Law & Order : SAU

by TM1023

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 7283

When crimes against books are comitted, the Ponyville Special Athenaeum Unit is there to bring justice for ponies everywhere.

In the criminal justice system, biblio-malfeasance is considered especially heinous. In Ponyville, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Athenaeum Unit. These are their stories.

Inspired by the comic The Damage Fee by LoCeri.

Published 2013-01-27 11:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-28 03:49:05 UTC

One

Law & Order: Special Athenaeum Unit

Ponyville, Golden Oaks Library
03:30 AM

The insistent knocking on my bedroom door woke me from my much desired slumber. A quick peek at the clock told me it was 0330. From my experience I knew that nothing good ever comes from being woken up by someone knocking at my door at 3 in the morning. My name is Twilight Sparkle. I am the head Detective here and sometimes the only Detective. I have been working for the Ponyville SAU for several years now. Before I transferred here I worked in Canterlot. Now that was a place where one could cut their teeth on some real sick stuff.

With a loud groan Twilight rolled out of bed and pulled her mane out of her face in an attempt to put it back into its normal position. After several futile attempts to flatten a few offending strands she gave up. “I’m coming, I’m coming!” Twilight yelled to the closed door as she slowing rose to her hooves. A few miss-steps later she managed to stumble to the door and push it open. She was greeted by a large brown bird suddenly flying into her room.

“WHOOOOO!” the owl hooted as he flew circles around the room’s ceiling.

“Owlowiscious? What’s wrong?” Twilight yelled in surprise.

It was one of the boys working the night shift. No doubt here to tell me why my services were needed at such an early hour.

“WHOOO!” Owlowiscious replied again. He made one final circle around the room before flying out the door. Twilight followed close behind. She quickly trotted down the stairs to the library’s main atrium, letting her second best assistant lead her to the after hours book return drop box. Spike’s pet phoenix Peewee was already there, standing next to something on the floor. Lying next to the drop box was a small rectangular figure covered by a white towel.

The night owl landed next to the towel, extending one wing pointing at the unmoving figure. I nodded my head slightly and clenched my jaw to prepare myself for whatever horrendous thing lay underneath.

Owlowiscious reach with one talon and grabbed an edge of the towel. With one quick jerk he pulled it off, unveiling the horror.

It wasn’t a pretty sight. The rookie guarding the perimeter nearly lost his lunch and dry heaved a few times before turning around. I had seen much in my time on the force so the ghastly sight didn’t faze me at all. It was bad. The spine had been broken in several places. It stunk of alcohol and was soaking wet. This book has seen its last shelf. The pages were stained red by some unknown substance. It was cover side down, open for the world to see the atrocities committed upon it. A few pages were torn and some had its ink smeared nearly unrecognizable. I don’t know if it was intentionally placed this way by the suspect to display his or hers handiwork, but it whoever did this was one sick bastard.

“Oh sweet Celestia! What happened to this poor book?” Twilight yelped in surprise. She carefully walked up to the brown hardcover lying on the floor and gave it a nudge with her right foreleg. It gave off a slight squishing sound and Twilight stepped back. With a small bit of magic she slowly closed the book and bent down to get a closer look at title. “Dusk : Solar Flare.” Twilight brought her hoof to her chin as she tried to remember what this book was about. “Oh I know what this is! This is a trashy romance novel. It’s part of a series of books that everypony seemed to love even though the writing was atrocious and the plot banal,” Twilight said to no one in particular. Owlowiscious rolled his large eyes. He grabbed the towel once again and pressed it against the cover, trying to draw away as much moisture as possible. “Even if the story was lacking, why would someone do this to a poor defenseless book?”

More importantly, WHO would do this to a poor defenseless book? I can see where this day is heading. I need to start gathering evidence! Oh good, the crime lab tech has arrived.

“Twilight, what’s going on? It’s not even four in the morning!” Spike complained as he walked down the stairs. He rubbed his eye with one claw and dragged his blanket with the other.

“Spike, I need to you start restorations on this immediately,” Twilight said to the sleepy dragon. Using her magic she levitated the soggy tome away from Owlowiscous and towards her number one assistant. “Be very careful, it’s soaking wet with something.” Spike gingerly accepted the book with his claws and gave it a sniff.

“Bleagh!” Spike exclaimed and quickly drew his head back. “Why does this smell like bad cider and farts?”

“I don’t know, but I intend to find out.” Spike nodded in agreement and took the book out of the atrium, down to the basement where he could attempt to save it.

It’s probably going to take several days before the Lab can get that poor soul back together. I need to start my investigation immediately. I’ll check back with the Lab later to see if they found anything useful. I should start by interviewing the Officers who found it first.

Twilight walked over to the pair of birds who had now perched themselves on their favorite beam in the atrium. Peewee had recovered from his initial shock at the sight of the ruined novel but was sitting a bit closer to Owlowiscious than usual.

“Did you guys see what happened?” Twilight asked the pair

“Who,” Owlowiscous replied.

“Did you see the pony who did this!”

“Who.”

“Nevermind,” Twilight sighed.

“Chirp?” Peewee added.

This interview is going nowhere. I need to get some better witnesses. I should probably check the background of the victim and see if there’s anything unusual.

Twilight walked to the library’s front desk and pulled a large ledger out from behind. A few quick flips through the pages was all it took before she found what she was looking for.

Here it is. Looks like it was checked out quite a few times these past months. The last pony was a “Lyra Heartstrings” about two weeks ago. OK I got my first lead! Twilight looked at the large clock on the library wall. It was only 4 am. Well it’s a bit too early to start pounding on doors. Maybe after breakfast...

Two

Ponyville, Golden Oaks Library
05:30 AM

The sun is starting to rise. Another day in Celestia’s glorious Equestria. It’s amazing how magical the sunrise is when you don’t think about the mangled corpse of a book in the basement right now. I grimaced as I walked towards my saddle bags at the front door. With a small grunt I manage to pull them on. They seem a little tighter than the last time I had worn them. Am I getting fat? Perhaps I should cut back on the sweets, but that pink pony practically prances those pound packing products in front of me whenever I’m near. Yes, all those cupcakes with delicious frosting and cookies and cakes and… GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF TWILIGHT! The case, got to focus on the case!

Twilight pulled opened the front door of the library and called back inside, “I’m heading out now guys. I’ll be back soon.” Twilight closed the door and walked towards to afterhours book drop.

With the sun up I can get a good look at the crime scene. With yesterday’s early evening rain the ground should be muddy enough to catch any hoof prints left behind by the suspect.

Twilight levitated a magnifying glass from her saddle bag and slowly began to examine the ground near the book drop. After several minutes of staring at the dirt she came to the conclusion that there were no hoof prints to be found. Sighing heavily, she slid the magnifying glass back into the bag.

What’s this? I pull a feather out of one of the bushes surrounding the library. It’s a pegasus feather. A blue pegasus feather. I hold the feather up to the sunlight to get a better view of it. It’s a fully grown feather that has fallen naturally from its host. It could have come from whoever returned the book. This could explain why there are no hoof prints out here. But the book was checked out to Lyra, a unicorn. I’d better keep this still, just in case.

Twilight opened her bag and put the feather in a safe spot inside. After one last glance of the crime scene she turned and headed into town.

Ponyville, Lyra and Bon Bon’s house
06:00 AM

I knock on the door. It’s a fairly regular house for Ponyville, a single story residence with a thatch roof and plaster walls. I had known Lyra Heartstrings since I began attending Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. I was in the magic section while Lyra was in the music section. She had always been a decent pony. Friendly enough and not like a book breaking, ink smearing monster that my suspect seemed to be. Although we had never became “friends” so to speak. The door opens and a mint green and white unicorn is standing behind it.

“Oh hiya Twilight! It’s a surprise to see you here so early in the morning,” Lyra said as she extends a hoof in greeting.

I shake her hoof in return. This would be a great opportunity to make a new friend. And I could write a friendship report to the Princess about it. But I’m here for other business. Remember that poor defenseless trashy romance novel lying limp on the hard wood floor with its spine broken and pages torn!

“Hello Ms. Heartstrings,” Twilight replied in a serious tone. “I’m here about a book you recently borrowed from the library. Does the name Dusk: Solar Flare mean anything to you?”

“Shhh, don’t say that so loud,” Lyra blurted out at the mention of the title.

“Is there someone at the door, Dear?” Bon Bon called from inside the home.

Lyra quickly moved to block Twilight’s view of the interior of the home by standing between the partially open door and the doorway. “It’s just Twilight, Honey,” she called back inside. “She just needs to talk to me about something.” Lyra quickly stepped outside and closes the door behind her.

“Is there something wrong?” I question the mare. She was a weird one. Well as weird as one can get in a town that was once eaten by parasprites and over run by a stampede of bunnies. Still, it was an odd reaction for something as innocent as checking out a book. Or maybe not…

“It’s just that Bon Bon doesn’t like me reading those types of books,” Lyra replied in a whisper. She quickly peeked behind her to make sure the door was closed.

“OK, I guess. I just need to know why you did this!” With a flash of purple magic, a photograph of the broken novel appeared in front of the green mare’s face.

“Ahg! What!? Who? I didn’t do that!” Lyra sputtered and waved her hooves in front of her face.

“You were the last one to check out this book from the library!”

“Yeah I borrowed that book, but I lent it to Berry a few days ago.”

“You let someone else borrow a book you borrowed from the library?”

“Of course, it’s a library book right? Aren’t they meant to be lent around?”

“Library’s don’t work that way!” Twilight yelled at the unicorn. Lyra just gave a shrug in reply. “So who did you give the book to again?” Twilight said with a sigh.

“Berry Punch. You know, the mare that runs the Punch Bowl,” Lyra answered and pointed down the street.

I would hate to have to call Lyra a liar. Despite how heinous the crime had been, I don’t think Lyra would mislead me. She seems to be telling the truth and her reaction to the photo seemed genuine. I’ll just have to play along for now and go see Berry Punch.

“I know of the place,” Twilight said as she placed the photograph back into her saddle bag with her magic. “I’ll be going there next to talk to her. You had better not be lying to me.”

“Me, lie? Come on now Twilight. We’ve known each other for years. Why would I lie to you?” Lyra asked back. She placed her right forearm over her chest and gave Twilight a hurtful look.

“I’m not playing around Lyra. This is serious business,” said Twilight as she gives Lyra a withering glare.

“Yes, I can see that,” the mint unicorn replied. “Just go talk to Berry, she’ll tell you the same thing.”

Ponyville, The Punch Bowl
06:30 AM

The Punch Bowl. The only place in Ponyville that serves drinks of the harder variety. It wasn’t a large place. Berry Punch was the proprietor and ran it out of her home. Not many ponies in Ponyville drank alcohol on a regular basis, but there was always one or two ponies a night that had an itch for something more powerful than Pinkie’s party punch mix. I had never been inside, but I knew where it was in the town. I also did not know much about the pony Berry Punch. I’ve seen her about town and at various functions that I’ve been to, but never really talked with her. Whenever there was a party, she seemed to show up. I think I even saw her in the Crystal Empire once, but I must have been mistaken. There is no way she could have made to the Crystal Fair with Sombra lurking around outside. I finally make it to the watering hole and knock on the door.
…
There is no answer. I knock louder.
…
Still no answer. I give the door a slight push and it opens. Using the power of exigent circumstances and fearing for the safety of the residents within I power up my horn and enter the bar.

“Hello! Is anyone home?” I yell inside. “It’s Twilight Sparkle! I’m coming inside!” I immediately notice the smell. It’s not pleasant. The air stank of old cigar smoke and alcohol. There is no one in the main bar area. I check behind the counter and find nothing of interest. The bar area takes up most of the ground floor with a small kitchen in the back. I peek in the kitchen to see if anyone is home. The only thing there is a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. I make a quick sweep of the rest of the ground floor and find nothing. I see a set of stairs leading up to where the living quarters must be. I walk up the stairs slowly with my magic ready for anything. When I reach the second floor I take a quick look around. The second level is a lot smaller than the first; only a single hallway with a few doors.

“Hello? It’s Twilight Sparkle, is anyone home?” I call again. I hear a rustling noise coming from behind the door at the end of the hallway. I slowly inch my way there, casting a quick fortification spell on myself just in case something decides to jump out at me. I knock on the door and yell, “Berry? Is that you?” I hear more movement and a low grunt. I open the door and gasp at the sight in front of me. A plum colored earth pony lays sprawled out on the floor of the bathroom drooling. I rush up to the mare and check for vital signs. A quick scan shows that she is fine.

“Whatagrble?” the mare responded as Twilight slowly brings the partially conscious mare’s limbs back into a more natural position. On her flank is the cutie mark of grapes and a strawberry.

“Berry Punch, can you hear me?” Twilight asked once she realizes who the pony is.

“Twiglit?” Berry managed to say. “Whatare you doin here? The bar’ses closed.”

She was drunk. From the smell of her breath I can guess with a fair amount of certainty that she had been drinking the Apple family’s famous AppleJack Daniels hard cider. Great. How am I going to get any information out of her now?

Ponyville, The Punch Bowl
07:30 AM

Berry Punch woke with a headache. It was a normal occurrence for her and she tried to ignore it. She slowly opened her eyes and quickly realized that she wasn’t where she thought she was.

“What am I doing in my bed?” Berry asked out loud. “I thought I was spending the night on the bathroom floor again?”

“Oh I brought you here,” Twilight answered. She was sitting on a chair across from the bed in the room. A steaming mug levitated in front of her.

“Twilight? What are you doing here?” Berry asked in surprise. She pulled the sheets up higher around her, suddenly becoming embarrassed.

“Oh I came here to talk to you when I found you in the bathroom.” Twilight levitated another mug up to Berry. “You want some coffee? I hope you don’t mind that I used your kitchen.” Berry graciously accepted the cup and took a small sip. The hot coffee helped ease her headache and she sighed in relief.

“Thank you,” Berry nodded her head in agreement and took another sip. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Did you borrow a book from Lyra Heartstrings called Dusk: Solar Flare?”

“Yeah. It should be downstairs if you want it back.”

“It’s not there. I also hope you don’t mind that I looked around while I was making the coffee,” Twilight said sheepishly. Berry gave her stare that showed no emotion.

“It should be on the bookshelf to the right of the bar.” Berry placed her mug on the nightstand next to her bed and pushed the sheets off. She got up and motioned for Twilight to follow her downstairs.

I follow the barista to the bottom floor. She leads me to the bookcase by the bar. There are several books on it, but of course not the one I wanted.

“That’s weird,” Berry said as she placed a hoof under her chin, “I swore I left it right here so I could read it later.”

“You won’t find it here because I have back in the library. Someone returned it like this!” I show her the photo of the body. She makes it to the kitchen in time before she empties the contents of her stomach involuntarily. I hear running water before she returns to the bar. With a few wobbly steps, she goes behind the bar and pours herself a glass of water.

“What, what happened to it?” Berry asked in a shaky voice.

“Someone decided to put it out of circulation if ya’know what I mean,” Twilight replied. She placed the photograph on the bar in front of Berry. “You were the last person with the book. What happened?”

“I told you, “Berry answered and took a gulp from her glass of water. “I borrowed the book from Lyra a few days ago. I put it on the shelf and that was the last place I saw it. I swear I saw it yesterday too. I remember walking into the bar and seeing the book, reminding myself that I wanted to read it.”

Twilight levitated a small scroll and a quill from her saddle bag and began taking notes. “When was the last time you saw the book?”

“It was yesterday afternoon. I had just gotten back from shopping to restock the bar.” Twilight scribbled a few lines in her scroll.

“What happened last night?”

“It was a slow night. None of my regulars came by, probably because of the storm. I was about to close early for the night when a bunch of weather pegasi came in.”

“How do you know they were weather pegasi?”

“They told me they came in to celebrate another successful storm.” Berry took another sip of water. “One thing led to another and I started having a few shots with them. The next thing I remember was lying on the bathroom floor.”

“I need to know who was here last night,” Twilight said to the earth pony. She levitated another scroll from her saddle bag along with another quill. She set them both onto the bar in front of Berry. “Start making a list of everyone you can remember.” Berry sighed and picked up the quill with her mouth to begin writing.

Another dead end. There is no way she could have returned that book without leaving hoof prints behind. But there were pegasi here who could have.

Ponyville, Golden Oaks Library
09:00 AM

Talking with Berry Punch had given me more leads, and I need to narrow them down some more. I better check in with the Lab to see if they found anything yet. I head down to the basement where the lab tech was busy working on the victim.

“Spike, how are things going?” Twilights asked the little dragon. Spike was sitting at a wooden work bench with the book spread out in front of him. He had removed the binding and spread out all the pages to dry them evenly.

“The spine can be easily be fixed with a new binding, but some of these pages are completely ruined,” Spike replied as he pointed to a few sheets of paper on the table. “I did find this though.” The dragon picked up the rear cover of the book and held it up to the light at an angle. “There is a horseshoe print on the back cover.”

I take the cover from my Number One Assistant with my magic and bring it closer. He was right, a hoof indentation could be seen in the cover along with a horseshoe. I move it closer to the light and can barely make out some markings, a single wing stretched in a stylized swoosh.

“It’s a Mercury brand shoe.” Twilight set the cover down and picked up a ruler that was at the edge of the table. She laid it across the impression and noted the measurement. “It’s a size five. Too large for the average mare, so it probably came from a stallion.”

Things are starting to fall into place. Mercury brand horseshoes are more commonly worn by pegasus ponies. They are made with light weight materials, making them a favorite for ponies who needed to keep the weight to a minimum when flying. But due to their lighter construction, they cannot withstand constant walking on hard surfaces that a grounded pony would do. A non-pegasus wore Mercury’s to show off how rich they were. So rich that they didn’t need to walk on their own four hooves. There weren’t any ponies like that in Ponyville. A pegasus stallion shoeprint on the victim. A blue pegasus feather found in the crime scene. A bar full of pegasi with Berry Punch… I pull out the list that Berry had made and quickly scan through the names. There were several stallions, but only one with blue feathers.

“Blue Skies.” I’ve got you now, you book trashing son of a manitcore!

Author's Note

Blue Skies is not an OC. I found him in the MLP Wiki.
Blue Skies

Three

Ponyville, Golden Oaks Library
09:20 AM

“Spike, what’s the condition of the book?” Twilight asked her assistant. They were standing in the basement next to a work bench that they use to repair damaged books. The young dragon reached over to a pile of loose pages that he had stacked at one side.

“If it had just gotten wet, it wouldn’t be so bad. But a lot of the pages had the printing smeared and are torn. I don’t think we can use this copy every again.” Spike looked up from the bench and gave Twilight a small shake of his head.

So it’s gone from assault to bibliocide! I’ll have to notify the next of kin. Blue Skies has got a lot of explaining to do. I stomp my way out of the basement and towards the fiction bookshelves. I know what I have to do and it won’t be easy. A quick glance through the stacks and I find them. Volumes one, two, and four of the four part Dusk series. There was a gap on the shelf where part three would have sat. A knot forms in my throat as I gently place my hoof onto the first two novels. The library had purchased all four books as a set. They had all been placed on the shelf together at the same time and had the time to age together, to have their covers fade slightly from the sunlight at the same rate. Of course another volume three could be acquired, but it wouldn’t be the same. It could never be the same again. A single tear manages to find its way down my cheek and I look away. Whoever had done this would have to pay! And I didn’t mean the replacement book fee.

“Spike, I’m going out again,” Twilight yelled down into basement.

Helping Rainbow Dash with Tornado Duty seems to have had some extra benefits. Since we had to keep track of all the pegasus ponies in Ponyville, I had gotten to know all of them at least by name. I knew Blue Skies was a stallion with a blue coat and blonde mane. He works with Rainbow managing the weather. I should be able to find him in the skies right now. I head outside and flag down the first weather pegasus I see. It was Cloudchaser.

“Have you seen Blue Skies today?” I ask the lilac colored mare.

“Yeah, he should be clearing clouds over by the lake,” she replied at pointed to the East. Twilight gave a small smile and thanked the mare before trotting off towards the lake East of town.

Ponyville, Eastern Lake
09:45 AM

Ponyville has many lakes surrounding the town. The one on the Eastern edge was fairly large and often used for swimming and relaxing. Several clouds hovered above and several pegasi flew between them.

There he is! I spot the light blue stallion pushing a small cloud towards a group of weather pegasi. They were apparently trying to round up all the stray clouds into one large mass. They were approximately two hundred feet in the air and I try my best to get his attention. Luckily he sees me and begins his decent.

“Oh hey, Twilight,” Blue Skies nervously greeted the grounded mare as he lands. “What can I do for you?”

“Blue Skies, have you ever heard of a book called Dusk: Solar Flare?” Twilight asked. Blue Skies’ eyes shifted nervously from side to side.

“Um. Isn’t that a book in that popular vampony series?”

“Yes it is. You wouldn’t happen to have read it, have you? Perhaps from the copy in the libra-” Twilight did not have time to finish her question as Blue Skies suddenly jumped into the air and furious flapped his wings to flee.

We’ve got a runner! I try to grab a hold of him with my magic, but he is too fast and I miss. Being unable to fly really is a disadvantage when dealing with winged suspects. But there is more than one way to catch a pagasus. I just got to time this just right.

Blue Skies was trying to fly as fast as he could up to the cloud layer. Just when he was about to reach his goal, a bright purple and magenta light flashed before his eyes, blinding him for a split second. He suddenly felt a heavy weight land on his back and arms flailing to grab a hold of his midsection.

“Pull over immediately!” Twilight yelled at Blue Skies. She had teleported herself just above the flying pegasus and latched onto him as he flew by.

“Get off of me you crazy mare!” Blue yelled in surprise. He did a quick roll to try to dislodge his unwanted rider, but it didn’t work. Twilight had wrapped her rear legs around his waist and her forearms round his neck. “I didn’t do nothing, I swear!”

“Then pull over and quit resisting!” Twilight yelled again into Blue’s ear. Blue Skies tried another maneuver to try to shake her off but Twilight held tight. All the while they continued to climb higher. Twilight glanced upwards and saw that they were heading right into a large cloud.

Oh, it’s just a cloud…wait a minute-

There was no time to wait as both ponies slammed into the cloud. Being a pegasus, Blue Skies came to a sudden halt as he collided into the wall of pillow soft fluff. Being a unicorn, Twilight continued on with her flight path through the water vapor. Twilight lost her grip on Blue as she was torn off his back by his sudden stop.

Curse you inertia! Neighton you are a son of a diamond dog! I sailed through the cloud in a perfect arc. At the apex, I take a quick glance down at the stupid cloud and see Blue Skies sitting on top. His eyes were rolling around in his head like that grey mare. Then I fall. I fall through the cloud again and back down towards the ground. I quickly calculate what my terminal velocity would be and how long it would take before my insides become my outsides. Did I curse Neighton already? Well, second time’s the charm!

Blue Skies sat on his rump on top of the cloud. He brought both his fore-hooves to his head to settle his dizziness and blinked his eyes a few times to regain their focus. Just as he was able to see straight, another flash of purple and magenta light exploded in front of him.

“I said stop resisting!” Twilight yelled as she appeared a few feet above the cloud in front of Blue Skies. Again she fell through the cloud as she made contact with it.

Whoops, forgot the cloud walking spell. Twilight quickly cast the spell on herself and shot an arm upwards to catch the edge of the cloud. To her gratitude, it held firm.

“You’re a mad mare! Leave me alone!” Blue Skies yelped in surprise. He turned away and began to take flight once again.

“Oh no you don’t!” Twilight pulled herself up and jump onto the stallion just as he was taking off. Again they were flying high above Ponyville.

Good thing I read those hoof to hoof combat books after Shining’s wedding. There was a particularly interesting section about wrestling with a winged opponent. I think it went something like this.

Keeping her left forearm wrapped tightly around Blue Skies’ neck, Twilight used her right forearm to grab his right wing. With a slight grunt she pulled the wing back and locked it in the crook of her elbow, effectively pinning his wing back. Blue Skies yelled again in a mixture of surprise and pain. They were still a few hundred feet in the air and now he was flying with one wing and with a passenger. He flapped his free left wing as hard as he could but it was not enough, they were going down. Twilight tried her best to steer the spiraling pony towards the lake. At the last moment before impacting the water, she let go of his wing and Blue Skies instinctively flapped downwards to slow their decent. It was not enough to stop them completely, and they both crashed into the lake.

Ponyville, Golden Oaks Library
11:00 AM

In hindsight, pinning the wing of a flying pegasus in mid air while riding on back was probably not the smartest thing to do. I stand in front of one of the study rooms in the library with a towel. After the crash landing I managed to drag Blue Skies to the library, mostly my levitating him the entire way back. Now he sits in the interrogation / study room. After all I’ve done this morning he had better spill his guts.

“Twilight, this is largest dictionary I could find,” Spike said as he walks with a large hard bound book. It’s nearly as large as he is. “Why do you need it again?”

“Thank you, Spike. I just wanted to look up some words.” Twilight accepted the extremely large book with her magic and levitated it behind her. “Now let’s question our suspect.”
Twilight set her towel aside and opened the door to the study room. It was a very small room, just large enough for a small table and two chairs. There were no windows and no decorations on the walls. Only a single lamp illuminated the room. Seated at one of the chairs was Blue Skies with a towel draped over his head. Twilight walked inside and dropped the large dictionary onto of the table. It made a large “Thwack” and Blue Skies flinched in his seat. Spike followed Twilight into the room and stood at the door.

“Do you know why you are here?” Twilight asked the sitting stallion.

“It’s because of that stupid book,” Blue skies replied. He pulled the towel off of his head and looked down at the table.

“Yes, this book.” Twilight dropped another book on the table in front of Blue Skies. It was the copy of Dusk: Solar Flare. Spike at had put all the pages back but did not rebind it. Instead it was held together with a large rubber band. “Why did you do it? What has this book done to you?”

Blue Skies looked at the book. The cover was stained red and the colors of the original art were bleeding together. Some pages stuck out at odd angles and it still had a faint odor of alcohol. He turned the book over and a faint hoof print could still be seen. The indentation was just about the same size as his own hoof.

“OK, I did it. I’m sorry!” Blue Skies blurted out.

“Tell me exactly what happened,” Twilight said icily as she sat down in the chair facing Blue Skies.

“We went to Berry’s place after the storm,” Blue Skies began. “We all had a few drinks and it started to get a bit rowdy. I bumped into the bookcase next to the bar and knocked the book onto the ground. I didn’t know it until I stepped on it. When I looked down to see what I stepped on I spilled my cider on it. I tried to wipe it off but that only made it worse. So I took it to the bathroom to try to dry it off. That didn’t work and I got scared, so I dumped it in the trashcan outside the bathroom and left.”

“Don’t you mean you took it back to the library and shoved it through the book return?”

“What? No, I left in the trash,” Blue Skies replied defensively.

“Don’t lie to me!” Twilight yelled and slammed her hooves onto the table. “I know you were at the library, I found your feather outside!” To prove her point, Twilight levitated the blue feather in front of him.

“That’s not my feather!” Blue Skies yelled back.

“I know it was you. I know you beat up that poor book and put it in the book return to mock me!” Twilight stood up and levitated the large dictionary above her head. “Now tell me the truth or your face is going to be permanently next to ‘beaten up by a book’ in this dictionary!”

“It’s the truth, I swear by Celestia’s name!” Blue Skies cowered in his seat. Never before had he seen such an angry mare.

“Why I oughta-“ Twilight raised the dictionary higher.

“Twilight! Stop!” Spike yelled and jumped onto the table in front of her. “Get a hold of yourself!”

Twilight looked Spike and then at Blue Skies. She looked back to Spike and then dropped the dictionary. Blue Skies flinched as it hit the ground with a resounding “thud.”

“You are still getting fined for damaging the book. And you better not be lying to me. Remember, I know where you live,” Twilight said coldly to the frightened stallion. She picked up the broken novel and blue feather with her magic and left the room.

I leave the room seething in rage. How could he not be the one who returned the broken book? He already admits to damaging it at the bar. Everything points to him. Why won’t he just confess to returning it?

“Twilight, I don’t think he is the one,” Spike said to fuming mare as he exits the study room.

Great, now the dragon thinks he’s innocent. I’ve been running around all morning on this case and I’m still chasing nothing but rumors! I slam my head into the nearest table. Why is this so hard? Why can’t I find out something so simple as who returned a book?

“Um, Twilight,” Spike said and approached his Mother/Sister/Boss who was slamming her head against a table. “I think you need to take a break.”

Yes, a break. I need a break. Perhaps three or four minutes to clear my mind.

“Get your Colgate brand tooth polish right here! Guaranteed to clean your teeth of all those nasty germs and keep cavities away! Just one tube can last up to thirty brushes! No other brand tooth polish can clean your teeth better for this price! Remember when you are brush, brush, brushing, think Colgate brand tooth polish! Now in mint flavor for foals.”

Ponyville, Sugarcube Corner
12:00 PM

Twilight watched the blue and white unicorn hawk her goods to the marketplace from her table outside of Sugarcube Corner. She had decided to have a light lunch at the bakery and try to refocus on the case. She sipped her tea and searched her saddle bag for the blue feather. Once she found it and it levitated in front of her, spinning it slowly in the light.

“Here ya go Twilight!” Pinkie Pie happily chimed as she bounced over to the table. “One cupcake a la Pinkie!” She placed a plate with pink cupcake on top of the table and looked at the feather Twilight was levitating. “Oooo, where did you get one of Dashie’s feathers?”

“Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked back, “No this is from Blue Skies.”

“I’m pretty sure that one is from Dashy Dash, not Bluey Blue,” Pinkie answered with a laugh. Twilight only raised one eye brow in response. “You see, Blue Skies is Pantone 9441 C while Rainbow Dash’s coat is Pantone 2509 C like that feather you have there.” Pinkie gave Twilight a very large and toothy smile. Twilight did not understand everything Pinkie had said, but she did understand the ramifications.

“Are you sure? Are you 100% sure this feather is from Rainbow Dash?” Twilight held the feather closer to Pinkie for to see.

“Yup, I’m 120% sure! It’s not Blueberry Muffin, Blue Skies, Bluebell, Bluebird Happiness, Chocolate Blueberry, Cloud Showers, Deep Blue, Electric Blue, Helia, Opal Water, Prism Strider, or Sassaflash. It’s Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie shouted out in one long breath.

“Um, thank you for the cupcake Pinkie, but I got to take this to go.” Twilight quickly picked up her things and headed back to the library.

Rainbow Dash? Could it really have been her? Could one of my best friends do such a thing to a book?

Ponyville, Golden Oaks Library
12:15 PM

I’ve got to be certain if I’m going to after Rainbow Dash. I walk to the library’s front desk and pull out the check-out ledger. I quickly look for the other volumes of Dusk and who had checked them out. Oh no! Rainbow Dash’s name was listed under each. I admit she’s destroyed a few things crashing into the library every so often, but to deliberately return a book beyond repair in secret?

There was a knock on the door. I leave the front counter and open the door to find none other than Rainbow Dash herself standing on the other side.

“Rainbow Dash,” I greet her with a fake smile. “I was just about to go see you.”

“Well that’s great because I came here to talk to you.” The rainbow mare seems nervous as I lead her into the library. We stop at the large round table in the center of the atrium. “Blue Skies told me what happened this morning.”

“Oh did he now?”

“Yeah, he said you foalnapped him out of midair and nearly beat the cud out of him with a dictionary over a ruined book.” Rainbow shifted her hooves. She is definitely nervous about something. Time to begin the interrogation.

“Yes, it was because of this book.” I keep an eye on Rainbow’s face as I place the battered book on the table in front of her. She tries to hide her conscious, but I know her too well to not see the guilt in her eyes. Mares and stallions of the court I would like to present the defendant, Rainbow Dash. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about it would you?”

“Um well, you see, about that book,” Rainbow stuttered. The Prosecution would like to call its first witness, Rainbow Dash, to the stand.

“You mean this poor defenseless book that was brutally stomped on by Blue Skies and then drowned in cider?”

“Yeah about that,” Rainbow trailed off.

“Who then viciously broke its spine, ripped its pages, and then thoughtlessly shoved it into the book return slot for the whole world to see his depravity?” I narrow my eyes and give Rainbow a hard stare. She fidgets for a few seconds and bites her bottom lip.

“I did it!” Rainbow suddenly shouted. “I’m the one who returned the book, not Blue Skies.”

My eyes fly open in shock. A confession!

“I saw it in the trash at Berry’s place last night. I haven’t read this one yet and I really wanted to know who Annabelle would choose. So I picked it up right before I left. I was on my way home when a tree came out of nowhere and hit me.” I roll my eyes. “I dropped the book in a puddle and when I tried to dry it off with my patented Rainblow Dry it kinda bent in half and some of the pages got ripped. I know you love the books in the library and I felt so bad for ruining it. I panicked and just dumped it in the book return and flew off. Did I mention I was probably still drunk at the time? I’m really sorry,” Rainbow said with a downcast look.

Well there you have it mares and stallions of the court. A full confession on the stand. What say you?

We find the defendant, Rainbow Dash, guilty of aggravated biblio-slaughter.

It wasn’t a shocking verdict. Blue Skies had done most of the damage at the bar. Rainbow just pushed it over the edge, as usual. Now on to the sentencing phase.

“Oh it’s not so bad. You should see my other books,” I say to the convicted felon and slowly raise my left hoof behind her as I show her a random book…