Chapters Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
Everything was a big undefined blur. No delicate orderly physical objects here. Oh no, only mashes of messy colors everywhere .
“Owe… my precious head…” I groaned in response to the pounding pain crushing the sides of my head.
The first thing that assaulted my mind, in every single possible direction including the ones from beyond the fourth wall, was the feeling of touch.
The air… the hard stone under me, brushing against my fur… the contact from my wings against my left front leg… a slight pressure on the right side of my forehead… Not quite sure what was wrong with my mouth though… My tongue wasn’t quite in place it seems…
This…
My vision very briefly flashed black, as dictated by a muscle reflex.
“Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygoshYES! I just blinked! ”
Buck everything else, my eyes were not stuck on a single thing! They could move .
My vision cleared up, showing me the Canterlot Gardens, from atop of a small stone pedestal. They were still on Celestia’s castle.
…I glanced around.
It worked!
My reaction was instantaneous. I threw myself on my hind legs and threw my front ones toward the sky.
“I’M ALIVE!”
However, all to my ecstasy, I forgot to pay attention to my position and tumbled forward, off my pedestal and face first into the grass. The pain was so inconsequential that I actually giggled.
This was just so awesome ! Oh dear Celestia, I was probably making a good imitation of Rainbow Dash’s fangirl face.
Oh, the feeling of air passing through my throat and going down my lungs was wonderful . It made me shiver with pleasure.
I could not help the gigantic grin that occupied my face. I was no longer a statue.
…What was I actually?
The question kind of burst my bubble, my giddy behavior disappearing as suddenly as it came.
Confused, I rose up to my hooves (so… pony, I guess?), a bit gobbled smack. I had not hijacked any pony’s mind, so how was I even here?
Looking down answered one of my first question. My left front leg was not a pony’s leg. It was a griffon’s leg, complete with bird-like claws.
Okay, what? Seriously, what?
A weird premonition guiding my movement, I turned my head around, eying the wings I had felt earlier.
I blinked again. (Awesome! )
“Huh…” I tilted my head, staring at the dull grey pegasus wing and the wine red dragon wing on my back. “That’s new too…”
My coat seemed to reflect this… duality? I guess. Most of it was seemed split between red and gray, on tones very much like Discord’s own coat.
Ignoring the bile that rose in my throat at the simple mention of the utter bastard, I looked around for a pond or a fountain, anything reflective really. I clearly wasn’t a pegasus like I had first thought…
“Mirror, mirror…” I muttered, my voice coming off as strangely distorted.
After a small search, I located a fountain mounted by a statue of Celestia. Rapidly, I made my way over there, though not without some difficulties. I kept stumbling toward my left with every step!
Having one leg a bit shorter than the other three was just a pain…
‘That will take some time getting used to…’ I thought, frowning.
Grunting, I hauled up myself over the stony edges of the fountain, struggling to maintain some balance with an unbalanced body. In fact, I lost my footing, precariously hanging over the water, with my reflection staring back at me.
Snap.
The sight sent me laughing uproariously. Boy, Discord was one sneaky son of a female diamond dog.
“He made me a Gary Stu!” I yelled between two bouts of laughing.
That was just so utterly stupid! My body was that of a badly thought up pony. He had chosen pieces of stupid clichés and stuck them on me like a patchwork.
Air no longer entering my lungs, I found myself writhing on the edge, still laughing the creepiest laugher you could ever think of.
My movements eventually went over the edge, literally, as I rolled over and fell over into the fountain.
The cold water assaulted my senses and made me gasp, with an emotion other than giggly stupidity going through my skin. It triggered the last remnants of a survival instinct I thought long dead, pushing me to force myself to pierce through the surface.
Reflexes alone made me breath as soon as my head was out of the water.
With what little rationality I had left, I tried to swim, discovering that the mechanisms were rather different from what I was used to. Luckily, a griffon’s claws make for a very strong grip. With that alone (and admittedly, plenty of efforts), I was able to get out and roll over into the grass.
I decided to lie on my back, because.
“Riiiiiiight!” I snorted, thinking back on the weird image I had seen.
‘Describe it already!’ Madame Bucket yelled with indignation.
I blinked, staring into space. “I thought you were dead?”
‘We already went through this, dear. ’ My friend rolled her eyes, however she managed to do that, I’d never know…
“Alright. Look, it’s simple.” I rolled off my back to stand up, deciding to trot toward the path. “My coat is bicolor, red and grey, though the way the spots are, I look a bit like a cow. First check, but a bit shaky. I’ve got wings, but one of these is a dragon’s. Solid double check . My left front leg is that of a griffon. Triple check, approaching Sue territory at light speed. I’ve got a tail that is clearly not that of a pony, more like a… lion, maybe? Crashing into Suetopia imminent, prepare the airbags. Finally, I’ve got fangs, a snake’s tongue, yellow reptilian eyes and a demonic horn on my right temple. My ship exploded and I’m stuck in the dark and edgy side of suedom. ”
‘Oh my…’
“You said it, Madame Bucket.” I nodded.
Hooves light, I trotted my way into the maze. At any given intersection, I would turn in a random direction, not truly paying attention to it.
“So, you see, right now, I’m not very worried. Characters like what I’m supposed to be get everything they want easily and with virtually no struggle.” I chuckled, eying the beautiful blue sky.
It was so pretty… so… predictable. The urge to turn it red filled every pores of my skin. There had to be a less boring color than that. Blood red would do.
…the hay?!
‘Where did that come from, darling?’ That posh lady Madame Bucket demanded an explanation, with outrage might I add.
“I…” My weird sueish body came to a halt as I lowered my gaze to the ground. “I have no idea.”
‘I say! This is most troubling, dear.’
I looked up, toward the direction I imagined her voice was coming from. It was easy for me to see the shape of a bucket floating around, giving off a disapproving glare.
Sheepishly, I turned around to avoid her suspicious glare. If I were to be perfectly honest with myself though, I’d admit that she was justified. The urge had not disappeared . It was still within me, pulsing, though my friend’s outburst had relocated it deep beneath my skin.
This was all very disturbing.
What was up with that? Was that my more demonic nature, obviously coming as a package deal with a third of my physical appearance, expressing itself through darker ideas? Struggles? No way, Gary Stu, remember?
Right?
…Right?
Right.
Right...
In spite of my rising anxiety, I let out a soft giggle.
The sound was bizarre, distorted in more ways than one.
That made me laugh some more.
As a vicious cycle, the sound of my own laugher crept the crap out of me. It was reverberating, an echo that kept on going, with a different voice each time. Heck, the last one always seemed to be like that of a… of a… little filly.
My body froze abruptly, left claw sinking into the dirt as it contracted brutally. My jaw was clenched together, hard. It was simply lucky my tongue wasn’t out at the moment. It would have been cut off.
“He…” I started, only to stop at the confirmation carried by that single word. “T-this is really…”
My vision blurred, replacing my red hoof and paw by much chubbier and shorter orange hooves. I knew this voice…
“Orange Zest,” I muttered sadly, hanging my head low.
This world would not let me forget, would it? No rest for the wicked, no peace for the guilty!
Hay, now that I listened carefully, I could make out other voices, like that grandpa, who sounded like sandpaper and his throat were good buddies back in the good old days. It wasn’t hard to deduce from that who were the owners of the remaining voices.
Wow, even talking would make me feel like crap now.
Maybe I wasn’t a Sue after all.
I held out my front legs on each side of me, tilting them slightly as I argued with myself on that issue. Sure, the unusual race of pony was very supportive of the theory, but the fact remained that I needed more proof. So far, there was at least one counterargument in the form of my voice being the most mind screwing feature I could think of any day. Hay, foals would run in fear the second they heard it.
Mentally, I had reached a simple conclusion. Discord had to be somehow behind it, probably his true parting gift. If so, then the question was very simple: hell or ironic hell?
Because let’s be honest, I’ve given up on the goodies in life at this point. He was free, time to be his pawn in the great bingo of the draconequus. I would either be a balanced character with his owns flaws or a parody of everything any reader loath.
‘I will love you whichever version you turn up to be, dear.’ Madame Bucket assured me.
“T-thanks!” I replied, taken aback by this unexpected kindness. Good friends know when to say the right things!
‘Besides, even if you found out you were just an unusual pony or a mutant race, this does not change the fact that you will not get a shot at a happy life in this world with You-Know-Who running about!’
“Voldemort is here?!” I screamed in horror, terrifying images flying through my mind.
Until the one where Twilight and him dueled to the death. That sounded awesome. The Unicorn-Who-Lived versus her archnemes-
A burst of pain knocked the stupid out of me, temporarily. Looking up, I saw nothing but a brief flash of light and maybe the shape of a bucket. How? No idea, it happened.
Or I hallucinated. Would you place bets against this?
‘BE SERIOUS!’ The posh bucket shrieked, trembling with indignation, even as she materialized at my fe- hooves… ‘Your worst enemy is loose, the prison has been proven insecure, the stone has cracked from top to bottom, the chaos is spreading, THE END IS NEAR!’
“And the bucket is hysterical?” I replied, tilting my head to the side in confusion. “Would you please calm down and stop using euphemism or roundabout description. Nobody likes to hear that.”
‘WHAT COLOR IS THE SKY?!’
My eyes became as wide as saucers. Blown by the revelation, I looked up, as if to confirm that it wasn’t just my overacting imagination. It… wasn’t…
Blue… clear sky blue… so peaceful… so bo -
“ARGH!” I shook my head angrily, trying to rid myself of those thoughts. There were far more urgent businesses to take care of now.
Like why was the sky blue when Discord had been freed since… err… I knew not the time I had actually spent in the stone statue, but it had been a LONG time.
“What do you suggest?” I asked the metallic object, because she clearly knew better than me.
‘Go talk to the princesses now. Or the girls, you know the ones.’ Her accent slipped slightly at the end, with what I perceived was worry. That bucket had a heart of gold. ‘If the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony is loose but the world hasn’t gone mad, then perhaps you still have the time to make a difference.’
Ooooh, that’s sueish enough for my design. The balance tilted again!
But, regardless of that, I felt a flicker of confidence return to me. Some of the persistence I had before was renewed, even as I tried to make my decision. Glancing over the hedges showed me nothing but the sky… and the castle.
There had been something about a scientist and going to speak to a prince, right? If that was the case, then maybe it would be best to try my hooves elsewhere.
‘But the castle is by far the nearest building in the vicinity,’ Madame Bucket pointed out sensibly. ‘Not to mention the fact that this is the royal gardens. Chances are you will end up in the castle before you get the chance to get into the other parts of Canterlot.’
My dilemma was solved even before she had finished. No, a mad but brilliant idea had birthed into my brain, with little concerns to issues such as self-preservation.
It would even confirm or debunk my earlier theory.
With a large (too large) grin on my face, I wordlessly turned to the hedges of the labyrinth, walking up to the serenely.
‘Dear?’ My friend questioned, clearly unsure of what to make of this new development.
If I had any pair of sunglasses, I would have put them on dramatically, before trying to crack my knuckles intimidatingly. Unfortunately, this sort of thing tends to fail without knuckles and sunglasses.
Swag failure notwithstanding, I nonetheless pushed my hoof into the hedge.
‘What… are you doing?’
“Putting this world to the test,” I answered, still grinning.
I stood on my hind legs, shifting my weight clumsily. There was something inherently wrong about this new form. It was as if it was a pair of heavy shackles were chained to my wings, affecting my balance.
Slowly, I rose my griffon paw over my head, before pushing them into the hedge as well. My grip closed on some branches and leaves, firmer than I had expected. Good, it was a step in the right direction.
Carefully, shifting my weight on my front legs, I held myself in the air for a brief moment, then I pushed both of my hind legs into the hedge. I was now, more or less, standing vertically, head toward the sky.
‘What in the name of Stan the janitor are you doing?!’ Madame Bucket asked loudly, clearly on the verge of hysteria.
“I told you,” I grinned, looking at her upside down. “I’m testing if I am a Gary Stu or not. Since I never tried climbing a hedge before, succeeding on my first try will definitely tell me what I need.”
‘And if you aren’t?’ She inquired.
“Then I fall.” I shrugged, which nearly made me topple. Fortunately, at least one of my legs was very firmly attached.
One hoof (and alternatively a paw, you get the idea) at a time, I planted them higher and higher into the hedge, defying gravity through leg and abdominal muscles alone. With each step, I got closer to the top and Madame Bucket, to panic.
‘You’ll kill yourself, you idiot!’ She screamed, obviously worried sick.
“Can’t hear you,” I screamed, “the wind is too loud!”
‘There is no wind in this place!’
Whoa Nelly, she sounded pissed enough to buck me behind the head… you know, if she actually had legs and was not just, probably, a figment of my imagination given life to combat CRUSHING LONELINESS!
I chuckled, biting into some branch to secure my hold. My fangs sank into the wood with ease, which was a little freaky to be honest. However, the thought became fleeting soon enough, as I made another grab for the hedge, pushing myself up again.
Her hysterical scream did not hamper my determination, or my climbing skills. With a forced grin, I made the final push to the top.
Gary Stu test number one had been successfully cleared. Without any training, for no good reason, I had been able to climb a ten meters high hedge on my first attempt because I wanted to.
An absurd desire to giggle bubbled up inside my chest. This was ridiculous.
Heck, the wind that was blowing at this height did little to discourage or destabilize me. Nope, I was very firmly rooted in place thanks to my claws.
“No doubt about this…” I said, rising my head toward the sun, listening to the distorted echoes of ponies I had tormented in my own voice. “I’m my own most loathed character. There’s just something ironic about this.”
Like my own secure knowledge that this place was stable after a one second long evaluation.
Under my right hoof, the plant that had been supporting my weight gave out with a sickening crack. Instantly, my balance thrown into disarray, the whole right side of my body sank into the hedge. My face took the blunt of the hit however, cheeks and ears whipped and scratched by dozens of little branches.
Spitting out leaves and hissing, I threw myself out of this greenish hell, more than annoyed at the twinkle of blood dripping down my bruised face. Of course, being unfamiliar with this body’s strength, I completely over evaluated the amount of effort needed and ended up in the air, at a height promising some unpleasant injuries.
‘SEE?! THIS IS WHAT I WAS AFRAID OF!’ My dear friend shrieked.
“NOT HELPING RIGHT NOW!” I screamed, frantically waving my legs around uselessly.
Oooooh, that ground looked painful! I did not want the pain! And it was getting closer fast!
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Hey, Rainbow Dash crashed on the ground at high speed and only got a broken wing or something like that. I totally wouldn’t die. No, I’d just be left lying on the ground with the pain of broken limbs and a seething imaginary bucket for company as I waited for somepony to rescue me, in a maze!
Ohmygoshno!
Now well into the realm of panic myself, my mind made dozens of ideas flash before my eyes, most of them impractical or ineffective (casting Reverse Gravity, really?). It was to the point instinct turned into a better advisor.
Without thinking, I stretched my wings to their full length, gaining a measure of control, that is to say a flimsy, feeble, lousy level of control.
Gliding headfirst toward the ground, I let out a yelp, wondering how the heck to control my flight without any controller. Flight simulators always seemed like dull games to me, making me feel like an idiot now that I needed something to rely on here.
My body’s first response to the prospect of falling headfirst into the ground was to bend backward, in a painful position for my poor abused spine. Nonetheless, I got the satisfaction of seeing the ground slowly sliding under my field of vision, now filled with green hedges and a glimpse of the sky.
The momentum of falling was enough to propel me over the maze, by a few feet at least.
“Gotta keep flying.” I told myself, looking at the garden below me with apprehension. “I’m never doing this again.”
Heart beating fast, I started agitating my wings in a rhythm, fighting the unbalance of those incompatible wings of mine. The way they folded was… different. This gave me the creeps with each movement.
“Eh, I wonder if I will have to dodge some pegasi guards…” I asked out loud, grinning.
The possible results of such encounters gave me a foreboding feeling of doom. Oh, I’d get the short end of the stick, sure, but I could not help this hilarity.
I was definitely crazy.
“TO PONYVILLE!” I screamed, just to tempt fate to screw me over.
It wouldn’t be the first time…
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
Sometime ago, when I was just a little foa- kid, I had had the dream of soaring through the sky. I imagined it to be a fantastic experience, to flirt with the endless space and to dance with the clouds. Then I flew off to Cuba once and my desire grew.
I had been given a close-up of that dream, what’s with my cute little face glued to the window the whole time. I could honestly say I had appreciated the flight more than the rest of our travel.
This may have played a part in what I had chosen as a future career. Of course, there had been lows even back then. For example, my teacher, that old featherless griffon, in fifth grade had told me I was a silly daydreamer.
Oh, the nerves! I had sunk into an angst coma for weeks after that stunt!
‘…Hum… no, sorry guys, that’s just whiny even for a crazed not-pony like me.’
“Where was I?” I muttered, scratching my chin with my right hoof. “Oh yeah, the fun of flying.”
Well, an old crappy spirit had beaten the love out of me through a near death experience. As such, even when I could see all threats in a clear five miles perimeter, I was a wreck and my flight was a wreck as well.
I kept expecting to be tackled and thrown into a downward spiral toward death and a fate as a meal. Hopefully, my mutant flesh would prove very unappetizing to any and all predators.
That being said, the feeling of the wind on my fur was downright awesome. It tickled.
I had not much else to be giddy about. So far… well, I was a free monstrous pony thing, but so was Discord, which promised the end of all things sane. True, I was not sane anymore, but that didn’t mean I wanted the world to be the same. Plus, I could vaguely remember concern and guilt born out of a sense of responsibilities.
However, what kept baffling and bugging the hell out of me was the lack of his influence anywhere my eyes could see. Considering I had apparently the eyesight of a falcon and that I was a few hundreds of meter up in the sky…
Yeah…
I sighed, not even bothering to come up with an explanation. I’d be completely mistaken anyway, not to mention I’d have given myself a headache for nothing. Really, it would clearly be the most reasonable solution to ignore the problem until it blew up in my face.
“…I don’t like how I phrased that…”
‘You know it’s true, dear.’
“I guess…” I replied to that precious dead imaginary friend of mine. Frowning, I had to dodge a vicious breeze before giving her more of my attention. “How are you flying?”
‘In all honesty, I think you ought to stop asking those questions.’ Madame Bucket shrugged, continuing to float by my side.
“My brain just keeps trying to make sense of this situation. I know it’s silly, especially when my own echoing voice of the legion keeps reminding me everything I did and had done to me...” I shrugged, pushing the horrors to the back of my mind… somehow.
Eyes very intently focused on a point on the horizon, I stubbornly refused to think of anything other than my goal of Ponyville. If there was one place in Equestria I could have fun and maybe make sense of anything, it would be there.
The fact that the Mane Six lived there and were the only defense against Discord did not factor, promise. It was not like I was scared shitless by the mere mention of his name and that a prolonged exposure to memories of our shared experience made me want to pray to the sun god Ra. Nope, none of that.
But the idea that he was free had me fighting my bladder for dominance!
“How long till arrival in Ponyville?!”
One hour fifteen minutes and thirty two seconds, that’s how long it took to fly there, bouts of panicked high speed flying and slowpoke imitations when the wind was against me included.
My time in that statue had gotten me an admirable capacity to count time pass by. A clock would be jealous, which was a fact that made me more than a little proud. Who could boast getting a reaction out of an inanimate object through sheer boredom?
Me, that’s who!
‘That would explain a lot of things…’
“Shut up, Madame Bucket!”
I swear, that container was getting more and more sassy by the minute!
Back to more important matters than a bucket of metal making jabs at my mental health, I was within sight of the fated town, where my destiny or lack of aforementioned destiny awaited.
Ecstasy rose within my chest, filled my veins and danced on the sound of pop music at the sight. Waves of relief went crashing down against my tormented mind. I could tell myself it would be alright.
More importantly, I could believe it.
“Okay, okay! Focus, me.” I whispered quickly, shaking with excitement. “First, gotta tell the gals about Discord, possibly without being assaulted on sight. That probably cut Rainbow Dash and Applejack. I have to get things done, so let’s forget about Pinkie and Fluttershy, even if it is so tempting to just tackle them into a hug and forever squeal my eternal joy. Rarity might go on about my appearance a bit too much, especially if it gives her an I-deaaaaa, so that leaves… Twilight.”
OHSWEETMERCYOFTHEGREATDUCK!
“I am such a cliché Gary Stu,” I stated the inevitable truth.
Eh, I could live with that… Overpowered, special and possibly hook up with a main character? I’d hate to read it, but I wouldn’t mind it happening to me…
Except for that hooking up part, pony relationship would be kept strictly professional.
“Oh please tell me that’s not the kind of sue Discord made me…”
Haha, yeah, who am I kidding? We all know that’s most likely exactly what Dis-
“…What’s that?” I muttered, my eyes getting caught by a most unusual sight.
Right next to Ponyville, there was this giant… smoking crater…
My eyes widening, I dove toward the disaster site. This had to be Discord’s fault! Was it a comet? O-or an alien invasion?! Oh Hell no! If there were xenomorphs here, I’d find a cockatrice and go back to being a statue!
‘What am I saying?’ I briefly thought. ‘NEVER AGAIN!’
I’d use the cockatrice to turn the xenomorphs into statues! There, sensible, smart solution. I had been a while since I had thought of one of those.
The ground approaching quickly, I took it on myself to work on a good landing, ignoring the part of me that marveled at yet another sensible idea.
To achieve this goal, I recovered a little height, if only to lose the terminal velocity I had first achieved by my instinctive reactions. Then, I tilted my body left, letting the wind and the laws of physic cause me to circle in the sky.
This slow gliding made me feel ridiculous, completely inept at flight. Images of Rainbow Dash’s abrupt landing with little repercussions were remembered as I remained stiff with stress. My whole body remained so still I started to lose sensation in my extremities.
Heartbeat quick and outrageously loud (to me, at least), I stared at the crater that became bigger and bigger with every meter of height I lost, with every slow circle around it. Its smoldering existence was frightening, a gigantic wound in the land and an insult to the land of Equestria. Fumes were rising, destabilizing me every so often and rendering me a swearing mess until I returned to my landing approach.
The sight was a mark of desolation…
This place looked… dead.
It tugged at my heartstring to look at it.
So why in the name of great beaver was I unable to look away?
An invisible force pulled at me, reaching at my limbs and my wings. It made my heartbeat spike, reaching a dangerous level, to realize I was partial to the suggestions it whispered in my ears. Sweet nothings and urges to accelerate, tempting words about lack of pain, lack of fear …
There was only a single thing in this world or the next that would tempt me more than that…
Without thinking, I tilted forward, diving headfirst at the crater. Even my overwhelmed cries of panic could not pierce that veil of temptation. There was an absolute power at play here.
The ground grew closer… and closer…
Only at the last moment did my survival instincts dominate my fogged mind and I put all my strength into cushioning my fall with my wings, hoping for a last second deceleration.
Pain.
Unreal suffering ripped from my shoulder blades, at the base of my mismatched wings, having me cry out, only to be cut short by the landing.
AGONY!
I screamed, barreling into darkened earth and ashes, dark clouds lifted by my fall. It eclipsed my vision completely, already blurred by the pain that had exploded within me. Warmth seeped through my body, but I was unable to pinpoint its source. I couldn’t tell if it was from the fuming ground or the blood from my wounds.
“Urgh…” I groaned, voice weak and raspy. “Should have known this was going to blow up in my face. S’what I get for thinking myself… good…” I coughed.
The one benefit to this new load of bad luck was that I had identified the source of the temptation.
Discord had been here. I could taste the aftereffect of his presence, like a foul rotten savor. Nopony would convince me I was imagining this oppressive feeling upon my chest. I had past experiences to compare it too.
Yet he wasn’t here ! Not anymore.
Not hard to guess why there was a perfectly spherical crater here then.
“I guess they noticed then…” I whispered, testing which of my leg could support some weight.
Trying to stand up only had the pain reach a new peak and I collapsed, gasping. This was not good…
How bad were my injuries? Life-threatening? Yeah, they sounded life-threatening… Listen to that sick crunching noise it makes when I move my wings.
Crunch.
“ FUCK! That hurt!” I groaned. “I’m such a dumbass…” I laughed, humorlessly.
No contest on who was the dumbest guy on both side of those portals D made…
Letting the pain subdue, I laid on my belly, leeching a bit of heat from the ground, lest I start to feel a familiar and deadly cold. It wouldn’t help, of course, but at least it made the experience less unpleasant.
‘Can’t I get back into a more maniacal state for my last moments?’ I thought, wishing for the insanity to catch up with me. No such luck though, I seemed to be fairly lucid, even if rational was pushing it.
‘So my options are… wait in this place to die or go through hellish pain just to maybe get some medical attention?’ I closed my eyes, letting my sense dull.
The world was gone; there was nothing but the sound of my heartbeat, a lone and rhythmic reassurance as of my status among the living. It seemed to me I could already feel it slipping away.
Then, in this pretense of void, something else festered. It was not the silly response my mind had taken as a habit to protect itself. It was just a fire, burning and raging, and the very reason I was still very much alive.
“Yeah, not dying today…” I grunted, folding my legs once more. With my jaw set in stone to prevent me from biting my tongue off, I pushed on all four of my legs simultaneously, ignoring the pain to stand up.
Between two short and rapid breath, I growled: “I don’t wanna…”
Slowly, with each step being a great example of torture, I started to climb out of this fuming hellhole. My head still fogged by the shock, I could not focus very well on anything but the orders I sent to my legs. I would not give up.
The earth was friable, I noticed offhandedly. The fact seemed important, but I could not process it. I just put another hoof in front of the other, doing my best to keep my left wing from limping off the ground. The steep hill to climb was not doing me any favor.
A few minutes passed and I was panting strongly, my eyes were closing on their own, not to mention I felt cold. Cold! Over this still scorching earth!
I’d never know, later, if my willpower failed me or if the ground itself gave up, but on my next step, I slipped. Instantly, my body slid off, carried by ashes and gravity, creating new injuries and aggravating the old ones.
Hitting rock bottom had rarely felt so literal. And painful.
I let out another scream, less powerful than the preceding ones. It was getting hard to do this too.
However, a soft groan escaped not my mouth, but that of another.
Startled, I jumped away, or tried to. My pathetic attempt only ended with me falling against the ground, narrowly avoiding biting off the tip of my tongue.
From my position on the ground, I felt especially vulnerable to this new foe, so much that I curled up defensively, my tail futilely placed between us.
“W-who’s there?” I asked, cringing at the sound of ten ponies’ voice superposing themselves. This demonic voice of mine could really destroy any chance I had to not appear threatening.
Then again, to appear threatening, there probably needed at least some form of contact between me and somepony else… I could not see any other living being here.
“H-hello?” I tried again, sounding quite unsure. Maybe I had dreamed it; it wouldn’t be a first, nor would it be surprising.
Against all evidences though, once more the voice, familiar , rang to my ears, telling me of pain and fatigue. Moreover, it revealed to me the location of its owner, to my right.
There, hardly recognizable, was a shape buried beneath the ashes.
Limping, I made my way to it, curiosity and, perhaps, compassion pushing me to discover the source of that low cry for help.
“A-are you alright?” I whispered, my throat feeling sore.
The form, bigger than I by at least a full head, stirred at this noise. It deployed white wings, shaking off the ashes, and tried to stand, not unlike I had done before. It accomplished no purpose other than fully revealing itself to me.
My throat squeezed with the shock.
“P-Princess Celestia!” I jumped forward, forcing my battered body to serve as a support for the alicorn as I tried to lift her off the ground.
I failed and fell to my knees, panting and gasping with every new wave of pain.
“I-I’m sorry, Princess…” I muttered, out of breath and out of strength.
Her eyes finally focused on me, bearing an ancient pain and what seemed to be regret to me.
“No, do not… apologize to me, my little pony,” she said, closing her eyes, her head falling a bit. “The fault is mine. I could not… I could not protect you and the rest of Equestria from Discord…”
No… No, not this…
She should not apologize! NOT TO ME! I was my fault Discord was free, my fault alone ! Here she lied, broken, and she was asking for my forgiveness!
I reached a new level of self-loathing.
“D-d-d-doon’t…” I struggled to speak, my speech impaired by my indignation and my disgust. “You h-aaaave NO-thing t-to…”
“Be quiet…” She ordered, firmly, but not devoid of softness.
At that, I could not help but follow her demand.
“I can sense a great deal of struggle within you, my little pony.” She gave a soft sigh, her mane slowing down. No… “It is a shame we have not met sooner…”
“What are you saying…?” I didn’t understand.
“This is all I can do for you,” she whispered, as her fur started giving off a faint glow.
Before I could ask, a bright light blinded me, making me hiss and try to hide my eyes behind my right hoof.
Small itches ran through my whole body, as if an exaggerated tickling sensation. The sensation was… unpleasant, uncomfortable and frankly, felt probing to the point of an invasion of privacy.
However, I understood how right that conception was when my broken wings snapped into places, brutally.
The scream I was about to let out was cut short by the mending of my bones in my legs.
I started trashing, fighting off the light, even if I knew it would be beneficial to me in the long run. Futile as it may be, my brain wanted it to happen. This may be healing but, darn it was painful!
Unrelenting, Celestia forced the spell to continue till its natural end.
When finally the light faded, I was as good as new. Or, you know, as good as this weird sueish body would be in its original state.
My sight remained darkened by this previous aggression, blinking only accomplished the tiniest of improvement. My other senses remained, fortunately, unaffected. As such, I stepped forward, closer to the princess, when I heard her let out a short breath, followed by a noise of falling.
“Princess?” I asked, trying to smell her in this burnt mess.
“I… was too… weak… to lift his spell…” She whispered in between a few ragged breathes. Through it, I could feel her frustration and a boundless love for her subjects. “You will survive, my little pony.”
Those words, full of a maternal love, had me fear for the worst.
“Hide…” Celestia added, her voice growing weaker. “I was hoping to defeat Discord, but… hopefully, my faithful student and her friends will once again imprison him. Stay out of harm’s way, my little pony.”
Only then did my vision clear up.
I was stunned silent by the image presented to me.
Princess Celestia was resting on her side, eyes closed, her pure white coat darkened by the ashes and the dirt, but worst of all was her mane. The vibrant rainbow of color had dulled, taking a sickening shade of gray, with most of the colors replaced by an insipid pink.
“I-I… Celestia…” I placed a trembling paw on her, as if to convince me this was real, that this really happened!
S-she was not dead… THANKEVERYSAINTINTHESKY!
Baffled, shaking like a leaf in a storm, I stepped away from the Princess of the Sun. I-I could not…
I planted my hooves firmly in the ground, fighting off a feeling of vertigo.
‘She… she thought I was one of her ponies, transformed by Discord…’ I shook my head. Why do innocents pay when I screw up?! Why did events keep adding to my guilt?!
“Because I deserve it,” I said, running my hoof through my mane. “Dear me, do I listen to myself, freaky voice notwithstanding? Here I pity my fate when Celestia just used up the last of her magic to heal me…”
The world stopped spinning, darkening instead.
Inside me, hilarity started to bubble up, unstable emotions already threatening my grip on reality. Slowly, a grin stretched my lips, wide, too wide. To anypony watching, I had no doubt it must have been frightening, if only in combination with the crazed look I knew my eyes held.
“DISCORD!”
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
Luke, I am your fa-PSYCH!
I took off, carried away by my hatred. Do not ask how it worked, I simply managed to fly off moments after Celestia had healed me.
I flew faster than I did before, which was a foolish mistake. Landing would be terrible again, but my heart was burning too strongly for me to slow down. I had to make him pay. If the only way I could do that would be to insult him, then it would be my course of action.
Ponyville was very close to the crater where Celestia rested, so the flight took about three minutes four seconds.
Still, that did not answer my question. Where was Discord? I knew he was here, I could feel it in my guts! The monster had to be in here because he’d never allow the Mane Six alone before securing his power over Equestria.
For experiencing his fate, I could understand why too.
Oh, don’t be mistaken. I had no sympathy for him. In fact, it only made my hatred grow. I wished for him that fate, countless times, with perhaps the slightest intervals of freedom just so he could keep tasting defeat, over and over. Only when he’d be but a broken, sad, begging mess would I ever consider offering him anything less than pure hatred .
“-so serious, Twilight Sparkle!” A peculiar voice reached my ears.
HIM!
I dropped down to the ground, crashing into a roof. Paralyzed by my rage, I had not been able to take it standing. These new eruptions of pain could not stop me though.
Seething, I untangled myself from the tiles I had crashed into, keeping my rage intact with the sound of the draconequus’ voice.
“Why, yes, of course I faced Celestia in battle. What did you expect from me? Flowers?” His tone was nonchalant (DIE! ) and I could imagine him shrugging off accusations like this.
After some trouble, I jumped down to the ground, in a small alley between two houses. From this place, I could make out their every word.
“Prepare yourself for a long time on your pedestal, Discord, because we’re sending you back there, pronto!” The voice was rash and held some touches of arrogance.
Rainbow Dash.
“Oh don’t make me laugh, my little traitor.” Ouch… “Even with your precious elements, this will not be easy.” The scrambling noise that followed was assuredly one of her friends trying to hold her back.
“So you’re tellin’ us you don’t feel the slightest bit tired after facing not only Princess Celestia , but also Princess Luna, Princess Cadence and Twi’s brother?” Thick southern accent, no bonus for finding out who that was. “You think we’ll buy that, Discord? Sounds like Ah'm not the only bad liar here.”
At that, the draconequus chuckled, making me grind my teeth in anger. My legs pushed me forward, toward a corner where their voice seemed stronger. True to my expectations, a couple of meters away were both the Mane Six and Discord. Whereas the bastard was sitting calmly at a café’s table, fiddling with a napkin, his opponents were standing strong, their respective elements worn around their neck.
“I would never dream of such a thing, Dishonest Applejack.” The orange pony leaped forward, only to be held back by Pinkie. The baker had used her great reflexes to bite her friend’s tail just in time.
Discord seemed imperturbable. “I simply have an ace up my sleeve.”
With that, he snapped his claws together and I felt his magic surrounding me!
Batting my limbs uselessly, I saw the tiles on the ground shrink and a somewhat familiar sense of weightlessness returned. Struggling harder, I flapped my wings, hoping to fight off his grip on me, without success.
My stomach seemed left behind, as a sudden and violent pull reached my guts. The next instant, my surrounding turned into a messy blur, my breath cut short by the movement.
For a brief moment, I saw the sky, the ground, the sky, the ground, the sky, still so blue – taint it re- for FREAK’S SAKE! –, but my observation was stopped when I crashed into the path again and my eyes were closed forcefully from the shock.
Disoriented, I slowly opened my eyes, greeted by the sight of six beautiful mares eying me. Normally, I’d be happy, unrealistically so, because those were the six ponies any and all bronies would love to meet someday.
I had heard of the expression “crash into hello”, but that wasn’t what had come to mind back then.
Dizziness abound, I could not stand quite yet.
Not that everypony had the intention of waiting for me to.
“Ah! We’re supposed to be afraid of THAT ?” Rainbow Dash pointed her hooves at me with derision, clearly not impressed.
See? This was the kind of things that do not happen the way I imagined them to beforehand. My fantasies of meeting with Rainbow Dash involved sonic rainbooms and loud cheering, the latter being brought by yours truly. Being looked down? Not so much.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk, Rainbow Dash.” Discord waved his claw at her, mocking her. “I know he might not look the part, but I have complete confidence in him.”
Brain fart.
“What?” I muttered, my voice making Fluttershy flinch in the background.
“Come on, junior. I know you’re ready for this.” The draconequus waved his arms, sounding quite confident that I was somehow his ally.
Oh dear, I was about to start laughing. The gals will all think I’m crazy!
“Whoever that is, Discord, it won’t be enough to stop us! We have the Elements of Harmony on our side!” Twilight stepped forward, determination shining in her eyes.
“’Whoever that is’?” He quoted, eyes widening with the realization. “AH! Silly me, I forgot the introductions! How rude! Allow me to present you Honest Havoc!”
“Hi!” Pinkie greeted me very cheerfully, hopping to the spot I was lying on. “I’m Pinkie Pie and this i-”
“PINKIIIIE!” Her friends growled a warning, which the pink pony took sheepishly. With one big jump, she was back at her friend’s side.
“Alright, now that the presentations are done, can we get back to what’s important here?” Applejack asked, earning nods of approbation from the rest of us.
“Yeah, I’d like to know why I’m suddenly called Honest Havoc.” I glared at Discord, not appreciating the amused look on his face.
“Oh, you silly boy, don’t you know that a pony’s parents are the ones that choose their foal’s name?”
My blood turned to ice.
Oh dear… this would not end well.
“WHAAAAAAAAAT?!” The girls all screeched, with the exception of Fluttershy, who just let out a meek little noise, and Pinkie, who seemed to take it all in strides.
“That’s right. This slightly dim-witted boy is my son.” Discord nodded. “He gets that from his mother.” He added that in a whisper.
Okay, my brain just caught up with what’s he saying.
No.
Plain, good ol’ NO!
I might not remember my mother’s name or my father’s face, but… Oh God I forgot what Dad’s face is like!
Stunned, I froze completely, still as a statue. The others were eying me curiously or warily, but that barely registered in my mind. I was drawing a blank. His figure was there, his voice could ring to my ears, but I could not remember his face!
Snap.
“Listen to me…” I snickered. “I can’t even deny it! ” This sent me hollering with laugher.
This was just so damn funny. Here I wanted to tell them he wasn’t my father when I couldn’t picture who my father is!
“Err… yes, of course.” Discord seemed puzzled, perhaps expecting me to fight him more than that on the issue. To further reinforce this idea, he took out what seemed to be a script and read it with a frown on his face.
Hitting the ground with my hooves repeatedly, I just continued laughing. I could not stop. Why was this funny? Why did I find this so darn absurd?
“What’s wrong, Daddy?!” I shrieked, rolling on the floor, still laughing. My head was already starting to feel light from a lack of oxygen and I could not stop anytime soon. My ribs hurt.
“What… is going on here?” Rarity asked, turning to her friends with a very puzzled look.
“Seems to me like Discord’s raised another nutjob!” Her brash pal replied, prepared to jump in on the fray.
“HEY!” Both fake father and I shouted simultaneously.
We stopped, and exchanged a pained grimace. I was the first to elaborate though.
“What? With a daddy dearest like him , you expected me to be sane as a brick?”
“Sounds accurate to me,” Applejack deadpanned.
I giggled.
“Okaaaaay…” Twilight frowned. “This has definitely gone way over the line of creepy , especially the voice. I think I can hear a dying pony in there.”
Heart light, I jumped to my hooves, shaking my head with the same laugher that wouldn’t leave me.
“There is!” I yelled, grinning like a savage beast. “Isn’t that right, Daddy?!”
Discord was still staring. I pouted.
“Come oooooon,” I protested, whining like a little foal and sounding like one. A filly to be exact. “Carry me in your arms.”
Eagerly, I pushed on my legs, jumping and fending the airs to land in the draconequus’ open arms. Ignoring the monstrous nausea that attacked me by being into his general proximity, I snuggled up to his fluffy neck.
“Tell them the story, Daddy dearest.” I asked, eyes closed and breathing peacefully.
“Which one would that be?” Discord sounded a bit overwhelmed by this turn of event.
Sounds like someone’s plan worked a little too well to me. My lips twitched upward at the thought. Oh, this was good.
“You know, how I came to be.” I explained, feeling something other than contempt grow within me. “Like how you had me on the chopping block! Or… or the one time I almost got sucked in a black hole because of you!”
My cheery tone hid nothing of my rage now. My eyes split open, I could make out the traumatized look on the gals’ faces.
Oh, I was just getting started.
“Tell them all about the time you left me stranded in the middle of nowhere and I had to walk my way back to civilization all alone!” There was no mistaking the growing resentment held in my words. Heck, even I couldn’t feel joyous about this. “Tell them about the griffon that tried to eat me! TELL THEM ALL ABOUT IT!”
Burning with anger, I did the first thing that came to me.
I heard the Mane Six gasp and squeak in shock when my fangs sank into the fur of his neck. Blood flowed like a river onto my face, waking up an instinctive desire to eat ! Greedily, I put even more force into my jaw, snapping it shut.
Discord’s head rolled on the ground.
I fell with the rest of his body.
Landing with a dull thud, I scrambled up to my feet, licking the air with my lizard-like tongue. The smell of blood permeated the air, just as it had soaked my fur.
I liked it.
This was fun too.
“A-ah don’t think we need t-to… seal… Discord anymore…”Applejack’s horrified voice got a few mechanical nods from her friends.
Glancing at them, I saw that it was indeed possible for ponies to blanch. Their eyes were wide, but their pupils had shrunk down to tiny dots. Of them all, Fluttershy seemed the most likely to faint, leaning on Pinkie Pie for some strength. Not that the pink pony fared much better. Her mane had deflated at the sight.
“Bravo, Havoc!” Discord yelled, his body clapping his paws sarcastically. “You’ve crushed their spirits so easily!”
Oh for the love of crap…
Light blinded me for a brief moment. The next, Discord was back in shape, if you could call juggling with your head anything but weird cartoon horror.
“If I had known pretending to die would shock them out so badly, I would have done it a lot sooner.” He laughed. “Oh, dear boy, you truly have a talent for killing.”
I snorted.
My body twitched, all over the place. His last remark just rang too close to the truth to allow me to ignore it. Ten pony lives made themselves known to me, mocking with their vitality and infuriating in their alluded peace.
As I often did now that I was completely bunker, I started laughing again, this time with truly frightening intensity. A dozen hyenas would have sounded heavenly in comparison.
“Oh yes! Those guys! I completely forgot!” I threw myself at the wall for support, legs weak because of my hilarity. “You should have seen the look on my face when I realized what had been happening!”
Finally unable to resist any longer, Pinkie joined in on the laugher. Bouncing up and down with a smile on her face, she approached me.
“Oh silly,” she said. “Laughing at yourself is good, but laughing at others is bad. Sounds like some big meanie pants did not teach you all wrong.”
“Yo-you really think so?” I looked at her with big wide tearful eyes.
“Of course!” She nodded.
“That’s the kindest thing anypony ever told me!” I declared, taking her hooves and smiling. “I was so afraid you’d think I was a super freak because I find the idea of a little filly dying hilarious instead of sad.”
The pink pony instantly stopped bouncing around. She even narrowed her eyes at me.
“That’s not funny at all.” Her tone was very subdued, very unlike her natural self.
“It isn’t?” I tilted my head, confused. I wanted to laugh at it… it was so much better than crying…
“Nu-uh! That’s like supreme Oreo on a scale of one to biscuit!” Pinkie threw her hooves, and consequently mine, in the air. “Only big meany pants like Discord do that! And he made chocolate rain without a. Single. DOLLOP!”
Oh my God… she was right! And I didn’t want to be associated with that!
The realization horrified me. My jaw dropped.
“Celestia damn it,” Rainbow Dash grunted. “Pinkie and that guy connected…”
True as that was, I couldn’t ignore the mind-blowing reveal Pinkie had given me.
“IT’S TRUUUUUUUUUUE!” I wailed, which sounded like a dozen demons being tortured. Leaning against Pinkie’s shoulder, I let the tears flow wildly. “SHE WAS SO YOUU-UUUUU-U-U-UNG!”
“Oh make him stop!” Twilight yelled, covering her ears with her hooves.
“That guy is crazy !” Rainbow Dash growled, not appreciating the cacophony.
“There, there,” Pinkie whispered as she patted my back. “Would you like a cupcake?”
I sniffled. “Yes, please.”
“Here you go.” She turned around briefly, seemingly searching for something before turning back and presenting a purple and blue cupcake. “My favorite.”
Grateful, I took a bite out of it. Its flavors exploded in my mouth, subtle nuances that balanced the extreme sweetness of the dessert without making it heavy.
Overwhelmed by the deliciousness, my legs gave out under me, having me roll on my back, tongue pending out of my mouth. I was in a daze, eyes foggy and blurry with this ecstasy that was Pinkie Pie’s cooking.
A content, goofy grin on my lips, I looked over the remaining mares, who seemed to wish to get this encounter out of their collective minds.
“Where’s Discord?”
Everypony present looked around, but the draconequus was nowhere to be seen. Rapidly, the glares turned to me. In those was a promise for a painful fate that made me sweat.
“Hehe… he got away.” I gave a small nervous chuckle, avoiding their gaze. “My bad?”
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
Running after a clock and an apple
“I can’t believe we got sidetracked from our mission by this… this… this clown!”
Yes, that was the sweet and reassuring voice of our heroine Twilight Sparkle and, yes, she was walking back and forth between both sides of the street. Her face was crunched up with frustration and her snarl was getting impressive.
Oh, and getting called a clown was the least of my worries while I had Rainbow Dash holding me firmly against the ground with a hoof on my neck. Not that I didn’t deserve it after distracting them long enough to give Discord time to escape.
This Gary Stu theory was going down the drain. I made things worse for everypony involved instead of soloing the God of Chaos!
“Twi, there’s no need to get all so worked up over this.” Applejack tried to put a hoof on her shoulder, only for the unicorn to swat it aside.
“She’s right, Twilight.” Rarity nodded, throwing her mane aside, to better match with her Element. “As long as we remember the strength of our bonds, then Discord will be powerless against the Elements of Harmony.”
“But we don’t know where he’s gone! He could be anywhere; perhaps he’s wreaking havoc in Manehattan right now, for all we know!” The purple unicorn shouted back. “By the time we find him, he’ll be back at his full power! The time Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Cadence and Shining fought so hard to buy us will be rendered meaningless!”
Oh man, that sounded epic in more ways than one… Well, at least I knew the reason behind the increasingly unnerved look Twilight wore.
“Wait, I thought they were fighting so we could get the Elements.” Rainbow Dash turned away from me, sounding puzzled.
“Ooooooh, me too!” Pinkie raised her hoof, smiling.
“And now, we have the Elements, sugarcube.” Applejack completed their reasoning.
“Yes! But if we don’t use them, it’s pointless!” Twilight gritted her teeth, hard. I could hear them being grinded together. “We just allowed Discord to roam free because a madpony distracted us!”
“Don’t worry, Twilight. I’m sure we will find him easily,” Rarity assured her friend. “The Discord I remember did not go around unnoticed. It simply does not fit his… horrible character.” She shuddered.
As if to prove her right, Pinkie suddenly started shaking all over. My head snapped toward her, just as a wordless gasp escaped Rarity’s mouth.
Before any of us could speak, a thunderous rumble shook us all to the core. The vibrations reached me to the bones. My vision started shaking.
“What’s happening?!” Rainbow Dash yelled over the overpowering noise.
Twilight turned around. “I think it’s -”
“MY FARM!” Applejack shouted, being the only one to look west.
Without any explanation, she sprinted toward her home, leaving us all in the dust in her panic.
“APPLEJACK!” Twilight went after her.
“We mustn’t go on our own, darling!” Rarity followed suit.
The rumble died down just as the prim unicorn left hearing range. Seeing this, the pegasus holding me down glared. Her voice was lower than usual when she spoke and her hoof felt heavier as well.
“Don’t follow us.” Understood, my lady! Should I give you a hug to apologize? “Come on, Shy! We can’t leave the others hanging!”
Rainbow Dash grabbed her shy friend by the midsection, making her friend let out an overly quiet yelp, and dragged her along in the air. She screamed something, but this being Fluttershy, I could not make out the word when not directly next to her.
This left me alone with Pinkie Pie.
We… we kind of exchanged glances. The pink earth pony’s face remained undisturbed, as she simply looked at me with a smile.
The intensity of all this staring had my cheeks heating up with a greater flow of blood. My embarrassment becoming evident, I averted my eyes, silently looking at a green façade.
A cute giggle graced my ears.
“You’re silly, you knew that?” Pinkie bounced.
Sheepish, I smiled timidly. “Y-yeah, I’ve been told that by one too many friends.”
“Oooooh! Who’re your friends? Do I know them? I know everypony in Ponyville, but you don’t look like you’re from Ponyville which makes sense when you consider that Discord’s your meany pants papa and I really don’t think he’d make a good parent even if he gives you lots of chocolate milk, because like the girls said taking care of children is a big responsibility and they’re not just play pals, you have to take care of them!”
“I know , right? It’s like nopony tries to understand that even when Discord is trying to be nice, he’s even eviler because you know it’s not going to stay nice and he keeps making you wonder how long until the other shoe drops, and I have no idea whose shoes we’re talking about because nopony really wears shoes as far as I can tell, and I have a griffon paw so I guess it can’t be me unless we’re talking about gloves though we weren’t talking about gloves, it was shoes but I’m not an expert on many subjects except what it’s like to be a statue for decades !”
“Decades, oh wow, that sounds really boring!” Pinkie gasped, looking traumatized. “All this time you can’t enjoy cake, and parties, and a good laugh, and cupcakes!”
At her words, a big messed up ball of pent-up emotions made my lips quiver. Eyes watering, I sniffed and gave Pinkie my most adorable puppy eyes.
“Yes! I missed those things so much!” I hugged her, which she returned in spades. “You’re the only one that understands me!”
“Sounds like someone needs a party!” Pinkie shot a look at a nearby tree. “And I have my canon almost ready, but the girls will need me in just a sec.”
This had me reeling back in horror.
“Oh no! Don’t tell me I made you… tardy !” I backed away, crouching low in fear of a possible retaliation.
“Oh no, don’t worry. I know a shortcut.” Through a rift in reality, most likely.
Speaking of which…
“Wait!” I called, just as she turned away. Predictably, she defied gravity and stayed floating. She even twisted her neck, Owlowicious style. Neat, if you asked me. “I have to ask you something… do you know what the fourth wall is?”
She blinked, before graciously letting gravity have an effect on her, even if her body stretched like a slinky to do so.
“Of course I do, silly.” I gasped. Knew it! “It’s the wall that comes after the third!”
…I couldn’t quite argue with that logic.
“B-but… plenty of your fans are convinced you take your cues from the script and all that!”
“What script?” She asked innocently.
“T-the… oh forget it…” I sighed. “It was just a bit of fanon anyway…”
“Awwww, don’t look so down!” Pinkie lifted my chin with her hoof. “You sound like somepony should bake you a cupcake, with rainbows in it! Or something else! Whatever number comes up, I guess.”
I froze. That could not have been a coincidence!
“Now, it’s been super duper fun to talk, but I’ve got some magical friendship to weaponize, bye-bye!” And she was gone before I could blink.
Jaw hanging, I stared at the space she had previously occupied, trying to process what she said.
‘So, she seemed completely sincere not knowing what the fourth wall is OR when asked about a script. Then, she turned it all on its head by going on about cupcakes, which is perfectly normal for Pinkie, only to talk about rainbow sprinkles and a LOTTERY OF DOOM!’
I was giving myself a headache trying to figure it all out.
Soaring pain erupted at the back of my head, though the source was external. Cold hard iron hit my head with devastating strength.
I fell, body giving out from this impact.
It felt… like I was swimming. Not a graceful choreography, but a messy unorganized attempt at staying afloat. My limbs felt heavy even as I dozed off. Vaguely, I could make out the shape of what had befallen me.
An anvil.
‘Oh, right…’ I thought. ‘I can’t believe I forgot… Never try to understand Pinkie Pie.’
It was a good thing I was in a cartoon, otherwise that kind of injury should have killed me.
Then again, that anvil was green. And chirping. And buzzing.
Eyes still unfocused, I stared at the offending item.
“Huh…” I scrambled to my hooves, again. This was becoming a trend.
Oh, who was I kidding? This had been a trend since the last story ended.
…What? The fourth wall goes many ways, you know?
Turning my full attention to the anvil, I stared. It stared back.
For real! A pair of eyes sprouted out of thin air and checked me out.
Then it jumped away, leaping so high into the air I lost sight of it.
My heart nearly exploded when something crashed into the ground, inches away from me.
In a smoking crater, another anvil, pink this time, was cooling off.
“Hi, how may I help you?” I asked with a welcoming smile. It would do no good to antagonize an anvil after all.
“Ribbit,” it said, then jumped away.
“Huh.” I exclaimed, looking at its disappearing form. “It must have been running late.”
Who said I couldn’t be rational anymore?
Ponyville seemed just as empty as before, though in the corner of my eyes, I could catch shadows of movements behind some windows. Hushed whispers followed and I struggled to remember what this meant. I knew this stuff was familiar, but this was a bit blurry.
Finally, I shrugged, just as another anvil went passed me by skipping on its merry way.
“He’s getting started.” I started trotting, before my own words hit me. “Ohmygoshno! He’s getting started…”
Discord’s influence was starting to spread.
My mouth dried up. T-thinking about this… again… it was enough to make breathing harder. Air seemed heavier, more likely to crush me under the pressure. For just a second, my knees folded, as did my wings, under the strength of a weight I could not tell was real. Then…
Slowly, my lips stretch into an unhinged grin.
“Where did the girls say they were going?” I asked, speaking quickly. “Sweet Apple Acres, right? Right. Better get going!”
I ran in direction of Applejack’s farm, ignoring the discomfort brought by my uneven body. Each leg felt like it was pounding back into me on the road that led out of town. One could not qualify it as a dirt road anymore though. Its surface was shining, reflecting the sun and was as clear as crystal.
Breath shortening as the effort went on – unfortunately, Ponyville was indeed bigger than what was implied on the show –, I resolutely turned my mind away from the dancing turtles, the unicorn-shaped wheels on the giant carriage’s axels and the purple singing soap bubbles. It all seemed pretty normal to me anyway.
Not a sign of his growing strength at all…
Letting out a panicked sob mid-run was about the least intelligent thing I could do at the moment, so of course it happened. I abruptly slowed down, twisting to break my run before my panic could seriously cause me grief, but the ground suddenly changed texture.
The previously hard and durable horizontal road turned into a slippery slope.
Uselessly batting my legs, I frantically tried to slow down. Gravity had other plans for me.
My eyes widening, I saw the limits of Sweet Apple Acres getting closer at an alarming speed. In other interesting news, the world seemed to have tilted, because directly at my eye level was the sky. But perhaps that was less the world and just me.
As the last reflex I had, I opened my wings, hoping it would slow me down.
One painful-as-heck pull in my shoulder blades later and I was soaring through the now normal sky. However, a normal sky included wind currents, stronger than before and totally overpowering my feeble attempts at not crashing down into the ground, again.
Luckily, I did not crash into the ground.
However, I learnt that apple trees are painful landing site nonetheless.
Groaning softly, I tried to untangle my limbs from the fruit bearing branches, with some difficulties. The wooden net had broken my fall, painfully, but it did, what’s with the smallest branches all snapping on impact. Now though, my hind legs were way over the rest of my body, with a heavy sensation washing over me as the blood went to my head.
I would not recount much about how stretched my wings were, just know that… well…
“This is just… too uncomfortable,” I mumbled.
Blinking, I shook my head to clear it. I had to remember my goal, namely to make sure Discord would be sealed. I had the perfect plan. Since I was completely crazy and he was completely crazy, in an evil way, I could predict what he would do next if I pretended to be evil!
Struggling with more strength now, my hooves swatted the leaves away from my face. It caused an impressive amount of rustling noise from this single tree. Surely, if Winona was around, she’d have heard it by now.
Nervous, I stopped, just in case that trusted pet dog really was around, but the rustling noise didn’t stop!
My heart skipped a beat. The branches were moving, or were being moved, by something else!
Under this ruckus, I heard a chorus, which signified the presence of more than one other living being. It froze my blood in my veins and my face had to be a great example of dread.
Especially since I recognized the chorus as multiple growls.
“This ain’t good…”
The following scene was extracted from the official Royal Canterlot records, cannot be distributed outside of the library and its content must not be divulged to outsiders. Offenders will be prosecuted and risk facing punishments reserved for traitors against the crown.
The scene was reconstituted from memories, the source being the six bearers of the Elements of Harmony.
Applejack was the first to make it to Sweet Apple Acres.
The farm was… deserted. Not a pony in sight or hearing range. The silence that greeted her arrival felt terribly ominous. The orchards themselves had lost their inviting quality, giving off a vibe of wrongness .
“Applebloom! Big Mac! Gran!” She called, panic slipping into her voice.
She had been impulsive, foolish even, but the fact that the earthquake had originated from the direction of her farm… She couldn’t put that aside so easily when there was a chance that no-good rattlesnake was targeting her family!
As she had looked toward her home, a terrible fact had dawned upon the earth pony mare. It was not a school day. She shivered at the idea that Discord could find her little sister hanging around with her little friends in that old clubhouse in the back of the yard.
There was no sign of anypony on the farm.
“Anyone?”
“Applejack!” She was startled by her friend’s shout. “You can’t run off on your own like that! We have to stay together to use the Elements on Discord!”
Twilight Sparkle had caught up on her quickly enough, which was surprising for a mare like her. Her tone, though harsh, contradicted the very pained light in her eyes.
“But you felt that quake as well as I did! I can’t let my family down like that!” Applejack fought back some tears, her fear for her loved ones growing. She remembered, her brother… acting like an animal, her grandma… dancing without a care for her old bones or the rest of her family. She wasn’t sure she could go through that again.
“You won’t, darling,” her other unicorn friend said softly. Her arrival had been quiet, mostly hidden by Twilight’s much stronger outburst. “I assure you, we will not let that horrid monster touch a hair on their heads, but we cannot lose ours before that either.”
“T-thanks, Rarity, Ah just panicked a bit,” Applejack said, though her body betrayed too much fear for her to be over it.
A cyan dot in the distance caught her attention, making her narrow her eyes and stopping Twilight or Rarity for talking further, themselves curious enough to turn.
“Come on, Shy! The others are all there already!” There was no mistaking that voice. Nor that speed.
With a startled yelp, the mares were shook by the miniature explosion caused by Rainbow Dash’s perfect landing. The pegasus’ focus instantly went to Applejack.
“What were you thinking, AJ, running off like that!? Don’t you remember the last time we were separated near the guy?”
“Rainbow, stop!” Twilight interjected, before the accused one could speak up. “We already went through this and we won’t blame Applejack for caring about her family! Th-”
“There you are!” A peppy voice cut them off. “Phew, and I was worried I might have took the wrong turn.”
“Pinkie…” The other mares gave her a flat look. “You come to my farm every week.”
The pink pony closed in on Applejack, getting right up in her face, as was her habit. “Yes, but I don’t usually use my copter to get here. I just go ‘boing boing boing’ because that’s funnier, but today I had to be super speedy if I wanted to catch up with you.”
She ended her speech by pointing at a red mishmash of tubes and ropes and propellers, upon which rested an embarrassed yellow pegasus.
“Oh, and I picked up Fluttershy on the way here. So we’re all ready for some rear kicking!”
“Yes.” Twilight let out a sigh. “Except we haven’t found Discord yet!”
Blinking, Rainbow Dash looked around. “Huh, where is everypony? Shouldn’t there be somepony around here?”
The remark, albeit innocent, caused Rarity and Twilight to cringe. Applejack, on the other hand, frowned darkly. “That’s what Ah want to know. Even if all that shakin’ didn’t bring down the barn, Big Mac and Gran should still be out!”
Her friends shared a worried look, which fortunately went unnoticed by the Applejack, seeing as she had turned to glance at her surroundings once more.
The lack of response was making her fears grow. Even an unwelcomed sight would have been better than this… incertitude. She had to know what had happened, it would be too… difficult to leave otherwise! She couldn’t let her worry stop her from doing what they needed to!
In the overwhelming silence that had took place over their tiny group, it turned out to be a breeze to hear it. A beastly growl, of warning and anger.
“Winona?” The earth pony whipped around, slightly disturbed that her trusted dog would sound so aggressive. “Why are y-”
She stopped dead in her track.
The remainder of the bearers stared, with expressions varying from pain and sympathy to defiance and fear.
It wasn’t Winona.
“Big brother…” Applejack whispered, heartbroken at the sight.
Legs now locked in place just out of the barn, the not-so-red stallion snarled, head lowered and hooves grating the rich soil of his family’s lands. In his eyes was a primal rage that had even the brave cyan pegasus hesitating.
Silent, Twilight was beyond words. The last time such a spell had been casted on Big Mac, he had been very friendly, a bit too much if she were to be perfectly honest. Not that she had held it against the gentle giant, but right now, she found herself wishing for that kind expression of his to return.
Big Mac barked and the sounds that should have been silly coming from a pony did not sound funny at all. Tears rolled down on his sister’s cheeks.
He barked louder.
Eyes still on the stallion, Rarity and Fluttershy nonetheless jumped at their friend’s side, offering a small comfort in the warmth of their hooves and wings.
Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie ran between the aggressive madpony and their friends.
“Get back, big guy!” The pegasus shouted. “We won’t let you hurt, AJ!”
“Too late for that…” Said mare whispered weakly.
Big Mac paid no mind to either the warning or the lament, pumping up more aggressiveness and blowing hot air off his nostrils. His barking got more violent, scarier. He looked seconds away from attacking by that point.
Applejack’s gaze hardened, bearing a vicious desire of vengeance against the God of Chaos. He would pay for inflicting this torture on her brother and herself.
“Come on, Big Mac…” She planted her hooves firmly in the ground.
He charged.
The mares stiffened and shifted their position to make this a swift battle. Lights illuminating the unicorn’s horns, pegasi’s wings falpping and earth ponies’ muscles flexing, they stood ready.
“Don’t hurt him. We just need to tie him up!” Twilight said, echoing her friends’ thoughts.
The heavy stomping of the stallion’s hooves grew even louder, causing vibrations that made them more wary with every step. It might be more of a challenge to hold back, if their fear interfered.
As it turned out, however, their fear did not interfere.
Just as the mares were about to counterattack, they heard the bloodcurdling scream of ten ponies running for their lives. A second later, a vaguely pony-like monster ran out of the orchards, colliding with Applejack’s brother in the process.
A collective gasp escaped their lips as they stared at the two rolling stallions.
Slightly disoriented, neither of them moved for a second. Then, the one that Discord had introduced as his [censored information] untangled himself, speaking with the known disturbing voice of his species.
“Ah! Big Mac, sorry about that, big guy…” The creature apologized, looking surprisingly sheepish. “Wait, why are you gray? …OH DEAR GOD, YOU’VE BEEN DISCORDED!”
He jumped away just in time to dodge a vicious bite to the face, which was perhaps the single most uncanny part of the creature.
Crouching very low, his belly almost touching the ground, Honest Havoc backed away with fear-filled eyes.
“Nice doggy!” The creature said, lion tail twitching as the bigger stallion growled.
“HEY! DON’T YA DARE CALL MY BROTHER DOGGY!” Applejack shouted, suddenly enraged by the nerves of that clown.
Havoc jumped out of his skin at that, falling off his back after performing a flip in the air. Secretly, Rainbow Dash found the scene funny to watch. She wouldn’t tell her farmer friend that though.
“Girls! I-I didn’t see you there…” His gaze kept shifting between the bearers and the threatening stallion. “I was just… ”
He froze, making his audience tense.
To their growing surprise, Big Mac completely ignored him, turning his aggressive glare to the orchards. Then, just as he started barking, Havoc jolted.
“APPLES! THEY WERE TRYING TO EAT ME!” He jumped away from the trees, running until he was between the stallion and the barn.
For a moment, most of the mares were very tempted to groan in annoyance at the creature’s antics… until… well, they remembered who they were looking for.
To Applejack’s horror, gnawing sound started to echo in the orchards, only covered by her brother’s barking.
Her friends and she then had the misfortune of witnessing the grotesque spectacle of a bird being devoured by a most unlikely assailant.
Shrilled cries echoing its panic, the small animal was desperately trying to get off the ground, only to be tackled by apples. Gorgeous, the handful of fruits was overwhelming the bird. Though they lacked any attributes to do so, they were producing noises akin to that of mastication.
Droplets of blood flew when the Red Delicious finally covered the bird.
Their voice stuck in their throat, the mares could only contemplate in horror as the normally inert fruits gorge on the poor animal. Fluttershy in particular seemed on the verge of tears, while Applejack felt some pieces of her world crash down and burn.
Their macabre fest coming to an end, the apples, as inconspicuous as any other fruit, started gliding away from their prey, some of them leaving a red trail behind.
They glided on the grass, toward the bearers. The discorded stallion’s anger had no effect on them.
Sobbing, giggling and squealing, prey to a bad case of hysteria, Havoc backed away as discreetly as he could. That was to say, he grabbed most of the attention.
The apples accelerated.
Despite increasingly aggressive growls and snarls, they were clearly aiming at one particular pony.
“BIG MAC!” Applejack screamed, as they reached her brother.
For a second, the mare thought her heart would stop beating and a cold sensation washed over her. Even when her brother’s hoof came down and squashed one of the apples, she feared for his life.
The apples… glided past him, without so much as breaking their stride.
All six bearers stared as the stallion growled and snarled at the fruits.
“Oh crap… ” They heard and stared in the direction of the creature they had forgotten.
Scrambling to his feet, Havoc danced on his hooves nervously, staring at the apples that were coming his way. Turning his reptilian eyes to the stunned mares, he dared show them a forced smile.
“Little help here?” He asked in a tiny voice, but before they could react, he sprinted toward the entrance of Sweet Apple Acres. “KILLER APPLES!”
Instantly, said crimes against nature picked up the pace, a disturbing slurping sound coming from the biggest of them.
“RAINBOW!” Havoc screamed. “HOW DO I FLYYYYYYYYY?”
“Flap your wings, you idiot!” The pegasus yelled after him, but was not heard over his own panicked screams.
She blinked, when, the next thing she knew, Big Mac started chasing them, barking louder than ever.
The poor thing’s cries of panic doubled, as he disappeared on the road back to Ponyville.
Crickets could be heard.
The cyan pegasus was the first to blink away the absurd stupor the scene had put her in.
“Did that just happened?”
“Which part, dear?” Rarity asked, sharper than usual. “The fact that Discord’s [censored information] just ran into us again , that a handful of Applejack’s lifework became carnivorous or that her…?” The prim unicorn left the rest unsaid, already regretting bringing it up, especially in front of her friend.
“That’s not important!” Twilight Sparkle said, trying to nip a potential problem in the bud. “We have to find Discord.”
“Well, he was here, alright.” Applejack’s grimaced, gritting her teeth hard. Her next words were more than a little defeated though. “Ah guess… A-Ah should just be glad Ah didn’t have to knock some s-sense into Big Mac…”
“Yeah! That wouldn’t have been fun. Knocking something other than baked goods into somepony is never fun!”
“Pinkie! It’s not the time for that.” Twilight growled. “We still have to find Discord to make sure everything goes back to normal.”
Unsurprisingly, Applejack was probably the most determined.
“Can we be certain he is not hiding here?” Twilight went on, turning to her friends.
“I don’t think he stayed here. After all, he may have separated us briefly, but we’re together now.” Rarity pointed to Fluttershy and Pinkie, the two ponies that were on each side of her.
Twilight’s eyes lit up, understanding exactly what she was getting at. “Of course! He tried to make Applejack leave, but now that we’re all in one place, he’ll try something else! Now, where could he have gone?”
“Hum…” A quiet voice failed to grab their attention. “P-perhaps he…”
“Know what I think? He went to wreak mayhem without a balance of sweet!” Pinkie cut her off.
“SugarCube Corner? Why would he go there?” Dash raised an eyebrow at her eccentric friend’s suggestion. “He can make sweets fall from the sky.”
“A-actually, I think that’s no-” The shy pegasus tried to make herself heard… tried.
“I think Pinkie Pie may have a point here,” Rarity said.
“She does?”
“Of course I do!” The pink pony jumped, before stopping in midair, confused. “What’s my point?”
“DISCORD’S BACK IN PONYVILLE!” They all narrowly fell on their flanks at the sudden shout.
“F-Fluttershy?” Twilight stared incredulously.
“He’ll probably try to destroy our homes so we lose our spirit and he will be allowed to roam free, so I say we get there and stop that big meany before he can harm one. More. INNOCENT. BIRD!” Her eyes narrowed, carrying a stern anger. However, as soon as that outburst was over, she mellowed down, shrinking back on herself. “T-that is… if you don’t mind.”
“You heard Fluttershy! Let’s go!” Rainbow nodded proudly, taking off, with her friends in toll.
Back to me. What do I mean by that? Meh, I dunno, I just had to say it.
‘Oh, listen to me. I’ve made the jump. Now, I don’t even need imaginary friends to talk alone…’
Anyway, I was currently praying for dear mercy, lying on the ground in the middle of a couple of garbage bags. The scent was overpowering, really disgusting, but perhaps that was just my nose being stronger than usual. I knew the first few trips had felt this way, even if the details had started to fade.
Nonetheless, I could not care less. Growls and stomping hooves kept my heart stammering. Alone in the darkness, I was praying Big Mac had not turned into a hunting dog.
His towering shadow loomed over me, blocking the light with his form. From the corner of my eyes, I could see him, standing at the entrance of the dark alley. My thoughts were entirely focused on the mad hope he would not find me.
Big Mac inhaled deeply, sniffing the air. For a terrifying moment, I was convinced he would suddenly charge at me and unleash hell on me. His eyes scanned the darkness, frowning deeply at what I hoped would be my salvation.
With a disgusted snort, the stallion turned around, leaving.
I waited, unable to think clearly because of my fear. Images of terrible fates flashed repeatedly before my eyes, some of them including a brutal beating at the hooves of a tall red stallion.
It took me a few minutes to calm down, but when I did, I let out a long sigh of relief.
“Who’s there?!”
Shocked, I dove into the garbage, blindsided by this scary voice coming out of nowhere!
It just happened that I head-butted a hard metallic can, which yelped in panic.
Huh.
“Ah! I surrender! Don’t hurt me!” It came again, much closer than before.
I knew that voice.
It prompted me to try an inviting smile. “Don’t worry, Mr. Garbage Can, I have friends like you. I’m not gonna hurt you.”
“Ye-yes, whatever you say! J-just leave me alone.” Grinning, I stood on my hind legs, holding the sides of the can with my paw, taking a look inside. Nopony other than me had a voice that echoed. It came from within.
The colt inside cowered. “Monster!”
“Kind of.” I shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I’m hungry.”
His horn flashed purple, strongly enough to be painful in the dark. With a fizzling noise, it burst, blinding me.
“Hey!” I covered my eyes, losing balance and tipping the can over.
With a surprised yelp, the colt rolled out of the can, as I fell down to the ground. Pain erupted at the level of my chin, before the can hit me on the side of me face. The pain has been doubled!
With a groan, I turned to the child close to me, who was groaning softly. The colt’s pale gray fur stood out like a sore thumb in the dark. At this distance though, I could easily notice his trembling. Was he hurt? Letting my concern talk, I took a step closer.
“Are you okay, Shining Armor?”
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
The following scene was extracted from the official Royal Canterlot records, cannot be distributed outside of the library and its content must not be divulged to outsiders. Offenders will be prosecuted and risk facing punishments reserved for traitors against the crown.
The six bearers of the Elements of Harmony arrived back in Ponyville with a shared sense of determination. Unfortunately, amidst that was also a feeling of loss. The town had already started changing in ways no sane mind could presumably conceive, let alone accept.
It weighted down on their moral to see Mayor Mare bath in pink dye while claiming she was the ruler of all things pink. It almost crushed them to need to render her unconscious before she tried to enslave the Element of Laugher’s bearer.
Though the experience was undoubtedly painful, they pressed forward.
It could have been backward… or sideways…
None of the six mares had the slightest idea of where to start looking from. The trickster spirit could be literally anywhere and, had it not been for their secure knowledge of his massive ego, might have despaired at the idea of how far he could be.
No, Discord would not flee . Of that, they were certain.
It made their advance slightly more tolerable, to know that this would be over soon.
It had to be. Seeing Ponyville self-destructing to the madness had to be one of the hardest spectacles to befall their eyes.
“I swear I’m going to buck his face into next year!” The rainbow maned pegasus growled, diverting her gaze away from some foals chanting dark incantations around a cup of ice cream.
“Yes, yes, Rainbow Dash, we all feel the desire to tear him to shreds!” Her pristine unicorn companion replied darkly. “However, using the Elements of Harmony will be much more efficient.”
“Still!” Dash crossed her front legs sullenly. “This is the second time he messed with us and that’s two times too many!”
“Can we get back to business?” Applejack cut them sourly, expression crunched as if she was trying to swallow something bitter.
“Yes, there is no time to lose!” Twilight Sparkle glared, unable to keep her rising anxiety and self-loathing out of her voice.
Every passing moment he was free… every second Discord was using to breath… it was all a reminder of her own failure. Some of the most important ponies in her life had put everything they had on the line to give them this opportunity and they were wasting it!
Where was he? Where was the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony?
Twilight barely heard her friend’s warning, superposed by a deafening detonation, even as a whistling noise started reaching her ears.
She felt, more than she realized, that Applejack had tackled her to the ground. Breath cut short, she did not have the time to ask what she was doing, that a black unidentifiable mass sliced through the air, precisely where her head had been just a second ago.
Stunned, the unicorn’s mouth froze, refusing to answer to her friends’ worried questions about her well-being. Instinctively, her eyes went in the direction the projectile had come from. The disorientation should have stopped that, but Rainbow Dash was a great indicator of that as well.
Flying a few meters up in the air, the cyan pegasus was glaring toward a very familiar building, obviously restraining herself from dashing into it and bucking everypony’s rear.
“Who did that?!”
“Oh, oh, it came from SugarCube Corner!” Pinkie Pie pointed out excitedly. “Do you think that was a flying cupcake? Or a flying pie? Or a flying cookie? Ooooh, if only it had flown toward me I could have tried eating it in midflight! It would have been like playing catch with Gummy, except tastier!”
“You’re playing catch with Gummy?” Applejack could not help but ask. Somehow, the idea of the… calm… baby alligator playing catch did not register in her mind.
“No!” Twilight shouted, standing up. “We’re not getting off-topic any more than this!”
For a brief instant, a flash of worry passed in Rarity’s eyes, as her features hardened slightly. It appeared she wanted to say something to her friend, but decided against it at the last second.
None of the other bearers noticed, as their attention turned to the pastry shop. In the chaotic place that Ponyville had turned into, the building had remained suspiciously unchanged.
Yet somepony had tried to assault Twilight Sparkle, with an unconventional weapon. Applejack’s home had been assaulted… perhaps this was worth investigating.
Following their instinct, the mares charged toward the shop.
They were not quite… prepared for the sight that was presented to them.
In retrospect, they should have been.
Standing in the atmosphere of sugary goodness of Pinkie Pie’s home usually made one pony’s light hearted. Vibrant with colors, the pastry shop had an energizing air to it that made the customers happier.
The first thing that struck them at heart was how the shop clashed with aggressively overpowering brightness. Whereas it used to be comforting, SugarCube Corner seemed anything but.
Twilight also nearly committed high treason against the Cupcake Queen right away, since she had barely been able to stop herself before she crushed a cupcake under her hoof. The fact that the dessert had legs and arms and apparently capable of independent thought made it all the more understandable.
As it stood however, the bearers of the Elements only committed minor treason against the Baked Crown, Mrs. Cake, by entering her kingdom uninvited.
“Off with their tongues!” Came the shrilled order, from the kitchen which had produced so many Baked Goods.
Gluttonous ponies like Rainbow Dash or [censored information] – … Ponyville’s seamstress… who has a ladylike appetite –, had consistently appreciated that fact. Faced with an army of hostile dessert, they could not help a twinge of regret.
“Hey, Rares…” The aforementioned pegasus whispered to her closest companion. “You don’t think they know about your little unlady-like moment of weakness of last week?”
“Quiet! Now’s not the time!” The unicorn’s voice dropped an octave, but jumped up in ferocity. “We agreed to never speak of it again!”
Rainbow Dash snorted, putting a hoof in front of her mouth, gathering the attention of the cupcake soldiers. ‘Worth it!’ She thought.
“That was not a good time, sugar cube…” Applejack shook her head in exasperation.
The mares took a defensive stance as the myriads of differently colored cupcakes gathered into the entrance of the shop. Faster than the intruders could blink, they were cornered by a circular wall of pastries.
Anywhere they looked, they could only make out cooked batter and frosting, except for a small window, allowing a direct view at the activity behind the counter. On a throne-shaped cake rested Mrs. Cake, loafing around while her husband drank tea with a talking clock. If one focused hard enough, they might make out small giggling noises originating from juvenile throats, somewhere behind Mr. Cake’s tea party.
“Who dares enter my – The Cupcake Queen’s – kingdom unannounced?” The royal mare asked, not deigning looking at those lowly peasants.
For a brief moment, they were visited by a now familiar sentiment of disarray and pain, at seeing such a kind figure in their lives rendered as mad as the rest of the town. However, this sensation, gripping their heart, turned into pure dreadful dismay as they heard the extravagant laugher of their pink friend.
“Pinkie?” Fluttershy asked hesitantly, reaching timidly with her hoof.
“Oooooh, that is so not the time…” Twilight muttered, glancing at the self-proclaimed queen.
A simple visual exchange between Celestia’s prized pupil and the orange mare conveyed the message nicely. Applejack certainly understood the rising danger of such a reaction and, through gritted teeth and worried eyes, she tried to defuse the situation.
“Pinkie, this ain’t the right time for this. Why are ya laughing?”
A commendable effort, but truly pointless, especially when the pink pony screeched her next reply between two fits of laugher. “She’s sitting on a cake!”
The response to that could only be-
“YOU DARE LAUGH AT YOUR QUEEN?! SEIZE THEM AND MAKE AN EXAMPLE OF THEM!”
Swift and deadly…
It would come to blow, it appeared. Secretly, Rainbow Dash did enjoy this turn of event. Kicking some butt would probably destroy this feeling of inadequacy…
Probably…
The cupcakes shifted on their feet, grabbing sharpened sprinkles, grumbling darkly. Their nonexistent muscles rippled and flexed as the wall of pastry prepared itself for an assault. In a motion not unlike a wave, the soldiers jumped.
The bearers steeled themselves for the ensuing battle, just as a loud cry pierced through the atmosphere.
“Your Majesty, wait!” Rarity shouted.
As a single stallion, the pastries froze, most in a precarious position, but froze nonetheless.
“What is it?!” Mrs. Cake snapped, no patience left within her expression or her voice.
“On behalf of all my friends, I apologize for this impromptu visit of your kingdom.” She bowed deeply, keeping her tone respectful and her head lowered. With admirable self-control, she managed not to divert her attention when Rainbow Dash started berating her, only to be stopped by a quick elbow to the ribs. “It was unbecoming of us, but we had seen a deadly projectile hauled through the streets and thought it important to investigate.”
“THIS IS NO EXCUSE!” Her voice boomed, with a surprising amount of authority for such a usually nice commoner. The mares had to fight the instinct to listen.
“No, your Majesty.” She shook her head sadly.
“Then it is decided.” She rose her nose in the air, pinching her lips together in an arrogant smirk. “Cut off their tongues so they may never taste cupcakes again.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Pinkie screamed, predictably.
However, nopony predicted her being eclipsed by a truly monstrous shout of indignation.
“WHAT?!” Rarity thundered , her face red and truly a frightening sight to behold.
“Ra-Rarity?” Twilight asked, her expression locked into an uncertain smile.
"How could you think of passing down sentence on us when we’re wearing so little presentable clothes?! What will the next generations think of us?!”
The Cupcake Queen sniffed haughtily. “That is of no concern to u-”
“THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!” The fashionista roared, sending the pastry soldier toppling down in fear.
“Huhh… Sugar cube?”
The unicorn stepped forward, eyes twitching. “H-HOW UNCIVIL! UNCOUTH!”
Her friends winced, if only at the implications such a word had for Rarity.
“Not only do you refuse a proper and respectful apology,” she said, mouth twisting into a snarl. “But you would dare order such barbarism without any chances for us to appear at our best for the annals of history? That is ugly , your Majesty!”
“Now wait just a minute, you pea-”
“I’M NOT DONE TALKING!” Rarity jumped right into Mrs. Cake face, staring her down. “As I was saying before being rudely interrupted, I cannot believe you would force such a sentence on us with neither us or you wearing anything of grace and class.”
“B-but, my royal apron is perfect the way it is!” The poor mare protested, before turning to her husband. “Isn’t that right, Cake Hatter?”
“Of course,” he replied absentmindedly, sipping his tea.
“I regret to tell you that this is completely false, your Majesty.” Rarity bit her lips, trying to soften the blow. “The color really does not do your figure any favor.”
The mare gasped with horror, before slowly sliding off her tasty throne.
“T-this cannot be…” She muttered weakly, tears appearing in the corner of her eyes.
Rarity’s frown finally turned into a kind smile, as she put a calming hoof over the royal mare’s shoulder. “Fortunately, I happen to have just the kind of dress that would most fit your regal figure.”
“Then I ORDER YOU T-” She stopped at the curt look she got from the unicorn. “Err… consider it a favor toward the Crown, fair peasant.”
“Then there is no time to lose!” Rarity did her best to hide her excited giggles at the thought of dressing royalty. “Girls! We’re going to my boutique, now!”
The remainder of the bearers looked more than slightly confounded. In particular, Rainbow Dash’s jaw had dropped as her indignation reached a peak, while Twilight Sparkle’s face was blank.
“Fluttershy!” The fashionista called her shy friend, who shrank back at the sudden attention given to her.
“Y-yes, Rarity?”
“I will need your skills with sewing. I would normally do it myself, but since time is of the essence, you will put together the dress while I conceptualize !”
“Okay…” The poor pegasus whispered, intimidated by the glacial look Mrs. Cake was giving her.
“Now then, time to go,” Rarity declared. “Goodbye, your Majesty.” She bowed ever so slightly, then trotted off.
For just a second, the other heroines hesitated, glancing between the soldiers made out of cupcakes and the exits. The miniature threats made no aggressive move toward any of them, so, with an exchange through a single glance, they all followed Rarity out.
Well, Applejack had to drag Pinkie Pie outside, as the pink pony was still crying her heart out at the idea that her tongue might be cut off.
“But I love it so muuuuuuuuuuuuuch!” She cried, earning a grunt from the farmer.
A few hooves ahead of them were Twilight and Rarity, who both flinched at the pain filled scream.
“So…” The lavender unicorn started, trying to move away from that uncomfortable subject. “You don’t like Mrs. Cake’s apron?”
Rarity looked at her as if she had grown two heads. “Whatever do you mean, darling? It is positively lovely, very flattering.”
“Huh… but you said-”
“I said the first thing that came to my mind so we wouldn’t have to fight the Cakes and possibly injure them or their children, Twilight.” Rarity gave her a leveled glare, as if offended by the suggestion she hated the article of clothing.
“Oh, but…”
“Acting classes.” The prim unicorn smirked smugly. “And Applejack insisted they were a waste of time.”
Pondering her friend’s words, Twilight seemed unable to choose what to make of them. More importantly, she seemed unable to understand why she had not thought of something similar. She hadn’t even tried to reason with them, preferring to power her way through.
Hanging her head low, Twilight felt her heart burn with shame at the mental image of her teacher. How she would scold her when she learned of such a fault…
“Twilight…” She was snapped out of her thought by the voice of her friend. “Do not blame yourself this way. We understand what you’re going through… we saw the blinding light just as well as you did. None of us blame you for your feelings right now.”
“But we’re not going anywhere and I can’t think of any way to make this better. It’s as if I’m just a bur-”
“Do not finish that sentence, dear.” Rarity’s tone had a hint of steel. “Do not finish that statement mentally either. You have been trying to work under the pressure that part of your family has actually fought Discord .”
It was that, hearing her trouble stated out loud, that made the bearer of the Element of Magic pause. Eyes closed, she fought the wave of grief and worry that had taken residence within her heart.
“Twi?” Applejack’s called, dropping Pinkie’s tail, as she looked up to her lavender friend.
“Are you okay?” Fluttershy stepped up.
Her fellow pegasus frowned and crossed her front legs, keeping afloat with her wings.
“You two were having a heart to heart two meters away from us, weren’t you?” Rainbow Dash looked surprisingly pissed. “And you didn’t include us? What gives?”
“Well, Rainbow Dash, perhaps I felt this matter required a more delicate approach.” Rarity replied calmly, though her expression betrayed some matter of annoyance as well.
“Fat load of good that did to her!”
That earned her an elbow in the ribs. “Alright, sugar cube, tone it down before it comes to blows. I ain’t jumpin’ in if you two brawl again.”
“Please, Applejack, I am no ruffian. I do not settle my disputes through violence.”
“Yeah, AJ, even I know better than to do that right now.”
“Meaning you’ll go at it later?” The orange mare probed, and received a non-committing shrug.
“Hum… I think we’re getting a bit sidetracked here…” Fluttershy meekly joined in, shooting worried looks at Twilight.
Now that the attention was back on her, Celestia’s student actually got the courage to speak again.
“I apologize… I think I was starting to get a bit rude and obsessive in my haste to deal with Discord.”
“Hey now, Twi, there’s nothing wrong with dealing with that ol’ rattlesnake bully as quick as a stampeding cow.”
Twilight directed a timid, tentative smile at her, before her vision was filled entirely with pink.
“YEAH! Look at what he did to the Cakes, and Applejack’s hunk of a brother, and Ponyville, and everypony!”
“In fact, we do encourage a swift course of actions,” Rarity quickly added, passing under silence any remark about Big Mac’s impressive built. “We simply want you to remember that, this time, you are not alone in this madness.”
“Y-yes, and we’ll do our best to stay by your side until the very end.” Fluttershy chided in, her voice reassuring and warm.
“Just let him try to play our weakness again! We’ll show him!” Rainbow Dash’s cracked her wings, grinning confidently.
“I…” Twilight’s throat tied up in a sudden knot, torn apart by mixed emotions.
“This is us, Twilight. Harmony…” A white hoof gently touched her shoulder. “Together.”
Her gaze fell on each of her friends. Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, all different in their way of saying it, but all telling her the same thing.
‘We’re here for you.’
In a second, she was reminded of another place, another night. Darkness seemed to have befallen their world forever, all hope had been lost in the face of a deity crushing the one weapon capable of defeating her.
And then…
The Spark.
Twilight jumped headfirst into her friends’ embrace, letting their friendship reach the very core of her being. For a fleeting moment, it seemed as if everything in the world was right again.
And though she opened her eyes to the sad reality of a chaotic Ponyville, the oppressive impression of being so insignificant, so worthless for allowing it to happen, flat out disappeared. Every one of her best friends were there for her and every one of them was looking at her with the same love she felt for them.
However, none of them noticed the slight glow given her by the Element of Magic.
‘Oooooh, my head feels like it’ll split open any second now…’ I thought.
What did my health teacher say about concussion already? Makes you dizzy? Confused? Then why were my ideas so well-aligned? For example, I was truly nauseous, therefore I wished there was a wastebasket in my range so I wouldn’t barf all over Rarity’s lifework.
She’d tear me to shreds.
“Erk… why am I feeling so lucid yet so in pain ?” I grumbled, trying and failing to get back on my hooves.
Screeching and spitting aggressiveness almost echoed in this small boutique. Opal’s fury was so loud it made my fur stand straight on its ends.
In the corner of my eyes, I could see the beast curving its back upward, slit pupils locked onto my broken form.
“Hey Opal...” I asked with faked friendliness, ignoring the growing pit of fear slowly absorbing any and all other emotions I could feel. “How’s it going?”
She hissed.
Her whole body language screamed of bloody murder. My bloody murder.
Jaw shaking and fangs chattering, the corners of my lips slowly stretched up. Somehow, somewhere in a corner of my mind, I felt a bubble pop, like a pierced balloon.
My paw shot up to my mouth, trying to strangle and hold in the strange giggly whiny that built up within me. Needless to say, it served no purpose other than unnerve the already aggressive cat.
My legs’ scream of pain ignored, I stood up, facing Rarity’s cat with a lopsided grin, one eye half closed and blood tinkling down the side of my face.
“EEK!” Sweetie Bell squeaked, before burying her face into Applebloom’s side.
“Stop that! Ah don’t wanna end up gettin’ a shield Cutie Mark!” The filly pushed her friend aside, before sliding down on the floor without energy.
“Y-you know… I’m feeling a little itchy…” I remarked casually, head bobbing to one side and another.
Opalescence opened her paw and with the sound of a sword being unsheathed, her claws popped out.
“Are we doing a contest here? I think we are.” I asked, confused, wobbling on my hooves.
The giant cat brought down her paw to the ground, moving so much air with that movement that my mane flew backward. Opal’s claw hitting her owner’s floor produced a deafening crash.
My eyes twitched.
“Fine… be that way…”
Taking a deep breath, I steadied my hold on the ground, before throwing myself forward with a roar to end all roars.
It was Opal’s turn to feel her fur puff with fear. To be entirely fair, it was such an ungodly sound that even I was crept out.
Oh, remember how I thought I had been somewhat rational because of a concussion? Yeah, forget that.
Cornered animal don’t roll over and die.
Or, in this case, Opal’s pure white fur filled every inches of my vision, obscuring it with carefully brushed hairs. Flowery scent even filled my nostril as this was slammed into my face.
Pain followed. Pain always followed.
It erupted both from my muzzle and my wings, then spread like wildfire, burning through every pieces of me.
The pressure lightened quickly enough, though it did not quite appear that way to me. Eh, who else would have such a distorted sense of time ?
From what I could see through this veil of pain, Opal was shaking her paw in the air, snarling at her stiff limb. She seemed rather annoyed to have hurt herself smashing me into the Carousel Boutique’s fancy walls.
How I wished her some unfortunate accident, like a pie to the face… She kept making those unpleased noise as sensations refused to return to her paw.
Man, that fluffy beast was such a BITCH... nothing like my precious ungrateful bastard, Giantonio. Oh, how I missed that fat cat and his habit of mewling at six in the morning to get his breakfast!
So much better than Rarity’s not so little monster.
Struck by a sudden inspiration, I froze, under the suspicious gaze of the abomination known as Opal. The giant cat slithered toward me like it would a prey, though its gesture betrayed a certain anxiety. Perhaps I had been too much of an annoyance so far.
Nobody likes ruining their manicure.
“Don’t worry, fillies! I’ve gotten the perfect finisher for her.”
“Whatever…” They chorused, still not moving from their spot.
Opal hissed, swiping the air aggressively with its massive paw, probably hoping to intimidate me. The poor thing had no idea who it was dealing with!
“You think I’m scared?” I asked loudly, stretching my wing as large as possible, without, you know, passing out from the ever growing suffering.
For sole response, I saw a paw suddenly obscure all light, coming down insanely fast. Just as planned.
I dashed forward, diving under the entrapping cushions and sliding beneath her foreleg. My hind legs briefly went light, as a sudden current of air lifted them, but the sensation was gone as suddenly as it had appeared.
It was almost enough for Opal to behead me.
Eyes widening, I ducked just in time for a wall of white to pass over my head.
With a frankly hysterical laugh, I launched myself on the accusing paw, clasping my own on the perfectly trim fur covering it.
Viciously, I bit through her skin, eliciting a furious cry of pain from Opal.
I thought I knew what being played with like a superball before… how wrong I was.
Everything but the bloodied white fur became a blur of colors and rapidly shifting images. My own body was left battered, at the mercy of either a capricious gravity or Opal’s muscle power.
‘Amateur,’ I thought, licking the blood still flowing into my mouth.
This was a bit like drinking tomato juice, only much better. Flavors of metal and life danced on my tongue. It was bliss… it was impossible… to wish for this flow to stop.
But it did.
My fangs tore through the flesh, pulled by the centrifugal power and I was sent hollering into the air, right as Opal hissed bloody murder.
“Hmmmm… bloody…” I whispered with a vibrant desire, through the voice of ten ponies.
Entirely on reflex, my wings stretched to their full extent, allowing me a slow glide toward the injured cat. She was completely ignoring me, preferring to lick her wound, so I lowered my head and dove in her direction, just like a griffon coming down onto its prey.
“That’s kinda cool…” The voice of a filly underneath me reached my ears. It betrayed nothing but the slightest interest.
“Don’t watch! You could get a watching Cutie Mark!” Applebloom hissed, whacking Scootaloo’s head.
The admonishment got the grey-orange filly to lower her eyes and return to being lifeless.
“Death from above!” I shouted, landing right into Opal’s shoulder.
Predictably, the beast trashed, but I, mutant with a tattered skin and some broken bones, sank my claws into her flesh and maintained my grip on her.
“Hey Opal!” I screamed, reaching for the cat’s ear right ear. “Want to know something funny? I have a cat named Giantonio! He’s morbidly obese! And you’re still ten times bigger than him! ”
Rarity’s cat abruptly froze, almost throwing me off. From my point of view, it was hard to see much beyond the hanging jaw and the widened eyes. To my great satisfaction, however, I detected horror behind those signs.
With a dramatic sob, the giant cat threw herself backward, right paw resting against her forehead. In a fantastic imitation of her owner, Opal fainted on a giant fainting couch.
The genius slew the dragon. Oh yeah.
“TADAAAAA!” I shouted, standing on my hind legs and extending my forelegs in triumph. “That is how you defeat a rampaging pussy!”
The three fillies looked at me, victorious over my defeated foe. “Meh…”
Giddy, I limped over to them, grinning like a foal on a sugar high. “Come on, gals, let’s take you and Hiding Armor out for a walk.”
“Do we have to walk?” Applebloom pouted, instantly turning her eyes into magical shining orb of uber cuteness.
“Nah, I’ll carry you. I already did that with Hiding.” I chuckled, then crouched and nuzzled them. My agony was not important in the face of foals needing a little fun. “Come on, hop on.”
“Too much work…” The little unicorn shook her head, refusing to lift her bum from the classy floor.
“I can’t leave you with Opal,” I pleaded. “She’ll forget to give you your midday snack.”
At that, the three fillies collectively groaned, but stood on their hooves.
Hesitantly, the Cutie Mark Crusaders started climbing my shoulders, which sent pangs of pain reeling through me. Affecting a weird grin, I did not let that stop them.
Once they were all on top of me, they plopped down as one pony, making me bite my lip and taking off a piece of it in the process.
I giggled.
My eyes danced between the defeated monster and the last remaining member of our adventuring party.
Stretching my neck, I picked up the unconscious Hiding Armor, careful not to injure him with my fangs or cover him with mutant blood and gently let him down onto my back. All four foals now on my back, I turned toward the closed door leading outside and all the magnificent fun it hid.
“Toward further adventures!” I screamed.
The fillies all groaned.
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
Setting the stage for the bigger fish
“Praise the Lady and pass the pamphlets, you slowpokes!” A beautiful and terrible voice boomed through the street.
So, of course, it perked up my interest.
Twisting my neck around, forgetting about the wince of pain and the unenthusiastic reactions of my passengers, I came face to face with an impressive stand like the ones used by merchant ponies.
This one appeared made out of solid gold, with an intrinsic design of scriptures and different solar symbols, reaching a height of three or four meters.
“Whoa… shiney…” I whistled, or tried to. As it turned out, it’s not easy to do with fangs.
I stood still for a moment, taking in the splendid architectural work done there for a simple stand. I wanted to burn it to th-
My thoughts came to an abrupt stop, as horror crawled from the back of my mind.
‘I really need to stop thinking like that. That’s getting a little scaryyyyy .’ I tilted my head at the structure. ‘Even if it would be so much more New Age efficient with fire and pony sacrifice...’
Somehow, that idea made me snort.
“Praise the Lady and chant about her grace!” Somepony repeated, with a more vindictive attitude than before.
“I don’t want to…” Sweetie Belle muttered sullenly.
“It could be fun, Sweetie!” I jumped a bit, almost shaking them off.
With great care, I managed not to, using my wings, but that action hurt like hell.
“Eh…” My breath hitched. “Let’s not try that again, okay?” I said, voice strained.
“Sure. Can we stop doing stuff now?” Scootaloo asked in turn, sounding bored out of her mind.
“Does talking count?” I looked at the fillies with a curious expression. They all looked shocked.
Then they each covered the other two’s mouth.
“Is that a ‘yes’?” I frowned.
They refused to move a muscle.
“We’re not going to get anywhere without good communications, girls!” My lips formed a pout, which was ridiculous considering how much my lower lips hurt at the moment. “Unless the show was wrong, you can’t do telepathy.”
However, the fillies were spared from answering me, as a powerful voice boomed all around us. I swore I saw windows cracked in the distance.
“Who dares not bow to the image of the immortal and ever graceful Celestia?!”
I lifted my paw to scratch my head sheepishly, but the sudden burning pain stopped it short. Instead, I was left staring at the enormous golden thing. “I have to admit I’m not so sure myself.”
“It matters not to this priestess, fool!” Again, the voice rang out of nowhere.
A familiar sense of doom inched toward my guts. Were my imaginary friends coming back from their imaginary graves to avenge their imaginary fiery executions? If so, I sure hoped my backup plan would work.
Blame the cake… The cake is always the mastermind!
Yup, I was safe from their vengeance.
“So… Mika the singer, I presume?”
For a single, the sense of doom disappeared. In fact, a dead silence took place between the golden stand and me. Somehow, it gave me the impression someone or somepony was calling me an idiot.
I chuckled under my breath. ‘Good, the fools shall underestimate me… they'll never see my terrible plot coming.’
“We know not of this… Mika you speak of, but we demand that you bow to the image of Celestia, our sister!”
That got my attention.
“Excuse me?” I called to the empty air, looking around at the sky. “I thought Luna was her only sister…”
That was a mistake on my part. Apparently. It was hard to tell when a gust of wind born from a furious shouting voice was threatening to send you flying. “HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF THIS ACCURSED NAME?!”
The old me would have called it a miracle I had not been obliterated on the spot. The new and improved me snickered like a hyena, sprayed all over the dirt road, with the weight of four foals keeping me down.
Oooooh, my ribs were killing me.
“Do not laugh, strange creature, and worship the ground Celestia the divine walks on.” The voice ordered again.
“But she’s not walking!” I protested loudly. “She’s lying in a crater, probably in a coma, with nopony to help her!”
Wait…
“Nonsense! The divine Celestia would never fall into a coma! The fact that the sun is still up in the sky is proof enough.”
“Oh geez." A sudden feeling of urgency gripped my heart. "I completely forgot to mention that before, didn’t I?”
“Celestia’s injured?!” Three little fillies screeched in my ears, mouth hanging out with shock.
My face remained frozen in an expression of pain, as the ringing overwhelming my hearing. To add insult to the injury, three pairs of hooves were pushing forcefully on the back of my neck and three adorable faces were invading my field of vision.
“Yes. Wanna go see her and help?”
Instantly, their faces lost all colors and emotions and they fell back between my wings. “Nah.”
“For the last time, you heretic, the divine Celestia cannot be unconscious, as she is perfect in every way.”
Well, that wasn’t wrong, per say, but…
“I remember seeing that.” I looked up, eyes falling on a rather pretty drawing of Princess Luna. “I was kind of wandering where you were when I wasn’t talking to buffalos and clocks, best pony number seven.”
“I am the high priestess of the Order of the Sun, creature,” the figure replied harshly.
“That’s nice.”
“Yes.” Luna’s image nodded, golden face showing a small smile. “As such, I present you a petition to send to the Great and Powerful Celestia so she’ll make it day forever. There is no need for the useless night.”
“That plot rings a bell…” I scratched my chin, lost in thoughts.
“ETERNAL DAY!” Luna shouted, before devolving into evil laugher. “IT SHALL LAST FOREVER!”
“Man, I know I heard this before…” I muttered, looking down.
“APPRECIATE YESTERDAY NIGHT, CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE, FOR IT WAS YOUR LAST! ONLY CELESTIA IS ROYAL ENOUGH FOR YOU!”
“It’s on the tip of my tongue…”
“H-huh…” A sleepy, confused boyish voice reached me from my back. “What’s going on?”
“Oh, Princess Luna is ranting about bringing eternal day.” I shrugged, continuing to ignore the lancing pain any movement caused me. With a last wave to the golden stand, I turned around, going on our merry way. “But before that, you decided to get into Rarity’s boutique where you fell unconscious.”
“…I’m still with you?” Hiding Armor’s voice fell flat, as if terribly disappointed.
“Yup. Happy?” I asked cheerfully.
“I’m not going to answer that,” he deadpanned.
“Who are you?” Sweetie Belle chipped in. “I’ve never seen you before.”
“That’s Hiding Armor, my sidekick!”
“Stop calling me that!” The colt reached forward, before a dull pain erupted at the back of my head. At this point, painkillers would be a nice thing to have. “My name’s Shining Armor.”
“Hi Shiny!” The little unicorn filly greeted him.
“Yeah, that…” Scootaloo shrugged.
“What she said,” Applebloom added.
“Hum… hi…” From the tone of his voice, it was not hard to guess he was blushing like crazy.
“Awwwww, that’s so cute!” I giggled. “It’s like puppy love! Careful, Hiding, Caddy might get jealous.”
“Who’s Caddy?” Sweetie Belle inquired, rather curious. For a second, it seemed as if… well, she was not as indifferent as she had showed me so far.
“His wife!” I said, jumping over a puddle of pink water.
For some reason, I could imagine it, Rarity’s adorable little sister, being unbearably jealous of the best babysitter in the whole wide world. Even the tantrums would be cute. A lively little filly that would open up to the world again.
It… kind of crushed me to hear her next response.
“Meh…” She shrugged.
I froze, staring at the ground.
N-not that this was surprising. O-oh no, I sort of… expected this… I guess… She had been discorded after all.
For the first time in a while, any and all thoughts of smiling, of taking in the irony and the cruelty like the big joke the world was, disappeared. In its stead was a terrible feeling of guilt. Weighting down on my chest just as much as my wounds were crippling my legs, it kept me nailed to this spot.
“Huh… weird guy?” Hiding asked, shifting onto my back, moving through the mass of the three fillies with adorable clumsiness.
‘All my fault…’
“A-are you okay? W-wait, is that blood ?!” The colt’s voice cracked, like he was trying to win an award and if I had not been so miserable, I would have given it to him.
“Yeah, he got that when he jumped through the window after you.” Scootaloo replied with a bored voice.
“Quiet!” Applebloom hissed. “Are you trying to get a story-telling Cutie Mark?!”
This was all my fault, right? Those cute little fillies… they were a shadow of their former selves, because of me…
“H-he did?”
Why was I being happy over stupid stuff like giant pillows that smother disobedient gravy boats? W-why did I keep fooling myself?
“Yeah…”
W-what was her name already? Ora- no, not that one… Lemon Glass… that was me… well, the stallion… the father…
Golden Bud.
“That’s…”
That was her name… that filly that had been my daughter. That Discord had killed and brought back, for the sake of his freedom. Would he pay her special attention once his power were back to its full strength?
I could not let that happen.
This time, no tempest or wildfire roared in my chest, demanding his blood.
There was a stone. A petrified piece of sanity imbedded well within my very being.
Some things were just too horrible, insane man or not.
This had to stop.
I might have a faint idea of where to find Discord, but there was at least one thing I had to try first. Reason be damned, this was the least I could do.
Without a word, I turned on my hooves again, almost shaking off the poor foals perked up there. Hiding even stumbled and fell onto my draconic wing.
The leathery skin stretched under his weight, sending waves of pain over his single cry of indignation.
“What now?!” Hiding yelled, finally getting truly fed up with my antics.
“Please bear with me just a little longer,” I asked quietly, eyes focused on the road ahead of us.
Taken aback by my sudden seriousness, the little unicorn closed his mouth and said nothing more.
That was probably a good thing. I needed a lot of focus to keep going. Without the support of an unwell mind and no sense of priority, my brain was taking the full force of my pain. It was enough to hazel my vision. From times to times, I would trip on an irregularity in the street, simply because they seemed to appear at random intervals. Every time this happened, I would seal my lips, lest I let out a pained grunt and consider resting.
But, well, I already knew…
“No rest for the wicked, no peace for the guilty…” I whispered, voice twisting into a scary demoniac sound.
None of the foals in my company bothered to reply. To them, this was getting normal or they simply couldn’t care less. They thrived for nothing and were just apathetic little bundles of flesh. This wasn’t right.
Heck I could get used to a green sky as it started to appear over Ponyville, Celestia knows I could go through a truckload of crap before truly breaking, but this crawled under my skin.
Fortunately, my mind wasn’t quite beyond repair yet. I knew one way… twice before it had worked. For a moment, I had been allowed the experience of a pony’s life, fully expressed through a group. If I could get those fillies to feel that… maybe…
Beyond a façade of cold determination, I smirked. How lucky that I knew just the place for such a purpose.
Alright, as disturbing as that was, I had almost been pulled back into a manic moronic mad state at the sight. T-this was just that incredible. Transfixed, my eyes were locked onto the goal I had given myself. That was the problem.
I could not stop drooling.
Heck, judging from the wet sensation on my fur and my wings, neither could Hiding Armor and the others! Also, EW!
That chocolate stage was just that glorious .
Glittering under the sun, sparkling with savory goodness, the whole thing seemed like the work of angels that had decided to bake.
Pillars of a light brown oozed with a golden substance that filled the air with the most delectable of scent. The scene seemed sturdier, incorporating various mixes of chocolate, its swirling pattern captured the gaze and refused to ever let it go. Intricate, the structure seemed the very image of any sane creature’s most obvious dream.
The buffalos dancing on it in pink tutus kind of ruined the effect though.
Shaking my head, I finally managed to break out of the trance, long enough to join the crowd of hypnotized ponies humming the musical number’s melody.
I could recognize a few, with my anguish growing every time a familiar face could be seen through the crowd…
‘Sorry Berry…’ I averted my gaze, trying to stay focus on the task at hands.
Pushing through the crowd with great difficulties, I managed to make it to the feet of the stage, right below the musicians.
“S-sorry, Sir?” I poked a blue stallion hesitantly, hoping not to get him to flee at the sight of a weird mutant pony.
“Yes?” The pony replied cheerfully, pausing in his next stroke against a violin’s strings all the while taking my appearance in strides. It wasn’t that surprising though, now that I could see the spirals in both his pupils.
“When will their performance end?” I asked, pointing toward the ballet dancers.
“It won’t.”
I rammed my head into the splendid wall of chocolate in front of me.
I should have seen that coming. I really ought to use less logic in my actions.
Time for some good ol’ stupid. I should have no problem dishing that out.
Stretching my front legs, I climbed up on the stage, ignoring the lancing sensation spreading through my limbs and the uncomfortable pull at the fur on my back. Healing magic might come in handy again. I hadn’t looked at that head injury yet, had I?
Meh, I’d do that later.
With some struggles, I managed to stand on the stage, all four foals still in place thanks to a combination of luck and solid jaw power. Ouch.
Staring at the stoned audience, I felt a twinge of nervosity at the expecting looks in their eyes. Collectively, they reminded me of a bunch of sunflowers. Yeah, really. They just turned toward the shiniest thing. Luckily, that wasn’t me.
But the sun had really taken a crappy moment to change position in the sky and illuminate the whole place with the strength of a thousand spotlights.
Doing my best to ignore the burning sensation in my eyes and the bouncing buffalos not too far away, I focused my attention on the zombies that bobbed their heads on a rhythm of triangle and violin.
“H-hello, crazies of Ponyville!” I shouted enthusiastically, almost standing on my hind legs just for the added effect.
“Hi Honest Havoc!” They all replied in unison.
My eyes widened.
Okay… the creepy factor had been tripled.
Mouth dry, I swallowed what little was left of my certitudes and tried to roll with it. “I’ve got a bunch of nice foals to present to you! Wanna meet them?”
As I said that, I tilted my body left, making the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Twilight’s B.B.B.F.F. roll onto the stage.
“YES!” Their creepy hive mind thing was still in effect, at least.
“Sure thing!” I plastered a fake smile on my face and lifted my paw in their direction. “Those three are Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.”
“HI!”
“Meh.” The fillies shrugged, planting a seed of doubt in my mind.
What if this wasn’t the right answer? What if I was just wasting time that could be used more intelligently?
“A-and this is Prince Shining Armor.” I went on, trying to sound confident.
And because he was such a nice stallion, Shining whelped and tried to hide behind the fillies, making me look like Iron Will.
The corners of my mouth started to hurt, stretched as they were. “Now that the presentations are done, I’d like to sing you ponies a song!”
‘Please, please, please, let this work…’ I begged anything that was willing to listen to make at least this worthwhile.
“Colts and fillies…” I turned to the musicians on stage. “Hit it!”
With a nod, they started playing.
The notes were low and the melody hesitant, expressing the same unease I felt. I couldn’t quite tell whether they were reading my emotions so well or just unable to decide what kind of beat this should have.
Eyes closed, I slowed down my breathing, inhaling and exhaling deeply to calm my maddened heart. I searched for a sensation I had long forgotten, that of the inherent magic within this world.
‘Oh please, let that flyer not be a load of bullshit.’
There was nothing.
I-I couldn’t find it. Was it gone with Discord’s return? Was he powerful enough to destroy this law of the ponies’ world? There certainly hadn’t been a musical number in his episodes…
Rising beyond my control, an abject guilt started to drown my senses. This probably was the only way I could ever get the Cutie Mark Crusaders out of that horrible state of nonbeing.
I… I just wanted them to be back to normal… I wanted them to be good lively fillies again. I wanted to see them go crusading again. N-no, not even that. Just knowing they would go on would be more than enough. I wanted the true Ponyville back, not this pale imitation, so they could have safe fun again. I wanted them to remember.
A fire ignited.
Eyes shot open, I stared ahead at the crowd, waiting patiently for the song to pick up.
My smile became genuine. Standing on my hind legs, I opened my wings, as broken as they could be, disheveled but still smiling .
“Welcome to Ponyville!” I snapped my claws together.
Click. Click.
“It’s a ni-i-ice place to be!”
Click. Click.
The musicians started to pick up the pace.
“Why don’t you come over here and enjoy it with me?” I grinned toward the foals on the stage, motioning for them to join me with my right hoof.
They refused to move, but that much was expected. I would not let this attempt fail so easily.
“Welcome to Ponyville!” I shouted louder, joined by the hypnotized crowd.
“Where all the ponies are CRAZY!” I got down on all four, rapidly moving to the very edge of the stage, grinning and looking more than a little loopy.
“Come on, colts.” I raised my hooves in the air, male ponies standing up in waves at my words. “Come on, fillies!” The mares did the same, cheering loudly. “It is time for you to see-ee-ee-eeeeee!”
Oh dear, I just lost one dancer to the assault of a violent anvil. This really should weird me out more. No time though, gotta keep the crowd entertained… and hope.
“The fun to have in this magical city!”
From the corner of my eyes though, I could see the foals I had been watching over were not quite… uninterested. Of the four, Sweetie Belle seemed the most alert.
Encouraged by this discovery, I felt my grin widen and my singing voices turned mischievous.
“Do you know Ponyville?” I tilted my head at a brown earth pony, who shook his head. “Well, I’ve heard it’s a beautiful place.”
“Do you know Ponyville?” I asked another. “It really seems to be an amusing place.”
“YEAH!” A white muscled pegasus yelled.
“Well, ponies, it’s time you hear about Ponyville too!”
The musician’s beat slowed down almost to a halt, creating a dark atmosphere. My voice even dropped a few octaves, only carrying the most sinister of them.
‘Ponyville was founded by the Apple family or so the legend says, By a green Apple mare, who got herself out of a pretty bad jam, From the jaws of the wolves, yes, the great TIMBERWOLVES!’
I reared back, roaring and howling, at once through a miracle of my larynx I’ve never managed to explain.
To my delight, a small squeak came from the discorded foals.
‘But fear not, for the family of the Rich made good to their names, And the settlement grew… and so many ponies showed up their manes… That’s how, with the years, Ponyville got its fame!’
The music picked up again, coming closer to a happy melody. In response to that, I started to shake my flanks a bit. It was just infectious!
‘But fear not, for Ponyville is still the most charming, welcoming, heartwarming… It is the town where Disaster strikes twice and Harmony thrice. Oh yes, for Ponyville is the most charming- ’
“WELCOMING!” A young voice cut me off.
With a delighted grin, I turned around, seeing a shocked unicorn filly staring at her mouth, agape as her friends could not believe their own ears.
“Sweetie Belle?” Applebloom muttered, unsure.
“I-I…” She looked around, trying to figure out why she had done this.
“Sweetie Belle?” I asked, capturing the foals’ attention. “Would you like to sing with me?”
I offered her a hoof and tried to look as non-threatening as possible, but the filly seemed less than thrilled anyway.
“N-no…” She gulped down nervously, shooting glances at the audience, as if finally realizing there was one. “I’d rather not…”
Normally, that would have sent me spiraling into despair. Except seeing the gray in her mane fade into livelier colors sent all sorts of fuzzy feelings straight into my heart.
Tapping my hooves discreetly onto the stage, I started beating up the rhythm of the song again.
“Are you sure?” I asked, to which she replied with the negative.
The attention of everypony was on her. I could understand her anxiety, not to mention the tremendous peer pressure she must have felt.
“Ponyville is the mooooost…” I hummed, starting the song again, the ponies around feeling the words on the tip of their tongues.
For a second, Sweetie Belle bit her bottom lips.
“Oh it is the mooooost…” I turned to the crowd, leaving the end of the line hanging.
With a slow, deliberate movement of my hips, I playfully bumped into one of the buffalos.
The giant just raised an eyebrow at my behavior, before catching on to my game.
His arms slipped under my chest, gentler than I had expected from such a strong animal, and a brief pressure was followed by a sensation of weightlessness. It lasted only a second, as I blinked and found myself standing on the buffalo’s shoulders.
The position was uncomfortable, at best, but as I stole another glance toward Sweetie Belle, it seemed to me as if her cute eyes were filled with envy.
I sang deliberately slowly, leaving everypony with the natural compulsion to complete the line. “Truly, Ponyville is the mooooost…”
“…fun place in the whole wide world!” Sweetie Belle jumped in unashamedly, running toward another buffalo dancer.
She went from one side of the stage to another in less time than it took me to go insane, her innocent demeanor growing more apparent with every step.
And, as if to reflect that transformation, her coat lost its unnatural state, gray being gradually replaced by pure white fur.
My heart skipped a beat when I realized my idea had succeeded. I even missed half the lyrics she sang, not stopping to breathe or compose herself when the buffalo to her left threw her on his back.
I watched, just as her friends watched with growing interest and increasing liveliness, the rise of that talented filly who would shake her brainwashing with just her own passion and her desire to make the most in life.
She sang about Nightmare Moon and Discord, which, even if she hadn’t quite understood what it had all been about, she knew was so important from her sister’s retelling.
She told the crowd about Hearts and Hooves Day, when stallions and mares play. She chirped about Winter Wrap Up and the Apples’ cider season, the summer vacations and of course, the Summer Sun Celebration.
For a second, the little filly appeared disturbed by the lack of recognition in her audience’s eyes. However, that was too small of a setback when she had so much energy stored within her chubby legs.
“Hey, Mr. Stallion! Those ponies don’t know the same Ponyville we do!” She turned to me with an obviously fake anger.
Eh, the acting classes would come in later.
“Well, we can’t have that, can we?” I smirked, to which she nodded enthusiastically.
“No, Mr. Stallion, because Ponyville is full of fun things to do!”
“Like fending off Parasprites!” I snickered, just imagining Rainbow Dash’s moment of weakness as she fled the swarm.
“Or inventing a cream against mosquito bites!” Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes, a bit annoyed at my nonsensical line.
“It is fun in Ponyville.” I laughed. “Nice and friendly, warm and cozy, cold and frisky, what’s a pony to be?”
“Oh yes, I like Ponyville…” Sweetie stepped forward, bringing about a chorus.
“Yes, I like Ponyville…” I repeated, raising my paw in the air in a mirror image of Sweetie Belle.
“There’s plenty of friends around!” The filly glanced at her awestruck friends.
“Love and tolerance abound!” I thought of another time I had sung like this. I wished it would not stay just a dream…
“Oh Ponyville is the ideal place to find our DES-TI- NYYYYYYYYYYY!”
I blinked. The whole crowd blinked as the filly perfectly hit the note, carrying it on and on, with a simple passion that was as cute as it was touching. It seemed as if she had no need for trivial things like breathing, even if we were shocked into stunned gasps.
Finally, her voice started to lose in volume, lowering in a timed decrescendo that sounded… perfect.
When silence truly fell, Sweetie Belle had a whole bunch of hypnotized ponies staring with wide eyes and slackened jaws. Mine only truly dropped when a light suddenly appeared over her flanks.
‘I-is that…?’
I barely had the time to formulate my thought that the light dimmed, revealing a Cutie Mark decorating those previously blank flanks.
A silver bell over a musical partition.
I nearly got diabetes at the sight of the little unicorn squealing with pure unaltered joy.
“YES!”
However, my senses were overwhelmed by a powerful vertigo, as everything started to spin and my balance was replaced by a feeling of lightheadedness.
P-perhaps I should have paid more attention to that head injury…
The assembled ponies certainly did not seem to pay much attention to me now that I had stopped performing for their entertainment.
The crowd seemed however disturbed, seconds later, when a furious white blurred shape cut right through the mass. I… I was unsure, but that looked like white and deep purple to me. Huh… a rampaging pony?
~ Moments earlier. ~
The following scene was extracted from the official Royal Canterlot records, cannot be distributed outside of the library and its content must not be divulged to outsiders. Offenders will be prosecuted and risk facing punishments reserved for traitors against the crown.
They had known right away something had gone wrong with Rarity’s boutique – the broken window being enough of a hint –, which was precisely why they barged right through the front door, with a lack of etiquette that would have appalled the unicorn in other circumstances.
As it stood, they were more concerned about the possible presence of the Lord of Chaos.
But as they made their way through the entrance, they realized it was empty, for the most part. That alone was a fact that deeply troubled the bearer of the Element of Magic.
A part of her had told her about chaos and madness being strong in her friend’s home. I-if she concentrated enough, she could feel residual traces of his magic in the air.
Earth ponies and pegasi followed right behind them, in turn taking the abnormally empty place.
With the exception of…
“Opalescence?!” The prim unicorn exclaimed with horror. “Hold still, Mama’s coming!”
With a speed that would (and did) make her competitive friends jealous, Rarity sprinted toward her pet, nonplussed by her unusual size. All she could see was an injured cat, her injured cat.
She was quickly followed by Fluttershy, answering her own nurturing instincts.
“W-what happened?” She asked, in a panic.
The resting monstrous thing barely stirred at the voice of its owner. At most, it moved its paw away from its forehead.
Fluttershy let out a sad squeak at the sight of the injury, flying to Opalescence’s level and trying to get a good grip on the offending limb.
To the surprise of her friends however, she paused in her action.
“Shy?” Rainbow Dash tilted her head, puzzled by the reaction.
The shy pegasus was staring at the bleeding wound with a frown. Her hoof reaching for the bite mark, she seemed unable to push the words out.
“Fluttershy?” Twilight stepped in, doing her best to sound encouraging. “What’s wrong?”
“I… I don’t know any animal with that kind of jaw shape… it almost looks like it was done by a pony with fangs.”
One could hear a pin drop. The yellow pony’s words had created an instantaneous, heavy, uncomfortable silence. Five mares stared at each other with uneasy grimaces, while deliberately avoiding the last one.
Nopony wanted to look directly at Rarity as she took in the information. Her concerned look slowly morphed into a frightening snarl.
“I’LL DESTROY HIM!”
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
Derail the train with caramel
Now, as per my usual way, I believe that to avoid conflict one must not jump to conclusion. However, in this specific case, I was willing to make an exception.
“YOU VILE BEAST!”
‘Brain, I believe Rarity is not very happy.’ I thought, looking away, filled with melancholy.
‘Gee , you don’t say?’
‘Well…’
“YOU SHALL PAY DEARLY FOR EVERY DROP OF BLOOD OPAL LOST!”
I mean, for freak’s sake, she sounded scarier than me and I sound like a creepy demon in need of some cough medicine.
The only reason I wasn’t running away screaming was the fact that my legs were barely supporting me anymore. That and the fact that maybe, just maybe, I had an ace up my sleeves.
“Rarity!” The white filly cheered, dropping her mic on the stage without a second thought, and tackled her big sister’s leg to hug her.
Rarity, meet my trump card.
“Oh Sweetie Belle!” The mare’s voice boomed with relief. Without losing a second, she returned her kid sister’s hug, and broke it off. “You’re not hurt, are you?”
“Nu-uh.” Sweetie shook her head quickly, wishing to bring her sister’s attention to much more important matters.
“Thank Celestia,” she said with a smile. “Now be a dear and get behind me so I can deal properly with this ruffian.”
Aw crap, I was hoping she wouldn’t be up to it after a little exchange with Sweetie Belle.
“Wait, Rarity! Look, look! I’ve finally gotten my Cutie Mark!”
Even with my mind as hazy as it was, I instinctively covered my ears. A smart move.
Rarity’s squeal nearly got supersonic. The high pitch noise sent a muted vibration through my bones, which, for the record, is about as fun as listening to obnoxious rabid protesters.
The fashionista danced on her hooves with excitement, lifting her sister with her magic. The filly floated to eye levels, her mark of destiny raised for the world to see.
“Would you look at that?” She put a hoof over her heart, grinning from ears to ears. “My sweet little sister is growing up!”
Sweetie Belle only squealed with delight as well.
“Oh, Sweetie Belle, that’s just wonderful.” Another mare joined us on the stage, this one yellow with a pink mane. “Congratulations.”
“Wow, you were right, Fluttershy! It really was Sweetie Belle’s voice.” And a third one just popped out of nowhere, holding some cotton candy in her hooves.
“It was her beautiful singing voice !” Rarity insisted on the terminology, bringing her sister into yet another hug. “Oh, can you imagine it, Sweetie Belle? You’ll be a star!”
“That sounds nice, yes.” The filly nodded.
“Leave everything to me, Sweetie. I’ll use all of my connections to make sure you become the big talk of Canterlot! Oh, the lights will shine on you like a thousand sta-”
“APPLEBLOOM!” An equally accented voice cut her off, though this one was filled with relief.
“Sis?” The grey filly raised her head a little.
Something like an orange blur passed right in front of me, nearly barreling into me. I barely managed to remain standing after that. Perhaps a b-bit more… Nope. The ponies in front of me blurred.
My legs gave out under me. With a pained grunt, I fell right on my side, mute pain spreading from the wing that had the misfortune of ending underneath the rest of my body.
Things were a bit fuzzy. My mind was almost washed away by a tempting and peaceful darkness. It was edging around at the very limits of my vision. They were slowly gaining on me.
“Thank Celestia, you’re okay, lil’ sis.” Applejack’s voice cut through the silence that plagued me. “You have no idea how worried I was… a-after Big Mac had…”
“Meh.”
Very briefly, I felt warmth spread from the side of my head, right where my injury was. It broke through to me, reaching and pulling me out.
Everything was suddenly clear again. Weirder still, the weight on my body, the weakness in my legs… they were both gone.
W-what?
Though my eyes were transfixed on the Apple sisters, I almost missed their exchange, for my attention was inward.
My thought process had almost gone awry, I knew that. For a split second, I just felt a rush of more chaotic emotions push at the back of my head, wishing to be freed. It had been luck that the strange phenomenon had not made me go all the way back to that strange insane state of being…
“Applebloom? W-what are you saying?”
“I just dun’t wanna leave, s’all.” The filly replied, lying flatly on the stage, chin against the chocolaty thing.
The mare stared, her expression frozen with horror.
“Girls! We already said we shouldn’t run off that quickly!”
I lifted my head a bit, some of my previous fatigue gone. Up in the sky, Rainbow Dash was carrying her friend over the crowd, both of them looking considerably pissed.
“Twice, girls! Twice!” The cyan pegasus shrieked as soon as she had dropped Twilight onto the stage. “What part of sticking together do you not understand?!”
“Oh forget about that for a moment, would you, darling?” Rarity brushed her off, still nuzzling her little sister. “There are much more pressing matters at hooves. Sweetie Belle just got her Cutie Mark! Isn’t she amazing?!”
Rainbow Dash looked slightly taken aback by the tirade and nodded, muttering a “congrats, kid” toward the filly.
“It’s all radical and all, but we’ve got a mis- wait, is Scoots around?”
“Yup, here she is.” Pinkie snickered while holding out the dull-colored filly.
“Meh.”
It was almost comical to see the mare faceplant. Almost.
“Whoa, back up here…” Rainbow raised her hooves in front of her face, blinking in an exaggerated manner. “Did you just ‘meh’ me, Scoots?”
“I guess…” The filly shrugged.
Crunching her face angrily, the mare stared intensively at her number one fan. She already knew something was terribly wrong, of course, but my guess was that she was not thinking of another Mare-do-well situation.
“What gives?” She asked quietly, much more than how I expected her to react. “You love it when I make a dramatic entrance, showing off my moves.”
Scootaloo just sighed and looked away. “I just don’t see the appeal.”
A wave of sympathy ran through all of us, even Pinkie, if the collective wince we shared was any indication.
Ouch.
Now Rainbow Dash was definitely pissed. Rattling the ground with one hoof, exhaling a small cloud of smoke from her nostrils and flapping her wings slowly, she was the image of a bull about to charge.
Discreetly, I tried to scoot a few inches away.
“Okay, something’s seriously wrong with you. If you don’t see the appeal, it obviously has been too long since you last saw me fly,” Rainbow declared, snatching the filly away from the pink pony and securing her in her hooves. “Give me ten seconds.”
Oh dear…
Even if Twilight had lunged forward the moment she had heard her friend’s plan, the lavender unicorn only went through a blue and multicolored shadow.
“Rainbow Dash! Wait!” She screamed after her already airborne friend.
Awed, I looked up, eyes wide and following the rainbow trail the mare left behind her. Though what captured my attention was a white distortion just in front of her.
“I-is she…?” I muttered, even as my mind started going into overdrive. ‘Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!’
Nopony had the chance to answer.
We were blinded by an explosion of light. It seemed as if the light had literally shattered into fragments, pink and yellow shining especially strongly on us.
Then, before I could recover, a ripple of air washed over my fur, gently for the first fraction of second. The very next, a noise of thousand thunder rang to my ears, sending a spike of pain right through my brain.
With a cry, I rolled on the ground, hoof and paw covering my ears.
But, as much as I wanted to writhe in agony, my mind kept refocusing on a single thing. ‘OHMYGOD! I JUST WITNESSED A LIVE SONIC RAINBOOM! I CAN TASTE THE RAINBOW!’
No kidding. A light seasoned and complex flavor was filling my mouth at this very moment. One less thing on my to-do list, one more step toward a chance at dying a fulfilled life.
“Ah! Ten. Seconds. Flat.” Oh you lovable braggart that actually back your claims. Why do you torment me so by being that awesome?
“THAT WAS AWESOME!” A shrilled cry of pure ecstasy pierced through the startled atmosphere.
I smiled. ‘Scootaloo…’
“Ohmygosh, Rainbow Dash! You did a Sonic Rainboom with me!” The orange hyperactive filly looked like she could die happy now. That was a good thing as her heart seemed just about ready to explode, or give up, depending on how fast it was beating.
“Anytime, Scoots.” The filly’s idol ruffled her mane, a small smile gracing her lips.
“T-that was incredibly reckless!” Twilight finally found her voice back.
“Indeed. Isn’t that manoeuver incredibly difficult to perform, yet alone with passengers?” Rarity pointed out, letting go of her sister, who immediately ran to her now normal friend.
“Eh, it’s not that big of a deal. I can easily carry a pony with me when doing a Sonic Rainboom.” The pegasus shrugged, then grinned. “I thought you of all pony would know.”
That brought a blush to the unicorn’s cheeks.
“W-well, that is…” She stammered.
“Hum… not that I want to be rude, but that was a little risky.” Fluttershy surprisingly jumped in, saving one of her friend from a potential embarrassment.
Perhaps it was the fact that her oldest friend had called her out on it, but the cyan pegasus shot a conflicted look at Scootaloo, who was discussing what marvelous events had just happened for her and Sweetie Belle.
“W-well, I couldn’t just let Scootaloo hanging, right? I had to do something to bring her back!”
I heard a muffled sob, I was probably the only one that did. The others kept arguing about their latest scuffle, Twilight being probably the most adamant, appearing terribly tired. This was getting a bit nerve racking for me, so I kind of jumped at a legitimate distraction.
I wished I hadn’t.
Applejack was hugging her sister’s life out. Her face was distorted with pure sorrow, tears running down her cheeks.
The filly stayed unresponsive to her sister’s pain, nothing more than a rag doll to get wet with another’s sadness.
“A-Applebloom…” She whispered breathlessly.
“Meh.”
The sight made my insides churn.
Pressure started to crush my ribcage, my chest, with enough strength to paralyze me. I knew that feeling, it was no stranger.
Guilt.
I was fucking guilty of this crap. Them? They’d be fine, doing Apple stuff, being happy, if not for my intervention. Heck, there was no need to look very far. Just a while ago, I distracted them and allowed Discord to run free.
I could only think of one thing: ‘My fault.’
“I…” I retched, nausea stopping the words from coming out of my throat.
It was enough though.
She heard me.
Applejack’s head turned slowly toward me. She did not seem angry, not even sad anymore… just… surprised.
Her eyes fell on me. The green of her iris contrasted with the red lines in her cornea. The trails of wet fur on her face were ugly. She just stared.
I-I… I couldn’t look at her in the eyes. I couldn’t.
With a solemn whispered, I averted my gaze.
“Sorry…”
She roared in rage.
I barely had the time to glance that a pair of orange hooves filled my field of vision. With yet another explosion of pain in my head, I reeled back, lifted from the ground with stars dancing in front of my eyes.
My front legs harshly made contact with the stage again, they slipped a bit.
“YOU! It’s yer fault! This is yer doing!”
Another hit, right into my right shoulder. That limb gave away with the sheer brute strength mustered into that single impact.
That grinding feeling in my shoulder… that was probably the bone being crushed.
“Applejack!” Panicked shrieks echoed on the stage, though they were soon drowned out by Applejack’s accusations.
“CHANGE HER BACK!” Pain. “GET HER BACK TO NORMAL!” More pain. “GIVE MAH LIL’ SISTER BACK!”
I could honestly say I was not able to move when the blows stopped. Things were just a blur of colors; words were nothing more than echoed muffled sounds.
There was some orange, flanked by blue and yellow. White and lavender weren’t far, but there was a touch of a subtle light on top of their silhouettes. Pink was bouncing a bit, and, if I were to guess, it was talking a lot. Orange slowed down to a halt.
Something hot and liquid slid off my shoulder. Was I going to bleed out…?
T-that was probably for the best.
That brought on a mental snicker. Sad, isn’t it? It would do a lot of good for this world if I just stopped breathing. I could not honestly deny I deserved it.
I took a bit of comfort in the knowledge that at least a little bit of justice had been served. The liquid falling off my side was just proof of that.
“Hummmm… caramel!” Someone cheerfully proclaimed, right into my ears.
The interruption was so bizarre I blinked in surprise.
“W-whu-” I rasped, before breaking into a coughing fit.
“Ooooooh, that sounds like you’ve got a bad cold. But worry not, I’ve got the solution to your troubles.” Okay, only one pony could be that ridiculously peppy. “Caramel! And lucky you, you’re covered in the stuff!”
T-that’s when something even weirder happened.
Reality snapped back into place.
NOT. KIDDING!
Like elastic stretched too far apart, every single one of my senses snapped back into their full capacity, while my suffering quietly died out.
“Whuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…?” The sound just escaped my lips. It would not stop.
“Yeah, Applejack crashed you into a column and it oozed all over you.”
“…uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut?”
Oh dear, it was true. My coat was sticking to my skin tightly, with my wings not faring much better. It was as if I was stuck in a suit much too small for my size.
“You’re covered in all this sugary goodness! Look at you, it’s perfect! Mrs. Cake tried to get the perfect caramel before, but it came just an itty bitty inch away from perfection and we were so disappointed and it was sooooo gooooooooooood before and this looks even better and…”
Something wet and red hit me in the face.
Yeah, I had an idea of what it was. That just couldn’t be possible. That little squeal of delight I could hear was a hallucination.
“So good!” Pinkie trembled with ecstasy.
Brain broke.
Please wait a second for a reboot.
“P-Pinkie, dear, what are you doing?” Rarity stared, blushing.
“Licking the goodies on him!”
‘Is this actually happening?’ I thought, staring into the pink fur inches away from me.
At this distance, I could easily dissect her scent. Cotton candy and cinnamon, mostly.
Blood rushed to my face.
“I think he’d appreciated if your tongue stayed in your mouth, Pinkie.” Twilight deadpanned, her cheeks colored a nice dark purple.
“Oh. No licking?” The pink mare looked taken aback for a second. She leaned closer to me, wearing the same expression she had when resolving that mystery with the cake and the three bakers. Namely, she was observing me from every angle.
‘Well, this is uncomfortable…’
“There!” Pinkie pointed, before engulfing my horn in her mouth. And sucking the caramel lingering on it.
...
Oh dear, would you look at that? The sun has been moved closer to Equestria because it’s HOT AS HELL HERE!
And it kept getting hotter with every single stunned look I was receiving from Pinkie’s friends.
In order, Fluttershy was hiding her face away behind her hooves, Applejack’s jaw was hanging, Twilight looked about ready to pass out, knees wobbling, Rarity was covering her sister’s eyes, but stared at us almost hungrily.
Oh, and Rainbow Dash had a smug grin to end all smug grins.
Heat. So much heat. Breathing was getting harder again.
‘So that’s what it’s like to die of embarrassment…’ I thought toward the fuzziness in my brain. ‘Come and take me, sweet sweet DARKNESS!’
“Oooooh, that is so good !” Pinkie moaned breathlessly, before getting another taste of the caramel.
My eyes widened, and my mind as strangely as it was, made the association immediately. My whole body felt like it was on fire.
In my upper back, I felt a strange stiffness. Right on the level of my shoulders, where my wings were attached, uncomfortably rigid…
“You have got to be kidding me,” I groaned, seeing Rainbow Dash start laughing.
“Oh my,” came the soft voice of a certain yellow pegasus. W-was she peeking behind her hooves?
“He’s got a…” She said between two intakes of air, pointing at me.
“Rainbow Dash, my dear.” Rarity talked clearly, even if her voice hitched up when Pinkie moaned. “If you finish that sentence within earing range of my sister, you might end up with a very unfashionable haircut tomorrow morning.”
“But he…” She tried again, this time stopping because a lavender hoof had been put into her mouth.
“Forget Rarity. If you make this more awkward than it already is, I’m finding a way to dye your coat pink. Permanently.”
Twilight was pointedly ignoring me. Celestia bless her! You know, more than she already did.
“Oooooh, that hit the spot.” Pinkie finally stopped putting me through all sorts of heavenly and hellish places and bounced back to her friends.
We aimed a diverse plethora of glares at her.
“What? I’ve been hungry since we visited Mr. and Mrs. Cake.”
“There is a time for everything, Pinkie.” Twilight gritted her teeth, waving a hoof in front of her face, as if to refresh the air around her face.
Now, since I had obviously pissed off more than one force of natures by being me in a previous life, things went downhill. Even more.
“Hey, dude, you wouldn’t happen to have a cigarette?” I heard a male voice from my right. “After this kind of show, I need a smoke.”
My eye twitch.
I glanced to my right, at the crowd. The crowd of ponies. The crowd of ponies all staring at me. The crowd of ponies all staring at me with varying expressions of smugness and lewdness.
Thirty-seven percent of me died on the spot. The rest started to experience a slow agony.
“Huuuuh… O-okay… hah…” I exhaled too strongly, trying to kill off the laugh bubbling up in my throat. “I… I… just give me a second…”
Brain unraveling into a broken mess, I did the only thing I could think of.
I screamed!
The following scene was extracted from the official Royal Canterlot records, cannot be distributed outside of the library and its content must not be divulged to outsiders. Offenders will be prosecuted and risk facing punishments reserved for traitors against the crown.
This scene was reconstructed from the memories of Prince Polaris Leon Blueblood, nephew of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, third in line for the throne of Canterlot.
The unicorn stallion’s gaze left the written orders he was about to give for the defense of the city, eyes narrowed in suspicion.
No pony shared the air of his office at the moment, none that could be seen at least. But then…
“My goodness, what is this ghastly noise?”
I ran out of breath.
“T-there… better… much better…” I panted.
Blocking the memory of this had been immensely satisfying. For me. The Mane Six were all very tense, their posture changed for battle. Well, except Applejack, she was being held by her tail by Rainbow Dash (oh the irony…), snarling at me.
“Lemme go at him!” Applejack yelled.
Annnnnd my humiliation was placed into the background again, to be replaced by that same freaking overwhelming guilt. Even then though, I was pretty sure I was still red in the face… beneath my fur I mean.
“S-sorry!” I practically shouted again. “I-I just had to do something to let out the te-…”
“Tension?” Rarity suggested with an unimpressed glare.
Oh dear, my face just exploded with heat…
“I was going to say something else that could not be interpreted as an innuendo…” I cringed, looking away, into the crowd of zombies watching with dull interest.
“Sorry, darling, try again.” The white unicorn frowned, still covering Sweetie Belle’s ears and eyes. The poor thing was blind and deaf.
“I’d rather not…” I took a few steps back, in the hopes of putting some distance between myself and the mares.
When more than half of them look very pissed off with you, it was more than time to try a peaceful tactical retreat.
“OH NO YOU DON’T!” Applejack screamed, almost escaping Rainbow’s grip.
I was crouched low on the ground, making myself as small as possible. I really didn’t want to come in conflict with the girls anymore.
“I-I don’t want… I never wished for…” I opened my mouth and closed it, not a sound escaping. “I just want him g-gone… I hate him.”
Twilight stepped forward. “Then help us. Or at least, stop interfering!”
“I didn’t do that on purpose…” I gave a weak laugh, but it clearly did not win them over.
“Well, here’s the time you make a choice,” she argued. “You can show who you wish to side with now.”
A bubble of relief burst through my worries. T-they were going to give me a chance. It was like eating a cupcake all over again. It made my lips twitched.
I gave her a completely honest and probably the brightest smile she could have seen all day. “I want to help you.”
“Yeeepeee!” Pinkie jumped in the air, confetti flying around her. “Havoc joined the party! And I do mean party !”
“Yes, Pinkie.” Her unicorn friend rolled her eyes. “But let’s focus on what he can do for us. Havoc!” She called, her voice clashing like a whip.
My attention was instantly fully focused on her. “Yes?”
“Do you know where we can find your father?”
My eye twitched. Oooooh, that was a tough and bitter pill to swallow.
“I… think I do.” I looked away.
All six mares immediately leaned forward, eagerly waiting for me to elaborate.
“It’s huh…” I stopped, my ears twirling around, to my right. “Is that… screaming?”
“Don’t try to weasel yer way outta…” The cowpony started snarling, but stopped too.
Soon, every pony on the stage was looking around, trying to find the source of the noise, all the while we were slowly growing more afraid of what it might turn out to be.
As it turned out, it was Twilight who spotted the threat first.
“LOOK OUT!”
The impact blew me away, literally.
I saw the sky, the ground, various ponies, the sky again, in various successions, for a few very disorienting seconds, before a line tugged at my chest. With a push, everything came together, except for this incredible vertigo making my eyes spin in a cartoony manner.
“Buddy, you have got to stop flying like this!” I heard a familiar voice inches away from me. “You just knocked somepony! You could have injured him or yourself!”
Oh, Thunderlane. C-cool… now if you’ll excuse me – you and Rumble who I see has nice swirly eyes – pal, I was in the middle of a reveal there.
I turned my head toward what I thought were the girls, when I realized the wind brushing my coat was not just a random chaotic special effect. We were flying away or, more accurately, I was being carried away by a golden, flashing, music emitting pegasus colt.
Crap, crap, crap, crap! Their figures were shrinking away and fast! I had to tell them.
“REMEMBER! TWISTS AND TURNS ARE HIS MASTER PLAN, FIN-”
An abrupt turbulence made me jolt upward, a knot in the rope driving itself further into my stomach. Needless to say, my scream was cut short.
Before I could recover, we were already out of their range.
But hey, my screaming got the black pegasus’ attention, even if he was doing his best to stop his out-of-control bro, so I guess that was something.
“…What was that all about?” Thunderlane asked, still desperately fighting back his overpowered kid brother and failing.
“Oh, I just said the first thing that crossed my mind.” I shrugged, keeping a firm grasp on the rope pulling at my midsection. “I’m trying to get into Discord’s head, you see.”
“First pony I meet that would want that,” he deadpanned.
“Eh, I’m a mostly superficial pony. It’s kind of skin deep.”
“I seriously have no idea what you’re saying.” He grunted, his face crunched up by the effort.
“Me neither. Story of my life. Most of it, anyway.” I shrugged, deciding to go with a zen attitude.
Rumble, ever the hyperactive superpowered glowing pegasus colt, took a sharp turn, the backlash of which cut my breath for a second.
“W-where are we going anyway?” I asked, after a moment’s contemplation.
“I have no idea.”
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
Off the track with shenanigans
You see, after a certain number of minutes of absolutely useless struggle, Thunderlane and I reached the agreement that there would be no stopping the out-of-control Rumble. In fact, once he ran out of juice, the kid would need at least one full grown stallion capable of flying to catch him, preferably one that had not wasted all his energy on a pointless endeavor.
Thunderlane was understandably shocked when I had made that well thought-out observation.
“Okay, so now that we have established that Rumble is currently flying toward the Everfree Forest, what do we do?” I asked, doing a bit of sight-seeing from this aerial point of view.
So pretty. Green and black foliage scrolled down before my eyes, in varying shades of dark and creepy. It brought a smile to my lips.
His eyes narrowed and he stared right at me. “You want to explain to me what’s going on, exactly?”
Aaaaand there goes the smile.
“Oh, my bad,” I said soberly. “I inadvertently released Discord from his prison.”
His hoof collided with my face. This was getting a bit too common for my tastes. Couldn’t a crazed man-pony-thing just go on his merry way without ponies socking him in the face all the time? Was that really so hard?
“Now, give me a good reason I should not do it again,” Thunderlane grabbed my wings and pulled me close. I could see the fury quite well at this distance.
“Honestly? I don’t have any other reasons that it hurts.” I pouted. “You’ve got a mean right hook, you know?”
He gave me a savage grin. “Yeah, I know.”
“Meh.” I shrugged in a spot-on imitation of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “It happened. T’was an accident. I got screwed over by that, like, a bazillion times already.”
For a moment, his stare hardened and a brief spark of fear went through my body. In anticipation, I closed my eyes and braced myself for another hit.
To be honest, I did not expect him to let go like he did.
“Huh?”
“What’s the point?” Thunderlane sighed. “We’re both being dragged around the sky by my little brother. And I remembered your thing about not being exhausted when he’ll stop.”
A violent thug from the rope all but confirmed the veracity of his words.
I shot a hesitative glance at the colt, who was still brightly flashing a golden light. The smile on his face was so stretched it was a bit scary actually.
When I turned back to Thunderlane, I saw he was also staring at Rumble, though his face betrayed a deep sadness.
I could not help it. I giggled.
…
Oh boy, if I thought he was pissed before, I was sadly mistaken. You could say I was dead wrong.
‘Well, there goes my fangs. And I was starting to appreciate them more. They were useful when I had to bite things.’
“Not what you’re thinking,” I blurted out, eyes wide and trying to look as apologetic as possible.
“What. Was. It. Then?” He was so close I could feel his breath on my eyes, as he loomed over me with a dark expression on his face.
“I was thinking the Everfree Forest is green.”
“You expect me to belie-”
“Why is it still green?” I cut him off, much like Madam Bucket had once done to me. I tried to be perfectly calm and neutral, but it came out as deceptively happy. “I mean, the sky is orange, the grass around Ponyville was crimson… Look! It’s like a normal forest from here.”
At my words, I saw his eyes widen and his anger get washed away by an uncharacteristic thoughtfulness. Okay, that was mean, but I was actually surprised here. I had always classified him as a stallion of action.
“Something’s not right here,” he muttered, staring at the forest beneath us.
“Yeah, I figured.” I nodded. “It’s like Discord’s magic did not reach this place or it didn’t affect it. How crazy is that?”
Thunderlane stayed silent. He just gave me a look, as if I was a moron.
…Oh. Right.
“Well, that’s that.” I shrugged. No use getting worked up against a mostly generalized conception at this point, though the least I could do would be to change the subject. “How have you been? Still trying to get into Berry Punch’s pants?”
The black stallion stuttered like crazy. Oh, and he blushed too.
“W-what?! How’d you…?” He stopped mid panicked question, before staring at me harshly. “How do you know that?”
That made me chuckle.
“Come on, you two practically ate each other’s faces the last time I saw you two!” I rolled my eyes. Crazy, yes, but not blind.
Thunderlane seemed to think I had grown a second head now. At least, that’s what his face told me.
“…The buck are you talking about? I never met you before today!”
“Huh?” I blinked. “Ooooooh, right, time traveling and a possessed Caramel. How the heck did I manage to forget that?”
Third head. Fourth head too, if I was not misreading the look he was sending my way. In his mind eyes, I probably started looking like a hydra. Awesome!
“Are you, by any chance, an escapee from the mental ward just around the block?” Called it.
“I can’t say I am.” I grinned, considering myself lucky this was actually true.
Thunderlane let out a sigh of relief.
“But then again, I reckon I will be once this adventure is over.”
“For the love of buck!” He facehoofed, his voice hitting a chord as it seemed genuinely bothered. “I hit a mentally ill pony.”
I yawned, stretching my front legs over my head and setting myself more comfortable in the loop the rope made around my torso. “If it makes you feel better, so did one of the Elements of Harmony.”
It was Thunderlane’s turn to grin now. “Well, that’s pretty interesting.”
I was about to reply, but then a jolt in the rope made us both cringe, as some knots drove themselves into our bodies. The ball that was pressing against my lungs did not help me speak.
“Rumble, buddy!” The black stallion turned toward his little brother, a frown on his face. For a second, he looked as if he wanted to reprimand him, but any annoyance quickly slid off his expression. “C-can’t you…?”
His voice broke.
‘Aw hell…’ I thought, lowering my head.
And that’s why I saw it.
“BOULDER!” I shouted.
Thunderlane’s head whipped around and his whole body became stiff as a rock. He saw – I knew he saw – the round, brownish sphere cutting through the air. Its silhouette was slowly growing bigger and with each inch it was growing, my heart was beating that much faster.
“RUMBLE, DIVE!” The other stallion yelled, pulling at his little brother’s hind legs.
My whole body seemed to lurch, to jump up my throat with the sudden turn. The world spun on its head, my eyes now fixed on a few cotton candy clouds. They seemed to be holding a conversation over the weather pattern they wanted to adopt.
Fascinating.
“Duck!” Thunderlane’ hooves pressed on my head.
A large shadow passed over us and a small draft of air stroke my fur, right as the boulder flew less than a meter away from our bodies.
We watched the thing continue its arc toward another part of the forest, perhaps longer than we should have. “Phew, that was a close one.”
“Yeah.”
An awkward silence fell between us. We were sort of stuck a bit together and no, our legs were not touching, but still. I was not very comfortable here.
“Hum… yeah…” Thunderlane grimaced and fiddled with one of his wings. “So, huh… you’re new around here?”
“Sorta… I’ve been here before…”
“No you haven’t. I think somepony would have noticed a weird half-pony hybrid before!”
“Look, it happened in another reality, but it was still here, okay?” I crossed my front legs and gave him a look, which he returned with a frown, until…
“Crazy dude,” he said, his eyes lighting up with understanding, and made a snapping noise with his hoof (…what?). “Got it.”
“This shouldn’t bother me at this point, but it does.” I tried not to, but I started pouting again.
Every time I told the truth, ponies were calling me crazy. They were right, but for the wrong reasons. That just got on my nerves to no end. If I had been perfectly sane and told them what I told them, would they still try to intern me? That was a sobering thought.
I opened my mouth to make an acidic comment on it, but Thunderlane beat me to it.
“Hey, is it just me or is Rumble still flying downward?” His voice was so controlled I wondered if he was even trying.
Slowly, I scratched the back of my head and shot a glance at our surroundings. “Well, the clouds are behind us, so…”
“And the trees are easier to make out than earlier…” He added, very casual about this.
“The rope is pushing us down…” I tried to flex a wing, without any success.
“So… we’re about to crash into the Everfree Forest?”
“Looks like it.”
That was about the moment we started screaming like fillies.
The following scene was extracted from the official Royal Canterlot records, cannot be distributed outside of the library and its content must not be divulged to outsiders. Offenders will be prosecuted and risk facing punishments reserved for traitors against the crown.
“You have got to be kidding me…” Rainbow Dash’s eye twitch as the crazy stallion-thing was swept aside by the supercharged colt.
“What? Why are you surprised? It’s obvious that you can’t have the big reveal right away before the story is over! Think of all the fans that will be disappointed!” Pinkie Pie jumped to her friend’s side, motioning to the audience of mesmerized ponies.
“Hum… fans?” Fluttershy shot a nervous glance around her.
“Yeah, fans from all around the world! We can’t give them the impression it was a rip-off!” The pink mare threw her hooves in the air. “Imagine their pain!”
“T-that’s so sad…” Fluttershy’s eyes drooped.
“Ah dun’t wanna hear any of this stuff right now, Pinkie!” Applejack’s voice rang loud and clear. It seemed a bit scary how intense her gaze had gotten. “Twi! You heard what that son of a-?”
“Applejack, dear!” Rarity yelled, scandalized.
“Ah stand by my words.” She turned to her other unicorn friend, whose brows were furrowed together. “So, ye heard him, right?”
“I did.” Twilight nodded, staring into space. “Twist and turns are his master plan, fin… something. Ring a bell?”
“That’s what Discord said the last time he was free!” Rainbow Dash blew out hot air from her nostrils. “If I can get my hooves on him…”
“I have the feeling you will need to wait your turn, dear.”
The pegasus would have replied, hotly, that she would not wait for somepony else to do her job. She would have , had her eyes not fallen on Applejack, who was stroking her little sister’s mane.
The mare’s expression was set in stone. Had she not known her friend, she might have been scared. As it stood, only a chill went down her spine. Nothing more!
“D-d-does that mean he is… in the labyrinth… back in Canterlot?” Fluttershy asked, her voice even quieter than usual. It had been her idea to search the trickster spirit in Ponyville. If they had lost so much time because of her…
“No, I don’t think that’s what it means, Fluttershy,” the lavender unicorn replied, looking at the sky and trying to sort her thoughts. “Back then, it was a misleading statement so we would be…”
Her voice trailed off and none of her friends had the courage to complete her sentence. They did not want to relive that memory.
“A-anyway!” Twilight cleared her throat and continued nervously. “The Elements were in the books where I had first heard of them.”
“Oh, yeah, I remember that!” Pinkie giggled. “There was a double meaning to that clue too.”
“A double meaning, dear?” Rarity tilted her head slightly, confused as to her friend’s words.
“Can ye keep those tidbits to yerself?! We’re in the middle of something here!” Applejack snapped.
Both mares fell silent and the fillies just a few feet away started to feel quite uncomfortable with the farmer’s short-fuse. The two’s liveliness toned down a bit, for fear they would get a tongue lashing as well.
“…In any case, I think we ought to look around the library.”
A big fat “That’s your answer to EVERYTHING!” floated on Rainbow Dash’s lips, but she ultimately held it in.
“Alright, let’s go.” Applejack stepped off the stage, all to her mission. She was going to end this if it killed her.
“Right behind you,” Rarity said, pausing just a moment to give Sweetie Belle a nudge and whispering for her to hide somewhere safe.
She realized she was being terribly unfair about this to her friend, as luck stood that her own sister did not carry Discord’s plague anymore, but, truly, no forces in this world could have stopped her from giving her precious Sweetie Belle a little bit of comfort.
“Yeepee! We’re getting to the main events!” Pinkie jumped off stage, into the stretched legs of the crowd.
Applejack glanced at her friend, who seemed to be extremely amused by the wavy feeling of being carried away unevenly. Her body was almost stretching in impossible ways, but she credited that on the generally chaotic atmosphere that had overridden Ponyville.
“Come on, girls! We gotta find Discord!” Rainbow Dash, who had taken to flying over Pinkie Pie, waved at her remaining friends on the stage.
“Of course,” Twilight said, looking away and biting her lips.
“Twilight?” She heard Fluttershy’s quiet voice, but simply shook her head and stepped off the stage as well.
“We have a mission to complete. This can wait…”
“Tell me that wasn’t your stomach, please.” Thunderlane stopped and groaned.
“…Well…” I looked away, feeling a powerful urge to whistle innocently.
“DUDE!” The black pegasus rammed his head into the nearest tree. “You just ate a squirrel! You told me you were full.”
“I-I was…” I fiddled with a rock on the ground, who, by the way, was covered in thick grass and dead leaves. “I’m just hungry again.”
“Too bad!” His face crunched up and his gaze grew severe. “We’re not staying any time more than we need to in this forest, especially not to let you hunt .”
I tilted my head to the side and rolled on my back, for a better perspective of his face. Yes, he was pissed. Moving on. “You know, I expected you to freak out more at seeing me bite an animal’s head off.”
‘Not to mention I should probably freak out a lot more at the feeling of a brain going down my throat. That’s sorta like zombies, except I was aiming for the eyes, but got the brain, then the rest of the body for good measure. Is it creepy that I licked my paw and hooves clean of the blood that had sullied them? Or it’s just the part where I almost fangasmed over it?’
“Well, the little prick had it coming after trying to lure us into a pack of sleeping timberwolves and playing with that balloon.” He muttered, shifting one wing to adjust the unconscious Rumble on his back. His other wing trembled, but did not move. At all. “Plus, I’m a pegasus, I worked in Cloudsdale and there are griffons around that place.”
I blinked. “Sounds logical to me.”
“Okay, I will need to be more explicit next time I want to explain something so obvious.” Thunderlane rolled his eyes, though his grin was rather mocking.
“Hey! That was just mean!” I shouted, getting back on my hooves and frowning.
“No, mean is pretending to fall in a patch of Poison Jokes and scream,” Thunderlane grumbled and started walking again.
“I wasn’t pretending, I really fell!” I ran after him, nervous at the prospect of being alone in this forest of doom. “And that scream was unintentional.”
“Dude, it lasted twenty-three seconds!”
“I was holding a conversation with some friends in my head at the time, I just didn’t realize I was still in the middle of a scream.”
“See?” He jabbed a hoof into my shoulder. “This is exactly why I think you’re screwing with me.”
“I’m serious. ” I felt a growl build up at the back of my throat. It was pushing to come out and be freed. That in itself felt perfectly normal, it was the desire to bite through some ponies that made me sick.
“Whatever. Either way, it’s scary.”
Some branches cracked under our hooves at that moment. It made us both cringe and stop.
Crunch.
Oh dear… was that another branch being stepped on? Close to us? Without either Thunderlane or myself moving?
‘Yes, to all three, my dear.’
‘Thank you, Madam Bucket. See you in the afterlife in a moment.’ I chuckled.
‘Oh, I believe you will find it lovely there. Stan the great janitor regularly makes rounds to see if any one of us is missing anything in your perfect paradise.’
‘You know, that sounds like one of these things that is great on paper but kind of annoying in person, no?’
‘…Why did you destroy my idea of paradise? I trusted you!’ The imaginary bucket started crying.
My ears drooped. ‘S-sorry, Madam Bucket. I really did not mean to taint your eternal rest!’
‘What good is that now?! I will always be annoyed at his kindness from now on!’ She wailed.
“Huh, Dude?” A black hoof passed in front of my eyes. The insufferable screams faded as my attention focused on that new voice.
“What?” I turned around.
Thunderlane was staring, seemingly equally concerned and pissed off. “You spaced out after that squirrel climbed that tree.”
I glanced in the direction his hoof showed and got sight of some movements in the foliage overhead. “Oh.”
“Now that you’re semi-conscious of your surroundings again, can we move on? I’d rather not stay in the Everfree Forest with Rumble on my back any longer than I need to.”
I nodded and, a surge of bubbliness hitting me, I smiled. Something about the Everfree Forest made me want to goof around.
“…Let’s go then.” Thunderlane muttered, glancing at my completely normal attitude before shaking his head and walking away. Of course, I followed him.
The nervous side of me wanted to talk, to babble and kill the stress with a normal conversation, but something held me back. T-the air in the Everfree Forest was heavy; it seemed harder to push forward, but, in reality, it wasn’t. The light never truly filtered through the endless green of the leaves above and this perpetual darkness wore down what little courage I had left.
There were whispers carried by the wind, but no wind. There were shadows but nothing to project them. There were eyes glowing in the darkness, then only darkness.
I was starting to understand why the Everfree Forest was so universally feared.
My coat was starting to stand on its ends. I probably appeared like a puff ball.
“Gee, relax.” Thunderlane sighed, clearly getting tired of this arrangement. “We can handle ourselves, or at least, I can.”
For some reason, that made me feel better. I could not tell why, but those words tugged at a heartstring inside and images of a man – yes, a human – flashed before my eyes. No idea who that was, but I liked him. I knew I did. He made me feel... safe.
All to my smiles and this warmth in my chest, I failed to notice the abrupt leveling of the ground.
The familiar weightlessness of a fall came back to me, lightening my limbs for the briefest of moment, before some pain spread in my wings and my shoulder. The speed carried me further, down a hill, with me only able to see the world spin rapidly and nothing more.
My face took the brunt of the next hit, namely the ground.
With dirt sticking up in on my cheeks and my chin, I tried to shake it off, but my eyes fell on an odd sight.
Behind me, I heard some sliding and pebbles rolled down close to me. They were accompanied by a pair of black hooves and an actually concerned voice.
“Holy crap! Dude, are you okay?!”
“SHHHHHH!” I hushed really loudly, my nerves interfering with the volume I wanted to use.
He blinked. “Huh?”
“Don’t talk!” I hissed, grabbing him with my griffon paw and pulling him down to the ground.
“Hey!”
“Will you shut up?!” I snapped, shaking with fear.
It was this, the unnerving fear that laced my body language that must have convinced him to stop.
“What is it?” He whispered, trying to spot the horror that was making me feel so cold and vulnerable.
“Over there.” I pointed.
The other stallion scanned the woods, looking between the trunks and the bushes. It took a minute, with me growing increasingly reckless.
“What is it? I only see a chicken.” He narrowed his eyes further, squinting to see whatever threat I had detected, but my silence clued him in. “…You’re kidding me, right?”
“It’s a chicken that lives in the Everfree Forest! It’s got a nest ! Look! How can it survive?! Either it was lucky as all get out or it’s a chicken that isn’t a chicken!”
“Okay, now, you’re just wasting everypony’s time. That chicken is a chicken and I will prove it to you.”
“No, no, no, no, no…”
The following scene was extracted from the official Royal Canterlot records, cannot be distributed outside of the library and its content must not be divulged to outsiders. Offenders will be prosecuted and risk facing punishments reserved for traitors against the crown.
The situation seemed dire, grim. For some rational ponies, if there had been any left except the Bearers, panic would have been an appropriate response and cries of “The horror! The horror!” would have echoed. As it stood though, the only one crying foul was the bearer of the Element of Generosity.
“Applejack!” She screamed, horn flaring with a blue aura. “Control your gorgeous brother!”
“Ye think this is easy?!” The cowmare grunted, her whole body shaking from the effort of restraining her older brother. Her words were almost unheard of under the mad barking of the red stallion.
“It certainly is funny though!” Pinkie giggled, pulling on Big Macintosh’s ears. “Look! He’s almost like a bunny like this! He doesn’t seem to mind either!”
Her bubbliness reached none of her friends though. They were too preoccupied with stopping a disaster in the making. None of them knew if Ponyville could survive, but they would rather not take their chances.
“Hum… Opal?” Fluttershy asked timidly, flying to eye level with the giant cat. “W-we know that you do not appreciate being yelled at, like everyone else, but we’d be really happy if you were willing to just run away?”
The poor filly was almost blown away by the following hiss.
“OPAL!” Her mistress screeched, scandalized. “Where are your manners?! That is no way to treat Fluttersh-Kyah!”
With a violent shake of her head, the vicious creature made her mistress tumbled off her. With a not-so-gracious yelp, Rarity crashed to the ground. Her usually well-groomed and cared-for mane lost its lustrous shine, covered in dirt instead.
“OPAL! MAMA’S NOT HAPPY!” She screamed, turning around with flaring eyes, only to see a giant paw and a growing shadow.
A cyan blur flew right into her, lifting her off the ground and out of reach of the maddened disproportional animal. Whereas she expected the impact to cut her breath, the manoeuver had been careful enough for Rarity to feel it like a breeze.
“Be more careful around your crazy vicious cat, Rarity! Remember that Discord did something to her if she’s this big.” Rainbow Dash sensibly reminded her unicorn friend, surprising even herself.
Her words fell in deaf ears though. “Oooooh, that young lady is getting the Extra-Shine Miaou Mix instead of the Royal-luxury Special, FOR. A. WHOLE. WEEK!”
With a roll of her eyes, Rainbow Dash decided that ignoring her friend’s following rant would be for the best. At least as far as her nerves were concerned.
Just as she prepared to join in back on the fray – which would not be too much as Big Mac had broken away from the earth pony mares holding him back and was now fighting a purple magic field –, the pegasus’ gaze happened to fall on a rather peculiar scene.
Three little fillies were enjoying the sight from high up on a balcony. Well, to be more accurate, one of them seem to enjoy it greatly, lying on her throne like that, but the other two did not seem quite as happy. Their expressions were grim and their movements were hampered by chains and shackles.
Distracted, Dash stared as the filly on the throne, a beige coated earth pony with a red mane, violently threw a glass of juice at the head of a pink earth filly. The poor girl trembled and shook, lying on the ground in pain.
The second chained filly stepped forward almost immediately, placing herself, as Rainbow Dash realized, between her abused friend and their tormentor.
“More fruits in the next one…” She bowed her gray head and spoke respectfully, albeit with a slight tremor in her voice. “Yes, of course, my Queen!”
The filly on the throne dismissed her with a hoof and sipped on another glass of juice almost immediately, enjoying the shade of a parasol and the wind produced by a magical autonomous fan.
“RAINBOW DASH! A LITTLE HELP PLEASE!”
Startled, the pegasus dove into the fray again. “Why are we the only ones that need to go through this kind of crap?!”
“OH CELESTIA, IT BUUUUUUUURNS!”
Part of me wanted to say ‘I told you so’, but that was silenced by the pants-soiling terror I felt at the grotesque spectacle before my eyes. So I tried to keep the hyena laugher to a minimum.
It did not work.
“IT’S EATING MY SOUL! …WHY?!”
A small prayer went to thank the benevolent one that convinced Thunderlane to leave Rumble with me.
“AND FOR BUCK’S SAKE, STOP LAUGHING, YOU FREAK!”
The following scene was extracted from the official Royal Canterlot records, cannot be distributed outside of the library and its content must not be divulged to outsiders. Offenders will be prosecuted and risk facing punishments reserved for traitors against the crown.
“AHHHHHHH, THE APPLE’S APPLES ARE ATTACKING! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!” Three mares ran past the bearers,
“You know, for a while, I expected that to happen sooner…” Pinkie remarked, humming to herself.
“Is that a bad thing?” Fluttershy asked quietly.
“No…” Twilight sighed. Her eyes focused on Applejack’s family produces, her horn started glowing intensively. With a stern and completely serious voice, she only said. “It means I had the time to extrapolate the best method to deal with this.”
“Not. A. Word.”
Never before had someone pronounced words with such raw venom. In the history of the universe, they were the very worst. And they stemmed from a pal that had been proven oh so wrong about the innocuousness of a chicken.
Whoa, it was almost like the Universe had chosen another being as the target of its torments. The poor guy…
Still, I respected his wish and only patted his shoulder, the one not horribly burned. It made him cringe, but he forged on, pushing his legs to carry him forward, to the edge of this forest of doom.
We could see the light beyond the outline of the trees. It was already lighting up this part of the forest.
Rumble, still unconscious and still weighting down on my back, stirred.
“Buddy?” Thunderlane asked, detecting the reaction as soon as it had happened.
For sole reply, the little colt’s movements came to a halt. He would not wake up yet.
“Darn… he must have really hurt his head back then.” I grimaced, knowing firsthand how painful a crash could be and well…
Rumble had flown headfirst into a tree trunk. Luckily, he was still glowing golden light at the time. Unfortunately, he also stopped glowing and just fell unconscious immediately afterward.
“Y-yeah…” Thunderlane stared at his brother again, voice thick with emotion.
“Eh, don’t worry,” I said, grinning and dancing on my hooves. “Nopony dies on Discord’s watch. Corpses are not very entertaining, or so he says… The comatose? Maybe?”
For a second, a chill went down my spine. It was as if a slab of ice had been grinded against my back. The pure anger and the raw disgust in the air had a nauseating property. It came from Thunderlane’s direction.
Beads of sweat running down the side of my face, I dared not glance at him, for fear he unleashed that on me.
Silence fell again.
We marched without exchanging another word. The hatred emanating from my companion would not subdue and he pulverized the one monster that tried to block his way. After that, I cautiously slowed down so as not to lose sight of him…
I was the one to breathe a sigh of relief when we broke through the cover of the Everfree Forest.
The difference was like night and day. Fresh pure air caressed our fur and stroked our manes. The sun’s heat radiated to us. The orange sky was like a…
…I had no real description for the orange sky, and the fuschia grass wasn’t a much bigger source of inspiration. It was just weird.
‘W-why are you looking at me like that, Janet Greatlol?’ I blinked at the tall figure of that particular imaginary friend.
‘No reason. At all. And remember, I’m not sarcastic...’
I grinned. That was easy. ‘Because you told me, right, I remember that.’
Thunderlane, on the other hoof, did not seem very pleased with our location. His eyes had widened at an unusual sight.
“I-is that a crater?”
Those words jugged at my memory. Like the proverbial sledgehammer or the hooves of an indignant big brother, it collided with my head and gave me vertigo. Images flashed before my eyes, those of a great, kind ru-
“PRINCESS CELESTIA!”
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
We managed to get Celestia to a hospital rather quickly. As soon as he had realized what had conspired, Thunderlane had been adamant and particularly devoted to that cause. The devotion he had put into it, into helping me carry the princess while he was also carrying his little brother, that had been really impressive.
It breathed new respect for him in me. Clearly, of the two of us, he had been the one less healthy, what’s with his broken wing to my… my what exactly?
I had been injured multiple times already, only for these wounds and these broken bones to just… disappear? I… I had sensed a… a pattern, maybe, but that was still worrying.
Or maybe I was crazy. I was standing around, being worried. Worried about what exactly? A healing factor? Yeah, I’d take it, even over the fiery explosions and the Sonic Rainboom levels of speed.
I groaned. Why was I going on about this stuff? T-things weren’t so clear in my head anymore.
That, at the very least, was scary.
“Y-you know… I’m not one of your little ponies, Princess…” I said, casually because I was alone in the hospital room. Thunderlane had gotten Rumble in a bed somewhere and the staff… well…
I could hear the shrieks of monsters that ran into the staff. Just know that the words "rubber gloves" and "thermometers" should not be so terrifying. No… no more details will be given about those…
The splashing sound of blood and the gurgling, bubbling, popping noises that kept ringing to my ears were already far too much. A strong thundering sound generally followed… it was akin to a motor. There were chains and dents involved.
“Hum… yeah, I was saying… I’m not a pony, Princess, and I don’t mean my looks. I am… was… a human. Do you know those? I’m not quite sure…”
Silence. No other sound than the echo of my ten voices.
“It’s… it’s really a bad story, actually, or at least one that was kicked off by my stupidity…” I said, lowering my head. My forehead touched the bedframe. It was cool to the touch.
“I could have said ‘no’. He might not have accepted my refusal, but I would have done the right thing… that’s what important, right?” An invisible pressure starting squeezing my throat. It made it harder for me to talk. I kept going, I just choked more often. “I-I… I always tried to do that, but… I’m kind of greedy. I want things. I want to be happy and I let that interfere. I-is that so bad of me?”
The gracious, regal, figure in the bed did not respond. The alicorn was still unconscious. Her mane was still dull and lifeless.
“I’m sorry.” I choked and my eyes started to sting. “I don’t know if I can say that enough, Princess Celestia. I freed him, because I did not want to have blood on my hands, bu-but now it’s even worse!”
There was no reaction, not even a stir.
“Everything makes sense to me now, and I know it’s not because I’m getting better! I-I just laugh at things so I don’t have to cry. Or I don’t cry when it hurts, ‘cause that’s not how it works. And then there’s the stuff I say that ponies tell me is wrong and crazy, but it just makes sense to me and I don’t understand anymore. But even to me, even to me, you being in such a pitiful state just HITS THE WRONG CHORD!”
‘Please, Princess. Just move or twitch or stir… Just show me you’re not gone! Something!’
“I think I met Luna today.” My eyes rolled over and I lean backward, thinking back on the perfectly normal and logical events. “She’s a golden stand. That’s sort of nice. She even said she loved you, so that’s nice too.”
As I spoke of Luna’s words, my left hind leg started shaking. In response, my tail coiled around it and squeezed it silly. Mixed signals of pains and satisfaction exploded in my brain, which had me balancing on one hoof and another.
“There’s Sweetie Belle, who got her Cutie Mark today. Isn’t that incredible?!” My voice jumped three octaves higher, not that this was easy to tell with the nine other voices piled up on it. No matter, I calmed down instantly, struck by another thought. “Then again, I wonder how other ponies would react to her getting her Cutie Mark on the day of Discord’s release. Ooooh, that is a creepy thought.”
The unconscious alicorn in front of me still didn’t react. For some reason though, I could hear her voice now. ‘That is fascinating, my good pony. Please tell me more.’
“Gladly, Princess! There’s the thing with Hiding Armor. Did you know he got turned into a whimpy foal? It was so cute ! I regret not being able to take pictures with my ears. That would be so useful, but hey, nobody’s perfect. So… hum… yeah, I think I lost him after the girls started beating me up on stage. Knowing him, he probably went into hiding somewhere. Oh well, there are many garbage cans around this world, or so I’ve heard.”
With a shrug, I turned around, locking my eyes to the window. The curtains were certainly there, but being made out of glass, they certainly did not hide the rest of Ponyville from view.
The now grey sky seemed to project an aura of gloom over the good ponies of this town, as the nothingness above had a way to claw its way into one’s heart. There was nothing at all in that sky, only nothingness above… threatening to swallow you. Just nothingness… watching… ever watchful.
Nothingnothingnothingnothingnothing nothingnothingnothingNOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHINGNO-!
Windows. Shut.
Trembling like crazy, shaking in my invisible boots, I fought a terrible sense of vertigo. My balance was off. I could barely stand.
The second I lifted a hoof to walk, I fell face first into the floor. At that, I could not hold in a soft giggle. With a muzzle against cold hard tiles, it was hard to do much more.
The cheerfulness died pretty quickly though. There was someone who I still needed to talk to. Somepony that had the right to be told…
Not trusting my failing senses, I swung an arm forward at the next tile, then, shifting my weight, I started to crawl. It was undignified, rather messy and sorta gross when I felt dirt stick on my fur.
But as soon as I had reached the side of Celestia’s bed, I stood up with an unhinged, unconvincing smile on my face.
“T-the girls will save Equestria! They’ll use the Elements and defeat Discord! I know they will!”
‘Are you sure about that?’ A voice I despise above all others echoed in my mind.
In a second, I became a lost soul in a maelstrom of emotions. My body felt like it was burning with anger, yet my veins were filled with liquid ice. My heart jumped up and down in my chest, but was also an empty lifeless husk.
Blown away, I barely managed to get into sitting position before I collapsed.
“Are you here?” I whispered, not trusting myself not to shout. “Or am I just hallucinating?”
‘Why would I tell you?’ Discord snorted.
“Because I’m asking?” I tilted my head, directing my mind eyes toward him. It gave no result. I knew he was here, but I had no idea where .
‘Now, now, that is just naïve, sonny.’ The draconequus’ shape started to form into thin air, as the light seemed to be distorted and reflected in that space. ‘I’m never that nice.’
T-this casual dismissal… t-th-that… that tone of voice… all dams in my mind broke.
The edge of my visions started to blur, my blood pumping so hard in my veins that it made me dizzy. My breathing accelerated, letting out bouts of steaming hot air repeatedly. My paw was shaking so hard it scratched the floor.
“I know that,” I growled and glared his way.
My fangs were aching. I wanted his blood. I wanted to feel his life disintegrate under my heels.
‘You don’t look so good, boy,’ Discord remarked in passing, slowly gaining colors and form.
“You would know.”
“My, how scary.” The draconequus turned around, sliding through the air like the snake he is. He was fully materialized now and I could see every detail on his despicable face. “I love how you’re doing the voice of legion.”
A derisive snort escaped my lips. “Still a narcissist at heart, aren’t you?”
“Whatever do you mean, boy?” He sounded surprise, but he was a good actor.
“Gee, I dunno. I really wonder who is responsible for me being stuck as a freakish mutant pony thing. This is so hard to guess,” I hissed. Sarcasm dipped from my words.
“W-wait…” He paused, looking at me with wide eyes. He seemed lost for words for a brief moment, but then, his paw shot off to cover his mouth. Snorts and giggling noises reached my ears, as a cold apprehension came to take over my heart. “Y-you honestly believed I’m the one that made you what you are, boy?”
My answer flew out of my mouth instantly, brutal and honest. “Yes.”
The draconequus’ eyes lit up at that. Oh dear…
He started laughing .
“Oh, this is just too good!” He doubled over, hitting the ground with his open paw repeatedly. Each hit made a different sound and caused the floor to change color. “It’s the ‘Big Bad Discord’ all over again!”
I shook my head. “I’m not wearing a hood.” This was just ridiculous.
“No, no, no, get your head out of the fairytales, boy. I’m talking about your unsightly tendencies to blame everything on my shoulders.”
‘So full of crap.’ I rolled my eyes and decided to examine the ground. It was more interesting and less likely to lie to my face.
“Focus, Honest!” He snapped his claws and lifted my chin.
The touch sent shivers of pure disgust through my body. Despite that, I could not help an ironic grin.
“Oh, it is laughing matter, my dear boy, but I would not expect you to find it so funny.”
I gave a low chuckle at that. “No, it’s… you’re the first one that chose to call me Honest rather than Havoc .”
Discord did not seem impressed by this. “Considering I gave you that name, I find this to be rather irrelevant.”
I stared at him.
“What?” He puffed his chest. “It truly is irrelevant. Why are you getting mushy on me, boy?”
“I’m not.” I sighed and looked away. “I just find that depressing.”
“You brought that on yourself, my dear Honest Havoc – see? Full name, don’t blow a casket at me for this. If you didn’t want to be different, you should have gotten a different body.”
I blinked.
Wait…
Oh, a horrible idea just came to me, but, no… that couldn’t be. Discord was just messing with me again, right?
“Y-you say that… l-like I’m the one… that is responsible for this… body…”
“Of course you are.” He rolled his eyes, twelve times, making them fly out of their orbit. “You were just a mind and a mass of chaotic energy once the seal broke. Since magic is an exercise of will…”
He started whistling.
“T-that… that’s a joke.” And a good one at that… I could not stop smiling!
“Oh no, no, no.” Discord shook a claw at me, a look of disapproval on his face. “You will not start…”
I let out a shriek of laugher and fell on my side. This was so funny. C-could you imagine? One more piece of grief and it was entirely self-inflicted !
Ribs hurting, legs batting in the air, I felt tears roll down my cheeks. The sca-… funny thing was that I could not tell if they were tears of laugher or tears of pain.
The question was answered in an unorthodox form quickly enough though.
“Oh, please.” Discord grunted, snapping his claws together.
A brief disorientation assaulted each and every one of my senses, making my eyes tilt sideways.
Just as things cleared up, however, I realized I did not recognize the ceiling. It was patterned, almost like a floor. ‘Ooooh, upside down door. When did that happen?’
“Good, now that I have your attention, I will continue my explanation.” The draconequus floated in my field of vision. His expression was guarded; he seemed cautious and highly suspicious of me. “Thank you,” he said when I did not react.
“Bless the orange.”
“And pass the confetti,” he replied without missing a beat and shrugged. “As I was saying, you are the way you are because you chose to be. When the seal broke, you were the only one with control over the energy cont – will you stop snickering already?! ”
Claws over my mouth, I was trying, and failing, not to snort. A little fume escaped through my nostrils. “Soooooorry.”
He sighed. “I just don’t know what went wrong…”
“The part where I became…” My voice trailed off, as did my thoughts. “What? How did you think I was going to break actually?”
“Oh, that is not important, just like your constant interruptions.”
“Meh,” I shrugged, sticking out my tongue and flicking my own forehead with it.
Eh, neat.
“I sense a distinct lack of respect for my status as the avatar of Chaos, Disharmony and all things dire in your life, boy.” He helpfully reminded me, because of course, I had entirely forgotten about the part where I had lost everything in my life due to our fun fun game.
‘Nice try, Deedee. ’“But if I did respect that, I’d be trying to eat your face, gut you and dance on your grave. Not a lot more productive.”
His face crunched up in annoyance. “I am reminded of yellow and pink…”
My grin became savage. “You would be, wouldn’t you?”
A flash of light blinded me.
Disoriented, I tried to ask what was going on, in the hopes that some nice person would answer. My heartbeat accelerated to a frenzy when my lips refused to move. Instantly, my mind returned to that cold, dark place where my limbs were frozen and the world was still and I could not move AND MY SKIN WAS HARD AS ROCK, A STATE OF HELL VISI-
My cheek burned with the sting of pain.
Reptilian eyes reflected in a beady dark orb of pure malevolence. “Hello, Angel.”
“Actually, that’s just a plushy of him,” Discord explained even as he pushed the fluffy thing away. “I do like your idea that he’s the ultimate evil though. Silly, but funny.”
“Very silly indeed.” I giggled. “We both know he can’t be the ultimate evil if the place is already taken.”
The draconequus stopped moving.
With a glare to freeze hellfire or burn absolute zero, Discord grabbed me by the throat. “Junior, you will not go there again. You will not say. One. More. Word.”
For sole answer, I snorted.
No seriously, I didn’t say anything else. I fought a few giggles, but I kept my mouth shut for the most part.
Yeah, that was surprisingly smart and sane of me. I simply kept up with his glare with a light heart and a cheerful song in my head.
“Good, I see we might get somewhere after all, Honest.” His grip loosened.
I fell sideways, into the closed door.
“Is that somewhere still in this room?” I asked, balancing my head from one side to another.
For a second, Discord’s body slumped, his arms sliding to the side of his body. His paw found its way to his forehead and his claws squeezed and contracted. “…Yes.”
Under his breath, he muttered a few words. For what I caught of it, it meant something like a reason not to work with mad ponies.
“Alright, Honest, no interruptions.” The poor monster sounded bored, almost defeated. “Otherwise, I will turn you into a statue.”
…
I started looking around for sowing material to seal my mouth shut.
“As I was saying, your mind controlled the chaotic magic left in the statue and molded it into a reflection of yourself. Namely, this.” His arms widened, twirling into a reflective surface that contained my own mutate body.
Yellow silted eyes stared back with astonishment. I read dismay in the creature’s body language, from the way the pointy ears drooped, or the snake-like tongue slid back into the mouth or even by the protective coil of the griffon’s tail around the right hind leg.
This monster was pathetic.
And it was me.
“Yes, it followed your desire, it reflected who you are inside and the result is for all the eyes to see: a broken, mismatched mess with an inimitable ugliness to it.” The words struck my sense of ego, what was left of it at least, with enough strength to shatter it. “Not even a human, as you could and should have been. Was there a part of your mind that associated Equestria with being an equine? I don’t need to really ponder that. You were always so bound by the rules. Nonetheless, this little experience shows a great deal of self-loathing. You wanted to be different, but you couldn’t be special .”
My eyes could not leave the ground. An impossibly heavy pressure weighted on my whole body.
“The result speaks for itself really. Something almost worthy of being called a draconequus. Almost.” It was Discord’s turn to snicker.
And the familiar sound broke the embrace of my inner darkness. It just made me want to laugh too.
My next words left my mouth before any filter could stop them. “Huh… well, that was interesting.”
Discord’s movements came to a halt again, just as he was lifting a few cows over his head. The poor animals flew out of the window. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”
Innocently, I looked at him with wide demoniac puppy eyes. “I said it was interesting. It’s pretty nice knowing why I’m such a weird looking pony thing, but really, regrets are bad, bad, bad and I don’t want them anymore.”
…
Oh… oh boy…
My spiritual daddy looked absolutely heartbroken. For some reason, his legs walked off without him, climbing imaginary stairs I could see very well. Sliding on the ground like a snake, he spent a few minutes growling and whispering curses, most of which made my face warm with unease.
“Huh…”
“This is simply not working!” Discord suddenly exploded, sounding extremely annoyed.
“Hum…”
“Boy, you are starting to get on my nerves.” His breath behind my ears made every single strand of fur on my body stand on its end.
“I thought you wanted more chaos. You can’t exactly say I’m not random.”
“No, but I’M the only one that should remain even a semblance of sanity as this world breaks down into pieces!” He snapped a finger and the hospital room’s lights all dimmed to nothingness. “Prepare yourself for a sight that destroys the mind of even gods.”
It started with just a few flickers of light and darkness into the void shown to me. Then it started.
…
“Well?” Discord tapped his claws against his arm. “Are you going to start rambling, as usual?”
I tilted my head.
“Honest?” The draconequus asked again with – dare I think it? – a hint of worry.
I squinted my eyes to get a better view of the madness beyond reality.
“Huh, neat.”
The crashing sound to my side took me by surprise. To the point I let out a squeak.
“How can you say this?! You can see an outer god being digested by the mechanics of entropy. This is the stuff that the nightmares nightmares have have nightmares about.”
“Huh…” I groaned, holding my head between my paw and my hoof. “Too many nightmares, D.”
“Why aren’t you raving madly about your overwhelming sense of nothingness in the front of the truth?” Discord demanded to know, looking quite stern.
“Well, it is scary, sure, but compared to the chicken, this is not quite up to par.”
“SEE?!” The draconequus’ face filled my field of vision. I could not see anything but the big yellow eyes and the buffy eyebrows. “This is what is wrong with the mechanics of our relationship! I should be the one making you question your sanity with every statement, not the opposite!”
“It’s hardly my fault you don’t know true fear.” I let out a sigh.
He gave me a flat look. “You’re doing it again.”
I did not dignify that with a reply. It left Discord not very cooperative or willing to continue this conversation for long.
“Oh, forget it. I’ll just play with the girls and finish this later.”
“You’ll be made into a lawn ornament again!”
“Oh, good one.” He dismissed me with a wave of a paw, chuckling to himself. “You truly are delusional if you believe for even one second that those mares have the ability to defeat me one more time. This mad rambling of yours is quite entertaining, Honest.”
For some reason, his attitude hit a nerve. I-it had me fearing the slight possibility that it was true, that perhaps the Mane Six might not win.
And chaos would reign.
“I… I’m not delusional! This is not mad rambling! You’ll see!” But even to myself, those words sounded weak, terrified and desperate.
“Oh really?” He asked, with a voice that pierced through my shield of bubbliness and craziness. “Then did this conversation happen or have you lost fifteen minutes hallucinating in front of a lamp?! ”
And he was gone, instantly. No, faster than that. His presence had been disappearing much before that. He was long gone before I actually realized he was. It was not the same as before. Things didn’t snap back into place. They were already into place.
All I could see was a short, slender metallic structure leading to a lit light bulb.
I heard my brain crack.
And I bit into the next thing I saw.
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
The following scene was extracted from the official Royal Canterlot records, cannot be distributed outside of the library and its content must not be divulged to outsiders. Offenders will be prosecuted and risk facing punishments reserved for traitors against the crown.
Twilight let out a gasp of horror. The others had varying degree of shock stuck on their faces.
The library had changed, so much that the hint Honest Havoc had given them would have been completely useless had they seen it beforehand. The building had been so radically altered that some pieces of them would have asked that they investigate anyway.
They stared at the twisted unearthed roots dancing through the air, at the brimstone walls that had replaced the calming wooden structure from before, at the crimson stained glasses adoring the library… they stared and bit back an hesitation.
Dark clouds had started to gather under the flying structure, a lake of darkness only occasionally ripped apart when lightning struck the sky above. One such lightning bolt blinded them when it erupted, its loud booming accompanying thunder shaking their resolves.
Twilight’s expression twisted with dismay. Her home had been turned into an ominous miniature castle floating over a veil of shadows. That seriously was going to take a while to clean up.
“Alright, enough gaping, girls! Let’s go!” She rallied them, with an eager nod in response from both Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
The latter was the one to make the first step toward the library. As if that had been a signal, a ray of light shot from the library struck in front of her. The mare’s eyes shrunk as she stared at the solid blade of light just inches away from her hooves.
“T-that was close,” she muttered, kicking the thing that had made her heart go crazy.
As her hooves hit the ray, it twisted, caving in. Before she could let out a satisfied noise though, the ray bent underneath her. Squarely, very stiffly, it bent, again and again, repeatedly, from them to the castle.
The mares exchanged a glance at the sight of a staircase seemingly appearing solely at their conveniences. Doubts were melting like snow under the sun in such circumstances.
With no other choices, they climbed the steps one at a time, each friend watching the other’s back, waiting for the other shoe to drop. They felt vaguely ill, simply anticipating the madness that would surely fall on their heads.
Against all odds though, while their progression was slow, they made it to the entrance of the library. They were, however, slightly taken aback by what was before their eyes.
Right on the door, between the two stone cow, was a warning sign written in bright yellow.
‘Abandon all hope, ye who enters here.’
“No, seriously?” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Who writes that on their doorstep? You’d have to be a total egghead to even get the reference, let alone think that was cool!”
Inexplicably, the bearer of the Element of Magic felt the desire to whistle innocently. Luckily for her, none of her friends happened to be looking in her general direction or they would have seen the luminescent blush coloring her cheeks.
No, their attention was more focused on the few words at the very bottom of the warning sign.
‘P.S. Bring ice cream with you.’
Upon reading those words, Pinkie broke into a tearful scream. “But we’re all out at SugarCube Corner! The pony delivering messed it up!”
“There, there.” Fluttershy quickly went to her, patting her back in an attempt to sooth her friend’s torment.
“Okay, can we please get on with saving the world?” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “This is really getting tedious.”
Twilight turned, finding herself guiltily agreeing with her cyan friend. “Right away-”
She was cut off by a loud banging noise, as the door caved in under the pressure of two orange legs.
“Problem. Solved.” The cowpony grunted through gritted teeth, heading inside first.
Her remaining friends took a second to exchange meaningful glances. Of them, it was Rainbow Dash that once more opted to break the silence befalling them.
“Is it just me or AJ is really not in the mood?” The mare asked, surprisingly uncomfortable with this turn of event.
“Rainbow, darling, are you really that blind?” Rarity shook her head, incredulous that her friend lacked so much perception. “Of course she is in a mood; both her siblings are completely under Discord’s thrall.”
“Just asking,” Rainbow said to defend herself, shrugging.
“ARE YE COMING?!”
Almost jumping out of their skins, the bearers of the Elements of Harmony ran inside, after their friend.
The sight presented to them was plain humbling.
The orange mare waited, impatiently tapping one of her hooves against the ground, completely indifferent to the extraordinary new appearance of the library.
They collectively stretched their necks backward to take in the whole gigantesque cave they were in. Ornamented with hundreds and thousands of the bloodiest rubies, its walls ran up farther than they could distinguish. Faintly, they could make out a small white light at the very center of the ceiling, if such a thing there was in this place.
“W-whoa…”
In a trance, the mares took a few more steps inside, occasionally tripping over the stray gems or pieces of obsidian. Darker than black, the cave seemed to slowly absorb all light. The sensation was… as disturbing as it seemed, comforting. If the darkness wanted to take them now and forever, then perhaps… they wouldn’t…
“Y’all lucky there ain’t flies in here.”
The sound of their friend’s voice brought them back to their senses.
“H-how are you not affected by this?”
“By what?” Her eyes narrowed, giving off the impression of being quite ticked off. “This place is just an annoying bunch of root for us to pull out to get to the rattlesnake and beat the tar out of him.”
None of them could reply to the farmer’s question though, as the entire cave shook.
The mares felt the ground tremble under their hooves and soon, all six of them had fallen on the hard ground. The vibrations were so strong they felt them resonate with their entire beings. Lifting their eyes to the hidden sky, they became witness of a terrifying sight.
They heard slithering, cracking and breaking, from the rocks and the earth, from the unending dome, as clouds and clouds of dust erupted from the sides of the cave. Their blood froze in their veins, when they realized with horror that something had been asleep underneath the stone.
Entire sections of the cave fell off, boulders the size of a house falling close to the now petrified mares. Through the now broken walls, they could see hints of red more vivid than even the rubies littering the floor.
Rarity felt ill when she made the connection, and so did the others as they identified the creature whose slumber had been disturbed.
Twilight Sparkle would distinctively remember classifying that beast in a different category than her little assistant. Her mind simply refused the association between her Spike and that foul creature. Ancient? Yes, but also carrying an air of arrogance and terrible desires that seeped and crawled under the skin.
And finally, they were spotted. For a moment, it seemed as if nothing would happen, but, just as Twilight was about to let out a sigh of relief, a malevolent light appeared in the beast’s eyes. With movements so large they seemed almost ridiculous, the dragon’s head lowered to a closer level, enough for them to make out details.
It opened the deep chiasm one would mistakenly qualify as a mouth, exhaled air hot as the flames of the Princess’ sun, and, with a rumble of apocalypse, it spoke. “Did you bring ice cream?”
…
One acute observation might reveal that as the exact second Applejack’s blood vessels exploded from pure fury.
“No, we didn’t! NOW OUT OF OUR WAY!”
Unable to think rationally, the mare dove headfirst into what she thought would be battle, foolishly.
A light built up at the back of the monster’s throat.
Then, the world disappeared into a blinding light.
“APPLEJACK!”
The following scene has not been recorded in any shape or form. You should not know this.
It was dark.
Her body felt warm. A weight was making her movements harder.
Why?
She did not understand. Where was she? W-what had happened?
She could hear voices; muffled, distorted voices from afar. They felt… familiar.
The voice then got louder, more distinct and Applejack could already identify its owner. Sounds of scrambling and hoofsteps alerted her to the coming visitor.
“Sis? Ya awake?”
It made her heart skip a beat.
W-was it… p-p-possible? Could it actually be real?
She wanted it to.
Unnoticed by the mare, the golden necklace she was wearing seemed to lose some luster. Its glow weakened.
“Applebloom?” Applejack jumped out of bed, dashing straight for the door of her room and throwing it open.
There she was, her precious lil’ sis, staring at her with wide confused eyes. “Are ye okay, Applejack?
The poor filly was crushed into a hug. “Now, Ah am…”
“Huh… Sis?” Applebloom blinked. “What’s wrong?”
“Noth-” She caught herself before telling such a bold faced lie, even if it would have been so much easier to just…lie. “What happened here?”
The yellow filly blinked. “What d’ye mean, Sis?”
“Ah was fightin’ that no-good Dissie when Ah got knocked-out.” She placed her hooves over her forehead, feeling a bit of a headache coming. “Ah could have sworn t’was not over yet.”
Applebloom giggled. “Whoa, ye’ve been sleeping like a log, Sis. Didja have a bad dream? Yer friends finished off Discord with yer help yesterday.”
That… that was what she remembered… (She did not notice the necklace around her neck, losing its coloration with each passing second.) So they had beaten Discord after all? Great, that lying fancy smanchy snake had gotten its just desert after all.
Why didn’t it feel quite right? She couldn’t put her hooves on it.
“Aren’t ye going to come down for lunch?”
Applejack blinked. Her sister was waiting for her in her doorway, half posed to leave by herself already.
She let her kid sister guide her. She just followed in a daze, into the kitchen from where a few noises of hooves against the floor could be heard.
Applebloom entered casually, strutting inside without a care in the world, listening to her stomach. Her sister on the other hand...
She couldn't fathom her reaction if it... if everypony wasn't back to normal...
With a grimace of fear, Applejack peaked inside.
There he was, carrying Granny’s heavy cauldron in his mouth like it weight a feather. Each movement was deceptively slow, hiding care and a gentle touch. His figure obscured the light from the windows, highlighting his form, but not obscuring the shade of his fur.
Red.
“Big Mac!” The mare shouted, hurrying to her brother’s side, and, as soon as he was within reach, pull him into a bone crushing hug.
The red stallion looked a little uncertain at the sudden display of affection. “AJ?”
“Ah, let it be, big brother.” Applebloom shrugged, taking her seat at the table. “She’s been like that with me too.”
“Can’t a sister be glad to have her siblings back?” Applejack asked sullenly, though the effect was upset by her tears of joy.
She heard a low rumble, building up from her brother’s chest. He chuckled. “Course you can, AJ.”
His leg shifted, finding her back and bringing her closer into a warm embrace.
“Welcome back.”
Ponyville! It was back! The streets weren’t carrying any nonsensical shmuck like wingless birds or rotating clothes that dried up washing machines. They were just plain normal now! She was so happy she thought she could burst in tears on the spot.
But a strange sight caught her eyes.
‘That’s a joke…’ The mare thought. ‘And in poor taste too.’
Over there, right by the town’s market, there was a structure projecting a looming shadow over the plaza. She had never seen it before, barely heard rumors of it still being stored somewhere underneath the town hall on Nightmare Night.
Gallows. And there was something hanging by the rope.
Sweet mother of Celestia… had the townsfolk gone mad?
…Well, had they forgotten to take that down? Sure, there had to be lots of damage to repair everywhere, but gallows seemed to be the sort of thing that had to be high on your priority list. A foal could come by at any given time!
Something akin to a fire lit up in her chest, making her blood boil. Face crunched up, she walked up to the structure with a determined stomp. She was going to take that down herself and nopony would stop her.
A blur of colors went past her, almost running into her legs.
“Come on!” A high pitched grating voice racked her nerves, coming from a small unicorn colt.
“Yeah, it’s really weird!” The other one shouted, going after his friend to catch up.
Snips and Snails were heading straight toward that Celestia-forsaken thing.
“Hey! Get back here, boys! Th’ain’t the sorta things lil’ colts should see!”
“Aaaah, she’s onto us, Snails!” Snips panicked, accelerating.
The colts did not have a chance. She stopped in front of them, barring the way to that thing with her own body.
“Youngings like you two shouldn’t be lookin’ at that stuff!” She chastised.
The duo blinked dumbly, eyes wide and focused elsewhere. Not on her, but behind her.
It was only a reflex, she had actually meant to stand on her hind legs, front legs spread wide enough to block the morbid view. Except the strangeness of it all had already attracted her curiosity. So she glanced behind her.
Applejack wasn’t prepared for that.
Her blood froze in her veins. Her body seemed filled with solid ice. She stared at the gallows with horror. It was no puppet hanging from that rope. It was a real, solid corpse.
And one recognizable amongst them all.
Nopony could imitate that body, those mismatched unfitting, uncanny body parts stitched to a stallion’s body... except maybe his father himself.
The sight shook her to the core.
A part of her, one she was horrified to discover she had, could only think ‘Good riddance’. That alone almost drove her to tears. To find out she was such a horrible pony? It would have been enough for her to lie to herself.
The rest of her though was positively filled with dismay and repulsion. She had never seen… well, not a dead body because that , she had seen it before… no, she just never saw the remains of pony, dangled over the plaza for all the ponies to see, a grotesque spectacle for the sick of mind. She was close enough to notice details of horror. A monstrous spectacle… enough to make her sick…
His tongue, elongated and forked, was lying against the side of his face. It seemed to be missing pieces… the ending looked to be hanging by a thread… a bloody thread…
Patches of fur have been burnt off, charred and giving off the smell of ashes. Others looked damp, sticking to his body and suspiciously of a darker red than the rest of his being.
Still, the worse was the part that was the hardest to see.
His eyes, oh Celestia, his eyes! They had rolled over, so their golden irises were only half visible, but they were so bloodshot… A creepy sensation of vulnerability washed over her, as if that thing was watching, even beyond death.
“Whoa, Snips, that thing is really creepy!”
That childish voice, juxtaposed to that grotesque situation, made Applejack’ s head spin. She had to be in another dimension, another world!
(The Element of Honesty shone brighter…)
“Yeah, I’m glad it’s dead!” Snips nodded, kicking a rock toward the corpse. “Now Discord won’t be freed anymore!”
(The artifact turned grey.)
She barely heard the colts as they went on, rambling about things so meaningless to her.
That thing had released Discord… it had unleashed a plague upon their world, for no reason, and almost destroyed her entire life. It was just… right…
A strange numbness started to climb her legs. For some reason, it escaped her notice. It just didn’t happen.
She let her curiosity take her to the gallows, toward the small wooden sign planted in front of it. The message it carried chilled her to the bones.
Here remains the body of the monster that unleashed Discord upon this world, as he stands executed by the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, per authority of the Princesses. May his corpse serves as a reminder of ponykind’s triumph over Disharmony.
Applejack felt as if a bucket of cold water had been dumped over her head. W-what was that? They had killed that thing? ‘Honest Havoc.’ Her friends? They had done that to it? ‘Him...’ That was just a lie!
She heard her own voice mock her. ‘Yet it was fine when it was just a fact of life, right, me?’
“Not the same!” The mare shouted, ignoring the strange looks she started getting from passerby. “The girls wouldn’t do that! It’s not them!”
The voice replied again, but with each word, it grew less like hers. ‘It’s what they had to do to save Equestria. It’s what you did to save your family. And you did. They’re back and you have what you wanted!’
She lost sensation around her back and her chest. Her words no longer carried any weight. “It’s… a lie…”
‘Oh, it IS a lie, my dear Applejack. The one you want to believe so badly.’ She didn’t laugh like that, did she? ‘And guess what? YOU DO!’
Then everything turns black.
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
I stumbled outside the hospital in a daze. T-things were a little blurry. The buildings weren’t exactly stable, they seemed wobbly, and ponies… well, they couldn’t be really called ponies anymore. Same went for the buffalos and such.
My eyes were half-drooped.
My weight seemed to shift as I tripped and bash my head against a cotton candy wall.
Face full of fluffy sugary pink goodness, I let the sweet scent invade my nostrils. It just gave me a fuzzy little warmth and a kick to go on. Still, with my face embedded into that wall, I could look inside what seemed to be a factory of some sort. My mind was a bit blank, so you’ll forgive me for not actually realizing they were making rainbows.
I couldn’t quite tell where I was anymore.
“Hey, sir or madam!” I shouted to a blue box that looked suspiciously like a phone booth.
The whole thing just shook, as if shocked out of its skin.
“Y-yes?” It asked with a British accent. “M-may I help you sir?”
And the voice was definitely masculine too.
“Do you know where I am?” I grumbled, pushing against the cotton candy, hoping to get myself out of this mess. “I’m kinda trying to find out where I can make a wish and annihilate my pops from existence.”
“KEY WORD RECOGNIZE – ANNIHILATE! ANNIHILATE!”
Red light flashing in my eyes, I only got the chance to stare at the cybernetic monsters slowly inching in my direction before facing my certain doom.
“Oh butter nuggets on a yellow submarine sandwich…”
The following scene was extracted from the official Royal Canterlot records, cannot be distributed outside of the library and its content must not be divulged to outsiders. Offenders will be prosecuted and risk facing punishments reserved for traitors against the crown.
The light blinded her.
“Applejack!” She screamed, louder than she had ever screamed before.
The air grew colder.
It… what had happened? Where were the others?
A feeling of fear creeping on her, she shot nervous, frightful glances at her surroundings, trying to make sense of it all. One minute, her friend was trying to pick a fight with a monstrous dragon and the next she was all alone in…
Where was she?
This certainly wasn’t Twilight’s library. It was a little too cozy for that.
Oh! Not that she meant that Twilight’s library was not comfortable, it was! … Probably… to some ponies… W-well, the books lying around on the floor could be a little… or just the general lack of organization… or maybe the few times Miss Cheerilie’s class had come on a field trip and wouldn’t stop talking loudly…
Errr… she really liked Twilight’s library… promise.
“Oh listen to me, I’m a horrible pony,” Fluttershy whispered, lowering her head with sadness. “I can’t even appreciate all the hard-work my friends do without feeling critical about it.”
She had some standards, she didn’t think that was a bad thing, but if it led to her clashing with her friends... For example, a floor should not be made of such soft and precious silk. It felt like such a waste of bits, not to mention that walking on that was a little dangerous. It was so smooth under the hooves!
A bloodcurdling screech shocked her out of her contemplation. Whereas her every instinct yelled her ears off for her to run and hide as quickly as possible, the rational part of her mind had identified the noise as something non-threatening. Quite the contrary. It was a call for help.
Fluttershy’s heart squeezed, knowing perfectly well who the owner of that voice was.
Panicked, prey to a terrible fear, the mare shot up a few meters in the air, hovering over the room to see as best as she could. Over the air moved by her wings, one could barely hear her heartbroken whisper. “A-Angel?”
She fell to the ground, strength leaving her body like her soul had been torn apart. Everything had crashed down on her at the sight of her Angel having his shoulder pierced by a snake’s fangs. The poor dear was flailing useless, hissing and kicking while the… the monster held more strongly.
“LET HIM GO!” Her voice boomed , sounding nothing alike the kind mare she was known as.
Feeling an uncharacteristically powerful fire burning in her veins, Fluttershy took off wildly, flying straight toward her precious pet. Her vision almost blurred with anger as she landed with a stomp, flattening the snake in one hit.
The reptile hurriedly slithered away from the enraged mare. It disappeared in a dark corner of the room, waiting in an unlit area for… perhaps… another chance at its future meal.
Heart pounding against the sides of her face, the mare could barely keep her anger in check, but it wasn’t what her Angel needed!
With a slap, she chastised herself for being so weak and focused her attention sorely on her pet bunny, who remained lying against the velvet carpet. Her hooves shaking, Fluttershy forced her gaze to stay entirely focused on him, running a mental list of wounds and poisons that could be inflicted by a snake. Gasping, she recognized the glistening fluid on the edge of the wounds.
Rainbow snake’s venom… there was no cure for that… It was fatal within the day following the bite, reaching a point where the body could no longer support the decaying organs, all slowly destroyed by the poison, and collapsed.
The most spectacular and unfortunate known case of these bites took the meaning literally, she had seen the pictures… They would haunt for the rest of her life. And now, the unfortunate pony in them was being replaced by her closest confident and first true friend.
Her tears fell. They rolled off her cheeks out of her control entirely, her body being shaken by sobs. ‘No… Angel… this can’t be true…’
A weak pat on her chest shattered her reminiscence of the gruesome images, allowing her to focus on the dying animal in her grasp.
He let out a pathetic, half grunt, eyes narrowed into an annoyed frown. It looked as if, even on the verge of death, he wanted her to get it together. He'd slap her silly if it was what she needed and if he had the strength to do so. He settled for a disgruntled noise, half a plea and half an order.
“N-no!”
She… she didn’t want to lose him! Not the first friend she had made herself! Not the little bunny that had seen her get her Cutie Mark! Not the one soul that always shared her bedroom whenever life got scary in Ponyville again.
On the floor, the pet convulsed twice, shrieking and screeching bloody murder. The poison was already making its way into his veins.
‘The pain starts to become unbearable within the first five minutes following the bite,’ she heard her teacher repeat again, taping a branch against the vivarium where the rainbow snake rested. It hissed and she backed away.
“A-Angel…” Fluttershy’s voice broke.
‘Then, if untreated in the following few instants, the damage is irreversible. What comes next is a slow and horrible agony.’
Angel looked in her eyes, as if asking her to indulge his selfishness one last time.
Her body moved again, her consciousness extinguished, rather following instinct and practice. There was only one way to help her precious Angel.
‘Most patients who came too late to be treated are given the strongest painkillers available, for a maximum of an hour. After that, they are put into an artificial coma, which will continue until their death.’
She poured her heart into her next few words. “I love you.”
She did not even flinch when the horrible sound of a snapping twig boomed into the deathly silent room.
Neither did the necklace she wore around her neck.
“Angel…” she whispered.
The fluffy body in her front legs was inert, forever immobile and a reminiscence of happiness lost to fatality. The warmth of life was already starting to desert it.
She held onto him for dear life, the reality of her own actions crashing down on her mind. But she could not accept it! He was not… he was not… DEAD!
“I love you, Angel!” She wailed, burying her face against his, wishing the world would just stop existing if such pain could be felt. “I’ll miss you so… so much!”
Angel was dead.
Nothing could change that. He was forever gone.
The room, though well-lit and lightened by the presence of multiple candles, grew colder and darker, an unpleasant place to be in.
“Angel…” She sobbed, again and again.
Her eyes seemed to be burning, sending pulsing waves of heat through her skull, yet she refused to do anything but stare. T-that snake… it had killed her poor bunny! S-she knew i-i-it was n-natural, but…
The image of her precious Angel flashed in her mind and suddenly, the rage was too powerful to contain. She roared, screaming her heart, her grief and her sorrow, out. The sound was as primal as it was scary.
It seemed as if the library itself trembled at the sound.
Carried away by her fury, she snarled, whipping her head around to scan the room for the presence of the monster that had taken Angel away from her, that wanted to eat him.
Her eyes fell on a shaking creature hiding away, capturing her complete attention.
And the serpent coiled on itself, almost perfectly paralyzed with an instinctual fear, its disgusting yellow eyes never leaving hers for a second.
She marched toward it, wings expending and making her silhouette larger. By that point, the reptile had lost the capacity to operate even in self-defense. Unusually lethargic, the Rainbow Snake slumped into a scaly mass of unmoving serpent. Its gaze was still transfixed by the Stare. It could not fight it. Nothing could.
Somewhere, in its primitive mind, the animal knew its doom was close, but the power of the mare’s eyes was nailing it in place. It screamed within its body, never heard by anything but its own pathetic self. Still, it could only look as its demise approached it, dancing shadows obscuring her frame and her expression.
It could only hear loud breathing, exhalations of rage and promises of pain.
Looking down on the animal, on that beast , Fluttershy’s heart demanded bloody revenge. It wanted satisfaction, the knowledge that Life wasn’t so unfair as to let Angel’s assassin go unpunished!
IT HAD TO DIE!
She brought down her hoof.
The Element of Kindness flashed once. No more.
The following scene was extracted from the official Royal Canterlot records, cannot be distributed outside of the library and its content must not be divulged to outsiders. Offenders will be prosecuted and risk facing punishments reserved for traitors against the crown.
“W-where am I?” She asked, her brain still actively trying to catch up with her body.
Just now, Twilight had awoken, seemingly on a metallic floor, which was strange considering her library was built inside a tree. Did her mattress broke or something?
“In my new and improved version of a building of knowledge.”
Her eyes shot open instantly as she simultaneously catapulted herself out of her sleeping position and turned toward the source of the noise.
Her face crunched up with anger and hatred at the sight of Equestria’s biggest enemy.
“DISCORD!” She shouted and lunged, only stopped by a series of metal bar. Contact between those and the tiara she was wearing made a noticeable crystalline sound.
“Yes, Twilight Sparkle?” The draconequus asked, flipping a page of his magazine, loafing around on a tree suspended between two hammocks.
He seemed to thoroughly enjoy the bright green pool he had created, floating above it while Twilight was confined to her cage by the wall.
She punched the metal limiting her freedom in her rage. She cared not for his antics and his games, her rage was putting them all in the background. She had but one question. “Where are my friends?!”
“Oh, you know, same old, same old.” He rolled his eyes, yawning. “In the mouth of the horse unsaddled, the spring comes-”
“Stop it with your stupid riddles already and answer my question!” Her horn glowed a bright light as she focused the brunt of her power into making the cage explode. “Or is the Spirit of Chaos so predictable that he will never dare give a straight answer.”
It was a good thing, at that moment, that the bearer of the Element of Magic’s eyesight was overwhelmed by the light of her own mana. Had she been able to see the monstrous expression of mortal fury that had quickly appeared and gone on the draconequus’ trait, she might have backed away out of sheer survival instinct.
“P-predictable?” Discord stuttered, hitting his forehead with his paw. “Not this again… I am very chaotic. Do I really need to prove it?”
“Tell me where they are!” She shrieked, pushing her magical reserves to their limits without managing to move the cage even an inch.
“You already know.”
“The only thing I know is that some sort of ancient weird dragon thing breathed light at Applejack!” The mare’s magic died out, leaving her panting on the ground. “The next… thing I knew… I was… trapped… here with... you !”
Not impressed, Discord crunched up his magazine into a little ball of paper, which was then disintegrated by miniature spacecraft. Twilight, ever the mare of knowledge, stared at the strange ships with wide, wildly interested eyes.
“Oh, that was just Rayrarhornyr,” he spoke, instantly getting her attention back. “An old dragon that owed me for pulling his youth out of harm’s way during the Greater Wars.”
This revelation had Twilight pause to organize her thoughts. ‘Greater Wars? I’ve never heard of such a thing before…’
“His breath can manipulate minds and space.”
“W-what?” She blinked. ‘That shouldn’t be possible. Dragons can’t use magic, not in such advanced forms…’ But the image of a certain number one assistant chose that time to float in her head. ‘A-at least, they normally can’t.’
“Your friends are around here and there, living some nice scenarios I cooked up for them. When they’re done, not a single one of them will be able to use the Elements against me. And, just like last time, you will only get to watch as those five crash and burn.”
Twilight’s lips twisted as the words left a terrible taste in her mouth. Though she did not show it, the idea of reliving the events of that terrible day had her stomach churn. “T-they know you, Discord. They won’t fall for your traps! They’re stronger than that!”
“The ‘heroic willpower’ speech? Oh, you bore me to death, Twilight Sparkle. Not that this is new. Always so methodical, always so scientific, no space for fantasy or flexibility in your mindset.” The Spirit of Chaos looked about ready to empty his stomach from sheer disgust. “Your friends must hate spend time with you.”
“T-that’s not true!” She hated how unsure she had sounded.
A deep, low pitched laughed filled the air.
“Don’t you ever wonder if they aren’t your friends simply because the fate of Equestria rides on your shoulders? Hum?” He slithered closer to her, one paw reaching into the cave and grabbing her chin.
Their gazes were locked together and in those yellow orbs of madness, she could feel tales of atrocity waiting to be unleashed. She wanted nothing more than to extinguish those eyes so they may never come to pass, but the movement necessary for lowering her horn was also beyond her current range of actions.
“How convenient, isn’t it, that your mentor, the all-knowing Celestia, sent you to make friends in Ponyville and that you suddenly made five friends, just in time to free her sister from her inner demons. Every event falls into place with another, almost as if it was a scenario written by someone with the power and authority to do it…”
A cold dread started to wash over her mind. His words were a poisonous whisper, planting ideas in her mind that she could not deny completely. It was a miracle that six so wildly different mares had become such good friends so quickly.
The draconequus placed a paw over his mouth, as if hiding a pitying smile. “It’s like your friendship was planned from the start.”
‘No… this is wrong,’ the mare thought. ‘I’m getting swallowed in his game. W-why am I even listening to him!?’
The doubts vanished. “No… I believe in them. It wasn’t just a lie.”
The silky, sweet, suave intrusive quality of his voice was abruptly lost. “What did you say?”
“I said : I believe in my friends and they believe in me ! I won’t let them down, just as I know they will not let me down! That’s that and it’s final! Your mind games won’t WORK! ”
“Tch, so much for having a nice open debate with you, Twilight. I think I just need better companions,” he grumbled, before snapping his claws and a blinding flash of light made the unicorn avert her gaze.
When she turned her eyes back to that same spot, her jaw fell.
“C-Cadence?!” Twilight shouted in disbelief.
For a brief moment, the purple mare’s heart lightened with relief and joy. For but a brief moment. Quickly, it sunk in her chest and froze.
She had seen the glare the alicorn had sent her way. The realization made her fall on her rump, against the bars of her cage.
The princess’ coat was an unhealthy shade of gray.
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
“Phew, am I glad a meteor struck the factory, incinerated all the killer robots and left me miraculously alive and well.”
I stretched my wings, testing them to see if I had sustained significant injuries. It made me flinch, but it could have been a lot worse. ‘Somehow, I get the feeling I should be a lot less used to this crap than I am…’
I stared at the burned down remains of what used to be a bunch of monsters set on annihilating me and all that those that loved me… all those… well, not every robot can be an overachiever. Then again, it may or may not require extradimensional travel, so who was I to judge?
“Now, to go on my merry way.” I grinned, showing my fangs to whoever was watching me at the moment. With a happy jump, I started skipping around, Pinkie Pie style.
A cold shiver went down my spine mid-jump. With that, I fell face first again the ground. Again.
I turned and then, suddenly, eyes shrinking down to the sizes of tiny silted dots, I gulped loudly, staring at the ginormous black striped cloud and the flashing red alerts. With a startle, I put my all into running away from the chaotic construction, only to freeze when I heard the booming voice that followed.
“ATTENTION CITIZENS OF DISCORDVILLE! THE MORNING DESTRUCTION OF PUMPKINS EVENT WILL START IN FIVE SECONDS. YOU HAVE TWO HOURS TO GET INTO GEARS AND DESTROY PUMPKINS. THIS MESSAGE WAS SPONSORED BY YOUR BENEVOLENT MALEVOLENT RULER OF ALL, DISCORD AND HIS LITTLE DADDY’S BOY, HONEST HAVOC.”
I stopped dead in my track. D-did that cloud just made me accomplice of a pumpkin destroying event?!
“W-what?!”
My blood started boiling. Literally. Tickling sensation aside, steam was coming out of my fur. Every strand of fur on my body was standing on its end, a strange burnt smell coming to grace my nose. I tried to ignore it, but it made me sneeze.
‘W-wait… what am I doing? It’s getting away!’
“YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!” I screamed, feeling the flame of my rage grow within my guts. With all the indignation I could muster, I unleashed all my anger into that shout, willing the lying cloud to evaporate into thin air and explode.
Then, a stream of actual flames shot out of my throat, passing harmlessly on my tongue and the inside of my mouth. Funny, I always figured fire could hurt the gums. Guess I was wrong.
Oh, and also…
“I CAN BREATH FIRE?!”
The following events were only discovered after a massive bribe of cupcakes and pastries changed hooves. Further reading requires acknowledgement of the sacrifice suffered by the royal kitchen and the princesses themselves.
She wasn’t quite sure what had happened. Weird, usually, ponies were looking at her like she had done something extraordinary by pulling a canon out of thin air or teleport between dimensions. For once though, she was the one being a little dumbfounded at the chain of events. The transition from Giant Cave with a dragon thingy to…
Ponyville? And not just any Ponyville! Good ol’ Ponyville, meany mad god and ‘unbalanced sweets not balanced by the perfect ratio of ice cream’ free.
“Oh well, we probably just blasted off that meany pant again while sleep walking.” She shrugged, deciding it didn’t matter all that much. “Or maybe it was the mind-control from the aliens on the third planet in the next solar system.”
Whatever it had been that had saved the day, it was gone now. There was nothing she could do about it now, so the next best thing would be to look around town, trying to find ponies or non-ponies in need of some cheering up. She could guess that a lot of her friends would need somepony to rely on in those times of need.
Quickly, the mare scanned the crowd, hoping that nopony needed her in earnest. That would mean they had been hurt, and she didn’t like that. Luckily, thank chocolate pies for that, all her fellow Ponyville citizens looked peachy.
Happiness around meant she had some time on her hooves to kill. And then give the mouth-to-mouth to, ‘cause she’d never kill anything! Unless they were pastries, but that didn’t count, because pastries were soooooooo good.
The thought made a tingling sensation spread in her stomach and her mouth watered at the idea of sweets. Hmmmmm… a sweet honey aroma filled her nose just from remembering the goodies that were waiting for her at SugarCube Corner.
However, her culinary experiences brought other memories back to the surface.
‘I wonder where that cute little draconicorn stallion is now? Oh, but I’m not supposed to know that’s how they’re called yet,’ she thought, mentally giggling. ‘He tasted so nice with caramel. His horn had a spicy little kick to it too.’
Very strong, with just a tiny itsy bitsy touch of volcanic fume to it. At the memory, which she could almost taste on her tongue, a low rumbling noise reached her ears, just as her stomach seem to rumble.
“Whoopsie,” she said. “I guess it’s time for me to go see if the ice cream was finally delivered.”
Or so she would have done, if, mid jump, she hadn’t seen a very familiar bunch of mares on the other side of the streets. For a very very very very short moment, Pinkie almost didn’t stop, because she was really hungry. Fortunately, that thought was banished to the ‘bad thoughts garbage bin’ presto.
“Girls!” She shouted, zipping to their levels in a blink. “Wanna see my new special party canon batter mix?”
Excited, she wasted no time pulling the trigger, hoping to spray a piece of the world with confetti and streamers. However, just as the canon moved back from the pull, somepony jumped underneath it and stood up, changing the aim completely.
“Applejack?” She blinked, a little shocked that her friend had diverted her party canon. “Why did you do that? Did I forget to add the sugar to the eggs?”
But her friend didn’t make any annoyed remark. Not even a small one. Applejack just looked at her as if she had tried to steal her last apple pie. But she wasn’t one to do that! She’d never steal anything from her friends!
And to her growing tummy freezing terror, the rest of them were also looking at her with a mixture of embarrassment and hostility.
It shook her to the core.
“Girls?”
They didn’t answer; Twilight hadn’t even looked up at all since the moment she had been there. In fact, the poor mare’s head hung low, with an expression of horrible loss and defeat.
Luckily, she had the best on-hoof therapist hidden under her balcony, in case of therapist emergency. “Somepony looks like they need to talk to their best confident, Mr. Smiley!”
“Why do you have to be such a clown all the time?!” Her purple hoof violently swatted the smiley ball away. “Nopony wants to deal with you today!”
Her eyes grew wide as saucers at the unbelievably cold tone Twilight had used. W-why was she saying that? Nopony wanted to deal with her? But their friends liked her! Why would they suddenly be mad at her? She hadn’t done anything wrong!
“B-but Twilight…!” She pleaded, reaching forward.
“Leave me alone!” Her purple friend shouted, recoiling away from her touch.
“But-”
“I said NO!” Twilight suddenly scrambled to her hooves, and galloped as fast as she could.
“TWILIGHT!” Applejack and Rainbow Dash yelled together, running after her.
“T-that wasn’t… the best time, Pinkie.” Fluttershy hid her face behind her mane, still refusing to make eye contact.
“I… what did I do?”
Briefly, the pegasus and the unicorn exchanged a saddened look, followed by a sigh from Rarity. The white mare’s presence seemed diminished, as if something was weighting down on her. “She just received a letter from Canterlot. Her father has passed away tonight.”
If possible, her eyes widened even more, as a horrible feeling settled in the nest of her stomach. Inside her, she could already feel the energy fading away.
“Then she needs somepony to cheer her up! We can’t let her be sad like this!”
There! She said it! They would understand that she had to be there for Twilight! That she had to help her feel better. She didn’t want her to be sad! They understood that, right?
“Just… go home, Pinkie…” The fashionista could not look at her in the eyes. “Please… You’re not the one Twilight needs.”
She was the only one to say anything else to her. One by one, her friends turned around and left. Their slowly shrinking forms filled her with an unbearable cold weight in her stomach. Her legs seemed made of lead and she heard a sizzling noise coming from her mane.
“Applejack? Rainbow Dash? Fluttershy? Rarity?” Her voice trembled, as she started to fight tears. Her mane had fallen across her face; it made it harder to blink away her sadness. “T-Twilight?”
“Please don’t hate me…”
‘Why did everything suddenly turn gray?’ She asked herself, looking sadly at her own hooves. They weren’t pink at all…
The following scene was extracted from the official Royal Canterlot records, cannot be distributed outside of the library and its content must not be divulged to outsiders. Offenders will be prosecuted and risk facing punishments reserved for traitors against the crown.
Are you seriously going to keep ignoring this warning? Of course you are, my little humans, you never really cared much for warnings, did you?
“You might want popcorn for this next part. I created the perfect scenario. Imagine it, it’ll be like Celestia and Luna all over again. Two sisters (in-law, minds you) fighting to the death, until one of the two triumphs and breaks her own heart in the process.”
“Who are you talking to, Lord Discord?” An electric eel asked, piercing the surface of the pool the draconequus had conjured up.
“Oh, I’m just narrating for the sake of those that might listen. So, popcorn or no popcorn?” Discord flashed a bowl of buttery snacks in the face of the talking eel, getting up from his long chair and dropping his sunglasses at the same time.
“No, thank you, sir.” It shook its head, before diving underneath the surface.
“Alright then, let’s get back to business.” The draconequus rubbed his paws together, a malevolent glitter in his yellow eyes.
A few meters away from him, there was a young unicorn who could not care less about the Spirit of Chaos. Her attention was entirely focused on her sister-in-law, whom she had always loved like her own. It was easy, oh so easy to summon back the images of the loving alicorn.
And albeit a tiny voice whispered in her ears about the futility of it all, she still believed in that most naïve hope that this wasn’t just another one of Discord’s tricks.
She stared at Cadence. And the alicorn princess stared back.
Twilight fought a recoil of horror. Love was absent from that gaze. It contained naught but contempt and a touch of a deep seethed hatred.
“C-Cadence…” The younger mare asked, her heart slowly being ripped out by the look the alicorn had sent her way. “N-not you too! Please tell me he didn’t ge-”
“Who put a baby seal and a colt in my path?!” The princess shouted, before violently kicking them both out of her way, which happened to contain a shaking gray colt.
Feeling faint, Twilight dropped to her knees, letting out a small cry of despair. Both! Discord had gotten to them both!
Silently, in a distant corner of her mind, the mare cursed her naivety. To believe there were any moment under Discord’s influence that wouldn’t be shock and surprises… was the same as believing there was mercy in that blackened soul of his. He was just a monster.
“W-who are you, Miss?” The little colt asked Cadence with a trembling voice, backing away quickly from the towering mare every time she took a step forward.
Their little game continued for a minute or so. Eventually, he ran out of space to back into, and his head hit a wall. The poor colt didn’t waste much time on cursing about that little bout of pain, not with such a threat looming over him.
Shaking, pupils shrunken to dots and tail curled up between his legs, the foal’s body betrayed every ounce of fear he felt.
“Urgh,” Cadence muttered with a gag. “Shining Armor, you’re so disgustingly pathetic. Look at you!”
“W-what’s wrong with me?” He sniffed, sounding a bit defensive.
She did not like his tone. Not one little bit.
“What is wrong with you ?!” She yelled, snarling. “Are you kidding me?!”
Shining Armor let out a cry of fear, burying his face under his legs. He could not bear to look at that scary mare.
His reaction only intensified the burning loathing her gaze carried.
“You’re a weakling! A pathetic foal that carries himself like he can protect his loved ones when all you can do is fail and rely on somepony else! When I was all alone in that cave under the castle, I could only cling to the hope that you would never be fooled by that imposter!” She stomped forward, her eyes narrowed on the form of the foal in front of her. “AND WHO CAME TO MY RESCUE?! YOUR LITTLE SISTER, THAT’S WHO!”
“Cadence, stop!” Twilight shouted from her cage. Her eyes were shining with tears. “That’s not you! You’re not hateful! You’re a loving, wonderful pony!”
Something in her broke when Cadence ignored her completely.
“You’re a worthless runt, Shining Armor! A pony who never lives up to his special talent, even at the most critical times.” The former princess of love snarled, rising on her hind legs, one hoof posed to strike. “Not even for yourself.”
“Don’t!” Shining’s sister shouted just as he was hit.
The room, strangely the size of a football stadium now, fell completely silent. A sickening crack had ringed to Twilight’s ears. She was frozen with shock.
S-she could not believe it. Her senses were deceiving her! N-no, what was she thinking!? Discord was deceiving her, the lying, conniving, bucking snake! There was no way her favorite foalsitter could have hit her big brother best friend forever.
Trembling, she pushed the bars of her cage, hoping to dispel that illusion and prove to her brain that it was mistaken, but her prison remained very real.
“No…” She whispered, her throat tightening. “No, no, no!”
But the more frantic she grew, the less probable her hypothesis seemed. Not a detail was wrong about Cadence or her brother, if one ignored her coloration or his age. The scenery was exactly the kind of thing she had come to expect, with moles chasing each other upside down on the ceiling, with the pool in the background singing some low-key opera and the general air of madness emanating from Discord’s direction. She had even picked up the smell of blood. She dared not think of its provenance.
In her heart, Twilight felt something weaken as fire started to pour in her veins.
The draconequus’ yellow eyes narrowed with malicious glee. With a deliberate slowness, he stretched one of his arm, longer and longer, until it was literally in her face. Then, and only then, did he snapped his fingers, and suddenly, she was more than a hundred meters away from her brother and her sister-in-law.
“NO!” Twilight yelled, looking more and more disheveled, as she realized they could not even hear her.
Apart from the distant shouts that were too indistinct to understand, the former princess of love caught only the noise of mastication, of irregular teeth crunching and crushing popcorn. She shot a venomous look at the draconequus, who happily waved back from the top of his Zamboni, but did nothing more.
To him.
Looking down on the whimpering foal at her hooves, her expression once more turned to pure hatred. However, just as she seemed ready to clench her thirst for violence, she picked up a chirping noise. Puzzled, she paused long enough to catch sight of the threat and threw herself backward. A bolt of purple lightning flew inches away from her face.
“Get away from him!”
The corrupted princess raised her hoof again, ignoring the impotent cries of rage from the captive, but stopped short of another hit the next second.
It wasn’t for lack of trying though, as her legs were entwined by purples streams of magic. Shocked by this phenomenon, green light suddenly reflected against the corner of her eyes, Cadence turned toward the cage that was drastically closer than before. The sight inside had her stepping back cautiously.
Under the stunned gazes of two ponies and one pleased Spirit of Chaos, waves of oozing green magic started to leak through the bars of her prison. In the midst of the evil light, the lone figure of Twilight Sparkle was obscured by shadows.
‘Now we’re getting somewhere,’ the draconequus thought, his claws tented together and his mouth twisting into a pleased smile.
You’re curious, aren’t you? But this is not something anypony gets to know.
You don’t care? Fine, but do not complain you were not warned.
Rarity was sitting to her right, Fluttershy to her left, and she was having the time of her life.
“The tea was delightful, Twilight,” her fashion obsessed friend said lightly.
Of course, she was amongst the first to agree. Then, the rest of her friends nodded and added their own interpretation of the preparation they had been given. Hers was particularly eloquent and flattering.
Twilight’s cheek had turned dark purple instantly, while her lips stretched into a very pleased smile. The compliments had touched her.
She didn’t suspect the truth. Not everypony had been very sincere. Perhaps Rarity and Pinkie had truly liked it, but the rests… hadn’t wanted to hurt her feelings.
Starting from her. She absolutely couldn’t stomach the stuff.
“I loved it, really. You think you could give me the recipe for my grandmother’s midday snack? It would do wonder for her rheumatism,” she said pleasantly, taking another sip of the beverage.
It made her sick. She was more of a cider gal. The last guy that had tried to take her cider away had gotten hit with a saddlebag.
But she wasn’t about to tell her friends that. The world was going on fine as it was. Discord was gone, Ponyville was back to normal, her family was safe and sound again. So what if she had to hold her tongue once in a while?
She could do that. It wasn’t a big sacrifice, right? Watching her friends chatter over tea was fun, she would not rather be outside and do things less froufrou-ey.
Her name was Applejack. And she was still the bearer of the Element of Honesty, darn it!
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
“You know, Mister Bellybird McMafersson the Seventh, there is something cosmically unfair about our situations,” I said, staring at him.
The absurd crack in the veil of Reality stared back, making a grunting noise akin to an annoyed sigh. As further sign of its sentience, it glowed ominously in pulsing waves of red light.
“Yeah, yeah.” I rolled my eyes, grabbing a rogue muffin running the streets and biting into it. Its flesh easily crumbled under my fangs, and the delicious taste of grape touched my forked tongue. “Hmmmm… juicy. Anyway, you’re stuck between dimensions, with me as the only creature able to see or hear you, while I have just tripped on a blade of grass. And eaten a banana muffin.”
Instantly, a mute sound reminiscent of whale cries filled the air, leaving me blinking at the windows around us that were cracking and breaking. The impression I got was that he didn’t care!
“Oh come on, McMaffersson! I’m bleeding!” I raised the wounded limb in the air, showing off the cut that had been created by the blade of grass.
An arc of blood followed my movement, explaining my ire and the throbbing pain that had me rolling on the floor in a childish manner. This rolling went full circle, leading me to collide with a walking pony.
“Hey, Miss,” I greeted her politely. “Can you tell my friend here that a serious injury like this does warrant whining of the first degree?”
That charming grey mare, whose trench coat was sloppily resting on her shoulders, gave me a blank look. “Do you know King Sombra?”
Taken aback, I paused, giving it some thoughts. Had I met the guy? It was hard to tell what’s with the crack in Reality next to me. So, sheepishly, I offered my best apologetic grin. “Huh… you mean, personally? I mean, there was that one time when I thought I saw him, but it was in fact a camel with severe back problems and a dragon sleeping on its head, so I guess it doesn’t really count.”
For a moment, the pony blinked at me. Slowly. Actually, scratch that, she was staring at me with the most neutral face possible and the blinking seemed to be only an aftereffect.
Without a word, she turned around and left.
Screams of abject terror do not count as words, do they?
Ears drooping, I felt my shoulders slouch a little. “Well, there was no need to run away screaming like that…”
But not everyone felt that way.
For the first time in my life, I was given the chance to hear Mister Bellybird McMaffersson the Seventh laugh. In all honesty, he sounded like one of those beach balls, you know… ‘boing boing boing…’.
The thought of my misery amusing my new best friend admittedly made a fire spark in my chest, the actually quite sane realization of my pathetic state stinging harshly.
“Shut. The. Everloving. Pudding. Up!” I hissed. “I had enough trouble with the giant flying fortress made of clouds to tolerate an imaginary friend laughing at me.”
The noise intensified, pulsing in synch with the beat of red light, not unlike a giant bloody heart. That was floating in midair. And apparently was sentient.
I’d say it made me see red, but that was too literal for me to express in thoughts. My pupils shrunk into the thinnest lines, I sent the entire intensity of my anger toward McMaffersson’s hilarity. The fur on my body rose, bathing in the light, making even the gray patches appear blood red.
Blood.
Phantom sensations slid down my throat, the lost impression of that delicious nectar of life that couldn’t be refused. From the neck of mad gods – DISCORDDISCORDDISCORDDISCORDDISCORDDISCORDDIS – to the paws of unpleasant cats, it was the best! In my guts, there was already a growing pit that demanded to be filled, like a curled up dragon-nothing that screeched a song unheard in the pyres of madness !
So, yeah, I was really craving blood now. And an itsy bitsy tiny morsel of flesh too. And organs, those tasted great. Oh, and there was that thing with bones, when they make a sweet sweet ‘crunch’. Mmmmmh…
That sounded like fun. FUN!
“Fun!” I made the word roll on my tongue, grinning. Voices in my head started to chant, one of them sounding surprisingly like Pinkie, about all the glorious things to do here! The bubbles of hilarity started to burst in my brain, while I started stotting around. “Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!”
Oh, why hadn’t I done that sooner? Everything really was better with pronking. Pinkie Pie, you endless pool of wisdom and cupcakes!
“Isn’t that right, oh friend of so little compassion?” I twisted around, facing the crack in the mortal planes that had strangely gone silent.
It was still there. There was still this giant line of white in the midair that did nothing but cause all sorts of creatures to look at it and scream in abject terror. That couldn’t have been good for its self-esteem.
Except, it wasn’t really that sort of feeling I got looking at it. There were no winces of sympathy from me, nor the annoyance scratching my nerves like I thought I would get. No, at most, staring at McMacffersson left me with the impression of looking at a colt crossing his legs petulantly over his chest and pouting, just because he couldn’t understand something.
“Oh, McMacffersson, you naïve child of autumn.” My paw went to the entity, passing through it entirely as I tried to pat its head. Figuring he was probably shy, I just went on, taking on a benevolent tone. “You wouldn’t get it if I explained it to you.”
All too suddenly, the edges of McMacfferson dimmed, losing their luminosity in favor of a greying light, that shrunk smaller and smaller. The rays swirled, twisted into a small whirlpool that grew too small to be seen.
With a wet ‘pop’, my newest friend ceased to exist.
For the briefest of moment, I felt the entirety of my being slump down with blackened hopes dashed once more. I was to be alone, right? That was the fate I had given myself, through thoughtlessness and being such a complete ass.
Slowly, I went back on my way. With one more friend lost, I simply didn’t have much to do. The girls would zap the bastard, call it a day and… what?
“I haven’t given this much thought, have I?” I asked a mirror.
The reflection within nodded, then rolled its eyes at the insane guy that would try to talk to an inanimate object, namely me.
Huffing, ignoring the sudden smell of smoke that filled my nostrils, I turned my head left and decided that it was the best direction to follow. And, as my legs carried me forward, I noticed the sparser animation in this area of the town.
It was strange, or so I felt. There were little to no living beings, and just as few non-living beings. One winged frog flew gracefully through the air, chasing a giant mosquito, one that was ridden by an old stallion in a butler uniform.
As they passed me by, a strong gust of air hit my sides, lifting me on my left legs. The world tilted with me, the ground suddenly in an abrupt slope, but with just a flap of my wings, it went back to its normal spot in the universe.
Just another minute in jackass papa’s precious little chaos capital. Eurk.
“Good day to you, sir!” An old raspy voice rang to my ears.
Surprised, I span, intent on seeing the being that had snuck up on me. Except, there wasn’t anything or anyone. The path was deserted for a few buildings worth in length. Thus, the only logical answer was that the butler on the mosquito had greeted me when he was close and the sound only just now decided to exist. How nice of him.
“Happy pumpkin day, sir!” I shouted back.
“Follow your heart!” was the only echo I got in return.
That was too bad. I liked the old guy. He felt like a friend.
Sighing, I trotted back toward the empty zone. There was just something about that place…
The roads were all joined into one big escalator that circled the only building in a five hundred meters radius, which was the model of sanity. Thus my intuition stemmed from elsewhere.
But what could it be? Surely the ominous shadow casted over the street had a link to it all. Maybe. I turned my eyes in the direction opposite to its source.
And saw something that made my heart soar.
Dark clouds floated lazily underneath this beauty of the evil overlord catalogue, occasionally sending bolts of green lightning upward and illuminating the whole thing in a glorious purple light. Spires of obsidian stones, oozing red liquid that emitted the faintest blood-like mist, a general architecture that was as impractical as it was intimidating… The perfect evil lair.
A high-pitched giggle rose from the back of my throat. My limbs were shaking with admiration, small twitches flexing and relaxing all my muscles. I could not fight it any longer, the impulse was oh so strong. I wanted to own that library of doom! The steps would be taken to ensure that I would succeed, starting from the steps that would take me closer to the physical building up till the cliff.
But too suddenly, the grip I had on the edge loosened, with a chunk of rock giving out under my weight. Most of my front half started to tilt forward, and my eyes fell unto the pit of thunderclouds waiting greedily for a victim.
“Whoa nelly!” I yelped, throwing myself backward as quickly as I could.
Pain burst into my backside and my tail, as was normal for flesh hitting solid ground. I took comfort in knowing it could have been a lot worse. Wouldn’t have wanted to fall, right? Falling into the sky sounded so much like not a fun thing. Or didn’t sound like a fun thing.
Plus, what would happen when you hit the ground after falling in the sky?
“Hummmmmmm…” I stroked my chin, letting my mind come up with the fascinating possibilities.
Oh, it would probably cause a complete spatial paradox, resulting in the duplication of the universe where one choice had been different, something that would then be repeated infinitely. And that’s how the multiverse would be born!
Chuckling, I stood up. “First on the list is to enter with the obvious method.”
However, when I looked up toward the magical stairs leading to the castle, I noticed the danger immediately.
“Wait… there’s a door?” I blinked at the hole at the top of the stairs, where one half of a door still hung feebly on its frame. “Ah, that won’t do! That won’t do at all! Who uses doors nowadays? That is such an obvious trap!”
Flapping my wings at the beat of drums in my head, I took off in an uneven, messy flight, with the height stability of a rollercoaster. Thus, the Universe in its entirety shook with shock when the impact with great solid walls of rock blindsided me.
It was my plan all along to crash into a random wall! The pain might have been excruciating, but it remained a necessary suffering for the sake of… whatever I wanted to do here.
Groaning, I pushed myself off the bricks, hating their spherical shapes that made them so awkward to grip. My claws barely sank in between them. It was shaky, but enough to keep me from falling.
Good enough.
“There should be a secret passage here, in this spot I did not even choose,” I muttered, running one of my hooves against the surface. “Probably a massive air vent that is too big to be useful except for sneaking in.”
And because my logic was true, I was rewarded with a satisfying click as my hoof sank into the wall. Seconds later, every brick in front of me disappeared in the blink of an eye. In their places was a gaping hole, filled in all-compassing darkness beyond the first meter, from which came the reassuring soundtrack of a horror movie.
Seeing the perfect opportunity when it was presented to me so clearly, I did not hesitate and threw myself into the secret passage.
“Oh, sweet secret entrance!” I whispered lovingly, stroking the bottom of the aeration conduct with my front hoof.
The cool touch of the metal seemed tailor-made for being as uncomfortable as draconequusly possible. In itself, that would not be very surprising. D did love his clichés, the poor old fart. Ah!
The lingering sensation on my skin gave me a pause. I would be entering the famous something something oak library that Twiley the Spark had lived in for some time. It had to be a great source of knowledge, regardless of affiliations.
“I wonder if they have books that teach you how to be fucking sane again?”
The following scene was extracted from the official Royal Canterlot records, cannot be distributed outside of the library and its content must not be divulged to outsiders. Offenders will be prosecuted and risk facing punishments reserved for traitors against the crown.
P.S The bearer of the Element of Loyalty has personally sworn to beat up anyone foolish enough to share this information.
A blast of wind threw her off her hooves, with enough strength to send her barreling. Its suddenness was enough to stun her, leaving her gasping for air on the ground. Pain flashed through the side of her head, and a strong ringing deafened all noise in her surroundings.
‘W-what the…?’ She thought confusedly. ‘What just happened?’
The impact had blurred her vision, she could not see beyond a fog of broken colors. Her body rested against a half caved-in wall. Broken planks hung at the top of her field of vision.
“Hay…” She grumbled, pushing herself up. “That hurts…”
She blew back the multicolored strands of her mane away from her eyes. Slowly, her eyesight returned to normal.
And she froze at the sight presented to her.
Fire. There was fire, of a strange shade of green, eating at the rooftops of the town. Pillars of smoke were rising from the epicenter of it, and in-between the shadows and the light, she saw the shape of a tower toppling over.
The ground shook, tremors reaching even her bones as if to tell her that it was truly happening.
Ponyville was burning to the ground.
“No!” She shouted, deploying her wings and shooting through the sky. “Nononononononono! What’s going on?!”
What had happened? Why was the town on fire? What could have done all this?!
From her right, another burst of wind came with an unearthly roar and plucked her out from the air. In panic, plummeting toward the ground at high speeds, she used every ounce of experience and talent she had to make an emergency landing, only to stumble and trip when her legs couldn’t keep up with her speed.
Pain erupted in her forehead and in her limbs, but it dulled the next second, silenced by the adrenaline pumping in her veins. The fur on her neck rose when the rhythmic rumble of two immensely heavy feet grew stronger. The one responsible was coming.
Darkness fell from the sky, covered the street. Her own colors dimmed to a darker shade that the flames didn’t reach, and before she could look, a thunderous voice boomed all around her.
“Ah! And here comes Rainbow ‘I’m-a-cocky-bitch’ Dash!”
The insult was so petty, so… childish, that for a moment the desire to save and avenge her hometown took a back seat.
She had to look up, her eyes had to shoot to the figure looming over her.
A dragon stood tall in all of his reptilian fury, from tail to head, greater than the trees and houses around, his jaws unlocked in a mocking grin. His fangs glistened under the light of the disaster he had caused; green reflects giving him an almost ghostly appearance.
Yet, it was not fear that made her resolve crumble.
There was no mistaken those purples scales, not combined with those brilliant green eyes and frills. The realization made bile rise up her throat, and an uncharacteristic tremor shook her wings and limbs.
“S-Spike…?” She said with some difficulty. “What gives, lil’ guy?”
In no time, he was reeling, throwing his upper body forward, as the force of his shout pushed her back further. “Oh, I WONDER ABOUT THAT!”
She scrambled to her hooves, an instinctive fear reeling in her mind as strongly as the ringing in her ears. Too suddenly, she wanted only to fly away from this threat.
Lightning fast, a large purple claw struck the ground, cutting off her escape route, and she was forced to look upward, toward his figure and the scales on his chest that ripples with every searing breath he exhaled.
“I’ve been used, time and time again by you all, without so much as a word of gratitude sent my way. You ignore me when it is time for the rewards, but sure are quick to call when there’s a mess to clean up! I’m just the butt of the joke, and you of all ponies would know it more than the others, isn’t that right, Rainbow Crash? You just want to make fun of other ponies, rub in their face that you’re naturally talented while slacking off as much as you can, leeching off the hard work of others! To think they call you the Element of Loyalty…”
Her lips curled, and already her wings flickered with indignation. It didn’t matter how big and strong he was at the moment, nopony talked to her like t-!
“And I’m not the only one thinking it,” he said with a softer voice.
She was not given the time to ponder, for another familiar friend shouted from her side. “Where have you been?!”
But the question didn’t ring of relief. Not the relief of finding a friend in the middle of a disaster-zone. Not the relief of seeing her well and alive, as much as it was possible. There had been fury expressed through the words alone.
“Y-you guys…” She called after the five mares assembled.
So close to her, in the shadow of an alley, the five of them had gathered without her notice. When she got to see them clearly, she found herself wishing they had stayed hidden.
Applejack’s eyes couldn’t be seen behind her Stetson, but the trails of tears rolling down her cheeks were clearly visible. Her mouth moved again and again, with only choked sobs coming out, though the one word she was trying to say conveyed already too much anguish. ‘Bloom’, she hissed through the pain, and, as if it was a summon, a delicate white hoof pulled her into a hug. Rarity seemed disheveled, her mane completely out of place, dark lines of make-up smearing her face. A haunted look to her eyes denied any serenity her words were trying to give her friend; her usually pristine coat was now sullied by patches of sooth and ash. Neither had the guts to look at the destruction around them.
Fluttershy, on the contrary, could not stop looking. Her gaze was lifeless, devoid of any warmth, compassion, shyness, anything at all that made her Fluttershy. Both her wings were blackened and covered in cracks. Her hoof was held by Pinkie, whose mane had deflated and hung limply, half burned off her face. There was no joy or energy in her.
A part of her died just witnessing what they had gone through. An even larger part of her fell into agony when her gaze met Twilight’s and she realized…
She realized, through the disdain and the barely constrained tears, that Spike wasn’t the one they blamed.
“Good riddance,” Twilight only said, and one by one, they turned their back on her.
She stared, eyes wide and jaw hanging low. She stared, frozen on the spot, an incredulous voice whispering to her how this could not be, how this could never happen, and yet that voice was so feeble. All five mares were already gone, not even a glimpse of their tail could be seen. They had all left.
Years spent together, all forgotten in the time it took to say a few words. The mad gods hadn’t mattered, nor did the dragons or the desperate saves, not the countless sacrifices, not even her giving up on a shot at her dream in their defense. It had all been swept under the rug.
And Rainbow Dash’s chest started burning with flames hot enough to kill a dragon.
(Against that fire, the Element of Loyalty faltered.)
“How could you do this to me?!” She shouted. “After all the times I’ve saved your rumps, THAT’S how you repay me?! HOW COULD YOU?!”
She paused in the middle of her tirade, her chest heaving equally with lack of air than her pure rage. Already, her mouth was opened for a greater spilling of wounded fuel venom, when her ears picked up a sizzling noise, barely giving her the time to fly away from the fireball that crashed behind her.
Seething, her wings flapping quickly to maintain her airborne, she snarled at the traitor. She snarled at his anger, at playing the victim when he had already taken so much from them all, at being the trigger for this. A nameless, pitch-black emotion surged through her mind, demanded the worst of his fate, and she was only too eager to answer that command.
On reflex, she looked back, half expecting to see AJ, Rarity or Pinkie ready to mindlessly charge into the fray with her. But, of course, there was only an empty spot where she had imagined them to be.
She was alone.
They left her. They went their way and left her alone to die at the hands of a rampaging monster.
Close to her chest, where the Element of Loyalty rested, there was no ruby, but a gem of a sickening gray.
She did not notice.
Her heart pumping with fury, she leaped into the air toward her target: her gigantic dragonic ex-friend . First, she’d rip those emerald eyes of his, tear his wings apart, beat him up until he was blue, LEAVE HIM FOR DEAD …
…And THEN…
Then she would take care of the others…
Are you sure you want to keep reading on? This is not going to be pretty. Hehe… hehehehe… hahahahaha… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA! Oh, why am I writing this? You don’t really want to hear it. Well, you don’t have much of a choice now.
A purple hoof stomped next to the head of a pink alicorn.
Purple mist flowed out of green tainted eyes.
And bubbles of black magic grew in preparation of the final blow.
Author's Note
Yeah, I have nothing else to say. Sorry.
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
Cross-examinations were required for the reconstruction of this scene. Three scribes admitted an incapacity to follow the bizarre recollection of one of the witnesses and subsequently quit their jobs. If you cannot appreciate their sacrifices and mine by keeping your mouths shut… You… you… YOU’LL RUE THE DAY HE WAS EVER BORN!
A magnificent piece of jewelry floated over the analytical eyes of a white unicorn. Though she did seem quite fond of the artistry, of the metalwork and the gems, her smile expressed but one thing.
Hers. (Greed) It was hers. (Greedy) Did she not deserve the very best of it all? (The greediest of all)
Ah! Was it even worth asking that question? Of course she did, and those that thought otherwise would understand her fury. She wanted it ALL , and would not stop before it was all hers.
Laughing, the bearer of the Element of Generosity threw herself in a pile of gold and precious gems, completely ignoring the stabs of pain that plagued her body then. She was queen, she had it all, ALL!
Oh no, no, that was not enough. She needed to have more. And the thought would have made her giggle, had it not been for a sound she had not expected to hear.
Percussions.
From some spot she could not see behind the mountains of gold, gems and jewels, somepony had to be beating up drums . In her treasure room, that just so happened to be hidden in another dimension through a series of complex identification and warping spells.
The concept struck her as so out of place it gave her a pause from her greedy thoughts. That small hesitation was enough for her to hear the rising, smooth, tenor voice of a stallion. His was a song of celebration and happiness. All to the same repeating rhythm of drums.
To the first beat was added another, though one more fitting what she would call an ‘espionage’ play, like the one her little sister had tried creating. More puzzling was the fact that this one seemed sung by a little filly, precisely. The beat was rhythmic and rapidly approaching a crescendo, to which an old stallion added his voice.
And it did not stop! The songs kept piling on one another, echoing from every pipe and every corner of the treasure room, into something of a bizarre concert! The notes added themselves together, came in contradiction and the voices would not stop, until finally… there was a moment of almost silence… with only a single pony humming softly.
~ …ake yourself belieeeeeve! ~
‘Above!’ she thought, and looked up on the spot.
Her pupils shrunk in shock.
“TADAAAAAAAAH!” A bizarre being shouted, stretching his wings and forelegs wide. Then, in one fell swoop, dropped down from the ventilation system, onto the golden floor.
He seemed proud of his entrance, so to speak, as his mouth was twisted into a grin that showed all his fangs. For the shortest time, the corrupted mare hesitated in front of that mouth that looked like it belonged to a dragon. But already the pangs of envy and desire clouded her mind. And no longer did she care about the mismatched wings and the flicking lion tail, or the reptilian eyes. She only cared about what was hers .
“What are you doing here?”
He ignored her, suddenly taken aback by the majesty of her treasure. “Shiny!”
A spike of protectiveness went through her mind and soul at the thought of anything else trying to depart with what was hers. “Don’t you dare!” she shrieked, a blast of magic flaring from her horn and hitting the thing straight on its muzzle.
The blast pushed him back with a whiney yelp, and it took it a moment to get back in a normal non-twisted position. Then, he started acting up even more, in ways not quite expected. He licked his lips, opening and closing his mouth quickly, and clicked his tongue pensively. Not what she thought would happen. “That was kinda blue.”
Slowly, Rarity came to the realization that this thing was stretching her sanity in ways not dissimilar to Pinkie Pie – why was her chest suddenly painful? – and that she could not let it play its games. Scrunching her nose, she talked as if swallowing a bitter pill. “Who… are you?”
He took no note to her qualms; he just scratched the back of his head sheepishly, chuckling while a blush spread across his face. “That’s easy. I’m a saiyan!”
Rarity blinked, unable to process what that declaration was supposed to mean.
So did the [censored]. Then, quite suddenly, he half-lunged, his front legs lifted in a moment for patience. “No… wait! I meant to say that I’m insane.”
Rarity blinked again, though her eyes started to narrow.
“There! That makes more sense.” He chuckled. “Can you imagine? I’d have sprouted yellow hair and turn into a giant monkey looking at the full moon.”
The idea seemed indeed amusing, to him to say the least. More than a little in fact, and his barrel swelled with laughter greater and greater by the second.
The horrid noise broke Reality a little.
She shot him a look, so full of disgust that he shivered.
--
Her cold icy gray eyes went over my form, passing a silent judgment that made me unexpectedly nervous. There was just something about the way the gray of her fur and her mane and her eyes made it all as fun as being a kid caught stealing cookies. But there were not even hints of affection in there, as you would expect a guardian to feel toward their child, just the disdain and the disgust that comes with being confronted with a particularly unpleasant person. Bubbles of fierce shyness exploded in my brain, spreading as a blush over my face while she was grayingly deciding if I was worth her gray time.
…Rarity was definitely gray all over.
…Oh… noooooo…
A little high-pitched squeak left my mouth.
“Please don’t be mean? I have the willpower of a teapot. And a non-talking one to boot. If you know what a boot is. Do you? Because it’s a thing you put on your feet, or maybe hooves here, though paw also works somewhat for me. Then again, I was also told by a really charming workshop with a most elegant hat that it would be a gauntlet if I were to put something on my paw. So you get what a boot is, right? Huh, well, okay, let me start over-”
A magical aura sealed my lips shut, and four worlds cried out in relief and were suddenly silenced.
“Humph, I suppose you would make a decent accessory,” she claimed with a roll of her eyes.
‘Little old me? An accessory? But I was so dashing,’ I thought with a smidge of pride. ‘A carpet is a better thing! I must tell her!’
So, opening my mouth, I prepared to tell her exactly why I was much better suited for decorative purposes than those of a warrior. The wind was beneath my sails, I could feel it. It would be a speech for the ages!
“Gargle!”
‘Oh I’m just so eloquent…’
“Aren’t you eloquent?” she replied dryly.
“You’re a mind reader!” I gasped.
A pang of fear struck me when her voice dropped another pitch and a growl forced itself out of her throat. My ears flattened against my skull; already I was falling on my rump with my front legs raised and shouting “Sorry!” as loudly as possible. I had the intimate conviction that a discorded Rarity would still want to punch my face in, but nothing came of it. A gigantic speaker appeared out of nowhere in a cloud of puff pastry and confetti, right between us.
And if before I thought I knew horror, nothing prepared me to seeing an unfazed Rarity covered in pink ice cream.
Oh for the love of a random fruit!
Then, while the need to chastise myself for my profanity became great, an old man started to blast from the speakers. Still, why did the voice seem confused?
“Wait… Honest... What are you doing here?”
‘Oh, that’s why.’
“I was playing spy, then I fell,” I said, then leaned forward to whisper, “because of fridges and astral alignments.”
“Oh, spoken like a nice little madthing. And things are not going as planned, that’s fantastic! I may grow fond of you yet, [censored].”
“Awww,” I cooed. “You’re just trying to make me vomit.”
“I assure you, boy, that I have no intent to see the content of your secondary stomach.”
“EXCUSE ME?” Rarity yelled, trotting up to the speakers. “Can I know why you seem to be giving all your attention to somepony else? I’m here, in the room, hellooooooo!”
And for good measures, she bucked the thing once or twice.
“Oh, of course, my little greedy horse.” Discord chuckled on the other end of the line, the same old despicable crap he always pulled. “All in due time. Which should be now.”
There was the sound of someone clearing their throat. Then, a few seconds of silence to create suspense.
…
“I’ve decided that only one of you will be allowed to stay here. The other will have to fall.”
‘Fall?’ I found myself asking.
My legs started to sink into the ground. With a yelp, I jumped back and saw the floor collapse, exactly where my hooves had been before. Already, my wings were spreading wide but a bolt of pain struck my sides as a metallic strap forcefully folded them back.
‘Can’t fly, can’t fly, can’t fly!’
Things started to unravel too quickly. A fissure circled my position, cracking the ground in two. Everything not on my side fell, as if there was no longer anything to support it. At once, piles of gold started to tilt, shriveling in rivers and torrents of precious metal into that gaping pit, while Rarity could only shriek in anger. Precious items and worthless junk alike started to floated, lifted by her telekinesis over the fuming hole that had swallowed the entire room but ourselves. And with the red hue that came from below, and the rising currents of hot air, it felt as if the gates to Tartarus had opened.
My vision blurred, its edges becoming naught but worthless information as every parcel of focus available to me had zoomed around the room, looking for any possible exit. But there were none. Rarity and I were standing on floating rocks that somehow had not joined the rest of the treasure into the burning hole. The claws on my paw were deep in the ground, and it was all I could do not to slip and cry. Every beat of my heart was faster than the last, every pulse of blood in my veins made my sight jumped. It beat on my temples, on my head. My mind started to break under the rising panic.
There had to be a way to get out of here! Surely a random event would help us, like a wizard bringing to life a sixty-five millions years old fossil of a dinosaur to combat zombies! There! T-that should DO THE TRICK, RIGHT?! RIGHT?!
Nothing worked.
All my strength leaving me, my knees buckled and I fell to my sides painfully. “N-no… I… I don’t want to die…” I cried, my voices breaking into sobs.
Then, for the first time since I had met her, Rarity’s eyes shone with a familiar light. In spite of herself, in spite of the discordance in her mind, she moved one hoof in my direction, as if she wanted to comfort me. But… wasn’t that…?
A shiver ran through her fur, like a ripple of pale gray that washed away half of her colors. She jolted, startled, and it seemed her reaction was echoed by a sudden flash of light from the necklace around her neck. Understanding dawning on her, Rarity’s glance went to the pit below, then back to me.
“Y-you took care of Sweetie Belle, didn’t you?” she asked, her voice so decidedly fragile, unlike anything I’d heard before. “Even with the world this way, you did it, right?”
It surprised me. Just a while ago, she wanted to beat me up, and after that she thought I would be dashing placed on somepony’s mane – not that I wouldn’t be, of course, but still! Now, there was almost a supplication.
Without knowing why, I nodded.
For a second, Rarity remained silent, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. It seemed as if the mortal danger we were in had disappeared, for in that moment she commanded my whole attention. When finally she looked back, her voice was of steel.
“Tell them…” Her eyes had never shone with so much determination before. “For the love of Celestia, swear you will tell them how much I love them all!”
My mind came up with a blank. I didn’t understand what she had said. It didn’t register! She was just there, with her magic around the Element on her neck, and I could just stare with no idea of what was happening!
“What are you doing…?”
“Taking somepony’s life?” she repeated, incredulous. “It wouldn’t be very generous now…”
As if some outer influence had reign in my deranged mind, things clicked into place.
“I’ll regret this splendid jewelry, but it’s not something we can afford to lose.” She flickered her head to the side, and her mane followed. With a small shaking, her hoof ventilated her face. “Catch!”
A blue light went through the distance over the pit.
There was a clink of metal as a golden necklace clattered to my hooves, and I understood. Eye widening, I stared at the Element of Generosity given to me. Everything clicked, and a monstrous beast started to claw at my insides, making me dizzy, making the world spin. I would have never thought that relief could be such a horrible thing.
But through the haze, I picked up on the sound of hooves against granite, only for it to die down as fast as it had appeared. My head snapping up, I saw her standing at the edge.
Her eyes had taken on a humid glint, and the muscles on her neck were tensed. “T-tell them…”
And she stepped over the edge, falling, falling, falling , her mane started to swirl and batted her face, she’s falling, she’s going to die! She wasn’t even using magic! No, no, no, not Rarity, not like this, I didn’t want-! , her eyes closed, with pearling tears glinting in the red light of the molting lava. GOD NO!
“RARITY!” I shouted as I jumped over the edge, my binds breaking.
But I know I didn’t reach her. The light blinded me before that.
--
Dear readers, it always come back to this with you, doesn’t it? DON’T SPREAD THE WORDS!
Her breathing was heavy, a series of guttural pants that came as misty as the magic that came from the corner of her eyes. Her hooves burned, with pain and numbness from repeated contact with the body beneath her. She could not think clearly.
All she knew was the BITCH was trapped underneath her, black streams of magic holding her in place. Her enemy could not move or speak. She didn’t want to hear anything that could be said. It was time for her to show the world what happened when you messed with Twilight Sparkle’s loved ones.
E-even if you were one of those same precious persons…
Ah! She shook her head, grunting. Why was she thinking about that now? Clearly, someBITCH had made her choice, there was nothing more to be said. Time for payback!
Yet her mind supplied her with another memory.
There had been another time… another moment in time when she had had Cadence at her mercy. She remembered dampness, a dark cave and crystals… She remembered the thoughts that had come to her at that time. How it had almost possessed her. But that time…
~Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake…~
The magic around her horn flickered.
~Clap your hooves and do a little shake!~
Frizzled. Shorted out.
“Cadence…”
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
These pages were found added later to this report. Nopony knows for sure how and when they were added. When questioned, neither Princess chose to comment on it.
Sharing this information with anyone outside of the selected few indicated on the list at the beginning of this report is permitted. Knock yourselves out.
It was painful. It hurt. Who’d have thought the little guy would grow up to kick flanks like that?
Eh, had she known… Well, nothing, really. She wasn’t treating her friends differently whether they could beat her up or not. That had nothing to do with it.
Unlike others!
The thought flared with bitterness. She could still see the others turning their back on her, literally turn their back! Just upfront left her to deal with a rampaging dragon boy, with the admitted wish that it would kill her!
She’d show them! She’d make them understand just what it meant to betray her!
She swerved to the side, evading the furious blow with ease. Everything was almost telegraphed. Spike might have been rampaging, but he was also a kid with no experience or even idea on how to fight.
Ah! All power, no technique. He wasn’t a real threat to her , Rainbow Dash, self-proclaimed best pegasus in Equestria and soon-to-be dragon slayer. Oh yeah, ten minutes top, then there would be a lifetime supply of wallet material in Ponyville.
Then what? Relish in the pain that it would cause Twilight? Ah, that sounded pretty funny. Two birds with one stone and all that!
Two birds…
R-right! It would be awesome to just flatten Spike into a pancake and show Twilight how painful it was… to lose a friend…
(A grey gem flashed red.)
Nonsense! What was up with her?! Why was she acting all mushy?! They’d betrayed her! THEY HAD BEEN THE ONE THAT HAD BEEN DISLOYAL!
But the image that flashed before her eyes wasn’t that of a nerdy unicorn. The figure had talons and a beak, great wings that were even stronger than hers. The voice was rougher, with a sharp edge to it. The memory changed rapidly, from a younger to an older form, from their first meeting to their last. Another door, this one closed in her face.
‘No!’ she could not help but think.
And, as she vainly tried to forget those memories, she noticed that thinking about this loss left her with a hollow cavity within her guts.
It tasted bitter to remember, to see the parallels now. She didn’t want to go through that, not with her greatest friends, not again. Deep down, there still existed a flicker of hope that Gilda would come back, that she would apologize and that they’d be friends like nothing had ever happened! A lot of time may have passed, but that wasn’t enough to burst her bubbles.
She had faith that her friend would come back someday. It hadn’t been a lie. What they had had together? Had been real, no doubt about it. She’d seen her cry – once, but that was far more than anypony in the whole of Equestria could say about a griffon. They had been friends, real friends, for years, and they had had each other’s’ back for as long as she could remember.
One day…
And… hay… if she could keep hoping for Gilda, what stopped her from believing in the others? They’d… left her to die… DIE! How could she ever trust them after that?! She had never ever thought such a thing could ever happen, it just seemed so unbelievable, that was why it hurt so much. She hadn’t seen it coming, she’d trusted them!
But of course Fluttershy would just leave her alone in pain. It was just like Applejack to throw her in the mud so she can stay ahead. And Twilight could be such a stuck-up egghead!
A shadow started to cover her body again, and she knew why there was a hole in her chest where the warmth used to be.
Pinkie had left her!
(Yet she would not ditch her when it was just taking the fall for a prank.)
Huh…
(Cheers – lame cheers, she thought – for the biggest competition in her life.)
(A dragon… A red dragon, looking over her, then…)
Fluttershy.
(A tearful confession, the first time the madness had washed over Equestria and a group hug the very next second.)
She’d chosen, she had chosen Cloudsdale !
(“We understand, Rainbow. He tricked everypony.”)
How could her friends leave her like that? It just didn’t fit.
(The Element of Loyalty started to shine.)
How was it even possible?
And, with a chuckle, she remembered very eggheadish words. “Often the simplest solution is the right one.”
“WHAT’S SO FUNNY, RAINBOW TRASH?!”
That one hit her square in the back.
She thought she would pass out for a second. Everything around her had exploded in white pain. It had flashed in her eyes, then she came to meet the ground. The air was brutally knocked out of her.
Her head was swimming, thoughts happening in disorder. Her wings were sore, though thankfully not broken. She had no idea if the same could be said for her legs, or anything else inside. Nausea made her breathing shallow.
“Y-you know…” she slurred, staggering to her hooves. “I let my anger… get the better of me. I let my passion get the best of me. I’m hot-blooded, I know that, Spike. But I know other things too.”
She looked up, saw him on the verge of crushing her and ending this. She wasn’t that worried.
(There was warmth over her chest, warmth that upset the agony and soothed her mind.)
“Loyalty is a two-way street.” Her voice was kept light, even though she swore it should have trembled. “You don’t see it if there isn’t anyone there with you. Without anyone or anything there, you’ll just fly in a straight line.”
“AH!” The dragon bellowed in laughter. “I guess that explains why you never fly well. It’s always the crash and trash with you! Eh, if I knew, I would have gone out of my way just to make sure I was one more reason for you to faceplant.”
She ignored it, in part due to long time practice at no paying attention to mocking words. Her voice was stronger, and she looked at him in earnest. “Except, you know Spike, it was never an issue for me to fly ahead, I’ve always trust them to have my back. That’s why backstabs hurt.”
There was silence. This time, he could not bring himself to laugh. Neither could she. The memory was still much too raw.
“But, even now, when I think about it…” She heard the dragon snort, making an acidic comment under his breath, but she paid it no mind. “It doesn’t make sense. Why would they do this to me? To you?”
And with her question, Spike became immobile, any and all retort dying in his throat. He seemed hesitant, one paw risen but unmoving, with a haze over the emerald of his eyes.
“The truth, Spike? They wouldn’t. Our friends are not that kind of ponies. This whole thing? I don’t believe it, and if it is real, then I’ll do my earnest to change it.”
“Come at me, Spike,” she asked, gently, without bravado. It was no taunt or challenge, just a request, like one would ask their friends, and it sounded gentle. “I know you’re not that kind of dragon. You’re the little guy that Twilight raised. You’re the dragon that would bend over backward for Rarity because you like to help her. You’re the one that laughs without even a hint of bitterness when Pinkie and I play pranks on you. You’re our friend. And all of us ought to have treated you better than we did. So, let’s start over again.”
Her hoof was extended without a hint of doubt or hesitation.
His green eyes fell on it and flickered. Just for a moment, he seemed like he wanted nothing more than take it, and cry his eyes out to her. Then, he roared.
With staggering speed, Spike launched himself forward, his right paw falling over her body and pinning it to the ground. The left was high above his head, his claws reflected the sunlight.
She was at his mercy.
“Well, too late for that!” Spike thundered. “If you hadn’t noticed, they’re all gone! They all told you how little they cared about you! About ME!”
The dragon’s tears fell, and, for all his strength and height on her, Rainbow Dash could no longer see anything other than the nice little boy that had followed them around.
She waved it off, showed the concerns were misplaced. Lies, so to speak.
“I’m pretty sure they’ll come around. They won’t be able to live without our collective awesomeness. I know it.” Rainbow Dash grinned, cocky, confident, with all the courage that made her the number one candidate for the Wonderbolts. Every ounce of her faith was turned toward the rampaging friend that stared at her with anger. “Just like I know, Spike, that you’re not going to do this. We’re friends.”
It shook. In the air, above their heads, the paw shook, as did the boy’s resolve. His gaze held a question for her, one that he feared too much to ask himself. Could he? Could he actually do it?
She did not falter. Nor let up her confidence.
When the claws came down, she didn’t move.
--
She was still chasing her, she did not want to give up yet. Gray or not, she was still the Pink…ie Pie and that meant everypony was happy around her. E-even if that ‘everypony’ dwindled into just one pony that kept ignoring her again… and again… and again…
She wasn’t crying, Pinkie Swear! She had to help Twilight! That was number one priority!
It was why she had ran after her, in the middle of the town and stopped her at the town square.
“Twilight… please…” she begged . “I-I just want to make you smile…”
“Damn it, Pinkie!” Twilight snarled, her face so uncharacteristically hostile. “Can’t you get a clue?! You’re making it worse !”
She was only trying to help…
“Just leave. You hear me? LEAVE!” And her horn glowed to grab a nearby fruit from the stalls to hurl at her.
It squished against her forehead, hitting her square between the eyes and splashing sticky juice all over her face. It didn’t really hurt… not physically. No, nothing could really compare to seeing one of her bestest friend pick up another object to throw at her.
Shaking, she offered a very flashy pink cupcake to the scowling mare that was her friend. “You’re closing up on everypony… Please come back to us…”
“I can’t believe how dense you are. Don’t you understand?! I don’t want to see you! All you ever do is play and make fun of others and act like nothing is ever important! You’ll never understand me! I don’t want you as a friend!”
‘I don’t want you as a friend…’ those words hurt so so much. It was like a tummy ache, except a lot stronger, as if her heart was deflating just like her party balloons. She almost started sniffling, right there, because she really didn’t want to lose her precious friends. Yet, there was a little something else she noticed, not much, but it was enough to pull the light bulb in her head and push it over her head.
With a confident smile, she pulled the trigger and the bulb shone bright.
“No, Twilight!” She pushed away the new source of light and stashed it away for a later emergency. This was another kind of emergency, one that required her to be a light in the dark. And shine she would! “YOU’RE the one that doesn’t understand!”
For a second, Twilight stared at her with a frown, though the corners of her mouth were starting to move downward. Oh she was angry, annoyed that this one Pinkie Pie was not giving up so easily, but being implied not to know something was a sour spot so obvious that it made her just curious enough to hold her tongue.
“Can’t you see, silly?” She giggled. “It’s never been about me and the funny things. Even if they’re fun and I like doing that, it’s not for me.”
The purple unicorn faltered, her prepared harsh words withering before even leaving her mouth.
“It’s about showing you a little something more to live for.” She poked Twilight in the chest, then grabbed her and pointed over the horizon, the sun rising in the brightening dawn. “It’s about showing you that even in the dark, even when you can’t find it in you to giggle at the ghostly, there’re friends that will do it for you! Even if it means learning ventriloquism and put on a Twilight mask.”
Then, there was one such lavender colored and flavored and perfumed mask over her face, and she adjusted her voice just like one would do to be as close to the original as possible.
“The link between a word and its reality is the accumulation of all a pony’s experience with the reality the word refers to,” she said very formally, with the tone Miss Cheerilee used in her classes. “Hay, we’ll go to the Mirror Pool together, then you’ll be able to listen to yourself reciting theories and have somepony understand it all, as an equal! That would be fun, right?”
“Stop, stop, stop!” her friend shouted. “I don’t need you! You’re a clown that doesn’t understand loss!”
She dropped the mask and slowly came to a halt, a long and saddened sigh leaving her chest.
“Twilight, I’m really super-duper sorry about what happened to your father, but you can’t let it dictate your life. When Granny Pie died, I thought not a single party in the world could ever make me happy…” She pawed at the ground, the precious memories flowing back in her mind and showing her all the best granny in Equestria did for her… “But I did mourn her and I did come back. You need courage to triumph over this hardship.”
The unicorn’s eyes flared up dangerously. “Pinkie, stop it! I told you I don’t want your help! WE’RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE!”
Pinkie’s eyes widened and couldn’t summon her voice.
But when the ‘grief’-stricken unicorn turned around, a satisfied smile on her lips, she came face-to-face with a pair of steely, determined, teary blue eyes. Before she had even made a gasping noise, a pink hoof covered her mouth and another moved to pull her closer.
“Right now, you’re in that dark place where it’s hard to laugh. You’ve been there for months now and the others just leave you there because you ask! You’re in the hooves of that cold sadness that just sticks to the fur like a badly balanced baked goods batter! You’re sad, you can’t find it in you to get over the loss and you’re stuck in there, but I’m going to dive headfirst in it as if it was chocolate pudding. Chocolate, PUDDING! You hear me?! ” she suddenly shouted, her face turning red and her eyes narrowing threateningly. “Your father would want you to move on, to pull through this sadness. And. We. Will. Pull. Through.”
Twilight’s eyes widened almost comically. AS swiftly as possible by the laws of physic, she nodded to placate the clearly mad mare advancing on her and punctuating her words with wild stomps.
“TOGETHER!”
The unicorn stumbled to keep her balance. No! She was losing control of the situation! She had to-!
She blinked and in the time she had done that, a cannon’s barrel had appeared to stare at her. A pastel blue cannon, manned by one very pink and very passionate earth pony. Who also seemed to be holding a trigger rope in her hooves.
“So get ready, Twilight Sparkle, ‘CAUSE HERE COMES PINKAMENA. DIANE. PIE!”
The Element of Laughter ignited and confetti flew.
--
“I’m so glad Discord is banished and his [censored] is dead. Those monsters deserved it.”
“Yeah!”
Fluttershy … Fluttershy had been the one to say it.
The others had quickly agreed. She had agreed to. That was a lie the truth after all. No need to get her tail in a twist about it. She was just happy to be with her friends. She was happy that the problems had been solved, that things were back t-to nor-… to normal.
She ignored the bile rising in her throat.
Rarity had grabbed her hoof and had demanded confirmation from her that she wished nothing more than to accompany her on a few weeks long trip to Canterlot and Fillydelphia, all to get royal treatment. No farming for a while, her true passion was in mane care.
Of course she agreed.
She loved frou-frouey stuff. It was the best.
Like this tea. Delicious. Simply delicious, a pleasant grace on her tongue, something that made alicorns sing gospels in her ears.
Ah… haha… Her mouth stretched into an unconvincing smile. The others all bought it.
And Twilight started talking about her project to join the hoofball team led by Rarity’s father. She had always dreamed of it.
There was insanity at play here. She knew that, or perhaps she simply had persuaded herself that there was. She could not tell the difference nowadays.
Or could she?
Consarnit! Why couldn’t she just have this much?! She wanted her family to be happy and safe! She wanted her friends to be the same, all Ponyville, and Equestria and even beyond that! That was the most important thing. The rest? Details.
She had it, right now. Everypony was happy. It just hinged on a little white lie.
Spike walked by the corner of her eyes, carrying a tray of tea cups for them to pick. When he gave one to Rarity personally, he received a quick peck on the cheek and a nice compliment that made him blush bashfully. His laugh was such a nice sound.
She had a soft spot for kids like Spike: hardworking, honest and with his heart on his foreleg. He really deserved the best, just like her friends did.
Deserved the best of herself.
She took one long shaky breath, then placed the cup back on the table.
“Sorry, Ah’m not really a fan of this one.”
Complete silence fell over the table.
Twilight eyed her curiously. “Surely you don’t mean that, Applejack. Don’t you love tea? You said you did just a minute ago.”
“You would not want to insult our dear Spikey-Wikey’s cooking, right?” Rarity added lovingly toward the little dragon.
(She heard a crystalline sound coming from around her neck.)
Her hoof returned to her chest. No, no, no! She couldn’t let herself be swayed, not anymore. It was like biting her tongue, swallowing a bitter remedy from Granny, but, albeit not fun at all, it was necessary !
She didn’t get to choose what was real or not.
“Bloom’s still gray, ain’t she?”
“Don’t worry, silly,” the Pinkie lookalike said while throwing her hooves in the air. “I saw all three crusaders looking really happy this morning. I have a feeling they are going to earn their cutie mark soon.”
The pink mare winked and giggled, nudging her sides as if to ask ‘That would be the best thing for them, right? RIGHT? Come on, you know that’s the bestest thing ever, don’t deny it!’
Her heart squeezed. Oh, that was just unfair! She already had to see her little sister fail to get the point over and over again, with that sweet filly getting disappointed every time. It felt like a blow to the chest. But…
(An apple jewel turned orange. Ironically enough.)
She looked her most refined friend in the eyes. “Opal still can’t get along with mah brother, right?”
Rainbow Dash’s raspy voice joined the debate. “Opal is only the most loving cat in town, Applejack. It would never and NEVER did hurt your brother. In fact, your brother is spectacularly healthy and his work is so good the farm is not in any danger. That’s what we’re celebrating, remember?”
“Say an apple’s an orange, believe it or not, it’s still a lie.”
“What are you going on about, Applejack?” Rarity stood up, a frown of concern appearing on her face.
“Hay,” she snorted, struck by an amusing notion. “Ah might even say that mean ol’ snake will win, Ah might believe it with all mah heart, but that won’t ever make it true.”
Her friends froze. She, on the other hoof, stood with all her might, throwing her sitting cushion against the closest bookshelf. She ripped the tablecloth from her neck, pulled the pin away from her mane and let it loose. If there had been a puddle of mud around, she would have jumped in it just to prove the point.
She looked at each and every one of her friends in turns, glaring so hard that they were unable to even meet her gaze. Not even Rainbow Dash dared this time. “The Truth is, it hurts, it’s a darn’ root in the road yeh trip on, but it’s still there, even if yeh decide not to look at it!”
Her hoof collided with the table, threw off every empty cup off it while Fluttershy and Rarity scrambled to get them. Under their breaths, they were muttering about the delicious tea spilling.
She gritted her teeth harder. How could she ever let them do that to her?! She was even ashamed of letting them play the darn role .
“An’ the Truth, the one true thing here, it’s that none of y’all would ever say: ‘We killed somepony, who cares?’. It ain’t right, and if yeh think y’all can make me swallow THAT snake, yeh’ve got another thing comin’!”
“Hey! You were on board at the time, don’t blame it all on us!” Rainbow Dash shouted hotly.
“No! Ah won’t shut up, Rainbow! Just like y’all shouldn’t!”
Her heart was pounding so hard it made her head spin. This was nonsense! She’d given up for a whole fat load of nothing.
“Spare a lil’ feeling, hide a lil’ fault, just go the easier route, eh?” she asked with as biting an irony she could make. “There’s a sayin’ in mah family: ‘Tartarus is reached one step at a time’. An’ guess what? Ah’m not heading there, an’ yeh’d be a mighty fool thinkin’ Ah’ll let y’all walk down that path!”
She forced her hoof into Twilight’s mouth, who had looked just about ready to give a longwinded explanation on how she was delusional.
“Ah see the Truth, and Ah’m not looking away this time!” she declared with a tone that accepted no compromise.
(The Element on her chest became akin to a burning star.)
“This ain’t Ponyville!” She jumped on the table, startling all the fakes. “Yer not mah friends!” Her legs slammed against the wooden structure, shaking it to its foundation and beyond. The hit made her breath harder, but it did nothing to dim the light that had wrapped itself in her eyes and her Element of Harmony. Rearing, she shouted at the top of her lungs. “AN’ AH’VE GOT A RATTLESNAKE’S BUTT TO BUCK INTO NEXT TUESDAY!”
The world around her shattered.
Her hooves fell heavily onto the ground, onto the bed of rock she had been standing on all along.
The Element of Honesty was a bright light into the darkness, allowing her to see farther into the cave than she could even realize. It helped her understand at least one thing.
The others weren’t around. They had probably been taken somewhere, and it had been her hotheaded actions that had caused it. Nopony else could take the blame for it. It was all on her, so it was up to her now to own up to it. That was fine with her, she wanted the lesson she learned to stick.
Taking a deep breath, she allowed her mind to clear, to see the right path to take, not just the first one that she could see. Discord had played her like a fiddle again.
‘Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.’
It wouldn’t happen again.
Tilting her Stetson over her eyes, Applejack let her face become a mask of calm fury. “Time to put mah money where mah mouth is.”
--
She stared at the empty spot her hoof had struck. She stared, not Stared, at the slithering killer that had taken her Angel away from her.
Her heart was beating like mad against her chest. Pulses of blood went in her temple and made them hurt. Her head felt like she’d been submerged in water, in dark bloody, muddy water, into a dark abyss from which she couldn’t see further.
But she knew, she already knew that the thing that was suffocating her was within. A demon, a monster, a cry of primal anger, all names for the same thing, for the one emotion she felt but didn’t want to acknowledge: hate.
Hate was a broken bowl. Pour the twisting darkness in your heart and pour again, but you never fill anything with hate. It only left empty husks behind.
Yet… that was all her treacherous heart felt in the wake of Angel’s… of his… his…
A miserable sob broke out of her lips.
Fluttershy’s eyes went back to the still body of her deceased friend. Slowly, she started trotting toward it, forcing her words through the knot that blocked her throat.
“It-t’s hard… b-b-being kind, Angel.” Another sob shook her. She couldn’t speak his name without crying, not so soon. But she needed to, to give her even a bit more strength for this. “Sometimes, I hear ponies talk about how I shouldn’t be a doormat, that I should stand up for myself…”
He had thrown things back at her face, and she had quickly scrambled to make things better for him, every time, without noticing how it seemed to make him angrier. The less she protested, the more impatient he got…
She knew what he was doing, but she didn’t want to get angry.
She knew her friends agreed with Angel on principle. But better her that suffers than others.
“They’re very kind, thinking about my feelings.” A little bit of warmth help pierce that deranged blackness that surrounded her. “It’s really the base of kindness, isn’t it? To think about the others first. It’s a little like generosity, maybe it’s why Rarity and I are such good friends.”
Her hoof moved away from the ground, just a little toward the snake that was still paralyzed.
“I hope, wherever you are now, you’re not angry that I did not do it. If you are, please, A-Angel, don’t hold onto that grudge.”
Despite the churn of her stomach, the fire blazing in her guts, she touched the animal that had killed her friend, and did so with as much gentleness as she would any other.
The darkness around her started to break apart.
“I know... Letting go of the anger is really hard. Anger… it’s easy. I know that.”
It whispered in her ears. It told her that it could not be forgiven, that this animal trying to eat and live was a monster that deserved no mercy. She listened to every word. She listened to the end, she listened until they had died out on their own.
“I tried using my anger to stand up for myself, but it was too easy. I became mean because I only listened to my anger.”
The rush... the strenght she had felt when she had allowed her anger to fester... It was still so tempting.
“New Fluttershy… is a pony I never want to be again,” she whispered, eyes closed. “I said things that could have destroyed one of the most beautiful things in my life. I hurt them in an almost unforgiveable way. I mocked what they were most passionate about as frivolous and meaningless pursuits. I laughed at it in their face. But they forgave me. There’s not a passing moment when I’m in Rarity or Pinkie’s presence and I feel thankful that they still talk to me.”
The jewelry over her neck shone, brighter than before, of a pure pink light.
Finally, she lifted her hoof and let the snake go. It slithered away in an instant, leaving her alone with the lifeless body that was just a few feet away. T-the body… of her friend…
Her eyes did not leave him, not for even one measly second. The anger still blazed in her, it still felt so unfair that her sweet Angel was gone, but she did not allow it to sway her. It had almost done so once, it was too much.
“They’ve proven to me what was better. They did not hold a grudge, even if I would have understood. They did not insult me back, even if they could have done so without problem. They were strong when I was weak.” She stopped just before the bloodied white rabbit. “Forgiveness is hard. Kindness is hard.”
She sobbed once more.
“But they’re worth it.”
And she looked back to the spot the rainbow snake had occupied, the place she had shown mercy , without a hint of regret.
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
This is it! This is the part you were reading for! Well, it’s not like my dire warnings will stop you at this point, are they?! Go ahead, spread the word and sing the praises of those who deserve it.
The gray eyelids had closed up, and the alicorn’s breathing had slowed down. The fight was coming to an end.
Sitting in his giant open fridge, Discord leaned forward with an unhealthy gleam to his gaze. There was no playfulness in such a gaze, no mere mockery, but a desire to see the last of his enemies fall to the ground and never stand back up.
And all that was left was for Twilight Sparkle to bring down her hoof.
It was raised, to eye level. Its shadow obscured the Princess of Love’s face.
It was shaking.
One could almost make out the draconequus near the unicorn whispering, reminding her of the things her enemy had done. She deserved it. She deserved worse. It was time to make her pay.
Yet the final hit was awfully slow to come. Lavender lingered over the gray, but did not come down .
“Cadence…” Discord heard Twilight Sparkle whisper and knew he had lost that one.
Of course, the Master of Disharmony did not lose. Never.
“You ponies always have to do everything to ruin my fun, don’t you?!” he bellowed, raising his claw to strike at the insolent, cheating, goody-four-horseshoe student of Celestia!
“Oh no, yeh don’t!”
A lasso closed up over his wrist and pulled his claws away harmlessly. Without even looking, the draconequus batted away the rope, or tried to. His eyes widening, he looked at the piece of rope still holding one of his arms, still pulling at it, which he couldn’t turn into streamers and porcelain plates with just a thought.
Then, there was a stronger yank, and he was made to look left.
“You?” Discord blinked. “But you were supposed to be stuck in that fake dream dimension forever!”
“Ah guess Ah just wanted to pay you back that much,” Applejack replied with a mocking drawl. With as much confidence as she had ever displayed, she made her way to her gaping unicorn friend. “Ain’t everyday Ah got the occasion to beat a snake that big with my own two hooves, ya know?”
Twilight could only mouth her name in disbelief.
“Oh, of course, Applejack,” the draconequus scoffed in disgust, waving her threat away. “But you alone will not make even a little bit of a difference!”
He heard a ‘swoosh’, and felt a gust of wind hit his back, all too quickly, and the realization sank in. Something tickled at his skin, something hot and burning. Willing a pack of debating alligators to appear over this newcomer, he realized his powers were not working as he wished them to.
“You were saying, jerkface?” somepony asked, all the while slowly coming into view.
The most recognizable flyer on the continent was staring him down with a cocky grin. He could tell she had insults on the tip of her tongue as colorful as the mane on her head.
“Oh, tell me this is not actually happening. Am I really going to be-?”
“Well, it looks like it from my point of view, Dissy.” They all blinked, Discord being the first of them all, at the pink mare with the glowing necklace that had appeared next to the draconequus. “See, we have had the right amount of climatic struggles and epic comebacks, thus you are stuck at the point where the heroine who was most alone is now getting progressively reunited with her friends.”
Twilight broke into a grin, finally feeling the relief hit her.
“Pinkie!”
Discord mouth twisted in a scowl. Really, it just had to happen next. Knowing how things actually worked at least made the next part predictable.
Truthfully, it wasn’t a mare making a grand entrance that disturbed them next. It was in fact an incredibly noisy clank of metal against the ground that did so. However, as they all stared at the enormous drawbridge that had fallen out of nowhere, their jaws dropped at the one single yellow mare standing shyly amidst a horde of hyenas.
“I… huh, I hope this isn’t the wrong time, b-but…” She squeaked, flinching when one of the surrounding animals cackled. “I made a few friends around the dungeons.”
“Fluttershy!” Her pony friends galloped to meet her.
“Oh, that is quite alright!” The spirit of Chaos suddenly threw his arms in the air and made them hit the ceiling. “Since that is how it’s going to be, I bet you one Element of Harmony that Rarity will be the next one to cut me o-”
--
When I stumbled through the hidden passageway and fell face first into the open area, I honestly hadn’t expected Discord to gave a disgruntled snort, nor for all the other girls to giggles or give themselves hoofbump. In particular, Twilight looked supremely smug.
‘I guess my pain is always funny,’ I thought while extracting myself from the ground. ‘At least the hyenas are nice.’
I waved at them, but they disappeared in a puff of blue smoke.
There wasn’t time for me to fall into depression over their ill-prepared fate though.
“Oh dear, girls, I’m quite sorry at being ‘fasionably late’. I am aware it is not the best of time for that,” Rarity said from behind me, though unlike me, she didn’t faceplant.
No, she landed graciously on the grass of the gigantic playing field, a few strides away from the rest. Then, she galloped quickly to her friends, still wearing the very shiny Element of Generosity on her neck.
Together, they faced Twilight Sparkle and Discord, presenting the former with a winning smile and the latter with a scowl of pure disgust.
Twilight seemed to be finally unable to digest all the events unfolding before her, though unshed tears of relief pearled at the corner of her eyes. “Girls,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. I should have helped you out sooner… You had to save me…”
The five mares exchanged knowing looks.
“Oh darling.” Rarity rolled her eyes with a bemused pout. “Why must it always be you that comes to our rescue?”
“Y’know, Ah always felt we got off easy the last time.” Applejack started,
“We had help,” Pinkie nodded.
“Friends come to each other’s help,” Rainbow added, pulling them together with her wings.
From under the embrace, Fluttershy pushed a strand of her mane away, then locked gaze with Twilight, a smile on her lips. “But sometimes you must face things on your own to grow.”
“You helped…” Rainbow started again, grabbing Twilight’s hoof.
“Now, we’re here to repay the favor,” they said at once.
In front of them was Discord, staring at them like he was trying to put his finger on something but couldn’t quite do that… yet.
One orange hoof stomped the ground, and an apple-shaped light spread outward. “I looked at a lie in the face, and told it to get lost!”
“Ah!” Rainbow grinned. “You two, AJ? I told the little guy that you guys wouldn’t ever let us down. I was right, of course, ‘cause I trusted the real yous better than just a fake Discord had made.”
Red light fell from the skies into thunderbolts, with a cracking sound of thunder that made me jolt. There was barely the time for me to stroke back the fur on my legs standing on ends, for a bubbly voice took over the dramatics.
“I partied the other Twilight so hard that she so sort of exploded,” Pinkie proudly declared, grinding the heroics to a halt, momentarily. She did not seem quite conscious of the wide and incredulous gazes she was receiving, for the most part. “But that’s okay because it was only an illusion and I got over her meanie-pants words. It was really scary when I thought my friends would leave, but I got over it, because my friends needed me more than I needed them, so it was my turn to face that fear.”
“That’s so super courageous!” I could not help but interject, looking at her with starry eyes.
“Thanks, Hony!” Pinkie replied, smiling and blushing, surrounded by blue balloons. Then, she winked.
Fire spread across my face, the figurative one.
In her corner, Rarity placed a hoof over her lips, whispering ‘could it be?’ and letting out an elegant giggle. Then, realizing the others had started to stare, she stepped forward without letting her embarrassment slow her down. “I placed my life down to save that of another. I did not allow another innocent to suffer in my stead for selfish goals.”
Gems started to glitter into the now nightly sky overhead. They spread suddenly like fireworks, remaking new constellations.
And Discord’s body kept twisting with every new eruption of Harmonic light over him.
One more mare stepped forward, despite being the one least likely to do so in order circumstances.
“I felt the loss of a friend… a-a dear… precious friend…” Fluttershy looked down, swallowing a lump in her throat. “I felt the loss, but still allowed its killer to leave…”
The others’ hooves were all helping her stand, and pink butterflies surrounded them as a shield. They were truly united as one, in this growing parade of light.
Briefly, looking into Twilight’s eyes, I saw a spark.
She looked at my, ahem, father with a proud smile.
“The Elements of Harmony have evolved, Discord,” she declared over the noises. “As the trials pushed us to our limits, we went beyond the simple virtues we represented. And with our growth, the Elements reach new levels of power.”
Their necklaces and crown were shining so brightly that to gaze upon them was like looking at miniature suns. But still I kept at it, because the blood rushed through my veins, with every maddened beat of my heart, and I wanted to know, needed to know the rest.
This was it. I knew it.
“Applejack, who saw through the lies, who refused what she desired most at its hardest, represents the Element of Truth.”
Said farmer looked Discord in the eyes, before letting the power engulf her.
Orange Light.
“Fluttershy, who forgave the one that had taken a most precious friends for her, even when she could choose otherwise, represents the Element of Mercy.”
The caretaker looked at Discord with a certain sadness, and perhaps pity, before it was lost in the growing maelstrom.
Pink Light.
“Pinkie Pie, who would not give in to her fears of loneliness for the sake of her friends, represents the Element of Courage.”
Out of nowhere, the party-goer appeared in between her two already named friends and gave them another solid hug. Only a bright outline remained.
Blue Light.
“Rarity, who was ready to give her life for somepony else, represents the Element of Sacrifice.”
Not unlike Fluttershy, the fashionista shook her head at the spirit of Chaos, but whatever words she might have wanted to say were lost in the eruption of light.
Purple Light.
“Rainbow Dash, who went against all signs of betrayal because she knew the truth was another, represents the Element of Faith.”
Finally, the daredevil flew with the rest, glancing at Twilight one last time before letting her Element take over.
Red Light.
“And I, who used to represent the Element of Magic am now the Element of…”
‘Dramatic pause.’
A giant drum rolled past us, creating a thematically appropriate soundtrack at just the right moment. On her side of things, Twilight’s pause had extended, just to wait until the giant instrument was no longer in sight, then…
“Friendship!” She shouted proudly, puffing her chest out.
My excitement went down the drain faster than you could possibly imagine.
Seriously, my body slumped down, with a disappointed sigh. That was not to say that Twilight’s purple light show of doom was not cool, not at all! It was very nicely thought-out. I personally loved the part where she shone like a thousand spotlights.
But I already knew the big reveal! Talk about spoilers… Damn you, catchy opening sequence!
“That’s... nice…” I said, looking away and not at all scratching the ground with my claws like I wanted to be anywhere else in the world.
“Huh?” Twilight blinked, mortified.
And the light show dimmed a little, just to allow us a clear view of her. Distantly, I thought I would hear a record needle scratch.
“W-what? What’s wrong?” Twilight asked, glancing between her group of friends and the insane duo that was me and Discord, shrinking back on herself. “Why do the two of you look so unimpressed? I just revealed what is the evolution of the last concept of Harmony!”
Oh dear… how could I break the news to her?
Horribly uneasy with this turn of even, I glanced at Discord, who looked rather bored.
“C-can you just tell her?” I asked, grimacing. “I-I mean… I don’t wanna hurt her feelings and hum… you’re a better orator than me.”
The draconequus looked actually pleased from the compliment, lifting a mirror and reaching into it to style his reflection. “You certainly are not wrong about that.”
Ouch, that was some seriously powerful bile of pure hatred going up my throat at the idea that I had honestly complimented him. If nothing was done, I’d start puking my organs and/or a mushy bloody thing, whatever stuff I had inside me as a… mutated thing. Better start with a simple one. “Buck off, D. Just break the news gently so we can move on to the resolution of this already.”
“Tch.” The draconequus waved to dismiss me. “Well, it goes like that: we already knew.”
Two things happened. First, Twilight gasped her lungs out. Second, my jaw dropped to the floor in complete indignation.
My eyes twitched. “HOW is that breaking the news gently?!”
Discord dismissed me with a wave of his paw. “It wasn’t, sonny, but really. Who could have not noticed that by now? Especially after hearing it every week…”
“Well…” I grimaced, horribly guilty of inflicting that on the poor unicorn. “I know it’s gotten repetitive over time… Friendship is Magic. That one is certainly not new…”
Blown away, Twilight sat down, an incredible disappointment showing on her face.
“But that’s impossible…” The purple unicorn’s lips quivered, her eyes filling with tears. “How could you have possibly known something that was just discovered?”
We both started whistling innocently, as if we were angels.
“Come on, Twilight! It doesn’t matter if they knew or not! We can still kick Discord’s butt with them!”
Nodding, the mare of course agreed, but then came a sound we weren’t expecting. Something grating, sinister and all the same creepy.
It had our collective bloods freeze.
Discord was laughing .
“What’s so funny?!” Rainbow Dash shouted, glaring heatedly, her Element of Faith resting on her neck.
More than him, I feared that little piece of jewelry. To look at it for too long was making my stomach somersault with abject terror. Cowering, I made myself as small as possible.
Nopony paid me any mind, luckily.
“Oh, my precious little ponies. I am only laughing at how happy you are that you have made the Elements evolve with you!”
That comment got tempers to flare up.
“If you think they are going to be any less effective than they were previously, Discord, you’ve got another thing coming!”
“Oh don’t be ridiculous, Twilight Sparkle.” He wiped a bright orange tear from his cheek. “Those are going to be very effective against me.”
Now, I wasn’t the only one staring with not a clue what was happening. Finally, the others were on my level.
Discord pointed at the mares in triumph. “That’s just it! None of you gets it! You’ve just made the Elements of Harmony that much harder to activate! By evolving your concepts, you’ve elevated the virtues required to use them up another level! It will be exponentially difficult to find new bearers! What do you think will happen to Equestria once you’re all DEAD?!”
His words made my heart stop.
Them? Die? B-but-but they were timeless heroines that would live on forever in the memories of mankind! They could not just go on and age and DIE!
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” – No, seriously, the chicken or the egg? There’s got to be an answer somewhere. Maybe if one thought long and hard on the question. Hmmmmmmm. – “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Then, sorta, maybe, the intensity of my shouting fluctuated wildly because I accidentally the fire. You know. But there was no burn on anypony so that was still very good.
“Hum, boy?”
A claw poked my shoulder, making me look up in Discord’s direction. “Yes?”
“Are you okay?”
“Well, for a few seconds, I was like ‘nooooo, I like them and I don’t want them to die!’, but then I remember the part where everypony dies of old age, except maybe the Princesses, but I’m not really sure, and then there’s you who said something about eons, which really makes you an old fart , but then I was going back to my previous idea about the Mane Six and there was this random craving for vanilla ice cream that came over me-”
“Oh! I know that feeling!” Pinkie told me with genuine compassion.
“Right?!” I cried, leaning on her for all it was worth. “I think we need to eat some as quickly as ponily possible, and if not that, then at the speed of off-screen teleportation! Yumminess depends on it.”
“Yup.” She nodded quickly, before narrowing her eyes. “Which, of course, wouldn’t even be needed if a certain somedraconequus had taken the time to make ice cream rain from the sky!”
Oh, she was right. She was doubly triply right.
“YOU EVIL THING!” we shouted at him in unison.
Amazingly, Discord had the good grace to look guilty.
“Alright, you two, I will admit to feeling bad about the lack of ice cream around.”
He snapped his fingers, then, after a blinding flash of light, we heard a low rumble in the distance. Surely, that was the mark of our most precious treasure, and together we would gallop through fields of sunlight and storms to get it.
In fact, I was halfway into position, with my wings opened and my legs fully stretched out.
But our new quest was cut short by an uncooperative member of the party.
“Girls, can we do this quickly?” I heard Rainbow groaned. “I feel like my brain is leaking out from my ears just hearing them talk like this…”
“No wait, he hasn’t made the ice cream fall yet!” I pleaded, bringing out the pouty lips.
“Honest Havoc!” Discord growled in a fatherly tone. “You cannot have ice cream before dinner, it will cut off your appetite. You should try Styrofoam. It works wonder on the digestion.”
“Hmmmm, I guess I could thin-” ‘Wait… if I’m made of chaotic magic and this is a rainbow beam of pure concentrated HARMONY, would that TURN ME INTO STONE?!’
“Daddy D!” I whined and grabbed his arm in a vice grip. “I don’t wanna be a statue! It’s hell!”
“Will you just let go, Honest?!” My ultimate nemesis growled, shaking his arm off wildly, then spinning it when the former proved inefficient.
There was a brief second when the centrifuge pull got my heart to leap up my throat, before I was hit by weightlessness and was send flying. Pain spread across my shoulders as I landed wrong onto some weird sandbox. I coughed and hacked, with dust clouds surrounding me.
I didn’t have time to stand up, for I was suddenly thrown further off my lying position by a tidal wave of pure holy light. It only tingled a little. For some reason, a gentle Star above had smiled upon me and allowed me not to be hurt by magical good.
Then, my face slammed into the wall so hard I got stuck.
Ouch. I hadn’t noticed that wall before.
But since it wasn’t rock-hard stone anymore, it only hurt a little bit.
Wood is known to be a soft substance. Or so I knew.
So, with one mighty push, I unstuck my face from the wall, unwittingly creating some pretty damn freaky carved artwork into the Ponyville library. At least one pony was sure to get a heart attack soon, seeing my face in negative.
Thus, I fell over my back and stood, rubbing the sore spots on my body, briefly realizing that I was not made of stone or any other material that could pass off as that. Oh, I so loved being made of flesh and blood. Or whichever body fluid I had, freaky organism obliged.
Not to let my condition as a freak of nature deter me, I turned a bit in the circular and now very wooden library in hopes of seeing the girls not aiming the Elements at me next.
And there, I saw the most marvelous thing in this world and the next. Discord. Discord with a look of despair on his face. Discord, completely silent, at the mercy of the world and, you know, the most important detail…
Grey!
Gray!
Grey!
Gray! Grey!
Discord was as gray as my mane and thrice as immobile as my second stomach!
A spring in each of my legs, the pure joy of victory filling my soul, I gave my best impression of a young Twilight Sparkle.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!”
I did not really notice when I had stopped saying it out loud and when it was just a mantra in my head, but at some point, I had become less excitable and stopped bouncing around.
The girls were still staring at me. With something like astonishment or just plain incomprehension. Or understanding, actually. That was a smile right there... and that was a chuckle, plus a teasing nudge at Twilight.
Oh, but I would not let their cruel judging eyes stop me. Discord was as good as gone! There could be no word to express even half the things I were feeling, and my brain was only good enough to think the quarter of that.
“You did it, girls! You did it!” Oh no, the joy couldn’t be contained. I jumped and bounced in place like an excitable foal, all the while smiling at them with all my heart. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re the best, it’s so cool, you’re amazing, I feel like someone gave me a piece of apple pie, Equestria is saved, Celestia will be fine, Luna’s not a cardboard, I can taste the freedom, it’s like rainbow, can I have a dozen autographs for my friends? I can’t wait to finally not think of Discord. You deserve a medal, I will hug each and every one of you forever if I can, you’re the best, my saviors…”
I continued like that for another minute. Maybe two. Rainbow Dash ate it all up with a smug grin. And Rarity wasn’t too far behind, with her modest blush and the flick of her mane that just looked so classy.
“Alright, alright!” Applejack yelled to put an end to the flow of praise and nonsenses I was heaping at their hooves. “We get it… Honest Havoc.”
She lowered her Stetson a little over her mane, blushing for some reason. But she did not look very happy with herself.
That would not do! That would not do at freaking all !
“You beat Discord, girls… You know what this calls for?!” I posed, staring grandly at the ceiling of the tree house.
A long squee of pure glee came from one Element of Courage. At that one precise nanosecond, I knew she knew exactly what to do.
“Hit it, Vinyl!” I pointed in a random direction, and was rewarded by a triumphant music filling the air. One quick glance allowed me to see a pink flash by the record player, and I grinned even wider. Then another flash and the actual Vinyl Scratch stood behind her sound console, blinking through her opaque glasses.
After a second, she shrugged, put her earphones and acted as the DJ she was.
With a rarely equaled grace, I stood on my hind legs and showed the Elements of Super Harmony why I had gotten the title of “Cha-cha King”.
Not getting into the details, I could say that some stuff exploded, but that was barely my fault. Angel Bunny might have done it himself. After trying to flee from an incoherent Fluttershy. Who was also pursued by Rarity who wanted to make her feel better and make sure her mane wasn’t too out of place.
Also, Pinkie Pie is the most amazing dancer and Rainbow Dash has a mean competitive streak. She almost threatened my title. Scootaloo too, after she joined in with the rest of her cutesie little filly friends.
Yeah, they were there. They had come here as soon as the Elements had restored Super Harmony over the lands. They hadn’t been the only ones. Many a pony had come into the library, some of them galloping like mad to give others hugs, other had been attracted to the sound of music. Pinkie, in-between two dances with me or Rainbow, had apparently started handing out flyers.
Thus, the flow was uninterrupted, and more and more poor chaps came to forget and rejoice. I caught so little glimpses of this, merely little details like two unicorns, one big and strong and white, hugging the other that was smart, wearing a magical crown and lavender. That little stuff. Like Granny carried around by Big Macintosh so she could say in pony how proud she was of Applejack. You know, that sort of thing.
Something painful squeezed my chest, as a few figures I did not really remember floated in my mind. I felt like I should, but I didn’t. With a shake of my head, I forgot that and focused on the still growing flow of ponies.
Of course, that meant the library soon wasn’t enough and we were partying in the streets before long.
My heart was soaring. I was almost on the verge of tear and laughing at the same time. One of these, I did not do for fear of terrifying nearby ponies.
“Do the Twilight!” somepony shouted – Mayor Mare, I think.
At once, as a single dozens strong being, we imitated the inimitable wild dancing that only Twilight Sparkle could do.
If Reality had been sane, Discord would have been freed again on the spot, for such incredibly amount of Chaos could not be contained within a single multiverse without imploding. Luckily, the rules of physics had been beaten into a pulp today and did not feel like speaking up.
Long story short, I had an absolutely blast. Most ponies did. After crying from being reunited with their loved ones, it was only normal. Then… then came the time for wild abandon and celebrating the fact that we were all alive and somehow sane despite the ordeals a monster like Discord could summon.
And dance we did. Sing too, even. Well, not me, I was holding back that desire with all my heart while choreographies upon choreographies were spontaneously erupting all around me. A couple of these even happened simultaneously, led by different ponies and even clashing in an epic duel that ended with more cake being shared.
I could truly believe all was well and might continue to be, before I bumped into a mare much taller and larger than most.
“What manner of pony…?”
She was also blue and wore a crown.
I stared. She stared. Our gazes were locked, as I realized that this was a mare I maybe shouldn’t have crossed path with, not with the previous events being as they were.
Luna, for her part, did not look like she recognized me. Or knew who I was at all. Good. Good. I sort of needed all the anonymousness as I could get, since that whole mess had been my fault.
Thus, it was good that she only… glared… threateningly, with her muzzle scrunching up and… oh no…
Her mane flared up, flickering with comets, a supernova and three or four planets breaking apart. Though the spectacle was magnificent and grandiose, all in all, the little sanity I had left made me flinch in fear.
Luna’s eyes were full of hostility and looked at me the same way Applejack would look a vermin about to ruin her apple harvest.
Something cold grabbed my left ear, and half lifted me off the ground while her horn was glowing. “You shall come with me, creature of Chaos. I believe we have many things to discuss.”
“Oh buggeration…”
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
Alright, bronies and pegasister, here's the sequel so you won't flame me to death after the previous ending. Fair word of warning: massive acid trip coming your way
“I have no mouth and I must scream.”
Good, now that the one sentence I had hoped to never say sincerely has been said sincerely, I could focus on more important things…
Discord was free. He was very much free and I was imprisoned in his statue in his stead. Not only that, but I had pissed him off so much with my rant that he had left a parting gift in the form of a distorted perception of time. Namely, it would go on even more slowly while I was all alone and, well, nobody messes around Discord’s statue anymore. Again, this was easily on my top ten of disaster-tastic fate.
I was stuck here, my limbs being awkwardly shaped like Discord’s and made of granite. At the very least, his eyes had been open when the Mane Six friendshipped him. It wasn’t much, but I had a great view of Canterlot’s castle.
Hey, if I focused, I could make out some scriptures on the adjacent statue. The very deep interpretation of a mare looking at the sky was apparently that she liked her princess’ beautiful sun. Wow.
How long was Eternity again?
Snap.
“Ninety thousand five, ninety thousand six, ninety thousand seven…”
Who knew that counting could actually go on for so long?
Briefly, I wondered how long it would take for me to reach infinity. After a second (SEVENTYFIVEANDTHREETENTHS! ), I shrugged mentally and went back to this new task.
“Ninety thousand eight, ninety thousand nine…”
“If Luna can invade dreams, does that mean she saw that really embarrassing one where I had no pants in front of a dozen griffons?…Oh, wait, that wasn’t me. And I’m never wearing pants nowadays.”
“Time to die, Brain!” I snarled, channeling my inner badass.
“NEVER!”
“Okay.”
~ Sixty buckets of oats on the waaaaaaaall, sixty buckets of oaaaaats ~
“There is just something fascinating about the lack of EVERYTHING here…”
Should there be such a thing as cream cheese?
“Snips and Snail are best ponies!”
Wait, didn’t I already do that one with Celestia?
“Never mind then!” I shouted into the great void of my mental landscape.
“No problem, partner!” The voices shouted back.
“-should lead to world peace through the external use of silverware. Now all I need to find is a pair of short pants an-”
~Seventy buckets of oats on the waaaaaaaall, seventy buckets of oaaaaats~
Don’t mind me, I’m just rambling.
“Anypony knows a good joke? I need to laugh at this mind breaking predicament.”
Wait…
Was that a bird on the edge of that fence? For real?!
Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh (RAINBOW)! A BIRD! THERE IS A REAL LIVING BIRD! SOMETHING THAT IS NOT JUST MY CRAZY SPREADING THROUGH A FAT LOAD OF UNMOVING STONE!
“WHERE?!” All thirty-three of my new imaginary friends rushed to the front of my mind, hoping to see that bird through my unmoving eyes.
Shit had hit the fan, guys.
“Come here, birdie birdie birdie!” John Brakenbeard called, making smooches and cooing sounds.
“Let’s eat it!” Barbara Sunshine chipped in.
“You are a figment of the main guy’s personality, darling.” I knew this voice…
Holy crap! MADAME BUCKET!
“You’re alive?!” I shouted, overwhelmed by that crazy development. What a plot twist! “I-I thought you died after you stayed in that closet on Earth!”
“I did.” Madame Bucket nodded, before fading away.
My imaginary friends and myself all chorused a great ‘Noooo!’ together, before returning to observing the bird.
‘That could make a good idea for a new fanfic actually.’
“Has anyone seen Madame Bucket around here?”
“She’s dead, Mister Broom,” I replied, still mourning that tragic loss. “Like you.”
“How sad,” he commented, staying very tangible and real.
Huh.
~I used to wonder what friendship could be…~
“Thirty-five million, thirty-six million, thirty-seven million…”
Luckily, the sun was still in the same position as I had last left it. It had not moved an inch since the last time I sang all of Celine Dion’s songs one by one, in reverse. You heard right, the sun had not moved since the moment I stopped paying attention to it.
Wait…
“Oh sweet potato! I’M CELESTIA!”
“I’ll administer my kingdom with fairness and cake, my little ponies…” I declared regally, voice shining with love and friendship.
“Long live the princess!”
~Twelve buckets of oats on the waaa… oh buck it, that one’s getting old.~
Their screams of agony were music to my ears.
“The princess has gone mad! She’s killing us all!” They shriveled and disintegrated under the strength of my dark powers.
“All according to plan.” I chuckled, grabbing an imaginary bag of potato chips.
“Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?!”
“Because there was no cake.” I shook my head, finally admitting the terrible truth. “I couldn’t let you live knowing that the cake is a…”
Nah, I would not go there.
Which came first: the chicken or the egg?
It was probably the amoeba.
Wow, this was so boring.
The clear blue sky had never seemed like such a bore before. Why couldn’t there be a little bit less Order around here?
“WHY DON’T YOU JUST EXPLODE, YOU STUPID CASTLE?! EH?! WHY DON’T YOU TRY DOING SOMETHING FOR ONCE?! I’M GOING TO DESTROY YOU ONE STONE AT A TIME!”
“And then I said ‘Oatmeal?! Are you crazy?!’”
I giggled. This was funny.
“…lie.”
Oh no. I said it after all.
I shrugged.
It didn’t matter; all my imaginary friends had died in that tragic accidental explosion of their spleen. How I still mourn their death, weeping silently in the middle of this never ending day.
Hum…
I directed my attention to the outside world, eying the great ball of fire in the sky commonly referred to as the sun…
I sniffed, fighting unshed tears and the growing sadness in my non-existing body. John Brakenbeard had been the one to teach me that.
“I regret killing you, Jooooooohn!” I wailed, bawling my stony eyes out.
“Did you hear that?”
I squeaked in shock.
W-was that an actual pony? Or just a strangely shaped moving and talking rock? I would dig either of those things, just so long as it wasn’t one of my dead imaginary friends!
“I’m telling you…” The words stretched out, becoming impossible to understand. “-gerous… urgen-” Noooooo, why are you so much at the edge of the spell? I can’t understand anything you say!
The pony-shaped thing grew slightly, lifting my heart with the hopes that it was getting closer. It became even cooler when I saw another living thing behind the first one. If my ears weren’t full of granite, I’d believe they were having a conversation.
Kill me now. This was too good to be true.
“And I am telling you that the seal is stable. The readings we have recorded just this morning indicated a normal level of activity.” The tone used by the blue pony (a real pony, YES!) was whiny and weak.
Oh Celestia… You’re so good to me.
Wait, didn’t I turn out to be Celestia? No, right, I was actually an imposter that only pretended to have powers over the sun to lull my subjects into a sense of false security. After all, I could only create an orb of light in the sky and move it around. It was a great weapon to blind unsuspecting innocents waiting to be slaughtered. Good times.
“Get over yourself, Axis Displacement!” The second pony scowled, poking the blue unicorn in the chest, right over his white blouse. “The Princess expressed concern about a fluctuation here one hour ago and we are going to check it out. Now do your job like you’re supposed to!”
Axis puffed his chest, indignation seething out of his pores. “Of course I will do this job! I was simply expressing my opinion on the matter!”
Hey… those guys were pretty funny when they were fighting…
“And my opinion is that you’re a lazy bum that skimmed his way through his studies instead of working hard at the University of Camelbridge!” The green unicorn retorted, readjusting his glasses smugly.
“Why you insolent…” Axis D grumbled darkly. However, as he opened his mouth to give a scathing reply, a small item in his pocket glowed and flashed red twice. After a brief moment of blindness, I could see the scientist straightening, before blinking and shaking his head. “Good gracious… You were right. This place is making me short tempered!”
Huuuuuuuh?
The green pony looked really smug at that.
“I told you. Discord’s statue is letting his power out. The Princess must be informed of the situation at once.”
“What are you guys saying?” I asked, really confused.
They both froze.
“Did you feel that, Contemporized Situation?” Axis D glanced prudently at me, his body language betraying fear.
“You mean the sudden wave of warmth coming from the stone?” Sir Situation of the contemporized replied to my next question before I could ask them. He was a psychic!
That was so cool. I bet he’d be a kickass fighter too! Who wouldn’t when they could predict the opponent’s move! Oh, I wanted to see that now.
“No, of course not. I was talking about the sudden wave of stupidity radiating from your general person,” Axis D spat.
A sudden drift of cold air made me shiver, which was kind of weird considering I was a stone statue. Curiously, this seemed to come from behind my armpit.
“I’m sorry,” the green pony turned around, rolling around the sleeves of his scientist jacket with his magic. Ooooooh, this was going to be so cool. “I could not hear you over the sound of your asymmetrical and unrefined sense of quantic thinking.”
Was there a windigo around this place or something? My mental self was clinging to an imaginary lamppost in the face of a blizzard!
My triple layers of sky coats made that a breeze, but I did not want to miss some of the eggheads’ fight!
“You asked for it, you condescending fool…” Axis D stretched his hind legs, wearing a scary smile.
‘Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!’
To my great disappointment though, the same annoying device from before flashed again and suddenly those two were back to being reasonable.
“Good grief…” My favorite stallion muttered, wide eyes. “I… I do apologize, Axis Displacement.”
“Me too,” the other scientist nodded, looking quite embarrassed. “It is a good thing the Princess gave us this chaos dispelling machine.”
A what now?
“Yes, can you imagine the kind of punishment that would fall on our heads if we accidentally freed Discord ourselves?” His companion laughed.
Oh, yeah, there was that too. But I was not Discord. I was like thirty percent sure of it, so that meant his previous method of escaping would not work, right?
As everypony knows, random blizzards happen all the time inside crazy demoniac statues of ancient evils.
‘That’s how Barbara Sunshine died.’ I sniffed, reminiscing that bright ray of hope and sociopathic joy.
“Indeed. We should report to Prince Blueblood immediately! He will know what to do.”
What?
W-were they ditching me for Blueblood ?!
H-how could they? How could they betray me like that? How could they betray every brony that ever liked Rarity?! THOSE BASTARDS!
A monstrous anger grew within me, worse than when I heard of Theodoras Mirith’s untimely demise during the rebellion of my fake princess realm, worse than even the moment Giantonio stole the last cookie!
So, with the intent of hurting them, I screamed, putting all my venom and my fury into the most insulting remark I could think of. “YOUR MOM CAN’T DO ADVANCED CALCULUS!”
Something strange happened.
Axis Displacement roared , throttling his colleague outright.
Weirder still, his fellow stallion pinned him to the ground with just as much ferocity.
“HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT?!” They both screamed at once.
“Make a wish, guys!” I cheered, hoping they would wish for my freedom. It would be awesome!
Hum… maybe wishing in Equestria involved biting another pony there … Ouch. Subconsciously, I squirmed and moved my non-existing limbs to cover up… that place .
Who bites the middle of the back? That had to count as foul play.
Crack.
“Huh?” Did I imagine that? Probably because I imagined lots of things these days…
Looking around was an impossible option, because stone statue, so I really could not do anything to confirm it. Maybe If I asked them nicely, Axis D and Sir de la Contemporized would pause in their fight to answer me.
Time to impersonate Fluttershy. “Guys? I don’t mean to disrupt your hobbies, because everypony’s got to have some, that’s cool, who am I to judge and all, but could you just tell me if you heard that cracking noise too? It’s really bugging me…”
They bucked each other in the face. Simultaneously.
I was impressed.
Crack.
THERE! I just heard it again! I knew I wasn’t hearing things!
…This time, I mean.
Crack.
My mental voice died in my mental throat, as cells destroying cold invaded my very soul in viciously aggressive waves. Pulsing in synch, the hole under my armpit seemed to be the cause of my predicament.
This was getting annoying. Was there any doctor in the area?
Crack.
The cold intensified.
“GUYS! FETCH ME A PARKA!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.
Ironically, both scientists froze in their fight, hooves suspended in the striking motion they had prepared.
Crack.
If they had looked nervous before, it was nothing compared to now. They were white and looked ready to soil their pants, which they were not wearing.
Good, no laundry fees then.
“You…” The blue unicorn stopped mid-sentence, appearing on the verge of throwing up from abject terror. “…you heard it, right?”
“N-no…” The green one shook his head in denial. “You just asked me to fetch you some pieces of clothing.”
“Actually, that was me, Contemporized Situation.” I jumped in, because I couldn’t let him misunderstand my words.
Crack.
The stallion proceeded to faint on the spot, leaving his panicked colleague squeaking like a mouse.
“Oh no!” I exclaimed dramatically, putting a hand over my heart. “Do you think he’s okay?”
I looked at Axis D.
He stared back, with fear stricken eyes. His dilated brown pupils looked very nice, but I could not help wonder what was so scary about talking to a statue. Must be a cultural thing…
“Axis Displacement?” I asked, virtually tilting my head to the side.
Crack.
Hey, I felt that! It was on my belly.
Great, now that spot was super itchy and I could not scratch it.
Oh well, I should think of something else, like my pal a few meters away from me. “Axis?”
Before I could blink – which is admittedly not saying much –, Axis turned around and started running away, screaming as loudly as he could.
“Wait!” I called back, a very real fear taking place in my guts. I did not want to be left behind! “Don’t leave me alone! Please!”
And the cold…
The cracking noises multiplied, as the stone I was encased in started to break. Some even appeared directly into my field of vision, spreading like wildfire!
Sensations returned to my legs, hinting as to the nature of this new development.
It hit me like a truck.
“The seal is breaking!” I shouted. “Wait… I’m not physically here, am I? I’m just a bunch of electrical currents between neurons and their diverse links, creating the network that is my mind. And Discord is free…”
I was on the verge of a revelation here…
The cracks started to shine and ominous spatial distortion sound started to echo around.
“Wait… I’m not really here. I’m bound to this statue. If it breaks, what will ha-”
It exploded.
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
The gray colt looked at me with wary eyes, scrambling to hide behind a garbage bag. At the size he was, it would work too. Except for the part he peeked over the edge of the green thing, allowing me could see his striped mane.
“H-how do you know my name?” He asked, his horn flashing briefly with purple light.
Tilting my head, I frowned.
“I’m crazy?” I shrugged, hoping that would not alienate him.
“Nu-uh! That doesn’t explain anything!” The little guy protested, momentarily coming out of his hiding place.
So much for a friendly start.
“Well, it does explain why there’s a bunch of squirrels flying around your head.” I pointed with one claw, toward the swarm of rodents spinning around like helicopters.
At the sight, Shining Armor screamed, bolting toward the dead end, running as fast as his little legs could carry him.
Arriving at the base of a stone wall, trapped, the little colt slammed his head in the corner, cowering ineffectually.
Though if I tried, I could imagine him having disappeared. Chuckling, I skipped cheerfully toward the little unicorn. This was kind of funny.
“What are you doing?” I bounced, Pinkie Pie style.
“Go away!” He yelled, bucking once, blindly, which nailed me in the jaw.
He was a foal, but I still felt the pain and heard that ‘crack’. Massaging my chin, I probed my lower jaw with my tongue, reeling a bit at how weird this felt. Testing my fangs wasn’t hard though, so finding the one that threatened falling didn’t turn into a challenge.
Spitting both blood and the offending fang, I laughed.
“What’s with ponies and hitting me?” I pouted, eyes glistening with crazy. “I’m not a bad pony! I’m a bad, bad, man !”
I waited for a second, holding back my laugh with both front legs, eying the foal that was sure to crack up at any moment now.
“Huh?” Shining Armor finally heard me and turned around, confused.
He was greeted to the sight of me rolling on the floor, cackling like a hyena.
Hey! Did those exist in Equestria? Oooooh, I had to ask Zecora!
“What’s a man?” His childish curiosity won over his fear, though he trembled and crouched when my eyes fell on him.
Wiping a tear and rolling onto my hooves, I held back another fit of laugher, occasionally letting out a snort or a high-pitched giggle. During that time, the colt had gone from squirming to trembling.
“It’s a hairless bipedal mammal, sort of a cousin to monkeys,” I said with utmost serious.
He snickered. Somehow, his body language still translated as terrified to me.
“That’s just silly.”
“It’s not. I’m a man.” I put on a moody face, kicking a pebble away, mildly put off.
“You don’t even look like a monkey! And you’ve got fur!” Shining Armor protested, eying me from horn to hooves.
Oh goody, the one time I wasn’t spouting nonsense, I was being thought of as crazy. Freaky irony thing…
“You could have just believed me, you know?” I sniffed, washed over by a sudden and silly sadness.
I grabbed the nearest garbage can and took a chunk out of it in one bite. It was a little like butter, not that I really remembered what butter tastes like… WHAT DOES IT taste LIKE!?
Not important.
I swallowed down the scraps of metal, dutifully chewing like Mom taught me. She knew all about eating good meals. Somehow, that never included garbage cans… why? They’re tasty.
“HEY! What are you doing?!” The little foal charged me, trying to push the thing out of me hooves.
“Eating a comforting snack?” I looked down on Shining Armor, still attempting to push the can out of my reach. ‘No deal, Shining, I’m hungry.’
His jaw dropped. “Why would you want to eat that?”
“Why not? It’s full of iron.” I shrugged, taking another bite.
“IT WAS MY HIDING PLACE!” He shouted, horn flaring with light.
Reeling backward, I winced, trying to blink away the sudden pain in my eyes. Too much light… do not want…
“But I was starving!” I whined, dropping down to his level with a loud crash that had the colt startled and shaking. Taking a few steps back, he tried to put some distance between us, but, well, we were at a dead end. “The apples tried to eat me, so I couldn’t eat them… and my stomach kept rumbling on the inside.”
“Huuuuh…” Shining, lost for words, slowly curled back into his corner, glancing around.
A twitch over our head made me snap mine upward, scanning for a possible threat in this ever growing chaos. The little guy, however, tackled me and lifted me enough to hide underneath, even as tears of panic danced in his eyes.
That bundle of shimmering pony settled under my chest, I was left unsure of what to do. My mind kept telling me to invent myself a psychologist doctorate and give him a pancake. My heart, on the other hand or hoof, was humming some cheesy song. My inner second self Berbatron however was trying to will a rocket jetpack into existence.
Finally, I opted for the simple solution.
Rolling over, I fell on my flanks and lied there, unwilling to move anymore. The thought had occurred to me that turtles can’t get to their feet by themselves whenever they tried what I had done.
Shining let out a yelp of panic at the disappearance of his hiding place and jumped in the garbage again.
Something clicked in my brain.
I giggled.
“I get it!” I jumped to my hooves, grinning wildly. “Discord made you a wimpy foal!”
“Did not!” Came the sullen childish reply.
“Oh?” I tilted my head, before grabbing and throwing a bag away.
His body now exposed to the eyes of anypony in the vicinity, the colt shrank, shaking.
“You’re not that gray, so I guess it’s a partial discording…” I remarked, lifting his chin with one claw. He flinched at the touch.
“D-don’t touch me!” The colt’s voice wavered weakly and pushed my paw away.
“Soooorry,” I threw my head backward, lulling right and left. Through the cracks between the rooftops, I could vaguely make out flashes of colors. “Pretty.”
Another yelp and Shining had dropped down on the ground.
“Hey, hey, hey…” I jumped over a piece of trash and landed right next to him. The sound of my hoof falling down made him flinch harder. Troubled, I lowered my head to his level. “What’s wrong? Why are you scared of the pretty lights?”
“I’m not scared !” He sniffed, refusing to look at me. “A-an-and those were big monsters!”
“I could have sworn they were just lights, shaped like triangles and floating on clouds of poison… but I’m not very reliable to make sense of things.” I shrugged. Clearly, the colt had to have known better. Who’d rely on the crazed pony… guy… monster… thing?
“A-and like with all monsters,” he said, doing his very best to keep the shaking out of his voice. He seemed to pause though, once he looked at me, biting his lips. “You… you must plan out well before you attack, so I’m going to return to my hiding place now.”
“Sure!” I smiled enthusiastically. “I munched on it, but nothing will see you through the gaping missing third of the can!”
Shining, well into his motion to get back into his safe place, froze. Small twitches danced on his skin, moving his pale gray fur around in a very smooth motion.
“B-b-but…!” He muttered, shooting terrified glances everywhere. “If I can’t hide, they’re going to get me!”
Well, I could certainly understand the sentiment. I once tried to hide from my inner demons by jumping down a waterfall, only to discover that the bottom was most likely covered in razor sharp rocks. Luckily, I had a hand-glider handy, so that ended well.
“You know what you need? A toaster!”
He almost fell face first into the pavement at that. “Huh?”
“Yes, so the scary monsters that try to get you will be toasted!”
He… he stared .
I could not tell why.
‘Meh, I’ll live. I always do … even when I’d rather not . Hehe… sometimes things get real boring … sometimes they should just disappear .’
Like fear and guilt. Those were crappy feelings that no one should have to experience. Joy, bubbliness and peace were so much better.
“Okay, let’s get going,” I declared bravely, smirking.
“What?” Shining Armor blinked.
“This is boring. You’re all stressed out, you need to have fun !” I put on a particular emphasis on that last word, all ten voices distorting to fit in a single sound. “Come on, let’s visit Ponyville. It’s only my second time around here.”
“No!” He screeched, panicked. “I don’t need fun! I need a safe place to hide!”
“Hum…” I frowned, thinking hard. “You could hide under my wings!”
I flexed said appendages, extending and retracting them to give the colt an appreciation of their length. For the record, they were both big enough to completely cover him up. From the look on his face, he was not completely dismissive toward the concept.
“Think about it, it’s a much better place. If somepony were to look in your can, then they would find you, because it would never move by itself. So, really, they only need to look in one place at any time. My wings can move. I can move, most of the time, petrifiedmomentsnotwithstanding! ”
‘Eh?’ I blinked, glancing back to the spot the colt used to be, a second ago. There had been kind of a little whitish blur and he had disappeared. Where was he?
My eyes scanned the alley again, going from the littering trash on the pavement, to the stone walls of some buildings and the one forming the dead end Shining Armor seemed fond of. They lingered on the blinding light given off by the other end of the alley, a twinge of envy and fear squeezing my heart for a split second.
Hiding was very tempting, comforting, nurturing and maternal even, but it involved limited movement. I loathed limited movement. Life was all about staying on the move, unless moving would kill you, then it didn’t.
Muffled sobs brought me back on Equestria. That sound… it… it almost woke up something inside me. Perhaps it was a bit of what I used to be. A part of myself reached forward, with the intent to ease and comfort.
“Shining Armor?” I called and got rewarded with a whimper. “There you are? Why’d you hide?” I plunged my paw into the pile of bags and pulled the first struggling thing I found.
Screaming and kicking, he fought back my grip, calling for help loudly multiple times, only to abruptly shut up and cover his mouth each time.
This pitiful spectacle silenced any idea of fun I had, instead replacing them with a sober worry. “What’s with you?”
“You were going to kill me! I heard it in your voice.”
“That’s just silly!” I snorted, mind bubbling at the nonsensical words. “It was probably Ripperjack.”
“RIPPERJACK?! WHERE?!” He screeched, voice cracking.
“Ooooh, you know him?” Smiling in spite of the newly acquired ringing sound in my ears, I put him on the ground. “Can you tell me about it? I have a feeling I ought to know…”
“How can you not know about the most evil pony in the history of Equestria?!” He eyed me like I had gone mad.
Someone’s late to the punchline…
His stern glare aggravated as I snorted.
“Okay, okay, I give. No need to get snippy about it. In fact, nopony should get snippy about anything. It just creates rift between ponies and that’s the fastest way to lose somepony... forever! ” My brows furrowed. “Wait… that’s not how it goes.”
“That’s not how anything goes!” The colt seemed about to reach breaking point.
The edges of my lips twitched upward at that. There was just something heart lifting about the growing anger and frustration of the foal. It made me want to mess with his head.
This was fun.
Eh? W-where had that come from?
“N-no matters… Not a problem… T-there’s plenty more where that came from,” I muttered, looking away with wide shifty eyes.
“Now what…?” Shining Armor muttered, his face crunched up in suspicion.
No idea, Shiny. I had gotten a bit random since a certain past experience.
“Well, I was saying that my wings would be perfect for you to hide.” I flexed them again, for emphasis. “Think about it: my wings can move so that any observer trying to spot you at any angle will only see my wings. Plus, we’ll be moving around, so you will never be in one spot for more than a moment, MEANING that they will never get more than one chance to see you in the particular hiding place, overall making it a lot safer than just staying in this dump!”
“Huh…” The poor foal looked like he was desperately trying to think of a response to that, but could only think of arguments that supported my cold, perfect affirmation.
I would know, considering how often I faced that problem. This meant…
“Sweet! I’ve gotten myself a sidekick!” I stood on my hind legs, joy bubbling up inside me. 'Not alone, not alone…' I thought.
“From now on, I will refer to you as Hiding Armor!”
My little sidekick’s eyes widened until they were akin to saucers.
“WHAT?!”
“Come on! Let’s go live some adventures!” I shouted, before taking off, a small unicorn struggling to stay on my back.
“Oooooh, was that an Ursa Major? We really should check it out, I’ve heard they’re huge!”
“NO!” Hiding screamed, desperately tugging at my horn, hoping to get me to turn back.
“Why not?” I whined.
“Because you’re crazy!” He yelled, biting on my ear now.
That was a sound logic and true.
“Okay, no Ursa then…” I sighed, head dropping down to the level of the checker motif ground.
Ponyville was slowly – or was that quickly? Who could tell when the clocks asked ponies for the time of the day? – turning into a very logical place. For example, houses that were uncomfortable in their current location would simply ask for directions and find a better place for their foundations. Since they were very polite about it, I couldn’t quite tell why Mayor Mare fainted when the town hall went for a walk. That was kind of rude of her.
Trotting around the town, I tried not to let that affect my opinion of her. Perhaps she was just stressed by her job. It couldn’t be easy to run the most apocalypse prone town in Equestria.
My smile returned when a cloud offered me a piece of candy and did the same with Hiding. While the colt eyed the free candy with disdain, I ate it gratefully.
“Wasn’t that nice?” I jumped, skipping over a bottomless puddle.
The little unicorn was very much not convinced.
“It’s like I’m being taken care of by a stoned guard on laundry duty. They’re the weirdest ponies you could ever meet,” he grumbled, clearly not happy with his position in the world.
Feeling like being nice, I grabbed him with my tail – or it did that by itself, who knows? –, and swept the colt under my pegasus wing, like I had promised.
Subconsciously, the colt relaxed at being hidden from sight, mostly. Not that, in my humble opinion, he needed to hide; the only evil here were the apples. ‘It’s always the apples… even on Earth. You know what they say: ‘An apple a day keeps the Doctor away’. The Doctor is a good guy, so…’
Flawless logic.
“Can we just go home now?” He grabbed my leg for attention, his voice just that close to begging. “We’ve already gone past the deformed clown and the dancing spiky plant…”
“Where’s ‘home’?” I tilted my head, confused.
The colt pushed some of my feathers away, looking up to me through this gap. At first, his mouth opened, but it closed without a single word begin said. Hiding Armor frowned. “I… I don’t know…”
“I thought it was in Canterlot? Or the Cristal Empire, maybe?” I said casually, eying Screwball fighting a pirate bunny. “You guys do live in that tower, right? You can’t possibly take the train between the Royal Castle and the Empire every morning and night.”
“How do you know these things?!” The little unicorn shouted.
“I’m crazy!” I giggled.
“That explains nothing!” His eyes narrowed, boring through my skull.
“It does when you say it!” I protested.
“No, that’s just you be-” He stopped short and growled in frustration, before shooting me a dirty look. “You’re a stalker!”
With that, he brushed my feathers back into place, hiding him from view. Before I could say anything else, a sharp pain at the edge of my wing made me flinch. Why are there nerves ending in my feathers?!
A second later, he pulled and my wing had taken the shape of a cocoon holding him.
This was uncomfortable…
So, walking with a weight under my wing and tipping my already precarious balance, I went on further into Ponyville.
Ponies had left the safety of their homes, most involuntarily, it appeared. Why else would Filthy Rich be trying to escape a bunch of giant bees waving taxes records in his face? Same goes with Miss Cheerilee teaching a crowd of elderly ponies on the value of fishing.
Alright, granted, that in itself was not strange for her, but the fact that the purple mare was standing in a cage over a weird cartoony heatless campfire tipped me off.
She was not using her blackboard! Even when it was right next to her!
‘Sharp as ever.’ A transparent bucket of metal appeared as these words echoed.
“Madam Bucket. Long time no see!” I grinned.
I stumbled, almost tripping, because of a sudden movement from Hiding’s hiding place. Muffled noises reached my ears, but I could not make out their meaning.
“Hiding Armor? Something’s wrong?” I asked, leaning my ears against my wing.
I reeled backward when the colt screamed, making my ears ring.
“I don’t want to know! I’ll become crazy like you!”
My eyes pricked with tears. Feeling downtrodden, I sat down, hanging my head low. “That hurts…”
For just a moment, I felt movement in his cocoon of feathers, as if he was shifting with unease. Then, it stopped, leaving me alone to wonder what to think.
“Excuse me, good sir…” A voice called for my attention, even as it elicited a whimper from my trusty sidekick.
Whipping up my head toward the sound, I blinked, now facing a troop of buffalo dancers. Tall, lean, all muscles and fur with little to no fat on them, they seemed very much like professional athletes. Strangely, they were all very gray. I didn’t know buffalos could have that coloration.
“Oh, hello misters. Can I help you?” I tilted my head to the side, trying very hard not to stare. I knew those guys. I knew I knew them.
“We’re looking for the chocolate arena.” The biggest of the bunch scratched the back of his head. “We were asked to perform there and we need to get there before it melts or it gets eaten by a thoughtless pony.”
…Chocolate arena?
I stared at them, mouth slightly open. For the briefest of seconds, I imagined the delicate, sumptuous, decadent golden caramel oozing off the light brown pillar holding the structure together. The smell alone would give any living being in a miles radius diabetes.
An awkward moment of silence passed as my stomach grumbled, loudly.
“Hum…” I muttered, wiping my lips with my snake-like tongue. “I have no idea… sorry.”
Surprisingly, Hiding was the one that groaned in exasperation.
“We just went past that!” His muffled voice came out of under my feathers. “It’s next to the Carousel Boutique! Over there!”
“What?!” I shouted in shock, my wings opening in the same motion.
I cringed, as the weight of a foal was shifted from a relatively close position to the very end of my feathers. Worse still, the weight was accompanied by a slight pain and the sight of Hiding Armor dangling from the nick of his teeth was a good indicator.
“How did I miss that?!” I asked the foal, who refused to answer, biting even harder into my wing.
“Well… huh… we’ll get going, sirs. Thanks for the info,” the buffalos said, taking their leaves after a small nod at us.
“It was nothing,” I replied absentmindedly, still trying to pry an answer from my uncooperative sidekick.
Hiding glared, prompting me to take matters into my own hooves and paw. This would not do… With an annoyed sigh, I shook my wing twice. Strongly.
It did the trick. The weight on it disappeared, even as a panicked scream filled the air. Turning my head, I barely had the time to see a white blur soar through the sky before crashing through the windows of a sophisticated house.
Normally, I wouldn’t have paid much attention to that, as much weirder sights were common occurrence with Discord’s influence spreading over Ponyville. However, I also noticed a distinct lack of unicorn colt anywhere near me.
It clicked. “Oh.”
I dashed toward the stylistic building, pouring enough strength into my legs to completely beat all of my personal records.
With a magnificent leap – yes, I thought it was, stop snickering –, I went through the exact same window. As my body passed the frame, dozens of sharp masses of pain burst on my skin. Flinching, I closed my eyes for just a second too long.
One hoof too awkwardly, my balance slipped. Very suddenly, the inside of the boutique turned upside down and more pain erupted precisely in my right wing, now crushed under my body.
“Awwww, that landing sucked…” I moaned, grimacing.
“Hum… you know…” A young voice rang to my ears, but not my sidekick’s.
I blinked, before turning around.
I was treated to the sight of a bundle of foals, tangled together, with unnaturally grey coats.
“Rarity might not like all that blood stainin’ her floor…” A filly remarked casually, waving a hoof dismissively.
Confusion filled my head. Three fillies… with less energy than actual sloths… lying together on the floor of the Carousel Boutique.
Who could be so lethargic in such a place?! It literally tasted flair and class! My mind already felt more sophisticated just sharing the same air as the mannequins!
“Who cares?” The pegasus of the bunch grunted, not about to make any more effort than that.
“Not me,” the other two chorused.
“Hum…” I raised one claw, in the manner of a kid wishing to question a teacher. However, I immediately lowered it, because no such question had popped up in my mind. Instead, I chose to be more practical about it.
With a sniff, the location of my sidekick became evident, namely right behind the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Stretching my neck, the difference became clearer. There was a fourth foal in the pile and that one was unconscious.
“Well, girls, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll take my sidekick and go out to have some more fun!” I skipped over to them, grinning childishly.
“Suit yerself…” Applebloom shrugged, her eyes dull with boredom.
Delicately, I picked up the injured colt with my left paw, carefully examining him. He probably landed on his head and got concussed.
Oh well, ponies never died so that was not a problem.
With a swing, I threw my sidekick over my back, like a bag of potato. His weight pressing securely on my shoulderblade, right between my wings, I trotted toward the door.
And stopped dead in my track, my whole coat standing straight on its ends. A cold shiver went down my spine, then backtracked and did the whole thing three times over.
My ears twitched, as the lack of sound beside the multiple sighs of the three fillies had me worried.
The fabulosity in the air was at an unacceptable level.
Stern, my face twisted into a snarl as I approached the lazy fillies with the intent to scream their heads off for not wearing pimped-out dresses and financially worthless gems!
Taking my threatening stomps fairly well, none of the fillies even glanced my way.
That was fine, but the fabulosity was dying here!
“Girls, this won’t do!” I lowered my head to stare directly at Sweetie Belle. She looked at me as if I was transparent. I was, maybe, but this had nothing to do with the problem at hooves. “This simply won’t do! There’s only so much swag you can brush off before it becomes a mortal offense!”
“Do we have to do something about it?” The little unicorn asked with a hilariously raspy voice.
“Yes!” I nodded furiously.
“Pass,” they all said.
“But-”
“Not interested.”
“Think of the fabulosity !”
“If we do something, we might get our Cutie Mark.”
“And we don’t want that.”
Well, that was a powerful discording. Also, unforgiveable.
Why, that monster had turned those adorable little walking disasters and turned them into well-behaved calm little fillies! That was enough to make my vision turn red.
All to my righteous anger, I did not notice it until it was all over me.
A sense of weightlessness hit me like a truck, as my legs left the ground and my neck twisted from a rebound. On my ribs, an overpowering pressure pushed, driving razor sharp claws into me. Had my lungs not be emptied of their air, I might have let out a cry of pain.
It truly came once I crashed into some of the mannequins.
Limbs tangled in uncomfortable positions, unconscious colt at my side now covered by a silky green scarf, I felt my head tilt heavily, even as my mind fought to regain some control. Through a veil of confused sensations and tilted-over pony shaped objects, I could barely make out a fluffy giant thing.
It had a big ribbon tying some of its hairs on top of its head.
And it hissed.
“Oooooooh, this is not good.”
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
Judgment of the moon and stars
[Some scenes were lost in the archives. No question is to be asked about the time frame lost. There will be no warning about this directive.]
This extract was reconstructed from the trial of the monster known as Honest Havoc by the Lunar Princess, following the second breakout by the Eldritch Entity referred to as Discord.
We let out a strong sigh as we settled down into our seat at the front of this royal courtroom. After a few frantic days of administration, disaster relief and public appearances, we were finally ready to put the final nail on the coffin to this sordid affair.
Namely, the fate of the creature that had started it.
The sight of the creature had our whole being protest in revolt. Not only had its actions brought down ill upon everything we hold dear, but it reeked of Chaos, of its old master, currently imprisoned and being placed under the greatest surveillance. In some ways, it felt like looking straight at the statue itself.
According to the preliminary investigation, there was a reason to that. Our old enemy had been reported to have escaped while the sealing spell still existed after all. This one was the piece of power left behind, given flesh. It was, according to a number of our experts, a mass of chaos moved by a strange spirit.
The strangeness could be dealt with. After all, one of the bearers that saved us is said to possess a bigger zany bone than the original Draconequine, of whom we will report no more lest we disturb our realms more than we already did. The important thing to know, the one thing that could influence our judgment was a simple and single conviction we held from the moment we saw it.
If it ever made contact with Discord’s prison, the draconequus would be freed instantly.
[Revealing this information will incur consequences reserved only to the greatest of criminals. No exception.]
I held back a shiver, refusing to let our subjects see any weakness on her part. In such troubled times, a show of strength would serve to remind the world, and more importantly our little ponies, that Equestria still stands.
The trial thus began as planned.
--
The accused is made to stand before a crowd of ponies and juries. Amongst them is the Bearer of the Element of Honesty.
To be perfectly honest… Ah mostly cooled down after Ponyville was saved. Mah family was alright, there wasn’t lots of need for repairs beyond a couple of stuff that should be covered by the town’s wisest investment: insurance.
So, yeah, Ah was onboard with comin’ to see the trial up close, ‘specially after the Princess asked us personally. It’s supposed to be mah Element anyway. Wouldn’t want to be left out of it.
Yup, got that right, ma’am, the stallion entered with two mean looking guards on both side of him.
Him.
Honest Havoc.
He looked… kinda like a foal, weird patchwork appearance aside, Ah mean. Seriously. Once he sat down in the middle of the courtroom, alone in that big empty space, he really struck me as one.
No idea what he was doing there, no idea what to do, about as sheepish as a real sheep with a hoof in the cookie jar. And skittish like Applebloom five minutes before she started crusading.
…Ah really can’t remember why Ah’d gotten so angry with him before. No, no, Ah mean that in a rhetorical way! Yeah, Twi told me about that big fancy word, so what? That guy – and Ah refuse to say ‘It’, ye stuck-up fool – is completely off his rocker.
Dunno where you grow up, but in Ponyville, we don’t have the ones not right in the head take full responsibility.
T’was the thing I kept thinking about the whole time, because around us, near the stands where all mah friends were, it was just a bunch of ponies looking ready to stampede. Good ponies Ah’ve dealt with mah whole life had their eyes narrowed on him, on Honest Havoc, with the intent to make him pay.
Ah know what he did. He can’t go unpunished. Sure.
But Ah’m still worried he’s gunna get more than he deserves.
--
The accused is asked to explain the situation in full. The witnesses and crowd watch. Amongst them is the bearer of the Element of Kindness.
I… I flinched when he started talking. His voice i-isn’t pleasant to hear. I always feel like somepony is hurt when he speaks. There’s pain in there.
A-anyway, he started explaining what had happened, without interrupting himself too many times. He said there was somepony else near him, but I didn’t see anypony. Then, he mentioned they were all invisible and others existed in another dimension!
I-I… was scared. I didn’t like the idea of being looked at by ponies I don’t know.
Through his report of the events… I found out I was right. He really did hurt.
He told us a lot, but I did not understand it all. It was a bit confusing… I-I’m sorry, I should have paid more attention. There were words he used that didn’t make sense to me, but from what I remembered… he had seen us before… and really like us.
It is important to note that for a few minutes, the interviewer was unable to get much information out of the bearer of the Element of Kindness. Reports said she was blushing and hiding from the recorder.
I apologize… I never liked attention, and this brought back a few memories of the time I was a model.
…T-t-thank you, sir. Please don’t bring it up again.
Well, from what I understood, Honest Havoc did not mean to do it. He only wanted to have a little fun, to have a break.
Princess Luna… she yelled really loudly at that, s-something like “DO YOU THINK OUR WORLD AND LIVES EXIST FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT!?” . Sorry! I was just trying to tell you about the trial.
…I think… I think Princess Luna was too harsh on him. O-oh! I know that she was very stressed because of all the things that have happened. I just thought… she could have been nicer?
He said he was sorry. H-he… he was crying when he said it. Sobbing and asking for forgiveness. Doesn’t that count?
…Yes, I remember which Element Twilight says I now represent…
--
The accused has been muzzled at the request of the general audience, after it had been recognized that he had temporarily lost control of his mouth. While there is some peace and quiet (despite the persistent gnawing of his metallic restraint by the accused), the Lunar Princess has chosen to hear the reports of experts and witnesses. Amongst them is the bearer of the Element of Generosity.
And then the second expert came in. I must apologize for it, but my first thought was one of distaste. A gauntly look, bags under his eyes, split ends? No, this stallion did not take care of his appearance very much, nor his health if the state of his coat was any indication. No wonder he hid it under that long hooded cloak. The motif on his back was interesting, though I could not quite catch all of it, and that fabric...
Yes, yes, excuse me, I did not mean to start daydreaming. As I was saying, his appearance was surprising enough on its own.
However, my eyes caught sight of a minute glint in the area of his cutie mark. There was little to be said about it, for it only looked like an ordinary test tube, as many academics seem to get, according to Twilight.
But that imperceptible light, I knew, was the sign of a glamor.
…How did I know? Sir, I am a fashionista, I work in an industry where how to appear and how to be are arts in themselves. I had to teach myself some spells in the domain on my own, believe me. That pony was definitely hiding his true cutie mark.
What for? I could not tell and I still cannot imagine the true reason for this.
Regardless, the Princess must have had good reasons for permitting it. I’ll speak no more of it.
The other detail that caught my intention was his horn. At the time, I could not hold back a wince of sympathy for the poor dear. His horn had the stigma of a crack! You cannot understand how bad I felt knowing that stallion had gone through such a terrible ordeal.
No, no, I am not implying anything by that, madam. I am simply saying that a horn injury is a wound that can ever truly be understood by one who possesses a horn. I could not pretend to know how severe a wing injury is, but this scar on the expert’s body told me he had to suffer from a broken horn at some point.
…
I did go on a rather extended tangent, didn’t I? My apologies.
In any case, the expert started to explain some simple facts of biology about Honest Havoc. He apparently presented a number of characteristics that are otherwise exclusive to a number of species.
Fire breathing amongst others, like having three stomachs, a brimstone horn and a prehensile lion tail.
I will not deny that a number of my compatriots prudently leaned away from the accused. I could and still do understand their reasoning. Honest Havoc had so far made a few insightful comments about the nature of time and ranted about the unfairness of the world of fashion in the same sentence. What kind of logical conclusion would there be to link between the two?
Oh, this stallion was quite mad, I’m afraid to say. The pony on the stand seemed to share my educated opinion, as he mentioned that, despite being unable to reach consensus, psychological evaluations deemed him unstable and anything from sociopathic to prematurely bipolar.
Thus, considering the number of dangerous attributes he possessed and the clear instability of his psyche, this expert recommended that he remained within custody of the Crown. He would be a danger to himself, but most likely others, should he be allowed to roam free.
I felt a guilty pang of pain in my chest as the poor dear saw his freedom slip away. He made no noise, stopped testing the solidity of his muzzle and slumped down. His gaze met no other’s, he was simply taking in the news. With a surprising moment of acceptance, might I add.
Yes, yes, that was the moment I made my intervention. A scandalous thing, I know, but I felt it was important to bring attention to this little detail. Not to mention, it made my little sister’s friends so happy!
Oh, please , what could go wrong with inviting the Cutie Mark Crusaders to testify? Nothing, I tell you.
“Ah don’t remember everything, but Ah do know he was around us a lot, and we’re fine. Though Opal’s been looking at us weird recently.”
“Yeah, he was not mean,” Scootaloo added. “He took us on a trip around town, said he wanted to help us get our Cutie Marks. I wasn’t listening to his whole spiel, because that stallion can talk! But yeah, he brought us on stage and danced a lot. It was kinda funny.”
There! That was all that happened.
…Yes, I will pay the fine that they got for accidentally making the Princess’ stand explode ! Don’t remind me of that! I was the first mortified, thank you very much! The nerves of you!
The way I recall it, ponies appreciated my sweet sister’s intervention.
“And I got my cutie mark!” Sweetie Belle squeaked, spinning and spinning in place to look at her flanks. The audience’s reaction matched my own, as my heart melted in my chest. “I can’t believe I actually got it! Oh, it’s perfect! I wouldn’t have gotten it without all this!”
Princess Luna’s expression changed slightly afterward, as her delicate eyebrows furrowed together by an inch.
…Yes, I could tell from my place in the stands! I am a fashionista!
Oh dear, I can hear Sweetie practicing! I must go!
--
At the request of the Princess, the defendant was allowed to take off the muzzle, provided he did not start talking about things that were irrelevant to the situation.
The look he had before kinda reminded me of something. Something something about liver, beans and chianti! But WHAT?!
Here, can you hold this lamb and this ‘Silence’ sign? I am trying to put on a play for the Ponyville’s hospital, it’s going to be great! But yeah, what Hony reminded me of, I still cannot tell.
But, but, but I will be able to, one day, when ponies expect it the least…
Okay, okay, sorry, Mister. I didn’t mean to scare you. Your aunt Pinkie will take care of the ghosties.
On track? What tracks? We’re in a tiny little room with a recorder and a giant soda.
How did I get that here? Through the door, duh.
So, what was I saying? Oh yeah, Hony had just earned the freedom to talk. Luna wanted more clarifications for his motives and how exactly he knew about us. Those ponies with the glasses and the notebooks hadn’t been able to get him to say, apparently.
Hony looked happy to volunteer actually. He hopped a bit, stretched his legs and tapped the floor.
“You sure you wanna hear this part?”
And then he smiled! Yup! A good fat smile, but it wasn’t just a ‘happy’ happy smile, no, it was that one where it’s a little higher on one side than the other, and it’s almost like you’re daring ponies to do something.
Dashie always do that too!
Well, anyway, it’s fine. Princess Luna did want to hear what he had to say. And wowbadonza! What he said made the crowd silent fast.
Tiny us moving inside electronic boxes called TV? I saw no problem with the idea. We could already have big us on the screens in the movie theater! So that was the next step?
I’m glad everypony will know what the future holds in store for us, rather than just being the only one to. Pinkie Sense for everypony and everyothercreature!
...
What do you mean that’s not how it works?! Awwwww…
Peh, that doesn’t matter! Hony’s story was super fun to hear. It’s really nice to know that people like to hear me sing and want to make other smiles too! No idea why he blanched at the mentions of cupcakes. Perhaps he is a muffin stallion.
I’ll convert him later. For now, his story time.
We were even more famous on his side of the Universe. What are the odds? Rarity looked happy enough, but Fluttershy and Dashie weren’t. Hmmmm, maybe this would require something to help them later. A party, maybe.
Hony’s voice was a lot more… hmmm, what could be the good word? Fanta-riffic? Confidentastic! That’s the word! He was looking like he was just given the chance to hold his own grandfoals!
But his ears drooped down quick! He muttered something under his breath that I didn’t catch.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said louder. “I’ll never see them again.”
Now his smile was unhappy…
--
Another wave of witnesses has been given permission to explain what they saw or what they went through at the hooves of the one commonly referred to as Honest Havoc.
Luna invited a bunch of ponies to talk about what the guy did to them. This part, it really did piss me off. It was hard to just stand there without giving that Havoc a piece of my mind.
Though, right now, it was that little Diamond Tiara filly that was crying her eyes out in front of the audience, with her father holding her while she wailed about the horrible stuff that happened to her.
Being one hundred percent honest? I didn’t really mind that the brat got what was coming to her. Scoots told me some of the stuff she says to the other kids.
But Honest Havoc? He was. The whole time he was looking more and more of a downer.
“I… I’m sorry…” he kept saying.
Then, he sorta perked up, like, in a split second, and it was a bit freakish to just see the switch in his behavior go on or off. One moment, he looked mopey and hating himself, the next he was just looking nowhere with very bright eyes and a completely clueless look on his face.
He started chewing on his lips, enough that some blood tickled down. The fat mare two seats in front of me fainted on the spot.
Ah! Lightweights!
“Wait, did I do that? I don’t remember doing that. Can I do that?” And he sounded a lot younger all of a sudden. “Hey, Mister Weird Manedo! Can I actually do the discording thing from afar without meaning to?”
The hushed whispering that had been everywhere since the brat’s testimony had started disappeared in a snap. There was a thick silence, and I didn’t say it here, but I was silent too.
I think what he said sort of hit everypony at once.
I could feel the ponies around me shift in their seats, like they were getting uncomfortable or itching to take flight.
But him? He couldn’t read the atmosphere if he tried!
“Oooooooooh, okay, you mean old banana Discord did it. Alright, alright, I just didn’t get that right away, sorry, sorry. Okay, so after he made you serve Twist fruit punch, that’s where I come in, right?”
Right , judging by how quickly Twi was going through her notes and muttering something about the timeframe, that wasn’t quite what happened. Me? I didn’t even need to check through my notes. It was pretty obvious, and tongues started to untie.
Yeah, yeah, I get it. It was a big thing to get over for everypony, but this was that Havoc stallion’s trial, not Discord. In case you wanted to know, we kicked Discord’s flank, again, harder than before. So, no, I was not any more sympathetic than the rest of everypony for this brat. What did she want? Special treatment?
Princess Luna rather quickly requested that their grievances be taken to one of the psychiatrists that had been hanging around the places hit by Discord.
Okay, the look on Filthy Rich and his brat’s faces was absolutely priceless . AH!
And he stood there blinking, eagerly waiting for somepony to explain to him at what part he did act against her. Not kidding, he genuinely didn’t get it. He even asked the pony holding his leash about it, and the guy remained tight lipped.
I didn’t hear the other stuff he asked, but it sounded like a recipe for cake.
Eh, he wasn’t so bad.
--
The witnesses have all testified to what they saw. Princess Luna has called for the defendant to make one final plea, if he so wishes. The Element of Magic is watching him and her older brother coordinating the guards in the room. She is noted to be frowning at the time of the plea.
Princess Celestia is still unconscious. The doctors are saying that her vital magic had been almost consumed by the time she was found. Until it regenerated to its normal levels, she would remain unconscious. And she had the greatest magical power in the country.
Every book I read, every report I looked at told me that my mentor would recover from Discord’s attack. But I still felt angry, I could not control that. Every time Honest Havoc opened his mouth, I felt more strings around my heart, crushing it. It was his fault! It had been his fault from beginning to end!
He had made a deal with Discord.
He didn’t deny his crimes. He accused himself of more than what we knew. He claimed to have been a complete idiot who knew that it was a fool’s idea, yet chose to do it anyway, on the off chance that he could have a better life.
He said… choking… that he deserved the worst of punishments, for he had willingly blinded himself to the most obvious truths before they were thrown back in his face.
A part of me, one that had allowed me to use dark magic before, agreed. It was a little voice, whispering in my ears. It said that the one that had gotten to my teacher like that, that had hurt my friends, that had put us through TARTARUS… would get what he deserved.
…I am ashamed to say that, had the next events not happened, I might have still been thinking that way. It was when he started to plead with Luna that she punished him to illustrate the height of his crimes, like, and I quote ‘put me in a cotton candy factory with a muzzle and three late report cards’.
Just then, as I could feel an eye roll coming, his voice became quiet and a flash blinked next to his claws. One of them was resting against his chest at the time, and it was from that spot that the corruption spread.
The entire courtroom backed away when his coat took a tainted grey tone.
Even Princess Luna didn’t expect that. My first reflex had been to look at her, thus I saw the slight widening of her eyes when the discordance operated.
The guards were already spreading in a circle around him. I recognized Shiny’s voice over the sudden clanks of armors. His horn already operated his spell, and a transparent dome fell over Honest Havoc.
It didn’t seem to register for the [sensitive information] . He…
He looked at Luna, then at himself with curiosity. I couldn’t get a read on him, I didn’t have the slightest idea what a being like him could think of when discorded.
He didn’t say a thing, not a word, not a noise, not any insane little giggle. His eyes were different, but they weren’t kind or unkind. They just… looked blank.
Then, quietly, he fell to his side and didn’t move.
My breath hitched up. W-was he…? No, that couldn’t have happened! Not like that!
More seconds passed in tense silence, before Princess Luna ordered one of them to move forth. An extremely bulky earth pony stepped through my brother’s shield and kneeled next to the stallion that might as well be a pile of books.
“He’s breathing,” said the guard.
But Havoc remained immobile, his gaze elsewhere.
It is still difficult for me to express precisely how I feel in regards to Honest Havoc. When my friends were put through the same treatment, when Discord used his perverted magic to turn them into their polar opposite, they all became destructive jerks. Him? He suddenly made Smarty Pants look like Pinkie Pie.
…Yes, I had that doll as a filly. It’s a classic edition, WITH the notebook and pencil.
Ahem… I’m sorry. I believe we were talking about my hypothesis about the discordance?
Well, if it inverts the core personality trait of a pony, if it makes them into their complete antithesis, then Honest Havoc’s core would be that of somepony that only desires to live happily.
…I’m sorry. I… I need a moment to think.
[This section of the interview has been blanked by personal request of Twilight Sparkle.]
It changed… many things…
That voice I mentioned stopped talking after that. Two others had taken its place to ask me questions I really disliked hearing. It didn’t stop even after he had been restored and his insane rambling had started again.
When Princess Luna left to deliberate, I felt my throat tighten. When she came back, I was nauseous.
--
Her voice rang over the courtroom and commanded the attention of all, most specially the accused.
“The accusations are as followed.”
Within her magical field, several papers started floating before her eyes.
“One charge of weakening the fabric of Reality. One charge of Forbidden Magic, of the subcategory: Dark Deal. Ten charges of possession and forced control of another being’s body. Disruption of peace. Reckless endangerment of foals. Six charges of property damages. Three charges of trespassing.”
He tried to speak up, doubtlessly to apologize again, but one of Shining Armor’s soldiers cut him off with a silencing hoof.
She continued.
“Through this trial, it has been demonstrated that you are guilty of those acts and pleaded for this verdict. This latter part being dismissed in regard to your inability to judge and interact with the rest of the world correctly. Regardless, there are no doubts about where the culpability of those crimes rest.”
Before her gaze, he gulped and shrank on himself. He seemed to ready himself for the worst.
“We have decided. Your punishment will be effective immediately,” she declared and swept the room one last time.
She saw ponies, her little ponies, that had been hurt once more because a Monster from before their time had been freed, that had suffered because of the actions of this one Honest Havoc. She saw each of their faces turned toward her with an expectation. It was she who had the responsibility to be just. It was no lesser weight.
“In regards to apparently repeated attempts at helping the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, as well as the lack of malicious intent and what is clearly a mental impairment, we shall be merciful.”
Even if, in her heart of hearts, she thought he did not deserve it.
The image of her sister, broken, danced before her very eyes. There had been a bite mark in her mane, but there hadn’t been anything to identify the source.
She banished the thought, for she could only look at facts and laws. She did not make them, she executed them. To the letter.
“Honest Havoc, you are henceforth considered a criminal of the highest caliber and immediately are to be placed under constant surveillance by the Dual Thrones. Your actions will become the responsibility of your handler, who has been chosen beforehoof.”
Her hammer fell down against the desk and echoed throughout the room with an air of finality. There would be no protest or outburst. Only acceptance.
On this signal, two of her night guards moved to the entrance of the courtroom. As one, they pulled upon the handles and a thunderous scraping noise boomed, making Honest Havoc jolt around.
She at least had the satisfaction of seeing him pale when the doors opened, when the one chosen started to trot inside. His were not the only eyes to widen in shock, and she took an almost juvenile pleasure in announcing the identity of the newcomer.
“Our nephew: Prince Blueblood.”
Author's Note
Yes. This is where I end this one. I'm not even trying to be subtle. This would be about it, though I might post an omake chapter with a little extra content. Maybe.Andoriol 's Broken Horn, his black ops ponies. He was part of Rarity's section.
