Fear

by SilverSpoon

Rating: teen
Tags: Cheerilee, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sad, Silver Spoon, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Tragedy, Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life
Length: 2209

Normal ponies have few worries and stress. Not you, however. Your life is anything but stressless.

You were never normal. Your parents tried to shield you, and hide you away. But you were young, confused, fearless. As you grew older, you became smarter, but in a way that would hurt you. No one knew why. You grew stressed, worried, and uptight. Your family, friends, all gone. Your life, was filled with fear.

photo: Moongaze Ponies on Devianart.

Published 2012-01-22 13:27:25 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-13 04:30:49 UTC

Prologue

Fear:

(noun)An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

You've always had it. Buttoned up, somewhere inside your cruel, twisted body, waiting to get out and spread its infectious haze waiting to jump to it's next victim, before consuming them and spitting them out. Some can fight this madness, breaking out of its mist that engulfs you. Many leave the haze, but a piece of it still follows them, silently haunting that poor pony.

You were always different. Your mom always said so. You didn't care. You were born in Ponyville, and in your earliest years you lived in a small house on a large area of land. You roamed the land like you were the Princess, watching over all the creatures and protecting the little froggies and birds from the evil Count Catula. Your mom never liked you playing like this. She said it was "uncivilized" and "uncouth".

As you got older, fear was always present in your household. Fear another business would spring up and your family would lose their money and you'd be thrown on the streets.

Fear that when you were older, no pony would like you.

Fear that you were useless.

Fear of, well depression. You'd hear about those ponies who'd kill themselves, for no apparent reason. Mom would always get all hush-hush when they'd come on the radio and make you leave while she and daddy would talk about it.

When you were littler, you had no fear. But as you got older, you got smarter. But in your case, smarts didn't help you. They opened your pampered little eyes, exposing you to the real world, where no pony wanted to be your freind. Maybe because of your cutie mark. Maybe because of your last name.

Your fear, didn't show up until your later years. You had maybe one friend. Silver Spoon. No one really knew how much you hurt, except for her. You put on a mask for school only to protect yourself. Only you and Silver Spoon knew how mean teh other ponies were. Applebloom always judged people based on their cutie mark. You recall the first time you two met...

~~~~~~~

(Flashback from a few years ago)

You walked up to teh yellow filly, who was sitting next to two other foals. None had their cutie marks. Except for you.

"Hello!" You chirped, eager to make friends.

"Like, what is on your flank?" snapped a smaller unicorn.

"Oh, this? It's my cutie mark!" you reply, happy they noticed.

"Duh." the pegasus shoots back.

"Hey now, girls, we dahn't have ta be mean!" Applebloom says, giving her friends a look. "So, yah cutie mark is a tiara, right?"

"Umh, yes..." You say, while feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"What does it mean?" The pegasus asks, looking at you kinda funny.

"I make jewelry." You reply, hoping they'll inquire more.

"Tahts yur talent? Waht a wasteful talent! Mines gona be about apples!" Applebloom sneers.

Anger courses through your veins. Never has anyone insulted your jewelry before. "Well you know what? As far as i'm concerned, your still a blank flank! And you may as well always be because you have no talent!" You shriek. You look around you, growing more frantic with every glance. Ponies are watching you. Judging you. Hating you. All they saw was you victimize poor Applebloom, who now has started "crying". Your eyes sting with tears, and you run away before anypony can see you cry. School sucks. And you know what? It all leads back to fear.

~~~~~~~~

Fear. It leads to hate. Then sometimes death, and anger. You don't hate the Cutie Mark Crusaders, you just hate Applebloom.

You groan and roll over in your bed.

"It's just not fair!" You screech, and you throw a pillow at the wall.

You stand up and walk over to your wall of crowns. You made a custom crown for everypony you know! You have all their birthdays on a calendar so you know when to give them it. I care about the ponies i know... I even made one for Applebloom. You eye the yellow gold crown with rubies in the exact shade of Applebloom's mane.

You groan again, and your mind resorts back to fear.

Fear. It's slowly consuming you, eating you alive. No pony likes you. Your mind slips off to the realm of insanity.

"Get outta my head!" You screech at your mirror, which shows your reflection. You look at yourself, disgusted with what you see. Your usually prim and proper main is disheveled and messy. Tangles and snarls are present in your tail, and your coat is dirty and coarse.

"Moonshine!"

"Coming, Miss Tiara!"

You it on your bed, scowling at your reflection.

Where is Moonshine?

You hear voices outside your door. You walk over to the door and lie down, trying to hear as much of the conversation as you can. You hear your mom's voice, and Moonshine's. Sadly, you can only make out a few tidbits of the conversation. All you hear is "bitter" " so lonely lately" " needs social activities" "no friends". You roll your eyes. Same 'ol, same 'ol. Then you hear a word that makes your blood run cold. Suicide.

You back away from the door in a panic. Your eyes dart around the room. The walls begin to shift and change before you.
For God's sake, what is wrong with you Diamond?

You straighten up and blink a few times. The room goes back to normal.
Time for bed, anyway. Today has been weird. You climb into bed, and it's cold and empty.

Just like me....

********************************

This is just an idea, so please tell me what you think? Should I pursue? Yes, no, maybe so? THANKSSS.

School's a pain

"Oh Diamonnnnd!" Moonshine calls from downstairs. You groan at her annoying nasally drawl. "Time for school, my dear!"

Yeah, like you cared.

You ignore her calls and lay in bed, staring at the ceiling that rests above you. Never liked her... not ever.

"Oh Diamonnnd deaaarrr...." She drawls from outside your bedroom.

"Shut up!"

You hear her sigh and mutter to herself. You can't help but smirk at her comments on how much of a bitch you are. Pathetic.

You roll over and glance at the clock that sits on your nightstand. 7:00. Time to get up. You rise out of your bed and walk over to the bathroom. You ignore your brush and comb and instead head towards your shower.

Being rich does have it's perks, like having hot running water. You step into the shower and in a random fit of rage, buck the handle. TIt spins rapidly, turning on scaldingly hot water. You scream, and freeze. The water burns your skin, and it feels like you've been thrown into a pot of boiling stew. You can barley hear Moonshine appear after what feels like hours standing in the boiling rain. By now, you're sobbing because the pain is so prominent. You look up to see a familiar night blue hoof turn the water to an icy cool.

Instant relief.

"Miss Diamond?"

"Go away."

You watch Moonshine roll her ugly brown eyes and stalk away. Thank god she could take a hint.

By now you are close to shivering from the cold, and your burns have healed. You didn't even notice Moonshine using her magic. Sneaky lady. You snort. Hardly a lady. You turn the water up to a comfortable warm, and bask in it. It seems like your standing in your warm haven for hours.

When you finally run out of hot water (it happens you know..), you drag your reluctantly warm body out of the steamy bliss into the brisk cold of morning. You frown at the cool, but you welcome it grudgingly. As you walk over to your bed, you can feel the water from your hair drip down your back. A towel quickly fixes that problem. As you dry and brush your mane, you cant help but sigh. It's not like any of the ponies at school are going to notice. Except maybe Silver. She always noticed the little things. Greatest friend ever.

You exit your room, stumbling past the chefs offering their latest breakfast creation to you. You aren't hungry. As you walk out the door, you glance at the servants behind you who have now gathered in a concerned huddle. You give them a reassuring smile and keep walking. You slip your headphones over your ears and hit play. Music seems to be one of your only escapes recently.

It's not long before you reach the red schoolhouse. it's not quite schooltime yet, so most ponies are playing in the yard. You go and sit on the swings, humming along to the rhythm of your song. You can't see Silver anywhere. You sigh and lean back onto the swing, propelling yourself forward a bit. A high pitched country voice snaps you out of your daydream. You sit up to see Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo hugging. You smirk when you see Applebloom send a look of disgust your way.

More like Applebitch.

Sweetie Belle was ok, you didn't talk to her much. And lord, you never talked to Scootaloo anymore. Not after that one time she came over. You cringe at the memeory.

Flashback, 1 year ago.

"Ha, you were right Scootaloo! It IS funner when there's nopony watching over you!" You shreik happily at the orange pegasus.

"I know!" She says, smiling. Then a funny look comes over her face.

"What?" You ask, your mane soaking wet and dripping on the floor.

All of the sudden, Scootaloo's wings shoot out, and stand there erect.

You give Scootaloo a funny look. Then it dawns on you. You heard some of the older pegasi talking about these things called "wing-boners."

You start to gasp lightly, but you're cut off by Scootaloo pressing her lips on yours.

You squirm and push her off you. You can literally feel the heat radiating from your cheeks.

"What the..." You start.

You hear a choked sob and look up to see Scootaloo running away. You just stand there and blankly stare at the orange pony who is now running off into the depths of the Everfree Forest.

What the buck just happened?

You cringe again and glance over at Scootaloo who is now trying to an 8th grader in a game of soccer. Maybe she's into colts now. It's not like you have anything against filly-foolers, hell your own sister was one. You just weren't expecting her to come after, well, you.

You swore to never tell anyone that night, When you were sitting alone in your room, crying softly, you though tabout how weird this was. How violated you felt. But then you thought about Scootaloo, and how depressed she must be. You decided that no one would ever know.

They thought you were a bitch, cold and heartless.

But in reality, you were far from that.

The school bell ringing brings you out of your trance. You quietly trot over to the school house and take your seat in the front row. You glance at the seat next to you. Silver isn't here yet. You sigh and look up at Cherilee who is teaching some confusing arithmetic lesson. Normally Silver would explain it to you, but since she isn't here you're horrifyingly confused.

You didn't really like Cherilee anymore. Especially since Show and Tell, when you brought some of your crowns in. As you tried to show the class your creations, all you could hear was murmurs of the ponies at their desks.

Spoiled.

Rich.

Bitchy.

Greedy.

You hated them, hated them all. Even Cherilee was shaking her head. You just couldn't win. But Silver, she had it so easy. All she had to do was bring in some of her cooking (that silver spoon on her flank did have some meaning), and everyone in the class immediately loved her again. Once they saw she wasn't really the bitch everypony thought she was, she became incredibly popular, and was constantly being hit on by the older colts.

All of the sudden the door to the classroom bursts open and a silver blur flies and tumbles on the floor before landing in front of Cherilee.

Silver always was one to make a fancy entrance.

As she stops and stands up, she gives the class a nervous chuckle. Soon the class bursts out laughing, but you notice something different about the laughter then when you do something like this and the class laughs. They're laughing with her, but with you they laugh at you. Big difference.

Silver gets up from her perch on the floor and trots over to her seat. The class is still howling with laughter. Even Cherilee is giggling too. She takes her seat solemnly and raises her hoof. The class quiets down. She then grins and looks at Cherilee.

"So what were you saying about gravity Miss Cherilee?"

And then the whole class is laughing again.

The only thought running through your mind is: Must be nice to be you.

_____

A/N: I suck at endings. Sorry.