Humans Invade Equestria

by marcosperezbromg

Rating: teen
Tags: Lyra, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4323

Read the full description because I'm not used to limits

The year is 2039 and America is under a dictatorship. The tyrant's name: Milhouse. His plan: Universal Domination. In hopes to achieve this goal, Milhouse forces his science team to create a portal to another world. When the portal is activated it leads them to a place where sunshine and rainbows rein supreme.

Published 2012-01-22 03:31:17 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-19 03:08:53 UTC

Escaping

======Chapter 2=====+

======What the dunce is a Brony!?======

======Narrator======

The silhouetted figure approached the light green pony.

"What are you going to do to me. Let me go."

She struggled as the figure approached.

She tried to speak again as it came out of the darkness and shushed her.

"Shhhh! What are trying to do. Alert the entire planet. Look no time for explanations, I have to get you out. Name's Marcos by the way."

======Viewpoint Marcos======

I started unlocking the chains that held this alien.

Even though I don't know what it is, it just seems so oddly familiar. I also don't want the dumbass we call our president dissecting her. Or is it a he. Doesn't matter. The main point is to get her or him out of here.

"Why are you helping me. You don't even know me."

I'm still wondering how this alien speaks English. But I digress.

I don't want to tell her or him (YOU KNOW WHAT. SCREW IT. IT'S A SHE.) whats gonna happen if she doesn't escape so I'll just tell her how I tell my kids everything before they died in the wrath of Millhouse.

"Those people were going to do really bad things to you if you stay here."

She gasped.

It looks quite adorable when she does that.

I may be a scientist but I have a heart. I never (EVER) dissected anything before and I'm a vegetarian.

I only got a job as a scientist because it's the only way you can survive nowadays now that the king of the douchebags is ruling over the U.S.

Wait where was I.

Oh right. Bringing this alien home.

I looked out to the path to the portal.

I'm going to have to get past the cafeteria, the other lab, the meeting room and the theatre if I wanna get to the portal room.

Crap.

"Well this is fabulous."

"What? Is there a supermodel somewhere?!"

Seriously?

"We have to go through 4 rooms if I'm to get you back to your world."

"So."

"All those rooms are filled with the bad people who want to do bad things."

"And what exactly are the bad things that they want to do."

Crap. I don't want want to scare her.

You know what. Screw it. I'm not hiding it anymore.

"They want to dissect you."

"WHAT!?!?"

Sweet Jesus. She needs to stop screaming.

"Don't worry. I'll get you out of here safely."

I had my hand over what I think is her mouth.

She pried my hand away and started examining it.

"Whoa. You really are humans."

THIS THING KNOWS ABOUT US!?

"I've been studying humans back on Equestria. Nopony ever believes me."

Equestria? Nopony? What the deuce was she talking about. Wait let me ask her.

"What's Equestria and what do you mean by nopony?"

"Equestria is where I live, it's inhabited by a race called ponies. There's also alternate races such as griffions.

"We had ponies here, but they went extinct when one pony pooped in Millhouse's shoe and Millhouse ordered his soldiers to kill every single pony in the world. He has a bit of a temper and he's not exactly smart. He doesn't know how to divide yet."

The pony had cut me off. (Heh I'm calling it a pony now. Or maybe a unicorn. It has a horn after all)

"Wait wait wait. Who's Millhouse?"

"He's the reason you're here and the reason why there are so many poison clouds in the sky."

I pointed out the window and showed her the horrid place we call our planet.

She started squealing like a little fangirl.

"Heehee you're pointing. Ooh pick something up pick something up!"

I saw a rock on the floor (the janitors don't do a really good job do they) and picked it up with a puzzled look on my face.

"Wow. That's amazing."

ooooooooh kaaaaaay?

"So can we focus on getting you back home or what?"

"Oh right."

"Now I can't just waltz right out of here with you at my side so we need to disguise you."

There was a convenient little box right next to the unicorn and it looks like just the perfect size for her to fit into it.

I could feel a wild little grin spread across my face.

"Is there something wrong? Why are you smiling like that?"

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"Oh you are so getting it when I get out of this box."

Said the little unicorn in the box as I rolled the thing that helps you carry boxes (I need a thesaurus. I forgot the name).

"Shut up. At least you get to go back home."

A few scientists were staring at me.

"Don't mind me. Just bringing some supplies to the portal room."

The unicorn spoke up

"What are you-"

I kicked the box in an attempt to shut her up.

"Ow I was just-"

I kicked the box again.

"But I-"

I kicked it again.

"I'll shut up."

Thank you, Jesus

"Dude whats in that box?”

Think think think. Ooh.

"A robot that can feel pain."

I put on a fake smile in attempt to keep my act going on.

"That's pretty cool dude."

(In case you're wondering, that scientist asking me the question was Kevin. He's a fellow vegetarian and he never dissected anything. He's also one of the scientists who helped me out with the portal along with Anna and Ginna.)

I kept walking along until suddenly-

"Whoa- THUMP."

I fell onto the ground along with the box that had fell along with me revealing the unicorn falling out of the box (remind me to put some duct tape next time.)

The person who had just tripped me was Benjy Millhouse. Millhouse's son. The only person who knows Millhouse's first name. (Just in case you didn't know, nobody knows Millhouse's first name except for Millhouse and Benjy.)

As I was on the floor, there were two things on my mind.

1 Get the hell up.

2 RUN!!!

I grabbed the unicorn and started dashing down the cafeteria.

I could hear the Benny Hill theme in my head as I was running with the other scientists chasing me.

I was running alongside the unicorn as I grabbed a muffin from the food line.

The lunch lady didn't give a damn about the alien, she just wanted to get paid.

As I was running away, I noticed that Kevin, Ginna, and Anna were running alongside me.

"Don't worry. We're on your side."

Phew. I thought I was getting caught.

"So whats your plan?" Ginna said while dodging the food that the rest of the scientists were hurling at us."

I took in a breath and yelled out in my best TF2 Medic voice "I HAVE NO IDEA!"

They all laughed and then I heard a little whoosh fly past me.

They're using guns.

Crap.

"Get them!" shouted Millhouse as he over-dramatically pointed his wrinkly old finger at us.

"Hey guys. I have a plan now."

Kevin looked over at me and said "Well spit it out."

"My new plan is RUN FASTER!"

I quickly opened the door and hurried into the other lab.

The scientists here started hurling test tubes and dissection equipment at us.

I grabbed a metal plate and started shielding myself as I was rushing through the lab.

I could see cows in glass enclosures with mushrooms on their backs and green slime things bouncing around.

These were failed experiments. We tried making a cow that would eat only mushrooms and ended up looking like that. They do however supply us with an endless supply of ‘shrooms. Downside is that some crackheads keep trying to break in to get the mushrooms. Anyways, back to running.

I broke down the door into meeting room.

I saw a few surprised faces including that of Fidel Castro in the room. (Fidel and Millhouse are best friends)

I slid across the table knocking off some paperwork and a few potato chips. (Who the hell brings potato chips to meetings?)

I grabbed a fedora off a coat stand as I escaped the meeting.

"Hm this will suit me nicely."

I heard the rest of the guys stifle a laugh as we scurried into the theatre room.(Ok I would like to meet the person who designed this building)

We sat on some theatre chairs hoping they would run past us and think we were still running.

Millhouse walked up to me.

"I may be dumb but I ain't stupid."

"Ha. You just admitted that you're dumb."

Millhouse swung his survival knife at me. I ducked nearly dodging it.

"Okgottagobye" I dashed out through the clearly stated exit door.

Bit of a problem though. Millhouse had grabbed the unicorn by the neck getting ready stab it in where I imagine the gut would be.

I then saw her horn glow and I saw a bright flash of light blinding Millhouse and everyone else in the room.

"Since when can you do that?" I asked rubbing my eyes from the flash of light.

I asked the unicorn

"Since I was 13."

"Good to know."

I turned on the portal and entered along with the unicorn and the others.

Why did I enter you say?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

I closed the portal behind me leaving behind a very pissed Millhouse.

"Hey I never got your name."

I asked the light green unicorn.

"My name is Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings."

"Dude. You should know her name."

I looked behind at Kevin who had just spoken up.

"What do you mean?"

"Remember back when you were 15. There was a show we used to watch."

"And what's the name of that show then?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"My Little Pony. Friendship is Magic."

Memories flowed right back into my head like water flowing out of a tap.

"OH MY GOD."

My eyes had widened in realization

"THIS IS LYRA." I said squeezing her cheeks

"THAT TOWN OVER THERE IS PONYVILLE." I said pointing at the small patch of colorful houses in the distance.

"THAT CASTLE IN THE MOUNTAIN IS CANTERLOT." I said pointing at a castle built onto the side of a mountain.

"AND THIS. IS. EQUESTRIA!" I screamed in joy falling into a patch of flowers.

I'm gonna love it here.

=======Narrator======

And with that, the bronies had set off to explore the wonderful land of Equestria, knowing all there is to know about it.

Ponies and Machines

======Viewpoint Marcos======

I laid in the small patch of flowers with my eyes closed thinking about the crazy stuff that's gonna happen.

As soon as my eyes shot open, I saw Lyra staring at me. Confused.

"How do you know so much about Equestria. Do you study us. Does nopony ever believe you. What do you think we are like. Do you think we're nice or evil or passive or nice... wait I already said nice."

I put my finger on Lyra's lips shushing her.

Then I spoke.

"We had a TV show back on Earth called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. We all thought it was fake until now."

Then Kevin interrupted.

"The show was mostly aimed for little girls but for some reason it got really popular with grown men."

Then I continued speaking

"And the main characters were-"

Then Anna interrupted (STOP INTERRUPTING ME)

"Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Fluttershy."

Lyra hung her head down in disappointment.

"I wasn't on the show."

She looked up at me with adoring eyes that if cuteness could kill, she'd be a serial killer.

"You were a background pony on the show. People started spreading rumors around that you were crazily obsessed with humans and that you study them day and night."

Lyra blushed

"I'm not THAT obsessed."

I laughed and stated.

"Shall we go into Ponyville. I wanna meet the mane six already."

"The who?"

Lyra tilted her head like my dogs when they hear a weird sound. (They also died in Millhouse's wrath. I just wanna kill him so bad right now)

"The main six are the Elements of Harmony. The six ponies that we told you about in the show."

"Oooooooh."

*Facepalm*

"Ponyville's pretty far away. WAIT I HAVE AN IDEA!"

I pulled out a small box about the size of an iPad but not as skinny as an iPad (SPONSOR[Toby FTW])

I opened the box and took a microglass from the other side of my lab coat (A microglass is basically a magnifying glass with the zoom of a microscope)

I looked in the box looking through microglass looking for something.

I saw the microchips in the box labeled Speed Boots, Gravity Boots, Telekinetic Hat, ah here it is, The Portal Gun chip.

"What's he doing" Asked Lyra to the other guys as I set the chip on the ground.

"You'll see." said the others in synchronization.

I looked at the chip on the ground and yelled "CAKE OF THE GELATIN."

The chip started unfolding revealing a familiar device from one of my favorite video games when I was a kid.

I then looked at Lyra and said "I present to you, the Portal Gun.

"What does it do and what the heck did you just scream out."

"What it does is (I'm pretty sure most of you know what a portal gun is but if you don't, google Portal by Valve and do some non-shool related research)."

Lyra looked at me dumb-founded by the ability of the Portal Gun.

"Let's get going shall we."

I propped up the gun and aimed it at a the side of a building in Ponyville. It shot out a blue blur from it. I then shot an orange blur at the side of a mountain.

As soon as it opened up, I could see up to like 20 ponies looking into it, but as soon as they saw us, one of the ponies screamed "ALIEN!!"

All of the ponies the town were running around and kicking up dirt as they ran into their houses.

I walked into the portal and I could see windows being shut and curtains being closed all around me.

I saw one familiar building named Sugarcube Corner.

I walked up to the front door and knocked.

"AH ALIEN!"

I heard pots clash and bang inside the house.

Ouch.

I tried to make the friendliest approach possible.

"We come in peace."

I've always wanted to use that.

I saw the door open up by just a creak and saw light blue eyes peeking out.

"Um... Hello."

I could by what I think is Pinkie Pie's voice that she was terrified.

"It's okay. We're not gonna hurt anypony."

Then I saw the pink blur rush out the door.

"Hey everypony these aliens mean no harm. You can come out and have fun now."

I saw a bunch of doors being opened and ponies walking out slowly.

I'm guessing that they're all scared of the Portal Gun that I have in my hand.

I took this as an opportunity to impress them.

"Its okay. This doesn't hurt anypony. Look."

I shot two portals at the side of a building and walked through them and explained the functions of the Portal Gun.

They were all amazed.

"And if you think that's cool, wait till you look at these babies."

"BABIES!?"

"It was an expression."

"Oh"

I open up the box and returned the Portal Gun and took out two microchips.

I laid them on the ground and yelled out "FOX TROT."

They unfolded, revealing some shiny boots.

"My my. Those are absolutely marvelous."

That voice sounds familiar.

I looked in the crowd and saw Rarity being amazed by the boots.

I walked up to Rarity and said "Not only are they shiny but they have a special feature."

I put on the boots and started walking up the side of a house.

I tried my best to stay straight because even though the boots allow you to walk up walls, gravity is still in affect on your body.

"My my, that is ASTOUNDING."

"Thank you very much Ms. Rarity."

All of the ponies stopped chattering and looked over to me.

"How did you know my name?!"

Looks like I didn't think this through.

I could tell them about the show but that might frighten them.

Then I remembered that I'm basically an alien here.

"I have physcic powers."

I blurted out without thought. (No seriously. You are reading my thoughts right now. That's why there was no part that said I'm gonna say that part that I just said)

There was a moment of silence.

Then the cheering resumed.

Ponies started lining up to hear their names.

I named each pony one by one.

"Cheerlili, Berry Punch, Fluttershy, Carrot Top."

...... Wait a sec REWIND.

"nch, Fluttershy, Carr"

FLUTTERSHY!!! ( FYI: Fluttershy is my favorite pony.)

Should I chase, should I stay?

Stay, chase, stay, chase.

Then I realized something.

Where the hell are the other guys!?

Another great feature of the gravity boots is that they let you jump higher and float in mid-air.

I jumped out and floated on to the dirt road.

Now where are they.

I took off the boots leaving me in my socks, and pulled out a microchip and yelled

"Gadgets of Gorillas."

(If you don't know, my microchips are password protected and only recognize my voice. I put some silly phrase as the password to have a laugh every once in a while.)

The microchip unfolded into something that I like to call

The Jet Boots.

They basically allow me to double jump.

I jumped onto a nearby building and started looking for the others.

"Now where did they go."

"I know where they are."

"What the heck?!"

I looked to my left and saw Pinkie Pie racing alongside.

She distracted me and I tripped over a roof tile, rolled to the edge, and I hung on with my hands.

I boosted myself back onto the roof with the ease of the boots.

"You need to be more careful when you're scare someone who's running along a rooftop."

"Okie-dokie-lokie."

SHE SAID THE LINE!

Woops. I got a bit too excited. Even if I did say it in my head.

"So where are they?"

"Over there."

She pointed over at where the opening of the portal was and I realized what they were doing.

"Thanks Pinkie."

I ran over attempting to stop them.

Kevin was about to push the "Open Portal" button when I tackled him to the ground and smacked him on the face.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!? YOU WANT MILLHOUSE TO INVADE THIS PLACE!?"

"If I don't go back Millhouse will invade Equestria anyways."

"YOU'LL GET SHOT DOWN AS SOON AS YOU ENTER! BESIDES, THAT IDIOT CAN'T CRACK A CODE MUCH LESS MULTIPLY!"

"But the other scientists can. You know Millhouse enough. He will literally work them to death until that portal is open."

This was a tough decision.

I could stay in Ponyville and get stronger for the war Millhouse might start

or

I could go in there and (try) to stop Millhouse from taking over Equestria but I could die.

I looked down and said in a serious tone

"We can protect this town."

"Dude. I think you're the one who's mad now."

"I've wanted to kill that bastard ever since things went downhill on Earth."

"We can do that right now."

I looked back up.

"WE'RE UNPREPARED! WE NEED TO STAY! HE WILL KILL US AS SOON AS WE ENTER!"

"Your choice."

"Fine"

Kevin turned around and turned on the portal revealing a world filled with demons and lava.

"WRONG WORLD!"

Kevin quickly flipped the switch revealing the acid cloud covered planet I call Earth.

Kevin entered and was greeted by a firing squad.

I heard some gunshots followed by Kevin quickly exiting the portal.

Some shots had hit his shoulder and he was bleeding out fast.

I quickly grabbed the Portal Controller Device (PCD for short) and turned off the portal.

Lyra's jaw had dropped.

I don't think ponies are used to seeing blood.

"Quick! Get him to Fluttershy! She's the best healer I know."

Lyra crawled under Kevin who was bleeding uncontrollably and started to run towards Fluttershy's cottage.

The rest of us followed.

Anna, Ginna, Millhouse...... MILLHOUSE!?

He tackled me to the ground and started choking me.

I could barely breath.

I punched Millhouse in the face, knocking him back onto the ground.

I pulled out a pistol and aimed at his face and shot him dead.

His eyes were closed.

Is he dead.

Then his eyes shot open and he smiled his evil little smile.

"Gottcha!"

He kicked me, knocking me onto the ground. (Karma)

He aimed his revolver at my face.

I rolled before he shot me and I grabbed him by the legs and tripped him.

I could hear battle music in my head.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU SURVIVE THAT BULLET TO THE HEAD!?"

"You poor, poor thing. Didn't you hear the news? I'm immortal now. The dumb-asses finally finished the Immortality Machine. Now I can take over this world without any trouble. I can still feel pain though. That bullet freakin hurt. Now it's time for you to die."

I was FREAKIN MAD NOW!

I grabbed his arm and quickly turned on the portal.

I swung him around and sent him back to Earth.

I turned off the portal and then realization struck me in the head

"Why didn't I send him to that hellish world with the lava and the demons?! DAMNIT!"

Then I remembered Kevin was hurt.

"KEVIN!"

I rushed off to Fluttershy's cottage to go and find Kevin.

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I burst through the cottage door looking around.

"Where's Kevin!? Is he alright?!

"I'm alright man. It was just a bullet to the shoulder."

I looked around and saw Kevin with a cloth wrapped around his right shoulder.

"Good god man. From the way you were bleeding, I'd thought you'd be gone before you reached the cottage."

"Would you cry?"

"What?"

"Would you cry if I died?"

"I'll save that for when you actually die."

"Damn you man. You always save everything till the end."

"No I don't. I just don't want to answer that question now."

Kevin crossed his arms and shunned.

"Come on man don't be mad."

======Narrator======

And so, the six humans decide to stay in Equestria preparing for the war that will be filled with rage and anger.

Introduction

In the year 2027, Millhouse; the current president of the United States has destroyed the world with industry and hate. He has removed the Bill of Rights and Earth is in chaos. That is until one faithful day changes everything.

======Viewpoint Millhouse======

I stood there at the podium ready to announce the new discovery to the people who can't use it.

"Douchebags and whores." Tons of people in the audience had rolled their eyes.

I love saying that.

"I present to you a new type of technology made by these four idiots."

I looked back and saw four frowning scientists.

Ha.

As if I cared if they were mad.

"A portal to a new world."

The portal had turned on and what I saw was stupid little peaceful world filled with sunshine and butterflies.

"Uck. Alright dumb-asses. Put on your space suits and let's destro- uh I mean explore this world."

I walked in and saw a castle built in the mountains in the distance and a village nearby.

There's life here?!

Not like I give a damn. I just want more factories.

We ran out of space on Earth.

I saw what looked like multicolored ponies prancing about in the village

"Well whoever is the caretaker of the horses here, they’re doing a horrible job."

I laughed at that but the others didn’t

"THAT WAS FUNNY! LAUGH NOW!"

They all started laughing like maniacs.

"What are you laughing about."

I love being President.

"Alright c’mon. Let's destro- uh I mean explore this place."

We started heading towards the village and there were tons of ponies everywhere.

One of them was light blue, had a horn, AND WAS HEADED STRAIGHT FOR ME!

THAT THING'S GONNA KILL ME!

I pulled out my revolver and aimed it at the light blue hostile until one of the scientist's tackled me to the ground.

"What the hell was that all about you dumb prick."

"Sir. That thing was not yet confirmed hostile."

"IT WAS HEADED STRAIGHT TOWARDS ME WITH THAT POINTY THING ON IT'S HEAD"

Then I realized the thing was in front of me.

It had stopped.

It was staring at all of us.

Then it opened it's mouth.

"Oh my goddess."

THIS THING SPEAKS ENGLISH!?

"HOLY BOLLOCKS!"

The thing jumped back in surprise.

"Hey Charlie. Hand me my tranquilizer."

Charlie had opened the case holding the gun and threw the gun at me.

The little thing spoke 3 last words before getting shot.

"What's that thing."

FWIP. Straight in the neck.

“Alright let's get this thing back in the lab.”

None of the scientists spoke a word as the light green thing was hauled onto Earth.

Then I realized something else.

I wanna know if the air there is breathable.

"Hey you."

I pointed at the moron who invented the portal.

"Get in there and test out the air. Make sure it's alright."

"But-"

"NOW."

The so called scientist rushed into the portal and took off his helmet.

"The air's fine here."

"Great. Now hurry up and help us get this alien into the lab."

I hurried into the lab with the alien carried by the scientists.

The set her up on a metal dissecting table.

"We'll dissect this thing after lunch. I'm starving."

=======Narrating=======

And with that, the poor pony was left in a dark room until a silhouetted human enters the room.