was in the middle of building her oven and she sent me to get some parts. You didn’t have the converter thingy so I had to pull a lot of favours to get one in time.”

Screed’s ears perked up. “Oh yes, I remember you. You were the one that gave me the idea to use it. It took me too a lot of effort to get it in time. Isn’t that right, cousin?” he called towards the stand. One of the flag-waving goblins nodded his head. “We had to overpay twice for it to get it for you. Remember to pay me back for it.”

Carrot Top swallowed loudly. The audience was silent, just turning their heads from one speaker to another, as if watching a game of tennis. It was clear that Blossomforth and Cloud Kicker were improvising, which meant plan B had already fallen apart.

They instantly figured out what was wrong and how to fix it… no, they knew all along, she realised. The converter doesn’t jam unless sabotaged. They wouldn’t know how to fix it unless they allowed it…They must have found the timer Blossom put in the converter. Grr, she said they’d not dare put it apart without having a replacement in store... that means… They planned on Blossom stepping up right now! They were baiting her, pretending to be worried!

“Actually,” said Screed, “I recall seeing you again, just after we finished making adjustments to the oven. You were a part of that guard patrol she brought into our store first thing in the morning.”

Cloud Kicker took an instinctive step back before catching herself. “I’m sure you’re mistaken.”

Screed stepped forward, grinning triumphantly, “Oh, no, I’m not. I never forget a customer’s face, especially one that gets a laugh at my expense!”

Blossomforth turned to glare daggers at Cloud Kicker, who seemed to shrink a bit as she smiled sheepishly.

“In fact…” continued Screed, “You were the one that stuck her snout inside my oven, to make sure the parts bore no trademark of hers. And isn’t it oh so convenient for you that this little mishap happened right in the middle of the contest where my entire business is at stake?”

He turned to look at the audience, who collectively gasped. Blossomforth’s coat seemed to drain of colour, despite already being white. She knew what it meant; he had told a good story. It no longer mattered if all the details fell into place as long as the listeners were mesmerized - everyone loved a good story and he didn’t even need to prove her guilt, just get everyone on his side to win the contest.

Mayor Mare cleared her throat loudly. “This is a very serious accusation. As far as I know, miss Cloud Kicker is not a member of the town guard. If a sabotage attempt is proven, I might have to declare it…”

“One more question!” shouted Carrot Top, pushing past her two friends onto the podium. “What sound does the oven make?”

There was a moment of confusion as everyone stared at her.

“What do you mean?” asked Screed. He then heard something behind him and turned to look at his machine in surprise - there were a dozen fruit bats flapping around it now, with Legassi trying in vain to get rid of them.

“What sound does the oven make?” repeated Carrot Top. “Our oven didn’t just bake. It also used wubs to make the cakes softer, that’s the secret behind the better taste. You can’t hear most of the sound, much of it is too high or too low to hear, but it’s there. So, what is the sound ‘your’ oven makes?”

Screed looked around angrily. “Bats? It can’t be! We used the oven since yesterday and there weren’t any!”

“Oh, that’s because there aren’t any in town usually,” smiled Carrot Top. “But just today we made a large order of Big Macintosh’ apples to be delivered to the inn. Those were harvested from their side of the orchard. They must have followed the smell.”

Screed growled angrily, swinging his hand at a fruitbat that flew past his face. “It’s a trick! One of you must be controlling those creatures!” He turned and looked up at the tauren judge.

The bull-headed druid moved towards the growing swarm, his eyes squinted, inhaling slowly and deeply. “Indeed, it seems that the bats are being controlled,” he said in a slow, low voice. Screed’s expression turned into a wild grin, but before he could say anything, the tauren continued “but by the looks of it, it is by the machine itself.”

“And the answer is…” Carrot Top smiled brightly “fruitbat mating call.”

More and more bats appeared over the nearby rooftops, the crowd falling into chaos as some of the local ponies started to panic while curious adventurers pressed closer to get a better look.

Screed stared at the unfolding scene: “What are they doing to my mobile factory?!” he shouted, waving his fists. Then he saw exactly what they were trying to do and his face turned a deep shade of purple.

In the corner of her eye Carrot Top saw one of the locals, a tan mare with brown mane and milk bottle cutie mark, slapping her hoof across her colt’s eyes.

Cloud Kicker beamed towards Legassi. “I told you that’s what it does! Looks like you guys got totally…” at this point Blossomforth groaned loudly and stuffed a piece of cake into her open mouth.

“You… tampered with my oven!” roared Screed over the sound of flapping wings, walking face to face with Carrot Top. “It wasn’t supposed to do that!”

“That would be too hard,” answered the farm mare, “It takes lots of work to tune the wub generator. That’s why it was a ‘prototype’ oven. It wasn’t ready for use yet. Blossom was still working on it.”

“Bullshit!” shouted Screed, visibly on the verge of violence. “There was nothing about it in the notes!”

Carrot Top said nothing, just looking at him in silence, her smile frozen on her muzzle. Gradually, as if in slow motion, Screed’s face caught up with his brain as it caught up with his mouth. Then his ears drooped.

Mayor Mare stared at him in mild shock. The judges, with amusement. He kept moving back, his face becoming a rictus grin… then he turned around and leapt straight into the cloud of bats and towards the machine. “Legassi! We’re leaving!”

“On it!” the other goblin was running out of the tent with a large bag he swung around and threw onto the vehicle. Then he jumped on, pulling a couple of levers just as Screed got to the steering wheel. The mobile factory lurched and then burst forward, spreading a cloud of dirt as the pegs that had been keeping it secure were torn out of the ground. Several guards tried to reach it, but got stuck in the crowd for a few precious seconds as the machine built up speed, a huge swarm of fruitbats trailing behind it.

The square was left a mess, confused citizens and adventurers walking around the scattered remains of the goblin equipment. The rest of the goblins stayed with the crowd, though their flags and banners were now conspicuously absent. Mayor Mare looked around the square, then down the paved street where the goblins’ vehicle had disappeared, then at the judges and finally at Berry Punch who had walked out of her inn in the middle of the confusion and was now standing in front of the podium with a satisfied smile.

“Considering the circumstances, I declare Berry Punch Inn the winner by default!” said the mayor in her best official tone. To Carrot Top’s surprise, the remaining members of the audience started cheering, the humanoids clapping and pumping their fists while ponies stomped in their usual manner.

A couple pegasi guards returned to the square, landing in front of the podium. “The culprits have left the town,” said one of them.

“You’re faster than them.” said Cloud Kicker. “Why didn’t you keep chasing them?”

The guard sighed. “Sorry, Cloud. Outside of town is not our jurisdiction.”

Cloud Kicker, Carrot Top, Berry Punch and Blossomforth facehoofed synchronically. The officials just shrugged.

Then Blossomforth blinked, her head turning towards the road. “Wait… the oven was still on when Screed and Legassi left. Did they ever manage to finish unjamming the thaumic converter?”

There was a loud whine audible over the forest outside the town, lowering rapidly in pitch. All four pegasi leapt into the air to see over the roofs, just in time to get a view of the bat swarm scattering over the trees. Then there was a loud bang and a mushroom cloud of smoke rose over the treeline.

Cloud Kicker turned slowly, staring at Blossomforth. “Blossom… you weren’t intending to let that go off in the middle of the town?”

Blossomforth returned the stare. “Of course not. If they hadn’t ran away it would have taken seconds to fix. They’d just have to stop the oven and disconnect the piece from the circuit.”

The pegasi guard behind her relaxed, descending with her as the whole group returned to the ground. “Well, that’s a relief to know. I’d hate to have to arrest you now for bringing danger to the public. Though I’d like to for once be able to arrest someone. With all this mess you’d think we would be able to at least prove complicity or something. I've been told that those two hired some foreigners to do their dirty work..."

Ixyourmom got achievement [ Batmare Rises ] !

Slowly, all heads in the square turned in the same direction, all eyes staring at a human rogue, who was just about to leave the scene. He smiled, waved and tried to disappear. Then Pinkie Pie dumped a bag of flour on his head.

Author's Note

Finally finished. And what a long, strange trip it's been. I don't think I'll ever write something that long ever again :)

From this place I'd like to thank Capn_Chryssalid, who wrote the original World of Ponycraft and kept inspiring me with positive feedback.

I would also like to thank my editor Nonagon, who helped me give an actual plotline to the mess of random gags the first draft was and who talked me into writing the second arc. Without him the story would have been over before Screed and Legassi appeared, as well as much poorer in quality.

Epilogue

EPILOGUE

A Week Later

“There you go,” said Carrot Top to an armored earth pony, handing him a large bag. “You will use up the cheese and probably lose the chair, but make sure to give back the flute when you deliver the order. They’ll need it for whoever takes the cart back.”

The pony took the bag and nodded to his two friends, one of whom was harnessed to a wooden cart. “I’ll remember that. Ok guys, time to move out!”

The three turned away and left the farm, turning to the north after they passed the gate. Carrot Top followed them with her eyes.

The swamps won’t be a big market, but new connections are always a good thing.

There was a sound of flapping wings above her and a familiar voice called down to her. “Heya Carrot! We’ve got your oven.” It was Cloud Kicker, armored and pulling a small chariot with a large cubic package resting within. Blossomforth descended alongside her.

As the chariot’s wheels touched the ground, Carrot Top walked up to it to look curiously at the package. “So, this is the real thing, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” smiled Blossomforth. “New and improved, 96% more explosion-free and with no bats.”

“Or bears,” chuckled Cloud Kicker.

Blossomforth stared daggers at her. “Anyway, if anything needs fine tuning, I’m sure Vinyl will know how to help you.” She paused, thinking. “You sure you don’t want it installed in Berry’s inn?”

Carrot Top shook her head. “The whole point of our deal is that I do the baking. If I placed it at the inn, I’d have to move there to be on time with the morning batch. I guess I could rent a small house in the town center, but my home is here on the farm. Just put it in the kitchen. Everything’s prepared there. I’ll have to stay here to keep an eye on things, but you can ask Blueberry if you need any help… You sure I don’t owe you anything?”

Blossomforth smiled. “I have to keep tinkering all the time so my engineering skills don’t grow stale. I may as well make something useful with it from time to time. Plus a lot of what happened was kind of my fault.”

Carrot shook her head and smiled. “Hey, everypony makes mistakes. And we couldn’t have done it without you. I only had an idea. You planned out everything and then hammered it together.”

Blossomforth was about to respond that she’d have had nothing to work on without the idea. Then she saw Carrot’s smile and shrugged, raising her right front leg. The mares high-hoofed and beamed at each other.

“Ok, let’s get it done,” said Cloud Kicker and pulled the chariot towards the house, Blossomforth following her. Carrot Top shook her head once more and then closed her eyes and breathed deeply, allowing the sun to shine on her face. Things were finally looking up.

“Um… miss Carrot Top?”

Carrot Top opened her eyes and looked behind her. There was a blue earth pony stallion standing there, dressed in simple armor. Carrot vaguely remembered seeing him in town before.

His cutie mark was a musical note, I think…

“Noteworthy, is it?”

The stallion nodded.

“How can I help you?”

“Well…” started Noteworthy, visibly anxious. “It’s just I’ve just heard you were the one who gathered those herbs for Nurse Redheart a couple weeks ago, to make a poison joke antidote…”

Carrot Top groaned. “I don’t do adventuring anymore. I may be a druid, but I’m not an adventurer.” She smiled smugly. “I’m a quest giver now.”

“Oh, no, no. It’s nothing of the sort,” replied Noteworthy. “I just wanted to thank you.”

“Thank me?” asked Carrot Top. “Wait, you were the one who got his face rearranged?”

“Yes,” said the stallion. “And I just had a go at the herb gathering job myself and found out what a chore it was. Those herbs are hard to find and most guys are already done with that part of the forest before they visit the hospital. That’s why Nurse Redheart is always short on ingredients. Almost nopony takes that quest. If it wasn’t for you, I could have spent another week in the hospital.”

“Oh” said Carrot, making a mental note to talk to Nurse Redheart about quest giving efficiency. “In that case, I’m glad I could help.”

The stallion returned her smile, but kept standing there. The moment stretched until the silence became awkward.

“Soo…” asked Carrot Top, “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Noteworthy seemed to turn a bit purple. “I was thinking… would you… do you have any plans for this evening?”

Carrot Top blinked in surprise and then smiled contentedly. Things were really looking up.

***

Sometime earlier

Somewhere by the road in the forest, two slightly burned green shapes were sitting among a smoking wreckage.

“It’s all your fault! Why did you stop working on unjamming it?”

“Because there was a bat trying to hump my earhole. Wait! MY FAULT!? Whose bright idea was to leave it in the machine in the first place!?”

“We needed it to set a trap for them! What if they got on the judges’ good side? Did you think about it?”

“Then why didn’t you replace it with something that did the same without blowing everything sky high?”

“BECAUSE, that would require taking the thaumic converter to pieces and then we would be without an oven for half a day, a day before the contest.”

“Is money all you care about?”

“As if you were different. You know what? Stick to cooking and leave technical stuff to me, will you?”

“It’s like that time in the Outland when you tried to fly a zeppelin right over Burning Legion positions. ‘Oh, they won’t bother with us. We’re civilians. We’ll save a lot of time this way.’ And where did it get us? Eating hellboar bacon and ravager eggs for two weeks.”

“Don’t remind me. I still can’t believe you managed to make it edible.”

“So… what do we do now?”

“Same we did then. The oven is blown, but the main engine didn’t blow up. If I get enough parts, I should be able to get us back on the road. So, you look around the local wildlife and find us something edible and I’ll try to talk someone into walking around the forest and picking up all the stuff we lost when I was trying not to hit any trees.”

“Should work… but we’re barely out of town. Most adventurers here will be ponies.”

“So what? They are adventurers. They’ll help. They always do. We’ll tell them it’s a quest.”

Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Ponyville Hospital was built at the outskirts of town, away from all the noisy activity of everyday life. That had been the plan at least. Now that Ponyville had rapidly expanded, the large building was surrounded by small shops and houses, from clothiers and tailoring teachers to a small temple dedicated to teaching young priests. A tall tower with an open top rose from a nearby hill. Carrot Top watched in surprise as a slender flying ship descended from the sky and approached the tower. It was lavender and silver, with the blimp envelope shaped like a giant smiling fish. Carrot Top knew some of the Canterlot nobility owned such yachts – but this one was full of armed Alliance members.

“Today’s flight from Canterlot,” spoke a voice behind Carrot Top. She turned around to see an elderly, navy blue unicorn in business attire. “They make a short stop here before flying off north.”

Carrot Top looked up with surprise.“You mean they do this regularly?”

“Yes. You see, our allies used to have that underground train going between their capitals, but with all the recent earthquakes the whole tunnel got flooded. So Fancypants, nice chap he is, offered them one of his flying yachts to use until all is repaired. And then he thought, why stop there? He bought a couple more ships and made it a business. They go as far as Darnassus now, all free of charge for our heroes. The Alliance headquarters cover all the expenses.”

The farmpony squinted as she ran some calculations in her head.“But… how much are they paying him to make this pay off? Those airships must have cost a fortune! “

The unicorn smiled.“Not at all, miss. They are in good condition, but still rather old. In Canterlot, things are only expensive when they are in fashion."

Carrot Top nodded her head and left the stranger to whatever business he had in town. She walked to the hospital and entered through the front door. Nurse Redheart was standing behind the reception desk.

“Good day, how may I… oh, hello Carrot Top. I haven’t seen you in… what happened to you?” She pointed at the bite-mark on Carrot Top’s coat.“Let me take care of this.”

She walked out from behind the desk and stood on her hind legs, waving her front hooves in the air for a moment, before pressing one to the farmpony’s side. There was a brief flash of green light and the coat smoothed, the bruise underneath disappearing.

Carrot Top smiled gratefully. “Thank you. So, you’ve became a priest? It must make your work a lot easier.”

“Technically a druid,” responded Nurse Redheart. “And no, not really… I mean, yes, it helps a lot with injuries. But we also have a lot more patients now. Ponyville’s population has doubled and our staff hasn’t. Also, not all can be cured with a wave of a hoof.”

“Don’t druids have other curative powers?” asked Carrot Top.

“They do. But I’m just a beginner. I spend most of my days here and when a day off finally comes, I can only sleep all day. I don’t have the time to go out and level up. Plus, some ailments still require the standard approach. Magic is best for curing things suffered while adventuring. My regular patients still require regular check-ups. The doctors are even busier than I am. For the same reason I can’t hire anyone to take my place while I go adventuring. Healing powers can’t substitute for actual medical knowledge.”

Carrot Top listened to the rant, smiling sympathetically.“So, I was told you needed help?”

Now it was the nurse’s turn to smile gratefully. “Oh yes, it’s Note… one of my patients. He was out in the forest looking for truffles, when he encountered some kind of a predator. It didn’t catch him but the panicked pig pulled him right through a patch of poison joke. By the time he got home, the pig sprouted wings, bit through the rope and hasn’t been seen since. But him…”

Nurse Redheart shuddered.“His face got all rearranged. It doesn’t seem to hurt, but he looks as if drawn by a clumsy pre-school filly. He stays in the ward and doesn’t let anyone see him.”
She turned and rummaged through the contents of the desk before producing a short list.“I have a poison joke antidote formula from Zecora. I’ve already managed to get most of the ingredients. But the few missing ones grow in Everfree.”

Carrot Top studied the list for a moment. Most of the ingredients were already crossed off and she recognized the names of all that were left. “Soo... you need me to go into the Everfree forest, find the three missing herbs and bring them back to you? No crawling through dungeons or slaying anything?”

Nurse Redheart chuckled at the suggestion.“Goodness no. Just bring me the herbs. Most of the forest this side of the river should be relatively safe... well, as safe as it ever gets. You have all the equipment and everything?”

She gave Carrot Top a concerned look. The farmpony grinned nervously. “Yes, of course. I have done these things before. There will be no problem.”

***

Carrot Top sighed in frustration. She was completely lost. She pulled off the hat of her beekeeper suit, the closest to adventuring gear she could find, and strained her neck to get a better view of her surroundings.

Finding all the herbs on her list had been easy. Avoiding local wildlife while paying close attention to the plants at her feet – not so much. Doing both while keeping track of where she was going proved beyond her skill.

As she put the hat back on and resumed her walk, Carrot Top once again facehoofed mentally at not getting herself one of those magic stones everypony seemed to use nowadays. If she had, she would already be home. As it was...

A thunderous roar shook the forest, causing Carrot Top to squeal and duck. Something was nearby, something huge and angry. She tried to run away from the noise but in her haste she only succeeded in hitting a tree head-first, causing her to waddle around dizzily, losing all sense of direction in the process. No, blind panic wasn’t good. She was no pig. She needed to put herself together. She sat down and covered her head, hiding among the surrounding bushes and waiting for the horrible sound to go away, still as a piece of rock, not daring to even tremble. Whatever it was, it had to be carnivorous. If she was found, she would end the day as a meal, nothing more.

Pleasegoawaypleasegoawaypleasegoaway...

It was only after the forest grew silent again that she tried to get up and check her surroundings once more. Her forehead still throbbed, a wide-brimmed hat having done little to soften the blow. She needed to find a way out fast, before... was it light in the distance? Carrot Top walked cautiously towards it. Soon she could peer from between the trees. There, in a clearing, by the entrance of a huge cave, stood a large obelisk, a sigil on its face glowing with warm, honey-coloured light.

This certainly wasn’t what she was looking for. Worse still, hadn’t the roar come from that cave? She wanted to get away but somehow managed to walk right towards it. Perhaps she had hit her head harder than she thought...

Suddenly, she spotted some movement inside the cave. Instinctively she stepped back and hid, before realising that whatever it was, it was way too small to be a monster she had imagined. She saw several hunched shapes and a glint of metal. Then the creatures came into full view and Carrot Top nearly panicked again.

The Horde! Here?

The group was wearing mismatched colours, clearly an adventuring band rather than a military unit. There were almost a dozen of them, fair-skinned elves, a pair of disgusting, obviously undead humans, a tauren with a broken horn and a shattered shield... suddenly Carrot Top realised almost everyone in the group was visibly injured in some way. Some of them were wearing bandages, some limped, their armours were dusty and dented, as if they had been trampled into the ground by a stampede. The tauren, visibly a leader of some sort, growled at the others angrily in a language the pony didn’t understand. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a stone with a green glowing rune. Most of the group did the same. Others took out whistles and blew, causing a trio of slender, foreign-looking manticores to swoop in from the sky, saddles strapped onto their backs. One hunched humanoid with absurdly large tusks went into the nearby bushes and returned astride a strange vehicle with a roaring engine and a spinning propeller on top.

Carrot Top crawled backwards, trying to move fast while not making much noise, her instincts screaming that she is failing at both. Luckily, no pursuit seemed to come her way. Once out of sight, Carrot top turned and started walking away at a brisk pace, putting all her strength of will to not run blindly again. This wasn’t good at all. Whatever she had stumbled upon must have been way beyond her level...

What is it with this day? It started so well. There was supposed to be no fighting. And now... if they find me, I’m dead. There is no way I can fight any of them.

Her thoughts travelled back in time, to the first real fight of her life. It was during a vacation trip to Appleloosa that had gone horribly wrong when a tribe of buffalos took offence at the apple trees being planted on their ancestral ground. Carrot Top still remembered herself among the chaos, jumping out of the window to land on the back of a charging buffalo. It was as exhilarating as it was terrifying. But that fight was different. Despite all the collateral damage, nopony died. They used pies as ammo. The worst that happened was a mild concussion one buffalo got from running into an anvil. And then there was a peace treaty and everything. But this war? It was completely different, grim and brutal, a threat to...

Carrot Top froze. Something wasn’t right. She didn’t hear or see anything, but some primal instincts of a plant eater made her shudder involuntarily. A predator was there and she was the prey.

She sniffed at the air. It wasn’t strong, just a whiff, sweet in a disgusting way that felt so wrong, her stomach twisted in protest. It reminded her of one time she left a bag of potatoes in the corner of the barn, forgetting about it for weeks. It was summer and when Carrot Top finally stumbled across the bag by accident, the contents were already semi-liquid... This smell didn’t belong in the forest. If there was anything edible here, something would eat it. There was no time for anything to rot...

A sound joined the smell, a silent snicker that grew into a mocking cackle. It was obviously female, but it too felt wrong, raspy as if coming from someone awfully ill. It seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere, circling Carrot Top as she turned, her eyes darting left and right in search of the unseen enemy. It spoke in the same mocking tone, but the language didn’t resemble anything the farmpony had heard.

Frightened out of her wits, but still determined to defend herself, she reached into her bag and pulled out her parasprite swatter, swinging it frantically with her mouth. The reek of decay became overpowering and a second later, Carrot Top saw the face of the enemy mere feet from hers, two pinpricks of yellow light staring at her from a mass of rotten meat and bone.

Time seemed to freeze as Carrot Top stared back at the undead. It was one of the two she had seen at the cave, an unnaturally thin, hunched body clad in a ragged and spiky leather armour, bare bones visible from underneath, two long, jagged knives in her hands. She was squatting in front of the farmpony, eyes level with hers, the concealing shadows fading from her to give her victim a clear view of the leering face, framed by sticky strands of seaweed-green hair.

The eyes lit up until they were burning like a pair of yellow will’o wisps in the empty sockets. The nose and lips had long before peeled off, exposing the glistening bone and teeth underneath. A small white maggot wriggled in the exposed nostril. The decayed face was not able to form any different expression but somehow Carrot Top could tell that the monster really was leering at her. Then she heard her speak again and this time the single word was all too obvious despite the language barrier.

“Boo!”

In a blink of an eye, the undead pounced forward, swinging her knife horizontally at eye level. Carrot Top’s world became a mix of red and pain. Crying out in shock she reared up onto hind legs, dropping her swatter. Then something zipped past her and her scream stopped, turned into a painful gasp as the second knife was buried in her back, a blow powerful enough to punch right through the ribs. She swayed, no longer able to do anything, her body reduced to following the inertia of the repeated stabs. She was already dead, just needing the time to fall down, but the blows kept coming.

Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

Screed walked away from the counter, using the short break to stretch. He wasn’t likely to have a lot of time to rest - there was a large group of ponies forming in the square, one of the local guilds visibly preparing for a raid. A huge, unhealthy-looking pony armoured in spiked black plate was rearing before the group, a double-bladed axe held in his teeth. He dropped the weapon onto his hooves and spun it dextrously between his forelegs before bringing the heavy tip down with such force that it embedded itself in the cobbled street.

“Ponieeeeess!” he roared at the top of his lungs.“What is your professiooooon?!”

He was answered by a moment of silence, followed by hesitant declarations.

“Mining and engineering.”
“Herbalism and alchemy.”
“I’m a herbalist and a scrybe.”
“Mining and blacksmithing.”
“Enchanting and archeology.”
“Archeology? Seriously?”
“What’s wrong with archeology?”
“I always wanted to be a baker…”

The death knight kept listening with an unamused expression on his muzzle. When finally the declarations ceased, he cleared his throat and addressed the crowd again.

“It is as I feared then! Nopony in our illustrious guild does skinning or leatherworking! Those of us who want to improve their armour are forced to rely on outsiders or the auction house!”

He paced in front of the group as he continued talking.

“This could be acceptable for a lesser guild, but for a famous military unit like ours, this cannot stand! Unless we can find a new recruit with the right skills, one of you will have to learn it.”

He stopped in front of a green-coated pegasus stallion dressed in white robes.

“I really don’t think we need archeology. It would be best if it is you.”

The pegasus scrunched his face. “No way, skinning is gross. Besides, it’s useless without leatherworking and I won’t drop enchanting. If you want better armour I can enchant it for you.”

The leader looked down on him. “Gross? Oh, you’re a pony-born, aren’t you? Well then, it wouldn’t be right to force you. Does anypony want to volunteer instead!?” he shouted again, raising his head.
As more ponies protested against changing their professions, Screed tuned out the rest of the conversation. All he was interested in was what the raid would buy from his store before they departed. He briefly mused over the possibility of selling recipes - some pastries took too many rare ingredients to mass-produce so there was no harm to the business in sharing them. He knew the Cakes would sell some to ponies who wanted to become their parties’ cooks without having to work with meat. As the argument was finally ended by one of the healers loudly declaring that she didn’t have the whole evening, the death knight picked up his axe and the raid started preparing to move. Screed gave his best honest tradesman grin and returned to the counter, ready to serve the short line of adventurers as the first pony placed her order.

“So, a good day of stealing customers, isn’t it?” he suddenly heard a sharp female voice.

Screed’s grin disappeared as his head snapped to the side. Berry Punch was standing to the right of the line, at the edge of the counter. The goblin forced his face back under control.

“You insult me, madam. And the customers too,” he responded in a casual tone. “They are not your property, you know. It is their choice where to shop.” He turned away from her to hand the first customer his order. “Can’t blame me for having a better location. Or for your health and safety failures.”

“I can blame you for copying my recipes…”

At this, Screed paused what he was doing and turned to take a closer look at the mare. Behind him, Legassi emerged from the tent, curiously turning towards the conversation.

“Wrong again, madam,” said Screed. “These are pretty standard cakes, you can get this kind all over the world. Nothing there that belongs to you.” He kept staring at Berry Punch. Her body language was weirdly rigid and there seemed to be a slight slur to her voice.

“Standard my rump! It’s a generations old family recipe!” she suddenly shouted, causing the whole line to turn their heads towards her. “It only seems ‘average’, because you made a lousy job of copying it!”

The crowd shifted, the neat queue turning into a half-circle around the counter as the rest of the raid approached the stand, eager to observe the unfolding drama. Both goblins stepped forward, leaning against the counter, shoulder to shoulder.

“Oh now you’ve gone and slandered my business in front of the customers,” growled Screed, squinting at the mare. “I see you’re as bad as your business. I won’t just let it pass…”

“I can prove it!” interrupted Berry Punch loudly. This earned her a moment of stunned silence.

“...What?” asked Screed, his ears twitching.
Berry Punch pushed forward, slamming her front hooves on the counter. “I can prove the recipe is mine by showing you how it’s really done! I challenge you to a baking duel!”

Both goblins stepped back, confused. Then, at the same moment, their eyes widened with sudden understanding. They turned and looked at each other quickly, their mouths twisting into identical sneers.

“A baking duel, you say?” said Legassi, leaning forward and smiling broadly. “And what would be the wager, I wonder?”

Berry Punch hesitated. For a moment she was standing stiff, her face red and her jaw clenched. Then she took a deep breath and spoke: “I’ll bet my inn against your contraption.”

A wave of shocked gasps spread through the gathered crowd.

“A bold move,” said Screed, looking the mare in the eye.

“It is high time we ended this absurd situation,” responded Berry Punch. “I’ll show you that I’m a better baker and then... be rid of you.”

“That’s a lot of confidence, madam,” responded Legassi, pulling a stool and setting it next to the counter. “And who would be the judge of the contest? I would be happy to just let the customers decide, but I don’t want you crying foul when you lose.”

“The mayor can appoint somep… someone, I’m sure,” responded Berry. “There are lots of Alliance bigwigs coming and going here. I’ll petition her to ask some. I’m sure they will prove trustworthy enough for your... standards.” She nearly spat with the last word.

“Ok, then,” replied Screed cheerfully, using the stool to quickly climb on top of the counter. “Has everypony heard that?” He waved his arms around and look around the gathered spectators. “The duel will take place here in a week, at noon. I take your entire guild as witnesses that Ms. Berry Punch has decided to bet her inn against our wonderful machine and we have accepted! You are all invited to come to the duel as spectators! I’m sure there will be enough cake left to give away some free samples!”

As the last ponies took their wares from the stand and the guild marched out, Screed left the stand and walked into his tent, followed by Legassi.

“So, it’s like you thought. They think they can outgoblin us. Ponies.”

“A challenge we can’t refuse, eh? Well then, we’d better prepare plan A.”

“Yea, let’s show them how it’s done. I’ll write to our new ‘business partner’”.
And then they both laughed ominously.

***

Berry Punch walked into the inn and slammed the door behind her. The room was empty except for Carrot Top, who was watching over the bar. The sound of the door shutting caused Blossomforth and Cloud Kicker to peek out of the kitchen.

“So, how did it go?” asked the priestess.

“All went as planned,” answered Berry, slumping in front of the bar. “Now we… wait? Am I right?”

“Well…” said Carrot Top. “It’s their turn to make a move. We are already prepared… Berry?” She leaned over the bar to take a closer look at her friend. “Are you ok? You were only supposed to pretend to be drunk…”

Berry Punch rose up to her hooves. “Carrot Top, what kind of a mare do you think I am? I have just walked up to the goblins that were trying to push me out of business and issued a challenge with all I own at stake. I made accusations I couldn’t back up with evidence, which they could sue me over, in front of an entire raid. Do you really think anypony would able to do such a thing while entirely sober?”

“Hey, have a little faith, Berry,” said Cloud Kicker, patting the barmare on the back. “We’ve talked about this. Everything will go as planned.”

Berry Punch turned rapidly towards the warrior. “And if it doesn’t? There are so many things that could go wrong. What if… they just sabotage your oven? It’s hard to steal something this big.”

Blossomforth shook her head. “I can handle sabotage. And even if not, I have tasted their work and yours. I’m sure they could make even a dragon edible. But, they are engineers. You’re a cook. You know how to make things tasty, not just edible. You can just win it fair.”

“I hope you’re right,” said Berry Punch hesitantly.

“Of course she is,” smiled Carrot Top. “We are the best best bakers outside Sugarcube Corner. There is no way a pair of tinkerers can beat us! That’s how I came up with the idea in the first place, wasn’t it?”

“Before the others added their own ideas, yes,” smiled Berry Punch. “I’m sure you’re exaggerating a bit - we don’t have the level to be the best of cooks. But I’m feeling a bit better. Thank you.”

***

Ixyourmom silently moved through the back yard. The lights inside the inn were still on and the rogue could smell the cakes baking inside. This task was going to require some finesse. Clinging to what shadows were available, the human peered through the door. Fortunately they were open, saving him the trouble of picking a lock in the dark.

There was a single pony in the inn’s kitchen, the orange-maned farmpony that delivered the ingredients for baking. Right now she was standing in front of the working oven, staring intently at its contents.

Ixyourmom took a cautious step inside and moved left along the wall, keeping the kitchen table between himself and the mare. He briefly considered clubbing her unconscious, but rejected the idea; his employers wanted subtlety here. He just needed to find…

His eyes widened. There it was, right on the table; a large cookbook filled with pony writing, fresh notes scribbled all over it. This was the cookbook he had been sent to find.

He was about to reach for it when the mare looked up from the oven. “All looks good. I’ll just have to make sure I didn’t forget anything. So many small changes…”

She turned around and looked into the open book. For a moment she studied the page carefully before turning back towards the oven.

Slowly releasing the breath he had been holding, Ixyourmom emerged from under the small table. His muscular frame had barely fit underneath the pony-made piece of furniture and he had to try very hard to do it silently. Carefully he reached to his bag, retrieving a single page of copy paper. Putting it on top of the recipe, he started tracing the lines with a pencil…

“Now, let me double check if everything is in order…” said the pony.

***

Ixyourmom limped through the alleys around the inn, a copied recipe tucked hastily into his bag. He ached all over from the number of ultra-quick contortion acts he had been forced to perform. Subtlety… yea, right. Should have just shanked the bitch… mare, whatever. It’s lucky I was able to copy anything with so little light. I wonder what they did to that copy paper. Goblin magic probably. He straightened, stretched and took a deep breath. At least it’s done. That was definitely the weirdest theft I’ve done in my life…

***

“So, from the recipe it looks like the cakes can be made even better once the Berry Punch Inn gets its new oven from Blossomforth,” said Screed as he studied the paper in front of him. “Say, wouldn’t you be interested in another job? From what I know, that Blossomforth lives in a cloud house nearby. I need someone to break into it and bring me the prototype oven.”

Ixyourmom suppressed the reply on his lips, one that couldn’t be uttered in front of a paying client or anywhere in public, really. Instead he opted for an exasperated sigh. “A cloud house?” he asked.

“Yes,” replied the goblin.

“Made of clouds?” asked the rogue.

“Well, yes. But since she’s an engineer, she must have some stable floor there. How else could she work on her devices? You’ll just need to get up there.”

Ixyourmom looked down on his client. “And you wouldn’t have some way for me to fly up there?”

Screed’s smile widened into a toothy grin. “Glad that you asked! You see, I’ve just made those V.R.P.D. boots and I’m looking for someone to test them for me.”

“V.R.P.D?” asked the rogue.

“Vertical Rocket Propulsion Device. Don’t worry, my friend, as long as you make sure to keep yourself upright, it’s quite safe.”

Ixyourmom took a quick step backwards. It was typical of his kind to accept all jobs, no matter how ridiculous, but even so he felt he had to draw the line somewhere. “N… no, thank you. I will find a way up there myself. I’ll be back with the oven.”

“And you better have some better payment than another of your inventions.” he added under his breath once he left the stand.

***

Blueberry finished setting up her stand and looked around. It seemed her target hadn’t appeared yet. She stood there with a bored expression, forelegs resting on the sign “Hot air balloons for rent”, her eyes slowly scanning the edges of the meadow.

I could be doing something useful right now, she thought, scowling. I wonder if he will even show up.

It was on the outskirts of Ponyville, past the mess of architecture created by the recent growth spurt, no buildings around except for a couple of cloud houses hanging above, clearly moved here by their owners seeking peace and quiet. Further in the distance some creatures could be seen moving about, occasionally bothering the ponies taking the road towards the Fire Swamp, but the meadow was free of any adventuring activity. After five minutes Blueberry sat down in the shadow of the balloon behind her and started daydreaming.

She was woken up by the sound of approaching feet. Realizing that she must have dozed off, the mare jumped up, taking a second to catch her balance as the legs didn’t quite catch up with her brain.

A large man in dark leather clothes was standing in front of her, looking down at the sign in front of her. “So, you have hot air balloons for rent, yes?” He asked. “How much would it be to rent one for… ten minutes?”

Blueberry looked at him in confusion before remembering her purpose. “That would be… how much do you have?”

“What?” The man’s moustache bristled with anger.

Blueberry stepped back, turning red in the face. “I’m sorry, It’s just that I’ve never rented to humans and that gold to bits thing still escapes me. Will four silver be ok, sir?” she blurted out quickly.

Calmed by the explanation, the human dug his hand into his purse. “Here. How do I steer it?”

Blueberry shrugged. “You don’t. Unless you have some creature to pull you, it will move with the wind. But if you’re looking for a balloon, it means you just need to go up, don’t you?”

The man looked up at a large cloud house almost directly above him, then down at the mare. She returned his gaze with curiosity.

“Soo… are you sightseeing, or do you need somewhere high to fall from?”

***

“And then I had to rent him the wheelbarrow too. We might not see it again, if you ask me,” scowled Blueberry as she recounted the events back at the farm. “I thought those bags they use can hold all kinds of stuff. I heard a story of one paladin bringing a three yard long dragon head with him to Stormwind…”

“That’s only the real rich ones,” answered Carrot Top. “If this guy could afford a bag that’s bigger on the inside, he wouldn’t do small-time stuff for goblins, would he?”

She reached to her saddlebag and tossed a small bag to her farm-hoof. “Here is your extra payment, as we agreed. You can go return the balloon to Cherry now. And don’t worry about the wheelbarrow. It needed replacing anyway.”
Blueberry caught the money with her teeth and put it away. “Will you tell me what it was about, at least? Or is it some kind of big adventurer secret?”

“I’m not an adventurer!” snapped Carrot Top, louder than she intended. She exhaled and smiled. “But yes, it’s a secret. And you know what they say about secrets.”

“Two can hold a secret if one of them is dead?” suggested Blueberry with a smirk.

“Yea,” answered Carrot Top. “And that’s not even true anymore. I hope everything goes as planned.” Or else I WILL have to take up adventuring...

***

Screed stared into the blueprints.

“You sure, you weren’t followed? I’ll pretend I don’t know you if you were.”

Ixyourmom looked around nervously. It was already past the sunset and the goblins had closed their store for the night. There were few ponies left in the street, but none of them seemed close enough to see what was going on inside the tent.

“I’m a professional. Now, is that everything you need from me, or do you want me to…”

“Hold on a sec, partner, “ said Screed, raising one hand. “I just need to check those.”

He returned to reading the papers before him. “You’re seeing what I’m seeing Legassi? You said there would be another raising agent.”

“Yes, “ answered the other goblin, now half buried in the innards of a bulky device. “Now those notes in the recipe make sense. And it looks like it’s no trap. She really made it work. With good goblin parts.” He paused, taking a moment to untangle himself from the machine just so he could smile smugly at his partner. “Only the piping is her making.”

“Is that so?” asked Screed. “Pony engineering. This is turning out better that I expected.” He turned towards the human. “It turns out we will need something from you after all. Luckily, there are some shops still open at this hour.”

***

It was early morning the next day when Blossomforth approached the goblin stand, flanked by two serious-looking town guards. Since no customers were in sight yet, there was nobody at the counter. The priestess tapped her hoof on it loudly.

Screed’s groggy face emerged from a nearby tent.

“May we have a moment, sir?” asked one of the guards, a grey pegasus stallion.

The goblin’s ears drooped a little. “What seems to be the problem, officer?” he asked.

The pegasus approached the goblin and looked down on him.”This citizen’s home was robbed yesterday. There are some witnesses that claim a suspect might have brought his loot here.”

Screed’s eyes grew big and for a moment he stared at the guardspony in silence. Then he straightened himself and stepped forward, almost poking his nose into the pegasus’ muzzle. “Are you accusing me of being a fence?”

“Worse than that, I’m afraid,” said Blossomforth, joining the two. “I’m an engineer and what the thief stole was one of my latest inventions, created on commission for an important customer. I think you had it stolen from me for your own use.”

“Ohhh… so that’s what you’re after,” said Screed, squinting. “I bet whatever it was, it was for that bankrupting inn over there, right?”

Blossomforth’s jaw clenched. “The details of my business arrangements are not for you to know. However, you are right in that the invention was commissioned by an inn. It was a prototype techno-magical oven. Since everyone knows you are to take part in a baking duel in a couple of days…”

“Nonsense!” interrupted Screed. “We are goblins! Our engineering is superior to anyone else’s! If we need a superior oven, we can build it ourselves. You don’t even have hands and you’re trying to tell me you’d build something better than I can? That’s even more insulting than calling me a thief!” He shook his fist in front of her face for emphasis.

“Even the best take shortcuts when there is little time, don’t they?” asked the other guard, a lavender pegasus mare. “That reminds me. There have been some complaints about the noise from your neighbours. There’s been sounds of loud banging all through the night.”

“I had a moment of inspiration and decided to upgrade my oven. I couldn’t do it during working hours, as I need it to work when there are customers. And if they have the gall to complain about the noise…”

Legassi emerged from the tent, his face just as groggy, a bandage wrapped around his head. “...perhaps they can tell you which of them threw that horseshoe at me? I think that counts as aggravated assault.”

The male guard swallowed loudly “We shall look into it, sir. Now, miss, Blossomforth, what exactly are we looking for?”

“Yes, what exactly?” asked Screed. “Not an audience, I hope? I’m already being falsely accused here, and if you wait a moment, you will be slandering me in front of my morning customers. For your own good, I’d say you should hurry.”

Blossomforth walked past him and went straight for the goblins’ vehicle. “There were some blueprints stolen along with the machine. If they spent the night working, I’m not expecting to find it whole. Rather, I’m guessing they integrated it into their own device. Since I stamp my products with my cutie mark, I will be able to identify any parts I manufactured…”

“Wait a second!” Legassi rushed past her, putting his hand on the side cover of the machine. “You’re an engineer and working for our competition. You really think we’d just let you look into our inventions?”

Blossomforth tried to push his hand aside, be he wouldn’t budge. “That would only matter if they were your inventions. Move it.”

The male guardspony cleared his throat. “I’m afraid he’s right, miss, considering the circumstances. We don’t want to complicate the situation further.”

“I can take a look for you,” volunteered the female guard. “Would you be satisfied with it?” she asked Legassi.

The goblin took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. “I guess I will have to, officer. Let’s get it over with quickly.”

He stepped aside and opened the cover. The guardsmare walked up to it, before stopping and turning towards the priestess. “Erm… I need to know what your cutie mark looks like first.”

Blossomforth stared at the guard for a few seconds before growling and briefly flipping up the hem of her robe. The guard turned back towards the machine and peered inside. For about a minute she examined the insides of the machine in silence. Finally she spoke. “Miss Blossomforth? There is nothing here.”

“What?” Blossomforth stared at the guardsmare in disbelief. “There has to be. Check near the connections.”

“I already have, miss. If your cutie mark was there, I’d have found it by now. No signs of it being polished off either. I’m afraid your stolen oven is not here.”

Blossomforth rushed towards the device, but Screed stopped her. “What kind of trick are you trying to pull here?” she growled at him.

“No trick at all, miss, “ responded Screed. “It’s you who are trying to frame honest merchants to hide your own failure.”

“What. Did. You. Say?” Blossomforth’s wings were flared and her teeth exposed. She almost looked like a creature out of some human knight’s coat of arms.

“You heard me, miss,” said Screed with a sneer. “There is no great conspiracy to get your friend out of business. We are simply better at it. The only one at fault for her going bankrupt is you. You were the one who brought a lethal disease under her roof, scaring away the customers. And now you’re trying to shift the blame to us, telling these fine officers that I stole your design. Are you sure it ever existed?”

All four pairs of eyes turned toward Screed, who continued with a widening smile. “An oven, supposedly superior to goblin engineering, surely a marvel to behold… so conveniently gone, along with all the designs, before it could be delivered to the customer.”

He turned towards the two guards. “I won’t file a complaint. I can see that you’re only doing your job here. But if I were you, I’d take a closer look at the mare who keeps wasting your time. Perhaps you will be able to make an arrest for your trouble after all.”

“My apologies, sir,” said the stallion. “We will not bother you any longer.” He then turned towards Blossomforth, who was standing stiff as a board, muttering something incoherently through clenched teeth. “I think it’s time for us to leave.”

It took them a few nudges to get her to turn around and walked away from the store. All three ponies walked in silence, ignoring the first customers appearing in the street. It was only when they turned the corner that the lavender mare removed her helmet and handed it to the male guard.

“Thanks a lot, cousin.”

Just then a hooded, yellow-coated mare approached the three with an energetic trot. “We found it,” she whispered.

***

Blossomforth raised her head from the mess of junk piled in the ditch by the side of the road.

“Just as I thought, they figured it out. All the marked parts are here, along with the chassis. Their rogues must have spent the night running around to get all the pieces they didn’t have at hand.”

“So... what you are saying is…” asked Carrot Top in a tense whisper.

Blossomforth looked her in the eyes. “Everything is going…” She paused for emphasis and then sneered widely “Just as planned.”

Carrot Top bonked her on the head with her hoof, then pushed forward, pressing her forehead to hers.

“Don’t… you… dare… jinx it.”

Author's Note

So, another half a year has passed... I suck at updates.

Next chapter, the big finale!

Also, an unusual request: Would someone be willing to make a tvtropes page for this story? I like making those, but it doesn't seem right to make one for my own story.