That's Life

by Bandy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sad, Original Character, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3398

A down and out pony on the dark streets of Ponyville...

A simple little story about a down and out musician nicknamed Suits who wanders the late-night streets of Ponyville.
Written and edited in two hours (a new personal record!).
Inspired by Frank Sinatra's "That's Life".
That's about it. Enjoy, and happy Sunday!

Published 2012-01-22 17:25:38 UTC
Last updated 2012-01-28 14:02:41 UTC

Down and Out

Might I suggest some background music?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIiUqfxFttM
Have you got the music on? Good. Read on.

“…And stay out!”

A unicorn, his normally bright blue coat muddled with dirt and whatever else the decrepit cobblestones of the alley could stick to him, the suit he wore disheveled and hastily patched at the seams, flew out of the door, thrown with excessive force by the bouncers hired by the club for just such a situation.

“If I catch ya here again, Imma break ya legs. Ya hear, boy?”

The blue pony laughed, a grim chuckle that almost caused the bouncer to cringe. “Yeah. See ya next week, Ma’am.”

The bouncer shook his head. “Why don’t ya go make somethin’ of yaself, stead ah wastin’ ya life on that damn music dream ya got?”

The pony rose to his hooves, rubbing his head. “Next time, don’t throw me on my head. I need this precious mug.”

He preformed a perfect about-face, his suit swirling around him as he did. He picked up his hat, tipped it to the bouncer, and sauntered off, a light jump to his step, humming an old jazz tune.

As he set a course for his usual hangout when a gig went sour, he took a glance around him. The surroundings matched his mood: A somber grey twilight mad the buildings surrounding him nothing more than iridescent shadows, the rising moon struggling to maintain the semblance of light. The glows it did produce fell on the larger buildings and casted long, obtuse shadows, concealing a vast majority of the outskirts of Ponyville. The wind blew slightly, cause for a rational pony to wear a scarf. The entire town was cast in a sepia tone grey hue brought on by lack of light, turning the edges of the horizons into mush and making the few lit tamps hanging outside the only significant sources of light for any pony who wandered the streets at this hour. Several buildings still had lights on, but a vast majority of the houses and businesses of the town had closed down for the night, the “closed” signs he continually encountered proof of his theory. A club nearby was still jumping, computerized bass pumping from the confines of the bar.

“Whoa, buddy. Slow down!” the owners of the voices were several stallions exiting the bar. They were all clearly inebriated, but all but one was barely able to stand, the effects of alcohol raging through their systems like a virus.

As he passed the party, one pony stumbled. Acting on instinct, the blue pony created a cushion of magic under the inebriated pony, cushioning his fall.

“Whoopsie… thanks mate.” He slurred. No more thanks were needed. It wouldn’t be given, either, as the ponies stumbled around the corner and disappeared.

The door to Sugarcube Corner jingled with a staccato “clink” as the unicorn entered, removing his hat and reclining on a stool next to the display case.

“Well lookie here! Hiya Suits! Another gig gone down the drain?” Along with the voice bounced a pink mare, a mass of pink curls bobbing in step with her. The one piece of color that wasn’t distorted by the sepia tone twilight outside.

“Ooh yeah.”

“Neato! What did you do this time?”

The pink mare’s enthusiasm for his story made him smile. “Pinkie, it’s a BAD thing that the gig fell through, remember?”

“Pff, yeah, I knew that! But when it does happen, you always have a funny story of what you did to make it go wrong!”

To that he had no argument. For all his successes, he was notoriously hard to work with. He convinced himself that this only made him more desirable, but deep down he knew all he was doing was losing opportunities.

His thoughts were interrupted by one Pinkie Pie, defying all imaginable laws of physics by hovering in front of him, suspended in mid-air by some unseen force. He waved a hoof over and under the mare, making sure no trick wires suspended her in fau-flight.

“Erm, well, I just got into an altercation with a particularly drunk patron about the adequacy of my song selection. We got into a bit of a fight, and I won. After we carted him out, the owner got all mad at ME for fighting. Can you believe that?” The mare could only nod in agreement. “Anyway, we got into it, and I might have, kinda punched him.”

“NICE!”

“Yeah… nice. After that, I got tossed and came here.”

“Well,” said Pinkie, “My doors are always open! And for your troubles, a double choco-tastic cupcake, no icing!”

“You know just how I like them, Ms. Pie.” He bowed curiously, taking the confection in the hold of his magic and taking a bite. Most mistook his favorite sweet for a muffin, but Pinkie knew the difference, and that’s why he gave the mare’s shop business.

“So, Pinkie: How’s business?”

This got the mare off and running, so to speak. He knew from experience that Pinkie could talk for hours on end, if left uninterrupted. Her chatter, although mostly contaminated with gossip and mindless ramblings would, sometimes, morph into intelligent, intellectual discussion.

This, however, was not going to happen tonight.

“Pinkie,” he said, distracting the mare from her most recent tangent. “I need to go. Beauty sleep and whatnot.

“Oh… Okie dokie lokie!” The slightest hint of sadness crossed her face, forcing her usually bombastic curls to droop.

“Don’t worry, Pinkie. Celestia knows I’ll be back sooner than I’d hope.”

Her smile returned, her hair returning to its former state with a whoomph. “Yay! I’ll be waiting!”

“I know you will. Until then, Ms. Pie.” He bowed, brandishing his hat in a flourish before adorning it at a crooked angle on his head. He tossed the remnants of his confection into his mouth, and disappeared out the door.

The world had not changed since he entered the shop, sans a slight change in the sepia tone world around him. He sighed, and then began to trot to the edge of town. As he did, the wind picked up slightly, forcing him to pull his suit up against himself to preserve warmth.

Gonna be a cold one tonight.

He reached a sheltered archway, over which a small bridge was precariously placed, the supports long rotted away. He re-draped his jacket over himself, and sat down on the cold ground, shivering slightly as he did so. He tipped his hat over his face and closed his eyes, preparing himself for another cold night under the bridge.

“Soon,” he thought, “I’ll be living it up in the spotlight. No more living on the ground. I’ll be the biggest thing to ever hit Equestria. That’ll be the day…” he mumbled as he drifted into another night of fitful slumber, his body rooted to the present, but his mind floating in fantastic dreams of the future.

Up and coming

It had been four years since the blue unicorn had walked these streets. So much had happened in the years since he took his late-night strolls around Ponyville.

He passed a bar and heard the light, melodious tones of a saxophone flow through the open doors. He stopped. Yes, he remembered this bar; he had been thrown out of here several times before.

As he walked in, the pony playing the saxophone stopped playing, opting instead to stare at the newcomer to the bar.

The owner, seeing who had just entered his establishment, trotted over excitedly.

"No way! You're-"

"Please, call me suits." he said, laying a hand on the owner's shoulder. "So, throw any more musicians out today?"

The owner's face flushed with color. "He he... Um, sorry about that."

He chuckled at the owner's less than stellar reaction. "Eh, it's in the past. Nothing we can do now but laugh about it."

The both chuckled, one out of genuine laughter, one out of nervousness.

As they were chatting, the pony who had been playing the saxophone shuffled over to the conversation. "Um, Mr. Suits- sir? Would it, Uh, be okay if you maybe... Well... Could I have an autograph?"

He smiled. "It would be my pleasure." Paper and parchment materialized from some unknown hide away. He scribbled his initials, and then levitated it back to the budding musician, his smile threatening to burst right off of his face.

"Wow! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" he let out an almost filly-like squeal before returning to the stage.

"You know," said the owner, "we got another hour or so before we close up. I'd be honored if you could get up there and play a little.

"I'd love to. But I can't. I promised myself I'd meet up with an old friend. But I’d love to stop by sometime later. I’m here for a few days on vacation."

The owner’s face lit up with a smile. "Okay, sounds like a plan. But hey, thanks for stopping in."

"My pleasure." he replied, shaking his hoof.

After appropriate goodbyes, he left, smiling to himself that he wasn't being thrown out this time. He continued along his old route, determined to get to his destination before sunrise. The land had visibly changed in the four years he had missed; the landscape, instead of a sepia tone mush, had become visibly brighter. He had the moon to thank for that, the bulbous yellow orb in the sky waxing at its apex and giving off copious amounts of light. New buildings dotted the streets, throwing off his sense of direction slightly. "Didn't know there was a store there," he mumbled to himself as he rounded a corner. The street was still terribly lit, but the moon's light made any amount of artificial light unnecessary.

Just then, a flash originating from an alley to his right blinded him. A second flash shut out his vision entirely. What the hay was going on?

"Hey Suits! Give us a smile!"

"Suits, is it true you had an affair with the princess?"

"Suits, when are the new songs gonna drop?"

He cursed silently as he realized what was going on: he had been ambushed by paparazzi.

Before he could react properly, he had been swarmed by a crowd on ponies, all waving recorders or cameras in his face. Bright flashes continued to distort his vision. He desperately turned, attempting to find some place of refuge from the onslaught of reporters. He spotted a hole in the crowd and dove through it, nearly losing his balance and knocking a reporter's camera to the ground.

"Hey, man! Watch it!"

"Get a real job, MAN." he shot over his shoulder as he retreated through an alley and onto another one of Ponyville's interconnecting streets. He knew they would try to follow him, so he decided to leave post haste.

By some large sum of stupid luck, he wandered onto the street he was looking for. The bright neon sign that hung outside proudly, if not somewhat bashfully, proclaimed the name of the shop in question.

"Finally," he mumbled, straightening his jacket before bursting through the door.

"Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may help-" The mare operating the front desk, a brown unicorn with a swirly green mane, went into a mild state of shock at her customer.

"Um... Hi. Is Pinkie Pie here?"

"Y-y-yes. She's baking a fresh batch of cupcakes in the back."

"Do you mind if I go back there? She's an old friend of mine."

"Well, Uh, we're really not allowed to let anypony in the kitchen, but I guess you can."

"Thanks, mate." he mused before trotting into the kitchen, excitement nearly bubbling right out of his pores.

The kitchen was smaller than he expected, even smaller by the presence of a pink mare that was pulling a fresh batch of cupcakes out of one of the ovens. She turned around to set them on the faux-marble counter top, but as she did, she noticed the guest that had appeared.

"No way... Suits?"

"The one and only."

He was immediately hit by a blur of pink, winding up on the ground with pinkie on top of him, crushing one of his hind legs.

"Oh my goodness! I'm so happy to see you! I got the songs you sent, and they were awesome! It's so absolute-a-rifically awesome you’re here! Well, not because you’re famous or anything, but because I haven't seen you in forever! Oh, what have you been doing (besides being famous and all)? I'll bet you-"

"Pinkie, pinkie! My leg," he stammered as a fresh wave of pain shot through his leg.

"Oopsie daisy. my bad."

"Yeah, not a problem," he mumbled, stretching his injured leg before standing upright. "So, how are ya, Pinkie? It's been four years since I was last here."

"Oh, I'll tell you everything! Let's go to the front room, though."

"Lead the way, madam," he said as he bowed and gestures to the door way. He couldn't help but smile as the mare giggled at his chivalrous behavior.

"So what's new in Ponyville?" he asked as they took a seat at one of the tables scattered around the interior of the shop.

"You wouldn't believe the crazy stuff that's happened here. Since you left, this one pony named Twilight Sparkle moved to town. She's a student of the princess," she added, waggling her eyebrows for effect. "She's super nice and all, but she has a way of getting trouble to find us. A lot."

He laughed. "Nah, that sounds like fun if you ask me."

"Oh it's super duper fun! Except for the one time we almost got eaten by that ursa minor."

"What?! An ursa minor?"

"Yeah, fun times. So what have you done all this time? Aside from being famous, and all."

He stared wistfully at the wall, remembering just how excruciatingly difficult it was to achieve such a high status. "Well, a guy who happened to own a recording studio happened to be at a performance of mine. He let me record a couple of tracks, and I just clawed by way to the top from there." He didn't want to go into detail about just what he had been forced to do to get to the top, the memories were still too fresh for his taste.

"Wow, that is so cool!" Pinkie replied. "Oh! I almost forgot! I made this for you!" she held out an ornately wrapped confection. He wanted to ask just how she had managed to do this in the five minutes he had been in the shop, but decided against it as he unwrapped the gift.

It was a cupcake. Double chocolate, no icing.

"Nice. You really know how to make a presentation," he said as he stuffed the confection into his mouth. Four years without Pinkie's signature cupcakes was torture, but every minute of waiting was worth it as he finished off the confectionary masterpiece. "That... Was amazing."

"I knew you'd love it! So, wanna chat some more?"

His face fell slightly. "I'm sorry; I gotta go take care of some personal business. But I'm here for a few days, and I'm gonna spend as much time as possible right here," he said, tapping his seat for emphasis.

If Pinkie's smile got any bigger she would have exploded. "Yay! We should throw a big ol' party to celebrate!"

"Sure, why not?"

Pinkie let out a squeak of delight and sprung out of her seat, skipping over the room, somehow ending up on the ceiling. Gravity had nothing on that mare.

"Well, I better head out. Don't want to bug ya anymore than I already have."

"Aww," Pinkie sighed. "Okay then. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You know it. Until then, Ms. Pie." he bowed satirically, making the pony giggle yet again.

He could hear her squeals of laughter die out as he exited the store and headed out towards the edge of town.

The bridge was still there, and although it had been partially reclaimed by nature, the structure itself was still sound. He stood over his old resting spot, his home for the years he had toiled on the edge of the spotlight. Now he had achieved success, and as he stared at the place that had been his refuge from the elements for so long, the place he had gone to when all others had shut their doors, the one spot in all of Ponyville that didn't shut him put, he felt...

Nothing

He felt nothing. He felt no pain as he remembered all the times he nearly froze to death in this very spot. He felt no sadness as he remembered all the times he simply broke down and cried at his situation. He felt no grief for all the miserable failures he had suffered before retreating here. He felt no sentimentality towards the plot of earth under the bridge. It was just another patch of earth, same as the millions of others in the world.

Perhaps it was best this way. Don't look back, no regrets. He wanted to feel something, anything that showed him that he was still connected to the world, but for the life of him, he simply stared blankly at his former home, emotionless as a rock.

He squatted down, and came about to rest in the way he had so many times before. A soft layer of fresh moss cushioned him as he realized just how beautiful the view was. The sun was beginning to peek over the easternmost clouds, turning them an invariable hue of oranges and reds and magentas. The rays from the sun deflected off the clouds at odd angles, wrapping whatever it touched in a bright halo of light. As he stared, he felt his eyelids begin to grow heavy.

No. Don't fall asleep.

The voice jolted him from his slumber. It took him a second to realize that he had simply talked to himself. Again.

Getting up, he reflected on what fame had done to him: he had a rather large home in Canterlot, thousands of mares literally throwing themselves at him, and a sterling music reputation that spanned the entirety of Equestria. He was set for life.

It still bothered him, however, that he didn't feel anything over this most unorthodox housewarming. He had built this grand facade of what this moment would be like. Sad music, a touching goodbye, acceptance of the overwhelming pain. All for naut. Standing here now, apathy the only emotion he could conjure made him feel almost empty, emotionless. Maybe it's for the best. Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise, simply the act of repressing any emotion he had working to his favor in the future. Maybe not, perhaps missing a golden opportunity by not showing some grand display of emotion.
That's when it hit him.

It didn't HAVE to be some grand display, some great fanfare of emotions. The simple act of returning here had been all the effort he needed to put in. Simply standing there, staring blankly at his former home had brought this rush of thought, this myriad of intellectual struggle. He didn't even have to shed a tear. The simplicity of the resolution made him want to kick himself for not seeing it sooner. He smiled lightly as the first rays of Celestia's sun hit him, warming his coat slightly as he soaked up the rays, the light bringing his mood up to an even greater high.

The skip returned to his step as trotted away towards his hotel room. He had a party to prepare for, after all. As he walked towards town, the sun caught in a window, temporarily blinding him. He staggered slightly, his good mood offset by the misfortune he had just suffered.

He smiled, and chuckled to himself. One minute, he's on top of the world. The next, he's blind. Pitiable as it was, it was almost hilarious all the same.

Oh well. That's life.

Well, there ya go. "Only two chapters? Why not just put em up at the same time?" valid question. You see, I had originally intended for this to be just one chapter. I forgot to mark the story complete after one chapter, and, since several of you tracked it, decided to give it an ending. I couldn't leave Mr. Mobius hanging, anyhow. That would be just plain rude!