Of Ponies and Muffins

Chapter 11: Madness? This. Is. EQUESTRIA!

And that was the story of the arrival of Cameron and Alex in Equestria, of course they did not plan on sticking around for very long. Since Cameron got a cushy inflow of money from Brians taco exploits, he mostly just stayed at the house. Alex on the other hoof was still working for Rarity, and occasionally was forced into modeling, despite his arguments against it. Were Cameron and Alex a single entity, it would be likely that they would have gotten off fine, however since Cameron was more of the brains of the operation he did most of the study into magic. However since he lacked the ability to do so he did it to understand the physics of the world he was forced into and possibly find a way back home.

“Hey Alex!” He shouted from the kitchen, attempting to get his friend's attention. He doubted that he would be able to get his friend's attention since he had recently discovered equestrian Dubstep. Seriously, you go from a world that's filled with violence and wars to essentially a world a skip away from utopia and there is still dubstep.

“Eh, its a compromise I think anyone would be willing to live through.” Said Brian, recently having returned to Cameron's cranium of knowledge. “Besides, it’s a heck of a lot better than what we have back home.”

I suppose you're right, but on the bright side there is not the pop music from our world. I swear that is what causes teenage violence and idiocy, honestly why the hell did the word swag become so popular? there are at least a hundred different sayings that would work just as well. Cameron looked back at the Grimoire he had borrowed from Twilight, the only other pony he had told about him and Alex’s predicament. He had been forced to tell her because of two reasons (three if you count her freezing him in place so he couldn't leave the library). The first reason was because of some words he had let slip during their conversations that had peaked her interest, and secondly because of Alex being a dumbass after the rescue plan.

He winced as the memory flowed back into the forefront of his mind.

*Several days ago, after the rescue mission and Alex cleaning up the ocean of bananas.*

Alex trotted into the library, curious to the status of his friend. “Hey, you girls here? Or is it back to a 50/50 split on gender again?” He yelled out to the general library, hoping for a response. He did get a response, however it was in the form of a bucket of hair dye, the heaviest duty pink that was available. Rather than a simple kind of dye that one would find in a normal store, Cameron had worked with Twilight to create a perfect prank spell that made it spread to his entire coat.

“And that's what you get for dragging me here in the first place, the hospital does not count because you made me have to pick you up from a hospital. You know I hate those with a passion yet you always find some way for me to get trapped in one on my birthday. Not even going to ask how you pulled the last one off.”

        Alex just stood in place, blank look on his face.Oh sweet Celestia, I think I broke him. Thought Cameron. Then Alex just slowly turned towards Cameron, and looked him dead in the eyes.

        “So help me when we get back to earth I am going to kill you and hide your body in several dumpsters.” He said, eye

twitching with an insane grin on his face.

Nope, not broke. He just needed to reboot.

        Twilight spoke up next, “what is this earth place anyways? You guys talk like you're not from around here and you act a little... funny.”

CRAP! Mission abort! Mission abort! Screamed Cameron in his head, realizing that Alex had just given away something that could likely change the perception of the universe for everyone forever. “Well you see Twilight there is a perfectly good- CRIMSON, RUN!” He shouted, attempting to create a clean getaway from the mare, there were a few things he did not want to deal with and talking about interdimensional travel was not something he felt like doing today. Or really any day.

        The two began to run out of the library when he heard the sound of a magic blast being fired and no longer heard Alex’s galloping. No time to save him, every pony for themselves! Right as Cameron shoved open the door he was hit with a bolt of magic.WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME? He realized he felt fine and attempted to move so that he could escape. And i’m frozen in place... Wonderful.

 “Now you know how I feel man, it sucks not being able to move.” Said Brian, somewhat sympathetic to his situation.

Okay this is really not helping with the situation, if you have something that is actually useful in this situation that would be awesome. However I know you and if you actually had something that could help I’m almost certain that would signal the end of the world. An interesting thing to note about the way Brian speaks is that it almost perfectly matches the way a normal person (or pony) would talk, including taking a breath before he was about to say something. Before Brian could even say his thoughts he was interrupted by Cameron. And no, I will not try to lie my way out of this. At this Brian simply remained silent.

        Twilight levitated Cameron over to her, an unamused look on her face “Answer. My. Question.” She said in a hostile voice that Cameron instantly knew that if he didn't, being unable to move would be the worst of his problems.

        “Okay, so do you want me to answer this completely truthfully, a convenient lie that there would be no way you would know the difference or will you suddenly have a change in heart and let us go?” Twilight just kept her face the way it had been before. Cameron gulped, and responded in a incredibly nervous tone. “Truth it is then”. Cameron took a deep breath before going on to explain their situation. “Crimson and I are actually (technically) alien beings from a alternate reality and were dragged through here when he decided to touch a wormhole that led here. I wound up in Everfree while Crimson somehow found his way to Canterlot. Brian is a splinter of my personality that refuses to die and we both got turned into ponies at some point in our transition between realities.” He took another breath. “Any questions?”

        Twilight looked at him, dumbfounded. “I will take that as a no, and if you have any questions find me later. Honestly I am tired as all heck and I kind of want to sleep. Oh, and don’t tell this to anyone. I would rather not become a test subject for some deranged scientist.” Twilight released the spell on them and then they proceeded to leave the building.

Alex turned towards Cameron. “Well, that went well if you ask me. Your thoughts?” Cameron's thoughts consisted of a single action. This action was what gave Alex a black eye, which went wonderfully with his coat.

Cameron brought himself back to the present and leafed through the book, hoping to find something that could help them get back home. Seriously, this is what I get for being sane. At this point he began to get seriously annoyed by Alex who was now blaring the dubstep so loud it could likely have been mistaken for an earthquake. Cameron closed the book and began to walk upstairs to yell at Alex, however when he got to Alex’s room he noticed that the door was open. Cameron pushed open the door and entered the room, noticing that the music was still going but there was no sign of Alex anywhere. He walked over and turned the speakers off and then noticed the slight draft.

        Cameron turned around to see that the window was open and there was a note taped to the window as well. Oh this can not be good. Cameron took the note and opened it, and began to read the contents.

C,

Decided it was high time that I actually did something fun. Pinkie’s throwing a party for someone and I figured that it something to do. Also, I am borrowing Brian’s top hat. I’m hoping that the sheer amount of wubs that are being blasted will keep you out of my room so this is just  in case i’m not back by the time you walk into the room. I also took some of the bits you had, not my fault Rarity is late on my pay. What's the worst that could happen to me at a party?

With loathing, A.

P.S. its a terrible idea to jump out  of the window as a pony. Trust me, I know from experience.

“That cheeky mother bucker... I TOLD HIM NEVER TO TOUCH MY TOP HAT!” Exclaimed Brian, furious at Alex actions.

Quick question, why would it even matter? You don’t even need that thing any more. And you told me the only reason you bought it was to show off.

“I know, but the point still stands that I told him not to and he did it anyways.”

Fine, but there is no need to plot his demise, its just a top hat. And besides, its just a party. Knowing Alex he is either going to end up crying in a corner, get a girlfriend or the entire city will run away in terror.

V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V

After several games of dice against Pinkie Pie, Alex had lost the top hat and at least a dozen bits to Pinkie. Well, now I am going to have both Brian and Cam after my head. He decided that it was now time to go and get a drink from the punch bowl. However since a completely normal party would never make sense with the circumstances surrounding Alex and Cameron, the chances that said punch bowl would not be spiked were astronomically low.

Alex grabbed a ladle and cup with magic and served himself some the punch. Hey, this is some good punch, Although I can't quite tell what it is... Huh, thats new, I never knew that you could taste sound. And that was the last thing that Alex remembered before waking up in trash can in the public park.

Umm... What happened last night? Alex thought, through the combined haze of a headache and drugging himself at the party last night. He climbed out of the trash can and cleaned himself of the trash that had gotten on his coat. Okay, never drink punch at Pinkies again. Alex rubbed his temples with his whooves. Better figure out what happened last night... And so Alex groggily set off to Sugarcube Corner once again.

Alex pushed open the door, looking around for any sign of Pinkie. Somehow all evidence that the party last night had taken place was gone, and the store was pristine. Wow, she cleans this place up fast. Alex trudged over to Pinkie, curious as to what happened last night. “Hey Pinkie, what happened to me last night? I woke up in a trashcan in the park. And I don't even walk in the park.”

Pinkie looked at him for a moment and then spoke. “Do you want the full story, the abridged version or the pictures from last night?”

Alex thought over the options laid out before him. He glanced up at the clock and saw he had about 20 minutes until he had to get work. “Eh, screw it. I’ll take the picture version.” Pinkie reached behind her and produced a box labeled “Party pictures”. Alex just sat there and looked at the box, wondering why she would even have this. “Okay, not going to ask why you have this. Not that I really care anyways. Alex opened the box looked over the pictures most depicted him somehow beating Pinkie at twister (he was suprising limber when he was drugged) and others he knew would damn him to a life of ridicule at the hooves of Cameron.

He flipped over to the next picture. He stared blankly at the picture letting what he was seeing process in his head. "Dear Luna, is that my horn?' He asked Pinkie. She simply nodded at his question. "You watched this all happen and you never thought to stop me?" Pinkie just shrugged at this. Alex rolled his eyes and proceed on with looking at the pictures. "Oh look, me crying in a corner. Wait...' He looked over the picture to take a double check of who he saw. It was the same mint mare from the train ride.

Oh Celestia, memories returning, nightmares for the next week activated. ERROR, Alex.exe has encountered a fatal error, looking for a solution. Reboot necessary for updates. Updating...

Pinkie looked at Alex, who had pretty much frozen in place after looking through the pictures. She decided that it would probably be best for him to get back to reality so she trotted over to him and proceeded to slap him across the face with a hoof. As one could imagine this was a lot more painful, considering that it was not skin making contact with his visage.

Alex blinked and then registered what had happened. “Thank you pinkie, I needed that.”

“No problem, you seemed like you needed that after the ten minutes you stood there.”

“...”

“What?”

“Ten.... Minutes?”

“Yeah why?” Pinkie asked in her ever upbeat voice.

Alex looked up at the clock to double check the time, and he had about five minutes to get to the boutique. Alex sighed. “Well, looks like today is my funeral.” While Rarity may have been the element of generosity, a laid back boss she was not. I am so dead.