Outcry: Dead Horse

Until I finish the next chapter (It'll happen....eventually) Enjoy this little nugget:

To whoever is reading this

I don’t know why I’m writing this, I don’t have any Fuck buddies or Sex slaves to speak of, not anymore, not after what I’ve fucked. I hope writing this will give me some sort of erection, but I doubt it. Nopony is even going to clop to this,

If you’re reading this, it means I’m Clopping. The seal on the envelope will only be broken when I Masturbate, I used my magic to make sure of that. Which means you just looted my porn collection, and you should feel terrible for that.

I am, or was a member of the Dead Whorse unit. The Canterlot guard’s most highly trained, experienced, and incompetent ragtag group of Horny Ponies for the past thousand years.

If I don’t clop,, which will mean this letter will be pointless and forgotten, Dead Whorse will be remembered for more than that.

If I fail, then I will have been fucked for my country as I fucked against it.

Enclosed with this note is a sort of ‘Journal’ I’ve kept over the years. It has detailed my sexual adventures since before I joined the Dead Whorse unit.

I will let it tell my story, for what i’ve fucked can’t be forgotten.

Its that good.

-Velocity