My Little PonyStuck (BETA)

by Leafsw0rd

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Crossover, DJ P0N-3, Main 6, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Octavia, Comedy
Length: 3770

Homestuck Pony Edition. Gods, Time, Space, and Smarty Pants are all put through the wringer.

Read Latest Chapter for details!

A Homestuck/MLP crossover. When Twilight, coming back from research, sends her friends a game to play, it takes all of two seconds for RD and AJ to start a fierce rivalry. They soon learn the game allows the manipulation of real life in a way that defies logic, such as players being able to build on other players houses and even make machines appear out of thin air- without any Unicorn magic involved. It brings forth a completely new form, and definition, of Live Action gaming.

It also brings forth meteors.

Join the Mane 6, the Musicians, and maybe even a Mailmare or two as they begin a journey of Kings and Queens.
A journey of sleeping behemoths and waking Gods.
A journey of worlds unseen.
A journey of swords and steel and ChAos and niGhT...
But most importantly, a journey of universes... and frogs. Which may be the exact same thing.

Author's note: This is my first public story. Please, tell me where I screw up, and that includes categorizing and rating it.

Published 2012-01-24 04:12:51 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-08 10:47:04 UTC

Prologue: Not Our Story

Years in the past, but not many...
It is unknown where the Game first began. How would one know? It's been part of Existence since before anyone alive could possibly remember, and anything that did exist at that time must have been destroyed a million times over. What is known is that the Game is undeniably the most complex and convoluted thing in Existence, and considering that Existence contains Pinkie Pie's mind, this means a lot.

It is a story, told a million times over. This story changes every time, no two "sessions" the same. There are always heroes, always players but they can be of any intelligent species, and there may be four of them, or six, or twelve, or two, or forty-eight, in the one story. The heroes' each have one world, but these vary just as much as the heroes themselves; Lands of Wind and Shade, of Light and Rain, of Frost and Heat and Pulse and Flow. What does stay consistent for every "session" is two city-planets, and a tenuous stalemate between good and evil. When the story truly begins, this forced peace breaks out into a vicious and constantly escalating war. The good always loses. Always.

But the evil does not always win.

It would not surprise those who know of the game, and of it's purpose, that Princess Celestia played it once. Nor would they be surprised to learn her sister played it as well. There are certain... traits players of this game gain over it's course. Both these Princesses have these traits, and have claimed the reward as well.

Their game was a convoluted one, and one of the most revealing stories. Its players got a better understanding of the game's core functions than any other group had hitherto achieved. This is not their story. This is a story, of a completely different, yet very related session one derived from the Princesses' session. It differed in many key ways.

The players had been doubled, for starters. And none of the derivative players were as chaotic or evil as the Mage of Mind the previous session had.

This is not the story of his ascension to power. If we were following that session then we would watch that story. We would watch as he started out nice and friendly. We would watch as, during chaos, his ability to stay calm would save his pink-maned friend. We would watch him be in turn saved by a dark blue earth pony. We would watch as he brokered a peace with a traitorous rogue, and worked with him on many a task.

We would watch him be betrayed by that dark, carapaced man.

We would watch the Mage fall.

It would not happen instantly. We would watch him bottle his rage. We would watch him stay perfectly calm and apparently friendly. We would watch him collaborate, co-operate, and help his friends prepare to achieve their ultimate goal.

We would watch them as they reached up and challenged the most fearsome foe the game would face them with. We would watch as one of his friends cracked a light joke at his expense.

We would watch him SNAP.

We would watch him scream in rage, letting out the pain, the remorse, the misery.

We would watch the betrayed turn traitor.

We would watch the battle that followed.

We would watch him be the last one standing.

We would watch him claim the prize for himself.

We would watch what happened next.

But we're not going to watch that.

We have a different story to see.

Chapter 1: It begins with a Pegasus...

It begins with a Pegasus...

A very familiar one at that.

She is young, strong, and wild. She is fierce and untamed, a force of nature, a talented star. When she flies, her skill in the sky is above that of normal pegasi- She flies almost as if she is one with the air, as if she was an elemental being, given a pony's shape and a mortal's breath. Her fur is as blue as the sky, her mane a rainbow, each color glistening in the sun. She is beautiful, in a tomboyish way that bedazzles many a stallion. Her Magenta eyes are like rubies, glowing from within. She is the definition of grace and speed. Of course, if you told her this, she'd probably just stare at you.

Then ask what the hay you were talking about.

She is not the most poetic of ponies.

Her name is Rainbow Dash.

Normally, Rainbow would not be out of bed at 9:00 AM. Or at any time which could be followed by AM, if she could help it. She loved sleep, and the fact her pillow was made of the softest cumulus clouds outside of Cloudsdale did not help matters. However, there were two things which made this day different. The first of these was a parcel, from one of Rainbow's best friends- the scholarly Twilight Sparkle. This mail, while of mind-boggling importance in the grand scheme of The Game, was not something she would normally get up for. Rainbow does not usually get up for any sort of mail, ever.

But the mail did bring good cause for the other factor to Rainbow's early morning. You know her as Derpy Hooves.

Derpy landed on Rainbow's roof. She leaned forward, into what shall be charitably referred to as a new skylight.
"Sorry Rainbow Dash! Are you okay?"

The pony in question let out a groan. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked up at the clumsy mailmare. Sarcasm kicked in. "A case just dropped through my roof and landed hard edged on my back. Of course I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?"

Derpy jumped up and down."That's good. I was worried for a second there. Anyways, here's the mail-"

"It never fails, yeah yeah." The mailmare screws up a fair bit though. Dash stood up and stretched, wincing as she did so. "And why did ouch you drop it into my ah house anyways?"

Derpy smiled, in her completely innocent, oblivious way. "It's from Twilight! She said it had a game in it or something". The wall-eyed mare slowly descended into the bedroom. "She gave one to all her closest friends, and even I got one! And I was supposed to get yours to you as soon as possible!"

Rainbow mulled over this as she spoke. "A new game, huh... did she say anything about it?"

Derpy nodded her head. "She said it was multiplayer, and that the Princesses played it! And..." She rummaged in her saddlebags, and pulled out an envelope. "She had a letter with it! You should read that!"

"I will do that. Thanks for the mail, Derpy!"

The Mage said her goodbyes, and took off.

Rainbow turned around and picked the package off the floor. It was unassuming enough, just a fat brown envelope that read "To Rainbow Dash". With nothing better to do, and a bruised back reminding her that it might be worth resting a bit, she opened the package. How strenuous could a video game be, anyways?

Inside CD case. It had a very basic image of a green house on them. This house seemed to be made out of eleven parts, a roof, eight squares forming a two-by-four rectangle, and two one-by-four rectangles flanking the squares, to make a large, four-by-four house. One of the squares had been split again, it's lower left quadrant detached, and hanging loose. The only other decoration on the case was the word "Client" hoofwritten on it as if at the last minute. It was, all in all, a very simple cover, to the point of being bland.

And yet...

There was a certain something about the case. It was indefinable, but almost tangible, in it's power. It drew Rainbow in, seemingly promising glory and riches, fame and power, magic and gods, pure, unbridled potential...

Rainbow Dash blinked, and the magic was gone.

This is stupid, Rainbow thought to herself. What was with that?

It was just an ordinary video game. Nothing special about it, in any way.

Nonetheless, Rainbow was intrigued. She wasted no time turning on he computer, even with her sore back. While she waited for it to boot up, she saw the letter Twilight had written. It was written in that purple the bookworm liked, and was surprisingly brief. She had been catching on, it seemed.

Hey Dash! I'm coming back from my research at Canterlot soon, so I thought I'd give you a heads up! I sent all the other girls their own letter, and their own parcel which I will explain later. I just know that you're all going to enjoy it, and I hope I have the time too as well!

Sadly, I wasn't able to figure out the ruins. But I did make some interesting discoveries. Scrawled on the walls are images, depicting what were always thought to be historical records of a sort. But they're not, at least not entirely- one of the images seems to depict us defeating Nightmare Moon! It's Luna's Cutie Mark surrounded by our own, which are in turn surrounded by the Elements of Harmony. If this really is about us, then that means the original beings that lived here had precognitive abilities, which confirms their advanced magic.

I can't understand their powers, how they work or anything, and I don't think I ever will, even if I researched a hundred years. They're a mystery to everyone, because they've been in Equestria for longer than the Princesses- longer than ponies even! And even though they're so ancient, they've got powerful magical residue surrounding them- in a form completely foreign to me, and also impossible to recreate. Its thaumlines are seemingly random, and don't get me started on its wavelength variation parameters! But I digress; you and the girls are not interested in the BLUH BLUH HUGE BORE, as Pinkie Pie so kindly put it.

In any case, that was all me and my study buddy could figure out. I'm heading back to Ponyville. Celestia said I probably shouldn't get too tied up by the ruins, as I may find it'll solve itself in time. She in fact said I should play a video game, which kind of caught me off guard, but who knows? She always seems to know the best course of action, even if she doesn't tell you. She always knows what to say and what to do. So if she says play a game, I trust her judgement, even if it doesn't always make immediate sense. She knows better than I do. Anyway, this brings me back to the parcel.

Inside that parcel are two CDs, for a video game known as SBARN. There's one set I kept and nine sets I sent, five to you and the girls, one to my study buddy, and the remaining three to some other acquaintances I've been befriending. I've known them since we were all little, but it's only been recently I've actually gone out and tried to know them. We keep in touch via letters and such, and they're all pretty good people, so you should enjoy playing with them. Anyway, If you haven't heard of SBARN, I don't blame you- apparently, they're copies from (and I can hardly believe this myself) the Princesses' youth! It's pretty much the first thing I've ever learnt about their youth- in fact I'm actually surprised they had one! One CD is for starting up the "server" portion, the other for the "client". The Princesses say a server links up with a client to begin a game, and manipulates their game experience in some way. I don't know much more than that, sadly. Princess Celestia wouldn't say much more, so I guess you have to find out yourself!

In any case, following Equestrian Mail schedules, this should arrive the day I get home. Once I get traveling, I should be able to talk to you guys over PonyChum, so please tell me what the game's like.

I hope to see you tonight!
Your friend,
Twilight Sparkle

She had been learning. A one page letter was a rare occurrence with Twilight Sparkle. And did she actually say she was going to be on PonyChum, the messaging app? Rainbow lightly whacked the side of her head, just to check if she was dreaming.

And more interestingly, where was the second case? Twilight specifically said two, but Rainbow only had one, the Client portion. Did that ditzy mailmare take it with her? Honestly, one of these days...

A beep suddenly caught her attention. The computer was now on. Rainbow stuck the CD in and got it installing, while she started up the messaging program.

She had a server player to find.

Boy, would she get one.

Chapter 2: Finding a Server

PonyChum was Equestria’s first messaging program. It came out not long after computers did, and ponies flocked to it in droves. It still was the most popular; million used it all day, every day, and Dash was one of them. It was also one of the most interesting ways to commune; everyone seemed to have gotten the idea that putting in something weird with your typing like letters capitalized, motifs, or all kinds of weird stuff, somehow made you “cool”. Rainbow did not participate in the weirdness, per se. She just typed out what needed to be said, with no frills or motifs. Or even punctuation.

Rainbow looked at the list of her contacts. It was quite an extensive list, most of it in the spam folder. Dash still had no idea who kept leaking her usernames out, but online privacy was important, and she didn't need some random pony telling her about how she was "STUTID" and many other poorly spelled, derogatory terms. Ignoring that, only nine names remained. 5 were of course her best friends, the girls she'd go to the ends of Equestria, and beyond, for, and they were part of a special little group on her screen. They had called the group "Elements of Harmony" in the end, after going to Twilight's house to discuss it. Then Pinkie had tried to break a bottle on the screen, "Like that thingy they do with ships!", and things had descended into chaos from there. Despite Spike’s best efforts, there were still char marks on the bookcases.

The other four usernames were all friends, good acquaintances at worst. They were a ragtag group- two friends-of-friends, a mailmare, and the enigmatic pony Dash knew only as a username, shortened to "DD". She had run into them in various ways. Friends-of-friends had been introduced as such, and they were both really, really weird ponies, but in a good way, like Pinkie. Derpy had been one of two fillies Rainbow knew from when she was little, who Rainbow had guarded from trouble. At least, when she was not getting them into it. And DD... well, Dash didn’t remember. But she was cool, at least, and always seemed to know what to do when times were down.

None of that group of friends were on, but EoH was lit up. More than half her friends were on there right now; Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Applejack. Rainbow chuckled a little at Applejack's username; it was by far the worst she had ever seen, entered in a fit of rage at the technology. Applejack had considerably improved her skills since then, but the name remained. Mainly because no one had told her she could change it.

Rainbow looked among her friends, trying to decide who to contact. There really was only one sensible option, Applejack. Rainbow opened up a chat log with the farmer.

vwooshWonderbolt [VW] began messaging consarnityouuselesspieceascrapMetal [CM]
VW: hey aj
VW: you on
CM: Sure am sugarcube!
CM: What can I do ya for?

That was Applejack, definitely. Only an Apple bothered to type their own accent in. At least she was fine with Dash’s typing.

VW: did you get twilights parcel
CM: The game?
CM: 'Course I did.
CM: Turned up with the mornin' mail, straight from the office.
CM: But I think Derpy didn't give me everything.
CM: According to the letter, ah'm missin' a parcel.
VW: i am too
VW: which one do you have

She knew before she asked what the answer would be.

CM: Only the client CD.
VW: shoot
VW: that's the one i got too
CM: Darnit.
CM: So, if ah'm readin' this here letter right, does that mean we can't play together yet?
VW: yeah
VW: do you know if anybody has their server disc
CM: Both Rarity and Pinkie have both.
CM: So we could play with one each.
CM: I don't know about Fluttershy, but she's not on anyway.

Rainbow paused for a moment. She could wait until Fluttershy was on, but she had no idea what the mare was doing, besides taking care of animals of course. Who knew how long it’d take her to get on?
Or she could chase down Derpy, and get the server off her personally, maybe even ask her to play. But she had no idea where the mare was- her mail route was one of the longest and most convoluted puzzles she had ever seen, and there was no guarantee she actually had it. And getting her to play was out of the question.
And on top of that, what about the game itself? If she and AJ connected with different people that’d make... two separate groups.
A-ha!

VW: hey aj
VW: i got an idea
CM: Ah'm listenin'.
VW: we make teams
VW: and square off against each other.
VW: mine vs yours
VW: what do you say
CM: Sounds great to me!
CM: Mah team will kick yours right outtah town!
VW: oh its on
VW: youre going into space aj
VW: my team is going to completely take yours out
VW: like you wouldnt believe
VW: well have this game over and done with
VW: before you even start

This was the bit where Applejack made her rebuttal. It usually turned out good; Applejack and RD had gone into taunting bouts that had lasted days in total, and got incredibly elaborate over time. The best one they had said included spaceships, cue balls, mannequins, and baking companies, all in one sentence. Not that either of them remembered how it went, or who said it, but they both agreed it was the best they ever saw.

Whatever it was.

Where was AJ? She had normally responded by now.

VW: hello
VW: aj you there
CM: One sec, ah'm getting my pardner.

Horsefeathers!

VW: what
VW: oh no come on
VW: we didn't say go yet
VW: this is totally unfair
VW: you tricked me come on aj
VW: argh
CM: Too late!
CM: I got Rares.
VW: oh great
VW: how’d she listen to you
CM: Maybe because I asked her first?
CM: Instead of raging at someone else?
VW:
CM: Have fun, Sugarcube! :D
VW:
VW: y7u6jhj

And now her face hurt. Her face hurt, her back hurt, and soon her brain would be in agony trying to deal with HER. This day just kept getting better, didn’t it?

VW: that didnt work
VW: anyway

There was nothing. No response good enough to convey the rage, to no clever wit to turn the tables, nothing.

VW: i will get you for this aj

Real smooth, Dash.

vwooshWonderbolt [VW] ceased messaging consarnityouuselesspieceascrapMetal [CM]

Rainbow growled. That farmer always knew how to push her buttons. Now she had a sore back and a sore face to boot.

And she was facing the two hardest workers in Ponyville, with only Miss Attention Deficit Ooh Shiny on her side. SO unfair. Rarity may be fussy, but she was much more likely to be productive. Pinkie Pie was... Pinkie Pie! She was just so annoying, and always talking about something. Rainbow still made a point of not mentioning cherries to her. Ever.

On the other hoof... Rainbow turned the idea over in her head. Pinkie had a way of knowing things she shouldn't. She could be blisteringly fast. And she was a loose cannon, but that could work both ways. She was creative, too; Dash would certainly have a better time than AJ would. Pinkie would be fun!

Dash grinned. She had the upper hand; she could make this work.

There was no way this could go wrong.

Thank you for playing!

Thank you for playing the Ponystuck Beta... Or at least that's what I'm calling it.

Thank you all for looking at this and rating, but this whole story has slowly grown a critical flaw.

This is mainly my fault. I'm the type of person who constantly revises. I tend to look at things, five minutes after they're done, and say "I can do this, this & this, and make it far better" followed by revision of dubious quality. That's why this has been reduxed.

I've become unsatisfied with the opening chapters, wanting to create simultaneous stories (AJ and RD's teams, of course) but somehow, this didn't seem to pan out in practice. Mainly because Rainbow got an introduction, and JUST as things were starting to get interesting (e.g. Pinkie Pie becomes Dash's Server Player) the plan was to switch to Applejack, and go through her introduction. Pinkie Pie, Server Player shenanigans would be put on hold for another chapter or two. This was unacceptable.

Another problem was briefness. Dash's actual introduction was poorly handled, and brief, not to mention how I handled the mysterious speaker and the prologue as well. The speaker, who the more Homestuck-savvy people probably had some insight into, actually spoke the prologue in my mind, but I couldn't see a way to do that without people asking why the story was partly blue, with no explanation. In the redux that character does get an introduction, in a way, and this explains her commentary.

Another problem with briefness is that EQD doesn't take stories with less than 3000 pages at release and 3000 per update.
That's something I do want to aspire for, because I love me some attention. Seriously.

It's not that the story was bad. It's that I can do better, so I thought I might recycle it while it's still in the young stages, no big spoilers or anything have been released, and so on. After all, Homestuck did exactly that!
Expect a bigger, better, shinier Ponystuck sometime in the future!