Pinkie Pie bakes a cake

by DoomPie

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Random
Length: 829

This is not intended for entertainment. This is for cold self analysis. This is about writing a story correctly, rather than having it be good.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-04 06:49:21 UTC

Chapter 1

   Pinkie pie sat in her house. Or is it her house? It's certaintly her resident area but it's more like her apartment? Maybe I should just say "in sugarcube corner". Pinkie sat in sugarcube corner bored out of her mind. She hadn't been bored for long, being pinkie her mind usually had something for her to do. Then she gasped. "CAKE!" she shouted out to no one in particular. She began rushing around the room gathering items she needed for cake. She grabbed a metal bowl, a measuring cup , some milk, and some batter. Everything but the eggs. She searched in the refrigerator (how else are they supposed to stop the eggs from rotting? They never said in the show that there weren't refrigerators) for the chilled chicken periods. A pout settled upon her face. "Am I out of eggs again?" she pondered.

   She left everything where it was and started her way to fluttershy's house. She had to make cake as soon as possible! Somewhere between five and five hundred minutes later, pinkie arived at fluttershy's house. Pinkie equiped a smile, knocked on the door, and waited. When there was no response, a sly grin dawned on her face. For added effect, she put on her mustache and rubbed her hoofs together villianously. Should would have put on her cape but she forgot it back at sugar cube corner. She made her way over to the chicken coop stealthy. Or at least, it's what she thought of as stealthy. She dashed back and forth between various bushes, trees, and one or two fluttershy's while humming the james bond theme. Fluttershy adjusted her spectacles and scribbled furiously on her clipboard. Pinkie, ejoying herself, took her time traversing to the chickens den.

   When she had finished with james bond, she decided to hum "back in black" by acdc. By the time she had realized that the song did not neccesarily fit the scenerio, it was too late. Once pinke starts a song she can't stop. Finnally she reached the door of the innocent chickens. She kicked the door open, bursting in, and applying her angry eyes. The chickens all looked twoard her and squaked in dismay. A bit of fight in them, pinkie liked that. Pinkie grabbed all the eggs she could carry, not leaveing a single chicken unturned. Then, with her armload of eggs, opened the door and peered with shifty eyes. In her peerings, she noticed fluttershy. Well, noticed as in renered her as a pyhsicall object. Pinkie's nerouns made no connections, no doubt due to the several decades of drug abuse, but this story isn't about that. It's about cake.

   Later, she arrived home. She sparred not a single second, dumping all the ingredients into the bowl at once, and sticking it into the oven at 400 degrees. An hour later, she removed the cake with great difficulty. The measuring cup had melted all over the oven! She then cut the cake into eight equal peices. She pondered who she could serve the cake to. While she pondered she subconsiouly ate 3 peices of cake in one bite. She heard a quiet, and almost cute, barfing noise coming from her window. A confused brow furrowed upon pinkie's face. She glanced at her window to find that fluttershy was (adorably) puking her lunch out. Pinkie's face brightened, and she grabbed the cake, rushing over to fluttershy. "Hai fluttershy!" She exclaimed. "Want some cake? I made it just for you!"

   Fluttershy quickly recovered her facial muscles, saying "Yes please!" with the most stable voice she could muster. Pinkie handed a peice of cake over to fluttershy on a pinkie paper plate. A large shard of metal covered the underside and edge of the cake, similar to crust on a peice of pie. It was held together fairly well be the melted plastic that was once a measuring cup. There were a couple spots of paper mixed with batter, and occasionall bits of eggshell. If someone were to look very closly, they could probably see bits of chared meat, and small burnt bones. Fluttershy dropped the peice of "cake" into a bag labled "evidence", and put the bag in her coat pocket.

   Pinkie shrugged and finished the remainder of the crime against nature. As far as she was concerned, fluttershy's cake had been consumed, though fluttershy didn't consume it. Fluttershy then trotted twoads twilights house, excited by her breakthrough, and utterly realived that she could leave. Once inside twilgiht treehouse, fluttershy removed the peice from her pocket and placced it on an arbitrary table. "How did it go?" Twilight asked, Her eyes bloodshot with dark bags beneathe them. "We finnaly caught her!"  Fluttershy said. Twilight sighed in relief. "Thank goddess!" twilight blurted. "What'd you catch her for?" twlilight asked. Flutershy beamed proudly. "She used my unborn eggs to bake her cake. We can finnaly put that manniac away for animal cruelty!"