Chapters We're not in Mississippi anymore...
One Trip We Didn't Plan
It was just a normal day in a Mississippi forest. I was on a hike with my local Boy Scout troop. Before I get to the hike though, those reading this probably want to know what the hay Boy Scouts is and who I am. Boy Scouts a group of guys that go camping and do outdoors stuff like fire-bulding and knot-making. We have a 20+ group of guys that come together under an adult leader to go on trips that we normal couldn't go on in a city. Let me also say I'm a nerd. I'll be the first to admit it. I play the classic MMOs and I do the role-play games. I sound like a typical nerd right? Well... Truth is, I am. And because I'm the class nerd, Boy Scouts is usually the highlight of my month.
I was with my friend Kevin when we decided we would go on ahead of everyone else so we wouldn't be waiting on anyone. We decided to head off the trail and hike down the river. Thankfully, the river was low and there weren't too many fallen trees blocking our path. There were, however, lots of rocks we could jump on.So what did two boys in their teens do? We jumped from rock to rock thinking we were ninjas or playing Assassin's Creed 3. We were different high schools, but we were at the same grammar school since fourth grade. The hike went smoothly enough and we stopped in a rockier part of the creek to have our lunch of MRE's. Mine was Macaroni and Chili. Unfortunately, my heating packet didn't work, so I ate it cold. Surprisingly, it wasn't bad. After our meal we decided to go find the primitive trails in the park and hike the 2-3 mile hike. The trails were barely more than a cleared path. It also didn't help that the trails went up and down the hills like crazy. That 2-3 mile hike felt more like a marathon. I think I need to get in better shape. We found ourselves slipping multiple times just to get down a hill. We stopped about an hour later to catch our breath and Kevin and I started talking.
"Hey Doug, you have your phone right?" Kevin said.
"Yeah, why?" I responded.
"You know what Time it is?"
"About...1430."
"Thanks."
We sat in silence for a few moments catching our breath until he said:
"Is it true you watch My Little Pony?"
"Yeah. Why?"
Yes, its true. I'm a brony. I watch the show, I read the fan fiction, and I look at the fan art. A typical run-of-the-mill brony.
"No reason..." Kevin said. We sat there for a few moments.
"You ready to go?" I asked.
"Yeah, we need to finish by 1600, so let's get going."
We got up, I got my unnecessarily large pack and started going. Before I continue my story, let me go over my pack. It comes in handy later in my adventure. It was a regular light green hiking pack that kinda looked para-military. It held my First Aid kit, black hoodie, my USMC sweatshirt, my extra T-shirt, extra socks, a pair of jeans, an apple, cup, utensils, rain poncho, space blanket, and a few other bits and bobs. It was warmer than we expected when we were driven to the forest. I expected it to be much colder-like in the 30's or something. It was January and I could wear a T-shirt and be comfortable. In fact that as just what I was wearing. Actually, three T-shirts, pajama pants (they make for great long johns without being too hot, but still providing warmth), official BSA pants, boots, a boonie hat, my bullet necklace, an emergency whistle, and my pocket knife. One could say I was prepared for anything. Except I wasn't.
As Kevin and I were walking down the hill toward a creek, just a normal hill like any other with just a normal creek at its base, I slipped. It wasn't a normal slip either, It was a full wipeout. Before I knew it, I took Kevin out with me. I slid right into his legs. It was pretty funny actually. Except that we hit the creek hard. I blinked. Kevin was on top of me. He told me about what I expected to hear:
"Doug! Warn me next time you do something like that!"
"Yeah, yeah... It's not like I intentionally did it..."
He got off of me and looked around. The forest looked more dense now. In fact it didn't even look like the same trees.
"Uhhh Doug, do the trees look different to you?"
"Yeah, yeah they do..."
I've seen these kind of trees before. I'm pretty sure I saw it in-
"Hey its snowing! Look snow!" Kevin shouted.
And sure enough there it was. Snow. Snow everywhere. We don't see snow a lot in the Southern US. So for us it's a big deal.
"You're right... Kevin, did we pass out?"
"I don't think so..."
We got up and started looking for the trail. We didn't see it. The sun was about the same place in the sky as it was before we slipped. Okay, before I slipped and took both of us out.
"Doug... check your phone."
I unslung my pack and pulled out my phone. The phone read 1444, but the peculiar thing was that the phone said it was charging.
"Kevin, come here... Get a look at this..."
He came over and his eyes widened.
"You have any idea why its charging?"
"No." He replied.
"Well..." I said. "I don't think we're in Mississippi anymore."
"Where the hell are we then?" He asked.
"You remember that show I watch..."
"Yeah... Wait don't tell me-"
"I think we're in Equestria now."
And with that he just looked at me. The thoughts he was having were probably along the lines of 'You've got to be kidding me.'
"And from the looks of it, we're probably in Everfree forest..."
"How could you possibly know where we are?!" he yelled. "Its not like we could just be teleported to another dimension!"
"You'd be surprised..." I looked around. "Well there are two things that tell me we're in the Everfree..." I said calmly. "One: there are only two forests mentioned in the show, that I know of; and two: that because the trees have leaves we must be in the Everfree." and with that he he just stared at me. "Whitetail woods gets its leaves knocked off..."
"How do you know we're even in the show?" He asked still clearly agitated.
"Well-" before I could finish we heard a roar, and smelled the worst smell I've ever smelled in my life.
"Oh shit... Timberwolves..." I squeaked.
"What?"
"TIMBERWOLVES!! RU-U-U-U-N!!!" and with that I started running, which isn't easy to do in boots with a heavy pack on. Kevin caught on once he saw them. He quickly caught up to me.
"Wha-... whats the... plan?" he asked.
"RUN!"
Luckily we found a path. It kinda looked like the trail from the Running of the Leaves race.
"THIS WAY!" I screamed before running toward what looked like stands. As it turns out, they were stands. I ran up the stands to get a height advantage. I knew we couldn't outrun them forever. I pulled out my tiny pocketknife knowing it probably wouldn't do me any good.
"Up Here!"
Kevin quickly came up and got out his knife. It was a lot bigger than mine. Must be compensating for something. We dropped our packs on the top bench as the wolves started to come up. What happen next all I can really describe as a lot of kicking and attempted stabbing. My knife didn't help me at all; so, somewhere in the fight, I had slipped it in my pocket. We ended up beating the timberwolves off... For now. The worst we were injured was some cuts and bruises. I had a particularly nasty splinter on my palm after I pushed a timberwolf away. Timberwolves really aren't as bad as the show makes them out to be. Kevin and I got out out our First Aid kits and treated our battle wounds. We had gauze and Band-Aids all over us. We looked like we had just come from a Fight Club and lost... That or a hospital. Either way we were still sore. So, we just sat and drank the water we packed with us.
It was getting late. We had no shelter, save for the benches. It was below freezing. I had gotten my black hoodie and put it on while Kevin took my USMC sweatshirt. We came to the consensus that one would have to sleep while the other stood watch. Then, it hit me.
"Kevin have we tried using our whistles yet?" I asked.
"You know what, we haven't... You want to do the honors?"
"Sure." I then pulled the whistle out from around my neck and blew. Hard. I must've woken up every animal on this side of the woods. I continued blowing the whistle every ten or so minutes. Nothing came.
It was dusk now and no help had come. We decided that in the morning we would continue our hike toward some kind of civilization. Then they found us. Two ponies... No, a pegasus and an earth pony. Two I knew from the show were looking at us with confusion. It was Carrot Top and Fluttershy. Kevin and I just looked at each other.
"What are you?" Carrot Top asked us.
I spoke up before Kevin could say anything.
"Humans. We're... humans."
They looked at us like they had just found the scariest thing in existence. We probably were. Two bipedal beings in a world where most things walk on four legs. Must be some culture shock or something. We could easily see them panicking.
"I'm going to guess there's stor-" I was cut off.
"RUUUUUUNNNN!!!" Carrot Top screamed as she took off. Damn she's fast. I wish I could run like that. Fluttershy just put her head on the ground and covered it with her hooves.
"What'd we do?" Kevin asked.
"I think ponies must have scary stories about humans." I answered.
Fluttershy spoke up, "P-p-please d-d-don't e-eat me...."
"Fluttershy, why would we eat you?" I asked.
"Well... b-bec-c-cause... there are l-le-g-gends..."
"About humans eating meat?" She nodded. I thought I may as well get this touchy subject out of the way now. "I hate to tell you, but those legends are true."
And with that she went wide eyed with fear. Then I spoke up, what I thought, were words of reassurance before she could say anything.
"We aren't going to hurt anybod-pony... We just need to find a way to get home." As much as I wanted live out the rest of my life in Equestria, I had a life back home. I would have been perfectly happy, except for the fact that ponies were scared to death of me. That, and my troop and family must be worried sick about me. I hate to make them worry.
"o-o-ok-k-kay..." she squeaked. She clearly didn't believe me.
Then I heard what could only be described as an angry mob approaching. I could see lights in the forest. It looked to be magical lights and fire. The first thought that popped into my head was 'Great now we have a mob after us... Can this get any worse?'
"Fluttershy," I started, "would you be so kind to ask the angry mob of ponies to, oh I don't know, not kill us?"
I looked over at Kevin. He looked like he has passed out. Poor guy. It was a wonder I hadn't passed out yet. Lord knows I should have. What with the hike and the fight, we were lucky to be alive, let alone awake.
Fluttershy answered me, "s-sure. I g-guess..."
And with that I decided all I could do was wait. Fluttershy went off to ask the angry mob of ponies to 'not kill us'. I should have said 'not hurt us'. Hopefully there were no lawyers in that crowd who would find that loophole. I hate finding loopholes that other people can exploit after-the-fact. I found myself drifting off to sleep soon after. I rested my head on my bag and fell asleep. In hindsight, that was a really bad decision.
Author's Note
Don't know when I will be able to post again. Kinda have school 'n stuff. :/
Revised this a little bit. Probably not much better. But hey, its better than not putting anything up right?
One Trip We Didn't Plan
Chapter 2
"...And thats how we're here." Doug said glumly to a pony officer. He and Kevin were in what looked like a jail cell. It was a simple room with bars going dividing it and a door on the other side that led to more of the building and freedom. They had been stripped of their bags and were being interrogated by a pony officer. The officer did not have to force the information out of Kevin and Doug. They just answered as well as they could hoping they would be granted an audience with the princesses.
"Can I ask a question for once?" Kevin said annoyed. He had been cut off by the officer pony every time he tried to ask a question.
"How'd we end up here? Like in jail?"
"Oh, right! A group of ponies were trying to chase off some timberwolves with fire when, what was that mare's name?... Fluttershy! When flutter shy led the group to you two. They took you here and you've been asleep when they found you."
"so much for taking shifts sleeping... Doug." Kevin muttered.
"Okay, I fell asleep on the job, what do ya want? An apology? Looke here. I'm sorry. Okay?" Doug replied.
"Whatever..."
"Well then I guess my work here is done..." The officer pony said.
"Can we go now?" Kevin asked, "I would like to get out of this crazy world of talking ponies soon ya know..."
"Sorry boys just 'cuz my work is done, doesn't mean everypony's business is done." The officer said with a smirk. "Now you two, err... 'hyoo-mahns' have a choice. Pick a color: purple or pink?" The officer pony's question sent Doug and Kevin for a loop. Kevin looked at Doug, and before Doug could say anything, Kevin said "Pink?"
The mare questioning them laughed like she had heard the funniest joke in the word, and with a devious smile she said, "Alright pinks-Your'e up!" Doug's pupils shrank. He knew what was about to happen, and he wouldn't be happy.
"Ooooooooh so that's what they look like!" Pinkie Pie said as she entered the room. "Thanks for letting me in here Sea Breeze!"
"No problem Pinks, just keep the partying down okay? We don't need a repeat of the last time yo tried to use your 'Welcome to Ponyville' machine indoors..." Pinkie looked sad for a moment and then replied as if nothing was said with her trademark "okie-dokie-loki!" Doug and Kevin just sat there looking at Pinkie. Neither had anything good to say about their situation.
"Well... If I can't give you two a party now , I'll just give you cupcakes!" Doug tensed up. He could only think of the one story with that very title. Cupcakes. The idea of the gore and torture went through his mind. realizing that he and Kevin could be in serious danger if they were in a 'cupcakes' universe he uneasily asked, "H-hey... P-Pinkie?"
"Yes?"
"Did you...ummm...Did you add a ummm... a 'dash' of something special?"
"Yes! Of course I did!" Doug nearly fainted.
"Doug, something wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost." Kevin asked.
"Y-yeah... f-f-fine... We are so going to die..."
"What?" Everypony in the room, plus Kevin, asked.
"Give me a sec..." Doug said as he stood up, turned toward the wall, and... BDUM! Slammed his head on the wall and collapsed on the floor.
"Holy shit! Doug!" Kevin said. Pinkie Pie looked at Doug's unconscious body. She was puzzled. Never before had somepony (or someone) knocked themselves out when she said she added her a dash of something special. She asked innocently, "Does he not like guacamole or something?" Sea Breeze looked at her and asked. "Thats your special ingredient?"
"Well duuuuh! What'd you think it was? Salt?"
"I never really thought about it..." Sea Breeze mused.
It hit Kevin like a fastball to the face. The fact that Doug had been trying to get him and a few other guys to listen to or read an story called Cupcakes. Doug said it was about ponies torturing, murdering, and baking each other into cupcakes. Definitely not his kind of story. Pinkie had offered him a cupcake with a dash of something special. Doug must have thought the something special was baked pony or something. "Uhh... girls?" Kevin started.
"Yeah?" They both replied.
"Doug didn't know what your special ingredient was..."
"So?" Pinkie asked.
"He thought it was... ummm... How do I say this..."
"Come on get it out!" Sea Breeze said mildly annoyed that Kevin was withholding information that could be important to the psychological state of her new 'guest'. Doug seemed unusually calm when she had entered the room. Which was odd because ponies rarely did truly bad things, so when she saw them, most were fearing the consequences to come.
"He thought the special ingredient was pony meat." Kevin said flatly. The two mares were taken aback. They never heard of cannibalism in a pastry before. Both mares dropped their jaws. Pinkie's hit the floor.
"Can I have one of those cupcakes now that the...the...the misconception was taken care of?" Kevin asked. He looked over to his unconscious friend and started laughing. The two mares were confused now. Did they just stumble upon two lunatics from another world?
Author's Note
Sorry this took so long to get out, school n' stuff...
One Trip We Didn't Plan
Chapter 3
"He should be fine, its going to leave a bruise though." Sea Breeze sighed with relief. She didn't expect her 'guest' to knock himself unconscious. The other guest was resting on the other side of the cell she and Dr. Stable were in. "Thank you Dr. Stable, do you mind waiting nearby? I might need to call you again."
Kevin chuckled. "Oh, nothing..." There was a moment of silence. She was curious why hadn't he just tried to escape? She didn't want to give him any ideas, but her curiosity got the better of her. "Kevin? Why didn-"
"Owwwwnngh... My head..." Doug moaned while he sat up.
"Welcome back to the land of the living Doug." Kevin smiled. Doug had told him that line many times when he woke up late on a campout.
"The land of the dead hurt less..." Doug mumbled.
"Now that you two are awake-"
"Wait, that wasn't some lucid dream I just had? HOLY SHIII-
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Twilight was waiting inside the small Ponyville Police Department building. It was just big enough for an office, a waiting room, and a cell. She was told Pinkie had scared one of the...things into unconsciousness. Pinkie was told to leave and she had seen Dr. Stable ushered into the room with the cell. "I hope everypony is okay..." She said quietly to her self.
"Kevin, slap me!"
"One through five, how hard?"
"Five!"
"Oh this is going to be fun... This might sting Doug." Kevin mumbled. The creature Twilight presumed to be Kevin said. It stood up on two legs which twilight instantly took a mental note of. Kevin brought his hand back and slapped Doug across the face. Hard. Doug fell to the floor with a large red spot on his cheek. Twilight noticed that 'Doug' as his presumed friend called him had a large bruise above his right eye.
"What did you do?! And why are you in here?" Sea Breeze yelled. "I told you to wait outside!"
"I-I heard screaming so I ran in." Twilight responded.
"Very well then... I guess you can ask your questions now."
"Wait is that-" Doug looked up and saw Twilight. "Oh BUCK ME!" Doug screamed as Twilight walked closer to the bars of their cell.
"Whats wrong?" Twilight asked.
"Kevin brace yourself, you're about to be bombarded with questions from the most curious mare in all of Equestria."
Twilight was confused, but she decided it was something to ask the two beings in front of her later after she found out what they were and how they got here. "Okaaaay... Well I'm just going to jump into my questions then..."
"Fine by me... Hey Breezey, if we answer all of this unicorns questions can we go?" Kevin asked impatiently.
"Yeah, but don't call me Breezey!" The detective snapped back.
"...number two.. casual with authority..." Twilight mumbled as she started writing on a piece of parchment produced from seemingly nowhere.
"Okay Doug, get your cool, you're just inside a jail cell in your favorite TV show... With a possibility of a nympho writing down your every movement. Nothing to worry about..." Doug was talking to himself now. He dropped down into a fetal position and started rocking himself. "This is definitely not the way the people in fanfics were treated... So I'm definitely not in a human fic... maybe I'm in the cannon world... Or I'm hallucinating from hitting my head too hard..." Doug was only talking to himself as Kevin started to explain to Twilight that he and Doug fell down a hill and woke up in the Everfree forest, were chased by Timberwolves, slept, and woke up here. Twilight was writing everything Kevin said down eager to hear more from the thing that had so abruptly entered her world.
"So is that it? Can we leave now?" Kevin asked again.
"Unfortunately, no. I'm going to send the Princess a letter and ask her what we should do. Then-"
"That's going to take forever!" Kevin complained. "And-"
Now it was Twilight's turn to cut him off. "Yes, by any conventional means. But I have Spike who can send the Princess the letter and have it reach her immediately."
"Doug who's Spike? Some kind of pet?"
"No, he's Twilight's baby dragon assistant." Doug said continuing to mumble to himself. Twilight perked up when she heard this. "Wait... How did you know... Spike and... You did say you're not from here right?"
"May as well get this out now. Twilight,-" Doug inhaled and stood up. "-back where we're from we have things called TV's." Twilight mouthed the word. "Tee... Vhee..."
"And on said TV's are things called TV shows and movies. Its kind of like a.. a... a play you can watch over and over again. Anyway, you, your friends, the princesses and your adventures are watched by hundreds of thousands of people all over our world. You're one of the main characters, in fact, you're the main character. I know all about the Nightmare Moon incident, Discord, Chrysilis, Luna's Nightmare Night visit, exactly how Dash's time at the Wonderbolts academy went, and much more. Need I go on?"
Twilight was dumbfounded. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that an alien has watched her and her friends' saving Equestria. She glanced over to Sea Breeze who had a look fear and determination on her face until Breeze said "Prove it. Prove you know what you're talkin' about and you didn't just read it off some newspaper." With that Doug smiled. a maniacal smile. One that would have rivaled the Joker himself. Everypony in the room was scared of Doug now. Kevin knew Doug was about to have fun. All those hours of Roleplay games was about to pay off for Doug.
Author's Note
Sorry if it sucks more than usual, wrote half of this in an off-period.
Also, should I post it before I fix the pic anyway?
One Trip We Didn't Plan
Chapter 4
"What would you two like me to show you first: video clips from your life, pictures of you and your friends, or should I just amaze you with the knowledge of your universe that I shouldn't know? Choice is yours."
Twilight started to say something when it looked to her that Kevin had a lightbulb go off in his head. He leaned over to Doug and whispered something in his ear. Doug's eyes shot wide open and they both started laughing like madmen.
"What's wrong with you two? What's so funny!" Sea Breeze said wanting to know what was so funny. She hated being left out of a good joke.
Doug calmed down enough to say, "We'll show you two if you can get Rainbow and Pinkie in here."
"And we're not saying anything else until you do!" Kevin piped in.
"Seriously?" Twilight said. "Your'e going to make us go and find those two just so you an play some joke on them?"
"Its best if they see this for themselves" Doug couldn't resist a smile. "Or maybe you should get your favorite Princess down here so I can show you both that I know what happened Last Friday Night ?
Twilight was confused. "Last friday night I was out having tea with Rarity."
"I mean the night you ripped your favorite party dress. "
"When did I... Nevermind... I'll just Get rainbow and Pinkie..."
"I'm going with her, so don't try anything funny!" Sea Breeze said.
"Spoken like a true movie villain." Kevin said quietly. Only Doug heard him. They both smiled again. Twilight and Sea Breeze let the cell leaving Doug and Kevin just sitting there. "Wanna bust the door open so when they come back they'll freak out?" Kevin asked.
"Definitely." And with that they set to work trying to get their cell door open. Doug's first thought was to pick the lock with his pocketknife, which the ponies forgot to take. But the idea was shot down when Kevin pointed out that the hinges were rusty and that the lock looked ancient. "Well then, if its that rusty... Kick it." Doug quipped.
"Alright. Stand back." Kevin stared at the lock for a moment. Then raised his knee up and... Crrrrch! The lock was broken and the cell door swung freely open banging on the wall. "Well that was easy." Kevin said to himself.
"Lets get our stuff, and then I'm going to play some music for myself."
"Go for it."
"Did I ever show you that Andrew WK song with cupcakes?"
"Yeah you did. You practically made everyone watch that and the reaction video."
"Guess what, I got better than those pictures you were talking about, I got the whole song and animation!"
"Ha! This is going to be great!" And with that they both dragged their packs back to their cell and sat on the floor. They both sat there for a long time. The only time they talked was when Doug asked if Kevin wanted to listen to some country music which Kevin agreed to. They were about halfway through 'Home' when Sea Breeze, Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie walked in. Twilight looked around. "Where's the music coming from?'
"Ma phone" Doug said stopping the music. "You're probably wondering why I've gathered you here... God I've always wanted to say that!"
"Hay! Wait a minute! How'd you get your cell open!?" Sea Breeze questioned. Nopony had ever broken out of the cell before. "And why'd ya not run away?"
"Because if we did we couldn't prove that we know you all, and you'd probably catch us and throw us back in here. That Good enough for ya?" Kevin replied.
"Oh, Rainbow these are the two, things we caught the other night. The one with the bump on his head is named Doug, and the other is named Kevin. Both Kevin and Doug said 'Hey" but one was clearly more enthusiastic than the other.
"Now to prove we watch you from another dimension. Now if I can direct you girls to look at the screen, we can get started." Doug said with a sinister smile. The girls looked at the black box in his hand which started to play what sounded like carnival music...
The girls were horrified. Dash looked like she was about to blow chunks and Pinkie had backed herself into a corner. Doug and Kevin were laughing so hard it started to hurt. Sea Breeze was the first to speak after the song.
"O-Okay, that doesn't prove you know about everything we do... Thats not even close to what really happens!"
"Yeah you're right... Thats just a joke we had to play, right Kevin?"
"Right"
"Now, Twilight, about last friday night..." Doug flipped to the saved videos on his phone and found 'Last Friday Night' and then showed it to the only two mares left standing at the bars of the cell. "I honestly don't think you would remember that night... "
After the video finished, Twilight was red with embarrassment, Sea Breeze looked shocked, Rainbow Dash was still in her corner, and Pinkie was no where to be found. Kevin was simply chuckling to himself once he saw the pictures.
"Believe that I watch you girls in another dimension for entertainment yet?" Doug asked.
"I need to go write a letter to the princess now..." Twilight stated before running out the door.
"How could you dare suggest the princess do something like that!" Sea Breeze was angry. Insulting a pony goddess was pretty high on the list of things one should not do while in Equestria.
"We weren't, Katy Perry was. By the way, the cell door is still open." Kevin smarted.
"Wha- ARGH!" Sea Breeze screamed before walking out of the cell room and closing the outer door.
"Now what?" Doug asked.
"I don't know about you, but I'm gonna take a nap until they get back." Kevin replied before laying back in a corner.
"Ya know what? I think I'm gonna take a catnap too." And with that Doug wen to the opposite corner of the cell, layer down, and went to sleep.
Author's Note
Wrote this over the course of the day. Whata ya think?
One Trip We Didn't Plan
Chapter 5
Doug had just about to drift off to sleep when the detective Sea Breeze opened the door and looked into the cell room. She was trying to be quiet, so Doug assumed she thought that he and Kevin were asleep. He decided to fake sleeping to see if he could scare her if she came close. Sea Breeze turned out and whispered something. Slowly she backed out the door. She was replaced by a tall dark gray pony. When it saw the two humans its eyes shrank to the size of pinpricks. It slowly walked into the room and Doug could see it was a stallion. From where Doug was laying, he estimated this new pony to be four-and-a-half to five feet tall. He was clearly taller than the other ponies that had visited earlier.
"Alright, they look like they're asleep. Make sure they stay that way for the transit, Ms." The gray pony said. A unicorn creeped into the stone cell. Doug was watching through half-lidded eyes when the unknown unicorn's horn began to glow. Doug could tell it was a mare. She moved closer to Doug and Kevin.
"This should keep them asleep for the ride to Canterlot." She said. Doug blinked. He wasn't in the cell anymore.
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"Doug, where the hell are we?" Kevin asked. He and Doug were moved to a dark stone room, and they were being suspended in the air by what looked like blue lightning. There was a single heavy wooden door a few feet in front of them.
"From the fanfics I've read, I think we're in the Canterlot dungeon."
"Really? How do you- no! wait let me guess."
"The fan fiction" They both said.
They hung there saying nothing for a while, just studying the walls and door of the room they were in.
"I kinda feel like Obi Wan in Episode 2." Doug said.
"Where'd that come from?"
"You know, Star Wars: Episode 2? Attack of the Clones? Obi Wan is captured by Count Dooku and is held in ummm... oh what are they called... the lightning cuffs... ohhh I can't remember."
"No. I don't remember because I haven't seen Episode 2."
"How have you not-" Doug was cut off as the door creaked open. A Brown unicorn guard trotted into the cell. He looked average size for a pony and was wearing the royal solar guard armor. The pony stared at the humans and the humans stared at the pony. There was a tense silence in the air. Kevin tried to start a conversation with the unicorn but the only response he got from it was a grunt. He tried again. "Soooo... are you just going to let us hang here or are you going to let us down?"
"Which of you had the pictures of the princess?" The unicorn spoke calmly, but with authority.
"That would be me." Doug said. The brown unicorn turned to Doug.
"I'm taking you to the princesses, I'll be back for you later."
"Alrightee then! But, can I at least walk there? I rather not just be levitated in."
The unicorn pondered the thought for a moment. Then a yellow glow overtook his horn and Doung floated down to the ground. The blue electric bindings on his hand drew closer together until his wrists were touching. Doug found that he could rotate his wrists around each other, as long as they were touching. After playing around with his blue bindings, he settled for crossing his arms at the wrists.
"You happy now?." The unicorn said before leading them both away. Kevin called out before he lost sight of Doug, "When you come back, bring me something to eat!"
The brown unicorn led Doug through Canterlot Castle toward the throne room.
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"Sister" Luna grumbled, "Why did thou wake us during your bright day? Thou knows we sleep while your sun is out."
"Because Lulu, Twilight has asked us to look into a most troubling matter."
"What would that be, dear Sister?'
"Luna... Do you remeber the tales of humans when we were young?" Luna's ears perked up.
"Of course."
"What if I told you they were real." Celelestia stated. She was expecting Luna to be shocked, but she was unfazed.
"We already knew that sister, we thought you did as well." Celestia was shocked, she had no idea how Luna knew. Only two beings remained in Equestria that knew humans were real. Now three, her, Luna, and-
"Your majesties! The prisoner is here!"
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Back in Ponyville...
Night Air was flying toward Twilight Sparkle's tree library. He wanted to talk to her after Sea Breeze said she was extremely embarrassed at the pictures of her and Celestia. He had been long time friends with Sea Breeze, going back as far as when he went to the West Hoof Acadamy. They had both attended and joined the guard as 2nd Liutenents after they finished. Sea Breeze left the guard in favor of Detective work in Ponyville. Night Air was still with the Royal Guard as a 1st Liutenent. He was in charge of a platoon of pegasi that would respond in emergencies.
Night Air reached Twilight's tree but as he went to knock on the door, it suddenly swung open.
"There you are!" Twilight said as she reached out and pulled Night Air in.
"Whats going on?"
"I been expecting you to show up. I asked Sea Breeze if she could help me, but when she couldn't, she said she'd send you."
"Okaaaay... What do you need help with?"
"What do you think?"
"I came to see if I could look at your notes on the creatures..."
"Thats what we need help with! The humans were gone when I had gotten back from sending Princess Celestia a letter about them."
"That? Oh thats easy. I had a royal guard squad that was passing through take them to Canterlot."
"..."
"Something wrong?"
"Oh no... I'm just trying to figure out why it would be a good idea TO SEND TWO ALIEN BEINGS WITH UNKNOWN POWERS STRAIGHT TO CANTERLOT!!!" Twilight was screaming.
"Horseapples. Guess I have to calm her down..."
Author's Note
Constructive criticism welcome!
One Trip We Didn't Plan
Chapter 6
"You Majesties! The prisoner is here!" The guard escorting Doug said.
Doug was escorted into the throne-room where Celestia and Luna were siting on the dais. They both looked at the human with curiosity, but Luna looked at Doug differently than her sister. Luna looked exited.
Doug snapped his feet together and saluted the princesses with his right hand bringing his left up as well, for he was lightning- cuffed. "Ma'am Star Scout Douglas, of the Boy Scouts of America, reporting for questioning ma'am!"
The two princesses looked at each other. Neither knew what to think of the being that had just given a military report. Doug stood continuing to salute while the princesses contemplated what they should say. It was not every day when they had an alien brought before them and addresses them as its military superior.
"At...ease?" Celestia said hesitantly.
Doug dropped his hands and let out a sigh.
"Thanks. Now... Should I be formal with you or... I'm sorry, but I never really talked to a princess before."
Luna looked as if she was about to say something but Celestia cut her off.
"Informalities will work fine here. We already know you are a human, just tell us where you came from."
"Earth."
"Care to be more specific?" Celestia asked.
"I came from Mississippi, in United States of America, on planet Earth, orbiting the star Sol, spinning the Milky Way Galaxy, Ma'am."
"Yes... Why did you come here?"
"Well... Me and my friend didn't intentionally come here." He paused thinking. "We just sorta... umm... Fell down a hill and woke up in the Everfree Forest. I don't really know what happened."
"Very well then. Please tell me where you got the pictures of me and Twilight? And could you show me the small box that played music and showed said pictures?"
"Sure. If I can get out of these cuffs."
The two royal sisters looked at each other. Luna nodded and Celestia nodded in reply. They looked back at Doug and a yellow glow began to form around his wrists. Soon the blue, lightning cuffs were gone. Doug rubbed one of his wrists.
"Ahh. Much better. Thank you. Now then..." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. It was still charging. Doug opened up his music app and looked to the princesses sitting on their dais.
"May I come up?"
Celestia looked to her sister again. Luna hesitantly nodded. Celestia looked back at Doug and motioned for him to approach. He held out his phone to show the two royal sisters the video, but Luna took it from him in her blue aura.
"I still need to play the song, Luna. Can I have it back?"
"How does it work?" Luna asked. She was clearly curious at the technology.
"Give it here and I'll show you."
She reluctantly levitated it back to Doug while Celestia watched with interest at how he operated the little box.
"Now your Majesties, I present to you a song by a famous singer on Earth. It's name? Last Friday Night. And yes this is the one I showed Twilight."
Doug played the song.
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"There. Better now?"
Night Air was standing in front of Twilight while she sat on her couch breathing into a paper bag.
"Yes. Much better. Thanks."
"No problem... Only one thing though."
"What's that?"
"You wrecked the library."
It was true. Twilight had nearly destroyed her own library. All the books were off their shelves, parts of the room were singed, and the windows were blown out. Twilight looked around at her own destruction.
"Rrrrrgh! Its going to take ages to clean this place!"
"Which gives you that much more time to cool down." Night Air answered. "Now I'm going to leave, please do not, I repeat, do not go to Canterlot. Okay? I'll make sure nothing happens to the princesses."
"And what if I followed you?"
"I'll tell her that you destroyed your library."
"She know I do that time to time. Anything else you gonna tell her?"
Night Air smiled deviously. "Well I could tell her about the books you had under your bed..."
"How do you know-"
"They blew out from under your bed while you were going an a rampage. I hid in your bedroom and the wind you generated blew them out of hiding."
Twilight gasped. "You. Wouldn't. Dare."
"Try me."
Now I have to stay and clean. If she finds out what I've been reading I'll be back in magic kindergarden for being so immature.
"...Fine."
"Good mare. Now I'm going to go say hi to Breezy. Have fun cleaning up! Tschuss!"Night air said as he happily trotted out of the Golden Oaks Library before taking to the skies to find Sea Breeze again.
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Luna was laughing. Celestia was shocked. The two royal sisters held very different opinions of the human now. Luna thought he was great, she could not stop laughing. She made a mental note to talk to Doug later and see what else he had on his mysterious box. Celestia on the other hand (hoof?) was embarrassed. He entire face was pink, almost one the shades of her mane. She now disliked Doug. A lot.
"Why! I have never seen such embarrassing pictures in my life! Twilight and I have a strict student-teacher relationship!"
"Bwahahahaha!"
"Its good to know that somepony found that enjoyable."
"Guards! Alien! Dungeon! Now!"
"Eff..."
Author's Note
Tschuss = one of the many ways to say 'goodbye' in German
I hope everybody enjoyed the chapter. Remember, feedback is appreciated.
To the Dungeon... Again...
One Trip We Didn't Plan
Chapter 7
"So Doug How'd it go?" Kevin asked.
"Just peachy"
Doug was being levitated into the air next to Kevin in the blue-lightning-handcuffs. Once Doug was floating next to Kevin, the brown unicorn, who had escorted Doug to Celestia and Luna, huffed and trotted out the dungeon cell. he closed the door behind him.
"What did you do this time?"
"Celestia asked me to show her what I'd shown Twilight back in Ponyville. She apparently doesn't like picture of her and Twilight partying together... That or she hates Katy Perry."
"Doug... Who's Celestia and Twilight? And where the hell is Ponyville?"
"Twilight was the purple unicorn we met back in the other cell. Celestia rules over Equestria, the country we are now in; and raises the sun. Ponyville was where the woods were where we came here and the first cell we were in."
"Ohhh...."
The two boys hung in silence for a minute. kevin noticed Doug playing with something in his right hand.
"Whatcha doing?"
"Finding suitable dungeon music..."
"Oh... Wait... Why do you have dungeon music?"
"Its nice when you play RPGs and you have music to go with- there you are!"
Doug played the song on his phone.
"This is a favorite of mine. I usually play it for when players are walking in a crypt. It works for dungeons too."
They hung there listening to Midnight Syndicate. Other songs began to play each with the creepiness that should be saved for fiction. They were not the only ones listening to the music. Guards started to listen in. The song echoed through the hallways making it impossible to find out where it came from. Ponies began to panic. A ponies started to scream at little noises. the screams were heard throughout the entire dungeon, both male and female.
Kevin and Doug started to enjoy the fear the songs were instilling in ponies.
"I like this." Doug said.
"Me too." Kevin replied.
"Is that bad thing I like to scare ponies shitless?"
"Probably."
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"Sister! Why did thou send him away?"
"Because that was insulting!"
Celestia and Luna were sitting in the throne room. Doug had just been taken away but Luna wanted him to stay and talk. celestia would have none of it.
"It was harmless! Thou had asked him to show you what he showed Twilight and he did! Was that not in the letter Twilight sent you?"
"She sid not inform me of what was in said letter. She made it very clear that I should see it for myself."
"Sister the humans come from a different culture than we do, is it not possible he did not know that he had insulted thou?"
"...I suppose you are right, Luna."
Celestia sighed. She did not want the human back in her throne room. It had insulted her and her student by putting them in pictures that were never taken. Celestia would never be that intimate with Twilight.
"Luna... If you wish to talk to the human... You can go see him. i do not want him back in here though."
"We are glad you see it that way, sister. Truth be told, we were going to visit him even if thou said we could not."
Before Celestia could say anything to her sister, Luna got up and made her way from the dais to the door. She really wanted to meet this human. Just before the unicorn guards were about to open the great doors, a earth pony guard burst open the doors. Luckily, he stopped right before Luna.
"Your majesties, there is music in the dungeon! Nopony can find the source anywhere. Ponies are beginning to think it is haunted!"
"What's so bad about music?" Celestia asked as she made her way over to the earth pony and her sister.
"Your highness, its creepy music to play in a dungeon. And there is also laughter. Sounds like two monsters that laugh harder at every scream."
Luna looked at Celestia.
"Does thou think what we are thinking?"
"The humans?"
"Yes the human- wait! Did thou say humans ?" Luna placed extra emphasis on the s .
"Yes. Why?"
Luna's eyes lit up. Now Celestia was puzzled. Why was Luna so interested in there being more than one human?
"Igottagoseethemnowbye!" Luna qucikly rattled off before bolting out of the throne room entirely headed for the dungeon. Celestia just stared at her sister as she raced down the hallway.
"Something fishy is going on..."
"My apologies, princess. The griffons have arrived and one of them asked me to bring him a fish... And now I smell like it."
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"Where is it coming from?! Where!? Where!"
Doug and Kevin listened as ponies throught the dungeon were terrified. They couln't help but smile as they listened to the chaos they caused. They wanted to cause as much harmless panic as they could. And they would.
"Kevin?"
"Yeah?"
"You can still do that evil voice that you did a few campouts ago, right?"
Kevin smiled. He knew exactly waht Doug was thinking. Make the ponies belive that there is a spirit in the dungeon.
"Oh hell yes!" he cleared his throat. "BWHAAAAHAHAAHAA !!" Kevin cackled and the dungeon went quiet. Doug stopped the music. "Its soooo good the be free!! Now I can finally get the hell out of here and nothing will stand in my way!! Darkness will once again rule!! And nobody, nohow is going to stop me!!
Several more screams were heard. Kevin and Doug laughed until their sides hurt. They knew that they had instilled fear in the ponies of the dungeon. They laughed until they heard hooves racing toward their door. They quickly collected themselves. They did not anybody to know they were the ones making music and laughing like sociopaths.
The door slowly opened and Luna walked in. She saw Doug then Kevin. She looked estatic.
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"...and then you sent them to Canterlot." Sea Breeze was sitting in her small house on a cushion with Night Air across a table on anoher cushion. She owned a small but cozy home. She was currently in her dining room sitting with Night Air. She had just finished telling him everything she knew about the humans that had recently arrived in Equestria.
"So...thats all we know?"
"Yep."
"So let me get this straight-" Night Air cleared his throat, "-you are telling me that, from all the things you know and have read about, all we know is that they came here; they went to jail; scared you and some other ponies; and then I sent them to Canterlot?"
"Pretty much."
"Is there anypony in this town that has any bucking clue what a human is? Beyond just knowing the common stories-I'm talking mythology professors and ponies like that."
"Well..." Sea Breeze looked up at the ceiling. She was obviously thinking about all the ponies she knew. She looked at Night Air and smiled. She knew exactly who to find. "Two ponies I can think of, and you already talked to one."
"Let me guess-"
"Twilight." They said together. It made sense that the famous purple unicorn would know something about the human mythology. It was no secret that Twilight had read every book in her library at some point.
"Who's the other?"
"Her name's Lyra Heartstrings, she-"
Night Air was shocked. "LYRA! That crazy pony? Nuh-uh. Not doing it."
"Yeah, that a problem?"
"We dated for a while in Canterlot, before I went to the Academy. We broke up because when I had to leave."
"...and this is important because?"
"She hates my guts. She said if I truly loved her, I would have stayed."
"Oh... So... You told her you loved her?"
"Maybe... I was young and stupid back then, I didn't know what I was saying."
"Ahhh... Thats why you were a little zipper-lipped when it came to mares... Before I met you at least."
"She was bonkers! I'm telling you! She has al these crazy conspiracy theories and stuff... Oh and she thinks I'm dead."
"what." Sea Breeze deadpanned.
"She kept sending me letters so I... I kinda... I kinda faked my death to her and got a couple of guys to join in."
"A little extreme don't you think?'
"You don't know the half of it... I have a tombstone in Canterlot with my name on it."
Author's Note
Constructive criticism welcome!
One Trip We Didn't Plan
Luna beamed. Finally, two humans, right in front of her! She could barely contain herself, let alone her wings. She was just too happy for her own good, and it showed.
*squee* "We can't believe you're actually here! We've -I mean- I've been wanting to talk to one of you ever since I heard about you!"
Kevin was dumbfounded. Doug was wearing one of the biggest smiles he had ever worn. Before Kevin could get a word out, Doug spoke.
"Hello Princess Luna, didn't think I'd be seeing you so soon."
"Yes, after the way our sister treated you we had to come and talk to you. Then we found out there were two of you! We could not be happier!"
"Well... perhaps if you let us down... we could give you a hug or something. Would that make you happier?" Kevin piped in. Doug took a look at Kevin as if to say 'back off, I'm talking to her!'
"That tis a splendid idea Mr...?"
"Kevin ma'am."
"Mr. Kevin! What a great idea! Guard? Please come let the humans down."
The brown unicorn that had escorted Doug walked in the room. The unicorn looked uneasy. It was clear he did not like the idea of letting the humans down from their suspended positions.
"Yes, Princess." He quickly said and released Doug and Kevin from their blue-lightning-bonds. The both landed on their feet. Doug and to lean over and touch the ground to keep form falling over. Kevin was fine.
"Thank you, Princess." Doug said politely.
"Yeah, thanks. You want that hug now?"
"More than ever!"
Luna ran up to Kevin and gave him the biggest and hardest hug he had ever received in his life. Doug quickly ran up a hugged Luna, taking extra care to avoid her wings.
"Group hug!"
*squee*
The three hugged in the center of the room while the unicorn guard stood in the doorway. The guard didn't know what to think. He was watching as two of the possibly most dangerous creatures in Equestria hug one of the princesses.
I wonder if I should tell Princess Celestia... Nah, they'll be fine... I hope.
"So what are we doing first?" Doug asked, eager to venture forth into Equestria.
There was a pause. Doug looked to Luna expectantly, like a dog would to a treat held before it.
"Well... What would thou like to do?"
"Get out of this dungeon for starters." Kevin said. He said it with the smallest hint of sarcasm in his voice.
"Yes! Thou will need a place to stay, somewhere far better than this grotesque dungeon." Luna looked off toward the wall for a moment thinking. She didn't know where she would house the humans. Then it hit her.
"We have had a glorious idea!"
"Great. What is it?"
"You can sleep in the Ambassador Apartments! They are well furnished, and not too far away from our chambers!"
"...what?"
Luna laughed. "We art just messing with you! One thing we learned from scrying on Earth for a thousand years is that humans love to play pranks!"
Doug thought about what he had just heard. He knew what scrying was, and it involved incantations and pools of liquid that would peer into other parts of the world... At least that's what he knew from watching movies and playing video games. Kevin had no idea what scrying was, so he didn't ask and passed it off as magic stuff. Which it was.
"Luna?" Doug finally worked up the nerve to ask.
"Yes, my little human?"
"...Have you been spying on us back on Earth?"
Luna looked at Doug and smiled deviously. "Maaaaaybe... Maaaaaaaybe not."
"Kevin, you know what this means?"
"That Luna has been somehow spying on us?"
"Yes, and do you know how?"
"She's been doing it through 'scrying.' Whatever that is."
"Okay. Glad your'e following this conversation."
"I'm not stupid, ya know."
"Right, right. Just checking." Doug smirked.
"We find it amusing that one from a world where there is no magic can know so much about it."
"Well, I aim to please."
"Not to disrupt this moment or anything, but when can we get to our rooms? I rather not hang around in this dungeon any longer- your majesty." Kevin quickly added.
"Thou art quite right Kevin, we should go and set up rooms for the two of you. As well as more... formal wear, perhaps?"
"Sounds good to me." Kevin said.
Doug agreed, and the trio made their way out of the dungeon. They received some strange looks from the guards around the dungeon, but no pony dared say anything. Doug and Kevin did take note of them being seen. Luna paid no attention to the strange looks.
"Hey, Doug," Kevin whispered, "why do ya think they're starin' at us?"
"'Cuz we are from a different dimension, and we only exist in legend." Doug deadpanned. he really didn't want to talk about the strange looks. He was a little self-conscious about being seen as weird.
"WAIT!" Luna shouted. doug and Kevin jumped back not expecting the sudden outburst. "Why didn't we think of it before, we could just teleport us to the rooms!" Luna beamed at the thought of her own brilliance.
"Wait, Luna, I don't know if tha-" Doug was trying to stop her from using magic on him and Kevin. Coming from a world without magic, he feared that they may be horribly injured from the exposure to raw magic. He thought of it as being exposed to high levels of radiation-without a HAZMAT suit.
In a flash they were gone. Doug and Kevin had shut their eyes. They both opened their eyes slowly. They found they were (thankfully) in one piece and in a small apartment.
"...This is not at all how we remember the Ambassador Apartments"
Author's Note
I can't tell you guys how long I have been working on this! I mean it's taken me forever!
What's in that head of yours?
One Trip We Didn't Plan
"...This is not at all how we remember the ambassador apartments. We apologize but-" Luna looked to Doug and Kevin. They were unconscious on the floor. Kevin was twitching and Doug was drooling. "EEEEEK! GUARDS! Come quick!" Luna screamed. She didn't want to lose the only two humans in Equestria. They could be dying for all she knew.
A pair of solar guards rushed from around the corner. "What is it princess? Are you hurt?"
"Neigh! But they might be," she pointed a hoof at Doug's and Kevin's unconscious bodies. "Fetch us a doctor! And hurry!"
The two guards saluted and ran off. Luna looked back at Doug and Kevin. Maybe they are still alive... Now how do I check? She stared quizzically at the two bodies. "AHA! Lets just see if they're dreaming." She sat down and began to cast her spell. Wait- would they want me looking into their minds? She stared at the bodies again. "Feather it! We're going in." Luna closed her eyes and cast her spell. She drifted into the realm of dreams. Let us check Doug first. Not to interfere in the dream, just to make sure he's alive... and to see what he dreams about. She reasoned with herself before being overtaken by sleep.
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"Damn it!" Doug kicked the door to his cell. "We're never getting outta here!"
"Cool it Doug. Ron-boy's on the way." Kevin replied. He sounded calm and relaxed.
"That's who you found to go open up our cells? Ronny!?"
"Yeah. Ya got a problem with that?"
"Me? No. Noooo."
They were sitting on cots in opposite cells from each other.
"I hope he remembers we're in the Broadway block."
"He'll be here in a sec just hold-" All the cells in the Broadway prison block started to open. There door screeched.
"Did somebody doubt meh?" Ronny came walking down a flight of stairs at the end of the hall. His pockets were loaded with something.
"Hey! Ron-ay! Ya did it! Now just to escape the unescapable island."
"Yeah. Getting offa Alcatraz won't be a cakewalk."
"Ya. Thats why I grabbed these from the warden's office." Ronny pulled out four M1911's from his pockets.
"And that's why you're my favorite mexican!"
"...I'm not mexican..."
"Details, details..."
"You boys done yammering? I wanna get off this rock!" A girl stepped out of a cell further down the block. The guys didn't know there was anyone else here besides them. And she looked good too.
"Daaaaaaaaaamn." The three guys said together.
"Aww. Thanks. You flatter me."
"Here come get a gun. Say whats your name?"
The new girl walked over. "Call me Lulu." She took a gun. "Mag pwease?"
"S-sure..."
Ronny proceeded to pass out the guns and ammo to Doug and Kevin. No sooner had they loaded their weapons, a moaning was heard from down the hall. Everyone looked. It was just a guard.
"Who wants first shot?" Kevin asked.
"Wait a minute... His eyes are red. Anyone else notice that? and his skin... He looks like its decayed or something."
"Don't care." Lulu aimed her weapon and fired. The bullet hit the guard right in the shoulder. He barely flinched.
Out of the opened cells of Broadway block came prisoners. Prisoners who hadn't been there before. They had the same red eyes and weathered skin as the guard.
"Ummm guys..." Ronny started to say.
"Yeah I know."
"Zombies." Kevin and Doug said together. One prisoner shrieked. All the zombies in the block started to run. Right for the only prisoners who were still alive.
"RUN!" Doug shouted.
"Headshots only! Make'm count!" Kevin yelled back.
Lulu ran with Doug toward a stairwell. Ronny and Kevin Both aimed and fired at the oncoming onslaught... Until they both ran out of ammunition.
"Ron, ya got an extra mag?"
"I told you I only brought two per gun!"
"Damn it! Bring more ammo next time!"
Kevin turned around to see Doug running up the stairwell with Lulu.
"Hey, Doug, wait up!"
"Kevin where you goi-AHH!" Was all Ronny could get out before zombies mauled him. It was too gruesome to go into detail.
Famous last words... Kevin thought before he followed Doug and Lulu up the stairs.
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Luna watched from above as a friend of Doug's was eaten. She knew Ronny wasn't real, but couldn't help but feel sorry for the dream character. Luna floated through the walls of the imaginary prison, following Doug. She watched as the remaining trio came to a locked office.
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"Kevin, think you can kick down Warden's door?" Doug asked as they neared the Warden's Office. The zombies they had not shot were feasting on what remained of Ronny.
"Move over." Kevin charged the door and slammed into it. The door didn't budge. "YEEEEOOOOOW!"
"Shhhh! Shut up! You want them to hear you?" Lulu asked. "Move over, let me show you how a lady gets things done." She pointed her 1911 at the lock of the door and fired. PUCHNNN-PUCHNNN-PUCHNNN. She pushed open the door. "See? No problem at all."
Kevin and Doug looked at each other. "I thought that only worked in movies." Doug said.
"Apparently not."
"You boys coming or what?"
"Y-yeah!" Both of them said together. They walked into the office, inside was a desk, some pictures, a window overlooking the prison yard, and a gun cabinet with glass doors.
"Wasn't Ronny in here earlier?" Doug asked eyeing the safe.
"Yeah."
"Why didn't he raid the safe?"
"Ya know, I have no idea."
"Wait... If Ronny was here earlier... who locked the door?"
"Ummm...."
"Boys, I think we have company!" Lulu said, closing the door. Everyone looked through the window of the door. A large zombie in armor was walking down the hall towards the office.
"Shit."
"I'm going to try and get that safe open now." Doug proceeded to bang the butt of his gun against the glass.
"You boys are all the same, move over." Lulu walked right up to the safe and fired two shots into the glass, effectively breaking it.
"Thanks Lulu."
"Don't mention it handsome." She leaned over and kissed Doug. Doug blushed.
"No fair! Why do you get the girl?" Kevin whined.
"Cuz she likes me, that's why. Now lets load up, I don't want to fight Warden with pistols."
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Luna's curiosity was peaked. What was a pistol? A gun? She assumed they were the weapons in the humans' hands, but how did they work? She decided she would have to ask them later. The humans pulled out more guns from the safe. Luna heard the words 'rifle' and 'shotgun' as the guns were passed to different people.
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"Kevin you loaded that M14 yet?"
Kevin chambered a round. Schk-Ck "Yeah, you?"
"Loaded my shells an hour ago, Lulu, what about you?"
"Ready!" No sooner had she said ready than the door was kicked in. In the open portal stood the Warden. Standing seven feet tall, and wearing body armor, he did not look like the average zombie. On top of that, he looked pissed.
"FIRE!" Kevin called out. He raised the rifle he was given and shot the Warden in the face. He looked unfazed. Doug unload his shotgun in the Warden's face while Lulu fired her and Doug's 1911's. The four guns had devastating effect on the Warden's face, but he did not go down. He walked into the room.
Chck-Chck-*click* Chck-Chck-*click* "Uh oh, I'm out." Doug barely had time to raise his shotgun in front of his face before the Warden pimp-slapped him out the window.
"Nooooo!" Kevin and Lulu cried out. Luna expected the dream to end, seeing its dreamer just got slapped out a window. Lulu and Kevin's magazines emptied out shortly after. They met fates similar to Doug's. It wasn't until Kevin hit the ground did the dream world start to fade.
Luna was perplexed by this, surely when the dreamer of a dream dies in his/her dream they wake up, right? And since she entered Doug's dream, shouldn't the dream have ended when Doug fell?
Author's Note
This is all a dream sequence...Mob of the Dead Cinematic Trailer dragondarkfire suggested Alcatraz. I thought it would work well so, here it is!
Let me know what you think, and constructive criticism is always appreciated!
One Trip We Didn't Plan
Chapter 10
"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Doug and Kevin bolted upright. Guards and doctors rushed into the room fearing the worst. Luna awoke from her dream realm and looked at Kevin and Doug confused. Didn't we only go into Dog's dream? And when we did, why did't he wake up when he fell?
"Aye... Aye yae yae, that was some dream." Doug said rubbing the back of his head.
"Tell me about it." Kevin said sarcastically.
"You want me to? Or are you just being sarcastic?"
"Nah, tell me, its not like-" Kevin noticed they were surrounded by guards and doctors. "So the pony thing wasn't a hallucination... Hmph..."
"What pony thing?-" Doug opened his eyes and looked around. "Oh. That pony thing. Well... Seems like we are still in Equestria." Doug said with a playful tone in his voice.
"Yeeeeaaaah... Well... How was the dream? Couldn't have been worse than the second half of mine, or really, my only dream."
"Mine was that we were being chased by zombies in Alcatraz. You?"
Kevin looked at Doug, puzzlement spread throughout his face. "Weird. That's the same ting I dreamed about."
"Huh." Doug looked to Luna still watching Kevin and him with a confused look on her face. Oh, hello Luna. What'd I miss?"
Luna snapped out of her daze of confusion and directed her attention solely to Doug. "You blacked out when we teleported you. We called for doctors but it seems you are alright. You are alright, aren't you?"
Doug and Kevin looked themselves over. They didn't find themselves any different before they teleported. "Nnnnooooppppe. You Kevin?"
"I'm all fine here. A little warm though."
"Now that you say that, me too. Say, Luna," Doug asked, "does teleportation generate heat?"
Luna was caught off guard by the odd question. "Not to our knowledge. You may be hot from the garments you wear."
Doug looked down at the multiple T-shirts and pants he was wearing. Kevin looked himself over. He was only wearing a T-shirt, a sweatshirt, jeans and his boots. Absolutely nothing had been removed from the two scouts except their hats, which they had placed in Doug's bag.
"She might have a point there, Doug." Kevin said taking off his sweatshirt.
"I do believe you're right." Doug started to take off two of his shirts.
All the guard ponies in the room tensed. Luna and the doctors looked on with curiosity. For the doctors, they had never seen humans before. They were awed by the way Doug and Kevin could easily pull their shirts off with their arms, using their fingers to grab the bottom of the shirt.
The guards had tensed themselves for they had never encountered humans and they had no idea what taking their clothes off meant. Were they just hot? Was it a sign of surrender? A sign of disrespect?
"Whew. much better!"
"I'll say. Princess?" Kevin asked. "How about those apartments? I don't mean to be pushy or rush but... yeah."
"No trouble at all, dear Kevin. It is our fault for having teleported you. We apologize. We are not quite sure where the Ambassador Apartments are, to be honest. We have not been here for over a thousand years. We are still readjusting."
One of the guard ponies spoke up. "Princess, the Ambassador Apartments are right down the hall. We are currently looking at the janitor's closet."
Everypony and human looked to the door they were in front of. It was indeed a janitor's closet. Nothing more, nothing less.
"Hmm. It dost seem that way. Please, guard, lead the way to the apartments."
"Yes, princess" A earth pony guard bowed and began to walk down the hall.
Doug and Kevin stood up holding their shirts.
"Well then, I guess we're off?"
"Seems so, lead on Kevin."
Kevin turned to Luna, "Princesses first, m'lady."
"We thank thee." Luna said as she started to walk down the hallway after the earth pony guard. the small crowd that had gathered dispersed as Doug and Kevin followed Luna.
The Princess, guard, and humans reached the relatively new Ambassador Apartments.
The group came to a hallway filled with Red Oak doors.
"Here they are, your highness."
"We thank thee, you may return to your post." After hearing this, the guard quickly saluted and trotted back down the way the group came.
"So these are the new apartments we promised." Kevin said.
"Apparently." Doug answered. His voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Shall we see them? We have honestly never seen the new apartments."
"Lead on, princess."
Princess Luna walked past the nearest door marked 'AA-401'. Underneath the room number was a nameplate. The nameplate read 'Griffon Ambassador ------' The trio walked to the first room without a nameplate. 'AA-413' It read.
"Lovely, we get good ol' number thirteen." Kevin muttered. Luna and Doug heard him but chose not to say anything.
Inside was a bedroom with a dresser, a queen-sized bed, a nightstand, a walk-in closet, and a bathroom. The bed was pushed up against the right wall with the bathroom and closet through the left wall. The dresser was directly to the left of the doorway against the closest wall. The nightstand was next to the left side of the bed against the furthest wall, next to a door that led onto a railed balcony.
The trio stood in the doorway looking in.
"...This is how we treat Equestria's guests? With small bedrooms?"
"This is awesome!... Is it wrong for me to call dibs on a room?"
Luna and Kevin looked at Doug. "What? I asked first."
"Sure, you can have unlucky thirteen."
"What are these... dibs you speak of? We have never heard of such things? And why does thou call them on a room?"
"Crap. This'll take a while," Doug muttered under his breath. "How do I say this... Dibs is something you can call to make sure you have it in the future."
Luna looked at Doug quizzically.
"It means 'rights' as defined by Merriam Webster." Kevin spoke up. He had a smug smile on his face. He felt good that he could still remember the definitions he was asked to learn for a school competition. Luna looked at Kevin confused.
"Who?"
"Just an English dictionary."
Luna nodded her head in understanding. Luna looked around the room again. "We see no qualms with allowing you to stay in this room Doug. As long as you can teach us more about your culture."
"Why of course! What kind of person would I be if I didn't rave on about how great our species is to an alien."
"You are visiting our world. You are the alien." Luna smirked.
"She's got a point, Doug."
"Well ya got me there." Doug said shrugging.
"I assume that I'll be staying in another room for the same price?"
"If by 'price' you mean informing us about yourself and your species, then yes."
"Sounds good to me."
"Do we need a contract or anything?" Kevin and Luna looked at Doug. "Or sign a ledger? or sign in at all?"
Luna waved her hoof in dismissal. "We shall have one of the servants fill that out. We will send one by later for details on your stay."
"Okay... So where do I sleep?" Kevin asked. He wanted to see where he was going to be sleeping.
"Right across the hall."
The trio walked across the hall to Kevin's room. It read 'AA-414'.
"Guess this one's mine." Kevin said as he opened the door.
Inside the room, it was exactly the same as room AA-413, but it had no balcony. In its place was a large mirror.
"Alright. Almost the same as Doug's... I can do it."
"That's good. Now we must get our rest, for we have not slept all day."
"Aren't you a god or something?"
"No," Luna shook her head, "alicorns are not gods."
"And there goes another fandom theory..." Doug said. Kevin and Luna gave him no attention.
"We honestly do not wish to go into detail on this subject..." Luna trailed off. Pain could be heard in her voice.
"Fair enough." Kevin said with the best poker face he could put on. If Celestia and Luna aren't gods, what are they? He thought to himself.
"Farewell, Doug and Kevin, we shall see thee later this night. Then you may begin to elaborate on thineselves and thy culture." Luna turned and started walking down the hallway. Kevin and Doug stared after her.
"I don't know about you, but I think I gonna like it here." Doug said as he turned to Kevin. "Sure we can't stay forever, but we'll certainly enjoy it."
"Yeah."
"Well g'night!"
"You're going to bed?"
"Well duh. We're going to stay up all night with Luna. We-I need my sleep."
"Alright... See ya later."
"Bye." Doug walked back to his room and shut the door. "Now lets put these shirts in my-" Doug realized he didn't have his bag. "Well that sucks... I'll just put it in the dresser." He turned and put his excess shirts in the dresser. "Now just to get undressed and go to sleep. And stop talking to myself." Doug took off his boots, socks, last T-shirt, pants, pajama pants and laid on top of the bed. Feels like a cloud He thought to himself before he dozed off into a dreamless slumber.
Kevin sat in his room, thinking.Why do these ponies want to help us? If we were back home the government would have aliens moved off to a secret facility and dissected. These ponies seem so... friendly... and trusting. Ah well. May as well go to sleep. Kevin laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. Feels like a cloud... Wonder how they did that. Never felt anything like this back on Earth. he yawned. Definitely gonna sleep now. He drifted to sleep.
Author's Note
Well... First chapter of the summer! Finally I get to write more. I've got some ideas I think you readers might like. Hopefully I can write them well...
But any who, hope you like the chapter.
One Trip We Didn't Plan
"Ah, it's good to be back." Night Air said as he stepped off his train and into Canterlot Station. Celestia's sun was beginning to set, and Luna's moon was waiting to be raised by its alicorn princess. Now just to get home and sleep. He thought to himself, then he saw her. The mint green obsessor, Lyra Heartstrings. Night Air's once marefriend was eyeballing him. He could see curiosity crawling onto her face. NIght Air panicked. No! No! No! No! She cannot be here! I'm supposed to be dead to her! He took off without hesitating wanting to put as much distance between him and the crazy mint green unicorn. Luckily Lyra never recognized the pegasus as she started walking toward the castle for the upcoming winter ball.
=
*Pmph! Pmph! Pmph!* The sound of somepony knocking came from Kevin's door effectively waking him up. "Uhhhh... Who the hell's knocking?"
"Canterlot Royal Guard!"
"Whataya want?" Kevin hollered through the door as he sat up.
"Princess Luna requests your presence."
"Ugggggh... Alright I'm coming..." Kevin muttered back to the guard as he got out of bed and went to the door. He opened he door and walked out of his room to meet one of the solar guard ponies holding a spear.
"Goodni-aaaah!" The guard jumped when he saw Kevin. The terrified guard stepped back and pointed his spear at Kevin. "What in Celestia's name are you!?"
Kevin looked at the scared guard. He contemplated kicking the spear away from the guard to show he was obviously more powerful. Looks like I can take him... No horn... No wings. Just need to stay away from his legs. Yeah. But intend of kicking the spear away from the guard, he just simply grabbed the spear and pulled it away from the guard.
"Hey what's the big-" Kevin pointed the spear in the guard's face.
"Never point a weapon at me again. Got it?" The guard nodded. Kevin took the spear in both hands and broke it over his knee.
"You wake up Doug yet?"
"N-n-no, sir." The guard stammered. "I was g-going to after I got you."
"Well then get to it."
"Right away, sir." The guard walked up to the door across the hall. He knocked. There was no answer. The guard knocked again. There was still no answer. The guardpony stomped his hoof on the door shouting "Canterlot Royal Guard, OPEN UP!" Still, he got no answer.
"Let me give it a try," Kevin said as the guard backed away from the door. "HEY DOUG! GET YOUR LAZY ASS OUTTA BED! IT'S TIME TO GO!" They could hear Doug stumbling around inside the room. Doug screamed back, "OKAY! I HEARD YOU! There's no need to shout! Be out in five."
"What are you doing in there?"
"Getting dressed."
Kevin and the still terrified guardpony waited outside the door for about a minute. After the minute, Doug walked out of his room in his black hoodie and jeans. Kevin was still wearing jeans and Doug's green USMC sweater.
"You ready?"
"Been waiting on you."
"What's with the sticks?" Doug pointed to the broken spear Kevin was holding.
"Oh this? Mr. Guard here tried pointing it at me when I came out. So, I broke it."
"Really?" Doug asked deadpanning. "You really had to go that far?"
"What?"
"You scared the shit out of him! If you haven't noticed, we are living in their castle. Let me rephrase that. We are living in a castle full of guards !" Kevin could see Doug was ticked off, but he knew Doug wasn't the type of person who would blow up at minor things. As long as the situation could be solved peacefully, Doug would go for it. That doesn't mean he disliked mischief and pranks.
Doug turned to and looked at the terrified guard. He seemed like he was going to faint. "Its okay man. Sit down, you look whiter than usual." Doug noted. The guardpony did seem to be whiter than the other white guards Doug and Kevin had seen around the castle. "C'mon sit down. What's your name? I'd hate to keep calling you guard."
The guard sat on his haunches and leaned on the wall. "Fugientes," He said. "Fugientes Interfector. Sergeant of Princess Celestia's Solar Guard."
"Okay then sergeant, now that you have us out here, what did you want?" Doug asked calmly.
"Princess Luna requested your presence. She said wake the ambassadors in rooms AA-413 and AA-414. She didn't say why, but she did give me this for you two to sign."
"Let's take a look then, shall we?"
Fugientes pulled a scroll and a quill out of the chest piece of his armor. He laid the scroll out on the floor and held the quill in his mouth for Doug or Kevin to take. Before Doug could take the quill though, Kevin spoke up.
"Waaaaait a minute. Let me read this before we go and sign it."
"What do you think I was going to do? Just sign it?"
"Yeah."
"Give me some credit Kev, I'm not an idiot."
"Not a total idiot I'll give you, but you're still an idiot."
"I can live with that."
Kevin looked closer at the contract for their stay in the castle apartments. It read:
From this night of January twentieth, two years after Princess Luna's restoration to my throne,
In return for Canterlot's hospitality,
X_________________________
X_________________________
By royal decree of Princess Luna,
~signed Princess Luna
Kevin and Doug finished reading it. Fugientes stood next to them patiently. Kevin spoke first.
"Looks okay to me. I want to ask Luna about getting back home though."
"Good point. But other than that I think its good."
"Just one more thing though, why do we even need a contract?"
"Formalities or something?"
"I can answer that." Sergeant Fugientes said. "It's mostly for formalities, but it also binds you so that you have to obey Equestrian law. The part about divulging information I haven't seen before, but the rest is pretty standard."
"Works for me. You?" Doug looked to Kevin.
"Ah what the hell. Yeah I'll sign."
Kevin took the quill and signed his name. Doug did the same on the lower line.
"Still I got this feeling..."
"Feelin' of what?"
"I feel that we just made a deal with the devil."
Author's Note
Filler chapter.
One Trip We Didn't Plan
Chapter 12
Doug and Kevin walked with Fugientes toward the other side of the castle. Luna was waiting for them there with questions about earth. The guard led the human duo through the castle until Doug recognized a room from the show he adored. It was the main staircase from the season 1 finale. They were walking down the upper set of stairs when he recognized it. It had seemed a lot bigger than in the show, and now didn't seem nearly as grand. Doug saw pegasi changing banners and earth ponies shining the railing. He also saw the great doors of the castle- the front entrance with the drawbridge just of the other side. "Wow." was the only thing he could say.
"Impressed?" Fugientes asked.
"Yeah! Everything looks great!"
"Meh. I've seen better on TV shows." Doug just glared at Kevin. Aggravation clearly evident. "What?" Kevin said innocently as a trollish smile pursed his lips. Doug muttered something under his breath but no one caught what he said.
"Tee-Vee? What's a Tee-Vee?" The guard asked.
"Don't worry 'bout it, human invention." Doug quipped in before Kevin could say anything. "So what's with the cleaning? Somethi-" Doug stopped mid-sentence. Kevin and Fugientes looked at him.
"is there a gala happening soon?" Doug squeaked.
"Yes, yes there is. The Winter Gala." One of the earth ponies shining the rail chimed in. "Its happening in t-"
"SQUEEHEHE!!" Doug squee'd. Everyone in the room looked at him. Some even peeked their heads around corners to see what the commotion was about. "Er...hm... Ahem. Sorry, just got exited." Doug said apologetically. The ponies who were working returned to the jobs they were previously doing.
"Really?"
"Shut up, I got exited."
"Whatever."
"We should probably get moving, Luna is expecting us." Fugientes stated matter-of-factly.
The trio continued walking along the balcony towards the other side of the castle. They eventually came to a set of large ebony doors with silver stars and swirls carved into it. The doors had to stand at least eight feet tall. Gold rings served as its handles.
"This is where I will take my leave of you." Fugientes said. "Luna's just on the other side of those doors."
"Okay, you ready Doug?"
"As I'll ever be."
Kevin used the one of gold rings as a knocker. There was no answer for a few seconds. Then the door burst open in the loudest vocal expression either of the boys had ever heard.
"WHO DARES KNOCK UPON OUR DOORS!?! DO YE NOT SEE THAT WE HATH RETIRED TO OUR CHAMBERS FOR THE NIGHT!?" Luna yelled. She was using her royal Canterlot voice. Doug and Kevin were knocked onto their posteriors in a very unflattering way. Fugientes stood tall and unwavering. The guard knew the power of Luna's voice and had prepared himself accordingly.
"Oh. It is thou. Come in." Luna turned and walked back into her room. "Well? Arens't thou coming in?"
"Y-yes ma'am!" Doug and Kevin scramble to their feet and quickly hurried inside. Fugientes closed the large ebony doors behind them and started trotting back to the barracks. He never made it there. For in the morning, another body filled his bed, wore his armor, and walked his patrol. Yet, nopony noticed the change.
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"So we take it that thou slept well."
"Yes princess, it was the softest bed I've ever slept on." Doug said, as he and Kevin stood looking around the Luna's room. It appeared to be the most clique princess bedroom they'd ever seen. The large king sized bed that occupied the middle of the room had stars and moons embroidered on the comforter and pillows. There was a light purple canopy stretched along four bedposts that hung over her bed. Behind the bed was a large balcony where one could easily look up at the moon. Looking to the right from the door was a closet and a bathroom, a light from each shone through. To the left of the door was a large fireplace with beanbag chairs and pillows around it. A large rug from under the bed was shaped like a large moon, and stars radiated from it throughout the room. There were a few dressers and mirrors around the room that were ornately decorated around the trim with all sorts of gems.
"Dost thou like it? We designed it ourselves."
"This...this is amazing." Kevin said.
"...words cannot express..." Doug whispered.
"We art glad thou like it. Wouldst thou like a seat? How about some tea?"
Did the princess just offer us tea? She did! She did offer us tea! "Would you excuse me for a moment." Doug said, trying to hold his excitement in.
"Er...yes?"
"Thank you" Doug said with a smile before he turned around. "Squeeheeheehee!!" He turned back around to face a puzzled Kevin and an even more puzzled Luna. "Sorry, result of my fandom. I needed to get that out."
"Riiiiiight... Anyways, Princess-"
"Stop. Please, call us Luna."
"Okay. Luna, where should we start?"
"Take a seat over there and we shall begin our inquisition." Luna motioned over to the beanbag chairs. Doug and Kevin shot each other a look, both could read the other's face 'What have we gotten ourselves into?'
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Night Air relaxed on his cot in the barracks. He had left Ponyville after talking to Sea Breeze and he returned to Canterlot. Ah. Home, sweet, home. He was tired. His next patrol wasn't for another day. Maybe I should go to a party...yeah, yeah that sounds good... Right after a nap. The barracks not busy as much of the Solar Guards were out and about doing whatever tasks they were appointed to do. "Hey Night! Wake up!"
Night Air sat up from his cot. horseapples, right before I went to sleep to... It was Shining Armor, the captain of the entire Solar guard."Yes, Captain Armor?"
"I want you to be one of the guards at the Winter Gala."
"Aye sir."
"I'm hoof-picking ponies for this. After the inncedent with my wedding I'm getting who I think is the best for this. You up for it?"
"Yes sir."
"Good. You know when it is, just meet me in my office an hour before it starts."
"Aye sir."
With that, Shining Armor wished Night Air a good day and trotted off.
Horseapples. First humans now have to deal with nobles in two days? Buck my life.
Author's Note
This took me WAY too long to get out.
As always, post a comment below on what you like, didn't like, or just constructive criticism.
One Trip We Didn't Plan
Chapter 13
Doug and Kevin walked over to the bean bag chairs, unsure of what Luna was going to do. The Alicorn of the night walked back to her door and called for a maid. Doug and Kevin sat in silence. They tried to listen to Luna, but did not hear the exact words. They significant words they were able o make out were tea , sugar , and chess . Luna walked back to the boys.
"Well then, shall we get started?"
"By all means." Kevin said.
Luna took a seat on a pillow across from the boys. "Before we begin asking you questions about your world, do you have any questions about mine?"
"Yeah, actually, I do." Kevin huffed. "How do you know we even exist? Or even have a world?"
"We told you we used a scrying spell."
"How did you know we were there to begin with?"
"The legends, I assure you."
"No, I mean us . As in, me and Doug here. Where did you find us?"
"Oh... That..." Luna paused, thinking how she should word what she was about to say. "Dost thou know of the story of my banishment to the moon?"
"Yes."
"No."
"Then we shall start there. A thousand years ago..."
"Your sister over shadowed you and you became jealous. You proceeded to attempt to throw Equestria into eternal night when your sister used magical artifacts, known as the Elements of Harmony, to banish you to the moon for a thousand years." Doug smirked at his knowledge of pony lore. "You came back as the prophecy foretold and the new bearers of the Elements were revealed. Applejack, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy. That's all right, right?"
"Yes it tis, young man."
Luna sat looking at Doug with a saddened expression on her cobalt face. Kevin was figuratively blown away by Doug's knowledge.
"Thou apparently art a 'brony' from thy world. Thou have obviously studied our history. More particularly, my biggest mistake."
"Luna, its not your fault- not entirely at least. Your sister overshadowed you and you wanted to be recognized for your work. I... understand."
"THOU COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND!!" Luna screamed at Doug. Her outburst sent both boys onto their backs. Luna started to cry. "I-...I... you don't realize what I did..."
The boys sat back up and remained silent while Luna sobbed to herself.
Dammit! I made her cry! Shit! Shit! Shit! Ummmm... Think Doug think! Doug thought to himself. Kevin spoke up.
"I'm not a hundred percent sure of all the details, but, princess, you need to stop dwelling on the past. Let go. What's done is done, and you can't change that. But what you can change is your future."
Luna and the boys sat in silence. She stopped sobbing. The air in the room was tense after Luna's outburst. No one knew what to say. Then the maid Luna sent out earlier returned with tea and a box which she set on Luna's dresser.
"Will that be all, princess?"
"Yes. We thank thee. You may go now."
"Thank you."
"Thanks a bunch!"
The maid walked out the door unphased by the two inter-dimensional beings meeting with her ruler.
"Ah. The tea is here." Luna said as she poured herself a cup. "Feel free to have some, ambassadors."
The two humans poured themselves a cup of tea each after Luna was done. Doug was the only one in the room who added sugar. The three sat around for a few more minutes until Doug asked a question that had been on his mind.
"So Luna, why ummm... Why'd you call for a chess set?"
"How, by our sister's beard, dost thou know about that?"
"We partly overheard you talking with the maid earlier. I'm guessing you play?"
"We do. Would you care for a game? It might, how do they say it nowadays, break the ice."
"I'm not great, but Kev here was a state champion!"
"I was runner-up, Doug. An' that happened in fourth grade, it's been years since I've played." Kevin protested.
"Let us play a round then!" Luna started to float the chess board over, setting it up while still in the air. "Thou should know, we have not lost a game yet!...unless it was to our sister."
"Well beating me should be easy then. White or black?"
"We shall choose... Black!"
"This is gonna be good." Doug said as he leaned back in his beanbag chair.
"You're next." Luna said looking directly at Doug. He could only gulp and watch as the game played out before him.
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"AHA! Checkmate! We win!" Kevin was not surprised at his loss. He was facing a questionably immortal being with great knowledge of the multiverse, how could he win?
"Alright," Doug sighed, "guess I'm up." He switched places with Kevin as Luna reset the board with her magic.
"This will be most fun!"
"Hopefully I can break that streak of yours. I'll take black, if you don't mind."
"We don't mind at all."
It was a very quick match.
"Well... you got me."
"AHA! The fun has been doubled!" As Luna said that, Doug smiled. He loved that phrase.
"Princess, care for a rematch?" Kevin asked.
"Why certainly, if thou wantest to be bested again. So be it."
"I think I might win this time."
"Thou will try."
"White please."
"I hate to interrupt, Luna, but didn't you want to ask us questions about Earth? You certainly didn't just call us here to play chess." Doug butted in after Kevin made his first move, king's pawn to E4. His standard opening move.
"Ah, yes. I wanted to know how you knew about us. In particular, where you had gotten those pictures."
"Oh. Well... I should probably start by telling you that you don't exist in our world."
Luna remained silent. She mindlessly moved a pawn, clearly contemplating what Doug had just said.
"I know Equestria from a TV show called My Little Pony: Firendship is Magic. Its... entertainment that follows Twilight and her friends throughout Equestria."
Kevin muttered something under his breath and moved his king side bishop to C4. Luna remained silent. She mindlessly moved a knight. It was very clear she was not thinking about the game at her hooves.
"The pictures came from fans of the show, like myself, who draw. Someone drew Twilight and your sister because they thought it would be funny."
Kevin decided to do something risky, he moved his only queen to F3.
"That's how I know about your fall, your banishment, your return, and your redemption." Luna's ears fell. "I've also watched as Discord returned, Queen Chrysilis's attack, and King Sombra's return. I know a good bit of your universe, Luna. I hope this is same universe as the show. I shudder to think what kind of alternate universes I could be in."
"Well then... Now that thou hast explained to me how thou know me, it is time I told thee how I know of your world." Luna said. "We know of thee by scrying on thee. But that has been said. We hath been watching Kevin from a very young age."
Kevin's eyes widened at the statement. Doug folded his hands and laid his chin on his thumbs.
"We watched you go from place to place seeing how human life worked. We could infer the building thou went into, as well as thy age. We knew thou would like to play pranks from the way others reacted. We knew who your friends and acquaintances are, your enemies too. When we returned from the moon and was saved from the nightmare... we... we decided to bring thee here on a whim. to finally meet the human we watched for so long." She paused waiting for a question.
"You were on the moon for a thousand years right? I'm only sixteen. How could you have been following me for over a thousand years?"
"And not that I'm complaining, but why'd I come as well?" Doug quickly added.
"Ah yes. the multiverse works in strange ways. Thou were not the only one we watched, no. we watched hundreds of universes. As for you Doug, you were with Kevin when I decided to brig him here. I needed him alone and thou were the only one with him. We figured one more couldn't hurt."
"So, you're saying I'm just collateral?"
"If thou wishes to think of it that way. Yes." Luna developed a knight to C6. Doug slumped in his chair disappointed.
"You can send us home right?" Kevin asked.
"Thou want to leave already?"
"Princess, I mean so offense; but we have a family to go back home to. They probably think we're dead. Eaten by some animal."
"We see." Luna stared into the fireplace for some time. Kevin held off his final lightning-mate move until Luna finished what she was saying.
"Sending you home will take some time. But it can be done."
"Great to hear. Oh, and checkmate." Kevin smiled as he moved his queen to F7 capturing a pawn and checking Luna's king.
Luna only sighed. "Yes... I guess it is good to hear..." She wasn't paying attention at all.
Nightmares are on the horizon...
One Trip We Didn't Plan
Chapter 14
It was late, the moon had already begun its descent in the sky. There would only be a few more hours of night left. In the heart of Luna's magnificent night, shadowy figures scampered on the cliff overlooking Canterlot. They could see the Ambassador's Wing of the castle. They tittered and exchanged several clicks before one pointed toward their destination. It pulled out a piece of paper with two humans on it. The figure turned it over to show its five companions what was on the back.
Humans
The figures nodded before taking flight toward their destination.
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"Goodnight, Luna." The two human boys had finished their tea with Luna and getting ready to return to their rooms for the night. They had talked much of human politics and how America's government was run.
"Thanks for the tea, Princess!"
"Goodnight, boys. We hope thee sleep well tonight." Luna said as she saw the two human teenagers to her ebony doors.
Kevin thought for a second, forgetting he still had Fugientes Interfactor's broken spear with him. "This? This came from the guard you sent to get us. He pointed it at me, so I broke it. Kinda flimsy if you ask me."
Luna sighed. "We knew our sister doing away with actual spears in favor for decorative ceremonial ones was a mistake."
"Woah, hold up." Doug interjected. "You're saying the Royal Guard doesn't have any real spears? Just ceremonial wooden ones?"
"Yes."
"That's comforting." Kevin muttered. The two young ambassadors walked back through the castle toward their rooms. They walked back in silence too tired to say anything. It was either very late into the night, or very early in the morning depending upon how one looks at it.
They arrived at their rooms and said goodnight when something occurred to Kevin.
"...Doug, we don't have keys."
Doug looked at the doorknob. "You know, I think you're right. But..." Doug looked closer at the doors. "...there's no keyholes on these doors."
"Now what?"
"We didn't lock it soooo..." Doug turned the doorknob and opened the door. "...it should open right up."
"Right. Well, goodnight."
"G'night."
Kevin and Doug went into their respective rooms and locked their doors.
Kevin took off his boots and jumped into the bed. He quickly fell asleep and began to dream. Doug did not fall asleep nearly as fast after he took off his boots and sat in bed. He stared at the ceiling of the room for a long time before moving to the balcony to gaze at the moon.
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Kevin was dreaming about home. He had just arrived back at his house from a long trip and was stepping out of a truck.
"Ah. It's great to be home." He said as he started walking. Inside his house there was food waiting for him. His mother's cooking. "Good to see you home dear." His mom said. As Kevin sat down, something was amiss. He didn't see his fat5her anywhere. "Oh, your father's outside fixing the lights again. Don't worry about it." Just as Kevin was about to respond,
His family, his home, his metaphorical 'rock' in life, was burned before his eyes. Kevin blinked. He didn't know what to think. His former home was now burning, and he was scared. The one memory he held onto that kept him sane in a world full of Technicolor ponies, gone.
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Doug's dream fared no better maybe even worse. For what started out as him looking out over Canterlot on a cliff, turned into violent bloodshed and burning below him. He did not notice the four cloaked figures walk up behind him, for it was only when one spoke did he realize they were there.
"You caused this you know." Doug turned around startled by the appearance of the four figures. They were cloaked so only their faces showed, or in some cases, what was left of them. "The death of so many ponies is on your shoulders." The one speaking was a skeleton robed in black. Next to him stood a man armored with a Greek chest piece. It reminded Doug of the Spartans from the movie 300. To the warrior's left, stood the remaining figures. One's face was wrapped so that only his eyes were exposed. The other in tattered rags and a tattered cloak. He looked malnourished- unhealthily thin. Doug wondered who these people were.
"You are wondering what we are, aren't you?" The one whose face Doug couldn't see.
"You should know us. We've ravaged your world for a long time now."
"Who? Who are-" Doug stuttered.
"Come now, you should recognize me of all people." The skeleton spoke as flesh began to form around its bony face. The skin darned to an unearthly ash gray, and eyes red a blood rolled into their sockets. "Maybe you know me better in this form, no?" Doug knew who it was. It was a character concept he designed to embody death for a game.
"Yes its me. And by association, you should know the others."
"Th- The f-f-four horsemen." Doug said in fear. He knew they were fore told in Medieval times to bring about the apocalypse, but he had always passed them off as legends.
"Legends? Pfft. Tell me, how long has there been wars raging on Earth?" The warrior said. Doug knew their names. He didn't want to admit they were right in front of him. "Do we look like legends to you?"
"Yes, War. I have come sweeping up after you for a long time now." Death spoke.
"Don't forget that I helped start your wars." The malnourished famine said.
"Time's up. We need to go. Bugs will be upon him soon." The fourth, Pestilence, interjected. "There will be a conflict before you, young one. And none of the choices you will be faced with will be pleasant. Then the dream ended. Doug screamed.
Author's Note
A chapter I have been putting off for far too long now.
Comment and tell me what I did that could be better.
One trip We Didn't Plan
Chapter 15
Kevin awoke in a sweat. His nightmare of the destruction of home scared him. He never wanted to see anything akin to the horror of losing what he held most dear to him. His family. He sat up in his soft bed and rubbed his eyes. No way in hell am I getting back to sleep now. He thought.
Kevin looked at the clock on his dresser. It was only an hour later than when he had fallen asleep. 5:28? You have got to be kidding me! Then he heard it. It was faint but still there. Thumping. And it was coming from outside his door. What the hell?... he walked up to the door and opened it. The thumping was coming from Doug's room across the hall. What if?... Nah. Doug wouldn't bang a horse... Would he? He approached the door, fearing whatever his friend was doing in that room. If he is, may as well crash it. He barged in and couldn't believe what he was seeing.
Doug was in his bed swatting at, what looked like, three pony sized black bugs with fangs. Doug was plastered to the bed with some sort of ooze but he had an arm and a leg free and was swatting at the would-be bug assailants.
"Kevin! Kill these fu-!" A bug jumped up onto Doug and spit more of the sickening green ooze over his mouth before he could finish what he was saying. Kevin got the idea though. He kicked one bug who had turned to look at him right bewteen the eyes; and it dropped to the ground, unconscious. The other two looked to Kevin and one hissed at the other. The one on the floor jumped at Kevin. He quickly grabbed its outstretched arms, spun it, and threw it out the door.
The third bug jumped off of Doug onto the floor and reared up on its hind legs. Green fire enveloped it as the beast stood up. After the flash Kevin was staring at a replica of himself. The only difference was the eyes. Instead of his brow eyes, the doppleganger had green snake-like eyes. The beast of himself lunged at Kevin who grabbed its shoulders. The beast grappled back. The monster stood no chance against the former wrestler as it was rammed into the wall and pinned to the floor.
Doug watched in horror as his friend wrestled the monster. Then he heard a voice. He couldn't tell if Kevin noticed it or not due to wrestling with himself, but it sounded sweet and caring.
Hello my little human. I was hoping we could talk tonight about some things. It was Celestia. Doug immediately started thinking. Da hell does she want at a time like this?
I hope I'm not interrupting any of your dreams. She sounded a cross at the young human's previous statement.
Oh no, Just a changeling battle in my room! You fuck-tard!
Oh my! Well then I'll just- wait. Did you say changeling? Please forgive me for what I'm about to do. Doug suddenly felt searing pain in his eyes and his entire world went white. He felt like he was staring directly into the sun.
"I'm on my way with guards now." Was the last thing he heard from Celestia before the suddenly blinding white world he had seen turned to pure darkness.
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By the time Celestia arrived Kevin had already killed changeling that had disguised itself as him. The three Night guards that the princess brought with her showed mixed expressions ranging from impressed, to fear, and even anger. Luna was not far behind.
"Yeah. I had ta snap its neck. It just wouldn't stop fighting." Kevin shakily explained to one of the guards that came with the princess. "I didn't want to do it, but... I had to." Two other guards had taken the unconscious changeling to the dungeon for questioning. The third one had disappeared.
Doug was staring at the ceiling, his vision had not yet returned. Celestia and Luna were standing over him worried.
"Sister, what did thou do'eth to him now?" Luna asked.
"I told you, all I did was talk to him though his mind and see through his eyes."
"That's what you did? No wonder I'm fucking blind!" Doug said sarcastically to everyone's surprise. After removing the green gelatin from him he hadn't said a word. He had just laid there, eyes open, unmoving.
"Hold thy tongue, ambassador!"
"Luna, sister, think this can be overlooked. I think his anger is justified."
Doug was furious and scared. He didn't know what to do other than lay in that accursedly comfy bed. Is this how I'll live the rest of my life? In a world that I love, but unable to see? He started thinking quietly to himself. His thoughts were heard though.
"Not if we don't have anything to do about it!" Luna's voice sounded in the room. She dipped her head to his eyes and a light blue mist descended from her horn over his eyes. Everyone in the room silently watched as Luna worked her mysterious magic on the blind human.
Doug's vision of pure darkness was replaced with milk white, not at all like the blinding light he had seen before. He then blinked, but what he saw was not what he expected. It took him a second, but he realized he was looking though Luna's eyes!
"There. And that is how you aid human eyes, dear sister." Luna said.
Ah sibling rivalry, never gets old.
Art thou calling us old? He could still hear Luna still in his head.
You are over a thousand years old...
Then you are a baby to us.
Touche, princess. Touche.
Doug blinked again and his vision began to return to the milky white haze. Creamy white began to fill with color as his room took shape. He sat up and looked around. To his right were the princesses and at his feet were Kevin and the guard he had been talking to.
"Well that was interesting. Who wants breakfast?" Kevin asked.
Author's Note
Well this should have been out sooner...
Constructive criticism is always welcome.
One Trip We Didn't Plan
Chapter 16
Celestia, Luna, the humans, and the guards made their way to the dining room usually reserved for the royal sisters. The sisters had insisted on eating there because they thought it best to surprise as few ponies as possible with the two, albeit very tired, humans. Celestia sat at the head of the elaborately decorated oak table with Luna at her right. Kevin sat next to Celestia and Doug to his right. The three night guards that accompanied Luna filled in the rest of the table. Everyone was quiet, some for different reasons than others. A groggy waiter came around to ask the princesses what they wanted, they directed him to the humans sitting beside them. He seemed unfazed by the two humans unlike most of the other ponies they had met.
"So, what can we get you ambassadors?" The waiter asked.
"Uh, I dunno. Whataya got?" Kevin asked.
"Just about anything you can think of." The waiter deadpanned.
"Um... Doug?"
"Oh for crying out- we'll just get some pancakes."
"Yeah. that sounds good."
"That sounds good for us as well." Luna answered.
"I agree." Celestia stated as she looked to her guards and they all nodded. "Pancakes for the guards as well, please."
"Any drinks while you wait?"
Everyone ordered coffee except Doug, who ordered orange juice. The waiter nodded and walked off. The assembled party sat in silence until Doug apologized.
"Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, I wanna say I'm sorry for what I said, er, thought earlier. It was just that-"
The older princess held up a hoof. "Don't be sorry. It was your mind, and you are entitled to your own thoughts."
"And if we did not see those thoughts thou may have been severely hurt. Thou art sure you're okay?"
Doug held up his right hand wiggled his fingers. "I still got 'em. I'm fine, thanks. Just a little... shaken up."
Celestia looked at her sister. Luna knew what she was thinking, and it wasn't pleasant. Doug turned to the night guard sitting next to him.
"Do they always do that?"
"Yeah. I always feel like I'm only hearing half of their conversations." The golden armored guard said. "You get used to it after a while."
The waiter came back with everyone's drinks and everyone sipped thoughtfully, trying to think of what to say without bring up what had just transpired.
"Well, I do believe there is an elephant in the room." Kevin said bluntly.
"An elephant? Where? We see no elephant." The night princess asked.
"Luna, it's a figure of speech that we use on Earth when there's something that's on everyone's mind but doesn't want to talk about." Doug explained.
"Oh. Well then carry on."
"Those...things...that attacked Doug, they knew we were here. I'm no expert, but I don't think they're supposed to be here."
"They sure aren't." Doug commented. "Those changelings were supposed to be defeated a few episodes ago. They're not supposed to be here."
"Excuse me, but, episodes?" One of the golden armored guards asked.
"I'll explain later. All you need to know is that I'm familiar with your history. Now, they knew we were here, and they want us. Whether it was intended as a kidnapping or an assassination I don't know, but what I'm pretty sure of is that someone in this castle isn't who they say they are."
Everyone but Celestia and Luna was taken aback by this new theory.
"We feared as such."
"That's what we thought as well." Celestia muttered.
"So how do we get rid of them?" Kevin asked.
"We-" Doug started as the waiter came into the room.
The waiter began serving the pancakes to everyone. Doug seemed unnerved and eyed the waiter until after he left.
"...Does anyone know how to check for poison?"
"Doug, this isn't Dungeons and Dragons. The food's not going to be poisoned."
"After being attacked in the middle of the night, I'm not taking any chances."
Kevin rolled his eyes. The one unicorn guard at the table quickly scanned his own food when he thought nobody was looking. He proceeded to check everyone's food and deemed everything safe to eat. Celestia looked to her sister and thought.
He's a paranoid one isn't he?
A tad, but his fears are justified. We know he's not as calm as he looks.
I'm going to talk to them later.
We'll come too.
Sister, you need your rest. I'll take care of this.
Luna remained silent.
"I think it's time we presented the award." Celestia said.
Everyone looked to Celestia, surprised. Even Luna didn't expect what she had said.
"I don't have it with me now, but I would like to present Kevin with a medal."
Kevin gaped, Doug was shocked, and the guards were dumbfounded. Luna caught on to what her sister was getting at and smiled.
"For protecting Canterlot and your fellow pony- excuse me, man from Changeling attack; I hereby present the Equestrian Defender award to you, Kevin."
Everybody other than the royal sisters sat dumbfounded, mouths agape. Kevin looked around and sighed.
"All I can say is thank you... Your highness."
Doug couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Yes, Kevin deserved it but he still wanted one for himself. An internal debate started deep within his mind.
You're kidding me? You're joking right? I'm the brony here! I should be getting a award! A purple heart or something! Oh no, it's not enough for Luna to say that I was just 'collateral,' now they're awarding him a medal!?
No, calm down, Doug. There's no need for these thoughts. They'll poison your mind.
Luna looked at Doug and her eyes went wide.
"Nay! Child, come with us at once!"
"Huh-?"
"NOW!"
Luna levitated Doug from his seat and started trotting out the room.
"Hey! What gives?"
"Thine eyes."
Doug looked at everyone still at the table and they gasped. His eyes were not his own; his black pupils were no longer circular, the eyes of dragons, cats, and a very infamous alicorn. The eyes of Nightmare Moon.
Author's Note
I draw the difference between night guard and Lunar guard here.
Friends, what do ya need 'em for?
One Trip We Didn't Plan
Chapter 18
So how's my brain look chief?
It looks fine. Luna looked up at the suspended human. She found something, and inkling of something she didn't like. "We think we are done here."
"Great! So you'll let me down?"
"Not yet," Doug's face sank as he realized what she had found in his mind. The deeper darker secrets that only he knew about.
"Hehe, okay, Luna. Prank's over, you can let me down now."
"We certainly did come across some interesting memories."
"Uh... Wha'd you find?"
Luna strolled about the room looking rather smug with herself. "Oh, things."
"Like what?" Doug was pale now. He looked a little sick. "Whatever you saw doesn't mea-"
"Oh, but it does. We wouldn't have taken you for someone that... kinky."
Doug was sheet white now. All blood rushed out from his head at what he thought Luna saw in his mind. The images and ideas that only he was supposed to see. The secrets only he was supposed to know about himself. "Okay, haha.We've had a good laugh, but this isn't funny anymore."
"We're certainly having a good time"
"Yeah, but you see- wait. What did you see?"
"You like very specific things~" She drew out the last word as the night princess smirked at the helpless human.
"Oh Fu-"
There was a flash of light in the small cell, and Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Discord materialized in the middle of the room. The ponies that had just teleported in were all wearing their respective Elements of Harmony.
"There. You see we're already here! No need to bother with trains- they're boring." Discord said as he looked about the cell. "Ah Luna! Long time no see!" He slid over to Luna smiling.
"What arest thou doing here!? We are in an interrogation!"
"More like probing." Everypony and Discord turned to Doug with varying mixes of shock and confusion on their faces. "Mental probing."
"Thou wouldst make that joke." Luna snickered.
The mane 6 backed up to the far wall opposite Doug and watched him intently. Discord smiled and flew right into Doug's face.
"Oh look what we have here! A human! Haven't seen hide or tail of you for a long time!"
"You know about us?"
"Yes! What'd you think I did while I was in stone? I was universe surfing!" Discord exclaimed as he pulled a surfboard out of nowhere. "You are quite the interesting race! Which uni did you come from hmm?"
"I-"
"Oh that's right- you don't know any other than your own. That's so boring! This all must be new to you isn't it? Flying through another's world completely alien to your own? Why I-"
"Actually its not." Luna spoke up determined to get back to taunting Doug.
"Come again?" The confused draconequus said turning around to face Luna.
"This one knows of our universe. Through an invention they call TV."
"Oh yes television! I love it! A new universe in every show!" With a snap of his clawed hand, a blue couch and television appeared under the Mane 6. Discord wedged himself between them and pulled a Tv remote out from Rainbow Dash's ear. "Let's see what's on, shall we?"
With a click of a button, Discord turned on the TV to show another human staring at the screen. "Oh you must be the author! TPOT for short right?"
The human staring at the screen blinked, raised a finger, and looked like he was about to say something before sighing and dropping his finger. He proceeded to facepalm and rub his temples with his thumb and middle finger.
"Something wrong?"
The human glared back at the draconequus. "This never happened. Got it?" With a snap of his fingers, the screen went to static. Everyone in the room shook their heads. Twilight was the first to say anything.
"Wha- What just happened?"
"Hmpf. Stupid author." Discord mumbled to himself.
"Oh don't worry Dissy! I'm sure we'll see him again someday!" Pinkie piped.
"Wrong universe Pinkie."
"Oh yeah."
"Would somepony please tell me what the hay is goin' on?" Applejack hollered.
"Oh, its quite simple Applejack." Rarity mused. "Pinkie Pie and Discord are having another one of their odd conversations again."
Discord and Pinkie looked at each other and smiled. They both turned to Rarity and said together, "Close enough."
"-for government work." Doug chimed in smiling.
"Ah! We see what thou did there!" Luna said, chuckling.
"Would someone in Equestria make sense already!" Twilight yelled as she jumped from the couch.
"Relax, Twilight," Doug started, "we're just having a little fun."
"Oh can it you!" Twilight snapped. "That's no way to talk in front of the Princess! Why you should-"
"Twilight Sparkle." Luna said commandingly.
"Yes, Princess Luna?"
"This human is an ambassador. He shall be treated as such." She looked up at Doug still suspended in the air by the glowing cuffs. "Ah. We see your eyes are back to normal."
"They are?" Doug asked.
"Yes, they are young one."
"We're going to get an info dump very soon aren't we?" Discord deadpanned.
"Probably." Pinkie chirped. "I bet Luna's going to tell us about eyes and secrets and demons!"
"Yes, but first I need Discord and you six to do something."
"For that chump? No way!" Rainbow Dash shouted flying up from the couch. "He's the one who scared- I mean, started me to death back in Ponyville!"
"Oh yeah..." Doug said thoughtfully remembering the video he had showed.
"Why should we help you?"
"Calm down sugercube, Ah'm sure this here, uhh..."
"Human." Pinkie supplied.
"Thank ya, Pinkie. This human is sorry for what he did."
"Actually, no. I'm not, and you'd know if I was lying."
Applejack frowned. "Now if you'd just let Luna finish, maybe you'd all be willing to help."
"The human is right, as much as I hate to admit it." Rarity began. "Letting Luna speak would speed things along. Luna?"
"We thank thee, Rarity. My sister called you here because Douglas here has had some...trouble with some changelings. Long story short, we had to fix Douglas's eyes and the result might have had terrible side effects. Which is why I want Discord to look into his mind with me."
All eyes turned to Discord. He was eating pretzels he had gotten from somewhere. He looked around, confused before realizing she was talking about him. "Oh, uh, yes! Yes I'd be happy to help read the poor scrap's little mind!"
Discord disappeared and reappeared, roped around Doug. "Well let's look in there shall we?" Discord head-butted Doug and peered into his mind. He pulled away much faster than Luna did. "I don't see anything wrong with him." The draconequus proclaimed. "Was there something wrong with him?"
"That's just what we expected." Luna said smiling. "Girls, would you care to use your elements on Douglas here?"
"That's it, I'm out." Discord said as the mane 6 charged their elements.
"Discord you might want to leave." Doug said. Luna could see he was scared though she did nothing to stop the girls.
"I am." Discord spoke as he phased through the ceiling.
"Mother f-AAAAHHHHHHH!" Doug screamed as the power of friendship and harmony washed over him.
Author's Note
This chapter was LONG overdue.
Please comment any criticism you have or anything you want to know.
One Trip We Didn't Plan
Chapter 19
Kevin and Celestia waited outside the dungeon cell where Luna and Doug were. Kevin was concerned for his friend and he couldn't tell what Celestia thought of the situation. She had been relatively quiet the entire way to the dungeon. Then they heard it. Doug's scream as the mane six used the Elements of Harmony on him. The rainbow of colors shone under the door as the two stood by with the guards.
"What is she doing to him?!"
"Thank you Discord..." Celestia muttered under her breath. "Twilight and her friends are purging Doug of any chaos that may lie within him by using the Elements of Harmony. Hence the rainbow lights." She motioned with a hoof to the spectrum of light spilling forth underneath the heavy dungeon door.
"It sounds like they're killing him." Kevin said worried.
"They probably are." Discord quipped from Celestia's pastel mane. He poked his small head out. "You know, Celestia, it probably wasn't the smartest thing to use one of the most magical artifacts in all of Equestria on a species thats never interacted with magic."
"I'm sure he'll be fine, Discord. He was very receptive to Luna's spell."
"That's why we're here in the first place!" Kevin shouted. "You princesses know nothing about us! You think you're all-wise and all-powerful, but you don't know shit!" Kevin glared at Celestia. "I'm going to go see my friend, whether you like it or not." He walked up to the heavy door and oped it. The guards were about to stop him, but Celestia waved them off. As Kevin opened the door he was greeted by a bright white light.
"Doug?! You alright?"
As the light faded, Kevin saw Doug unconscious on the floor. Twilight and her friends were huddled around him while Luna was in a corner. She appeared to be sleeping.
"What did you do to him!?!"
"We just used the Elements of Harmony on him." Twilight responded nervously.
"Its never had this effect before, sugercube. Did we do somethin' wrong?"
"It sounds like you killed him!" Kevin screamed. He brought himself to his full height over the ponies who cowered away from his friend.
"w-we're sorry. W-we d-didn't know i-it would do that." Fluttershy sobbed.
"Alright!" Rainbow Dash flew up to Kevin's face and belted at him. "You can be upset about your friend, but don't pick on mine!"
"I don't think he is dead, darling. He is still breathing." Rarity insisted. "Just look at his chest."
"Rarity is right, he's still alive!" Twilight exclaimed.
"But what you did to him sounded excruciating. You're lucky he's okay."
"Is that a threat?" Celestia poked her head in the doorway. "I'd hate to see something happen to you in a land full of magic."
Kevin understood what Celestia said: an unspoken warning. "Yes. Ma'am."
"Would you all be quiet! I'm trying to hear what's going on!" Pinkie Pie remarked. She had pulled another bucket of popcorn from seemingly nothing. "It's about to get really good!"
Everyone shrugged off Pinkie's comment as Pinkie just being Pinkie. Celestia noticed Luna sitting in the corner.
"I believe we'll have our answers soon, my little ponies."
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Doug ran down a hallway being chased by a tidal wave of white liquid. A cane in hand, he was dressed in a top hat and suit that looked like it should've been in back 1850's and not on him. The end of the hallway was in sight. Two large doors sat at the end and were his only hope for escaping the milky flood chasing him.
Almost there...just a little more...
He pushed open the doors with ease and closed them again. He used his cane to lock the doors together just as the flood hit. The doors bent outwards, but did not let any of the substance through. As Doug sighed with relief, he drew the hidden sword from its cane-sheath and walked onwards into the room.
It was a circular room with large window panes looking out into space. As Doug stepped closer to the center he could have sworn that he had seen it before. As he looked back at the doors he had come from, they had disappeared and been replaced with a singular window identical to the other ones in the room.
"I know this place, but what's it from? I swear its in a game or something." Doug said puzzled.
He looked outside at the beautiful colors of galaxies and nebulas. The beauty of space did not last. A dark mist pooled in front of the windows effectively blocking out the gorgeous view. The mist seeped through the windows and pooled on the ground in front of Doug. Five other black pools formed at other windows. Doug backed to the center of the room as each of the misty pools formed silhouetted humans. The only color in each of them was their eyes: purple, white, cyan, yellow, orange, and pink.
"Fan freaking-tastic. Shadows." He reached into his coat and pulled out an old six-shot revolver in his left hand. "You want me? Come and get me." The shadow monstrosities leaped at him.
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Luna watched from the ceiling as Doug battled the shadow beasts. Weaving and bobbing between them, using his sword to slice the beasts, seldom firing a shot from the strange L-shaped device. Every time it looked like he had bested one of the creatures though, it evaporated and reformed a few paces away.
The battle raged on for a few minutes, and Doug was growing tired. Luna could see his once crisp movements growing sloppy and his strikes wild. At this point, Doug had used the strange device five times. The six shadows surrounded him and leaped upon him all at once. They effectively brought him to the floor and covered him in a tar-like substance before amalgamating into one being and standing back up.
"It's been fun, but I think it's time we end this. It's been going on for far too long."
The shadow kneeled down into Doug's back and he screamed. It merged with him, putting its legs where his were and its arms where his were. As it melded with him, a light shone from the ceiling next to Luna. Each of the six melded into him. A figure clad in white hooded robes and a broadsword descended from a bright light in the ceiling.
"You run from Harmony but to what? Your demons and chaos?" The figure asked. It sounded familiar to Luna, but she couldn't place it.
"Yesss..." The shadow-Doug responded as it stood up. "You don't know how it feels to be human. To have to constantly fight your impulses day in and day out."
"We do know. And we will set you free!" The figure spun its sword around and stabbed at Doug, but it hit nothing but black mist. The shadow reformed Doug away from the figure sword and revolver in hand.
"You're going to have to do a lot better if you want him." Luna noted that Doug didn't look or sound the same when he reformed from the smoke. His eyes glowed and back streaks ran down his arms like tattoos. His voice sounded deeper and scratchier.
What happened to him? What is he? Luna thought to herself.
"You forget, humans are animals. Animals without mercy!" The nega-Doug raised the revolver and fired at the white figure hitting it square in its head. The figure fell to its knees before collapsing. Its hood fell from its face to reveal a natural Doug- one without the black marks and glowing eyes.
"n-no..."
"Yesss."
"I-I just shot..."
"Yourssself. Yes."
Luna watched in shock as the thing argued with itself. Its voice switching between Doug's and the shadow's. Then Luna realized it, why the white figure's voice sounded so familiar. It was Twilight and all her friends. But she couldn't help but wonder why they were coming from and embodiment of the human boy.
Could it be the Elements?
"GET OUT OF ME!" Doug screamed as he tore at the black markings on his arms. To Luna's surprise, he pulled them off like a sticker and threw them against a wall where they made a copy of exactly how he was.
"Oh, come now boy." A shadowy sword forming in its hand, "do you really think you can best me? Even after you killed the elements within you?"
"Get out..."
"Excussse me?"
"I said, 'GET OUT!' " Doug charged the shadow of himself. He fought with renewed vigor and anger; his eyes glowing blue. Luna had no doubt that the slitted pupils were there as well. She had to end this nightmare needed to end before things got any worse. But before she could do anything, the two were fighting.
Doug started with an overhead strike which was easily deflected by the doppleganger. Doug drew his sword close to deflect a counter strike and lunged forward. The clone blocked the jab with by rotating its sword downward and knocking Doug's sword away.
"Game. Set. Match. You lose, boy." The doppleganger held out its left hand as if to fire a spell when the room shook violently. The glass cracked and the floor started to give way to a void.
"Tootaloo~" The doppleganger shot Doug with a burst of magic from its hand. As Doug fell into the void, he felt nothing but pain. A burning pain that spread over his entire body. With a jolt, he was awake. Staring up at the ceiling at Kevin.
"Hey man. How ya feel?"
Conversations with the self...
One Trip We Didn't Plan
Chapter 17
"Night! Get up!"
"hnngfff..."
"NIGHT! I said get your lazy plot up!" Shining Armor, in full armor, screamed at the sleeping Night Air.
"mmmmfff....Huh? Wha?"
Night Air was a heavy sleeper and slow to wake. It was early morning when Shining Armor came and started yelling in the barracks.
"Come on Airhead. Rise and shine."
"What now? I was sleeping... Sir." Night Air hated being woken up- especially in the morning.
"It's your shift, and the princesses want you."
"Oh road-apples! Why didn't you say that first!" The startled pegasus exclaimed as he rolled out of his cot and ran to his armor locker. He knew whenever the princesses wanted somepony, it was expected that they be there within minutes.
"Sir, did they want me specifically? Or just my patrol?"
"I was told that the next patrol get was to get to the dungeon ASAP. We have an emergency. I'm going to be coming with you."
That bad? Ah road-apples... Ah crap, The patrol! "Sir, did the 'toon wake up yet?"
"The early risers are up, but I'll go get 'em for ya. You just get your gear on and meet us outside, lieutenant."
"Thanks, cap."
"Don't mention it!" Shining Armor shouted over his shoulder as he trotted out of Night Air's room, and into the enlisted bunk room. His stern voice could be heard throughout the barracks.
The barracks became a whirlwind of ponies flying, running, and levitating to get their armor on. It wasn't that the princess requested an entire platoon to see. They had their personal guards for that. The whirlwind of colors began to drain as each pony put their armor on and their enchantments activated. Where once brightly colored ponies stood, now only a mix of white, browns, and gold.
"Atten-shun!"
Night Air exited his room and called everypony to attention. Each guard knew their place in the platoon and filed into their squads.
"At ease." The filed in guardsponies relaxed. Night Air was always lax with his platoon, though he did have a rough side. It just didn't show very often.
"First order of business. The Princesses want to see us before our watch today. We're later than I wanted already... Secondly, Captain Shining Armor will be accompanying us today. Any questions? Speak now or forever hold your peace."
One of the newest recruits raised his hoof. Night Air nodded for him to ask.
"What'd they want to see us about? They never call us in. -sir!"
"I think Captain Armor would be better suited for this question. Captain?"
"You'll find out when you get there."
"Ay! Look at tha time! Platoon, atten-shun!" The platoon's collective hooves snapping together resounded through the barracks. "Fall out and fall back in outside Luna's chambers. Double time it ponies! Di-smissed!"
"Aye, sir!" The collection of guards resounded and took off down the stairs toward the dungeon. They had no idea what they were in for.
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"Luna? What gives!" Doug asked his blue alicorn captor as he was put back in the magical electric shackles he was in not a day ago. "I thought we were friends!"
"We are, little human. This is for our safety."
"To throw me in the dungeon? But I haven't done anything!"
"Yet."
"What?"
"We'll be back in a minute. Don't try to escape."
"..."
Princess Luna left the room and Doig was left hanging. Literally. He waited for a few minutes and nopony came. So he started doing what he seldom did in his alone time: he talked to himself.
"Alright, what'd we do now?"
"You probably insulted her, brain."
"Pfft. As if. I mean, I don't see what could've gone wrong."
"Arrgh. I hate these cuffs."
"Shut up body."
"So... If we didn't insult her... What'd we do?"
"Conscious, Body, I think we may have a trust issue with the princess."
"You know, think you're right brain."
"But I like her! She gave us tea."
"We like her too, but I do't think we can trust her."
"I know! Lets kill them all!"
"Shut up insanity!"
Doug continued to talk to himself personifying his brain, consciousness, body, and insanity. He mostly talked in circles until Luna came back in with a mirror.
"Hey Luna! Any news on why I'm here?"
"Thou needeth see this." The princess held up the mirror to Doug's face. Doug widened and moved his eyes around.
"Oh. Shit. When'd that happen?"
"We think it may have happened when we restored thine eyes. We do not think it is permanent, but it may be an omen for things to come. Thou may have received some... "
"Unwanted?"
"Yes. Unwanted attributes as well."
Luna paused.
"Like?"
"Black magic."
"Ah. Yes that is undesirable."
"We fear thy corruption and the possible damage thou may do."
"I'd fear it too... So whatcha gonna do to me? Elements of Harmony? Peruse my mind?"
"Actually, yes. We were intending on doing both."
"Wow. I got that? Huh."
"Do you mind if we-"
"Go ahead."
Luna was surprised at his response. She didn't expect the human to be so open with sharing his memories and thoughts.
Besides, you can just invade my mind whenever you want. It's not like I have a say in the matter"
We'll try to be as non-evasive as possible.
Luna closed her eyes and laid down on the cold dungeon floor. Doug closed his as well.
Thy mind is...
Balanced?
Yes. Good, yet...
Oh. You going through those memories aren't you?
We haven't even scratched the surface. We're just looking at your mind from a harmonic perspective.
...So everything's in good?
So far, yes. Now what's these other memories you speak of?
Umm... yeah about that.
There was a pounding on the heavy dungeon door. Luna opened her eyes and severed the link between her mind and Doug's. She looked to the door.
"Enter"
A white pegasus clad in guard armor stepped into the cell. He saluted the princess.
"Your Highness, Royal Guard Alpha Company, Third Platoon reporting in."
"Ah, you're here. And who is it we art speaking to?"
"First lieutenant Night Air, ma'am."
"Go and tell your platoon to guard this door. We don't want anypony coming in or getting out without our say."
"Yes ma'am"
Luna dismissed Night Air as he walked out and started giving orders to his guard. Luna shut the door and turned her attention back to the helpless Doug.
"Night Air... Why does that sound familiar?"
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"Twilight!" Spike ran up the stairs of the Golden Oaks library as fast has his legs could take him.
"Yes, Spike?"
"Letter from Princess Celestia. Says she needs you and the elements in Canterlot right away!"
"Really?" Twilight took the letter and began reading. "Spike tell her we're on our way. We'll be there within two hours. I just need to get the girls."
Spike belched and a spout of green flame produced another letter marked with Celestia's seal. Twilight took it and started reading. It only said three words.
"What's it say, Twilight?"
"And bring Discord."
Author's Note
This story take place right after the events of "Keep Calm and Flutter On"
Merry Christmas everyone! If you haven't already, please check out my blog for a Q&A session!
http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/260966/christmas-is-soon-and
As always, comments are appreciated. If you find grammar/spelling mistakes or if something isn't clear, let me know please.
