Megalomaneia

by The Lord of Dust

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 18963

To become a queen, it will take a good deal of ingenuity, a powerful friendship, and more than a dash of insanity.

Follow our group of only slightly insane misfits as they live their daily lives. Of course, their daily routines involve subservient zombies, magical catastrophes, explosions both emotional and physical, petty spiteful revenge, sexual harassment, occasional murder, the humble goal of dethroning the Princesses and the Elements of Harmony, and just a smidgen of unbridled insanity. When it's just an average day for the Overly Impressive Mares, anything can happen! A dramatic reading, lot's of art, and even some animation help supplement the world of Megalomaneia. Teaser animation here - Insanity Is Coming.

Published 2013-01-21 16:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-16 17:14:02 UTC

Episode 1 - To Cause What Ails You

Megalomaneia
Episode 1
To Cause What Ails You

Written by The Lord of Dust.
Assisted by Chameleon
Assisted by Dromaeosaur25

There are two types of days: there are the ones where the weather is fair and beautiful, where the world seems good and life is hopeful and pleasant, and then there are the ones that aren't. This day was, of course, the latter of the two. Slogging through yet another murky puddle of mud, a solitary stallion towed a heavily burdened cart. A thin blue tarp strained against the wind as it valiantly sought to keep his belongings dry.

The splashing of his hooves and the rattling of the wagon were inaudible under the howling gale. With every step, mud splashed onto his legs and underbelly, clinging to his dull gray coat. On his flank, just barely visible through the muck and grime, one could make out the picture of a rock. Wet and weary, the stallion plodded on, occasionally stumbling as a gust buffeted against him or as his hoof slipped in the sludge.

Ghastly Gorge, a horrible place even on the fairest of days, ran alongside the narrow path. The road from Los Pegasus to Ponyville could be a dangerous trip for an unwary traveler. Looking to his left the stallion peered into the dark and tangled Everfree Forest; looking to his right, he gazed down into the sheer cliffs of the Gorge. He shook his head, wishing he had taken the train instead, but no, he had thought it would be nice to travel through the countryside. It wasn't the first time he had regretted a decision and he knew it wouldn't be the last.

“Why can't it shine on my parade for once?” he lamented, sighing bitterly. “I'm beginning to think the world has something against me.”

Glancing back down into the ravine, Vapid gulped at the thought of slipping over its edge. Even if he survived the fall, he would undoubtedly drown in the rapids of the rushing river below. Jerking his head back to the road, he resolutely tried not to think about it; instead he turned his attention to the ominous forest. Trees swayed and danced in the wind, their branches whipping back and forth.

Over the violent squall, the sound of falling trees reached the stallion. This was not surprising, considering the strength of the storm. Vapid only hoped that none would block the path ahead, or else he would have to get down in the mud and push them aside, not something that his already soaked and tired body would very much appreciate. More crashing of falling timber made Vapid perk his ears instinctively. This time the sound had been closer.

A feral roar accompanied by more falling trees caused the stallion to stop in his tracks. Something was definitely coming in his direction. Hastily he began to unhook the straps connecting him to the wagon. If he was going to need to make a run for his life, he didn't need a heavy burden slowing him down. The crunching of wood and heavy footsteps filled his ears. He desperately scanned the forest, looking for whatever was making the noise. A new sound cut through the cacophony, that of a mare's panicked shouts and cries. Before this new information could properly register with the stallion, the tree line exploded; shards of wood flying through the air as a foul stench assaulted his nose.

Roaring in blind fury, fangs bared and glistening, a large manticore burst onto the road. Its mane was ragged and wild, filled with bits of branches and twigs that had gotten caught within during the creature's rampage. Scars ran across its arms and chest from many territorial battles against other manticores. A large insectoid tail whipped to and fro, knocking aside brush and small plants.

To Vapid's shock, a blue and purple unicorn was latched onto the monster's head, fear evident in her face as she held on for dear life. Her hooves were thrust into the creature's crimson mane, gripping the coarse hair. The manticore shook its head, violently trying to dislodge the unwelcome hitchhiker.

“Noooooc..... tuuuuuuurn......naaaaaaa!” the mare screamed over the manticore's roaring and the pounding of rain. “Where are you?!”

The beast howled with anger, its claws digging deep grooves into the soft earth. Its bloodshot eyes turned towards the gray stallion. Lurching forward, the creature bounded toward the terrified Vapid. He backpedaled in fright; tripping over his hooves, he splashed into the muck. Frantically, he wriggled his way under the wagon, feverishly covering himself with mud, hoping that he might blend in well enough to fool the monster.

Stifling a cry, he watched in terror as a massive paw landed next to the cart. As the paw lifted back into the air, for the briefest of moments, the stallion felt relief that the manticore would pass him by, but his respite was quickly shattered as the paw smashed against the cart, flipping it into the air. Within a heartbeat the wagon had disappeared, sent tumbling over the canyon's edge.

Vapid whimpered, too afraid to move. Lightning lit the sky, silhouetting the manticore, its scorpion tail raised, poised to strike. Finally finding the ability to move, he madly kicked his legs, desperately trying to get traction in the slippery mud. A searing pain filled the stallion's chest. The manticore whipped its tail back, throwing the stallion. With a meaty thud he smacked against a shattered tree. He lay on the ground, blood flowing from the hole in his chest as the light in his eyes slowly began to fade.

The manticore moved closer, raising its claws for a killing blow, crimson blood dripping from the dagger-like stinger.

“Hey!” the mare atop the creature's head shouted. She began to slap the manticore with her hooves. “Leave him alone!”

She dug her hooves into the manticore's mane as it shook, failing to throw her off. She continued smacking it with her hooves, agitating the beast. It swiped its paws uselessly, unable to reach the annoying pony. The lethal spiked tail rose into the air, unbeknownst to the mare, preparing to lash out and pierce the annoyance once and for all. The stinger shot forward, seeking the soft flesh of its target.

A black aura suddenly burst into existence around the mare. Just as the stinger dropped mere inches away from its intended victim, the mare was jerked away by a magical force. The manticore cried out in pain as the sharp point of the stinger pierced through the back of its own skull. It staggered forward, taking several shaky steps, before falling face first into the mud.

Stepping out of the trail of destruction the manticore had carved through the forest, a white unicorn with a jet black mane levitated the blue mare through the air over to her side. Both mares were equally bedraggled, their coats muddy and covered in grime and their manes knotted and plastered against their bodies. The white mare gently set down the floating pony.

“Nocturna, it's about time you showed up!” the blue mare greeted appreciatively.

The white unicorn arched an eyebrow. “Are you saying you couldn't handle it by yourself?”

“N-no!” the mare sputtered before standing up and swaggering in an exaggerated manner. “There is nothing that Maneia can't handle!” She glanced at the dead beast. “It's just that the manticore took me by surprise, is all.”

“That's not how I saw it,” Nocturna said smirking. “It looked like you failed to set the trap properly.”

“Details.” Maneia shrugged nonchalantly. “What matters is that we got the poison gland we needed.” She gestured towards the beast.

“I still think this plan is senseless,” Nocturna commented casually.

“That's why I'm the leader and you're my underling,” Maneia replied sweetly.

A cold glare was her only reply. After an awkward pause, the blue unicorn started in surprise. “I almost forgot!” She quickly looked around, taking several seconds before the battered stallion caught her eye. Quickly rushing to his side, Maneia put her ear to his chest. Over the wind and rain, she couldn't make out a heartbeat. She turned to Nocturna. “Is he dead?”

“He will be soon,” the white pony replied.

“We have to help him,” Maneia said as she looked over the stallion, grimacing at the grisly wounds.

Rolling her icy blue eyes towards Maneia, Nocturna's expression said it all.

“Oh come on, we can't just leave him like this. And besides that, this is a golden opportunity! I have so many ideas that I could use him for!” She got down onto her knees, squishing in the mud and looked up at her friend, eyes full of pleading. “Luster's old, Faith's a psycho, Dixie won't do anything demeaning, and Daisycutter breaks everything. I need him.”

“No you don't. You already have Wildflower, you don't need another pet.” She looked down at Maneia, the blue pony's frowning face reflecting in her eyes. “We don't need anypony else... or aren't I enough for you?” Her voice carried a hint of crossness along with something more.

“Please! I can think up all sorts of things for him to do,” the blue pony begged. “Plus, whenever you go on your special trips.” She used her hooves to air quote the words. “I need some extra help.”

“Can't you just use one of the ponzies?”

“It wouldn't be the same and you know it!” Maneia shot Nocturna her most resolute expression, or at least what she hoped was her most resolute expression.

After a few seconds of silence Nocturna sighed heavily and gently stepped around the mud-covered mare. Her horn began to glow with a black aura. “If it will make you happy, I suppose it can't hurt.”

“Yay!” The blue unicorn squealed as she jumped into the air, arms outstretched in joy.

Looking down at the unconscious stallion, Nocturna was filled with disdain. It would be a waste of magic to save the stallion and she doubted he would even appreciate their effort once he discovered the price he would have to pay. If she had come across the stallion on her own, she would have passed him by without a second thought, leaving him to the fate his folly had brought him. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind. Her thoughts fell to the cutie mark on her flank, a gray crescent moon, with a pink heart in between its tips. 'No, that is what the old me would have done,' She thought quietly. Rain fell in sheets around the three ponies, the wind blew fiercely, buffeting against their bodies. Thunder echoed through the forest, Nocturna's eyes opened, flaring with dark magic. A blood curdling scream echoed through the forest and gorge.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Vapid screamed in pain for several seconds, until his piercing cry slowly died away to a pitiful whimper upon realizing that he was not, in fact, in any sort of pain. His muscles and bones, previously weary and sore, now felt rejuvenated and coursing with energy.

Silky linens covered the stallion, cool and comforting. A pillow, plush and fluffed to perfection, gently held his head. Looking around, Vapid slowly took in his surroundings, after all when one is this comfy it would be a shame to do it quickly. Thick black curtains covered the window along one wall; a row of bookshelves, fully stocked, lined the second; several drawers and what appeared to be sliding doors, mostly likely for a closet, were on the third wall. Pushed up against the fourth wall, a large writing desk sat next to an ornate wooden door.

Candles cast the room into gloomy shadows. Several paintings adorned the walls, all of which were dark and slightly disconcerting. Across from the foot of the bed, one such painting hung upon the wall. It depicted a very stern-looking stallion, a permanent frown forever etched across his face. The portrait seemed to radiate a distressing feeling. The longer Vapid looked at it, the more uneasy he became.

The bed was so inviting and snug that Vapid was sorely tempted to just close his eyes and go back to sleep, but the thought of the portrait watching him perturbed the stallion enough to make him relinquish the thought and rise out of bed. Throwing off the covers, he quickly got to his hooves. Vapid didn't know how he had gotten to the room or even where in Equestria he was, but this was a mystery he was compelled to solve.

Trotting over to the window, Vapid pulled back the curtains, casting bright daylight into the gloomy room. Looking out, the stallion could see a carefully kept landscape, a beautiful garden full of flowers and trees, and past the trimmed and neat flora, a wild and dark forest. The stallion gulped. Whatever this place was, it was within the Everfree forest.

A knock at the door caused the stallion to jump. Vapid turned towards the door and waited. Another single knock.

“Hello,” Vapid called hesitantly.

The door handle rattled, then slowly began to turn. Creaking, as the door swung inward, Vapid's heart skipped a beat. In the doorway stood a pony, or more aptly, what was left of a pony. A pale pink pony stepped forward, her ratty blue mane swaying across her face. The skin on the left side of her head was nowhere to be seen, only bone and an empty eye socket. “Brrrrreeeeeaaaa....”

For the second time that morning, Vapid screamed, this time not in pain, but fear. The creature froze mid-step, flinching from the stallion's shriek. Vapid spun around, preparing to escape through the window. Another pony creature peered through the glass, causing Vapid to backpedal in shock. Bumping into the pink pony, they fell onto the floor. With a shout Vapid desperately kicked the pony away, knocking her against the bed.

In a flash Vapid was on his hooves and running through the open door. A long corridor stretched off in either direction. A third creature was slowly shambling its way towards them from the left, so Vapid took off down the right hallway. Galloping as fast as his hooves could take him, Vapid tore through the halls, taking turns blindly, making his way deeper into the building. Whenever he came upon one of the pony creatures, he would spin around and continue his flight wherever they were not.

Eventually, he came into a grand foyer. To his left a majestic flight of stairs led higher into the building. To his right, two large ornately carved double doors led to the outside world, but unfortunately, as fortune is so often, two of the monstrous ponies stood to either side of the doors. Vapid briefly considered trying to fight past the creatures, but upon noticing one of them was missing her lower jaw, he impulsively mounted the stairs and continued his journey upward.

After rushing down more hallways, past countless rooms, and through numerous twists and junctions, Vapid had become thoroughly lost. He stopped, his chest burning from exertion. Looking down the hall in front of him, he saw a creature slowly shamble its way towards him. Turning to go back, Vapid stopped dead in his tracks. A door slowly opened as another creature emerged from a room, blocking the stallion's retreat. Quickly casting his head about, searching for an alternative route, Vapid's gaze fell on a very peculiar door. It seemed out-of-place in contrast to the rest of the building. The door was shiny and metal as opposed to the dark wood of all the doors he had passed before. Where a door handle would usually go, a circular black pad had been placed.

On the one hoof, Vapid had no idea what resided on the other side of door, on the other hoof, as one of the creature's moans swiftly reminded him, the monstrous ponies would be on him within seconds. Hastily, Vapid threw his hoof forwards, slamming it against the black pad. His hoof blossomed with pain as the door failed to budge. Adrenaline coursed through his veins as he drastically tried to think of a solution where he didn't die. Just as he was considering trying to fight his way past the creatures, the door slid open. Without a second's hesitation Vapid threw himself into the room, but his flight was short lived as he crashed into a very hard pony, sending them both clattering to the floor as the door silently closed behind them.

“What the hay!” a bizarre looking mare cried in surprise.

Vapid's eyes widened in shock as he took in the mare's appearance. She seemed to be made partially out of metal, only a few places on her body were still cover with patches of white fur. Where her eyes should have been, there were instead two strange glowing ovals. Her cutie mark was of three pink heart outlines, which were depicted on a glowing screen similar to her eyes. Instead of hair, her mane and tail were made out of thick multicolored cords, each ending in a plastic clip. A thick black cable spiraled around her tail, keeping the cords in check.

“Who are you?” she asked, eying the stallion as she picked herself off the floor.

“I'm Vapid,” He replied, the surprise of the extraordinary pony causing him to momentarily forget that he was fleeing from the creatures. He slowly stood up and offered his hoof. The mare looked at the proffered hoof, as if studying it carefully, before turning and walking away.

“And what are you doing in my lab?”

Vapid followed the mare, his predicament rushing back. “We need to leave!” He grabbed the mare and pointed towards the door. “Monsters! We've got to go now!”

The mare raised a virtual eyebrow. “Monsters?”

“Yes!” Vapid replied, failing to hide the panic in his voice. “Ponies that have become horrifically twisted and dangerous!”

“You mean the ponzies?” she asked laughing.

Vapid's fear quickly shifted to confusion.

“You've got to be joking,” the mare said trotting over to the door. Reaching out she touched the black pad, causing the door to slide open. Leaning into the hall, her voice echoed as she called out. “Hey you! Come here.”

While Vapid watched, the mare stepped back into the room, one of the nightmarish creatures following close behind.

“This is a ponzie,” she said, pointing at the decaying pony. Stretching out her metallic hoof, she gently pushed the pony, causing it to limply fall over. “Stupid, obedient, and harmless. Plus they're fun to mess with.”

Vapid's eyes darted between the two ponies, the gears in his mind failing to click. “I.. I don't...”

“They're not as serviceable as living ponies would be,” she said poking the ponzie as it slowly rose, knocking it back onto its side. “But they get the job done.”

“Uuuuuuhhhhhhnnnnnnnn,” the ponzie moaned as the mare plopped down, using the undead pony as a macabre chair.

“Nocturna's the only pony who can make them.” She ran her hoof through its mane, pulling out a clump of hair. “But she can't make them any smarter or more useful.” She placed the hair back over the ponzies newly formed bald spot and patted it down. “I, on the other hoof, am working on ponzies mark two, and when it's done they'll be able to dance circles around these guys.”

Vapid tried desperately to formulate a reasonable response, but a strangled gurgling sound was the best he could produce.

The mare shook her head. “Look, it's obvious that you're new so let me make it easy on you.” She sidled up next to the stallion. “We do things a little differently here.”

She gestured her arms in a sweeping arc, indicating the room they were in. The room was white and clinical, glass vials filled with a rainbow of different colored liquids scattered about. Strange looking machines, all flashing lights and spinning doodads littered every available space. Vapid had never seen anything like it. He briefly felt queasy. If he came across any more jarringly bizarre discoveries in one day, he didn't think his heart would be able to take it.

“This is my lab,” the mare said. “Or at least one of them.”

Grabbing Vapid by the hoof, she led him across the room to where a strange helmet sat, a row of lights slowing blinking and flashing sequentially across it.

“Put this on,” the mare commanded. Vapid eyed the helmet warily, before gingerly picking it up and placing it on his head. “Open wide.”

“Wh...” As Vapid began to reply, the mare pushed a flat piece of plastic into the stallion's mouth.

“Now we scan.” Flashing a wicked grin, the mare reached up and pushed a small red button on the side of the helmet. A powerful electric shock ran through Vapid, his muscles sporadically convulsing.

Gleefully watching as the stallion came close to the threshold of electrocution, the mare introduced herself. “Where are my manners? You told me your name but I've yet to tell you mine. I'm Fail-safe Automaton Increasing Tabooed Hate, but you can call me Faith.”

Faith reached up and removed the helmet, allowing Vapid to fall to the floor in a flaccid heap.

“What was that for?” he moaned rubbing his temples.

“Oh nothing really,” Faith replied innocently. “Just gathering some useful information.” She gave Vapid a very self-righteous look. “The way things usually go around here, it could easily save your life one day.”

Paling slightly at the thought of occupying the nightmarish house for any foreseeable length of time, Vapid went to get back on his hooves, but after realizing how many times he had ended up on the floor recently, he decided to just stay there.

“Isn't there a less painful way of doing that?”

“The shock doesn't have anything to do with the scanning; I just do that for fun.” She giggled disconcertingly.

Vapid swallowed with an audible gulp. “Well then.” He forced himself back up, making sure to not let the mare out of his site. Vapid didn't have any experience with ponies that could be labeled “dangerous” or “insane”, but he had a pretty good feeling that you didn't want to turn your backs on them. “It's been nice meeting you, but if you could just point me to an exit then I'll go ahead and get out of your hair.”

“Leave? But it's Monday.”

At the doorway a mostly normal looking ponzie stuck her head in, her left eye swung loosely, knocking against the doorframe. “Bbbrrreeaaaaaaaakk.......fffaaaaaaassssstt.”

“Finally, I'm famished.” Faith happily trotted across the room, before looking over her shoulder and gesturing for Vapid to follow. “Come along, now you get to meet the weirdos.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

A large dining room matched by an equally large dining table were both luxuriously furnished. Vapid glanced about, half expecting to see ponies being served as the main course, or giant pony-eating spiders descending upon them from the rafters. It had been that kind of morning. Instead of more horror and pain, the room was lavish in appearance. Candles, magically enhanced to produce unrivaled light, hung on the walls and along the table. A thick, plush red carpet cushioned his steps underneath him; overhead, an extravagant crystal chandelier hung suspended above the table. He eyed the chandelier warily; knowing his luck, today would be the day the cable holding the chandelier decided to snap, and it would undoubtedly be at the exact moment he was directly underneath it.

“Ah you're awake!” a mare called cheerfully. Vapid looked towards the far end of the table. There, the blue mare he had seen the night before sat, eating what looked to be pancakes. Vapid felt he should be a little surprised to see the mare, but after everything that had happened already, it was barely even a blip. She energetically motioned for Vapid to come and sit, patting the chair beside her.

Vapid slowly trotted towards her, taking in the surroundings. Stretching longer than any dining table would ever reasonably need to be, Vapid guessed it could probably seat over one hundred ponies. Most of the table remained unoccupied save for a small group of ponies that sat near the table's end.

Faith pulled up a chair next to an elderly unicorn. “Morning Luster,” she greeted as a ponzie placed a plate of steaming pancakes before her. The elderly stallion took a bite from his breakfast and grunted in response.

Across from Luster and Faith, a burly pegasus busily shoveled pancakes into her awaiting maw. She chewed mouthfuls at a time, her cheeks filled to bursting. Vapid wondered if any of the ponzies had accidentally lost a hoof refilling the mare's plate. Sticky syrup covered her light brown coat, while her earthy green mane was kept back by a black bandana.

Next to the pegasus, a belle of a mare sat immaculately. Another unicorn, vapid noted feeling like the odd stallion out, being the only earth pony, well living earth pony, in the room. Faith seemed to be an earth pony, but due to her mostly being robotic, he couldn't say for sure what she originally was. The unicorn contrasted with the brutish pegasus, daintily using a knife and fork to eat equally sized pieces of pancake. Her orange coat looked smooth and silken, while her dark blue mane was perfectly coiffed, flowing forward in a luxurious flip while a sumptuous ponytail flowed backward cascading onto her shoulders. Thick vibrant eyelashes and perfectly sculpted makeup completed the mare's appearance. Vapid could barely imagine the time the mare must put into keeping up her flawless image.

Several chairs down from the voracious pegasus and picturesque mare, a white unicorn glared at Vapid, sending a shiver down his spine. She held herself in a manner that one would best describe as regal. Her mane was black as a starless sky, almost unbelievably so. It had been styled into two long scythe like pigtails. Also a bit heavy hoofed with the makeup, Vapid thought silently.

Directly across from the unicorn, the blue pony beamed. On one side, her mane flowed down, covering her right eye, on the other her mane was styled into three curls. A black piece of paper with the letters O, I, M, stacked one on top of the other in blue ink had been taped to her flank, covering her cutie mark. She proffered a hoof as Vapid approached. Tentatively, he met her hoof. Shaking it vigorously, she introduced herself.

“You can call me Maneia.” She motioned for him to sit in the chair before continuing. “I'm what you'd call the brains of the operation.”

A snicker and a mumbled “Brains is an overstatement” from Faith failed to phase the unicorn.

Maneia nodded her head towards Vapid and waited expectantly. After several seconds of silence she prompted the stallion. “And what do you go by?”

“Oh!” the stallion said, slightly embarrassed. “Vapid... my name's Vapid.”

She waited for Vapid to continue, but he only stared at her, clearly not wanting to say more. She sighed and motioned towards the old stallion. “That's Grandpa Luster.”

Luster turned to Vapid with a withering look. “Call me Grandpa, boy, and I'll make sure you won't live as long as I have.”

“He means it,” Faith concurred.

“Oh don't mind him, he's just not a morning pony,” Maneia said casually before nodding towards Faith. “You've met our resident scientist, only partially mad.”

“Ha!” the robotic mare said through a mouthful of pancakes. “Full blown insane-o is more like it.”

The muscular pegasus chuckled.

“And then there's Daisycutter, she's as strong as ten stallions.”

Faith chortled. “And just as ugly,” she mumbled under her breath, not quite loud enough to reach the pegasus.

Nodding to the stallion, Daisycutter continued to dig through her breakfast.

“Then we have Daisy's sister, Dixie,” Maneia said turning to the orange unicorn. “She's.... well she's Dixie.... she doesn't really do much other than look good.”

“You cannot simply quantify Dixie,” the beautiful mare said. Though her voice carried a tone of high society, a faint country accent shown through. As she spoke she kept her eyes locked on Maneia, never veering towards Vapid. “I can do a bit of everything really and do it with grace and elegance.” She turned her gaze to Vapid the same way one might look at a piece of particularly offending garbage. “And what is it that you do, Mr. Vapid?”

Vapid considered the question. “I guess I'm sort of like you, I just do whatever I can.”

Dixie's glare turned icy cold. “We are nothing alike. Don't ever insinuate that you are my equal.” Her voice was thick with venom. Daisycutter rumbled menacingly, backing up her sister's threat.

“Moving on,” Maneia interjected desperately, turning away from Dixie and towards the white unicorn. “This is Nocturna. Her magic saved your life last night.”

“Yes,” Nocturna said. “Your existence is solely owed to me.” Her piercing glare drilled into the stallion.

Vapid cleared his throat nervously, wishing that he was anywhere else in Equestria. “Thank you. I appreciate... being alive... If there's anything I can do to repay you...”

“Funny you should say that,” Maneia said, interrupting the stallion. “There is a small matter you can help us with.”

“Oh... okay then.”

The mare locked eyes with the stallion. “We are the Overly Impressive Mares and our goal is to take over Equestria.”

Vapid slowly looked from pony to pony before gradually replying. “You're not all mares.”

“A minor technicality.”

“And you want to take over Equestria?” he asked, keeping his voice level and emotionless. “Fight the Princesses, the Royal Guard, the Elements of Harmony, and any normal minded loyal ponies, essentially everypony in Equestria other than the six of you?”

“Well there's seven of us, eight counting you, and yes, that's the plan.” Maneia answered matter-of-factly.

“Are you insane?”

“If you believe the doctors then yes, but what do they know?” she replied with a smile that seemed a bit too wide.

A light green mare pushed her way between Maneia and Vapid. “I didn't forget you,” Maneia said ruffling the mare's dark green, flower filled mane. “And here's our final member, Wildflower.”

Wildflower looked at the stallion and barked happily, her tail wagging from side to side. Vapid returned the mare's look before pushing away from the table and jumping to his feet. Trotting towards the door, he called over his shoulder. “Well good luck with that, but I'm getting off the crazy train.”

“I'm not crazy,” Maneia said softly.

A splitting headache caused the stallion to stop dead in his tracks. Dark whispers filled his mind, forming into words. Even though he was facing away, Vapid could feel Nocturna's gaze boring into him.

'You do not fully grasp your situation stallion.' Nocturna's voice resonated within Vapid. 'My magic is what brought you from the brink of death; I will not hesitate to send you back to it.'

Beads of sweat began to form on Vapid's brow.

“You will be Maneia's new plaything. You will server her every whim and you will make her happy. If you in any way hurt or offend her, I will make you suffer dearly for it.”

Vapid's head throbbed as horrific images danced through his consciousness. The images stopped and the pressure dissipated as quickly as it had appeared. Vapid turned around, a fake smile plastered across his face. All eyes watched him expectantly.

“I changed my mind,” he said trying not to whimper.

Maneia perked her ears, a sparkle in her eye. “Really? You want to be an Overly Impressive Mare?”

After a slightly longer pause than was necessary and a glance at Nocturna as she terrifyingly sipped her orange juice, he mustered up the courage to answer. “Yes.”

Faith snickered; rolling her digital eyes and elbowing Luster. “I wonder what could have changed his mind?”

“It's a mystery,” the old stallion replied, taking another bite of pancake.

Maneia stood up triumphantly, placing her front hooves on the table. “It's settled then, tonight we poison the Princess!”

Vapid's consciousness couldn't take the assault any longer. With a strangled gurgling sound, he fainted, landing with a muffled thump on the carpeted floor.

“Well,” Maneia said stuffing the last bite of pancake into her mouth, then swallowing it whole. “Who wants to go swimming?”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Maneia laid under a large yellow umbrella, her forelegs crossed behind her head and her right hindleg cocked over her left, relaxing in the warm summer breeze. Vapid sat to one side, silently mulling over how his life had gotten to this point. Nocturna floated a few inches above the ground, a black aura surrounding her body. She kept her eyes closed, a look of deep concentration painted across her face.

Slamming her hoof down, Faith cried “Check mate!”, causing Luster to scowl and throw his hooves up.

“I was going easy on you that time,” he said grumpily. “Either that or you cheated again.”

Faith blew her lips noisily. “Why do you always assume I cheat?”

“Because you always do!”

Dixie lounged by the pool, absorbed in a trashy romance novel, although she would never openly admit she was into such things. She wore a pair of stylish black sunglasses. Daisycutter splashed in the crystal clear water, throwing a red rubber ball as Wildflower swam after it. Using her wings to burst out of the water, Daisycutter flew several yards into the air before slamming her wings shut and falling back into the refreshing liquid. A small tidal wave splashed out, engulfing Dixie.

“Whoops,” Daisycutter said bobbing in the water.

A sparkling orange sphere surrounded the unicorn. With a pop, it burst, revealing a perfectly dry, if a little peeved, Dixie.

“Sorry bout that.”

Dixie smiled. “It's quite alright sweetheart, just please dial it down a touch.”

Wildflower paddled up to Daisycutter and dropped the ball. She looked at the pegasus expectantly. Daisy snatched up the ball and squeezed it, causing it to make a high pitched squeak. Wildflower yipped excitedly.

“You want it?” Daisycutter asked playfully.

The green pony barked in response.

“Well go get it!” Daisy said throwing the ball.

Vapid watched everything, thinking how almost normal it all seemed. If you took away the half decayed ponies slowly trimming hedges in the background, the fact that no one seemed to mind that Wildflower needed some extensive psychiatric help, and that he had technically been kidnapped and was currently being held against his will, then one could almost think that it was just a group of ponies enjoying a day by the pool and not a secret cabal of anarchists.

After finally letting his brain digest all the morning's information, Vapid resignedly decided to play along with the absurdity.

“So....” he said, breaking the silence.

Maneia turned her head to look at the stallion. “Yeah?”

After thinking of something to actually say, he nodded his head towards the floating Nocturna. “What's she up to?”

“She does that sometimes.” Maneia shrugged. “I'm not really sure what she's doing. She say's it something to do with expanding your inner consciousness and feeling beyond the senses or something like that.” Maneia reached over and ran her hoof through Nocturna's tail, absentmindedly playing with it. “She tried to teach me how to do it once, but all I ended up doing was falling asleep.”

Maneia looked up at the oblivious unicorn. “She does a lot of stuff I don't fully understand, but that's just her being her.”

The two ponies fell back into silence, the sounds of splashing and the clatter of chess pieces being placed and the occasional swear or celebratory shout from a well-made move filled the air.

“Why?” Vapid asked softly. “Why are you ponies trying to dethrone the Princesses?”

“Why not?” Maneia replied.

“You can't just say that for something like this,” Vapid said angrily.

The blue unicorn smiled, but there was no joy in it. “We all have our reasons. Some big, some small, there are a myriad of reasons why we don’t hold the Princesses in our hearts, but there’s an undeniable truth we’ve all found that drives us. Why do I want the Princesses gone? Maybe one day I'll tell you, but for now it doesn't matter. They have lived longer than any pony deserves to live. During this time they've done nothing but hold Equestria back. We need somepony to lead us that isn't afraid to move forward, somepony who can lead Equestria into a future without alicorns. The princesses have failed Equestria, it's time for real ponies to rule.”

Vapid remained silent, knowing it would be pointless to argue with the mare.

“I'm not stupid. I know you don't like us, but we aren't bad ponies, Vapid,” Maneia said. “Well Faith might be, but everypony else deep down are good ponies. They just need to get used to you, they'll accept you if you give it time.”

“I doubt that.”

“Luster is a grumpy old stallion, but he just likes to play it up, he's actually really nice.”

“What about Miss Friendly?”

“Well Dixie will take a bit of work, but it's not anything personal. She just doesn't like stallions, is all.”

“Is that all?” he replied sarcastically. “What about Luster, he's a stallion.”

“Exactly, you have to show her you're alright. She can put her prejudices aside if she likes you. She and Luster get along... most of the time.... some of the time..... occasionally, so I'm sure you can win her over too.”

Maneia looked up at Nocturna, still speaking to the stallion. “I know she forced you to stay. She's my best friend, and she's just trying to make me happy, but sometimes she doesn't realize when she goes a little too far. Vapid, if you don't want to be an Overly Impressive Mare, then I won't make you stay here.”

The stallion perked his ears. Maneia turned back to him, looking into his eyes. “But I ask one thing of you. Think about my offer. You could be part of our family here; we take care of each other. What do you have out there? Will the Princesses be there to help you when you're down? Will they laugh with you, cry with you, feed you pancakes? I know you belong here... with us.... but I can't force you to see it.”

Maneia stood up and pointed across the manicured lawn, towards a wide dirt road cutting into the forest. “Follow the path and it will take you to Ponyville before you know it.” She turned away from the stallion. “All I ask is you consider what I've told you. Celestia will arrive at Golden Oaks Library at sundown. If you change your mind... I'll be there.”

Vapid gazed at the mare for a few moments, unsure of what to say. He stood up, looked at the blue mare one final time, then galloped away, dodging around bushes and flowers, hurriedly making his way to the road, praying that it wasn't some kind of sick trick by the mare. With a hop, skip, and a jump Vapid cleared the lawn and landed on the dirt path. Within the blink of an eye the gray stallion was gone, hidden by the thick forest.

Maneia let out an exaggerated sigh. “Well darn, I thought for sure he'd stay.”

“Hey Maneia!” Faith called cattily. “If your looks are that bad, you should probably hide the rest of your face behind your mane. Maybe then you wouldn't scare off the stallions.”

The blue unicorn glowered back, not wanting to rise to Faith's bait.

“Don't mind her honeypot, you look good and you know it,” Dixie said without looking up from her book.

“Better watch what you say,” Luster advised the metallic mare as he pushed a game piece forward. “It'll come back to bite you one day.” The stallion chewed his lip. “Or now, if I think about it. You're not turning any heads yourself.”

Faith's digital eyes narrowed. “Are you kidding? The stallions love me, I'm exotic.”

“Is that why you wear camouflage whenever you go to town?”

“Ooooh!” Daisycutter teased from the pool.

“You know why I have to do that!” Faith said louder than she had intended. She no longer had enough real face to blush, but from her expression it was clear to see. The cybernetic mare quickly stood up and slowly trotted back towards the mansion, visibly trying to hide her distress.

“That was mean, Luster,” Maneia admonished.

Dixie lowered her sunglasses and gave the old stallion a reprimanding glare. “You know she's sensitive about her situation.”

“Excuse me?” Luster said defensively. “After the things she's done, that girl doesn't have a right to feel sensitive. In fact, I'm the one who needs your pity. Who knows what she'll do to get back at me. I won't be able to safely go to sleep for weeks!”

“You deserve it, father,” Nocturna said as she gently floated to the ground, the magical aura around her dissipating. “To be so old, yet still have no idea how to deal with females.”

“That's because in my day mares weren't so tricky,” he replied curtly. “When I was a young stallion all the fillies in my village would have considered themselves lucky to be my mare.”

“That must have been one sad little village,” Dixie said snidely.

“Hmmp. I guarantee that I could bed any one of you if I wanted to. Nocturna excluded of course. All it would take is a few of my moves and you'd be begging for more.”

“Ugh!” Dixie said revolted. “You lecherous old satyr!”

“You say that now, but we'll see if you change your tune.”

Maneia smiled and called out to the stallion. “Maybe you should try wooing Wildflower first, I'm sure she's not too choosey.”

Dixie clicked for Wildflower's attention. The green mare jumped out of the pool and shook herself before trotting over to the unicorn. Dixie rubbed behind the pony's ear. “Wildflower may be a bit uncultivated, but that doesn't mean she isn't as sensible as the next girl.”

Luster packed up the chess board and started to make his way back inside. He called over his shoulder playfully. “I'll leave you ladies to whatever it is mares do nowadays. I'll be in the study if you can't resist your primal urges.”

Dixie stuck her tongue at the stallion. “Come Daisy, I've got appointments to keep.” She stretched out her hooves, and then stood. “Don't worry Maneia, we'll be there tonight.”

As the sisters left, Nocturna's horn flashed, two cups of tea appeared before herself and Maneia. She took a sip and waited.

Wildflower trotted up to Maneia and laid down beside her. “Vapid left,” the blue mare lamented.

A good distance away, Vapid crested a hill, the city of Ponyville coming into view. Asylum from the insanity was almost upon him. Vapid's relief was short lived as he collapsed. He gripped at his chest, a searing pain coursing through him with every heart beat.

“I know we're not the most.... normal ponies, but I really thought he'd see our charm.”

Tears streamed down the stallion's face. His insides were aflame with pain, a roaring flood of agony that threatened to consume him.

“It's his loss,” Nocturna soothed. “I'm sure he's already regretting it.”

Vapid coughed violently, flecks of blood rained onto the ground.

“You think so?”

Vapid's vision went dark; a single image was burned into his mind. Nocturna's disapproving stare akin to Vapid's own Sword of Damarecles, watched as he squirmed in anguish.

“I know so,” She replied reassuringly.

Vapid felt his bones begin to shatter, as if under an extreme pressure.

“Do you think he'll show up tonight?” Maneia asked.

“Undoubtedly.”

Vapid opened his eyes. No pain, no wounds, nothing, he was perfectly fine, as if nothing had happened. He picked himself up off the ground and continued forward. One word rang in his head, “tonight”. Undoubtedly this had been Nocturna's way of telling him he wasn't off the hook. Vapid wanted to cry, he had almost gotten away, going back to a normal life had felt tantalizingly close.

“Can my day get any worse?”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Luster stood outside the door to Faith's room, a white mouse gently floating next to him, held in the air by a golden aura. He stared silently at the door for several minutes, considering whether he could just leave and forget all about it. The absurdity of the situation stayed the stallion's hoof. Luster, a stallion that once struck fear into the hearts of ponies, who even the alicorns trembled before his might, now stood preparing to apologize to a mare that was barely older than a filly. Once upon a time he would have destroyed her for daring to be upset with him, but the old unicorn knew those days were long since past.

“I'm scared.... of apologizing... how far have you fallen Luster?” he asked himself quietly.

Exhaling loudly, he rolled his eyes. “Might as well get this over with,” he said, knocking on the door.

The metal door slid open, revealing a placid Faith. “What's up?”

Luster pushed into the room, clearing his throat he looked around, not wanting to look directly at the mare. “I found this mouse and thought you might want it. I know how you like doing unspeakable acts to the defenseless,” he said, casually floating the mouse towards the mare.

Faith picked up a small wooden box and placed the mouse within. “You know me too well,” she said with a smile as she put the box on an already cluttered shelf, between a skull of questionable authenticity and a pile of small barbed balls.

Luster walked over to the center of the room where a large white bed rested. He poked it with a hoof, not wanting to continue.

Faith sidled up next to the stallion. “Is there something else?”

After poking the bed a few more times, he spoke. “I'm only going to say this because I like you.” He turned to the robotic mare. “I'm sorry I upset you. I know you've had it rough, that's part of the reason why we get along so well, and I didn't mean to hurt you.”

“You're actually apologizing?” she asked.

“Yes, I just did and I'm not doing it again,” he said with a chuckle. “So you don't need to cut off my horn in my sleep or anything now.”

Faith smiled. “I forgive you, Luster.” She walked past the stallion, playfully bumping him with her flank. “I was just messing with you anyways. I just wanted to make you feel bad.”

Luster shook his head. “What else is new?”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“I don't understand,” Vapid said dejectedly. “I paid for that house.”

“You have my condolences,” a squat earth pony said in an emotionless tone. “But there's nothing we can do.”

“But I paid for that house,” Vapid repeated.

The pony looked at the distraught stallion over her glasses. “Upon Princess Luna's last visit, the residence at...” she looked down and shuffled a few papers. “1256 Rosebud Lane was destroyed by a rampaging cave troll. After the troll was successfully subdued and relocated, the princess decreed that it was the perfect location for...” more shuffling of papers. “a quote 'glorious display of nature's beauty' unquote.” The mare pushed her glasses up. “She then used her magic to grow a new public garden. Property values have risen 9.7 percent.”

“But what about all the bits I paid?”

“The princess has provided 1,000 bits to compensate for your losses.”

“But that's nowhere near what I paid for it!”

“You have to keep in mind that the princess is still adjusting to our time period. She probably hasn't gotten inflation down quite yet,” she said levelly. “You could always reject the compensation and try your case in the Royal Court, but you know how it is getting bits out of bureaucrats. I would advise you to take the 1,000 bits, for it's the best you are going to get.”

“This... this is...” Vapid stuttered.

“The will of the Princesses,” the mare finished. “Have a nice day sir.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Mr. Cake walked slowly, carefully pacing his stride. Precariously balanced on his back, a large crystal bowl was filled to the brim with purple punch. Rippling with every step, the drinks dark surface threatened to spill at the slightest provocation. Beads of sweat rolled down Mr. Cake's neck. Dealing with an ornery elderly stallion had put him behind schedule. Mrs. Cake had already made her way to the Library with a wagon full of tasty treats, now all he had to do was make sure to get the punch to the party.

Out of nowhere, a large pegasus flew past him, buffeting the stallion with a strong wind. “Ooh boy,” he cried as the bowl began to tilt. As his cargo reach the tipping point, a hoof reached out and steadied the punch bowl.

“Thank you so much,” he said turning to meet an orange mare. “I'm already late, so if I showed up empty hoofed, then my wife would have my hide.”

“You're more than welcome,” Dixie said in a not quite convincingly friendly tone. “I'm only glad I was passing by when I did.”

“You can say that again,” Mr. Cake laughed as he adjusted the bowl to sit squarely on his back.

Dixie stepped aside, an empty glass vial in her hoof. “You better get on to that party then, you don't want to keep Celestia waiting.”

“You got that right!” The stallion started forward before stopping again. He didn't recall telling the mare that Princess Celestia was at the party. “How'd you know...” he said, turning back to the mare, but stopped and blinked in surprise. The road behind him was desolate, not a single soul to be seen.

He chewed his lip in thought, then shrugged. It wasn't a secret that the Princess was in town, and the mare probably just assumed that he would be going there.

After Mr. Cake had disappeared from view, Nocturna stepped out from behind a building, her horn aglow. As the magic aura died away, Dixie popped back into existence.

“That's a handy little spell,” Dixie commented. “You'll have to teach it to me sometime.”

“It involves both bending the physical laws of reality and warping a pony's sense of perception.”

“Oh... well, maybe not then,” Dixie said a little deflated.

“You may want to brace yourself,” Nocturna warned.

“For what, darling?”

Nocturna pointed a hoof down the road. A speeding bullet shot towards the two unicorns, eliciting an alarmed, “Oh no,” from Dixie.

Throwing her wings wide, Daisycutter barely stopped just short of slamming into her sister, instead causing a gale of wind to blast into the unicorns. “So did you do it?” she asked excitedly.

Nocturna replied with an affirmative nod, her mane blown completely back. Dixie stood in wide eyed horror. Her perfectly kept mane had been utterly ruined, windswept failed to even come close to her current state. Coupled with the fact the gust of wind had kicked up a dust cloud, her coat was now sullied and dull.

“So we're done right?” Daisycutter asked warily, the reality of her situation sinking in.

“Daisy.... sweetie... we are going home now,” Dixie forced through gritted teeth. “I'm going to take a long, soothing bath. Then you are going to brush my mane... until your hooves bleed!”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Golden Oaks Library stood tall and proud. A massive tree, that even after being hollowed, still tenaciously clung to life. Orange and purples hues splashed across the sky as the setting sun was eclipsed by the grand tree. Rays of golden light framed the library, a fitting display for the Princess of the sun. Two white pegasi outfitted in golden armor stood to either side of the library's door.

Maneia stared at it in distaste, her brow furrowed as she watched ponies laughing and smiling as they entered the dwelling.

“Disgusting, absolutely disgusting.” She spat on the ground.

“You're not going to win any beauty pageants any time soon, but I wouldn't go that far,” Faith said beside her with a snicker.

“I wasn't talking about me!” Maneia said shooting the pony a glare.

Instead of her usual metallic appearance, Faith looked all the world to be just another average earth pony. Her body had gone from shiny gray to light pink and her now azure mane was styled up into a spiky fashion.

“Alright, the others should have spiked the punch by now. It's time for our move,” Maneia said, glancing around, checking to see if anypony was watching them. “Okay....go!”

The blue mare broke into a sprint, rolling and dodging around, rushing towards an unattended cart. Throwing herself behind it, she quickly looked around, checking whether or not she had been spotted. Satisfied nopony had seen her, she motioned for Faith to follow. The pink pony leisurely trotted over to the wagon, only one step above dragging her hooves. As Faith reached the hiding spot, Maneia reached out and quickly pulled her down. The mare poked her head around the edge of the cart, scanning the library.

_-_-_-_

Shooting Star waited until the last pony, a tall lanky stallion struggling under a large punch bowl, had entered the building before flexing his wings. He hated assignments like this. Standing guard, doing absolutely nothing while ponies laughed and partied directly behind him wasn't his idea of a good time. He didn't even see any real point in standing guard, either. Who would want to threaten the Princess? Nopony. The few times that anypony even wanted to attack the Princess, they would always be some super-powered freak that two measly guards wouldn't stand a chance against.

The stallion stared blankly ahead, hoping against hope that somepony would dare litter within his range of vision, thus giving him an excuse to actually do something. That, or a monkey, he liked watching monkeys. The way they used all their little fingers to hold things was his favorite thing to watch, but swinging in trees was a close second. Back in Canterlot he had even started a fan club he dubbed, Apeilepsy.

“Hey, check out those two,” the other guard whispered, nodding towards Maneia and Faith.

Shooting Star blinked several times, coming back from his primate filled fantasies. “What is it, Falling Star?” he whispered back out of the corner of his mouth.

“Those mares,” Falling Star replied. “They've been watching us for thirty minutes now.”

“Oh. What do you think they want?”

Falling Star allowed himself a quick smirk. “In a small time town like this, a couple of attractive Canterlot studs probably look pretty good.”

“Huh?” Shooting Star said, not quite up to speed with his partner.

“They want us you donkey brain!” Falling Star said raising his voice. Just on the other side of the library door, Cranky Doodle Donkey shed a single tear.

“Oh... that's nice.”

“Not as nice as the flank on the blue one,” Falling Star said sleazily.

“Yeah,” Shooting Star agreed absently.

Falling Star narrowed his eyes. “You're thinking about monkeys again aren't you?”

“Hey, they're moving,” Shooting Star said deflecting the question.

The two guards watched silently as the blue mare tripped, falling onto her face. She quickly rolled on the ground, pretending like she had meant to do the maneuver the entire time. She bobbed and weaved in no discernible pattern. Rolling in the dirt a few more times, she leapt behind an empty cart. Her curled purple tail still stuck blatantly out in the open. Her pink friend leisurely walked over to join her before getting yanked behind the cart.

Falling Star was quiet for a few moments. “So...... monkeys then?”

_-_-_-_

Wiping the sweat from her forehead, Maneia sighed in relief. “I don't think they saw us.”

Crawling to the other end of the cart, she peeped around the corner. “Alright Faith, here's the plan. See those bushes underneath the window? When I distract the guards, you sneak over there and do your thing. Got it?”

“I'll consider it,” Faith replied coolly.

“Good, and be sure not to miss a thing. I want you to record all of it,” Maneia smiled wickedly.

_-_-_-_

“Really?” Falling Star said incredulously. “That many bananas?”

“Mmmhmm.” Shooting Star affirmed. “Uh oh.”

“Uh oh what?”

“Your marefriend is coming this way.”

Falling Star groaned. “Why do I always get the crazy ones?”

“Opposites attract?”

“Well thank you very much,” Falling Star said flattered.

“No problem buddy.”

“Shh! Act professional.”

Maneia trotted up to the pegasi and flashed them her biggest, most totally not suspicious or crazy in any way smile. Shooting Star would see it in his nightmares for weeks.

“I was just passing by when I couldn't help but notice that you were throwing some sort of shindig.” She nuzzled up to Falling Star, causing him to blush profusely. “What does a girl got to do to get a little party on in this town?”

Looking fixedly ahead, Shooting Star addressed the mare. “You are free to go in. It's a meet and greet. The Princess wants to be more personable with her subjects.”

“I can just go in?”

“Yeah, just behave yourself.”

“Oh.”

The three ponies stared at each other, unspeaking.

Clearing her throat, Maneia stepped forward. “Well I guess I'll go inside then.”

The two pegasi stepped aside, allowing her to pass through. After she had gone, Falling Star let out a breath that he didn't realize he'd been holding.

“How come she rubbed up against you?” Shooting Star asked enviously.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Vapid swirled the drink in his cup, watching the liquid form into a small whirlpool. Why did the world always have to be against him? Why couldn't he get a break, just once? Lifting the paper cup, he angrily downed the punch, wincing at an unfamiliar sour taste.

He didn't even know why he was at the library. He didn't care about meeting the Princess, although if he were a braver pony he might feel inclined to express his displeasure about her sister, and if he had any sense then he would have been as far away from the town, and by extension the malevolent Nocturna, as his hooves could carry him, but for some reason he had come here.

He had lost all his earthly possessions along with his entire savings to the rushing waters of Ghastly Gorge. He had been physically and mentally tortured by an insane unicorn. He had been made homeless by the sudden fancy of the Princesses. He was sick of it. The stallion's stomach gurgled noisily. Too sick of it, he thought, as a wave of nausea rose through him.

Ponies milled about the library, chatting and obliviously imbibing the party's refreshments. Celestia stood in the room's center, the party orbiting around her. She smiled and spoke whenever ponies reverently approached her, wanting to see and be near their Princess, but not daring to push close enough to risk offending her. Standing beside the monarch, Twilight Sparkle happily regaled the Princess with tales of her latest adventures in friendship. Celestia laughed as Twilight told her of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy's recent mishaps.

“That sounds like quite the mix-up.” Celestia said, sipping from her glass.

Twilight nodded in agreement. “It was, but it really brought them closer together as friends.” The purple unicorn grimaced.

Celestia raised a regal eyebrow. “Is something wrong Twilight?” Celestia frowned slightly as a severe queasiness overcame her.

“It's nothing Princess,” Twilight said, rubbing a hoof against her stomach.

The sound of a pony violently vomiting cut through the room, the first sign that the floodgates were about to open. Retching filled the library, a symphony of sick and bilious ponies. Vapid gained control of his body long enough to watch as the Element of Magic spewed the contents of her stomach onto the goddess of the sun. Everything after that turned into a blur as his vision began to spin, sending the stallion to the floor. Vapid curled into a ball, his stomach a churning cauldron of anguish. Moaning and heaving bombarded the stallion. Squeezing his eyes shut, his head was assaulted by a splitting headache.

“Vapid!” a mare's voice said, cutting through the din of sick. “You did come!”

Forcing his eyes open, Vapid looked up into Maneia's beaming face. Her visible eye almost sparkled as her grin grew wider and wider. “I knew you wouldn't leave us.”

“Uhhurgh,” Vapid replied shivering as his body started going cold.

In a flash of blue light Vapid levitated off the ground and onto the mare's back. “Come on.”

She stepped gingerly across the room, past squirming ponies and over puddles of assorted nastiness, careful to not get any on her coat. She sidestepped out-of-the-way as the two guards frantically rushed towards the Princess. Shooting Star's hooves shot out from underneath him as he stepped on a slick spot. The stallion cried out as he careened into the royal alicorn, forcing her to rupture more of her bodily fluids. Standing in the doorway, Maneia took in her hoofdywork and smiled impishly.

“Disgusting, absolutely disgusting.”

Her moment of triumph quickly turned to one of repulsion as Vapid gagged up some fresh bile onto the back of her neck, sending a shiver down her spine.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Bolting upright, Vapid awoke in a cold sweat. Fluffy blankets covered the stallion, caressing him in their warm embrace. Back in his room at the mansion, Vapid noted blankly, unsure of how he had actually gotten into the bed.

“Welcome back to the world of the living,” Maneia said warmly, placing a bowl of oatmeal on the bedside table. Sitting on the bed's edge, she held a hoof to the stallion's forehead. “You seem to be doing a lot better.”

“What happened?” the stallion asked, trying to remember the previous night's events.

“A glorious victory happened. Last night was the Overly Impressive Mare's first ever strike against the alicorns and it was a rousing success if I do say so myself.” She allowed herself a smug smile. “Diluted manticore venom can cause one heck of a show.”

Vapid grimaced as he all too keenly recalled what it could do.

“After I ingeniously tricked the guards into letting me in, I watched the magic happen.” She leviated Vapid the bowl of oatmeal and prompted him to eat. “I then saw you were in a bad spot, so I hightailed us out of there and brought you back here. Faith pumped your stomach out and Nocturna brewed up some kind of elixir. It smelled pretty bad and I think it might have been sentient, but I got it in you eventually.”

Almost spilling his breakfast, Vapid jumped as a large mass moved under the sheets. Popping her head out, Wildflower licked the stallion's cheek.

Maneia laughed. “You wouldn't stop shivering, so she wanted to help keep you warm.”

Looking at the green mare, for the first time in longer than he could remember, Vapid smiled. With a gentle hoof he reached out and petted her, rubbing behind her ear.

“You said you used diluted venom?” Vapid asked confused. “I thought you were trying to kill the Princesses.”

“Well aren't you the enterprising one!” she replied, amused. “The demise of the Princesses is coming, but we don't necessarily have to kill them to gain our goals, we're not savages after all. We just need to prove that they're not the supreme beings everypony thinks they are.” Maneia locked eyes with Vapid, the genuine belief in her words shone clearly in her voice. “If we can show ponies this undeniable fact, that the Princesses are not better than you or me, that their time has long since passed, then change will surely follow in its wake. Realization brings revitalization. Last night was just the start, the first chink in their facade. It's hard for somepony to look high and mighty when they're writhing in a pool of their own vomit. Plus, everypony else who got sick will always remember that night when they think of the Princesses, thus associating bad memories and the Princess together.”

Vapid shook his head. “Even if what you said was true, the Princesses won't just give up.”

As the two ponies concentrated on each other, Wildflower took the opportunity to lap at the bowl of oatmeal sitting in the stallion's lap.

“If enough ponies see the truth, then they'll have no other choice.” She playfully punched his shoulder. “Besides, with you and me as a team, who can beat us?”

Hundreds of reasons why they would lose should have come to the stallion, a sense of dread or even anger at being held against his will should have wracked his mind, but instead, a strange sensation took their place. All his life he had been ignored and unwanted by everypony, but for the first time, there was somepony that actually cared about him, two counting the mare busily scoffing down his breakfast. Yes, the others were less than welcoming, Nocturna could and most likely would end him, and during the past two days he'd been put through more mental trauma and physical anguish than he'd every experienced, but even though every fiber of his body should have been screaming at him to leave and never look back, in that one moment, sitting in a bed with a pony that thought she was a dog and a mare who wanted nothing more than the annihilation of thousands of years of Equestrian existence, he was happy. Friends had always seemed an elusive dream, something that happened to other ponies, and now the opportunity he had given up for naught laid before him. With one hundred percent certainty, he knew that he would end up regretting it, but Celestia herself couldn't stop him from doing it.

He reached out and took Maneia's hoof. “No pony, that's who!”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

You can reach me at dustyc01@gmail.com
or visit thelordofdust.deviantart.com
or visit obsessionismagic.blogspot.com
or visit http://www.youtube.com/user/ObsessionIsMagic

Episode 2 - Rise of the Lacerating Lady

Megalomaneia
Episode 2
Rise of the Lacerating Lady

Written by The Lord of Dust

“Perfect.” Dixie dabbed her brush against the canvas, putting the finishing touch on her latest masterpiece, or at least that's what she kept telling herself it was. She was a decent artist, on that anypony would agree, but her art never seemed to be quite good enough to capture anypony's attention. The orange unicorn loved to create beauty, whether it be through paint on a canvas, plush dolls that she sewed and stuffed by hoof, mini wooden ponies lovingly whittled into existence, or just any little odds and ends that she felt compelled to craft. Her cutie mark, a pocket knife crossed over with a paintbrush, its tip covered in red paint, reflected her talent. If only everypony else could appreciate her work, then maybe she could truly make a living doing what she loved. Sadly that dream seemed destined to never come to fruition.

Dixie smiled, admiring her work, but behind the expression, her mind was wracked with worry. The two sisters lived in a small house near the center of town. A living room that had been converted into a cluttered shop, a barebones kitchen, one cramped bathroom, a musty attic, and a single bedroom with one large queen sized bed that the two sisters shared, formed the residence. A generous minded pony might consider it cozy, Dixie considered it cramped and unbecoming. The sisters had done their best at decorating, thick velvet curtains, matched by plush carpet, desperately tried to make the interior look opulent and fanciful. Furniture with plump, inviting cushions added to the feel of the house. Artwork, mostly her own, hung from the walls, another attempt at adding class. While the interior screamed of desiring affluence, it only served to draw the mind in the opposite direction, knock offs and cheap imitations sabotaging the ambiance.

Watching ponies pass down the street, Dixie stretched out on the old wooden swing. She often sat on the porch as she worked, enjoying the energy of the bustling town. The sound of happy ponies going about their daily routines usually relaxed the mare, but today it wasn't enough. A brightly colored wooden sign hung from the building, proudly proclaiming it to be “Dixie and Daisy's Doodles and Doodads.” She batted at her mane flip, watching the blue hair bounce gently.

The mare's thoughts fell to Daisycutter. Dixie had sent her sister off to stock up on the week's groceries, leaving her alone with her work for the morning. “We're not going to have enough,” Dixie said to herself with a sad sigh.

“I hope you're not talking about my payment Miss Dixie.” Startling the mare, a yellow stallion stepped onto the porch, a five dollar smile plastered across his face. He wore a white cowboy hat, pulled low, partially obscuring his eyes. On his flank, his cutie mark depicted a silver knife cutting in half a gold coin. “Because that would be a right problem, now wouldn't it.”

“Mr. Cut-rate!” Dixie said quickly getting to her hooves. “What do I owe the pleasure?” Her words were polite, but her tone was anything but.

“I just thought I'd stop by and be neighborly.” Cut-rate leaned against the veranda's railing. “You know you owe me quite a sum of bits?”

Narrowing her eyes, Dixie kept her voice calm. “I am aware.”

“Then you're also aware that your debt has been owed to me for some time.” His predatory smile grew larger. “Only because of my gracious demeanor have I let it slide this long. Pretty nice of me, wouldn't you say?”

Glaring, Dixie gritted her teeth. “I'm thankful Mr. Cut-rate.”

“Indeed you should be.” The stallion leaned in close to the mare, coming muzzle to muzzle. Even though Dixie felt reviled being so intimately close with Cut-rate, she held her ground. “My generosity does have it limits, as I'm sure a pretty mare like yourself can understand. If you don't have my bits by the end of the week.” He put on his sleaziest smile. “Then I'll have no other choice than to take this quaint little shop.”

As his breathe rolled across Dixie's face, her stomach turned. “You'll get yours, don't you worry,” the unicorn replied coldly.

Cut-rate stepped off the porch. “Oh I don't doubt it. One way or the other, I always get what's owed me.” He took several steps before stopping. He spoke softly, almost as if too himself. “This really is an ideal location, I can't wait until it's mine.”

Trotting away, the stallion whistled a tune, his smile still intact. Dixie waited until Cut-rate was out of site before flopping back onto the couch. Her face split into a scowl. “I bucking hate stallions.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Laughter filled the air. “Wait! Faith, play that part again,” Maneia said between laughs, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Please don't,” Vapid interjected, completely and utterly ignored.

The three ponies sat on a large sofa in a darkened room. Light poured from Faith's eyes, splashing onto a white screen placed against the wall. A still image of the Golden Oaks library, filled with sick ponies projected onto the wall. Tilting her head to the left, the image changed, the ponies slowly moving in reverse.

“Here, this part,” Maneia said pointing towards the screen.

Faith straightened her head, causing the video to resume play. Maneia grabbed a hoofful of popcorn, her eyes locked on the show. Celestia filled the screen, her face turning from white to green before violently covering her faithful student. In a burst of laughter, the blue unicorn sent popcorn flying, scattering across the furniture and floor.

“You know who that is right?” Maneia asked elbowing Vapid.

Vapid, swallowed down his queasiness and studied the image. “No, I can't say I'm familiar with her.”

“That's Twilight Sparkle,” Faith said pausing the video. Zooming in closer to the unhappy purple mare, she illuminated the stallion. “She is a personal student of Celestia, her brother is captain of the Royal Guard, she's one of the six Elements of Harmony, the Element of Magic, and to top it off she's supposedly a genius with a stupid amount of magical power.”

“In other words,” Maneia added. “She's going to be a major problem.”

With a digital blink, Faith's eyes switched from the bright projectors back to their normal soft blue glow.

“But,” the blue mare continued. “If we converted her over to our side, then she would be a huge blow against Celestia.”

Faith grabbed a hoofful of popcorn. “If is the key word. She's obscenely loyal to the Princess, nearly to the point of Celestia being a second mother figure to her. It'd be almost impossible to turn her against Celestia.”

Vapid frowned at the thought of casually ruining a pony's lifelong mentor relationship. “If that's true then it would be a waste of time to even try.”

Flashing a smile, Maneia rubbed her hooves together. “Ah, but I've got a plan. There are five other Elements. First we secretly win over the other Elements, then once all of her friends are ours, she'll easily cave in to peer pressure.”

“That's a great idea, it really is,” Vapid said hastily. “But how about instead, we write an orderly letter to Celestia, detailing exactly how we feel and outline a series of propositions...” His suggestion slowly died away as the two mares stonily stared at him. Vapid coughed awkwardly. “Or not.”

“That was painful to listen to,” Faith remarked shaking her head. “I think we are all more boring because of it.”

“No... no, it was a good attempt,” Maneia said soothingly. “It's just not... up to par with what we're looking for.”

Rolling her eyes, Faith stuffed her mouth with more popcorn. “In other words if we need to put somepony to sleep, then we'll go with your idea.”

Vapid held his tongue, both knowing it would be futile and with Faith around, slightly dangerous to argue. “So I assume we're going to start this brainwashing scheme today.”

Picking up her tail, Maneia twirled a hoof around one of the curls. Chewing her lip in thought, her face contorted in indecision. “I supposed we could go ahead and start with Applejack, but...”

“But?” Vapid prompted, hoping the mare was having a change of heart.

“Well, the thing is. After I heroically killed that manticore, I mentioned to Nocturna it'd be a shame to let it go to waste.”

With a sharp intake of breath, Faith grabbed Maneia, the two mares locking eyes. “You don't mean...”

“Yes!” Maneia affirmed, nodding her head. “Nocturna is...”

“Cooking!” Faith moaned in delight, causing Vapid to blush involuntarily.

“So I take it this is a good thing?” Vapid asked, hoping they wouldn't notice his reddened face.

The mares' eyes sparkled as they grasped each others' hooves.

“Usually we have the ponzies prepare our food.” A dribble of drool ran out the corner of Maneia's mouth. “But once in a blue moon, Nocturna decides to take it upon herself to cook.”

“The end result is nothing short of glorious,” Faith added, a sense of wonder in her voice.

Watching the two mares slowly lose what little sanity they had, Vapid continued his original inquiry. “So about that plan?”

Turning on Vapid with a snarl, Faith's eyes burned with passion. “If Nocturna is cooking, then I'm not leaving this house!”

“It's only nine in the morning, that's still plenty of time to kill before dinner,” Vapid pointed out logically.

“Yeah,” Maneia said gravely. “But what if Nocturna gets everything ready and we're not back yet?”

“Don't even say that,” Faith reprimanded, horrified.

Vapid smiled. He definitely wouldn't mind a nice, simple day of sitting around the mansion. A cold chill ran down his spine as Faith slid next to him.

The robotic mare grinned wickedly. “Seeing as how we're not going anywhere, I've got a couple of tests I've been needing some help with.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Daisycutter happily trotted towards home, her saddlebags filled with sustenance. She nodded to all the ponies she met, greeting them all with a cheerful hello. The brown pegasus perked her ear at a buzzing sound as she neared a corner.

“Watch out!” a young filly cried as she careened into Daisycutter, a metal scooter jamming into her side, knocking the wind out of the pegasus and scattering the groceries across the ground.

“Oh my head,” the filly said lying dazed atop of Daisycutter.

“Oh my candy,” Daisycutter said in despair as she stood up, eying a squashed pack of sweets. She looked back at the filly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I'm alright.” The filly flexed her short wings. “I guess I was pushing it a bit too fast. I didn't see you come around that corner... I'm really sorry about that.”

“Ah, it's okay, accidents happen.” Daisycutter used her wing to lift up the small pegasus and place her back on the ground.

Noticing the mess she had caused, the filly blushed. “I'll help you pick everything up.”

“Well thank you kindly,” Daisycutter said with a smile, adjusting her bandana back into place.

The two pegasi quickly cleaned up the spilled food, placing them back within Daisycutter's saddlebags.

“You're really tall,” the filly stated, looking up at the pegasus.

Daisycutter chuckled. “Yup, my sister used to tease me saying I was half alicorn.”

The small pony laughed, before a gurgle from her stomach elicited a nervous chuckle from the little filly.

With a smile, Daisycutter leaned down next to the pegasus. “Ya hungry?”

The filly blushed again. “A little. I was so late for our meeting that I skipped lunch.”

Reaching into her bag, Daisycutter pulled out an apple. Dusting it off, she offered it to the filly, who took it appreciatively.

“Thanks... what's your name by the way?”

“My name's Daisycutter. What's yours?”

“I'm Scootaloo.”

Daisycutter stuck out her hoof. After a brief hesitation, the small pegasus took the hoof and shook it. “Well, it's good to meet you Scootaloo.”

Scootaloo beamed at the larger pegasus. “Back at ya.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Daisy, I'm glad your back,” Dixie greeted as her sister entered the kitchen.

Opening the refrigerator, Daisycutter began unpacking all the perishables. Dixie busily rooted through the groceries, finding what she needed to prepare them lunch. Her horn glowed as food and utensils flew through the air.

“I'm happy to see you too,” Daisycutter replied.

Even though Dixie's voice was chirpy, Daisycutter could tell it was forced. “Once we eat I've got big plans for us today.”

The pegasus raised an eyebrow. “We do?”

“Yes,” Dixie stated, slathering a slice of bread with butter. “We're going to go make some money. Doesn't that sound like fun?”

Shutting the refrigerator, Daisycutter eyed her sister warily. “To tell you the truth, no it doesn't.”

“Well, it will be,” Dixie said before taking a bite of her freshly made sandwich. “I hear Sugar Cube Corner is looking for some extra help, so we'll see if they need two hard working girls.”

Daisycutter frowned. “We have a store,” she said gesturing in the direction of the front room. “So we already have jobs.”

“It'll be just for a couple days. We need a bit of extra money and the shop can basically run itself, so it won't kill us to do an honest day's work.”

Dixie and Daisy's Doodles and Doodads was very relaxed when it came to operations. A small wooden pony, a thin slot cut into its back, sat on a polished counter next to the door. When a customer, few that they were, wanted to make a purchase, all they needed to do was place their bits into the imitation pony, then leave with their goods. If a pony felt like skipping the whole, 'paying for it' step, and tried to leave with any merchandise, then a magical deterrent system would kick into effect. Dixie wasn't quite sure what it would do since nopony had ever tried stealing anything before, plus she hadn't been the one to implement the system. Nocturna had spent an entire day carving strange runes and casting complex spells to set up the shops automation. She had explained in great detail everything she had done, but Dixie had just smiled and nodded, the white unicorn's vast knowledge of magic overloading Dixie's much smaller understanding.

“Is there a reason why we suddenly need more bits?” Daisycutter asked.

Dixie turned away from her younger sister, not letting her see the grimace on her face. “Cut-rate came by today, and he's becoming impatient on what we owe him.”

Wrinkling her nose, Daisycutter stuck out her tongue. “That creep. Don't we have enough to pay him back yet?”

Sighing, Dixie turned back to the brown pegasus. “Not even close. But I do have a plan. The next few days we work our flanks off, then once we've proven we're great employees, we ask our new employers for a loan. After that we pay Cut-rate, then work off our new debts.”

“So we're still going to be in debt... just to different ponies,” Daisycutter said slowly, not sure what the point was.

“Yes, but being in debt to anypony else is better than being in debt to Cut-rate,” Dixie said floating a tomato sandwich over to her sister. Daisycutter took the sandwich and quickly scarfed it down, barely giving time to chew.

“Why don't we just ask Nocturna?” the pegasus suggested through a mouthful of bread and vegetables. “I'm sure she wouldn't mind helping us.”

Frowning, Dixie shook her head. “Our problems are our own. I've never gotten on my knees and begged for something in my life and I'm not about to start now.”

“I'm pretty sure she wouldn't make us do that, plus you know how rich she is, she wouldn't even bat an eyelash at that kind of money.”

Dixie shot the pegasus a stern look. “It's the principle of the matter. She is our friend, if we were to expect her to bail us out of every problem, then what kind of friends would we be in return?”

“I suppose your right,” Daisycutter sighed, still not understanding her sisters reasoning. “As usual.”

“Now come along, we've got a whole day ahead of us, let's make the most of it.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Vapid, can you hear me?”

Groggily opening his eyes, Vapid's vision filled with a blue and purple blur. “Ghuh.”

“See,” Faith said casually. “I told you he would be fine.”

“He stopped breathing!” Maneia cried in exasperation.

“Yes,” Faith acquiesced. “But now, he is breathing, so it worked itself out, just like I said it would.”

As Vapid's vision slowly began to focus, he realized that despite all this talk of breathing, he was finding it very difficult to do so. He tried moving his forehooves, but they refused to budge. “Huuhh.”

“What was in that pill anyway?” Maneia asked glaring at the electronic pony.

Smiling wickedly, she produced a glass vial, filled with small green tablets. “It's my own secret recipe, top secret.”

“Gurgh,” Vapid wheezed, his vision clearing. He lay on the floor, Maneia sitting atop his chest. He limply tried to push her off, but his legs were still numb from the drugs. Turning to face the mechanical pony still sitting on the couch, Maneia's dark purple tail swept over Vapid's face, threatening to suffocate him.

Maneia huffed angrily. “Why do you even need those?”

“A mare never knows when she might need to chemically incapacitate a pony.” Faith giggled unnervingly.

“On second thought I'd rather not know,” the blue mare said disquieted. She turned back to the stallion, her tail sliding off his muzzle. Maneia blanched. “Uh oh.”

Jumping to her hooves, she brought her ear to his mouth, then to his chest. “He doesn't have a heartbeat,” she said both horrified and embarrassed.

“It'll work itself out,” Faith yawned stretching out across the couch. “Or it won't, I'm fine with either.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Luster scowled as he looked up at the sugary edifice. Sugar Cube Corner flamboyantly proclaimed to any passersby that within its walls tasty treats were sure to reside. Bright and colorful, it disgusted the elderly stallion. He considered it too over the top, the visual equivalent of eating a spoonful of cinnamon. “Oh, I wonder what they could possibly do here,” he said sarcastically

Pushing the doors open, he walked up to the counter and hit the bell, grumpily waiting to be served. “What are you doing here?” Luster asked surprised as Daisycutter burst into the room, thick smoke and the sound of scrambling hooves following her from the doors to the kitchen.

“Luster!” Daisycutter greeted cheerfully. Flour and dough covered the mare, her black bandana white with powder. She trotted over to the counter, swinging her hips. “Dixie and I work here now. It's pretty awesome too, after a week, we get to eat anything that didn't sell!”

“Do ya now?” Luster said. Finding the mare working at the bakery had thrown him off guard.

“Mmhmm. Mr. Cake and the other employee here went on a delivery run to Baltimare, so Mrs. Cake hired us to help her while they're gone.”

“Sounds reasonable.” Luster placed several bits onto the counter top. “In that case I'd like to purchase a bag of luster dust.”

The pegasus grimaced. “We just used up our entire stock. Turns out it's extremely flammable.”

“Oh, well that's unfortunate,” Luster said slowly. “I guess Nocturna will have to make do without it. Which reminds me, that daughter of mine is cooking everypony a big dinner tonight, so don't be late because I'm not going to wait on you and I won't promise that I'll save you any either.”

Daisycutter flattened her ears, crestfallen. “I don't think we'll be able to go.”

Arching an eyebrow, Luster gave the mare a curious look. “Why not?”

The large pegasus glanced back towards the kitchen doors, the smoke and clattering had died down, only to be replaced with the sound of two mares arguing, their voices quickly growing louder and angrier. “Well the thing is, Dixie borrowed a lot of bits from this scumbag, and now he wants his money.”

“And you two don't have enough to pay him back,” Luster guessed.

“Bingo.”

“If you're having problems why didn't you ask us for help?” he said shaking his head. “Why go to some loanshark in the first place?”

“That's what I said!” the mare replied exasperated. “But Dixie doesn't like being dependent on others... it's this weird self-reliance thing she's stuck on.”

“There's nothing wrong with that, but it sounds like she's just being stubborn.” Luster stroked his chin. “Who's this pony anyway?”

“He's called Cut-rate, wears a big hat, always has a sleazy grin.” She exaggerated a large smile and twirled her hooves over her head.

“Tell you what,” Luster said turning and slowly trotting towards the exit. “Just make sure you and your sister show up tonight. After all, we wouldn’t want to let good food go to waste.”

“Oh! Your bits, you almost forgot them.”

“Keep 'em,” the stallion replied opening the door. “Sounds like you need it more than I do.”

Daisycutter smiled, scooping up the bits. The kitchen doors slamming open caused her to jump, sending the coins clattering onto the floor. Dixie stomped into the room, her mane ruined by a thick layer of wet dough. Glittering, golden dust covered her tail and hind quarters.

“Come on Daisy,” Dixie seethed. “I need a shower.”

“Don't we still have orders to fill?” Daisycutter asked confused.

“It's not our problem anymore,” Dixie said, her eye twitching.

“Oh... you mean we got fired... right?” Daisycutter realized.

“No, we quit!” Dixie shouted towards the double doors leading back into the kitchen. “Daisy, sweetheart, we're leaving right now!”

Paleing, Daisycutter swiftly scooped up the dropped coins. Pumping her wings, she jumped over the counter and trotted after the fuming unicorn.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Alright,” Dixie said stepping out of the bathroom, her mane and coat restored to pristine condition. “I've cleaned up and calmed down.”

“That's good to hear.” Daisycutter lounged on the single bed. While Dixie had commandeered the small bathroom, the pegasus had simply gone to the back yard and washed herself off with the water hose. “I haven't seen you that mad in a long while.”

Scrunching her nose, Dixie shamefacedly kicked at the floor. “No, that wasn't one of my shining moments.”

Daisycutter risked pocking fun at her sister. “Yeah, you're usually the Queen of Cordiality, but sometimes you turn into a real Lacerating Lady.”

“She brought it on herself. Even if you accidentally broke the oven, and bent all the kitchenware, and started a small fire, she had no right to say the things she did.” Dixie also knew her outburst towards Mrs. Cake had a large deal to do with her anxiety over their looming date with Cut-rate, but she didn't want to overly worry Daisycutter about it.

“Well, Mrs. Cake does have two foals, so when things got.... explosiony, her motherly instincts probably got her all emotional,” Daisycutter explained rationally. “Plus, she didn't really say anything that bad, and besides that I'm a grown mare, I can handle a bit of badmouthing.”

“That may be so,” Dixie said. “But I won't just stand idly by and watch anypony put down my sister.”

Daisycutter suppressed a giggle. “It's a good thing I'm not lactose intolerant, because things just got cheesy.”

Dramatically leaning back, the unicorn spun and fell onto the bed, landing next to her younger sister. “I'm a tad overprotective... so I have a single flaw. Noponies perfect. Although I am pretty close,” Dixie said straight-faced, trying not to smile. A single glance at her sister was enough to break her resolve. Laughing, she grabbed Daisycutter in a headlock. “I'll show you who's a Lacerating Lady!”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Vapid jolted awake, electricity coursing through him. His eyes darted back and forth, quickly taking in his surroundings. Instead of Maneia's compassionate face, this time he was met with the unsettling leer of Faith. The metallic mare straddled his torso, her figure intimately close to his, but only the cables from her mane and tail actually touched his body.

“Did it work?” Maneia asked from behind her, out of the stallion's view.

Faith grinned wickedly. “Not yet, I'll try again.”

Before Vapid could respond, arcs of electricity sparked from the tips of the cables. Dozens of mini lightning bolts coursed into the stallion, casting the room into stark light and shadows.

“Ah,” Faith cooed stepping off the stallion, small curls of smoke wafting from his coat. “It looks like I've saved the day yet again.”

“You're the one who got him like that!” Maneia admonished, walking over to the stallion. She nuzzled her head under his side, helping him get to his hooves, then onto the couch.

“I'm not the one with the asphyxiating tail,” Faith vindictively pointed out.

“That was an accident!” Maneia blurted, her cheeks burning red. She turned to Vapid, grabbing his shoulders. “You know I didn't do that on purpose, right?”

Vapid opened his mouth to respond, but instead a puff of smoke escaped his lips. Maneia threw her hooves around him, knocking the stallion over. Faith scrambled, but failed to move in time. With a thud and a clatter the three ponies fell onto the floor, Faith crushed under the mare and stallion.

Maneia squeezed Vapid tightly. Teary-eyed, she stared at the stallion. “Oh please forgive me! I swear I'll never kill you again!”

Through Maneia's vice-like grip, Vapid choked out a reply. “I... forgive... you.”

“Get off!” Faith tersely demanded.

Maneia continued hugging the gray earth pony, crying tears of joy. Upon being ignored, Faith growled in annoyance, the tips of her mane and tail flaring to life with energy. The smell of burnt hair filled the room as the three ponies crackled with electricity.

“Uhhhh,” Maneia groaned, her vision spinning.

“Nrrunh,” Vapid declared, teetering on the verge of consciousness.

The screens depicting her cutie mark had gone dark, while her eyes depicted a flashing error message. Sparks shot from a newly formed crack in her right foreleg, oil slowly began to puddle underneath her. “I... didn't think that through.”

The door to the living room opened. Luster stepped into the room, whistling a tune. Dying on his lips, he stopped, the room falling into silence. He looked at the three ponies, passed out one on top of the other. Grimacing, he turned away, shaking his head. “If you're going to do that kind of stuff, then do it in a bedroom... or at least invite me next time.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Now all y'all need to do is buck the trees,” an orange mare said lashing her back hooves against an apple tree. “And then just make sure all the apples go in these here barrels. Pretty straightforward.”

“Alright Applejack,” Dixie said looking up at the apples overhead. “I think we can handle it from here.”

“Kick the trees, pick up the apples,” Daisycutter affirmed taking a bite out of the freshly fallen fruit.

Smiling, the Stetson wearing mare nodded her head at the two sisters. “If'n you two get thirsty, feel free to come up to the house and cool off with some cider. Now if you'll excuse me, what with my brother being laid up, I'm busier than a squirrel afore winter. ” The Element of Honesty trotted away, off to do her own work for the day.

“She seems like a real nice pony,” Daisycutter commented, trying to balance an apple on the tip of her nose.

Dixie bobbed her flank towards her sister, whipping her tail, she deftly flicked the red fruit off of Daisycutter's snout. “She does have a proper hospitality about her, but don't forget she is an Element of Harmony. That means Maneia, and by extension us, will go after her eventually.”

“You're a deadeye with that thing,” Daisycutter said playfully, twirling herself up in Dixie's tail.

Dixie gently pulled her tail away, unwrapping the pegasus. “You're avoiding the subject at hoof.”

Sighing, Daisycutter replied. “Yes, I understand who Applejack is and what that means, but that doesn't mean she isn't a decent pony.”

“That's exactly my point,” the unicorn said looking at her sister. “She is a good pony, that's the problem. I know how you are and I just don't want you to get too friendly with her, then have to turn against her later.”

Mulling it over, Daisycutter lowered her head. “That makes sense, I guess.”

“Now come on,” Dixie said nuzzling against her sister. “We've got bits to make and apples to buck.”

The two mares parted, each going to separate trees. Dixie eyed the apple tree, looking it up and down. Studying the tree, she pondered on how best to approach it. The north facing side of the trunk had a large knot on it so that wouldn't do, but the south facing side was relatively smooth.

Nodding to herself, slowly she approached the tree. Backing up, she stopped just short of touching the bark. She looked over her shoulder, and carefully raised her back leg, aiming her hoof for the perfect kick. Her hoof shot out, rocketing towards the unsuspecting tree. At the last second she pulled her kick, and gently tapped the wood. Leaves rustled as the wind gingerly swept through the orchard.

Panicking, the mare lifted her back hoof and desperately inspected it. After being satisfied with her findings, she sighed in relief. “For a second I thought I had chipped a hoof.”

Across the orchard Daisycutter prepared to buck her own tree. Approaching the tree, she swiftly spun around and kicked out her leg. With a snap, her hoof blew clean through the trunk.

“Uh oh.” Daisycutter wriggled her hoof, slowly pulling it out. She lowered her head and looked through the large hole, gingerly tracing it with her hoof. “Maybe that was a little too hard. I'll dial it back on the next tree.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“What in tarnation happened...” Applejack said, her voice barely a whisper.

A scene of tree genocide lay before her. Holes perforated the trees, several having toppled over, the holes in their trunks weakening them to the point of collapse.

“Where... where are they?” the mare demanded, her voice barely a whisper. The two sisters were nowhere to be seen, Applejack was alone with the small patch of destruction.

“My poor, poor apples.” Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes. She pulled her Stetson low, a grim expression forming across her face. “This ain't over... not by a long shot.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“I'm really sorry Dixie,” Daisycutter said hanging her head low as the pair trotted down a dark wooded path. Twisted and gnarled trees loomed to either side of the rough dirt road. The sun lowered towards the horizon, splashing the sky with warm orange and purples.

Dixie stalked through the forest road, her sister gloomily plodding behind her. “I'm not angry... I'm not.” Dixie fumed. “But I am confused by how you didn't just stop after destroying the first tree!”

Swishing her tail dejectedly, the pegasus stared down at the ground. “I was trying to find the right bucking speed.”

“You know how I said I didn't want you to become friends with Applejack?” Dixie scathingly asked. “Once she finds our mess you're definitely not going to have to worry about that.”

Daisycutter was silent, fighting back tears at both the thought of how horrible Applejack must be feeling and at how Dixie was disappointed in her.

Taking a deep, calming breathe Dixie stopped. “It's okay. Really, I'm not that angry with you. I'm just a little distraught because I don't know what we're going to do now.”

“We could always ask Nocturna,” Daisycutter suggested.

“It goes against all my sensibilities... but we may have to.”

Daisycutter lifted her head. “It's not like we're just taking it, we can always pay her back.”

“Yes, but we will never be able to earn our respect back. Once we've come clambering for money, it will always be a stain on our relationship.”

The two mares continued down the path in silence, an oppressive mood hanging over them like a dark storm cloud. Rising before them, Blackmore estate offered a sanctuary from the wilds of the Everfree forest.

Passing over the perfectly kept lawn, the sisters arrivde at the mansion's ornate front doors. As they drew near, the doors swung inward. Two ponzies beckoned the mares inside, bowing to the unicorn and pegasus as they entered the foyer.

“Weeelllllcccoooommmeee,” the ponzies moaned in greeting.

One of the ponzies began shambling towards the stairs, then stopped and looked back at the two ponies.

“That's quite alright,” Dixie said. “We know how to get there on our own.”

Nodding, the ponzie moaned and stepped aside, allowing the mares to continue. They mounted the stairs, venturing deeper into the home. While Blackmore was a labyrinth of rooms and corridors, they mares had been there enough times to know the way to all the important rooms, although they would never risk adventuring any farther for they might never find their way back out again.

“Alright, let's try to be pleasant, there's no need to darken everyponies evening just because we aren't happy.” Dixie put on her best smile and sashayed into the dining room, her sister, not so successfully brightening her mood, followed behind.

“It's about time you showed up,” Luster called from the far end of the room.

The old stallion sat at the table alone, Wildflower lazily laid on the floor beside him. Upon seeing Daisycutter, Wildflower jumped to her hooves and galloped over to the mare, happily yipping and wagging her tail as she forcefully rubbed up against the brown pegasus. Laughing, Daisycutter stretched her wing over the earth pony and gave her a squeeze, her blues all but forgotten upon the green mare's display of affection.

As the two mares sat down across from Luster, Nocturna swept into the room. “Dinner, is served.”

A parade of ponzies filtered into the dining room, all bearing dishes of mouth watering food. Nocturna took her place at the table as the ponzies set to work, loading the table with fruits, vegetables, and meats.

Inhaling the aroma, Luster beamed. “It's been years since I've had manticore stew.”

Wildflower barked in delight as a ponzie placed a large bowl of stew on the floor beside her.

“Feel free to get as much as you want. Our friends won't be joining us so we have extra,” Nocturna informed, looking directly at Daisycutter. The pegasus smiled back, the news that she could get seconds being the best thing that had happened all day.

“On that note,” Dixie said curiously. “Where is everypony?”

Nocturna rolled her eyes. “We don't know what exactly happened, but those three seemed to have knocked each other out. Faith is in her lab running a full body diagnostic and Luster took Maneia and Vapid to the hospital earlier.”

“Are they alright?” Dixie asked worried.

“Those numbskulls are fine. All they need is some rest and they'll be as good as new, but their also unapologetic drama queens.” Luster mimicked Vapid's voice. “Oh I can't feel my legs, oh my lung just collapsed, oh you need to take me to a hospital.” Luster shook his head. “It was pathetic really.”

“Why didn't Nocturna just heal them?” Daisycutter said through a mouthful of stew.

“Because I can't perform healing spells,” Nocturna replied.

Dixie arched an eyebrow. “I thought you were the one who saved Vapid when y'all found him.” In her curiosity, her country accent slipped out.

“No.” Nocturna slowly shook her head. “Nopony saved Vapid, in fact I used my magic to hurry his demise.”

Dixie took a sharp intake of breath. “Wait, you don't mean...”

“Yes, Vapid is a ponzie.”

Luster chuckled. “Pretty convincing isn't he?”

“Hmm,” Daisycutter said chewing. “If he's a ponzie, then why ain't he all uuuhhh and aaahh?”

“Because he still has a soul. Unlike the rest of the ponzies you see, I was there at the exact moment he died, allowing me to trap his essence within his body. Most ponzies are just flesh and bone, simple instincts and memories are the only things that are left within their rotting minds. My magic brings their bodies back to life, but it doesn't bring them back.” Nocturna explained the finer details of necromancy in a calm voice.

Wildflower pawed at Daisycutter's leg. Her bowl had been licked clean. Looking up, the green mare whined pitifully. Daisycutter smiled and patted the mare. Reaching over, she grabbed a hoofful of grapes. She placed the fruit down into Wildflower's bowl, chuckling as the mare pounced on the food.

Dixie rubbed her chin in thought. “If the ponzies are mindless, how is it they can understand us and follow directions?”

“After I've reanimated a ponzie, I then move to the second step. It's a complicated series of spells, but to sum it up, I use my magic to build within them a basic understanding of all the skills they'd need to serve me.” Nocturna paused, considering how to best explain it. “Consider it a reflex. I tell them to, let's say, clean this table. The words travel into their magic core, which then translates my commands into tangible actions. They don't think, they just do. Now Vapid on the other hoof, is a special case, I didn't implant him with a magic core, therefore he's completely autonomous. Vapid believes he's alive, his body believes it's alive, therefore it reacts accordingly. He breathes, eats, sleeps, but he doesn't need to do any of this. He can not die, he only believes he can.””

“Wait, if he's dead, won't the doctors notice?” Dixie asked.

Nocturna flashed a wicked smile. “Yes, I'm sure they will have an interesting story to tell us when they return. Speaking of interesting stories,” Nocturna stood up from the table and began walking towards the door. “Dixie, I'd like to speak with you in private, if you don't mind.”

The orange mare stared at Nocturna expressionlessly, before standing up and trotting after the black unicorn. “But of course.”

The two mares wordlessly trotted down the halls, going into a section of the mansion Dixie was unfamiliar with. Entering a musty room, Dixie looked around. It was a small room; there were bookcases, filled to the brim with dusty old books, along the walls. A single table sat in the middle of the room, a large bag and a cloth wrapped object set atop it. Nocturna stopped next to the table and gestured for Dixie to approach.

“Luster tells me you have a problematic stallion causing you some distress. To tell you the truth, we've known about your situation for some time. I am disappointed in your choice of not coming to me sooner. I would have gladly given you anything you needed, but I admit I do admire your fortitude.”

Dixie remained silent. She hated the idea of begging for somepony's help, she hated not being able to solve their problems on her own, by her own hoof, and she hated that she had gotten Daisycutter into this kind of situation. She had needed bits to get their shop off the ground, and like a refuge in the storm, Cut-rate appeared at their door, smiles and warm words. Just what she needed, right when she needed it. It had seemed too good to be true, now she realized it had been.

“You foolishly took on a debt that you cannot repay, you've put your future and that of your sister's in the hooves of a stallion who's moral fiber is suspect at best.” Nocturna gently grabbed Dixie's chin and stared into her eyes. “The question is what are you going to do about it? Within that sack, you'll find more than enough bits and gems to cover your debts. I give it to you not as a gift, but as a payment for all the schemes you will help us with in the future.”

Nocturna's horn glowed black as she levitated the coin filled bag onto Dixie's back.

“But there is another way. You keep the money and use it to help take care of both you and your sister, and instead give him this.” She floated the smaller cloth wrapped item in front of the orange unicorn. “When I was a young filly my father gave this to me. It was with this that he taught me my most valuable lesson, now I want to see if you can learn it...”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Luster watched Daisycutter in fascination, his brow furrowed in thought. “Where... where do you put it all?”

Daisycutter shrugged nonchalantly, her cheeks stuffed with food.

“You just eat and eat and eat; it's like a bottomless pit. You should be as big around as you are tall, but yet you just don't put on any weight,” Luster stared at the mare in abject awe.

“I've got a fast metabolism.”

“You've got a black hole in your stomach more like.”

Dixie walked back into the dining room, her head and heart clouded with indecision. “Daisy,” Dixie called, her voice quavering. “You're going to stay here tonight.”

Daisycutter turned to her sister, confused. “Why?”

“Yeah, if she stays she'll eat us out of house and home,” Luster added.

The orange unicorn swallowed. “You like playing with Wildflower, right?”

“...yeah,” Daisycutter replied slowly.

“So how about you keep her company while Maneia is in the hospital?” Daisycutter stared quizzically at her sister, waiting for a better explanation. “I have some things I need to think over, and I need you to stay here while I do it.”

Daisycutter frowned. “You do know I'm an adult, I don't need a foalsitter.”

“Daisy... please just do this for me.” The tone in her sister's voice worried the pegasus, but she relented.

“Fine... but I better see you bright and early tomorrow.”

“Of course, a lady is never late.” With a halfhearted smile the unicorn left, leaving behind a troubled Daisycutter.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The moon rose high in the sky, a watchful eye over the realm of night. The hour was late, leaving the streets lifeless and empty. Dixie warily stalked through the back-roads of Ponyville. Passing through the shadows, she tried to steel her nerve.

On the edge of town, a two story home stood. Its exterior looked as warm and cheery as most of Ponyville's buildings, but inside its heart was dark and rotten.

Dixie looked around. The road in front of the house was clear, not a single pony about this late at night. Pausing, the unicorn gazed at the moon, her mind a tumult of conflict. This wasn't right, this wasn't how ponies should act, it wasn't how she did things.

Approaching the house, she looked at the package Nocturna had given her. Wrapped within the cloth, a large jackknife, eerily similar to the one depicted on her flank. Dixie knew she couldn't take sompony's life, even Cut-rate's, it went against everything she held herself to be. Stopping, the unicorn lowered her head. “No, not this way. I'll come back in the morning and give him his bits... it's the right thing to do.”

Forming from the shadows, a dark figure swirled to life. Behind the oblivious Dixie, a blue glow lashed from the shadowy pony. Striking the orange unicorn, the magical ball burst into a sparkling haze, covering the mare.

Blinking, Dixie shook her head. “No... this... this is the only way.”

Swiftly circumventing the house, she wanted to get off the street as quickly as possible. Finding the back door, she carefully used her magic to loosen the door handle, allowing herself entry. Silently, she crept into the home, careful to mask her presence.

Not a den of debauchery nor a scene of atrophy befitting the residing stallion, but an average, everyday home. Checking each room, Dixie searched the house. Finding the bottom floor void of life, she ventured upstairs, carefully taking each step, praying the wood wouldn't creak. Snoring met her ears, guiding her to her target. Passing through an open door, Dixie stopped, her heart leaping into her throat.

There Cut-rate lay, sound asleep in his bed. She approached the stallion, her hooves silently gliding across the floor. Dixie wanted to turn away, to leave the wretched stallion and forget this dark business, but in her heart she knew it was already to late. Looking down on the stallion, Dixie tried to stop, but her magic was compelled as if by an unseen force.

Not trusting her magic to be strong enough to do the job, Dixie raised the knife with her hooves. Thoughts raced through her mind, urging her on. If she were just a sole mare, she would risk dealing with the stallion, with hoping he would leave her alone, but with Daisycutter, she couldn't bare to have her sister live oppressed by her mistakes. She had to know for certain that the stallion would never trouble them again.

Closing her eyes, tears rolled down Dixie's face. “I've always tried to be beautiful, in everything I do... but on the inside... on the inside... I'm ugly.”

The knife plunged through the air.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Wha!” With a food spraying shout Daisycutter pushed away from the table. Flipping her chair backwards, she landed on the floor next to the equally startled Wildflower.

With one hoof in a bowl of mashed potatoes, Nocturna stood atop the table, the magical vestiges of her teleport dissipating into the ether.

“Nocturna?” Luster asked concerned.

Quickly scanning the room, her gaze stopped on the brown pegasus. “Where is Dixie?”

“After talking with you she left,” Daisycutter said, picking herself up off the floor.

“Then it is as I feared.” Turning to Luster, Nocturna continued. “Hysteria has resurfaced.”

Visibly taken aback, the old stallion quickly stood. “That's impossible, we sealed her away!”

“What is going on?” Daisycutter asked anxiously.

Turning back to the pegasus, Nocturna flicked her tail. “The unicorn your sister talked with was not myself, but a doppelganger.”

“What?” Daisycutter asked in shock. “Do you mean a changeling?”

“No, something much worse. I was taken by surprised, but I could recognize her magic. Hysteria has taken your sister, I don't know what for.”

Shaking her head, Daisycutter looked up to the unicorn. “Who is Hysteria?”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“I can't.” The knife hovered a hair's breadth above the stallion I would never be able to look Daisy in the eye again.”

“Rise and shine!”

Jerking at the loud voice, the stallion flew awake. As the voice interrupted the quiet room, the surprise caused Dixie to tense her muscles, just as the stallion lurched forwarded. With a sharp intake of breath, Dixie jumped back, releasing the knife, now sticking out of Cut-rate's neck.

“It's a good thing I was here, or you might not have murdered him.” Stepping through the doorway, a familiar blue and purple mare flashed a smile as she approached the horror-struck Dixie. “After all, trauma is by far the greatest way to make a pony's mind nice and susceptible.”

“Maneia?” Dixie asked incredulously.

“Oooh, close but no cigar.” The blue mare tapped her head. “That train has left the station and a new one just pulled in.” Pouncing forward, she came muzzle to muzzle with Dixie. “All aboard the Hysteria express.” With a face-splitting smile, she pumped her foreleg twice. “Choo-choo!”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

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