Pinkie Pie is Viciously Assaulted in a Park
Pinkie thought the stars were particularly bright that night. The air was cool, and the darkness calming, just the way Pinkie liked it. She walked slowly through the ponyville park. Her usual bounce was replaced by a slow cadence. Despite her usual appearance, Pinkie was not a pony of infinite energy. Once she had spent almost an entire day partying, even her deepest reserves were at an end. It was times like these that she chose for her night walks through the park. After a day of fun, she liked to have a bit of time to relax.
Ever since Granny Pie had taught her to giggle at the ghostie, she had found it silly how ponies feared the night and darkness. They acted as though the darkness was somehow alive, something malicious that wanted to harm them. She giggled at the idea of it. Darkness was just the absence of light. It was nothingness. She knew full well that nothingness couldn’t hurt anypony, only the things that might dwell inside.
As she walked down the trail, three ponies appeared from over a hill, a unicorn, pegasus, and earth pony. They smiled at each other, and approached Pinkie Pie. The Pegasus spoke first, carrying an eerie grin.
“How ya’ doin lady?”
Pinkie Pie was a bit confused, but responded as friendly as ever. “Oh, I’m great! I’m just taking a walk out here. It’s so pretty at night don’t you think?” One of the ponies laughed quietly. The pegasus spoke again.
“Oh, it’s beautiful alright. Almost as beautiful as those saddlebags you’ve got on.” The unicorn levitated out a piece of lead pipe from his bag. “I think maybe you should give them to us.”
“I”m glad you like them! I’d love to give them to you, but I’ve got stuff in here I’ll need later, and all my bits are in here as well! Sorry!” Pinkie Pie again responded with a smile.
The pegasus raised an eyebrow. “Look lady, I don’t think you understand. Give us everything you’ve got right now, or we’ll take it from ya.” He looked quite serious now. The unicorn brandishing the lead pipe stepped forward. “You wouldn’t want to get hurt now would ya’?” Pinkie Pie simply looked at him quizzically.
“Do you really like my saddlebags that much? I mean I’m flattered but, can’t you just buy your own? They’re really not that expensive. I’ll show you where you can buy them if you want!”
The pegasus at this point was starting to look frustrated. “Alright look. I’m done playing around. You have ten seconds to give us everything you got, or we’re gonna have to get ugly.” Pinkie Pie laughed out loud.
“Why would you try to make yourselves ugly? I think you all look great! Are you guys into that sort of thing? I guess I shouldn’t laugh then, it’s really not my place to judge.”
Nopony looked amused. “Forget it, I’m done with this shit. Bash her head in.”
The Unicorn replied “You got it boss.”
The unicorn galloped straight over to Pinkie. Using his running speed as initial momentum, he swung right at Pinkie’s head with all his might. He felt the bar make contact. He didn’t realize until he opened his eyes though, that he had made contact with the ground. The unicorn was stunned. “W-where the hell did she go?”
A voice came from right next to him “I’m right here silly!” The unicorn shrieked, nearly falling over from surprise. “You should be more careful with that pipe! If you swing it around like that, you might accidentally hurt somepony!”
The unicorn growled furiously. “I’ve had enough of your games you damn bitch! Give us all your bits or I swear I’ll kill you!”
Pinkie Pie gasped loudly. “A GAME? Oh boy I love games! What do you guys wanna play? It’s too dark for hide and seek, and we can’t play video games outside. Oh I know! Let’s play tag!”
“What the h- AGH” Pinkie Pie’s hoof slammed into the unicorn’s side in the blink of an eye.
“Tag, you’re it!” He slumped to the ground. All the other ponies stared wide-eyed. This pink pony had just taken down their friend Stone with a single punch. Pinkie looked at the felled pony with disappointment. “Huh, I guess he isn’t very good at tag then... oh well! do you guys wanna play?” They looked at each other nervously. The pegasus turned to the earth pony.
“G-get up there! Kick her ass! Kill her if ya have to!”
“You got it boss!” Immediately the earth pony began to sprint towards Pinky Pie. He threw a punch straight for her face. Pinky Pie, without even flinching, parried the strike, and all the subsequent ones that came after.
“Well geeze, if you had wanted to be it, you could have just said so!” said Pinkie nonchalantly. The earth pony snarled and continued trying to punch her. Pinkie dodged every strike, smiling gleefully all the while. Suddenly, she seemed to stop in her tracks. She wore a look of realization.
“WAIT HOLD ON EVERYPONY!” The assailing earth pony paused.
Pinkie looked for a moment. “Are you guys... trying... to hurt me?”
All of the thugs, even the downed unicorn, collectively facehoofed.
“Y-... yes lady. We are going to hurt you if you do not give us your stuff. How was this not obvious?” The pegasus sounded extremely frustrated at this point.
“Well that changes everything!” Pinkie Pie said with a wide smile. The earth pony threw another punch, which Pinkie Pie effortlessly dodged, and caught in her hoof. The thug braced himself for a counter-attack, but it didn’t seem to come. He looked up from his guard. Pinkie was gone. Where the hell did she OH SWEET CELEST-
Smack
The unfortunate pony’s pondering was interrupted by a swift kick to the head by a pink pair of hooves. The thug dropped to the ground, entirely unconscious. The remaining pony’s jaw dropped straight to the floor. Pinkie just kept smiling at him.
“You sure you want to keep coming at me? I mean you are the only one left now. That seems pretty silly to me!”
The thug looked completely unsure of what to do, and more than a little bit scared. He retrieved something from his saddlebags, and pointed it and Pinkie. It was a firearm.
"Y-You think you can just rip through my boys like it's nothing? Let's see how you like this!" He fired the gun, right at pinkie's face. She didn't even blink.
Bronze wing didn't dare look at what he had just done. He had bought the gun for self defense. He had never planned to kill anypony, just keep himself out of trouble. He would never forgive himself for that. He had just ruined everything. He knew he had lost everything. At best he would have to flee the town and find a new identity. At worst, he could be caught and imprisoned for life, or even banished to the Moon. He mustered the courage to open one eye. He prepared himself for the bloody mess he had surely crea- wait what? The pink pony stood upright, still staring, still smiling. She opened her mouth.
"Hehe, you really need to think before you do things like that! If you had missed me, then that could have gone into somepony's house! They could have been hurt! I really think you should go home now, it's getting late and I'm sure you're tired. This was fun, but I've got to get some sleep myself. Bye!"
Bronze could see the bullet balancing on her nose as she spoke. She bounced it up, caught it once more, and then began walking towards him. His mouth was agape. His voice dripped with terror.
"Wh- what... are you?"
"I'm just Pinkie Pie, silly!"
Bronze Wing lost whatever remaining nerves he might have had left. He dropped the gun, and flew off into the night as fast as he could.
Pinkie looked around her. The unicorn was groaning, only half conscious. The Earth pony was out like a light. She decided to leave them there. They would be fine by sunrise. She continued her journey back home. That had been a fun encounter, she thought. It seemed the darkness still had some tricks up it’s sleeve after all. That was the way she liked it. After all, who was she to turn down a surprise?
Author's Note
I worked on most of this several months ago. A few days ago I wrote the last few paragraphs and got it done. Procrastination is excellent!
