Personal Logs: Doctor Honey Bun
Chief Entomologist
Z-14 Deceptum Splicing Lab

War changes things, farmers become soldiers, surgeons become butchers, and scientists become monsters. When I was a little bit younger and maybe a little bit more naive I used to think that we were doing work to benefit everyone, but that feels a long time ago now. I was a scientist during the worst possible time imaginable the war had escalated after Little Horn and we needed an end to the conflict regardless of how bloody it might have been. The strange thing was my credentials had nothing to do with wartime technologies or advanced arcane sciences; I was an entomologist, a glorified bee keeper really.

So when I was asked to participate in a think tank project I was genuinely surprised. I had gotten the letter maybe a week or two after the massacre requesting my presence, some emergency summit of gifted minds from all over Equestria. At the time the ministries where just in their larval stages and this project seemed to us like the only way to stop the fighting. After we all accepted we had to pack up our whole lives and were flown out into the badlands, when we got there the research facilities were half finished and teams were assigned hastily. I had thought they had hired me for my expertise in improving agriculture through natural pesticides or my knowledge in insect husbandry, I hadn't expected the work they had for me inside our part of the facility, not at all.

Our research was experimental at best, unethical at worst. Every field of science and magic was explored and we seemed to have almost limitless funds to explore them to their fullest. Each week I heard of a new break through or invention, complex robots and cyborgs, safer and more comprehensive memory orbs designed store entire identities, genetic splicing and even spells to bring back the dead, it was exhilarating but also terrifying, nothing seemed off limits anymore, Starmetal, Balefire, even unrestricted access to forbidden spells. If it was dangerous we were given it in bulk to refine and weaponize for our seldom seen directors.

We did a lot of awful in that place and I honestly regret what I did to contribute to that terrible mockery we called a research center. Alright now let me get to the nature of our little project, when I had first arrived everypony was sworn into secrecy about the experiment before we were able to set hoof into the splicing lab. We were guided personally by Doctor Lime, the director of Animology and Gene Splicing and the pony I`d be working under personally, she was a strange one but all the directors were, and was a little too concerned with the well being of the animal test subjects. The tour concluded with main focus of our assignment, the main lab was dominated by massive tanks containing what appeared to be insect eggs, except well they were massive in size a good 30 centimeters in length completely black in colour, and there were probably about a hundred of them altogether. We were then told they were changelings recovered after the Chrysalis conflict more than a decade ago, our standing assignment was to splice, hatch, and then raise these eggs into something that might be used to defend Equestria.

The first few batches were utter failures, most wouldn't hatch, others wouldn't mature, in desperation we forced a clutch of eggs to mature into queens who seemed able to trick their bodies. They were just more resilient to changes in their anatomy, and much more likely to survive. Raising the queens proved difficult, our understanding of their biology was lacking and because of this a lot was trial and error. Despite their insectile nature they still were almost completely alien to me; the consumption of love for instance was a challenge. Changelings do seem to require normal foods and hydration to survive they seemed to feed off of amorous feelings leaving us to conclude that they might be empathic as well. All of them were inquisitive and learned to speak early in their development, in fact they seemed to have quite the accelerated growth I predicted a few years and they'd be fully grown.

Due to their odd dietary requirements each queen was assigned a scientist to look after them in hopes that a platonic bond might be formed to ensure proper development. Personally, I was given to raise Specimen 73 the tarantula hawk wasp hybrid. We felt the painful sting of this particular breed would make an adept killing machine. The irony is that these particular wasps are rather docile creatures that rarely sting outside of provocation and I wasn't surprised that my queen shared those traits as well; she was actually quite the pacifist and requested a number of times if she might be able to join the ministry of peace when she was older. I didn't really have the heart to tell her that it would be hard for a highly trained killing machine to become a doctor.

Months flew by, and so began the nurturing and educational stages of their development, each displayed exceptional prowess in adaptively and ingenuity, natural I suppose for creatures that can change shape. Each queen would go through about a grade level every few weeks it seemed, which was excellent. We needed them combat effective as soon as we could. My staff seemed to acclimate to the role of parents quite easily, I thought it odd at the time, and in hindsight I suppose it was an instinctive element of the changelings, a sort of inbred charisma to lure prey. We really shouldn't have gotten so attached to the specimens it could have easily compromised the experiment, especially since we were essentially sending them out to die instead of ponies.

At some point I had decided that this had to stop, I tried to appeal to my director and while she was sympathetic. I couldn't very well convince her adjust the parameters of our experiment let alone stop it. It was funny almost it was actually progressing so well that my pleas were repeatedly ignored to have it shut down. In a fit of desperation, I attempted to sabotage it myself, it was risky but it was a decision between either my incompetent superiors or daughter I had come to love dearly. The choice was obvious. The problem with this of course was compromising the experiment without harming any of the children, I had considered altering test results to make it appear that they were under performing, but it would impossible to do this without my colleagues getting wise, so I considered a very foolish and somewhat dangerous approach. I synthesized an artificial pheromone compound in an attempt to render them docile; my hope was that the experiment would be shut down if they couldn't perform as the elite killing force they intended. The difficult part was introducing the compound to them without the other scientists catching on, food was an option but was highly regulated same with any medication that I might have been to sneak in the compound. I can say I'm a little proud of the solution I came to, because of our facility being so large it makes maintenance and cleaning almost impossible. Since the bedding for the specimen chambers do not get regularly scheduled laundry services, I could administer the pheromones under the guise of a routine bed check. Being an administrator does have its advantages.

I received quite the scolding by the directors when they saw progress reports coming back with effectiveness drop off almost completely, poor little queens were just too distracted and calm from the chemicals they just didn't have any interest in running combat drills or stealth training courses. Honestly the best part about my little plan was for the first time since they were born the little ones had a small reprieve from all the training. They had a chance to be foals, spend time with their parents instead of having to spend all of their time as scientists and subjects. I think that might have been why I didn't get caught for so long, everyone in the staff wanted to be parents not monsters. It was a great couple of weeks we taught them useful things like cooking and sewing all the little life skills that I felt they should have known if they were normal fillies, I even taught my own daughter how to paint. I was feeling so optimistic that I requested additional educational materials so that we might be able to teach the foals proper education, of course I was secretly hoping that my own little one might get to live her dream of being a proper doctor.

I think the extra book requests might have been what finally tipped them off to what I was doing. They must have found it suspicious that I was pushing the experiment in a very different direction from the initial test parameters. After repeated threats by the directors and my constant dodging of said threats it finally reached a breaking point, one day guards flooded into our research lab and I was escorted towards the specimen chambers at this point I was pretty certain they had caught me. When we arrived all the bedding was already being stripped and sorted, Doctor Lime was there, I imagine as, more of a formality. I always believed she secretly agreed with what I was doing. Director Plum on the other hand, she was here to make sure this was done efficiently and correctly. Any hopes of me getting out of this were now gone. Plum would easily route out the compound in the sheets and I would be fired, I may of lost my composure there when I started shouting at the directors but I was just so angry I tried to explain to them what we were doing was wrong not only here with our children but everywhere. Every invention here was a weapon, every innovation was unethical, and every experiment was monstrous. I was just fooling myself thinking anything otherwise, we deluded ourselves believing we were helping our nation and I deluded myself believing I was doing anything but creating monsters.

When I calmed back down I was trapped in a cell, while Doctor Lime was on the other side of the bars. She started explaining how I broke regulations and rules and there holding me here for taking a swipe at Doctor Plum. I think she was trying to help me with an appeal that I could blame it on known changeling influence, she said it happened before during the Chrysalis Invasion, that the captain of the guard was under a form of mind control and it might be able to explain my disregard for scientific process. I really didn’t care about what she was trying to tell me. I was aware of the consequences when I did it and I refuse to believe the little ones would capable of that level of deception. She continued to tell me that my staff would be reassigned to other areas of the facility by the end of the month and a new team would continue our research with more detached methods. No more on site housing, scientists would be restricted to access to the specimen chambers only while testing, and lasting scientists would be rotated weekly to discourage attachment. I think I sort of buckled over and just started crying at that last part, in between sobs I tried to explain to her the changeling love dependency but it had already been decided.

I begged to see my daughter one last time, I pleaded and pleaded with Doctor Lime but apparently Doctor Plum believes my emotions are compromised and I was a potential danger to the facility. It took lot of convincing but I was given one visitation it was to be heavily monitored but I was allowed to bring a gift for her. Even Plum wasn't completely heartless. Even though she was probably being pragmatic about the love dependency problem, Doctor Lime was very understanding about retrieving my things from my office. A Black Opal and the Smarty Pants doll I had intended to give to my daughter for her birthday. I prepared both my gifts for my little one, including the opal so she might have a kind word to keep her safe during the testing.

Meeting with her that last time was hard, possibly the hardest thing Ive ever done. I was allowed to be with her for a full hour but even if I had all the time in the world I dont think I could explain to her that I was leaving and I couldn't come back. The guard that escorted me had the decency to un-cuff me and wait outside while I said goodbye. When I first came in she was upset that I hadn’t been around for a couple of days, I deflected her questions with the promise of presents and that seemed to cheer her up enough. I gave her the black opal first; she didn’t quite understand what it was at first but after explaining its use and providing a recollector to go with it she seemed eager to view it only after I left as per my instruction. The stuff toy was a little more bittersweet, she was so excited by the goofy little thing that I couldn't stop crying, she kept asking what was wrong and I just couldn't make anything unintelligible come out trying to speak sobbing like that. She couldn't really understand what was happening; when I did finally calm down and explained it to her she looked like all the air in the room had been sucked out. She was crying, she just looked so lost, explaining how it happened didn't really help either. She just kept blubbering about how it wasn't fair.

Saying good bye was the hardest part, I've never seen her so miserable. She begged and begged for me not to go, she was screaming as I left. I don't think I'll ever forget the sound of the door wrenching from her slamming on it so hard, the other scientists had to sedate her. It was awful I just kept trying to tell her that I love her as she was going comatose. Thankfully they at least let me put her back into her bed, kiss on the cheek, and say good night to her that last time. When I looked over my staff as they left that room with me I knew they understood. We were all going through our own personal tragedies. I did not envy them, they still had to work here, and at least I was getting fired and might have a chance of moving on with my life.

It's been two weeks since then and I'm here I don't think I would've really left but I don't have a choice either way. The entire facility is on lockdown. There has been some escalation in the war; despite our contributions we saw so little of our efforts. Too much was experimental or impractical, or just too expensive to be realistic. It all seems so distant now, like Equestria is a million miles away but I know our end is coming. The directors have sealed themselves in the Core, backed up systems are being routinely checked they even let me out of my cage; still forbidden from the splicing labs though. I know the Zebras have found us it's just a matter of time before they level this place; my daughter will be fine though, she's a tough one. Besides those labs are built right into the mineral caves, they'd be out before it'd be a danger. I've been putting this whole little memoir together to make sure they're alright. I want ponies to understand what happened here, and I want the scientist overseeing my daughter to know what we went through to raise those girls and I need to make sure that when this goes to shit I can depend on somebody to do the right thing and help them live.

With this file transfer I'm including all of my notes and access to appropriate spells and formula to help you raise those children right, password is SmartyPants.

Author's Note

So this is basically my first story ever, so I want to just say thanks to everybody who took the time to give this a read over. I hope you enjoyed it, if not well that's alright too. Please post comments or whatever if you like, just keep any criticism constructive.

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