Chapters Learning ABCs - Aristocracy, Bureaucracy, Chaos
3) A Discordian Night's Dream
Princess Celestia carefully led Twilight through their plans for tomorrow and the important meeting they were going to have. The guest of honor visiting them tomorrow was a griffin ambassador and the meeting they were going to attend seemed to be of great importance; with the Equestria Games coming up and many of the griffins showing up both as competitors and guests, there were many arrangements to be made of cultural, security and diplomatic importance. Twilight didn't have much of a problem realizing what the meeting will be all about, though she was a bit worried of how it would look once she's actually there - still, as Princess Celestia had explained, she was going to be there as more of a consultant, considering her non-existent experience with politics and formalities like this.
After that was done with, the young Princess retreated into her temporary chambers, still going through everything Celestia had told her and checking her notes. There were several highly useful books she borrowed from the library for this occasion specifically, so she figured she wouldn't have a problem with anything tomorrow.
It sadly turned out that Twilight Sparkle knew about the Princess' actual business as much as she knew about nuclear physics. Other that the very definition and perhaps some basic facts everypony knew about the way the kingdom was run, she was unfamiliar with all the political titles, necessities, preparations and duties. She also sadly realized that unlike many other books, these were quite boring - it slightly horrified her to realize she didn't quite like politics as much as she thought she would and it scared her even more that this meant she held a dislike against a book. Her mind tried to find detailed definitions of political systems interesting, but she half felt like she already knew all that was necessary to know and the text itself simply didn't catch her interest as much as topics she'd usually read about.
With a heavy sigh and a slight headache, she decided to leave the read for some other time. The moment she freshened herself up in the bathroom, she felt much better, washing away the thoughts of the dreadfully boring book, but suddenly feeling quite lonely. She missed the mischievous Spirit that she had recently pounded into the ground, but figured he had it coming.
Well, not really. She facehoofed at the memory. She didn't know if he'd come at all today or tonight, random as he was, but hoped he wouldn't be upset with her. Though, knowing him, her being upset with him in the first place probably only amused him further. She decided not to think of it for now. Instead, she spent the rest of the afternoon catching up on some magic studies of her own before descending down to have dinner. Princess Celestia and Luna were both away from the Castle that evening and they wouldn't be back until late hours, so it was going to be a lonely evening, Twilight sadly noticed.
She suddenly realized there was a continuous sound of hoofsteps behind her, which startled her. She promptly turned around, only to realize it was a guard, following her. The familiar stallion in the regular shiny piece or armour stopped in his tracks.
"Yes, your Highness?" He questioned. Twilight stared at him for several long moments before realizing why he was following her - Princesses, or anypony else of higher rank that resided in the castle, often had a personal guard or two following them wherever they went for their own safety.
"You just startled me, that's all." Twilight smiled apologetically. The guard nodded in understanding.
"I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, your Highness, but it is our royal duty, after all."
Twilight nodded back. "It's alright, I understand." She was about to move on, when she looked back at him again.
"If you don't mind, though, could you just..." She gestured with her hoof for him to come and walk by her instead behind her. He seemed a bit surprised by her suggestion, but came up to her anyway, keeping a respectful distance away from the Princess. He glanced at her awkwardly, but when he realized she noticed that, he immediately looked away, as if he'd just committed a crime.
Twilight wondered just how did the guards usually act around Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. This one almost seemed to fear her; Twilight knew better than to conclude Celestia would give any of her subjects a bad treatment.
"Are you alright?" She asked. The guard looked at her, alarmed.
"Y-yes, your Highness." He replied stiffly, stuttering in his hurry to answer her. Twilight tried really hard to stop herself from rolling her eyes. If this was the treatment she would be getting from other ponies now, she already disliked it with passion.
"Look, I don't want to sound, uh... unprofessional , but, I have no idea on what is it like to be a Princess. Let alone govern a country. And, well, I could always use a friend to help me get around." She added, her voice full of hope.
The guard was still tense at first, but then his face expression softened and he gave her a surprisingly cute smile. It was a terribly familiar smile, but she just couldn't recall if she had met him anywhere before.
"I'm sorry, I guess you're right. I should've known better and know that you're probably not comfortable with your position yet."
"Uh... yes, yes! That's exactly it!" Twilight was all but ecstatic - finally, somepony understood her predicament! And what was even better, he seemed to quickly accept the fact she didn't want to be treated like a Princess all the time. His tension was gone and he looked much more approachable than before.
"I suppose I can kind of understand how you feel," he proceeded, "I myself had only recently started working here and I felt heavily out of place at first. Almost as if all the other guards-"
"-were better than you?" Twilight finished his thoughts happily. The guard now returned her smile equally eagerly.
"Exactly so!"
The two simply stared at each other in utter content, until they started feeling weird. Twilight shyly looked away, then spoke again.
"My name is Twilight Sparkle. Glad to meet you." She offered him her hoof. He snickered as he shook it.
"Of course, I know that. I suppose you don't remember me after all, huh?"
"I'm... sorry?" Twilight grinned sheepishly again. "You do look familiar, but I just couldn't point my hoof..."
He saluted, although jokingly.
"Flash Sentry at your service, Princess."
Flash Sentry . The memories of a human male suddenly came back rushing, but she tried to shake it off as the thing of the past - as similar as they were, the two weren't the same person. But she knew this stallion. She bumped into him, two times, at that.
"Of-of course, I remember you now!" Twilight gasped. "I bumped into you once or twice, heh heh..."
"Yeah..."
There was an awkward silence again before Flash Sentry cleared his throat.
"You should get down and have some dinner. Kitchens stop working after nine even for the members of Royalty so unless you can cook yourself, I suggest you go and eat while you can."
Still vividly remembering the fire that almost caught her house when she tried to cook dinner, Twilight quickly made up her mind. "Right. Let's be on our way, then."
The two descended down into the dining room. Twilight insisted that Flash Sentry should join her for dinner - not only was he a pleasant company, but she couldn't stand eating alone in a huge dining hall that was made to accept at least 20 ponies at the same time. He tried to convince her that he wasn't hungry, but the rumble in his stomach spoke otherwise. In the end, they ate dinner together, surprising the serving ponies slightly.
"Thanks for joining me. I don't think I would prefer eating by myself. I rarely do..." She remembered Spike and realized how much she missed him at that moment.
"It's alright." Flash eyes the food on the table, feeling even more hungry than before. "Truth to be told, I skipped on dinner today by accident."
Twilight frowned. "How do you do that by accident?"
"I forgot it at home, is all." Flash Sentry blushed a bit. "I usually pack myself something..."
She snickered. "Oh. Well then, feel free to eat as much as you want."
"Are you sure that's all right? I do feel kinda too privileged."
"Don't worry about it. I know the royal cook well, ever since I was a little filly - she would not let me leave the table until she was sure I ate to my heart's content. I'm sure she'd be careful to ensure my friends get to eat as much as they want as well."
"Well, when you put it that way..." They both took generous portions of tasty dinner.
"Oh, the water..." Twilight eyed the pitcher - it was empty. She got up swiftly. "Hold on, I'll get us some more."
"Princess, please!" Flash Sentry protested loudly before taking the pitcher himself. "You've already done me a great deal of good, treating me the way you do. The least I can do is to serve you, when you need it."
"Don't say that..." Twilight guessed one can only act so much like a friend before a sense of duty kicks in, but she didn't mind. Flash Sentry seemed like he would have done it for anypony at anytime, polite and gentle as he was. Yet, he seemingly enjoyed doing these little things for her, so she didn't protest to his little signs of courtesy anymore.
They had a bit too much fun to leave early and before they knew it, the clock struck ten. Flash Sentry blinked in alarm.
"Oh, it is the end of my shift already! I better go, wouldn't want to keep my colleague waiting."
He got up and bowed to the young Princess. Before she could protest against him doing that, he quickly got up.
"Sorry - force of habit. But I won't be as forgiving with other ponies and Princesses around - I wouldn't like them to think I disrespect you." He grinned playfully and she laughed, not quite knowing why.
"Good night then, Flash Sentry. Thanks for joining me! We will do this again sometime."
"I would love to. Good night, princess!" Flash grinned at her once again before trotting off swiftly. Twilight sighed, not feeling as lonely anymore. She would have a good night's sleep today.
Or at least, so she thought.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Twilight blew out all the candles and got comfortable in her queen sized bed, enough to accommodate at least five ponies comfortably. She felt warm and the overall feeling of joy and happiness overwhelmed her. Her stomach was full of tasty food, she gained a new friend and her wings folded properly without much trouble. Life couldn't be better at that moment. Contently, she drifted off into sleep.
The room was silent. Twilight Sparkle slept soundly. There was nothing suspicious or weird about the room.
Nothing but the sudden, sneaky appearance of the Lord of Chaos, sitting with his arms crossed on the Princess' bed. To Twilight Sparkle, it would look normal. To anypony else, it was a scary sight. The Spirit sitting in the dark, looking at her almost sinisterly.
"My turn, Twilight Sparkle."
Click .
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Twilight Sparkle woke up with a jolt, suddenly wide awake. The room was still in the dark and it was warm - no, it was hot, too hot. She had a feeling she would boil in this room. She threw off the covers and got up hastily, rushing towards the windows. They wouldn't open - neither her magic nor her hoofs managed to open it.
The room was getting almost painfully hot, like a furnace. She galloped towards the room door and flew out gasping for the cool air. The room behind her sealed shut - she could hear a clear sound of the lock in action.
She was about to ask a guard for help, when she realized there wasn't one. It was extremely suspicious. Night shifts wouldn't just leave like that. Unless something made them.
She was thirsty. It was still hot, although it wasn't as horrible as before, but it had left her throat scratchy and dry. She could barely think from the sudden thirst, so she decided to deal with the weirdness of the situation after she'd had a drink of water. She rushed down the stairs. Then some more stairs. More stairs...
She was looping, she realized at some point. She had passed the same painting at least three times.
"What is going on here?" She breathed, by now fairly frightened. As she asked that, the stairs beneath her hooves turned into a slide and before she managed to even yelp with surprise, she found herself in the kitchen. Or at least, what was left of it. There was a sink, a table and an empty glass on top of it, all of it standing on a checkered floor in the room with no visible walls.
Her mind was by now a complete mess and she decided not to question anything - she would do so after a drink. She just needed to drink .
Her magic scooped up the glass and she tried to make the water run.
"No, no, no!" She cried desperately - the faucet didn't work. She spun it left and right. Instead of water, sand poured into the sink.
"No, not sand!" Twilight instructed mindlessly - instead of it, gravel clanked into the sink melodiously.
"I need wa-.. wa-t-... wa-!" Her tongue was stuck.
"I need some wat-eh-!" Impossible.
Suddenly, music played. A familiar song, yet sounding like a lullaby, accompanied by a music box...
♪ Make sure I'm drinking in the right
Amount of fluids day and night~ ♪
That song...
♪ I wish I may, I wish I might
Have just one little thing~ ♪
The music stopped.
What are the magic words? The voice she knew all too well asked.
"Discord, what..." Her voice croacked and her throat hurt and she immediately fell silent. She knew Discord's riddle well. A song.. magic words...She quickly made the connection and she sang the end in her broken voice.
♪ Oh, would you please, finally bring me, that tiny glass of... water... ♪
Twilight Sparkle fell asleep inside her dream and dreamed of seas and lakes and baths and ponds, of rains and floods and pools and puddles and of course, of many, many glasses... of water.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
She woke up slowly. Her throat was as safe as it was before she slept, perhaps a bit dry, as it sometimes was in the morning, the air was fresh and the room pleasantly cool. It was still very early in the morning and stars have only began to go to sleep. It was all a dream. A weird, weird dream.
Then she saw the Spirit sitting in front of her, right on the edge of her bed, by her hind legs and wasn't sure anymore.
"Good morning, Princess."
"Discord?! I..." Twilight shook her head as she sat up. She gave him a stern look. "What was all that about?" She asked, not sure if he understood.
But Discord acted innocent. "You had a bad dream, no?"
"How did you...?"
"You were mumbling a bit." He quickly explained and suddenly summoned a glass of water. "Thirsty, I suppose?"
"I am, thank you." Twilight admitted, smiling weakly.
She reached for the glass with her magic and tilted it, about to sip it...
Then the water color changed. At first it became brightly green and then it swirled spinning some images she couldn't make out.
"Is something wrong?" Discord asked. Twilight looked up at him. If there was one thing she recognized in him, it was the sincerity of what he spoke and his question was indeed sincere this time. There was no implication behind it. Did he not know what was happening to the water? "Drink up." He instructed.
He obviously didn't know. By now, he'd be aware of what was going on in the glass, the green was obvious. She glanced down. The images in the glass became recognizable, though from a different angle. It was a scene of her and Flash Sentry, having dinner, the same scene from the last night.
The water turned poisonously green again.
The wheels of Twilight's well kept mind started to turn and in a few seconds she got it. Deciding to test her theory, she changed her mind.
"I'm not thirsty."
Discord's eyebrow jumped up. "You're not?"
"No, I'm fine." Twilight confirmed.
The Spirit stared at her, almost confused. They both looked at each other with such intensity it was almost a game of "don't blink". She realized Discord was starting to get that something strange and magical had happened; and although none of them knew just how, she knew exactly what it meant and he knew exactly what she learned. It was time to put the cards on the table.
Twilight breathed loudly as it sank into her mind. "You're jeal-!" Her lips were shut tight for the second time that night magically and she gave the Spirit an angry look as he played innocent.
"I'm 'gel'? I need to learn to take compliments from you,my dear." The draconequus grinned widely.
"He just offered to bring the water! This is just childish . This whole dream ordeal was!" Twilight protested. Discord laughed.
"Now my dear, if you really thought that's all there is to such a splendid draconequus such as myself, you don't know the half of me. But then again, I think you do." He added almost cryptically, looking at her expectantly. Twilight's eyes squinted and she laughed softly.
"Let me guess, you're about to do something incredibly embarrassing, aren't yo-"
Her lips were blocked again but this time not with the help of magic nor as harshly. She closed her eyes. The sensation was overwhelming and the air of the room suddenly grew in temperature. Perhaps it was his tail, curling slightly around her. Perhaps it was merely her. She found herself not really caring. The heat wasn't that bad this time.
Discord sat back up, staring at her adorably blushed face. For a moment, he was caught off guard by the starry look in her eyes, and silence prevailed. He cleared his throat and squeezed out the next words with difficulty she wasn't aware of in the darkness.
"Is... this the sort of thing you think we're missing?"
The heat of her face became obvious on his fingers, and Discord suddenly reverted to his regular playful self, pulling away from her.
"Well, I wouldn't like to make another hole in your pretty carpet, so off I'll go! Perhaps some other time we shall discuss you and I over some tea." He ruffled her mane, as he always did before he'd leave and then clicked himself away.
Twilight gave the situation some thought and stared out the window, into the faraway first signs of the rising Sun. The weather was fantastic. She wasn't thirsty anymore.
It was going to be a good day.
Author's Note
/)* 3*(\
Happy Valentines.
Learning ABCs - Aristocracy, Bureaucracy, Chaos
The tea that had been poured into Twilight's gold-rimmed cup had gone cold several minutes ago. The carefully spread butter on her piece of toast probably wasn't as tasty now as when the bread was warm and the half eaten fried eggs lay on the plate forgotten. The young alicorn was staring off into space with such expertise Luna had to use her royally loud accent to bring Twilight back into the realms of normality from her daydreaming. Twilight jumped as the voice of the younger Princess echoed through the hall, making walls and the floor vibrate:
"Twilight Sparkle, do you not find your breakfast suitable to your taste?"
"Wha-," she mumbled before correcting herself, "I mean, no, thank you Princess Luna. Forgive me, I just dozed off for a moment there."
"A moment?" Celestia repeated, chuckling softly at first. "We've been trying to get you to talk with us for the last few minutes. Is something wrong?"
Recognizing the concern in Celestia's voice, Twilight rushed to answer. "Oh, no no no, please, don't concern yourself with me! I just, uh, um, I'm a bit nervous, yes, about the today's meeting - that's all." She mustered, not daring to even suggest something embarrassing yet lovely had happened not two hours ago. Celestia nodded, a familiar motherly smile adoring her face.
"It will be alright, my faithful student. Just follow our lead and listen to your head. It was hardly ever wrong."
"Oh, that is not true," Twilight smiled, slightly flattered. The Princesses got up, having fully finished their meal. When Twilight left her seat as well, they gave her a questionable look.
"Won't you..." Celestia drifted off, gesturing towards her unfinished breakfast. Twilight shook her head a tad bit too quickly.
"It's fine, I'm not hungry anymore!" She ensured them - truth to be told, she wasn't very hungry to begin with. There was an odd feeling inside of her - akin to fluttering bugs, frolicking around in stomach. Celestia gave a small, elegant shrug.
"Very well. Luna and I will now retreat to our chambers so we can prepare to receive our visitor. Please meet us at noon at the Western Tower."
"Understood." Twilight returned their bows clumsily. The Princesses gave her a kind smile before heading back to their rooms.
Once she was back in her own room, Twilight spent the recording five minutes pondering about what would the appropriate dress up be. She figured it wasn't a fancy event, so Rarity's newest creation wouldn't fit the occasion, but her eyes kept glancing at her new crown. Still uncomfortable with wearing one, she stood in front of the huge mirror that took much more space on the wall than she needed and put it on. It wasn't too much; despite still feeling quite weird wearing it, she figured it was more of a formal thing.
"I guess that'll do." She encouraged herself briefly, adjusting the crown. The mentioned crown suddenly shrank and wrapped around her horn, complimenting it perfectly. She was ready to outright tell the Spirit to cut it out with the nonsense, when she took another look in the mirror and - tried not to giggle, failing to do so.
"Alright; that is actually kinda cute. But I doubt Princess Celestia will appreciate it."
"Ah, Celestia; if she were only a bit more fun like some other ponies I know." Discord appeared in the mentioned mirror smiling pleasantly, though his physical self was lacking.
"Are you suggesting I'm fun to have around? Because I'm pretty sure that would be a first."
"You ponies appreciate spoken words a little too much for my taste." The Spirit replied, teasingly adding: "I like to let my actions speak for myself."
The young Princess felt her cheeks becoming rosy.
"Sometimes I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing." She put her tongue out at him playfully and he returned with the same gesture.
"When is your fancy meeting coming up?" Discord inquired. Twilight looked at the clock.
"I have two hours to lose. In all honesty, I'm quite nervous. The Griffin ambassador is coming to visit, to check out the preparation for the Equestria Games. It is important, yet nothing vital for the survival of nations, you know." Twilight went on to explain. "Still, I have to make a good impression. I don't think anyone can take me seriously as a Princess as of yet. I'm not even sure if they should!"
"Well," Discord started expertly, "I didn't know Celestia's protege had so many doubts in her abilities!" The Discord in the mirror put a hand onto her shoulder and startled the living daylights out of her when he also appeared next to her. "Surely you can't do anything that wrong."
"It is not that fact I might do something wrong that concerns me as much as the fact I don't know what is right to do to begin with." Twilight regretfully informed. "I'm no Princess, I'm a librarian. Sometimes a very messy and, well, dorky one, as some ponies delightfully put it." She added bitterly. "How is that any material for a Princess?"
Discord floated around her. "Look on the bright side - at least you'll be the funny one."
"The funny one?" Twilight repeated, initially confused. Discord in his playful ignorance didn't notice nor realize she wanted to come off as anything but funny.
"Well yes! Celly is the serious one, Lunny is the quiet one, and then there's you, Twilight Sparkle, the comical relief of the Canterlot Castle!" He gave her a confused look. "Unless, of course, you don't want to be the funny one."
"Of course I don't!" Twilight stated, her voice growing grave.
"... in that case, I think you might have a bit of a problem."
Twilight was simply petrified at this point, stricken with horror. "You think I'm the one that inadvertently makes everypony laugh at me?!"
Discord looked at her with a mixture of insecurity and amusement. "Yes?"
The poor mare lost it.
"Oh goodness! I can't go! I can't! I'll simply stay in bed and just pretend I'm sick." She swiftly took the tiny crown off, upon which it regained its original size and hopped into her bed, practicing her cough. Discord found it endlessly entertaining, failing to realize she was quite serious in her intentions.
There was a knock on the door and as swiftly as she got into it, Twilight jumped out of the bed so she could push the Spirit in her closet in the matter of moment, quietly hissing 'stay here' before heading towards the door. The last thing she needed was a royal scandal.
She opened the door wide and was pleasantly surprised to see the guard with whom she had dinner yesterday.
"Your highness." He greeted, bowing slightly. Twilight rolled her eyes.
"Morning, Flash Sentry. Nopony's here, you know. You don't have to do that."
"You can never be too safe about that. If my superior saw me not bowing to the newly crowned Princess, he'd be sure to--"
"What, you mean my brother?" Twilight snickered. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind."
"Oh! Right. Forgive me, it slipped my mind." Flash apologized with a cute grin. "But, onto the actual business - I was just sent here to report to you. I'm not sure if you already know, but each morning after breakfast, a guard must report to the Princess they're in charge of watching over on any given day."
"Ah, right, I nearly forgot about that. Thank you for reminding me." She nodded. Flash Sentry must've noticed some of the remaining worry on her face, because he proceeded to ask: "Sorry if you find my question too intruding but, is something wrong?"
"Oh... I... I think I'm coming down with something!" Twilight tried. "Perhaps I won't be able to be a part of the meeting with the ambassadors. Shame, huh? You came just at the right time! You can tell everypony that I couldn't make it!" But it seemed like Flash could read character very well - either that, or she was simply so worried it showed easily, but he responded with a snort.
"Princess, forgive me for saying so, but you're obviously making it up."
Twilight stared, paused in her ramblings, before finally nodding, admitting defeat. She had temporarily forgotten there was a certain draconequus waiting for her in the closet - and unbeknownst to her, he was getting slightly agitated.
"I just don't know what to do, to be honest. In comparison to Princess Luna and Princess Celestia, I look like a filly! Worse, like a clown! I don't want anypony to mock me if I do something wrong."
"Well, you are a beginner, so why do you worry so much?"
"What do you mean?" Twilight got even more confused as Flash tried to explain.
"You know well just how much you know or don't know of being a Princess. Instead of trying to meet everypony's expectations, you should just be yourself and do what you can."
Twilight blinked. "... you make it sound so simple, but trust me, it really isn't."
"It really is." Flash protested, putting a sympathetic hoof on her shoulder. "You just gotta relax, is all." There was an encouraging smile on his face and Twilight felt a bit of her panic disappearing as she smiled back, pleased with the development of the situation.
"Ow!" Flash suddenly retreated his hoof. There was nothing on it, but he tested the hoof on the floor carefully. "Strange. It was as if a short cramp suddenly spread through my hoof."
Twilight did her best to control herself and not shoot the closet behind her a poisonous look.
"Well, that'd be it, Princess. Don't forget, just relax and be your charming self." Before he could suffer any further painful spells, he trotted out of the room, Twilight swiftly closing the door behind him before addressing the closet.
"I can't believe you. He was just being helpful, unlike somepony I know." She scolded as she opened the closet, only to, surprise, surprise, find it empty. It didn't stop the disembodied Spirit from talking to her though.
"He was being annoying." He flatly said, his voice coming from an undetermined source. "Aren't you lucky I made some time for the two of us? If anything, you should thank me."
"Why, thank you for stopping me from socializing." Twilight spoke into the air. "At this rate, you'll be stopping my own friends from hugging me."
Discord suddenly popped next to her, dressed like a detective and going through a fake criminal record of Pinkie Pie. "Well, should they give me any good reason to--"
"Funny ." She cut off with bitter sarcasm, but noticed by his mischievous smile he was merely teasing her. "Stop trying to get away from the subject, Discord. I don't want you to treat anypony that way, especially not the only friendly pony that is thankfully not addressing me by my full title."
"What's wrong with Her Majesty Princess Twilight Sparkle ?"
Twilight groaned in frustration - she felt the Spirit putting a paw on her back and expected to see one of his trademark mocking grins - so it caught her by surprise that he looked kinda... charmed? "What?" She deadpanned, expecting mockery yet again. Instead, he flicked her nose.
"You're so cute when you're grumpy." He replied with the baby talk, making the alicorn flush, just as he wanted her to.
"You're not being very helpful." The Princess noticed.
"That may be so, but I can't say I'm trying too hard. You, on the other hand, have seemed to set your hoof on seducing me."
"What the hay are you talking about?!"
"Oooh, that is just too adorable!" Discord reacted to her angry face, which only made her frown even more, by swirling through the air. "If you keep that up, why, I'll have to-" Before he could even finish the sentence, the young Princess promptly teleported herself.
"... oh, so we're playing a new game! So be it." Discord grinned happily before clicking himself away as well.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Twilight spent the rest of the morning trying her hardest to avoid the Spirit. While she could hardly dislike his company, right now he was making her feel more nervous than ever, with his stupid advances and his stupid comment on how laughable she would be in comparison with the other two Princesses. Knowing him, he probably didn't have any genuinely bad intentions, but seemed to fail to understand how his words affected other ponies sometimes. She ought to lecture him about that soon.
The library seemed like a good place to stay secluded in the beginning, but once she opened the first book that seemed interesting and noticed the letters dancing around each page of every book, she knew the Spirit had predicted her arrival here and promptly put a spell on the the entire library. Grudgingly, she went back to her room to get the only book she ever deemed boring - the one on politics. She spent the rest of her available time trying to get through the five most boring pages in the history of publishing. Failing to do so, she finally went to meet the Princesses at the Western Tower.The Spirit apparently failed to realize she went back to her room, because he didn't appear anymore. For now, anyway.
The Princesses were already there by the time Twilight came to meet them. All three of them waited patiently before the clock hit noon, at which point they could see a shape in the sky. As it grew bigger, they could make out three griffins flying in a formation around the one they could only assume was the griffin ambassador.
Upon their landing, both sides got closer and took a deep bow, an opportunity Twilight took to check the griffins out better. The ones who seemed to be bodyguards wore decorated chest plates and light helmets, slightly similar to the guards of Canterlot in design, but of brown material that seemed more natural and flexible. The griffin ambassador, whose name Twilight recalled as Asil, wore a ceremonial looking chest plate made of solid steel, an image of a fortress skillfully engraved into it. He had a sharp look in his fiery eyes like most griffins did, but it was accompanied with a stern merciless stare that wasn't easy to look back into.
Celestia had swiftly taken over the conversation, welcoming the guests and expressing her gratitude and happiness about their safe arrival; few lines of formal dialogue were exchanged as Twilight presented herself for the first time. Asil didn't seem impressed at all with the nervous looking young mare as he stared down at her, but didn't seem to be otherwise preoccupied with the young princess or her position.
As per the arrangement, they went straight to business afterwards - usually, with equine visitors, a lunch and a rest would be in order first; but, as Twilight recalled, griffins had a different custom where celebrations and food came in the end, as a sign of a done business deal and the beginning of trust and friendship.
It was at the time Twilight recalled that little fact, that she sincerely regretted not eating her entire breakfast this morning. Celestia and Luna led Asil through the carefully laid out plan for the game once back in the castle, pointing out the preparations they have made for the event, the accommodation and the celebration afterwards and answering his questions readily, with Twilight occasionally intervening when asked for an advice or a reminder, which she luckily had no trouble giving - but as the time ticked off, with the business not being nearly done, she could feel her stomach hurt and realized, quite soon after, that it would start making embarrassing noises that would be heard easily in the area that, other from gentle and soft tones of Princesses and an occasional scoff of a griffin, was as silent as a grave.
With half of her mind still on the conversation, she rapidly started playing off all possible scenarios in her head, and realized there was not one where she wouldn't either embarrass herself or the entire country of Equestria.
And then, just as she thought it couldn't be worse, our of a corner of her eyes, she noticed a peculiar stained glass window right over the shoulder of the ambassador and did her best not to face-hoof right there and then. Discord, clear as the day, was there in the window, much like when she first met him, waving right at her with his momentarily pointy, glass fingers.
Twilight was the only one who could directly see him - Celestia had been sitting on griffin's left, with Luna resting on a spot next to her and finally with Twilight forming the circle. She stared at the Spirit with obvious terror in her purple eyes and once she made sure nopony was looking at her, shook her head as subtly as she could. Discord made an 'oh?' face, and then did exactly what she asked him not to - exited the window and flew inside.
Nopony noticed him as he flew above their heads. Twilight kept her head down, subtly removing the drop of sweat on her temple. If Discord so much as dared trying to make a fool out of her, he would pay dearly. Discord didn't seem to do anything, though. For all she knew, having not looked up so she wouldn't raise suspicion, he might've disappeared by then.
Oh, if only.
Twilight suddenly felt something on her tongue - it was round, hard and... sweet? Her eyes crossed over to her nose and she realized there was a lollipop in her mouth. Just like that. Before she could even do anything about it, Luna's eyes crossed over to her and she paused, the question she was about to ask dying on her lips along with her voice. Celestia and Asil looked up at that moment too. Celestia, as always, held a perfect poker face up, while the griffin looked all sorts of confused.
There was never a silence as deafening as the one in the Canterlot castle that afternoon.
Twilight decided to pretend she was stupid, as she couldn't come across as especially bright at this point, so she looked at both Princesses and the ambassador questionably. When that didn't seem to work, she as elegantly as possible removed the lollipop from her mouth - it was huge, pink, and for some reason had a big letter 'S ' on it - and used her magic to banish it whatever level of Tartarus it could reach.
"Pardon." She said, trying her damnest to keep a pleasant smile on her face. "My sugar level was running low. Wouldn't want any incidents, now would we?" She let out a breathy chuckle, at the same time trying to figure out what kind of an apology could she muster up for this one. But her chuckle, surprisingly, was followed by the giggles of both Princesses and in the end, even the griffin had to smile.
"Indeed we wouldn't." Celestia nodded with a most patient smile in the world that Twilight couldn't appreciate more. "Now please, Luna, continue."
"Right. I was going to ask Princess Twilight what does she think of the costs. We seem to plan on spending a greater deal than usual on decor and celebratory supplies alone and since it was in the official agreement that we as hosts are taking over one hundred percent of the expenses, we aren't quite sure if it is a rational economical decision. The last year has been quite hectic, with the royal wedding, the security measures taken and the damage we had to recover from."
"Well Princeth Luna, given the thituation--" Twilight paused as she inadvertently lisped. It didn't take her longer than a second to realize Discord has his damn magic in it again. Celestia tried her best not to smile, while Luna wore a masterful poker face.
It's OK , she told herself, just avoid the letter S. At least the bookworm knew enough words to play this game.
"Pardon." She coughed. "Given the health of our economy, I think we're perfectly vindicated and likelihood of failing into a debt ith fleeting. I have looked into the prediction for the current quarter and I have no doubt that we'll manage to triumph, particularly by virtue of marketing Ponyville apple brand and cherry brand of Dodge Junction."
The griffin stared at her for several long moments in which Twilight realized she probably lost him at a few places. Luckily, Celestia was there to make things clear with her calm confirmation:
"So the apple products of the Apple family in Ponyville added a bit of a boost to our economy? Who knew a small business could do so well." She gave a well-meaning chuckle that everyone promptly followed. Twilight was getting nervous by a second. She wouldn't be able to put up with this for too long, especially not with a lisp and certainly not if her stomach started growling and gave her away.
"I think we are nearing the end." Celestia then announced, much to Twilight's relief. "The only thing left to do is to make sure we've taken the right precaution measur--"
Twilight hiccuped.
It wasn't even quiet.
She flushed to the very roots of her mane.
"Pardon. I theem to have the--" she hiccuped again, and tried to smile, although she was quite furious on the inside, "--the hiccupth."
"That is quite alright, Princess Twilight." Asil suddenly took over, much to surprise of all three alicorns. "Why don't you head to the kitchen and drink some water, hmm? We're quite nearly done, anyway. Join us again for lunch, we simply must celebrate this occasion."
Twilight didn't know what to make out of his tone. Celestia gave her a subtle nod though, and the young princess took the hint - as subtle as it was, it hit against her heart like a sledgehammer.
"Right. I'll thee you at lunchtime then." She bowed as per usual, and it was in that moment that her stomach finally growled hungrily. She didn't even take the time to look terrified or apologize, but did her best to leave the room as quickly as possible without making it look like she was in the hurry. She went straight for the kitchen, boiling as much as the pots in it.
It was the first time at that point that she heard Discord's laughter, echoing through the halls of the castle and that she didn't smile herself.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The lunch went by awkwardly fine. The griffin ambassador, as pompous and stern as he may have seemed before, was quite relaxed at lunch and didn't seem to hold the unusual behavior of the young princess against her. They have led quite an interesting conversation about the griffin folk and Twilight found it delightfully weird; that is, how fine everything seemed in the end.
At about five in the afternoon, the griffins have bid the Princesses farewell and flew off into the bright blue sky from the balcony, promising to celebrate their friendship again when they meet next. Once they left, Celestia finally turned to her student, an amused smile dancing on her lips.
"My dearest student, I couldn't help but notice your atypical behavior today."
"Princess Celestia, I'm really--"
"It was most entertaining, I must admit."
"Entertaining?" The word stung at her. "But I don't want to be entertaining!"
"Oh?" Celestia blinked, smiling a bit teasingly. "I think it is quite a commendable personality trait."
"That's not it, Princess, I--! I just want to be taken seriously! I wouldn't want to think anyone I am some sort of... some sort of joke." Twilight finished solemnly. Celestia's wings wrapped around her in a hug.
"Twilight Sparkle, trust me; I would never, ever let your appearance in front of other ponies come across as a mocking material. You were brilliant today."
"But-- but the whole ordeal with the--"
"Do you think I didn't notice Discord appearing in the room with us?" Celestia knowingly rose an eyebrow, causing Twilight to fall silent, an astonished expression on her face. "I've known everything from the beginning and so did Luna; we explained it to our new friend - who seems to have the most delightful sense of humor. Looks can be so deceiving." She snickered. "He commended your effective way to deal with the situation. If anything, you grew in his eyes."
"So... so everything is fine?" Twilight sheepishly asked.
"Everything is even better than fine." Celestia hugged her again, to reaffirm her statement. "You made me proud, my little pony. Go now; your chaotic friend is waiting for you in your room. Probably wants to laugh in your face, because these little games entertain him so. Don't give him the pleasure." She nuzzled Twilight once more before flying off the balcony, leaving the young alicorn to happily realize that today was a good day after all.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
As Twilight got back into her room, she was showered with a rain of lollipops, confetti and hiccuping candy wrappers.
"There she is! The Princess of Fools, the one and only Griffon Jester, the Lollipop Looney!" He continued to grace her with various titles as he danced around her, messing up the entire room with his silly confetti and candy until pouring a whole bucket of it over her. Twilight sighed, but smiled in spite of it
"Are you done?" She asked through a laughter, confetti streaming down her.
"... I think so." Discord delightfully danced on her bed, making a living mess out of it as well.
"Well, I'm glad you had your fun." The Princess sincerely stated as she shook off the streamers out of her mane.
"... and?"
"And, nothing. I'm glad you had fun." Twilight repeated, her big eyes blinking at him happily. It was only then that the draconequus noticed the blissful expression on Twilight's face and he frowned.
"...You're not grumpy."
"No."
"...You were supposed to be grumpy." Discord clarified. "I like your grumpiness."
"I have no idea why do you like it and I'm not sorry to disappoint you." Twilight cut off almost too happily for his taste. Discord crossed his arms.
"Well this is anti climactic."
"Given the terrors I went through as I sat there, I think the end of my day went just perfect." Twilight admitted, then, gestured around the room. "Would you kindly clean this mess? I can't work or go to sleep like that."
Discord clicked the mess away absently, still into the conversation too much to give it extra care or attention: "The terrors? I haven't done anything that horrible to be called a terror. It was all in good fun!"
"It definitely was!" Twilight smiled. "You had fun doing it, and I am now having a blast because of the consequences. Maybe I should thank you. Still." She paused as she hopped onto the bed next to where draconequus had lied on his belly, the first volume of Daring Do books in her hoof; and then she added in a fake threatening voice. "Don't ever do it again or your flank is mine."
"Oh, Twilight." Discord did his best to pull of a face that was probably supposed to be... handsome , but merely turned out extremely funny. "You can have my flank anytime, darling." He said seductively and Twilight couldn't help but burst out in hysterics at his purposefully lame attempt at flirting, laughing so hard that the Spirit easily joined in.
"Considering all the mean things you tend to do to me, you sure can be funny enough to make up for it. Well, sometimes." She finally concluded, wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes.
"Hey, I guess there is a reason you put up with me after all!" He replied through a happy grin. The two stared at each other for several moments too long and the awkwardness ensued - on Twilight's part at least, as she tried to delve into the book she brought, only for the Spirit to close the book just as she opened it.
"What is it?"
"I say. You have one handsome specimen of a draconequus right here next to you and you choose to cuddle with books instead of him?"
"... well, I am a certified bibliophile, as much as I don't like the word." Twilight cleverly avoided stuttering.
"When am I going to get treated like your books do? Why, I'm certain that at this point, your books know more about you than I do."
"Feeling jealous again, Discord?"
"...Touché, my darling."
The two chuckled again and Discord gave up from any further attempts at cuddling, instead satisfied with reading the book together, Twilight still carrying the excited shine in her eyes as she once again embarked on a journey with Daring Do - and, Discord had to admit, as much as he loved her grumpiness, there was something extra about that sparkle in her eye.
Author's Note
Point out the mistakes please! There likely are some and I don't have the time for it. xD
Learning ABCs - Aristocracy, Bureaucracy, Chaos
5) The Importance of Being Reformist
When Twilight Sparkle finally got back to her peaceful library in Ponyville, she had only Heavens to thank for the peace of mind the smell of her books and aging wood of the library brought. Well, that, and Spike; it was topped perfectly with his surprise gathering of friends he organized in advance, knowing well how tiresome the whole ordeal might be for Twilight and how much she would miss her friends. It wasn't easy putting up with both the mischievous Spirit and the surprisingly boring politics for two days, and there was nothing like some Pinkie Pie-induced fun to get her into better spirits.
Speaking of the devil, just as Twilight was about to savor the taste of a crispy, fresh lettuce sandwich prepared by Applejack herself, she felt her teeth sinking into a sponge. With an expertly practiced frown, Twilight sat up straight and gave her best annoyed sigh, trying to indicate just how annoying the trick was.
"Hey! Ah' prepared that with ma' own two hoofs! Don'cha go ruinin' ma' effort!" Applejack was the first to complain; judging by both her and Twilight's face, the prank wasn't appreciated in the least, and the Spirit had to give up.
"My oh my, I didn't know you had so little appreciation for the Royal Kitchen." The Spirit snickered as the Princess dug into her restored sandwich but she shook her head, her mouth still full as she managed to let out:
"Ah jus' din' 'ave tahm chu eet."
"An image of a true Princess, ladies and gentlecolts." Discord captioned it effortlessly, and a new photo of a sloppy Princess eater fell onto the table. Neither Spike nor Rainbow Dash succeeded in stopping a giggle and when Twilight asked the small dragon to get rid of it, he secretly held onto it, finding endless entertainment in the young Princess' bad table manners.
"So," Discord started as he descended next to Twilight, twiddling his thumbs, "have you had a chance to talk to Celly about my role in this country as a fair, kind citizen and a fellow-pony-like thing?"
"Oh. Why, yes, yes I did."
She paused, but couldn't keep quiet for long as the Spirit began to nudge her.
"So? What did she say?"
"Well..."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"He wants what ?" Celestia couldn't help but blurt out, only to quickly correct herself. "I mean... Discord says he desires, a... job?"
"I really wouldn't dare to claim that nor call it such." Twilight frowned. "I suppose you know how much of a dislike he holds for both the word and the term." She paused, for the first time not entirely sure what it was that Discord desired out of the whole thing. "He just wants something to... occupy him, I suppose."
"...I see." Celestia gently tapped her chin. "Well, given that he is our ally now, I don't see why we should deprave him of something like that. Even if he did desire something so, ah," she gave it a brief pause, "common , as a job, I doubt many would rush to his aid."
"Exactly. That's why I thought, perhaps you would have an idea on what to make of his alignment with us."
"Hm." Celestia looked mildly uncomfortable but sounded a tad bit more confident once she spoke: "I can't promise anything, not anytime too soon. I'll try my best, however, to find something both suitable and, at least to some extent, enjoyable, for him." She gave Twilight a soft, even apologetic smile. "You can imagine why this would turn out a problematic task, I'm sure. I'm sorry I can't be of more help."
"Not at all!" Twilight beamed. "I couldn't think of a single thing myself... I'm sure he'll be able to appreciate your help just as much as I do. Thank you."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"... she's looking into it." Twilight said simply, not wanting him to give up on the idea though she was fairly certain Celestia herself had little to no idea on what to do about him.
"Are y'all telling me Discord wants a job or somethin'?"
Five out of seven pairs of eyes went into his direction, all ranging from doubt to disbelief. Pinkie merely looked incredibly entertained by the concept.
The Spirit huffed. "You know, a draconequus of a fine social status would have thought the closest ponies he's so far met would've had bit more faith in his image. After all this time, anyway."
"Look Disc, I don't think you exactly get the entire picture." Rainbow Dash felt obligated to explain. "It's not that we don't trust in your good intentions but you aren't exactly what one would call-"
"What Rainbow Dash here is tryin' to say, you're exactly the same as her."
"Hey!"
"Now don' be so humble, Rainbow Dash, you know as well as anyone you don't do nothin' until you must and/or at the last moment."
Rainbow opened her mouth to protest at Applejack's all too honest words, processed them for a moment, and finally gave up with a shrug. "When you put it that way, yeah." She pointed at Discord. "He's worse, though."
"Oh, without a doubt."
"That he is!" Pinkie chirped in with a giggle, only encouraging the rest to be as brutally honest.
"Well, I- I guess I'll kind of have to agree with them... Sorry..."
"Truly, for someone who claims to be of a fine social stature, you sure have little to be proud of in sense of actual accomplishments."
Much to their surprise, the Spirit looked nearly offended.
"No accomplishments?? I'm mentioned at some point in every other history book!"
"Not exactly what we-"
"Little colts and mares digest and retell the terrifying stories of ME while burning their marshmallows!"
"If that's the best you could do, I don't want to know what's the worst you could do!" Rarity offered as an off-hand comment and though it was meant to draw laughter from others, it was the straw that broke the camels' back. Before he knew it, Discord's voice suddenly grew much louder.
"I stole all your Elements, and had a very good chance of doing it again had it not been for-- !" His eyes momentarily darted towards Twilight, and it was probably a good things that they accidentally did, because in that moment he realized he'd gone a bit too far for a good taste, stepping and about to cross the boundary where a discussion would turn into a fight - something he was incredibly easily prone to doing. Now noticing tense eyes all around him, he swallowed the rest of his words and let out an exasperated breath. This was not the sort of drama he'd usually sign up for.
"... I know not most, if any of these things are held in high regard by any sort anywhere but for what it's worth, at least I did them successfully and I did them the way I wanted to, and of my own accord."
Knowing he'd lack any sort of understanding among the company, he mumbled 'I'll just go now and think about what I did or whatever' sarcastically before clicking himself away dejectedly.
They all looked at each other, not exactly sure how to feel or what to think.
"He's kind of got a point."
The six mares looked at the little dragon, again speechless. Spike, feeling more attacked by their stares rather than realizing they were all genuinely curious, quickly started to explain.
"Well it's not like he's got much else going on!" He managed, trying to avoid meeting their eyes but at the same time seeming eager to explain, even reddening in the face as he did. "The guy has power greater than anypony we know! The ways he uses them are the only genuine field where he gets to be creative for an eternity! I guess, in his words and by his, uh, idea, it's less boring than whatever we might be doing!"
Though it was a grim notion, Twilight couldn't help feeling he was right. Having been and accepting himself as nothing less than a villainous personality must've come and bit back harsh once he realized it's all he's ever been and all he's ever done, specifically now that he decided on not doing it anymore.
Still, Twilight wondered, what was it that made Spike see it? She couldn't fathom the idea that he had ever felt similarly to the chaotic Spirit. Did he find a way to connect to his experience?
"I truly didn't mean anything..." Rarity suddenly started but didn't go on. Though originally meaning to have a point, she suddenly felt guilty.
"It's alright, Rarity. I'll talk to him later. I'm sure he knew you didn't say it just to be mean." She sighed heavily. The gathering of her friends suddenly didn't feel as good as before and they ended it after another mostly quiet cup of tea, during which Pinkie Pie took it into her hooves to cheer them up with an anecdote. Though she stayed true to her Cutie Mark and managed to draw out both laughter and smiles, once each of them left the library, it left Twilight with many confusing thoughts, wondering if Discord truly was what he grew to be with her, right here in her little library, starting from the moment they first played Chess Mess and actually had a good time together,with his interaction with both her friends and citizens of Ponyville, with the way Spike nearly started seeing him as an older family member-
Oh , she suddenly realized, that must be what he is to Spike .
She did once figure Discord was much like a funky uncle to Spike. Having little to no male companions of any sort in his life was probably something he had unconsciously missed. It was no wonder he had jumped to his defense, even if it was for personal reasons. But then again, she figured, there must've been a way or a reason Spike had figured out for himself why Discord must've felt the way he did.
As they were gathering teacups and the remnants of cookies and sandwiches, she constructed the question in her mind.
"Umm, Spike?"
"Yeah?"
"How do you understand what Discord feels like?"
Though she had obviously caught him utterly unprepared with that question, she didn't expect him to blush.
"Is everything alright?"
"I just-" He didn't' really know where to look or what to say and she didn't want to put any pressure on him.
"It's okay! You don't have to tell me if it is uncomfortable to you. But, Spike, you do know you can tell me anything, right?"
"It's really stupid!" Spike defended right away and started rambling to the point where she couldn't stop him. "I mean, I guess it's not to me but otherwise it's incredibly dumb and I probably spent way too much time thinking about it but I just, I just thought-," he paused briefly, "I just thought for a while how Discord, knowing nothing but hurting others as fun -spending time with others- simply entertaining us with, like, the shadows of what he can actually do! I really, really hope they are all as worthwhile to him as they seem to be because-," he actually had to pause and gather his cool, before he finally finished his unexpected speech: "Because I really would hate if he were doing it just because. Just because, 'momentary distractions' and 'nothing else to do'. I really hope he's as changed as he acts and says he has." He looked up at her. "I would hate it if he were suffering for our sake."
Twilight had to admit herself - she never thought for a second that could be the situation at hand. That Discord had merely settled for an 'okay' just because he felt like he had no choice, rather than breaking the rules as usual and reaching for something right within his grasp. It couldn't be. Not with everything they've been through, not with the way he looked at her, not with the way he cherished her company, the way he-
She blushed and shook it off - there were more important things at hand right in this moment, because Spike looked seriously distressed by the idea of Discord being in such a heavy dilemma with himself.
"Spike, I know it would seem that way but it's obvious that he has changed-"
"That's exactly the problem. You, me, this whole town and ponies in it - we all changed him! What if he hates it?"
"That's not true, Spike." Twilight firmly said, her words more confident than she suddenly felt. Only a few minutes ago, she would felt just as confident as she sounded. Discord would never accepted misery in face of everything he could ever have and even if he did - why would he ? He had his own chaotic home and dimension to fool around in. What was it that she was not seeing?
Again, she left the thought for later examining and spoke to Spike again:
"Remember the story I told Princess Celestia about Discord and I? How we traveled into the depths of his own being? How he willingly fought the side of him that wished so much pain upon us? If there was ever a time I knew he was on our side and fighting for the ponies he liked, it was then." She nuzzled him. "So don't worry so much about it. I can promise you right now he's enjoying his life with us as much as we are enjoying it with him."
It took Spike a bit more nudging and comforting before he willingly pulled himself together, still conserned but clearly less distressed than before. Though it was all good for now, it still remained a mystery to her how in the world would she approach the draconequus about the entire thing.
Deciding patience is a virtue, she simply decided to let go for now, believing it would be best to let him return on his own, once he had some of his own thoughts to share and facts to digest. Some time alone would certainly do her some good, because the subject laid heavy on her chest, only magnified by the fact there was a whole different layer of her feelings towards him that nobody knew about and, for the time being, nobody would know.
It would be a long wait with the countless thoughts tumbling in her mind and his whereabouts unknown, so she did the best thing she knew about distracting herself, grabbing the most distracting book she could find and entered the world of imagination, quickly sinking into it but Discord never quite out of her mind.
Author's Note
Oh hey, it's alive! And it's okay if you don't care. I deserved it.
Probably full of mistakes but hey! Ponies are all about them and learning and such.
Greeting from a stressful, rejuvenated life!
Learning ABCs - Aristocracy, Bureaucracy, Chaos
6) I Can't Fight this Peeling
Though she had expected the Spirit to appear back in the library by the next morning, Twilight decided not to think too much of it when it didn't happen. She knew it wasn't the first, and it definitely wouldn't be the last time he'd disappeared for whatever reasons he had on mind; reasons which were sometimes as important as the contents of her fridge and sometimes a bit more significant, like they were right now. If Spike were any right at all, the Spirit had plenty to think about and, whether he knew it or not, he probably needed to talk to someone, as well.
It was with a positive mindset that she first descended down the stairs, thinking about whatever it was she was going to have for breakfast and low-key trying to think about all the things she could tell Discord in an attempt to get him to open up when she, oddly enough, heard his voice calling out to her.
It took a second time for him to call her name to realize that no, she wasn't just hearing his playful voice in her head - wherever he was, he was near.
"Discord?"
"Hey, Twilight! Can't you see me?"
The unicorn knew that tone well - she couldn't see him, and yes, he did know it, and he loved it. She rolled her eyes, and a small smile escaped her.
"If I had a bit for every time you hid from me in plain sight, Discord, I'd have my own castle."
"Everything in time dear but never mind that - I thought this through and it's perfect! Not only is it funny, it's the perfect solution to our problems!"
Twilight made a face but kept her composure, managing a soft, understanding voice. "I'm not sure which of the problems it is you're talking about but if you think turning invisible so as to hide from any problem life throws at you - or us - is the key to everything, I think you'll find it pretty inconvenient."
"How so?"
She sighed. "... Do I really need to explain that?"
"Well of course not but I'd love to hear you try." She heard him snicker and it promptly annoyed her. "Then again, turning invisible is not my forte, not nearly creative enough if you will. So there's truly no need to waste your breath on the inconvenience of invisibility. No, the root of my kind of problem demanded a different solution."
"I'll be sure to remember that. So, where are you?"
"Take a few steps forward~," she heard him sing playfully and listened, knowing it would be the literal only way to end the silly game, "now turn to the right and take a few more," she did, "aaand stop," she stopped, "now, to your left!" and to her left she looked, and there was her couch and oh good celestial goodness what -
"...Discord."
"Yes?"
"Discord-- I-- what?"
"Go on now!"
"What, you'll have me ask you?"
"I would very much prefer it!"
Twilight Sparkle gritted her teeth. "Discord, why are you like this?"
"Like what?"
She rolled her eyes as hard as she could before producing the question with a hard-to-ignore amount of inner pain.
"Why are you a potato, Discord?"
"I'm a couch potato, mind you! I guess it's because I can be, Twilight Sparkle!" The tiny Discord, in his newly founded form of a tasty veggie, chirped happily from his spot on the couch. At any other time, she'd be able and willing to appreciate the tiny, large eyed, bearded face on the uneven surface of the muddy potato but she had a feeling she was being mocked in one way or another rather than being a part of this... ordeal.
"I have a distinct feeling I'm not in on the entire joke about you being a potato. Aside from a terrible pun, of course."
"It's a brilliant reference to a much more entertaining universe and a much more intriguing character of the chaotic neutral persona, such as myself, not that you would know anything about any of it. Also, I can make puns out of it."
"... What?"
"Superficial pop culture references aside, a couch potato is indeed the perfect profession for me! Aren't you glad I found my calling?"
"... What do you mean, your calling?" Twilight asked briefly, mostly too shocked to manage a more comprehensive question.
Impossibly, the potato shrugged.
"You and your friends have made it quite perfectly clear to me yesterday that I can't really do much of anything aside from being an utter bag of rotten carrots to anypony else, so here I am, literally doing the job for every single pony in town who had ever decided it would be nice to just sit down and unwind for a change! How's that for useful?" He ended triumphantly.
Still processing the questionable origin of the phrase "rotten carrots", Twilight Sparkle finally got her wits together and firmly replied:
"That is not like anything we had said yesterday."
"One pony's trash is another pony's treasure as they say! Or, as is with this case, one pony's joke is another draconequus' insult!"
"There is no such idiom!"
"Stop me from making one, I'd love to see you try!" Potato Discord exclaimed, and in its excitement, toppled over to its side. "As a newly appointed couch potato, I have all the time of the world to make up some more!"
Truly, there were few words to describe Twilight's mood at that very point; which was oddly appropriate because Spike suddenly came rushing down the stairs, looking more frantic than ever with at least a dozen of what looked like her various researches from over the years and mumbling something under his breath, only confusing her further.
"Spike? What are you-" Hardly could Twilight Sparkle finish her question when in came Rainbow Dash, narrowly breaking down the door, followed closely by Pinkie Pie who masterfully balanced a ludicrous tower of cupcake boxes on her back. Both seemed to have been at whatever they were doing for a while, for Pinkie looked distinctly worn out by both the cupcakes on her back and even Twilight herself, whereas Rainbow Dash barely managed to catch any breath before speaking.
"TwiIneedthebookquick!"
"What?"
"There's no time to explain!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, incorrectly perceiving Twilight's confused face for that of a questioning one. "The book, the one you've been yammering about for month on the formation and density of cloud, whatsitsname-"
" 'The Formation and Density of Clouds' is exactly what it's called."
"Good, hand it ov-" Spike, in a very Pinkie-like fashion, popped seemingly out of nowhere, and in a very Twilight-like fashion handed over the book; and just like that Rainbow Dash was gone before Twilight could properly register any of the happenings. To add insult to the proverbial injury, she didn't even manage to utter a sound so as to question the madness around her, because her mouth was suddenly filled with sugary delight of Pinkie's cupcakes, and so was Spikes', who didn't seem to mind it as he, much to the Princess' horror, started correcting her researches, by the looks of it. Somewhere in the back, Pinkie Pie made a groaning sound upon realizing she failed to bake a cupcake of an appropriate size for the Potato-Couch-sized Discord.
"What is with-" Twilight didn't manage to end that one either before Pinkie Pie let out a frighteningly loud bellow.
"YES FINE I'VE BEEN SLACKING ON THE CUPCAKES I'M SORRY YOU'LL ALL GET YOUR SHARE," she found it important to exclaim far louder than necessary and bolted out, presumably to bake more, and along with her out went- Ditzy Do? When did she come in? And where was she taking those books?! She looked over to Spike, ready to question it, only to catch him correcting her researches with one hand while using the other to checking out one of the books to Berry Punch, who was out just as quickly when in came more ponies-- Just what in Celestia's name was going on around here--
From somewhere outside, from an old Megaphone, the Mayor's voice echoed through the Ponyville, and along with it, many other voice altogether slowly filled out the otherwise quiet air of the village:
"Hello citizens of Ponyville, this is your Mayor speaking, letting you know that this weekend's activities of the city hall will include re-establishing of Ponyville council, so if you'd please- "
"What in tarnation is she babbling on about at this time of day?! I can hardly sell anythin' with all this racket goin' on-"
"You know very well we can't put this off anymore Lyra, if you don't tell them, I sure as heck will!"
"Hello, I'm here to deliver your fun fact for the day-"
"Not now, can't you see I'm terribly busy?!"
"But- it's the only thing I do in this town! It's what I was born for! What am I to do if you're not willing to-"
Such and much worse racket had been going on outside and Twilight Sparkle was certain it would turn into a civil war at any moment should it continue but she simply didn't know how to go about even trying to fix the suddenly crazed ponies who seemed both eager and stressed in their attempts to get whatever work they had done as soon as physically possible.
"SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON!" The Princess screamed, hooves in her hair and eyes twitching - and as if hearing her desperate plea, the potato 'poofed' on her back like a small, weirdly shaped, muddy cowboy, snarky and cool looking but otherwise unwilling to provide a satisfying explanation.
"My oh my, Ponyville is in full working force right now! I don't suppose you have much to do with all this work being done. You and I could simply unwind!"
"Discord, now is really not the--," a single poof later, they were both on a couch, watching television... in another dimension, as empty and as white as the inside of an egg - wait, is that yolk down there? "--time."
"You're right, it's not time and it most definitely isn't space; it's a dimension of mine! As for the time, we have the entirety of it for ourselves!"
The TV turned on. For some reason, it broadcast Celestia, in the middle of finishing her lunch in the solitude of her chambers.
"There! You won't find entertainment like this anywhere!" The potato rolled off her back and plopped onto the couch, speckling it with dried up mud and dirt. Twilight was not happy for many reasons at that moment but to see her couch messed up even further was the last bit that finally made her utter something other than 'what'.
"Discord, you are the most immature, roundabout, inconsiderate somepony I've every seen."
"For the love of everything, you're about to make me blush and I haven't even turned into a yam."
"I am not amused, Discord!"
As if on cue, the Celestia on the television burped quietly to herself and promptly made him giggle. It merely served to horrify Twilight herself, and to put an end to her patience.
"Would you please explain already why we are inside of a freakin' egg?!"
"Oh, that one was almost a good joke," Discord jovially began, "you see, my first intention was for both of us to settle in some nice little corner of your mind, which I then figured would have to be egg shaped, with you being an egghead and all that, and I ended up finding the whole idea so funny I accidentally put us inside of an actual egg."
"... Wouldn't that make everything dark?"
"Pardon?"
"If we were literally inside of an egg, everything would be dark. Where's the light coming from?"
"... Well, there goes the surprise!" Discord grumbled, and in an instant, the giant egg cracked and both them and the contents were spilled into dark, colourful, vast, faraway place among the stars. "Also, I lied; we absolutely and definitely are in space."
As Twilight Sparkle helplessly floated around, temporarily marveling at the stars and her surroundings, and even managing a giggle at the way the sentient potato went spinning into space, she started thinking on how in the world did she manage to end up where she did before noon, and the more she backtracked, the clearer it became that this whole day made little to no sense, starting from the exact point where Discord decided being a potato would be a good idea, and it was from there, now that she finally had all the peace and quiet to think about it, that she finally understood the unusual behavior of the residents of Ponyville - and Twilight gasped.
"Discord, you can't do that !"
"I figured you'd be glad I did!" Discord replied, readily catching onto the meaning. "After all, now I can be lazy for everyone, which is apparently what I do best!"
"That's pure insanity, and not how ponies work! Heck, that's not how anyone-" Her eyes met his, and she stopped herself. "... I mean, forget it." Twilight added as a final thought. She looked away and into what she believe was a faraway planet. Real or not, who knew? With Discord, it was never easy to tell these things... and, it would appear, it was for the best, if he were to be happy.
... Perhaps it was easier than it seems.
"You know what's missing here?" She suddenly started, drawing a guffaw from him.
"Missing? What could you possibly miss here? It's literally everything, cramped into your eyesight!"
"Funny." Twilight rolled her eyes. "No, what we need is something different, like..." Needless to say, she never did anything like this, so it took her a little while to get creative, and once she finally thought it through, her horn emitted a spark and a light... and the stars moved and showered like tiny specks of shiny snow onto and all around them. Discord let out a small, excited yelp.
"By Chaos, you learn! I love it!"
"Oh, right?" Twilight encouraged, though having little to no idea what she was doing. "Well, wait until you see this!" She concentrated. The faraway planet suddenly came rushing at them, like a giant, wild beast ready to crush them, gaining size with every second. It suddenly had a mouth, opening at them like a giant cave, and the planet's core gaped at them with bright, blinding red light--
"Run!!" Discord, grinning from ear to ear, and suddenly back in his original Draconequusy form, grabbed the Princess and the two flew through space at an unimaginable speed that would in reality tear at both of them but no such thing happened here - her wings were as fast as his and her speed greater than any living thing she had seen, and there was suddenly a sun of white and without thinking much about it, they both flew straight into it--
There was light and a potato-sounding thud, and Twilight and Discord were back on the couch in the library, intertwined in way they didn't imagine they would be... with a dozen or so of Ponyville's residents, many of whom apparently had a lot of overdue books and a lot of books to lend, suddenly staring at them. Spike was mid correcting a word in the research and reprimanding someone about a book, when they suddenly flashed into existence, and he didn't notice a blotch of ink forming on Twilight's research.
"Just in case you didn't figure it out yet, that was no space. I lied. Sorry."
Ignored the completely out-of-nowhere and unnecessary explanation, Twilight addressed the room. "... Well, that was enough excitement for the morning, don't you think?" She loudly announced as she disentangled herself from Discord's tail with as much grace as the situation could provide. "You did so well today that I really think you should all just, like-- take a break or something?" She tried, hoping for the best.
As if by a spell (and it was definitely by a spell of Discord's), the citizens of Ponyville, Spike included, so wrapped up in their own business up until then, suddenly deflated and relaxed and all went home one by one, already tired from the week's obligations pushed into a single morning, and ready to take it easy for the rest of the day.
Twilight turned around. Spike, practically sprayed in ink, stood next to Discord, still covered in specks of dirt from his transformation. Her mane was a mess and all she wanted was to go back to bed.
"Well... I guess you could say this was one mashed up morning, huh."
Author's Note
Oh hey, it's been less than a year and I updated! Rejoice! *throws confetti*
Learning ABCs - Aristocracy, Bureaucracy, Chaos
7) Running in the 90th Dimension
"With the entirety of the Ponyville out for the count for the rest of the day, the mischievous, and undeniably handsome agent of Chaos seemed to have thought he'd have the unique opportunity to be the center of Twilight Sparkle's attention, for a change."
"Nonsense! You've been nothing BUT the center of my attention ever since you first moved in!"
The Spirit sighed. "Yet, your dragonboy and the rest of the Ponyville's once bothersome but now, I'll admit, tolerable ponies I would even dare to call friends seem to have nothing on their mind but impeding us from doing what we should do."
"There's literally no business you haven't pushed your nose into since you're here, whether by accident, design or invitation."
"I'm not glad you're saying that, and I'm further disappointed that you're not asking the important question." He sulked. The unicorn rolled her eyes.
"And what question might that be?"
The Spirit beamed. "Well, you see, I implied there is something you and I should be doing while everypony else is minding their own business! Or in this case, sleeping." He added. "So, naturally, this is where you ask me," Discord's face suddenly very much looked like her own, twisted into a pouty grimace, " 'oh Discord, whatever do you mean by that?' " His face reverted to normal. "See?"
Receiving nothing but a deadpan in return didn't stop him from adding a reply of his own: "Excellent question right there, my dear! Now I know we've had some issues lately, you and I, and in attempting to put that nasty business aside, as well as aid you in some other things, I've thought of a perfect thing!"
"Well, I AM intrigued."
A drumroll was heard coming from nowhere, and Discord announced: "A DATE!" Trumpets trumpeted, confetti confettied around as Twilight wondered how in the world could they possibly do such a non-existent thing, and a dozen wild white birds appeared, making rounds around the room before they all crashed into the walls, where they popped into a hundred tiny gummy-bears.
"A date?" She repeated, frown of confusion following that of curiosity; however Discord didn't seem to pick up on any of them if it were to be judged by the way he clapped his hands and rubbed them vigorously, more than likely mentally patting himself on the back.
"I know, I know, it's an amazing idea and I want to hear no silly little objections about it! I know you would go against it, thinking I might find such a thing much too boring for my usual taste!"
"Umm-"
"Furthermore, I know I may be the chaotic, wild, freedom driven persona of truly hard-to-graps ideals, dreams and thoughts but even such magnificent individual as I has to agree there is enjoyment to be found in having a little "us" time. That being said, if you're ready for our little private get-together, I would kindly ask you to grab my hand!" And so he extended his fuzzy appendage to her, not at all recognizing the array of emotions traversing Twilight's face, and taking all of it as a sign of wonder rather than anything else.
It was at this time that Twilight felt obligated to break the news to him, though she didn't for the life of her have an idea how to do so gently. Lacking such knowledge - and perhaps more importantly, lacking quite a bit of common sense when it came to tactful approaches to emotions - her mouth spoke before she could think properly:
"I don't do dates."
"Oh." That sunken reply of his was so swift, and his change in attitude so sudden that Twilight immediately knew she had said something he didn't expect in the least. With both of them stunned, though for different reasons, silence grew between the two. A solitary cricket chirped somewhere outside the window.
"What I mean is," Twilight started again, eyeing carefully Discord's hand that still hung in the mid air, ready to take her hoof, "I don't really like the entire, um... concept of dates. I've been on a few... some time ago,"she added a bit awkwardly, "and I really can't say I enjoyed much."
In the days when he still didn't know Twilight Sparkle as well as he did right in that moment, Discord would have taken it as a personal offence that she would compare whatever his idea of a date was with the idea of anypony else. However, Discord had realized during this course of a few months, perhaps disappointingly quickly, how stubbornly Twilight accidentally found herself in situations when she refused to realize that anything about Discord was far from normal - unless someone would point it out to her.
Knowing all that, he learned to use the same amount of patience with her much too often unrealistically simple perception of him that she had when she had to deal with whatever shenanigans he had on his mind.
"But of course," he finally replied, "you wouldn't think I would prepare anything as simple as any other pony, would you?"
In an instant, Twilight Sparkle face reflected realization.
"True. Come to think of it, your idea of a date must be anything but whatever I can imagine."
"Well then, it's settled, I hope? I have to say, as powerful and mighty as I am, my arm is starting to ache a bit." He playfully said, still hopefully shaking his hand in front of her.
"... You do realize I have no idea what I'm agreeing to?"
"Neither did I when you all forced me to live under your roof, and yet look how wonderful that turned out!"
Stuck somewhere between a laugh and a frown, Twilight finally gave in.
"Fine, fine. But you better keep us safe."
"Oh dear, we'll be anything but!" The Spirit promised, and before she could utter another word, grabbed her hoof and clicked his fingers, finally leaving Ponyville in the state of utter and complete silence.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
If she were ever to describe in a written form the events that took place during the course of her and Discord's first official actual date, Twilight Sparkle figured, she'd need more than a sturdy set of quills and many, many... MANY pieces of paper. She'd need many cups of tea- no, coffee , even - a lot of patience, and a mind not warped by the many things she's seen. That last one seemed a bit out of reach. To say all that hardly meant it was boring, for she was fairly sure the excitement of their date was never going to wear off entirely, and she was all in all pleased to have a memory so worthy of the Spirit and his chaotic ways... as weird and sometimes strange-dream inducing as it was.
And even so, the entirety of the date took her by far smaller surprise than the state Ponyville was in once she returned.
She and Discord had hardly transported back into the town, into the middle of the town square, when the collective population of Ponyville that witnessed her return from wherever she had been literally lunged at her, and for a short moment, Twilight Sparkle feared she was about to be trampled by the angry crowd who had, perhaps, had enough of the Spirit and his shenanigans - only to have herself being lifted up into the air, the square resonating with cheers of joy. The ponies around her shouted, laughed and cried, some of them calling her name hysterically, some even choosing to bow before her presence. Such was the commotion that no one did nor could reply to her numerous questions, all of which basically narrowed down to 'what the hay is going on'.
"Twilight !" The familiar voice of the young dragon broke over the crowd louder than anyone else, and the ponies made way for the Princesses' young friend. Twilight, momentarily overjoyed to finally see a well-known friendly face, was struck with terror as the face of the young dragon came into clear view. His eyes were red and tired, face spotted with dried tears and his overall appearance disheveled.
Throwing herself into her hooves, the dragon sobbed into her mane, his words a mumble of various sounds rather than any reasonable terms, and as such, drawing any information out of him remained impossible.
The situation was slowly annoying the initially startled princess, who didn't prefer being ignorant of anything; coupled with the general chaos around her that didn't seem as if it was going to subdue anytime soon, she felt she was slowly losing patience with her subjects.
Discord cleared his throat.
"Perhaps I should get us home?"
"If you would, please." Twilight deadpanned. And so he would do if he didn't suddenly see his fingers getting trapped in a block of ice. Alarmed, he look around.
A unicorn, a mark of snowflake on his flank, was glaring at him. Next to him he noticed another pony... and another, and another, a whole herd of ponies glaring and before he knew it, he was being subdued - or at least, letting himself be subdued, for he was nothing if not a gentleman. And vastly more curious than any being in the universe.
Twilight on the other hand, wasn't as calm. "What in the hay are you lot doing?! Have you gone insane?!"
"Do not worry, Princess!" One of them yelled, likely not having taken her panic as a sign to stop. "We stopped him once before, and we can do it again!"
Before their young majesty could do anything about it, Discord was tied up and forced into the dusty floor of the square. His face betrayed nothing but the sort of sick curiosity one has upon encountering something entirely off.
"We did it! Get her majesty to safety, quick!"
Twilight was sped off into her library with an unintended slowness, for she kicked and yelled for a good long deal before finally catching Discord's very calm grin and decided the Spirit of Chaos had everything well under control. Her head low and her eyes blazing, she retreated to the library with Spike, and was finally greeted with a quiet surrounding, interrupted solely by the shouts and voices from the outside.
"If somepony - meaning you, Spike - doesn't explain what's going on right now, I think my brain will implode." Twilight briskly said. Spike, so far in tears and finally getting some semblance of calm, rubbed at his face, some sort of light confusion finally dawning on him.
"W-what do you mean, what's--- we've been looking everywhere for you."
"... I mean- I-" Twilight paused, looking away and into nothing, for only a moment wishing she wasn't a Princess but rather a bird, or a lost cloud in the sky. The moment of serenity was but a moment, and she was just as quickly back in her library, quickly coming up with what to say with what one would call the patience of a saint.
"Spike, I know I am a Princess now, and I know it might put me in unfavorable position among some who might not like it - but I don't think I've been holding this position long enough, nor made any major changes, that you should have to panic about me the moment I disappear out of town for more than five minutes."
Slowly, Spike's saddened expression turned upwards to meet hers, contorted into a frown.
"Five minutes?"
Twilight rolled her eyes, a helpless smile forming. "Okay, a couple of hours, Spike. Since when did you decide to get so literal with me, usually I'm the one having to loosen-"
"You've been gone for three weeks."
It took merely hearing that to suddenly notice the thin layer of dust covering the entirety of her library. To sneak a peek of a poster of her own face, right there outside her window. To steal a glance of today's newspaper, scattered on the floor, majority of the occupied with the various iterations of a single question:
Where in the world is Twilight Sparkle?
Twilight Sparkle's face gave way to a worn out grimace, more than suitable for the life of a growing Princess who had in that moment realized that she would be paying heavily for those three hours of fun she had. Again, the thought of fluttering away into the sky, never to return again, came to her. She wondered if Princesses Celestia and Luna had these impulses, being far older than she was and probably having far greater issues at hand - issues they personally weren't responsible for.
"Oh, the press is going to have a field day." She grumbled and made for the kitchen, knowing she'll probably be brewing tea not only for the distraught dragon but for her friends, too... as well as half the Ponyville population who knocked down the Spirit of Chaos to the ground for her. That much, she figured with a small smile, they deserved in the least.
Author's Note
I was gonna finish this more properly but had the better thought of leaving the amusing aftermath for the next chappy.
Alive and writing! Life is a dirty bitch but I'm fighting it anyway!
As always, you're welcomed and begged to notice and correct any grammar mistakes.
Learning ABCs - Aristocracy, Bureaucracy, Chaos
8) Much Ado About Something
Though it took but a mere afternoon for all the Ponyville to realize once and for all that their Princess was not in any mortal danger nor gone for good, and that the Spirit of Chaos taking residency in their town had nothing but good intentions, Twilight Sparkle knew it would take days, perhaps weeks if not even months for the chaotic circumstances of her three weeks long disappearance to completely mellow down.
The upside to the entire situation was that thanks to the fierce efforts of certain Ponyville citizens, the news of her disappearance managed to not spread out like wildfire, and ponies everywhere would believe her location was disclosed to some of her more trusted contacts. The Equestrian Princesses, whom the news reached discreetly in a form of a message delivered inside of one of Pinkie's giant cupcakes, managed to keep a surprising amount of composure to the entire situation. By all accounts, the Princesses seemed happy and relieved, and have discreetly decided to not immediately invade her with question, even though Cadance seemed like she knew there was more to the excuse of a 'short vacation that went dimensionally out of control'.
The downside of the entire situation came with morning's national newspaper two days later, headlined with a decorative, massive black lettering that read "Twilight Sparkle back from her incognito vacation in the unknown", followed by a six-page-long article that questioned her whereabouts, just where it was her vacation took place, if her tan got any better and if she finally 'did something with that mane of hers'... and by far the worst thing, just what it was that she was doing in a position of a Princess, questioning her abilities.
Twilight frowned at the newspaper as she threaded through it, finishing the text in less than ten minutes, for most of it was utter mumbo-jumbo. There was even a section questioning if she took her supposed 'vacationing' to Tartarus, the possibility of which she spent far too much time considering at this point.
"Why would anypony do this? After all the trouble ponies of Ponyville went through to protect my name, this is nearly worse than what could've been!"
"Nonsense, I'm certain it is still much better than you causing a kingdom-wide panic by your unexplained absence! Just be lucky that nopony local has spilled the beans!" Discord declared as his body disintegrated into many tiny Discord-faced seeds of bean. "Consider this a lesson in subtlety." They declared. When she didn't say anything, and her eyes narrowed even further, the tiny, numerous eyes suddenly looked less enthusiastic. "Oh dear. Come to think of it, this was entirely my fault, wasn't it?" They asked in unison, smiling apologetically. The Alicorn fumed.
"Are you kidding me?!" Twilight demanded loud enough to topple the beans off the table, and they made a pleasant sounds as they hit the floor, akin to filly's giggles. It only served to provoke her even further. "Ugh, I can't even imagine why I figured I'd get any consolation talking to you!"
"Now that's just taking it too far! I can be very caring and sensitive!" The beans protested. Twilight eyed the beans dangerously.
"Three. Weeks. " She managed through her gritted teeth. The beans cleared their throat, and put on a sweet face.
"Call it a small mistake in figuring out the time theorem. Dimension travelling isn't easy, you know."
"Is the idea of at least apologizing really killing you so much that you have nothing better to say?"
"Is that what this is about? Me being sorry?" For once, he seemed surprised as he morphed into his normal self. "I was pretty sure at least that much is evident! I mean, why else would I do visual puns?" He extended his palm, in which a single bean left stood, squeaking sadly: "You usually love visual puns!"
Shutting both her eyes and mouth firm, Twilight had to remind herself for a countless time that being Discord in any place that wasn't his first choice was not easy. She eyed the bean and sighed. It was a pretty solid dumb pun, she had to admit as she looked at his face again, all hopeful and sincere.
"I do, I do. I just--" When she couldn't find any extra words to say, Twilight simple sighed. "I just need some time alone, alright? I can't handle anypony or anything right now. I... I need to clear my head." And with those somber words, she picked herself up and into her bedroom. The Spirit crossed his arms, and sighed just as sadly. He certainly didn't expect such a turn of events out of their first official romantic outing. Especially not after it went so well. If that one thing caused the entire kingdom to look down on her, just how bleak could their future possibly be? Was there one?
A future... without Twilight Sparkle?
"Oh, this simply won't do." The Spirit decided with a snarl.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"You want us to do what ?"
"I thought I made myself perfectly clear." The Spirit blinked. "Tell whoever makes this to stop putting such awful things into press."
If there was ever a day that Celestia nearly allowed herself to be insulted by someone, it was this day. Luna and her had been called many names, and their own names have been dragged through many papers, and mentioned across mouths in light both positive and not but it was a first that someone casually, indirectly referred to any of them as an actual dictator. She had to steady herself and, much like her student, remind herself - this is Discord. When he wasn't actively trying to insult someone, he had little to no knowledge of whether he just did so.
That being said, she figured she might as well have her fun with this conversation. Luna, as stoic as ever, simply sipped her tea, letting her sister take over the fun part of it.
"I suppose this is quite a problem for any young Princess' reputation. Whom do you suppose I should talk to?" Celestia inquired, suddenly amused by the concept the draconequus had drawn up in his head.
"Whoever is writing these!" Discord slapped the copy of the newspaper on the impeccable surface of her tea table. "Not that I would know anypony who does it."
"Hmm, indeed, a pony responsible for this should probably be, in some way, confronted about such an awful piece of tabloid news making it this big."
"Quite." Luna remarked idly.
"I knew you'd see it my way!" The Spirit exclaimed happily, when the Princesses continued:
"But that being said," Celestia mused, "we have to decide who the real culprit is. Is it the pony who authorized the printing? The author himself? The editor? The other editor?"
"The little filly accepting money for these on the street corner, the salespony selling them, their boss for allowing them in their store, the ponies buying them, reading them, enjoying them? Decisions, decisions." Luna continued. They paused long enough to enjoy the Spirit's baffled expression. Celestia let out an overly dramatic sigh. "Perhaps the culprit has been before you all along."
"... You?"
Both Princesses could hardly contain their laughter. "The Princess whose honour you're trying to defend, is what I meant." Celestia replied.
Discord opened his mouth, paused, then blurted out: "Well it's technically all my fault, so-"
"Hook, line, and sinker." Luna remarked again, though this time a small smile dancing on their lips. The sisters chuckled, and Discord realized they were teasing him the entire time.
"Mockery is most unbecoming for both of you. Have you no shame?"
"We do but definitely not enough to stop us." Luna managed. Clearing her throat, Celestia eyed him more sincerely as she continued. "Discord, we love, cherish and pay attention to every part and citizen of our kingdom - we try to, at least - which is exactly why there is no way in the world we would ever think of controlling them - or their actions - in a manner such as you suggest. It's not the kind of rule we'd like to impose."
"Well, I could-"
"And neither will you, if you appreciate what you have right now." Luna added, her tone a pure deadpan.
The Spirit didn't seem to understand the notion of an all-powerful being doing nothing at any given problematic situation as he further exclaimed: "But - you're the rulers of Equestria! Surely you have some say in what can or can not be said in public! Surely you can simply demand and they will-"
"Well, there was a family of such rulers once, a long ago, and if you had read the any of the history books on Equestria, you would have known that it didn't go so well for them. Nor can such form of rule be imposed in any... peaceful manner."
Discord grumbled, shooting Celestia a glare. "I thought you of all ponies cared about her."
"I very much do care so please, do not imply that I don't. The idea makes me irrationally angry." Celestia coldly said, promptly lowering the temperature in the room. The Spirit fell silent. Luna sipped her tea, carefully watching him before finally deciding to be more generous in her replies.
"You seem to care in abundance. It's a surprise, to be sure." Celestia blinked at her sister, seemingly confused. Luna looked at her, speaking up again. "It is not everyday that the god of Chaos comes to us, asking to use our potentially dictatorial ways to shut down several businesses in favor of his friend not being dragged over tabloids. Which all of us in this room suffered before, if I might add."
"You do make a good point."
He made a face. "Oh, here we go with friendship again! Yes, indeed, I do care for quite a few ponies now, your precious little Princess included. Odd that you should point that out as discussion-worthy; I thought this was precisely what you wanted in the first place!"
"Indeed but that still doesn't explain this entire ordeal." Celestia rubbed her temple, starting to get seriously invested into the matter. "You came here to demand impossible of us for the sake of a very small issue."
"Miniscule." Luna added.
"Entirely baffling, really." Celestia added further. "I can only conclude you have a hidden motive, or on the other hand--"
"Well excuse me if I care !" The draconequus finally snapped, and in a rather atypical fashion, clicked himself away with such vigorous anger that a burst of air pushed at them both. Their manes tousled, the royal Princesses shared an odd look. Luna shrugged.
"I have little to no idea what all that was about but it sure made for a more exciting diary entry."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"... Discord, I'm not doing that."
The Spirit was at his wits' end. "You of all ponies should understand! You're practically her sister!"
The only Princess he had left to reach out for help let out a patient sigh. "I'm also a member of the royal family, and if I were to magic away anypony that badmouthed someone, I'd have my hooves full with nothing but that. Not to mention you simply don't do that!" She eyed him nearly angrily. "Did you really think nopony has something to say against any of us?"
Discord groaned. "Of course not but-"
"But what?" Cadance demanded. Unlike Celestia and Luna, she left no room for jokes or quips. "I know you're not here for her sake, so speak clearly, I truly have no time for nonsense. Unless you tell me this instant why this is so important to you, I'll have to ask you to-"
"Because it is important to her !"
"... Oh." Cadance said. Her eyes, much to his horror, rounded in realization. "Oh ."
"Oh, no." The Spirit, in a fit of panic, did the only thing he could think of - and a single touch to her forehead later, Cadance fell asleep. "Oh Tartarus, not with this again!" The Spirit wailed. He would truly have to watch out for such spontaneous actions. He took a big breath.
Alright, alright, I- I just need a minute to think and then I'll wake her-- Just one, single mi--
"CADANCE! What have you done with her, you-"
"Oh, not you too!" Discord said, and feeling like he had gone way beyond the end of his wits, snapped his fingers in Shining Armor's direction. The pony fell asleep in the middle of the wild gallop, plopped to the floor, and slid the rest of his way right next to his sleeping wife. The entire situation would surely throw him into hysterical laughter if he weren't hysterically panicking at that moment.
"What in the Tartarus am I doing?!" Discord observed out loud, eyeing the sleeping ponies on the floor. The situation had gone way out of hand, hoof and claw, and he had no idea how to mend it. "Right, I can- Right, right." He teleported the Shining Armor to their bed, made sure he was comfy, and clicked to wake Cadence up.
She stirred awake, and immediately shot him a glare.
"That was the only time you'll do that without consequence."
"On my honour, it wasn't on purpose." The Spirit fidgeted.
"Forgive me if I don't buy tha-" Then she noticed that Discord, in fact, fidgeted . Did he even notice it? Did he know he was, in fact, capable of such reactions? She blinked. "You're serious."
"Is it really that hard to believe I didn't do that intentionally?!" The draconequus growled but she shook her head.
"No, no I mean-" She sighed. "The bit before that. Before I fell asleep."
"Oh. That."
Silence.
"Are you serious?"
"What's with you ponies and confirmations?!"
Cadence was the fourth and last pony Princess on that day to remember that Discord had an odd way indeed to communicate and, bearing that in mind, asked no more about the certainty of this new information. Her eyes rounded and rounded, silence reigned, Discord was preparing to have his entire future questioned and stomped on--
And then she smiled, and in voice dripping with what he could only define as unadulterated joy, uttered:
"That's incredible ."
When he clicked himself away at her words, Cadance wasn't surprised. It was his way, she realized. He'd be back one of these days, anyway.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When Discord returned to Ponyville in the afternoon, he had hoped this entire ordeal would be done and over with, and he would be able to forget about it forever, simply deciding on never glancing or allowing another newspaper to be left in the library ever again.
Little did he know, this day would only be the beginning.
By dinnertime, Twilight had largely recovered from her sour mood, and though she didn't seem keen on bringing the topic up again, she was clearly in higher spirits than before. Everything looked as if it was going to be just dandy before the little dragon could be heard burping loudly three times, and though Discord knew exactly who those letters were from, he hoped in vain he was wrong about it.
It was only after dinner, when Twilight joined him on the terrace, that she brought up the topic he dreaded.
"Discord, why have I received three letters from the Princesses asking me if everything is alright here? Some of these are pretty oddly constructed. I'm pretty sure Celestia might believe I've been kidnapped or something."
The Spirit scoffed. "It's just old Celly's way of humoring herself. Don't let it stress you out."
"... Right. Well, I just wanted to confirm with you. I guess the newspapers freaked them out a bit if they felt the need to reassure me this way. Come to think of it, that's very sweet of them." She paused with a small smile, rereading one of the letters. "Cadance specifically implored me to talk to you before replying, so if you really got nothing of substance to say, I guess I'll just--"
"There is one tiny thing, I suppose."
"Oh, well, let's hear it, then!"
The Spirit thought long and hard that day about the entirety of everything that had happened. Surely, there was something he had wanted so desperately to say. Surely, this whole day couldn't have been in vain. Surely, everything he did that day was in fact just a very, very roundabout way of saying-
"I never wanted this to happen to you."
"Oh." Twilight looked up at him. "You wanted to apologize? It's alright, I mean, you did; just not in the words I expe-"
"No, no, not that." He grew frustrated, and looked her in the eyes, for once catching Twilight off guard with his own seriousness. For a moment more he was silent, trying to realize how to put emphasis into what he was saying. "Consider this more of..." pause, "... an acknowledgement that your pain is as serious of a matter to me as is a pain of my own."
Silent for a couple of moment during which Twilight managed to process the fact Discord was indeed capable of empathy, the Unicorn gently touched his paw with her hoof, and smiled. Her meek reaction was merely there to cover the fact she felt like doing a somersault right there and then.
"Thank you. I... honestly didn't know it but I needed to hear that."
Immediately reverting back into his typical playful self, Discord sang out: "Nothing but the best from the best draconequus around!"
She rolled her eyes, "I guess I should've known that after such a fantastic date."
"Ha! So you DID like it!"
"I never said I didn't! It was only the aftermath that upset me."
"Well, as one wise Princess once said, 'all of us have suffered before, so walk it off '."
"I sincerely doubt any of the Princesses said that." Twilight scoffed as she got up. "I'm going to bed. We have a long day ahead of us."
"Oh, we do?"
"Right, I forgot to tell you - Princess Celestia invited me to Canterlot again on some official business - she expects I could learn a a lot this time as well." She paused. "You're more than welcome to come with."
"I would never miss a chance to give you another lesson in flight."
She giggled. "It's a date, then! Night."
"Sleep tight."
Left alone, as the entirety of the day wrapped up in his mind, as Cadance's words echoed in his head, and the image and memory of Twilight swam before his eyes, Discord managed to very suddenly realize the gravity of everything he had been feeling toward the young Princess... and the entirety of it thrilled, and terrified him.
Learning ABCs - Aristocracy, Bureaucracy, Chaos
9) No Sense nor Sensibility
Considering everything that took place during the last couple of weeks, Twilight Sparkle could with utmost certainty conclude that, out of the many visits she paid Celestia and Luna, this particular one was by far the worst possible one of them all. Perhaps it wouldn't have been as bad of she hadn't become a member of Royalty recently but between that little bit and the rumours that followed her recent "disappearance", there was little room for consolation in her mind. This day was beyond saving, and not even the ever-cheerful Spirit could fix it with his typical visual humour.
"I'm sure you had the best intentions but that's not very tactful." She noted as she watched the Spirit who, dressed in a striped outfit and dragging a ball and chain around on his hoof, half-wailed, half-sung out the Foalsome Prison blues but even its cheerful take on it had no effect on her mood, and he gave her a saddened smile from the other side of a sturdy set of metal bars.
"Perhaps you're right on that account but I still find this situation entirely thrilling."
"Last time you were incarcerated in Ponyville, you didn't like it one bit. And it was only like, an hour or so."
"Ah, but it's not me rotting in a cell, is it?" Discord offered with a silly grin. The alicorn rolled her eyes.
"The only reason you're not inside with me, as you know, is because you decided you should let yourself out while no guards are here."
"Well they do seem to trust you , ironically enough, to keep an eye on me! Your subjects must love you very much."
"Or, they know this is all just a really weird shape of formality.
"Either way, it'll make for one funny story when you get old!"
As a sorrowful melody left his newly summoned harmonica, Twilight Sparkle pressed her face against the cold bars of her prison, and thought back to what, at the time, seemed to have been just another day in Canterlot...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Actually no, it wasn't at all just another day in Canterlot, it was the day when Twilight's royal education would include but was not limited to meeting a board of various ponies and other individuals responsible for imports and exports of Equestria - a board that was formed because of some ill-tempered individuals trying unsuccessfully to do their job at the faraway borders of their kingdom, and a board whose successes were to have an impact on further interactions between Equestria and the many lands that surrounded it.
That alone was enough to make Twilight more than a good deal nervous, and while Canterlot became more and more visible as she and Discord soared through the sky, and the Castle started to sparkle beneath the setting sun, the young, inexperienced Princess felt again a familiar pang of guilt, knowing she was hardly ready for - and as such, hardly worthy of - such an important diplomatic mission.
Perhaps her nervousness was more obvious that she thought, for as she let the wind carry her, she suddenly felt soft fur beneath her hooves, and realized Discord has made it his gentlecolt's duty, if you will, to carry her the rest of the way on his back.
"You seem every bit lost in your thoughts as we are among the clouds." He snickered, turning his head towards her. "Royal life wearing you down?"
"More than I like to admit." Twilight scratched her nose as she recalled the yesterday's conversation with her friends - they visited her to comfort her about the publicity she never asked for, but once the conversation shifted to today's visit to Canterlot, Twilight had ensured them she had everything under control - a bit too well, it would seem, because even Spike didn't deem it necessary to wish her luck that morning. While she understood that her friends were quite busy these days, she had to admit - it left a bit of a bad taste to see Spike lazily wave from his basket, still sleeping, instead of sharing a cup of tea and an encouraging word or two with her before she left.
Still, there was no time to dwell on such things. She looked ahead. "But it'll be alright. I've gotten through worse, I'll get through this as well."
"My oh my, what a brave thing to say in the face of danger such as the one waiting in form of couple of diplomats!" Discord teased, and Twilight bit her tongue to stop herself from replying, because - he was right. She was being needlessly anxious about the whole thing, and knew that when the time came, she'd do everything the way she was supposed to do. When the moment was of the essence, she could provide with her best self.
Everything until that point however, would be - simply put - bananas.
And such a strange thing it was to think of bananas because the next thing she knew, "Ow !," a banana bounced off her head and fell down, down and down to the grassy plains of Equestria, never to be eaten, and possibly serving as an unsuspecting comedy prop. Both the Princess and the Spirit stared down after it for a long time, not even the ever pun-prepared Spirit willing to make a joke out of it just yet.
"So, how -"
"I have to admit I have no idea, my dear. I can only imagine somepony zoomed past us really fast, somewhere above." As if on cue, they both looked up but if there was a culprit to be found, they had already left the scene of crime a while ago, while the Princess and the Spirit were busy following the approaching demise of the falling banana. "I guess it must be somepony's idea of a good prank." Discord continued, idly. "Quite avant-garde but not unwelcome."
"I do suppose one like you knows how to appreciate the absurdity of the entire thing better than I do."
"Oh? You did not find it interesting?"
"It's not that - it's just that the question of how will haunt me for the rest of the week."
"I should have known a mare like you would be more interested in the root of the situation than its entertaining consequences."
"Not to say I don't appreciate it, though!"
Twilight thought it weird how she was in a position to say she appreciated having a banana fall on her head while flying five thousand, three hundred and forty nine feet in the air on the back of a chaos-embodying being. Discord apparently didn't, because he looked uncharacteristically happy about it.
"So you're saying you do appreciate it?"
"I guess a quirky mystery as just as good as a more... down-to-earth one."
"... Twilight dear, please tell me that-"
"My pun was intended, yes." Twilight's chest puffed a bit. "I must admit, I'm really glad you noticed it! I've been going through the newest edition of the Equestrian Dictionary, and I picked up a few more funny bits that can work great pragmatically just as much as semantically."
Discord found the following speech about Twilight's dictionary and the new practical purposes of its contents endlessly funny and endearing but along with it, he found it endlessly concerning that it endeared him so. The scene took him back to yesterday, and the entirety of the 'accident' that prompted him to come to Canterlot with Twilight in the first place; he had a few ponies to pay a visit to, and Cadance was definitely on the the unfortunate list of ponies who would be seeing him that day. Of course, the young Princess herself knew nothing of the yesterday's events, nor of his intentions as she blissfully continued to list the entries from her dictionary that tickled her fancy. If she did, the Spirit figured, he'd have loads more to deal with than he already did.
It was perhaps for the best, because the moment they arrived, Twilight wasted no time in getting ready for the meeting; he realized she didn't need any more baggage to deal with than she already had. For now, he would handle things alone.
"Well, I'll be going to meet the Princesses and these diplomats." Twilight announced as she lastly placed the crown on her head. "After meeting Asil the last time-"
"Who might that be?"
"The griffin ambassador. Anyway, after meeting him , I'm pretty certain I'll be able to talk to anypony - or anyone else - more easily. He looks pretty uptight but was in fact very friendly." She smiled to herself. "You know, I have a good feeling about this!"
"That's the spirit! Off you go and impress your board of whats-their-names. I'll just be...", his gaze lingered around her chamber, trough the window onto Canterlot, and onto the ceiling, "preparing a surprise party or something while you're gone."
Twilight made a face, halfway between a amusement and suspicion. "Knowing you, you already have that one prepared."
"Just a click away, too!" Discord gleefully exclaimed as he clicked his fingers, and in a second the room was bursting with Discord-ian party vibes, balloons obscuring her vision and confetti falling over her mane. He could hear her laughing behind the curtain of streamers.
"Impressive, if a little unoriginal."
"I suppose confetti are a little overdone at this point but I assure you," he paused and grinned, "they will not be the main charm nor focus of the party."
Happy that she blushed lightly, even though it was accompanied with a roll of her eyes, the Spirit watched Twilight waving at him before leaving the chamber, and the party in the room disappearing along with her; the confetti slowly retreating into their containers and balloon deflating into non existence with her departure, until the door shut close and the last streamer slithered away into the void it came from. Discord spent a moment wondering if he had meant for his magical party to work like that, before deciding the best pony to ask was exactly the one he came to visit.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Alone in her chambers and getting herself a hot cup of well deserved coffee and rest, Cadance was blissfully unaware of the Spirit's presence in her chambers but it still didn't take her by a big surprise when she suddenly noticed one of her lamps didn't look the way it used to. She frowned at the lamp that bore the resemblance of the chaotic Spirit momentarily, then smiled at it, looking a bit excited.
"I was wondering when you'd come back," she remarked, "and yet I didn't expect it to be so soon!"
The lamp spoke to her as it moved in a clunky manner, its big, googly eyes spinning around without control and pieces of it being chipped away with ever gesture.
"You sure do sound... delight ed about it."
"I am!" Whether she ignored the pun by accident or on purpose, he didn't know. "I'm rather eager to know about your perception of world through the lens of loving somepony." The Spirit left the lamp and slithered out behind her sofa, eyeing her almost suspiciously from behind it.
"This sort of approach reminds me suspiciously a lot about Twilight Sparkle's inital reaction to me moving in with her."
"Who would ever know two ponies who spent so much time together could have so much in common, right?" She teased. "On a more serious note, you don't need to get defensive just because it's love you want to talk about."
He made a rather painful grimace, the expression which the Princess took notice of rather quickly. She knew this wouldn't be easy for him, yet the amount of distaste he seemed to have for all of this wasn't something she was used to. "How about you get comfortable first? I just brewed some coffee, if you'd like."
It was the Spirit's first time that someone other than Fluttershy or Twilight asked him to have anything with him one-on-one. Sure, he had numerous get-together's with Twilight's closest friends, and crashed a good number of parties during his stay in Ponyville but without having Twilight's level-headedness to even him out or Fluttershy's kind and accepting attitude toward literally anything he said or did, he discovered he had quite the difficulty to sincerely open up to somepony new.
Still, he took her invitation with silent dislike for the situation, slipped onto the sofa and crossed his arms. A cup of fresh coffee floated over to him, held in air by Cadance's magic.
"Drink up before it gets cold. If you need any sugar or milk-"
He didn't wait before she finished that sentence to take a good, long sip. The beverage was hot, bitter and fulfilling. Though he preferred it that way, this time it only served to remind him of Twilight. He sighed.
"A mixture of my exact feelings on this whole mess."
"Pardon?"
"Oh, nothing, nothing, just musing on my own. Though I guess the reason I'm here is so you could help me muse."
"In knowing that, you've already made progress. Perhaps you're not aware, having spent most of your time with the literal Princess of Friendship but ponies are in general rather hostile towards their own feelings. It's good that, even in such a hostile environment, you know what you came for, and have to do."
"That might be the case but to be perfectly sincere, Twilight's sister, I have no idea what I'm doing."
"Understandable." Cadance nodded, preparing to continue. For a moment believing she would have to pull things out of him word by word, she found herself surprised when she was interrupted by what she could only describe as an impressive monologue on emotions.
"I mean, what is the point of even discussing these things with anypony else? From my understanding of this ideal pony-tastic society, these things happen, progress, culminate, and then either last forever, or simple fade away with time. There is no definitive textbook on it, no branch of magic that ever successfully explored it, not a single self-help book that can give one a definitive solution - if none of that helps, what does? What is there that I'm missing in the grand skill tree of romance? Which part of this emotional scheme have I managed not to master in this couple of thousand years long life? If I haven't figured it out by now, I can assure you nopony else has, which in turns renders this entire discussion utterly unnecessary! And yet , in spite of that, here I am!" He yelled in frustration. "Here I am trying to make sense of stuff I haven't felt since I was mortal, and we both know it is pointless! Or at least," he eyed her horn and wings, "you will know in a couple of millenia. Give or take."
"The reason you're so frustrated is the fact you have it wrong from the start - the fundamental difference that makes emotions difficult to coherently put into words, unlike just about anything else, is the fact emotions belong to living, intelligent beings. Life hasn't been called a mystery since the early days of the world for nothing. It simply is! And it's out job to make sense out of it on our own. Including but not limited to, love."
The way she effortlessly answered his speech in such an elegant manner confused him. She could have at least acted as if she was caught off guard with such a view of his, he bitterly thought.
"Since when are you so full of wisdom?"
"You'd be surprised how many ponies share your, if only similar, point of view. The couples I help are often frustrated upon realizing love isn't always a fairy tale affair."
"I figured your job was to force ponies into relationships rather than couple counseling."
"F-Force them?" To say she was aghast would be an understatement but the Princess managed to hold her composure. For a little bit. "That is just about the worst possible way you could have put it!" She couldn't help saying.
"Oh, indeed?" Stuck between the glee of discovering what button of hers he could press, being all too defensive, and at the same time not-anymore-sure why he was here, the Spirit seemed agitated as he turned the conversation to her. "Is there something more to you than playing matchmaker? I would love to see it! Tartarus, I'd love to feel it!"
Perhaps he meant it. Maybe he was just trying to get a rise out of her. In fact, Cadance figured, he was probably just being a dumb old bag of rotten carrots like he usually was when thing didn't go as he imagined. Whatever the case was Casance smiled. The warmth of her smile was invasive, and Discord recoiled, suddenly realizing what he had said.
"I didn't mean that."
"And yet, so it will be."
Her horn glowed. Hearts of pink filled the room, the magical light engulfing him.
Author's Note
This one took a while.
Thank you for reading.
Learning ABCs - Aristocracy, Bureaucracy, Chaos
Twilight Sparkle did not feel particularly well.
It wasn't to say that she didn't appreciate a chance to prove herself. Here she was, part of the royalty, learning things she never even hoped she would, sitting right in the middle of an important meeting with Princess Celestia, stuck discussing the measures of precaution they should install, by Tartarus --- at the borders of their couches, uh kingdoms... with the representatives of flying tables... from... what?
Twilight Sparkle nearly fell asleep, and it was only by sheer luck that not even Princess Celestia noticed.
She snuck a peek at the big clock to their right, and was mortified to realize that the two hour conversation they were planning on approximately having lasted in fact only twenty minutes. So far. Did that clock hand just move backwards?
If there was ever a time she would go insane, she figured, it would be during this meeting.
Again, Twilight Sparkle reminded herself that this was a precious opportunity to learn. And it was! She just didn't expect it to come in a such a... non-exciting form. The old pegasus across the table held on to the topic of the ways and means of checking if anymore ponies are bringing in parasprites across the border, because apparently having a few as pets was a new fad. It was a problem to be sure but the young Princess couldn't wrap her head around the fact that this pony had not only found but even expressed all the ways to vocalize such an issue in a fifteen-minute monologue. Clearly, she bitterly realized, her own vocabulary, or at least the use of it, could use more practice.
When Princess Celestia's voice rang across the table, she welcomed it as much as she would any miracle. "All shall be arranged in due time. But right now, I think we'll all have a well deserved break. We've come quite far, don't you agree? Surely you haven't visited from afar without planning on a small tour around Canterlot?"
The elderly pony's mouth opened and closed in surprised silence, and he seemed to be burning with the desire to speak for a whole while lot, yet his younger companion, an Earth pony, nodded fervently in Celestia's direction before he remembered to squeak out an agreement, and gently but firmly prompted the elder away from the table. The meeting was to be continued in the evening during dinner.
The moment the Princesses separated from the two, and the door behind them closed, Celestia let out a breath that sounded as if it came from a living mountain, and her eyes fell. For a second, Twilight believed she was sick.
"I do not feel well." Celestia confirmed her belief, and the Alicorn gasped in alarm.
"Princess Celestia! Do you need to-"
"I just need some fresh air and possibly a lemonade."
One walk across the balcony and two pitchers of refreshing drinks later, Celestia was able to grace Twilight with her usual, calm and smiling self.
"Thank you, my student."
"Are you alright, Princess? I don't think I've ever seen you like this before."
Celestia opened and closed her mouth, quiet for a mere moment before replying: "It's truly nothing serious. There are simply days when one feels... a bit overwhelmed."
Twilight said nothing. She found it hard to believe Celestia could be overwhelmed by sheer boredom, yet the look on her face, and the unusual silence said exactly that. Though she suspected there might be something more at hoof, she decided it was best not to pry.
"It is nothing." Twilight heard her say, and looked up - only to find an expression just as worried as her own. "Surely you're beginning to understand to difficulties of being in a position of royalty. For all the glitz and glam it encompasses, it can be quite stressful." She paused. "Which is admittedly what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm more concerned about how my favorite student is handling all of these obligations. "
Twilight bit the inside of her cheek. To tell the pony who has for the majority of her life not only been a mentor but felt like a second mother to her, that she suffered an astounding case of not being engrossed with a topic that was one day to be her obligation, was out of the question. The young Princess decided again, it would be for the best not to add to the stress.
"It is nothing." She echoed Celestia's exact reply, without truly noticing she did, and for a moment again, all was quiet.
"Very well, then. Make sure you rest before evening."
Twilight figured that the older Princess had a very good guess as to what Twilight had on her mind, and was appreciative of her nto mentioning it. There would be an opportunity to discuss such matters some other time, and perhaps, in a lighter mood. She could tell there was more on Celestia's mind just as she was sure the Princess could notice there was more on her own.
So instead of trying to put on a needlessly brave face, she decided to return to her room and relax until evening, let her mind wander and perhaps have some good old fashioned fun. The Spirit was sure to pop up sometime soon anyway, and she figured if there was ever a time to enjoy his chaotic nature, it was right now.
Her chambers were empty on her arrival which, granted, stung a bit. Though their former conversation about a surprise party was but a banter, she had kind of hoped there would be something there to replace it. As she stood in the quiet room, with nothing but the sound of a clock-ticking and birds in the distance breaking the silence, she had realized nothing would happen, and allowed herself a saddened smile.
"Oh well. It's not like we actually discussed him waiting here for m-"
"SURPRISE !"
Confetti confettied and the next thing she knew, all Twilight Sparkle could see were balloons. Streamers wrapped like snakes around her body, confetti filled her ears so much she could hear their shuffling sounds, the bouncing of the balloons seemed to echo endlessly around the room, and the noise of something akin to royal horns filled her ears and when her vision finally cleared, all the 'surprise' junk that covered both her and the room slithered back into Discord's paw, and turned into a...
"... Newspaper?"
"I told you I'd have a surprise, didn't I?"
"Uh, thanks, I suppose." Twilight said grinning, not understanding but fully appreciating the Spirit's weird ways, her heart somewhat fluttered by the gesture... whatever the meaning behind those newspaper.
"It's a really special edition, for a really special pony." The Spirit continued, grinning... and grinning and grinning, a grin so wide Twilight started having difficulties believing it was Discord before her. It was the kind of smile the likes of Pinkie Pie had whenever she had something exceedingly exciting to tell to someone but had to wait for five more minutes before she could.
"Discord, are you... alright?"
"Read it. Readit, readit, readit." He encouraged with a bit too much vigor through the toothy grin. At this point, the young princess grew concerned. For an excellent reason as well, for as she slowly rolled open the newspaper, it revealed two concerning things.
It revealed that this print specifically had literally every and any picture of its original content replaced with some sort of image of hers - images of all kinds, some of which she couldn't place. Photos of herself she knew and recognized, but also photographs unknown or never taken with her knowledge, also pieces of art of various styles depicting her, also what seemed to be childrens' drawings, also actual, moving, breathing images.
As if not already horror-struck with this revelation, wondering what in the world happened that somepony decided to dedicate an entire issue to her, the true meaning of it all was revealed when Twilight Sparkle finally noticed the front page... and the rest of the text. All of the text. Every single typed letter that had been there before, whatever might it have said, had been replaced with a single phrase, a phrase that stared at her in giant, black, bold lettering from the front page, right above a flattering picture of her. A certain three-word phrase she had never expected to read or hear from the Spirit of Chaos, and that might as wall have been yelling back at her, ringing in her ears as if said by all the ponies and creatures in the world.
Silence. The sounds of birds and clocks were disturbed. There were noises from outside. Twilight's eyes, as if instinctively, darted over to the window and there was a rain- no, not rain. Something fell, once, in masses, all over Canterlot. The Princess rushed over to the window. The guards at the entrance curiously nudged and opened the special editions of Canterlot Daily that, Twilight assumed with a clench that grasped at her entire soul, was the same one she looked at a moment ago. The ones with nothing but her face, and those three words.
She turned to the Spirit. He seemed happy but not in the way she liked.
"Discord, what have you done?"
"They made a bad issue on you, so I made a GOOD issue on you! Perfect issue, if I do say so myself!"
Before he could say another word, as panic rose in her chest, Twilight transported herself right in the very heart of the Canterlot, and in front of the the den which spawned the catastrophe - the Canterlot Daily Building.
As she marched inside, she paid no attention to her surroundings, which in hindsight wasn't her best impulsive idea, because then she would notice ponies slowly waking up and raising from there place on the floor where they seemed to have fallen. There was no pony to be seen and for a little while, Twilight Sparkle stood there trying to think, which seemed impossible as her mind felt as if it was imploding, before finally, a trembling Earth mare peeked from behind the counter, alarmed and confused. Twilight marched up to her.
"What in Tartarus is going on?" She asked the young mare, patience all but gone a she slapped the copy of 'Twilight Daily' on the desk. The mare gaped, stuttered, and said:
"This is not ours."
"Excuse me?"
"I mean, it-it clearly is but, but--" She trailed off for a moment, "we had no part in--," she turned to another mare that had appeared around the corner and ran up to them, a tall Pegasus , "Turning, what time is it? How long--"
"Four minutes. Whoever did this, they were in and out in less than four minutes. Who knows what they did if they could do so much in so little time." The Pegasus seemed to be more aware of the trouble, and more firm in the face of it. She flapped her wings impatiently, then briskly said: "Make sure there is no further damage. See if anypony needs med attention. Check if the press is still going, contact them and stop EVERYTHING before we figure this out."
As the younger mare trotted off, Turning looked over to Twilight and, as if only then realizing the Royalty was before her, bowed her head. Unlike most other of her subjects, however, this one left little room for pleasantries, much to the Princess' relief.
"Your Highness. Please forgive us this mess. There has been an intruder."
Twilight was quiet.
"All the today's issues were not only stolen and scattered but changed, as you noticed..." She trailed off, cleared her throat. "Please stay here for your own safety, Princess. There are lots of weird folks out there, and whoever did this is clearly not only powerful but very deranged."
Yeah, I'm starting to think he might be.
"You mentioned five minutes? How do you-"
"It's how long we were out."
"'Out'? As in-"
"Unconscious. I don't know - or remember, more accurately - how it happened but we managed to get the last known time before it started."
Questions span and turned in Twilight's head, possible answers practically falling over each other in her attempt to make sense of any of this, when in charged a force of ponies, armored to the bone and armed to the teeth. The Canterlot force surrounded them.
"Your highness?" One of them called, confused.
"Present." Twilight deadpanned, any and all sign of her royal behavior gone.
"What are you doing here? You are supposed to be somewhere in a safe-"
"She was here when we woke up." A voice threw in, and a bunch of ponies that have thus far only been coming to, and listening in to the conversations, suddenly intervened.
"She was right here just... standing."
"Just looking at it all."
"She didn't do anything to help?"
Twilight's heart sank. She could feel the doubt falling over everypony in the room. Turning stepped beck, her own wings suddenly spread in alarm.
"N-No, you got it all wrong! I came here to-"
"Your highness, for your own and everypony else's safety, you need to come with us."
"... You have got to be kidding me."
"Your highness, we implore you. It is but a procedure, we assure you everything will be alright."
There was a certain sincerity in the guard pony's voice but something else as well - these ponies were now afraid. Not wanting to do anything else to give them a reason to think she might harm anypony, Twilight calmed down. "Alright. It's alright. I'm coming with you."
Of course everything would be alright, she realized as she turned to leave the building of Canterlot Daily with as much dignity as she could with all the ponies around her. After all, she started realizing, she was a Princess, not just a random weirdo, bursting into this place for nothing! Soon, this would would be over and everything would be allri-
Discord appeared with a flash, and with his coming, again fell every single pony in the room, sleeping soundly.
"Are you freakin' kidding me."
"Why, I can't let them take you away!" The Spirit merrily said. She noticed with some disdain his pupils were heart shaped.
"Discord, what in the world is going on with you?! What the Hay made you think this was in any way, shape or form a good idea?!"
"... What exactly are you referring to?" He asked with sincere innocence, nothing but affection in his heart-stricken eyes.
As she did many times before, Twilight groaned, and groaning would be all she would keep doing next to ignorant , enchanted, love-struck Spirit if in didn't come Cadance of all ponies, and produced just about guiltiest of expressions that was the last piece of the puzzle in the by now huge scheme Twilight had laid out in her head and everything suddenly sat in its place.
"... YOU! It was all you ! Cadance, wh-"
"Discord, sleep." Cadance commanded.
And with a single spell, he curled up, mumbling out Twilight's name as he did, right there on the floor.
Twilight gaped. And gaped. And gaped. The room was silent, nothing but the sound of breathing and snoring all around them.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Twilight." Cadance started. "It had gone... completely out of control. I think I didn't take the fact he was very, very... very powerful into account, and more importantly, that he would put it to use." She sighed. "I'm sorry you had to find out about his feelings in such a way but if it's any consolation," she smiled weakly, "no pony I know had ever went to such length to prove their love." She sighed, adding teasingly: "At least we can take consolation in the fact he didn't let anypony know he was behind it."
"How-- why-- when--" Then the most horrifying fact settled in. "Wait, you KNEW ?!"
"He accidentally made it-- wait." Cadance frowned. "You knew before I did?"
"We-" Twilight stopped. And blushed.
"... Oh." Cadance said. Her eyes, much to Twilight's horror, rounded in realization. "Oh. "
"Oh, NO !" Twilight squeaked and her wings flew forward to hide her blushing face. Cadance couldn't help an incredulous smile.
"Twilight, you--"
"I never wanted anypony to find out this way! Well, admittedly, at all," she blurted out, "but it's just so weird and I'm still getting used to it myself and there are so many things I simply don't know and being a Princess is just not a plus I expected to have in life at this point Cadance," she rambled on, her blush even more evident as she started pacing back and forth, "and with so many pluses, who am I to complain about the fact that not only am I a Princess but also happily partnered with somepony for once in my life?! How can I possibly complain, when I'm literally the prime example of the happiest pony in the world!?"
When she finally ended her speech, Cadance was for once left at a loss for words... oddly enough.
"Twilight... you do realize you can tell me anything , right?"
"Not even my friends know, Cadance. My best friends." Twilight sighed. "They just-- they wouldn't understand because... well, because even I don't understand." She was quiet.
Cadance cleared her throat. "Well... I don't want to put myself on a pedestal here Twilight but... you and I, we go a bit more back, don't you think? You should know at this point that you can talk to me about anything. In addition to that, I don't know if you noticed but... I'm kind of the Princess of Love." She teased, and Twilight finally let out a small chuckle.
"... Maybe I should have taken that into account." Twilight smiled meekly.
"Looks like we both made some mistakes." Cadance smiled back, and the two shared a sisterly hug. "Also, being a Princess... was never a breeze. I think you should let Celestia know it's not a fun studying project for you. Being a Princess is a job, as incredible as that might seem."
"I've learned that one the hard way."
Cadance smiled. "We all did, little sis." She sighed. "Now, you stay here and get, uh, arrested properly with this guy - I'm sure you can come up with an excuse with him by your side, and, well, I'm not sure what I would be able to say that's not... compromising," she gave a guilty smile,"you know this secret will stay with me. And if you would accept it... I'll be waiting on a letter, or a visit from you. I feel like we have a lot to talk about considering your, uh... 'happy partnership', as you put it." She grinned.
"We-" Twilight thought back to the day, shook her head and chuckled, "yeah, we definitely do."
"Good." Cadance nuzzled her gently. "Until next time, sis."
And then she was gone.
And everypony woke up.
And Twilight sighed. With a relieved smile.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The door opened, and Shining Armour came up to Twilight, grinning at her from the other side of the bars.
"Getting in trouble again?"
"You know it. April 1st is faraway, yet for me, everyday seems to be one."
"I figured she might like it if I turned her day into a Hearts and Hooves occasion! But she didn't appreciate it much being possibly stalked, looked at from afar and publicly romanced." He made a face. "And they say romance is dead."
"I wonder why." Shining shook his head before addressing Twilight again. "Well, don't worry too much about it. Celestia's advisors were able to largely clean up the mess he made, and aside from us few, no one is any wiser about who the culprit is. Cadance was particularly passionate about helping out, too. Canterlot Daily is a bit sore about it, so you can be sure they'll use this for publicity. Like they do everything."
"Well I'm trying, thank you for noticing!"
He rolled his eyes. "Off you go."
The two left Canterlot both in infamy and fame. They didn't know it yet but Twilgiht and her mysterious fan would be dragged through the news for weeks. Theories would spawn and disappear the day after, and Canterlot Daily would be earning more than enough to cover for whatever mental cost they had to endure, patiently waiting for whatever chaos might come next but eventually, there would come another things to put their focus on, and their little adventure nearly forgotten.
In the light of the day's events, Celestia let Twilight go home, leaving her Royal obligations for some other time, while Twilight left her with a promise of a letter. When the elder Princess saw Discord, she had little to say to him - it would appear she had gotten so used to this sort of thing, that she could do little but to shake his head at him, while he could only playfully shrug his shoulders, as if apologizing about the 'trick'.
The young princess and the Spirit went on their way, soaring through the evening sky, the orange sunset slowly turning into a purple night. She rested on his back, far too tired to fly herself but enjoying the flight, the sight and the company.
"So." She tried to start, only to be completely sidetracked by the instant reply:
"Ah yes! The banana mystery."
"... I'm sorry?"
"When we flew past here this morning, a banana fell on your head. Don't you remember?"
"Oh." Twilight did remember. "My, this day was odd. But hey, don't you distract me!"
"Aw, shucks. You can't blame a fellow for trying."
"You do realize you will have to tell me the whole story?"
"I'm pretty certain there is very little to actually tell."
"Really now?" Twilight sounded annoyed, "after all that we've been through today, you just won't tell me how-"
"I mean, the newspaper had a pretty big bold lettering on it."
Just as much as she couldn't see his embarrassed smile from where she sat on his back, he couldn't see her own.
Author's Note
Happy New Year! I hope y'all had a lovely holiday season.
Learning ABCs - Aristocracy, Bureaucracy, Chaos
1) Too Great Expectations
The Summer Sun Celebration was officially over. Even though it was an event she would never forget, Twilight Sparkle simply wanted to remain in the library and rest. Now that the celebration was done with, she had some time to dedicate herself to her by now dusty books, her tea and the warm comfort of her bed that no silky sheets in Canterlot Castle could provide.
Or, at the very least, she had hoped so.
"You can't stay mad at me forever you know. I know you're familiar with how well I can get under anypony's skin."
Bemused, Twilight noticed a tiny Discord floating through her leg and then popping out of her right hoof, batting the new, ridiculously huge eyelashes at her. Although there was, thankfully, no unusual sensation following his little magic trick, she was annoyed by it and a slightly little bit disturbed. She swung her hoof as hard as she could and heard him crashing into the wardrobe as he slipped out of her leg. Alright, that was amusing.
"Well, that's one way to tell me you're still upset with me."
Putting on a poker face any professional gambler would be envious of Twilight sipped her tea and turned another page of the book, concentrating as hard as possible on the read. It wasn't so hard actually. Not while she was as upset with Discord as now - ignoring him was something she gladly did. If there was one thing she knew that agitated him, it was being ignored.
There was an audible sigh and a popping sound that clearly indicated he did something . She couldn't know what that something was, but it was something magical and very likely that something should have brought a reaction out of her. Alas, she never looked at the source of the noise. Another magical "pop" indicated he gave up.
There was another, defeated sigh and Twilight Sparkle knew the draconequus was getting, if even a bit, anxious.
"Twilight Sparkle, my dearest Princess, what more could you ask of this poor draconequus? Shall thou truly leave my heart to wilt without your fancy?"
No reply. The fact she didn't even look at him only meant she wouldn't see the most fabulous Victorian outfit he put on for the sake of his poetic words. Discord pouted and, she couldn't explain it, but she could feel him doing so. It was almost as if his pouts and frowns sent frequencies through the air. She knew for certain that he made that face; he was waiting for her to turn around, slightly angered by the silent treatment. Deciding she will otherwise never get her desired relaxation, she finally looked him in the eyes, though largely indifferent. That face immediately changed into a sly smile and he clicked the silly outfit away.
"Much better! Now how about we bury the hatchet, huh?" He produced a shovel and started digging through the floor, sinking into the hole. Seconds later,he dug up through her bed, giving her a big toothy smile as he threw a summoned hatchet into the hole. Her bed, that she desperately wanted to simply rest in, was now largely a pile of dug up remains. Either he knew how much she disliked the mess or he noticed the glare on her face, but he dispelled his magic moments after, producing big apologetic but teasing grin as the bed molded back into its original shape.
"I still can't believe you let us all waste our precious time on something you could've resolved in seconds!" She finally said bitterly. The draconequus rolled his eyes.
"It was but a sign of courtesy."
"Courtesy? My friends could have been seriously hurt!"
"Bravo, bravo, such an unselfish act of concern." The draconequus rolled his eyes. For that display of disinterest in safety precautions, he earned a strong kick in the flank and clumsily slipped off the bed.
"Ouch. Now you see, that was unnecessary. Unlike all the secrecy about my plunder seeds; it only taught you a valuable lesson of princesshood."
Twilight groaned in frustration. Then she did a self-help thing she did so many times before; breathed in deeply, preparing to lay out all of her inner frustrations in a rambling speech:
"You just don't understand! Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have made it clear how important it is for me to grasp the knowledge of what it means to be a princess! I cannot waste a single minute of my time doing things I shouldn't be doing in the first place, especially if they are your fault - and if you're wondering why, it is because things that do turn out to be your fault shouldn't even be , let alone develop into what they developed the last time! I cannot go chasing after your unfinished business, especially the unfinished business of such evil nature!" At this point, her speech became devoid of air - she paused merely to breathe in loudly, then proceeded to bring a conclusion:
"And that , Discord, is why you should've helped us with more sufficient aid than letting us head straight into the dangers of the Everfree Forest. But I guess that by now, that issue might be put aside as a thing of the past and I don't want to deal with it anymore. So please, just keep in mind what I said and everything is going to be just fine."
For a moment, Twilight lived in a blissful ignorance, convinced she has made an impact on the chaotic mind of the draconequus. But only for a moment.
"Did you know that when you're upset your wings start flapping around?"
Twilight gave her wings a quick glance. They were outstretched and moving in weird motion, half looking like she was trying to fly... and half like they were just bouncing around without control. Trying to make it look as subtle as possible, she carefully but forcefully tried to fold her wings with her hoof. Subtlety wasn't working so she started outright struggling with her new feathery appendages. It must've looked incredibly funny, because the Spirit couldn't stop snickering.
"Ugh, again ?" Twilight mumbled and, as always, gave up. Then, as if by magic, her wings folded themselves without her even trying to. All this time and she still couldn't deduce whether it was done by relaxing, tensing up, working them out to do so, or something entirely different.
"I have no idea how do I do that."
"Oh you know," the Spirit tried to help, "sometimes you just have to... wing it ." He summoned a huge set of drums and played a "ba-dum-ts " to add to the effect of his joke, eyeing her expectantly. But his punny ways were to no avail. The young princess frowned.
"Did you even listen to what I said?"
"I always listen to what you say, dear. I just don't listen to you ." He smirked teasingly.
"Ugh, forget it. Why did I even hope you would care to help me with anything?"
"The magic of friendship, perhaps?"
"That was a rhetorical question."
"Oh." Discord paused, before playfully continuing. "Well, in that case, you'll have to find the answer yourself!"
"Wouldn't be the first time!" Twilight retorted.
"Touché, my dear." The Spirit laughed and stretched his body. "Too bad my "vacation" is over, though. I can not say I didn't enjoy the temporal disarray. Now it's back to the grind."
"You don't even work." Twilight dead panned. Unexpectedly, the expression of the mismatched Spirit suddenly fell.
"And what a double-edged sword that turned out to be." Discord noticed a bit bitterly as a giant claymore protruded his chest before falling apart into hundreds of tiny gummy-bunnies. If anything, his sense for showmanship was still intact.
To some extent though, he was right. He had seen more world during his idle trips to various parts of Equestria and farther than most ponies ever have. After several quite long months, he has grown tired of travelling and wishful of good old Ponyville and its residents. But in all honesty, while he enjoyed his days here, there was not much he could actually do . Twilight has been thinking of trying to get him to help with her researches but she knew that, in the long run, it wasn't exactly fitting. Not for someone who once ate one of her books. Definitely not.
"I'm sure Princess Celestia would gladly-"
"I don't think it'll happen, dear," the draconequus cut her off, stuffing his face with gummy-bunnies, "Celly knows way too much of the old chaotic me to trust me with anything she does."
"You must be over reacting." Twilight remained stubborn and gave him a reassuring smile. "I'll speak with her about that as soon as I can. I promise." She crossed her chest with her hoof in attempt to make an abridged "Pinkie swear".
"That's quite lovely of you dear." The Spirit sincerely said. "Gummy-bunny?" He offered.
Twilight eyed the candy hesitantly. The tiny gummy-bunny shined rather colorfully even under the dimmed light and looked quite tasty. "No, thanks." She finally decided. "I just brushed my teeth."
"Hmpf. You're no fun." The rest of the gummy-bunnies soon disappeared in the depths of his stomach. "I see that you can't wait to sleep so I'll leave you to it. If you should need anyone to cuddle with in the middle of the night, you know where I am."
It was long since he made her blush the way he just did.
"Very funny." She chuckled a bit nervously. "Good night, Discord."
"Good night, Princess." The draconequus ruffled her mane as much as possible before swiftly flying out the window - probably to find Rainbow Dash and race with her. It has become quite an often occurrence in the evening.
Twilight sighed and finally put the book away. The draconequus distracted her to the point where even reading seemed like a task.
A sound from the first floor indicated Spike has returned from his visit to Rarity - those visits became suspiciously frequent and at times when she allowed herself not to be utterly rational, Twilight wondered if Rarity had started seeing something in the dragon despite his young age.
"I'm home!"
"Up here, Spike!" Twilight called.
Spike trotted up the stairs. There was a bounce in his step Twilight easily recognized - plus it was matched with a blissful face expression. His time at Rarity's, whatever it was that he had been doing there, had been as productive and wonderful as ever.
"Had a nice time, I presume?" She asked with a snicker. Spike nodded, waddled over to his basket and flopped into it. Twilight barely managed not to laugh at the funny but downright adorable sounds the dragon was making in an attempt to stop himself from outright bursting with joy - half squeals and half giggles. Rarity probably gave him another kiss on the cheek or something similar.
"I'm hopeless." Spike finally admitted through a snicker. The lavender unicorn rolled her eyes.
"You're just a baby dragon, silly, of course you'd be." She teased. "Don't forget to brush your teeth. I'll be back soon to tuck you in."
"I don't need to be tucked in! I'm not that young, you know."
"That may be true," Twilight accepted, "but that still doesn't mean you don't like it when I do so."
The baby dragon blushed and glanced sideways. There was a muffled response she couldn't quite identify and she proceeded down the stairs, taking the teacup to the sink.
But the more she thought about how disgustingly cute Spike looked when he acted this way, the more she found herself reminiscing her relationship with a certain mismatched Spirit.
It was not like she wasn't happy. Discord was still Discord, he was still cherishing her as much as she cherished him and as far as she was concerned, everything between them was just fine from the first day they noticed they weren’t just friends anymore. Yet, there was something missing and Twilight couldn't for the life of her put a hoof to it. She told herself a gazillion times she would speak to Discord about it, yet she felt silly - everything was fine, ergo, there was nothing to discuss, she figured.
So why did she get the feeling that Spike, who was biologically still a baby dragon and didn't happen to have a secretive relationship with anypony, let alone the Lord of Chaos, felt more enamored than herself? Perhaps it was a mare thing, but it was hard to say as she never really had liked anypony to this degree. She would need somepony to give her an advice. An expert. Someone who knew everything and anything about relationships, hormones, love and other things she didn't have a clue about. And she knew just the pony.
Or ponies, that is.
"I'm sure I have a few books on the subject somewhere around here. If anypony can help me, it's gotta be all those authors." Twilight concluded contently, going up to bed. She better get a good night's sleep, she figured. Her library probably has so many nice self-help books about relationships and she was determined to read them all.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Not a single self-help book was found. This brought Twilight to conclusion that either her library was poorer than she thought or the self-help books were not the proper kind of material to occupy shelves right next to the "Theory of Continuum Q" and "Quantum Murphydynamics" - after all, self help books, now that she thought of it, were notoriously lame, all the same and more than often empty, with the instruction to the reader to write their thoughts and emotions in it - if that weren't a brilliant marketing idea, Twilight didn't know what was. Silly book or not though, she needed one to at least put her on the right track and her library failed to provide her with one. It wasn't often that her library failed her. She would need to order a new batch of books soon.
Still, finding herself with no book to help her out with this problem meant she would actually need the help of an actual pony - which was something she could never even consider. Now that she was a Princess, news of her unusual relationship would probably shake up citizens of Equestria - plus, who knew what would Princess Celestia and Luna say? For now, being secretive was for the best. Seeing as there was only one other person who knew of this secret, she figured she might as well ask Discord about this peculiar feeling - being a thousand years old draconequus has got to have given him some kind of knowledge.
Just then she heard an audible familiar burp and saw Spike rushing towards her. It had barely been a day since he Summer Sun Celebration, so she was genuinely curious as to what the letter might be about.
"Thank you, Spike." Using her horn, she uncurled the parchment and read:
My dearest student,
I write to you to inform you of the new studies you'll have to participate in as a newly crowned Princess. Seeing as you aren't a part of the Royal family, there is a lot for you to learn not only as a Princess, but as a politician, counselor, economist and much more. I have no doubts that you will fail to disappoint me in properly fulfilling the many duties appointed to you.
Of course, I am aware of the fact you have to work your search for information of the recently located chest, which I would hate to get in the way of. As such, we'll occasionally be having you over to learn and grow, both as a student and as a public person in the eyes of your subordinates.
Your first lesson will start in two days time. We'll be having a special guest over, so be ready.
Yours truly,
Princess Celestia.
"Another visit?" Spike frowned. "Look like it'll be a lot of traveling for you this year, huh."
"Looks so. I'll manage. Now that I'm a Princess, there should be no duty I'm allowed to find too hard - whatever it is, I'll give it my best."
"That's the spirit!" Spike chirped. "Don't worry Twilight, if anypony can juggle too much work, it is definitely you."
Twilight smiled meekly, slightly nervous, yet, a little bit excited. There was much work to attend to - not only her duties, but her personal life. Not only Discord, but her friends and her further study of friendship. Not to mention the Tree of Harmony...
"The Tree of Harmony!" Twilight nearly forgot about the mysterious tree. "I better get to work. I need to see if I can find anything at all about that chest in my books. Or the six keys." She scanned the books with an expectant gaze.
"I'm sure I'll find something."
And so, as she always did, Twilight immersed herself into her books, searching, researching and questioning, not aware of the fun, slightly scary night of hide-and-seek she and her six friends will have in the old castle of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna only a day later... and even less aware of the dangers that lurked within.
Author's Note
First chapter. No editor. Hopefully improved English. Enjoy.
Learning ABCs - Aristocracy, Bureaucracy, Chaos
"Spike, I don't think this was such a good idea." Twilight carefully eyed the long distance between her balcony and the ground, feeling uneasy. She was still not used to heights, not even with all the flying she already did. Her eyes glanced and settled on the distant silhouette of the Canterlot Castle. Somewhere behind her, Discord snickered, enjoying the sight of the startled and nervous mare. Spike shot him a warning glare before speaking up.
"Come on, Twilight. You know you could always use some practice." He encouraged, already having prepared a pile of pillows beneath her balcony. While the extra measure of caution by all means ensured her safety, it still offended the young Princess slightly. She liked to think her flying had improved by now, but as she prepared to lift off into the air, she found out her stomach felt like it was filled with writhing snakes and she backed up.
"I can't do this! Not from the balcony!" She proclaimed. Spike rolled his eyes as his friend tried to leave for what must've been the third time. "It is so much easier to take off from the ground! Perhaps I should consult a book or two before I try this, I know this great essay on-"
"Why, let me help you, dear!“ Discord suddenly scooped her up, with Spike desperately trying to stop him. The Spirit comically whispered ‘anything for my darling’ into her ear and with strength she rarely witnessed before, threw her into the air.
“Discord!!” He kept laughing as he lazily flew below her, observing her fall. Unfortunately for her and luckily for him, she didn't get the control of her wings on time and fell straight into his lap, which he welcomed by ruffling her mane to the point where her careful grooming wasn't so obvious anymore. It was impossible to resist it.
“Great job, dear! Truly, this has been one of the better take offs I've seen from you. Well, if we forget about you falling for me as hard as you did right now.” He added teasingly, making the newly crowned Princess blush.
"That is a completely wrong usage of that idiom!" Twilight protested, getting away from the embarrassing subject with some help of grammar knowledge. The Spirit, noticing her lame attempt to escape the subject of physical contact that she was still so shy about, rolled his eyes and helped her catch the air current. Her wings finally listened to her and she glided downwards effortlessly.
“See? You’re fine!” The Spirit added chuckling. Twilight dead panned, trying to concentrate on flying straight rather than paying Discord any attention he craved so much.
“Perhaps I should've asked Rainbow Dash to escort me to Canterlot.” She replied bitterly. Discord faked a sad expression.
“Now, really my dear? The fact you can’t trust me with helping you get the hang of this is really quite heartbreaking.” There was a sound of breaking glass but no visual gag to accompany it. Instead, his eyes blinked at her innocently. It was one of his facial expressions, funny enough to make her smile.
“Well, I’ll admit it is nice of you to have offered to help me – but I can't say I prefer your lift-off style.”
The Spirit shrugged playfully, fully understanding her sentiment and fully knowing she knew it would be done again at least a few more times at some point in the future. They flew in silence until they reached a proper altitude then continued to effortlessly glide through the sky.
"So what's all this about you being summoned to Canterlot for some important meeting?" Discord finally asked. Not having the chance to do so before, Twilight told him about the contents of the letter she received last night - it was this very morning that he decided to accompany her, which she was largely uncertain of. After all, it was the former Lord of Chaos that would be visiting with her and not everyone in Equestria, or outside of it, has quite come to love him the way the citizens of Ponyville did.
"But don't worry - I'll make sure I catch some time to talk to the Princess about you."
The Spirit looked confused. "Sorry dear, talk about what, exactly?"
Now it was Twilight's turn to glance at him with confusion. "You were bored, remember? I promised to ask Princess Celestia about your, um... let's call it 'employment'."
"Let's not, it sounds far too boring." Discord laughed, but smiled at her genuinely. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I didn't think you'd take me quite that seriously."
"Oh?" Why?
"I guess I'm not used to it, even after all this time." He added, unknowingly answering her question.
They flew on in silence and it then occurred to Twilight they were alone, with quite some time before them. Might as well talk about it now, she figured.
"Uhm, Discord? Can I ask you something a bit weird?“
"Whatever you want." The Spirit confirmed. "What is it, dear?“
Twilight simply didn't know how to ask it without sounding utterly ignorant (which she really didn't want) or like she wasn't happy with what they had going on – so she decided to make it about him.
"Have you ever been in love?“
There was no answer.
"...Discord?“
She turned around and realized he wasn't there anymore. She doubted the question was so complicated that he'd run away, so she slowly made a loop to turn around and stopped, flying on the spot. The Spirit was nowhere to be seen and it confused her. Did he transport himself for some reason? Hit a bird or a Pegasus on his way? They weren't high enough to hit a cloud, that was for certain. She grew a bit worried.
"Discord!“ The young Princess called and then finally heard him reply from below. He looked a bit out of breath as he flew up to her level.
"Where in the world did you go?“ Twilight asked, frowning a bit. The fact she didn't have a clue as to why he lost control of his wings and fell in the first place only shocked him even further.
"Nowhere, my dear. I just lost control in the air current, for a moment. These damn wings, I don’t use them that often.“ He snickered.
"Right...“ Twilight found that highly suspicious, seeing how he flew around with Rainbow Dash fairly regularly these days. Plus, he was the one he helped her learn to fly. They kept flying towards Canterlot, waiting for the reply, but Discord didn't seem too keen on answering her question. At least, so it appeared at first. She was about to question whether he had heard her at all, when he suddenly spoke:
"I can't say I've been, not as genuinely…,” he started, “but I'd say I definitely understand the idea of it.”
I guess that'll do , Twilight thought.
“Well, do you know what it feels like?”
“Cheesy.” Discord replied in his usual slapstick manner, munching on a freshly summoned and exceptionally smelly piece of cheese. Twilight rolled her eyes.
“I’m serious! I want to know.”
“Now, this is getting interesting.” He began, deciding to turn the tables. “For a change, Miss Egghead does not know something. I supposed you don’t have a book you could read to study the topic.” He joked.
“Not in my library, there isn’t.” Twilight replied, all too seriously. Discord had to sustain laughter with great effort, finding out she actually tried looking for such a book. The newly discovered level of ignorance Twilight Sparkle had about the topic of romantic emotions was simply too entertaining.
“You'll know it, when you feel it.” He finally said.
“It’s not like I haven’t got a clue!” The alicorn protested, shaking her head – but her answer drew a small ‘ooh’ from the draconequus and she knew that sound well – it was the sound he made whenever he found something new to "play "with. Having a bad feeling it might be her he wanted to play a game with, she wanted to avoid it by once again trying to make it about him.
“I guess you were the wrong pony to ask.” She claimed, hoping to wound his pride and therefore, stir the conversation away from herself. But the Spirit, naturally, was now much more interested in her sudden curiosity.
“What I’m wondering,” he began cunningly, “is why are you even asking.”
“Just because.” Twilight replied almost stupidly, mentally banging her head against a wall.
"I think you know as well as I that such an answer won't do."
"My, how insightful you are." Twilight fell silent, looking for the right words. She could feel the Spirit's eyes fixated on her, expecting some sort of explanation. "I've simply been thinking about... well, about... oh by Celestia, this is just... about us."
It was the first time she addressed their relationship and even labeled it as 'us ', as a sort of unity between two persons; both her and the Spirit found it weird and surprising on many levels. It was in that moment that Twilight realized nothing ever changed since the moment she planted that unbelievable smooch on his nuzzle - but it wasn't the lack of change that bothered her, but the questions it raised. Was it alright, nothing to change? Was it supposed to? What were his thoughts about it? They never spoke of it, because as far as she was concerned, words weren't really necessary. Was she doing something wrong? Did she lack knowledge? Was it like this among everypony?
"About 'us '." Discord repeated. Twilight dared to look at him and she realized he had an awful lot of fun, grinning widely, with a familiar, devilish spark in his eyes, which wasn't surprising at all. But his intonation was much too teasing and she found herself blushing like a school filly, which she had entirely enough of. For goodness' sake, she was a grown mare! And a Princess, at that!
"Yes, about us ." Discord's devious smile only made her feel arrogant and daring and as her arrogance woke up, her nerves and heart grew stronger. She decided to be straight with him and took a breath of air. "I'm wondering how healthy our relationship is, if at all, and just how do you define one. I'm also feeling like we're doing something wrong or like something is missing, even though everything has never been nicer between us - we get along, we talk, we don't bore the wits out of each other - I just don't see if there really is a problem, or if maybe I'm just making one." She paused to let him comment if he needed to and looked at him curiously.
"Interesting." It was his only comment. Mysterious as always.
"... Sooo, what do you-"
"I think I know what your problem is."
"Oh!" Twilight smiled widely, happy to hear he had a solution to her problem. She knew she wasn't saying all of that in vain! Someone with thousand years of life must have an idea on what was going on with her. "So, what is it?"
But the Spirit didn't reply. Instead, he did the one thing she never thought he would.
He hugged her.
It wasn't even a cute, heartwarming hug, she would often share with her friends. It was a fully developed, skillful, experienced, masterful love embrace that made her whole physical self enjoy, but her mind exploded into an angry mush the moment she realized what he was doing. His entire arms around her, her face close to hears, the way her neck sank into his and the way her whole body was kept warm by his hands. The heat on her face, this time she knew, was a mixture of both embarrassment and the mysterious anger, fury even, that came over her.
She watched him stare at her, giving her the most devilish grin he could produce. It all culminated when he whispered to her, in the most teasing way possible:
"You obviously need some lovin' ."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Twilight, my dear student!" Celestia welcomed the freshly crowned Princess as she descended before the gates of the Canterlot Castle by giving her an affectionate nuzzle, as she always did. "I hope you travelled peacefully."
"Actually, Princess Celestia, I was flying all the way to Canterlot. Never enough practice, you know." Twilight said with a proud smile. Celestia's eyes grew wide with both admiration and mild concern.
"Oh, well I certainly hope somepony else accompanied you. I know you're not yet entirely used to your new abilities."
"Yes, Discord helped me with my flying. He watched over me." Her student confirmed.
Celestia's smile grew even wider. "I'm glad to hear you two are still getting along." She looked around. "Where is our chaotic friend, anyway? If he's here, I would love to have a little talk with him about the mess he created a few days ago." Celestia shook her head. "Can't just let him go without a proper scolding, now can I?" She snickered almost sweetly. Was it not for the circumstance, Twilight would join in.
"...Actually, he's wandered off a bit to have fun with his magic. You know him. Chaotic, random and all, heh-heh." Twilight said, sounding a bit nervous. Celestia either didn't notice or didn't pay much attention to it.
"Let's just hope he doesn't cause anypony trouble," Celestia sighed, "I'm certain you are by now well acquainted with his mischief."
"I wouldn't worry about that too much." Twilight enigmatically concluded as both her and Celestia entered the castle. He probably won't be capable of it for quite some time.
Meanwhile, several dozens of miles away from the capital of Equestria, a certain draconequus finally made his way out of the extremely and impressively deep hole in the ground, shaped exactly like himself. His eyes span a bit before he shook his head and gave the Castle of Canterlot that shimmered in the distance under the afternoon sun, a long hard stare.
"Dear me, looks like my Princess got even stronger since she became part of royalty, and even more arrogant - didn't think that was possible." He joked silently with himself, patting the dust off his fur. He gave the city of Canterlot another long, hard look, knowing his Princess was there, waiting for his turn. She just played hers - and while it wasn't a bad one, it was a very silly one, he figured. It's been a long time since he played a game. Boy, did he love games.
He grinned widely to himself.
"Looks like a night visit is in order."
Author's Note
Right away, this is an E rated story. Just to make it clear.
