Light as a feather

Chapter 21 --

Amber envied pegasi wings at this moment more than he ever had before. Despite the feathers on his flank he’d never felt any compulsion or need to fly, in no way before had he found himself admiring what they as a race were capable of, not like he had with unicorn magic. He was an earth pony, a fact he was quietly proud of, yet as the night wore on he found he was missing the ground, and the compulsion to acquire a pair of wings grew steadily larger, if only to keep Mortars threat from coming to fruition.

The colt tapped his hooves nervously, missing the hollow thudding sound they usually made when he did the same on packed earth. There was no feedback from the clouds, no resistance and he found he was unable to escape the harsh reality for even a moment.

He allowed his thoughts to wander toward Vinyl and Octavia. He knew they were down there somewhere, no doubt playing the most awkward sounding duet ever thought up, and as much as he hated Vinyl’s music he sorely wished he were there, drunk off his flank and smelling of cheap booze. A small smile touched his lips before his thoughts were interrupted.

“You’re up next ground pounder.”

Amber flinched noticeably as the mare right next to him spoke, her insult barely even registering. He turned his head finding an off white colored mare donning a blue lightning adorned jumpsuit waiting expectantly beside him. Her mane was a mess of pale blues and she was short, shorter even than an average sized mare. The pony nudged her head impatiently.

“You got a nasty case of the jitters rock herder.” The mare quipped conversationally, her insults taking on an almost affectionate tone. Amber was to busy fearing for his life to object to their use. “You’d think somepony were biting your flank they way your twitching.”

“It’s a nervous tick.” He muttered, explaining the annoying quiver. He thought he heard the pegasus pony snicker but he couldn’t be sure. Just where were they going anyway? He hadn’t realized they would be leaving the cloud…

“That magic one is a sorry sort.” The mare continued eager for conversation, her insults toward the unicorn race seeming less insolent, or perhaps they were simply harder to think up. “You friends?”

“No.” Amber scoffed at the suggestion. Once, when he thought Mortar’s intentions nothing more than sociable, he may have considered it.

“You want I should tell them to drop him?” The mare asked in an attempt to ease Amber’s discomfort. A slight chuckle told him she was only speaking in jest but for a fraction of a moment he wondered.

“You sure you can lift me?” He asked, changing the subject. He meant for it to be witty and comedic but found as the words left his lips they were more unsure and worried. In his haste to move forward he missed the slightly amused smile cross his escorts lips. She flexed her wings and hovered a moment before rising above him and settling her hooves lightly across his shoulders.

“Ready?” The mare inquired sounding bored. He swallowed nervously and closed his eyes nodding swiftly. Before he could think about changing his mind he felt his weight lift from the clouds, while at the same time his body tensed and an uncomfortable queasy feeling settled in his stomach.

He felt the small Wonderbolts grip tighten as his own body tensed at the images that thought brought forth. Rather than Mortar dropping from the sky he saw himself, his limbs flailing uselessly as above him the unicorn leered sadistically.

“Are we going to be up here much longer?” Amber whined after a length of silence in which he had no choice but to think on his current predicament, or any of several other topics either to uncomfortable or to out of reach to provide any lasting distraction.

“I’ll be cheering for you mud pony.” With a flick of her tail and an encouraging wink the Wonderbolt set him down on a small tuft of cloud barely large enough to stand upon, a faint blue streak trailing in her wake as she took flight. Several more moments passed as Amber gathered his wits about him. Mud pony? The miniscule pegasi’s insults made Vinyl’s nickname sound downright appealing…

--

Amber was floating in darkness, unsure if he was actually falling or merely suspended in a senseless void. He racked his brain, searching for answers, why, where, how? All he found were memories; instances of his foalhood, reminiscences of things he’d rather have forgotten. As soon as he realized his questions had no answers he was no longer floating haplessly in the void but standing in a familiar house, with a pony he knew to be dead and buried.

The wrinkled white pegasus mare, whom he’d shared a home with for a number of days sat on a pile of cushions. A fire crackled in a not often used fireplace, while the smell of muffins floated faintly in the air. Amber blinked several times, rubbing a foreleg across his eyes, hoping to wipe the memory away.

“You’ve grown into a fine young stallion.” The mare said as she admired the colt standing in front of her. “Come closer. Let me have a look at you.” Amber obliged the mare unconsciously, only realizing when he stopped well within the confines of the room that he had moved.

“You aren’t real.” He heard himself mumble.

The mare merely smiled as Amber caught his eyes looking to her wings in order to avoid her gaze. They were as he remembered them, crippled and bent, from rheumatism he recalled. “Who’s to say what’s real and what isn’t?” She wondered absently.

Amber didn’t have an answer so he remained silent. Instead his eyes fell on an old jar sitting on the mantle above the merrily crackling fireplace, a jar that may have held preserves at some point or perhaps it had always been empty until it was filled with its present contents. The question must have been evident on his face because the old mare did not need to hear him ask to know what he wanted to inquire. Whose feathers were in that jar?

“They belong to Princess Celestia,” The mare answered with a smile. “And those,” she pointed a hoof to a second jar setting just beside the first containing a second set of feathers, these smaller and far darker than even the darkest night, tinted despite the lack of viable light with a luminescent shade of perceptible blue, “Belong to Princess Luna.”

“You have Princess’s Celestia’s feathers?” Amber wondered in disbelief. The wrinkles at the edges of the old mare’s eyes deepened as she smiled mischievously. Amber cried out suddenly as an indescribable pain flared where his cutie mark now stood. “As do you it would seem.”

The fabricated memory shifted. He stood in the kitchen once more, the corpse of the white mare lay on the floor as he remembered her, the stench of burning overwhelming his senses much as it did all those years ago. Amber screamed in agony though no perceptible sound left his throat. Her cold lifeless eyes flicked towards him, her lips turning into an eerie smile.

“That is enough.” A familiar voice uttered calmly. Through the blurry haze crippling his vision Amber could just make out the lunar princess as she emerged from the darkness lingering at the edges of the room, her adornments glimmering in the shimmer of starlight coursing through her mane. The white mare gave a regretful smile before disappearing, the room and all of its contents dissipating alongside her.

“What the hell was that?” Amber spat once he’d regained enough of his cognition to form words and voice questions. His cutie mark throbbed painfully, his voice hoarse from the silent scream that had moments before torn from his throat.

“Forgive us Amber,” Luna said uneasily. “It was wrong of us to meddle in your memories.”

“Memories…” Amber said almost nostalgically, as he struggled to his hooves. His legs felt weak, unresponsive, even now he swayed dangerously. Around him the darkness that had housed his subconscious had become nothing more than a small room, its only entryway cloaked by a gently fluttering curtain made of thin wispy cloud and starlight.

“Were you truly so curious about my mark?” He spat venomously his anger flaring. “I told you it hurt…I told you…”Amber stopped realizing he was speaking out against the lunar princess, against royalty, against a deity far older, stronger, and wiser than he. He stopped because it hurt to speak.

“You will remember nothing of this.” Luna answered softly, her voice dripping with guilt. She wore an expression of deep regret. Despite this Amber held onto his anger, unwilling to part with it. She had violated his trust by rooting around in his subconscious, pulling up memories, twisting them for answers he himself was not fully aware he knew.

“Why?” The colt wondered not realizing he had voiced his curiosity out loud. He was aware of the raw stinging grating of his throat only after the words emerged. He found himself unable to stop them by that point.

“You, little pony, cause our sister immense grief,” The alicorn responded gently. “I seek reasons for that grief, reasons you possess, reasons I little understand.”

Amber stared blankly at her, his anger hidden by a facade of indifference. He could not afford to strike out against her, though he wanted to for her blatant violation of his privacy. Was it not his right as a pony to keep what secrets he wished?

“You have greatly taxed my magic young one.” Luna said more to herself than to him. His cutie mark writhed on his flank, as if it were not merely an image but something alive. He glanced to it briefly finding it was not writhing as he expected yet it still ached. Had she done more than merely pry into his subconscious? Had she in some way tainted his mark?

Luna disappeared as the darkness swallowed him fully…

--

A steady rhythmic beeping mimicked Amber’s heartbeat. His eyes fluttered open briefly before he was forced by the sheer brightness awaiting him to close them again. Slowly he adjusted well enough to realize he was no longer on Cloud Nine but in a bed, tubes and needles shoved deep into his veins, a cloudy purple substance dripping from a clear plastic bag hooked to a pole just beside his head.

Voices he didn’t recognize floated from the hallway, or what he guessed was the hallway. If they were in the room with him he would be able to hear them much clearer, wouldn’t he? Shoving the voices aside he attempted to sit up, but a shooting pain stopped what little progress he was able to make. After several moments waiting for the pain to subside he gave up.

“Where…?” He said murmuring his confusion. “What the hell?” A shuffling of hooves responded and a white curtain he only just realized was surrounding him was drawn back. His pupils shrank to pinpricks as the pony revealed smiled awkwardly.

“Hey son,” The massive chocolate colored earth pony spoke. “It’s been a while.”