The Conversion Bureau: The Choices We Make
Affect More Than Just Ourselves
The Bureau cafeteria was crowded for this time of night, ponies and humans alike all paying close attention to the human at the serving table.
“Alright everyone, thank you all for coming on such short notice. At approximately seven p.m. the Stevens family was scheduled to undergo Conversion together. However, their son, Alex, began to throw a tantrum about not wanting to Convert and fled. It was initially believed he returned to his room, but a later search of the room and the Bureau failed to locate him. Now, the Stevens are resting comfortably after being delivered the news, but we can’t let ourselves take a break. We’ve already contacted the police, but they’ve asked for volunteers from the Bureau to help with the search. Do we have anyone willing to help?”
Almost as one, hooves and hands shot up, and Kirk, the Director of Operations, allowed himself a small smile at the show of unity from the residents. However, it was the pink hoof at the front of the assembly that caused him to cringe. Although, given its owner, he wasn’t entirely surprised.
“Ooh! Ooh! I want to help! Let me help, Kirk!” The earth pony shouted excitedly, barely able to sit still.
“I know you want to help, Pinkie,” Kirk said, mind racing as he sought an excuse. He was appreciative of her enthusiasm, but she had a habit of making situations far too chaotic for any work to really get done. “You see, we need a few people to stay behind, help keep an eye on the Bureau. The medical staff will be staying to keep an eye on the Stevens, but we need somepony to stay at the desk, and be here in case Alex comes back on his own.” He held his breath as Pinkie’s eyes narrowed, those sitting next to her leaning away slightly as they all waited for her reaction.
Pinkie smiled broadly. “Okie dokie lokie! I’ll do my best!” She threw a sharp salute any Royal Guard instructor would be proud of and sat back down.
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, Kirk letting out the breath he’d been holding. “Okay everyone, let’s get into our groups. Pinkie, you and Sergeant Huttman will stay here, along with Dr. Blue to keep an eye on Mr and Mrs Stevens, okay?”
At Pinkie’s nod, the others began to mill about, Kirk quickly and efficiently dividing the staff and Converts into even groups. “Alright everyone, let’s go over the plan one more time. The pegasi will each get a flashlight, and lead their groups from the air. If you find him, give a shout and we’ll all converge on your location. Are there any questions?” At the silence he nodded firmly. “Alright, then let’s get to it!” He led the way as the search groups hurried outside into the warm summer evening.
Pinkie watched them all leave, still wishing that she could help look for Alex. She’d spoken a couple times with the Stevens, and found them to be a friendly family, though Alex was a little on the shy side. It always made her smile, no matter how different humans looked on the outside, they were almost identical to ponies on the inside. She turned and climbed back into the receptionist’s chair, giving Sergeant Huttman a smile. “So, now what?”
“Well ma’am, I still need to do my rounds of the Bureau, and check in on the Stevens. Can you stay here and keep an eye on things?” he asked, the armor scraping as he rolled his shoulders.
“Sure! Leave it to me!” Pinkie replied, throwing her best approximation of a salute.
Sergeant Huttman just shook his head in bemusement and turned down the hallway, his hoofsteps soon a quiet echo.
Pinkie idly waved a hoof as she spun in the chair. “Lyra had a point about these chairs, huh?” she asked nopony in particular. “I hope everyone’s doing okay out there. And that Alex is safe, wherever he is.” She caught the edge of the desk, stopping her spin. She knew why they’d asked her to stay behind, and while it did sting a little, she did know how she sometimes got overexcited and messed things up. But she also knew that even then, she could be happy with having given her all, and that was enough for her. Besides, almost all the time she could get her friends to smile, and that was doubly enough for her.
Abruptly, she slammed her hooves down on the table. “No sense in wearing the thinking cap, there’s a little boy out there who needs your help!” She reached up to tug the plaid deerstalker hat off her head, tucking it into a safe spot behind the computer. She could always grab it later if any sleuthing was needed. With a graceful flip she hopped off the chair and trotted for the front doors, pushed them open, and stopped on the sidewalk outside. The door swung shut behind her, the lock re-engaging with a quiet click.
The fact that one needed the key Director Johnson carried to unlock the door hadn’t even occurred to her.
The street was empty this time of night, though as Pinkie glanced to her left, she could hear the fading voices of the searchers fanning outward. Overhead, pegasi darted back and forth, flashlights held securely to their forelegs by straps. She’d briefly started in that direction when her ears twitched, followed by her hoof aching and her teeth itching. “Huh, well that’s a new one...” She trailed off as she sat down, her mind calm as she let her Pinkie Sense tell her what it wanted. “Wait! I’ve got it!” And with that she was off, ears pricked forward intently as she made her way to the right. As she reached street corners one of her hooves would ache again, leading her further into the business part of town.
She’d always liked this little town; it reminded her a lot of Ponyville, and how everyone seemed to know each other. The Bureau here had been met with some resistance, so she’d volunteered to come and help with integrating it into the community. “I wonder how everypony else has been doing without me?” she wondered aloud. The Cakes had been sad to see her go, and the twins in particular had cried until she promised them some fun toys.
Twilight had been pretty busy lately, helping the Princess with all the projects to help the humans for when Rejection came. Applejack was working the farm like normal, though with the influx of newfoals she’d been able to hire a lot of of new workers. Rarity had both changed and yet stayed the same, making fancy outfits and beautiful dresses for not only ponies, but humans as well. She’d even heard that some fancy human business was going to carry her new designs. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were the same as always, though the weather team had picked up some new faces too, and she still needed to learn some of their names. She stopped outside of an alley and started to scribble a quick note when her ear twitched so hard it smacked the side of her head.
“You’re right, of course! There’s no time to sit around, Alex needs your help!” Pinkie tucked the notebook away and was about to keep going when the hoof closest to the alley ached - really ached, actually eliciting a short whinny from her as she tested the hoof. “Sheesh, this one’s a doozy!” She glanced into the alley, taking a few hesitant steps, though her confidence returned as the ache vanished. “Well, I suppose that’s as clear a sign as any!”
Carefully, her ears on a swivel to pick up on anything, Pinkie walked into the alley, glancing at the piles of garbage. “Hello? Is anyone here? I could have sworn that somepony was down this way-”
Suddenly, a can flew toward her from the closest pile. “Go away!” a shrill, scared voice shouted.
Pinkie very nearly jumped aside from the can, but stopped as she realized first that it was empty, and that it wouldn’t hit her anyway. As she looked back at the source of the can, she felt a surge of relief as she recognized Alex’s head ducking back behind the pile. She took a few steps forward, stopping on the other side of the pile. “I’m so glad I found you, Alex! Everypony’s been worried about you, you know?”
“Go away!” Alex repeated. “I’m not going back!”
Pinkie tilted her head. “But why wouldn’t you want to do that? Your family’s there waiting for you.”
“I hate them! I never want to see them again!” Alex practically screamed as he readied another can.
Pinkie rocked back, her ears flattened against her head. “Why would you hate them? Don’t you want to let them know you’re okay?”
“No, I don’t care about them at all!” Alex slumped against the wall and started to cry.
Pinkie started to move toward the boy to comfort him, when she realized that might not be the best idea for now. However, she couldn’t just stand there and let him cry, so she decided to sit down beside him. “Do you want to talk about it? I learned it always helps to talk to friends about your problems.”
Alex sniffed and wiped at his face, looking up at Pinkie. “N-No! I just want everyone to go away and leave me alone!”
“Sorry, I can’t leave you all by yourself out here.” Pinkie said firmly as she shook her head. She tapped her hoof on her chin. “But, I’ll tell you what. I’ll just sit here with you, and you can talk to me when you want to. Does that sound okay to you?” She resisted the urge to pull out her notepad and pen--she wanted to help, but for once the ‘psychiatrist’ gag might do more harm than good.
“O-okay,” Alex replied as he sniffed hard, wiping the last of the tears away. “And you won’t tell anyone where I am?”
“Nope! I’ll even Pinkie Promise to it!” Pinkie sat up straighter, putting her hoof over her heart. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” She went through the motions of her most binding promise, and smiled as Alex’s frown started to break. “There, now I can’t tell anypony, because nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise.”
“Really?” Alex asked.
“Of course, otherwise I come and get ‘em!” She mimed a lunge at an invisible Pinkie Promise breaker, then fell back against the wall with a giggling snort. Her laughter was infectious, and soon Alex was laughing too, the pair leaning against each for support before they finally quieted down.
A few minutes passed before Pinkie looked over at Alex. “So, do you want to talk about it?” The mare was completely serious now, though a ghost of her previous smile lingered.
Alex’s smile faded and he hung his head, staring at the concrete. “It’s just not fair.” He scuffed his shoe at a can. “I mean, my parents never even talked to me about it.”
“About what?” Pinkie asked curiously.
“Well, I overheard them yesterday, talking about moving. I know they’ve been talking about getting me a little brother or sister after we Convert, but now they’re talking about moving to Equestria to live with some of the other families that moved. And... and... I don’t wanna go!” He couldn’t hold it back in and started crying again.
This time, Pinkie couldn’t help herself and put a foreleg around his shoulders, pulling him into an awkward hug. Alex threw his arms around her and just kept crying. “There there, just let it all out now, your Aunt Pinkie’s here for you.”
Finally, the choking sobs ended, and Alex pulled back, rubbing his face with his sleeve. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. That’s what friends are for, to play when we’re happy, and hold each other up when we’re sad,” Pinkie replied with a smile. She grabbed one of her hoofkerchiefs and held it out to him. “Though you still have a little something on your face.”
“Th-thanks,” he said with a hiccuping laugh as he took it. He wiped his face off and balled it up before he handed it back. “Sorry for messing it-” he stopped as he looked at it confusedly. “Wait, where did you even get this from? You don’t have pockets.”
“Oh, I keep hoofkerchiefs stashed all over, just in case they’re needed.” She took it back from him and half-grimaced. “Although, I think this one I’ll just get rid of.” She glanced around and saw the dumpster at the end of the alley. “Hey, think I can make it?”
“Go for it!” Alex replied with a small smile, though the corners of his mouth didn’t quite turn up the way she was hoping for.
Pinkie turned, and carefully sized up the shot. It would be hard, but she’d done plenty of things like it before. She took a deep breath, and in a single gesture drew her hoof back and launched the balled up cloth. It soared through the air, right on track for the open lid...
… only for a stray cat, startled by the sight of the ball tumbling toward it, to scrabble out of the dumpster with a yowl, the lid slamming shut behind it. The hoofkerchief landed squarely on top and rolled off onto the sidewalk.
“Shoot! So close!” Pinkie bounded to her hooves, trotted to the end of the alley, and threw the hoofkerchief away. She glanced around to make sure nopony had spotted her, and returned to sit next to Alex. “Anyway, where were we?”
“Well... I was gonna tell you why I ran away, I guess,” Alex muttered.
Pinkie kept her mouth shut, though she did reach behind her to grab her pad and pen, just in case.
“I mean, I guess being a pony would be okay, but I mean, I like it here. All my friends are here, and I don’t understand why we would move,” Alex finally said with a huff. “And it’s just not fair! I’m old enough now, why can’t I be part of decisions like this!”
“Well, did you ever think to ask them?” Pinkie Pie asked as her pen darted across the page.
“Well, not really-” Alex stopped, eyes blank as he stared at Pinkie. “Where did you get the paper from? Or the pen? You didn’t have them before.”
“Oh, I always keep a spare pen and pad handy, in case I need it,” Pinkie answered cheerfully.
Alex blinked, mouth opening and closing as he tried to come up with an answer to it, but finally settled on just a nod.
“Anyway, do you want to know what I think?” At Alex’s nod Pinkie took a breath. This was the point of no return. She’d always remembered hearing that in the old foal’s tales, but it certainly was appropriate. “I think we ought to go back to the Bureau, and then you and your parents need to try talking to each other about this. You’re right, you are a big boy now, but that also means you need to act like it to others. You might not believe it, but I used to be a little bit of a crazy filly when I was growing up.” Pinkie smiled at the memories of her antics. At least they’d been able to scrape that paint off in the end. And she couldn’t help but laugh when she thought about her seventh Summer Sun Celebration.
Once she got herself under control, she looked at Alex levelly. “So, what do you say? Want to come back with me?”
Alex stared at the concrete in silence, weighing his options. With a heave of his shoulders he looked up and took a breath. “Can... can we just sit here for a little more? Please?”
Pinkie smiled softly. “Of course we can-”
“Hey! I found them!” A voice shouted from above. They looked up in alarm as the pegasus wheeled about excitedly, and heard more voices join in. Within seconds, a crowd had assembled at the end of the alley, Director Johnson at the front.
“Alex, thank goodness we found you!” Kirk started to walk into the alley, “Everyone’s been worried about you, so how’s about we-”
“No!”
Everyone stopped dead at the shout, all eyes on Pinkie as she put herself between the crowd and Alex. Her ears were flat against her head, eyes wide, and head forward as she squealed sharply. “You’re not taking him anywhere!” As she glared at the crowd, her mane actually started deflating, a wheezing sigh like air from a balloon accompanying it. Her coat seemed to lose some of it’s shine as well, fading to a greyed-out pink.
Kirk stepped back, honestly alarmed at Pinkie’s behavior. In the four months she’d been at the Bureau the worst she’d done was a mild snort. “Pinkie, what in the world’s going on?”
She dug her hoof at the concrete. “I said you’re not taking him! It’s supposed to be his choice, so you’re all going to let him make it! And if you try to take him, you’ll have to go through me first!” She stamped her forehooves for emphasis.
The crowd stood there, glancing nervously to each other as they tried to figure out what to do next.
“Pinkie... it’s okay.” Alex walked forward and put a hand on Pinkie’s shoulder. “Thank you for sticking up for me, but if I wanna make grown-up decisions I need to act like one.” He took a deep breath. “Let’s go back to the Bureau. I wanna talk to Mom and Dad.”
* * * * *
Dear Princess Celestia,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you a lesson I learned about friendship. My friend Alex was having a really hard time with his parents, and last night tried to run away from his problems. But, it wasn’t so black and white as it looked. It turned out he hadn’t given his parents a chance either, but things all worked out in the end. I hope you get to meet Alex someday, though keep on your hooves--he’s almost as good a prankster as me!
Anyway, I learned that if you want somepony to treat you like an adult, you have to both act like one yourself, and be willing to talk out your problems, instead of just hiding from them.
Your humble servant,
Pinkie Pie
P.S. Oh, before I forget; this letter is also from Alex, but he doesn't know how to write Equestrian very well, so I'm doing it for him.
Pinkie sat back and admired her handiwork. “So, what do you think, Alex?”
He leaned forward and gave it a look. “Well, I still don’t understand a lot of written Equestrian, but it sounds great!” He grinned at her, but hung his head after a second. “Pinkie, I just wanted to say thanks... for helping me last night. It really meant a lot to me.”
Pinkie smiled and pulled him into an impromptu hug. “Well you’re welcome! I couldn’t very well sit by and not try to help out a friend!” She glanced at the clock and started. “Ohmygosh! We gotta hurry! We’re supposed to meet your parents for their newfoal orientation!”
The two friends bolted out the door together, the letter left forgotten on the desk.
