Chapters Dash and Twilight get The Munchies.
It's like chemistry! But illegal!
"C'mon Twilight! You're into all that chemistry stuff!" the rainbow-maned pegasus protested. "It's just another chemistry lesson!"
Rainbow Dash looked out the window nervously while Twilight worked on the drug. She bit her lip and turned around. "How long until it's ready?"
Twilight put the frosting in with the joke leaves, and mixed the concoction. Finally, it was ready.
Rainbow picked up the beaker with her mouth, and set it down on the floor, before reaching into her saddlebag and taking out a glass vessel. She poured the Frosted Joke into the vessel, before lighting it, and waiting for smoke to start rising. She placed her mouth over it for a while, before staring at Twilight.
"Try it."
Twilight and Rainbow leaned against the wall. The air was thick with smoke, and Twilight and Rainbow were giggling quietly to themselves. Soft hip hop played from Twilight's iPod, although it wasn't very loud.
"Hey...Dashie..." Twilight said, turning to Rainbow.
Rainbow and Twilight barged open the library door, releasing a cloud of dark smoke, and two very hungry mares.
Ponies looked at the library, which had smoke pouring from all the windows. From Canterlot Imperial Castle, Celestia watched the plume of smoke from the balcony facing Ponyville. She turned to the guard behind her.
"Captain, assemble a scout team to ensure there isn't a dragon there again. If it is, I want it eliminated. I hear that their scales make excellent body armor and I wish to overhaul troop equipment. The world is a dangerous place, what with the Anglo-French Bloc imposing martial law upon the Spanish colonies, and the Neo-Soviets issuing the public statement that the Western world is going home in a fucking ambulance - Their words, not mine."
Dash and Twilight walked through the streets of the Human-Equestrian Cohabitation Area. Dash looked into a window, at a human woman and a stallion cuddled up on the sofa, watching the news. Dash couldn't hear anything, but the picture showed a man being tortured, followed by the words This is what goes through a child's mind every time you think of rebelling against the State. Think patriotic. Love the State.
Dash turned to Twilight, who was moving her head backwards and forwards, looking at her reflection in a window, to the bemusement of the pony inside. Eventually, Twilight stuck her tongue out at the pony, and walked on. A loudspeaker over their heads crackled into life.
"Citizen reminder: Inaction is conspiracy. Report counter-behavior to your local protection unit immediately. "
Author's Note
Oh god why.
Dash and Twilight get The Munchies.
Metal Wolf REX Chaos Gear.
The two mares continued down the street. Eventually, they reached a bus stop. It was vandalised, with graffiti seeming to illustrate a war between a pony racist and a human racist before reaching a compromise that hybrids were scum. Dash grunted. "I don't see their problem."
A human popped his head out of a window. "Shut the fuck up! I'm trying to watch a movie! God damn!"
"Mr. President!" the general called. "Mr. President, we have a crisis!"
The President looked over the document, and looked at the general. "Get him there."
"911, what's your emergency?" the operator said, holding her coffee.
"Officers closing on suspect." a Civil Protection officer spoke into his mouthpiece. "This'll be a quick one."
The other officers in the APC warmed up their stunsticks, and checked their USP Matches. The APC halted, and the doors opened.
"All units, code 1999, Inquire, Operate, Desist."
The officers surrounded Dash and Twilight. They looked around at the masked men.
"Individuals. You are convicted of socio-endangerment Level 3. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be used against you in a court of law. Do you understand?"
The ponies were silent, staring at the arresting officers.
"Do you understand?!"
Twilight's horn lit up and blasted the officer through the head. His suit whined before calling for additional officers.
"We are so fucked." Dash said, before kicking an officer in the groin.
Author's Note
Oh Jesus, I had to involve mechs and Half Life 2...
Dash and Twilight get The Munchies.
"Individuals. You are now charged with multiple anti-civil violations. Anticitizen status approved. Implicit citizenship revoked. Status: Malignant." the Civil Protection officers said. Twilight blasted a few times from behind a car, shooting the officer in the leg. "Officer down! Come to my 10-20!"
Dash kicked the car. It sailed through the air and smashed into the CP APC, killing a few more officers. Finally, there was one officer left, he looked at the ponies, before shrugging and running away.
"Shit, what do we do?" Dash said.
A CCTV camera focused on the scene. On the other side, a man in a brown suit slammed his fist on a metal desk, before picking up an electric guitar and walking out of the room...
"Men!" the man said to a crowd of Civil Protection officers, holding MP7 submachine guns. "I have new orders!"
He readied his guitar. Two officers behind him formed a band. One on drums and one with a bass guitar. A camera lowered down to him, and began projecting to every television in the city.
"This is Administrator Breen! I have an important message to our most recent anticitizens..." He took a pick made out of gold and platinum, and began playing a tune. The officers recognised the song. A microphone rose from the floor to Breen's mouth. "Alright!"
We are scanning the scene in the city tonight We are looking for you to start up a fight There is an evil feeling in our brains But it is nothing new you know it drives us insane
A few Civil Protection officers began nodding their heads to the beat. They activated the speakers in their masks and sang along with Breen.
Running, On our way Hiding, You will pay Dying, One thousand deaths Running, On our way Hiding, You will pay Dying, One thousand deaths Searching, Seek and Destroy Searching, Seek and Destroy Searching, Seek and Destroy Searching, Seek and Destroy
The officers were fully rocking out now. Breen made a middle finger gesture to the camera, before continuing.
There is no escape and that is for sure This is the end we won't take any more Say goodbye to the world you live in You have always been taking but now you're giving
The officers and Breen repeated the chorus. In the city, a few citizens were starting to like the song. Twilight and Dash looked at the screen.
"Is this how human politicians operate?" Twilight asked.
The Civil Protection officers held up emergency flares as Breen entered the guitar solo. As Breen played, the Citadel began releasing thousands of flying scanners. More officers, armed with SMGs and surgical strike units ran out the door. Dash began headbanging and Twilight shot another officer wielding a pistol with her magic.
Our brains are on fire with the feeling to kill And it won't go away until our dreams are fulfilled There is only one thing on our minds Don't try running away `cause you're the ones we will find!
A Hunter-Killer helicopter warmed up its engines. The pilot gave a thumbs up to the ground crew, before lifting into the air and turning on it's searchlight to look for the anticitizens.
Running, On our way Hiding, You will pay Dying, One thousand deaths Running, On our way Hiding, You will pay Dying, One thousand deaths Searching, Seek and Destroy Searching, Seek and Destroy Searching, Seek and Destroy Searching, Seek and Destroy
Breen played the guitar louder than ever. An officer turned the amps up to eleven. Finally, the song ended. The officers cheered, before running off to apprehend the anticitizen ponies.
"Locate, Isolate, Stabilize." the squad leader commanded.
"I am so fucking awesome." Breen said, before high-fiving the drummer and bass guitarist. All over the city, Civil Protection and even citizens cheered. Of course, it was so that they wouldn't be beaten for not liking the song.
Author's Note
This is the best thing I have ever written ever. Path of The Righteous Pony , eat your heart out.
Have I not made it clear by now that I fucking love this hobby?
Dash and Twilight get The Munchies.
"FREEDOM! DEMOCRACY! AMERICA!" the giant mech boomed as it kicked a police car into the next state. Thousands of Californian Freedom Police fired their pistols helplessly as the Metal Wolf fired hundreds of missiles towards a squadron of helicopter gunships. They all blew up and crashed to the earth behind the Metal Wolf.
"Retreat! This fucker's mental!" shouted an officer. The CFP stopped firing and ran off.
A building collapsed in front of the Metal Wolf. Three Striders focused on the Metal Wolf. On top of the lead Strider, a man stood with a katana. He was wearing a baseball cap, and pointy sunglasses. He wore a T-shirt and jeans. He pointed at the Metal Wolf, before giving a thumbs down.
The Metal Wolf began firing at the Striders. The left Strider fell down, all three legs removed. The two other survivors fired at the Wolf. The man waited, then jumped at the side of a building. He ran across the wall.
"IMPOSSIBLE...UNLESS...NO..."
The man didn't answer. Instead, he swiped at the Wolf. The blade cut through the advanced armor easily.
The man landed behind the walking tank. The Metal Wolf turned around.
"...BRO STRIDER."
Twilight and Dash looked at the highway sign. It stated that the next city, City 27, was over 360 miles away.
"Oh man, I'm actually coming down right now." Twilight said. "Did you bring any more of it?"
The two mares stopped when they heard a car radio on from a crashed car. They listened to it intently.
"Reports are coming in that a lone man has joined the Strider force in LA, currently engaging the terrorist, Metal Wolf. The man is described as: "A fucking badass" and reports claim that he is none other than Bro Strider, believed dead after the Skaia Incident, 10 years ago."
"Wow, Bro Strider!" Dash said. "When I was filly, I kinda used to like him."
"Bro Strider is the brother of hero Dave Strider, who was able to manipulate time. He, and the other heroes of the Incident, disappeared shortly after, leaving police stumped to there whereabouts. The only note left said that they will return when the world is under attack from a hostile force."
Dash and Twilight looked at each other, then back at the car. "Did they mean what's happening in Los Angeles?"
"Meh, religion." Dash said, beginning to walk away. "But it's Bro Strider! He's back! In human form!"
The sky cracked with thunder. A bright column of light shined in front of the mares, before revealing a man dressed as a clown.
"Kefka!?" Twilight cried.
Dash and Twilight get The Munchies.
Why Los Angeles can't have nice things.
"But how?! I thought Optimus Prime banished you to Hel after you split Africa into ten pieces!" Dash said. She prepared herself to fight Kefka.you! "
Kefka cackled. "You don't understand. Even when I am this...weak form, I can still play!" Kefka said. "You are merely two ponies, from a little land called Equestria, off the American West Coast."
Kefka disappeared in a flash. Dash and Twilight looked at each other in shock.
"Can we just conclude that Los Angeles is fucked and get on with our lives?" Twilight asked.
"Fuckbuckling piece of shit!" the Changeling Queen cried as she threw a DVD of The Legend Of The Titanic out of the window. "Fucking sharks and fucking octopus and fucking mice and fucking why?! A fucking whaling message?! Well, stick a fucking baguette up my ass and call me a rifle-dropping coward!"
The Queen picked her DVD player and dropped it in a basin of water. "Great. Now what the hell am I going to do?"
Chrysalis picked up a newspaper. The headline stated RETURN OF BRO STRIDER! Intrigued, Chrysalis read on, oblivious to the fire now started because of the soaking DVD player.
The mysterious Bro Strider, believed dead after the Skaia Incident, has seemingly returned to combat Metal Wolf, currently messing up Los Angeles like a drunk father messes up his kids.
Chrysalis thought about the odd comparison, before reading on.
Reader Broderick S. said on the matter: "Yo, Queen Chrysalis. You fucking owe me. Come to LA and help."
Chrysalis turned around and saw the fire, now engulfing her lounge. She calmly left the hive, before the fire hit the liquid love tanks. As the hive exploded, Chrysalis changed into the form of a normal pegasus mare, before flying upwards.
Bro Strider deflected a few of the Metal Wolf's rockets. They exploded harmlessly behind him.
"YOU'RE TOUGHER THAN I THOUGHT."
There was a flash of light. Kefka Palazzo appeared in front of Bro and Metal Wolf.
"Well...shit." Bro said, before raising his sword.
Dash looked over and saw an abandoned taco truck. "Twi! Twi! Look!" she shouted excitedly, flying over.
The two mares looked inside, only to see a rotting hobo inside the kitchen.
"Oh well. Maybe next truck..." Dash said, sadly.
Author's Note
To the City of Los Angeles, I apologise.
Dash and Twilight get The Munchies.
Queen Chrysalis flew over the wartorn streets of Los Angeles. All the LACP and the CFP retreated after the arrival of Strider. She still can't believe how she came to owing him a favor. As she attempted to recall the events that led to the blood oath, she saw Bro Strider, Metal Wolf and a strange clown man engaged in mortal combat. She focused, and brought on her Cadance disguise. She landed behind Bro Strider.
"Hey, asshole!"
Bro Strider didn't turn around, being far too busy cutting up bullets before they exited the Metal Wolf's guns. "Chrissy! Do me a favor and deal with the clown asshole! I hate clown assholes. All filled with confetti and tears."that clown asshole." Bro shrugged
Metal Wolf, Bro and Chrysalis turned towards Kefka. "You coming, or are you gonna pout because I can't remember that good since being dead?" Bro said.
"Dash?" Twilight asked.
Dash opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a pickup truck stopping by them. The window rolled down, revealing a blonde woman with her hair in a ponytail. "Hey, where are you two off to?" the driver said, in a Southern accent.
Dash and Twilight hopped into the back of the truck. "Hey Dash?"
Dash and Twilight shifted closer together. "You know, if anypony saw us like this, won't they get the wrong idea?" Dash asked.
The President looked at the TV screen. Bro Strider? Betraying America?
And what the hell was that black pony-thing with them?
"This is it." the President said. He lifted up a phone. "All Overwatch forces, deploy to Washington."
The President hung up, then dialled a different number. "Department of Defense?"
The President looked at the screens. Where the hell are Solid Snake and REX?
Author's Note
I'm not gonna pretend that I even had a plot written out first. This is just literary shite.
Yo, if you can, tell your friends about this. Let them suffer too!
Dash and Twilight get The Munchies.
"Well, there ya go!" the kindly Southern woman said to Dash and Twilight as they jumped off the pickup truck. "I'll see you around!"
The two mares looked around. In the sky above DC, they saw a pegasus mare, apparently being chased by a robot. A man was riding the robot.
"Woah. When did DC get this weird?"
The two mares began running down a street.
"The White House!" Chrysalis shouted. "Let's kick some presidential ass!"
Team Queen Metal Strider landed on the lawn. In front of them was the President. He smirked. "So you're finally here."
The ground in front of the President shifted, revealing the massive shape of Metal Gear REX. The President jumped into it, and REX woke up.
"THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE END!"
REX started glowing. A blue stream of data appeared above it's head. Eventually, it stopped. "MY FRIENDS. ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE TO THE ALL NEW SKYNET GEAR REX!"
Skynet Gear REX laughed. Two Liberty Prime mechs emerged from the ground behind it.
"INITIATING DIRECTIVE 7395 - DESTROY ALL COMMUNISTS." both said in unison. They looked at Queen Chrysalis.
Dash and Twilight looked at the White House. "How'd we end up here?!" Twilight asked. "Isn't the Taco Bell like, the other side of the White House?"
Dash looked at the White House, only to see a human with a sword attack a giant robot, while two other giant robots were firing blue lasers into the air at a black pegasus-shaped pony.
"Oh shit." Dash said. She took off towards the endangered pegasus.
Queen Chrysalis looked to her left, only to see a cyan shape dive into her and grab her. She turned around only to see her old enemy. None other the Element of Loyalty, Flight Lieutenant Rainbow Dash.
"You!" Chrysalis spat. "What are you doing?"
Bro Strider jumped up onto the Skynet Gear REX. Dash looked down at him. "Holy shit! Bro!"
Dash flew upwards. She pointed herself towards one of the Liberty Primes. She closed her eyes, and began a Rainboom descent. Dash felt her hoof begin to burn. She closed her eyes and prepared for the impact. She felt something tear. Then something else.
Dash opened her eyes, to see the mech tear apart in a glorious rainbow.
Bro lowered his sword. "Holy shit that's cool."
Even Queen Chrysalis was amazed.
Dash landed into the ground, exhausted. The President turned around. "A PEGASUS?! ARE THE EQUESTRIANS GETTING INVOLVED?!" he snorted. "I NEVER LIKED YOUR CIVILIZATION. ONCE I DEFEAT YOU TRAITORS, EQUESTRIA IS MY NEWEST STATE."
Dash turned around. She looked at the President.
"No one. Threatens. My. Country." she snarled. She took off towards Skynet Gear REX. She readied her hind legs into a kick. She smacked the mech on the face, and bounced off.
Metal Wolf readied his weapons and began firing missiles at the second Liberty Prime. Within moments, the robot was scrap.
"IT IS TOO LATE!" Skynet Gear REX shouted. "THE WORLD IS MINE. I AM IMMORTAL!"
There was a jet engine whine. Multiple explosions ripped the Skynet Gear REX apart. Bro Strider jumped from the explosion as the jet flew by. It was an RAF Tornado.
The Prime Minister tuned the microphone and video camera. He beamed himself to the US Government, minus the President.
"Main screen turn on." said a technical expert.
The US bunker shook. The generals and politicians looked up in confusion.
"All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction."
The transmission ended. The Government looked at each other.
"General!" one of the politicians said worriedly.
The screen showed a squadron of F-15 Strike Eagles taking off.
"For Great Justice!"
Dash trotted up to Bro Strider, a grin on her face. "H-h-hello." she stuttered. She had no idea why. "I'm Rainbow Dash."
Metal Wolf looked in the sky. "MY FIGHT CONTINUES. IT APPEARS THE BRITISH HAVE USED THE OPPOTUNITY TO ATTEMPT TO RETAKE AMERICA." Metal Wolf clenched his fist. "I MUST GO NOW. MY COUNTRY NEEDS ME!" Metal Wolf took off into the sky, grabbing a Tornado and riding it into the distance.
Queen Chrysalis looked at Twilight. The unicorn looked at her with a expression of major annoyance.
Bro, Chrysalis, Dash and Twilight formed a circle.
"Team Sparkle Rainbow Strider Queen! Let's fucking rock and fucking roll!" all said in unison, before running at the invading British.
Dash and Twilight looked at the Taco Bell. Their eyes were wide with amazement. Dash put her hoof forward to push the door open.
There was a jet engine whine, then a whistling sound. There was a large explosion, leaving Dash and Twilight standing at the doors of a destroyed Taco Bell.
"OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE! " both shouted at once.
Author's Note
Annnd that's the end of that mindfuck.
Next project will come soon.
