Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this fanfiction are property of Hasbro, the Hub, Lauren Faust and Studio B. The author makes no claims contradicting the ownership of said characters.
Twilight galloped as fast as her legs could take her. Every muscle was burning as each leg rose and fell in the steady rhythm of her mad dash through Ponyville. Her breath escaped raggedly from her lungs, each time feeling as though it couldn’t get past the tightness of her chest. She was desperate to reach her friend’s home in time, she needed to reach her friend’s home in time, she couldn’t fail.
Other ponies watched her in confusion. She ran, screaming for Rainbow Dash at the same time, knowing she wasn’t fast enough and only the rainbow maned pegasus could hope to reach her in time. Rainbow, for whatever reason, didn’t appear.
Twilight’s vision was blurred by the tears of shame, tears of despair; she could not understand how it was possible to have been so blind. All she could remember was the words written on paper, damning in her eyes and revealing so much about a young pegasus who had the kindest soul she had ever met.
How could it be this way? Why did she even say those things? The words, written by hoof, filled up her mind with dread and despair. Twilight could remember every single one of them, as though she’d been physically struck by them.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that my friends can sometimes be too busy to even listen to me, but that’s alright, because sometimes I can be a bit of a bother. Still, even when you think you’re going to have all the time in the world to spend with your friends, sometimes they just don’t want to spend it with you. And I can understand why. I really do, so, um, that’s what I learned today.
It didn’t make sense in Twilight’s mind. Why would Fluttershy even write those words? And then to send Angel with it to request that Spike send it to the Princess? It just didn’t make sense to her.
Twilight finally stopped running when the blurry shape of Fluttershy’s cottage appeared in her tear streaked vision. The place was dark, the door ajar. She had a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was just too late and she knew exactly what she was going to find there.
Cautiously, her heart almost tearing itself out of her chest with worry, Twilight approached the door and carefully stuck her head inside. It was empty. Breathing hard after her desperate sprint through town, Twilight nearly collapsed, but she forced herself to enter the home of her quiet friend.
“Please.” Twilight walked through the building, the living room was empty. Not even Fluttershy’s animals were around. The kitchen was spotless, and much to Twilight’s horror one of the kitchen knives was missing. “Oh please, Celestia, please.” Twilight searched the pantry, the bathroom, the attic, everywhere. She searched everywhere except the one room in the house she didn’t want to go into, somehow thinking that perhaps if she didn’t open that door she wouldn’t find the gruesome sight instinct told her would be there.
Slowly she opened the bedroom door. Twilight had been standing outside of it for what felt like hours, but in truth had only been five minutes at most. When her eyes finally took in the sight of the room, she frowned and almost sighed in relief, but something stopped her. Twilight stared at the fallen kitchen knife. It remained on the floor where it lay, clean and unblemished.
“Twilight!” a familiar voice shouted from downstairs. “What the hay, girl, is it bad?”
Twilight dragged her hooves to the top of the stairs, her head held low in agonized despair. “She’s not here, I think… Celestia damn it all!”
Pinkie gasped at Twilight’s colorful curse.
Twilight’s horn shone with magic. Three of her other friends, no doubt, had dropped what they’d been doing Once Owlowicious got the message to them to follow after her, but a certain cyan coated pegasus was still missing. “Rainbow Dash! You get your flank down here right now!”
The volume of the cry set Fluttershy’s windows rattling. The enhanced magical call could probably be heard clear the way to Canterlot.
Applejack took her hat off and briefly flicked her ears. “Horsefeathers, Twilight, why’d ya have to be so loud?”
“Please, Twilight, what have you discovered?” Rarity implored.
Twilight’s face remained stony, hard. “She’s gone, there’s a knife in her bedroom, she almost went through with it here. And if she’s still trying to end her life… She could be anywhere.”
Pinkie shook her head. “Fluttershy wouldn’t do that!” She was still adamant; her entire demeanor was different from her normal childlike nature. She wasn’t bouncing, she wasn’t bubbling up with energy and she wasn’t smiling. Her face was a mask of seriousness. “Fluttershy has to be fine, Twilight, I didn’t discover a new Pinkie Sense today.”
Twilight furiously stormed down the stairs. “This is not a joke, Pinkie! Fluttershy, for whatever reason, is feeling depressed and neglected by us. She tried to kill herself with that knife and then changed her mind! Probably so she wouldn’t scare Angel or the other animals when they found her… Her…” Twilight couldn’t bring herself to say it.
Pinkie did not flinch at Twilight’s words. Instead she rose up on her hind legs and glared at her. “I am not joking! I have a pinkie sense for everything, Twilight! Don’t you think, if Fluttershy did kill herself, I’d have felt it?” Pinkie fell back onto her four legs and stared hard at Twilight, as if daring her to contradict her.
Twilight let out a frustrated sigh.
Applejack gently nudged her with her snout. “It weren’t your fault, Twi, we were all busy today. What with the Sisterhooves Social going on and everythin’.”
“Yes, I myself am quite mortified to think that Fluttershy felt we were neglecting her, of all ponies. But losing my head at this time would not help her, or help find her, whatever may have happened.” Rarity came up alongside Twilight and tried to offer a comforting touch.
“I should have known something like this could happen.” Twilight turned away from the others. “She’s a classic case, I read all about it in my books. Kind to a fault, unwilling to confront anypony when they might have upset her. I was trying to get her to break out of her shell, did I drive her to this?”
Applejack shook her head. “No, Twi, ya didn’t do nothin’ wrong.”
“Anything wrong.” Rarity agreed with her friend, but couldn’t stand when she started using double negatives.
“Right, anythin’.” Applejack shot Rarity a glare.
Pinkie stalked around them, her nose twitching as she pressed it to the floor of Fluttershy’s cottage like a hound dog and started sniffing. She decided it would be better to find out where Fluttershy might have gone, as opposed to just talking about how she got to this point.
“Geeze, Twilight, why’d you have to shout so loud?” Rainbow Dash finally joined the others landing outside Fluttershy’s open door. “And why are you all at Fluttershy’s? Rarity, Applejack, I thought you were spending quality time with the sis.”
Rarity nodded, the curlers in her mane having been forgotten. “Oh of course, we left Sweetie Belle all alone! She must be worried sick about my sudden departure.”
“And how do you think Fluttershy feels?” Twilight’s tone was bitter, resentful towards herself more so than her friends.
“Fluttershy?” Rainbow glanced around. “You mean she isn’t here?”
“No she’s not, Rainbow Dash!” Twilight stuck her face in Rainbow’s personal space. “She wanted me to do something today, came by to ask if I could, but I was so busy with something I didn’t even listen to her. And now she’s sent me a letter to give to Princess Celestia, and probably bleeding to death somewhere! Unless she tried drowning herself, or who knows maybe she invented a gun! And we don’t know where she is, or if she’s in pain, thinking she’s been abandoned by her friends!”
Rainbow’s wings flared out behind her and she backed up slightly from Twilight. “You’re out of your mind. Twilight. Fluttershy’s not any of those things. Didn’t she tell you what today is?”
Twilight blankly stared at Rainbow Dash in utter confusion.
Pinkie suddenly howled from somewhere behind them. “Fluttershy’s this way, guys.” Waving at them, she hopped out the kitchen window and started galloping away.
Rainbow rolled her eyes at that display. “Trust Pinkie. Anyway, come on, she’s probably right.” Turning she headed off after the pink party pony.
Applejack and Rarity shared surprised looks.
“I don’t understand.” Twilight continued to stare after the retreating form of her other pegasus friend utterly confused, her heart still thinking she’d failed somehow to save a friend from her own inner demons.
Rainbow chuckled. “I’m sure once we find Fluttershy you will.”
The five ponies walked in silence. Each of them dwelling upon their own thoughts, Rarity was quiet and ashamed that she’d dismissed her friend so readily. She’d been so busy trying to win back Sweetie Belle she hadn’t had the time to talk when Fluttershy stopped by earlier that morning.
Applejack for her part hadn’t even seen Fluttershy that day. Fluttershy knew today was the Sisterhooves Social. Usually she came by to watch for a few minutes before going off to do… Well, whatever it was that she did. So she hadn’t been all that surprised by anything really, except when Spike suddenly showed up at the farm completely out of breath and gasping something about Twilight, Owlowicious, a letter and Fluttershy’s place.
Rainbow was actually really worried, this was the first time in a long time she’d been too busy with weather duty to spend this day with Fluttershy. She didn’t doubt that the timid yellow pegasus had tried to kill herself. Fluttershy would have probably thought that she was a burden to her friends and wanted to end being one. Still, Rainbow was confident that somepony would have stopped her. More confident than Twilight at least, she really didn’t know enough about Fluttershy.
It wasn’t like this was the first time all of them had been too busy on this day. It was a day Fluttershy always had marked on her calendar, and not because it also coincidentally fell on the same day as Applejack’s Sisterhooves Social. Rainbow remembered the first time she’d learned what her fellow pegasus really felt about their friendship, it happened before Twilight even came to Ponyville…
Pinkie suddenly popped in front of Rainbow Dash. “No time for a flashback, Dashie, we’re here!”
“Huh?” Rainbow blinked her thoughts away and spotted their friend off in the distance. As was typical these days, she wasn’t alone.
Twilight spotted Fluttershy and a sense of relief filled her, making her almost fall over as her legs became shaky and she let out a great big sigh of relief. “Fluttershy!” Smiling, she started to gallop towards her. Before she got within a mile of her friend, however, a strange white-coated pegasus was blocking her path, shaking her head.
Rainbow smiled. “Hey, Blossom, how is she?”
The strange pony tapped her hoof on the ground three times.
“That bad, huh?” Rainbow shook her head. “Sorry, I should have known.”
Blossomforth nodded, aiming a pointed glare at the sheepish-looking cyan pony.
“Rainbow, who is this?” Applejack frowned slightly.
Rainbow Dash smiled as she turned to the others who all looked confused, though Twilight looked like she was about to explode with frustration. “This is Blossomforth, one of Fluttershy’s friends.”
“But we’re Fluttershy’s friends,” Twilight said.
“Yes, I must admit I’m surprised she knows anypony else as comfortably as she knows us.” Rarity studied the white pegasus in front of her; she had a stunningly white coat with a light pink mane. It was complemented quite nicely with a matching green colored streak, and her cutie mark were two blossoms the same color as her mane and tail, the pink one larger than the green.
“That’s because she doesn’t talk about them around you guys,” Rainbow stated, smiling slightly. “See, these are the friends she made the first time she got to feeling this way. Whenever she gets this depressed they’re always nearby, keeping an eye on her for me.”
Blossomforth nodded, smiling warmly at the other ponies.
Pinkie smiled back. “See, Twilight, I told you Fluttershy wasn’t hurt.”
Twilight shook her head. “I don’t understand any of this! Why did Fluttershy write that letter to Princess Celestia and go to all the trouble of sending it with Angel to my place, if she has these other friends to help her deal with her depression and feelings of inadequacy?”
“That’s easy enough to answer, Twilight.” Another pegasus floated down from above the trees, a soft smile gracing her lips. “She was reaching out, in her own special way, and I’m sad to say we weren’t as prepared as we usually were today.”
“But what’s so fired important about today?” Applejack studied this second pegasus curiously. A hint of suspicion in her eyes, as she didn’t recognize her from Ponyville. With a coat like hers, she was certain she’d remember her. This pony was a stunningly bright color that could almost be pink, if pink could be that hot. She had a fiery red, orange and yellow mane which matched her coat color quite nicely, and three feathers of various sizes represented her cutie mark.
The mysterious pegasus shook her head. “Today’s the day she fell out of Cloudsdale and almost died; the annual migration of the Butterflies. Fluttershy likes to come to the clearing where she first met her animal friends and watch as they flap about. Sometimes she gets the urge to invite all of you, and then when she realizes you’re all so busy… Well, things like that letter happen. But we usually stop her in time, and remind her that she’s not a burden, just like we aren’t burdens to society ourselves.”
Blossomforth averted her eyes timidly and struck the ground with her hoof again, this time she made five clopping sounds.
“Oh yes, where are my manners. My name’s Feathermay, and Blossomforth and I, along with Fluttershy’s other Pegasi friends, represent the Society of Pegasus Protectors.” Feathermay grinned as she held out a hoof.
“The society of what?” Twilight blinked and stared dumbfounded at the words.
Rainbow chuckled. “Not all ponies are created equally, Twi. A certain gray-coated mailmare got really mad one day when she found a young foal alone in her home on one of her mail routes. She vowed she’d never let anypony do that again, so she gathered up some of the fastest fliers she knew and set up this support group for lost and abandoned ponies.”
Twilight stared at Rainbow as if she might change into a Gryphon at any moment. “Are you telling me that there’s some group of ponies out there, who go around checking up on anypony and everypony that might be at risk of… Committing suicide?”
“That’s us in a hayloft,” Feathermay said with a wink. “We’re mostly a support group for anypony, but Blossomforth and I, along with the rest of the team, work mostly with other pegasus ponies like Fluttershy. Miss Hooves also organized a group of unicorns to help other unicorns, and earth ponies for other earth ponies. She figured it would be more comforting that way.” Standing proudly, she turned to eye Fluttershy, who appeared to be quietly watching the butterflies fluttering about, oblivious to their conversation.
Twilight finally noticed the soft gray-coated blonde haired pegasus nearby. “Is that Derpy?”
“Nah, that’s Lily Blossom, Derpy’s so busy with her regular mail route she only comes personally when it’s a really bad case. But Fluttershy’s not so bad; at least she has friends like you to help her the rest of the year. Some of the other ponies we help aren’t so fortunate.” Feathermay sighed briefly and then shook herself of the melancholy feelings.
Pinkie giggled. “Everypony needs somepony once in a while.”
Twilight flopped down into the grass, tucking her legs under her as her head reeled with this new information. “I need to sit down.”
Rarity smiled gently. “Twilight, dear, you are sitting.”
“Oh yes, so I am.” Twilight chuckled tonelessly.
Rainbow sighed. “You guys should head back home now. Fluttershy’s going to be mortified enough as it is when she realizes we came running because of that letter.”
Pinkie gasped. “And I left the muffins in the oven!” She vanished in a blur, leaving behind a faint pink trail.
Rainbow stared at her retreating form, briefly wondering how she did that.
Rarity nodded. “I too am remiss in my duties; I left Sweetie Belle all alone and quite frankly I think Fluttershy is in perfectly good hooves with Feathermay here.”
“Darn right, plus I’ve still got some cleanin’ up ta do after that Social. Feathermay, ya tell Derpy from me, if she ever needs my help with any of them there abandoned or depressed feelin’ ponies I’m always willin’ ta lend a hoof.” Applejack adjusted her hat and quietly started off for home.
“We’ll be sure to keep you and your hospitable family in mind, Applejack.” Feathermay grinned.
“I’ve still got a storm to finish fixing up for tonight.” Rainbow eyed Twilight uncertainly. “Are you sure you’re gonna be ok, Twi?”
Twilight gave a brief nod. “I’ve just got a lot to think about, Rainbow, I didn’t even know ponies could feel that way. I mean, I’ve read all about these psychological disorders. I recognized Fluttershy had what I thought was a mild case of depression, with perhaps a bit of an unhealthy fixation on her own self-worth in the eyes of other ponies, but I never thought she was ever in risk of taking her own life, or that some other pony recognized the need for helping others deal with such things. I think… I think I seriously need to have a talk with Derpy.”
Rainbow shrugged. “Sure, well, ok, Twi. I gotta fly, but tell Fluttershy I’ll be by tonight, same as always, for that slumber party of hers, Feathermay.”
“Can do, Rainbow.”
Blossomforth sat down next to Twilight and leaned against her, offering support and comfort in her own silent way.
Feathermay flexed her wings and took back to the air, to land once again on the branch of the nearby tree where she’d been maintaining her silent vigil.
Twilight turned to the stunningly white pegasus with a thoughtful look. “Are all you ponies in the Society for Pegasus Protection this way?”
Blossomforth cocked her head to the side in question.
Twilight frowned slightly. “What I meant was, how do you harden your heart against the things you’ve surely seen?”
Blossomforth broke into a sad smile.
Twilight formed an ‘oh’ with her mouth in understanding. She wasn’t even sure how she understood such a simple gesture. “You’ve been where Fluttershy was before, haven’t you?” she guessed.
Blossomforth nodded and wrapped a wing over Twilight’s back in silent understanding.
“Because you can’t speak? Were you born that way or was it an accident?”
Blossomforth shook her head and pointed at her belly with a hoof.
“Ah, born that way, I see.” Twilight’s eyes shone with unwept tears. “I’m a bad friend.”
Blossomforth shook her head and gently caressed Twilight’s back with her wing.
“Pony, no tears shed you. Strength, Fluttershy takes from you, be not saddened by this new understanding of friend, you have.”
Twilight blinked back the tears to find a fourth pegasus mysteriously appearing from out of the grass. Staring at some pony she didn’t recognize, she wondered why they spoke so strangely.
“Flitterheart am I. Special friendships you have, Twilight Sparkle, special friendships that grow with understandings new everyday.” With a gentle smile Flitterheart also sat down beside Twilight and leaned against her, offering strength. “Glad words you shall have for Fluttershy when she is done butterfly watchings. New strength will you have for her?”
Twilight found herself smiling despite all of the pain and heartache she’d endured that day. “I understand, Flitterheart, thank you. I think I’ll send Princess Celestia that letter from Fluttershy after all, with a bit of editing from me when I get back to the library, but tonight… Tonight I’m going to spend an evening with my friend.”
Flitterheart smiled and nodded.
Blossomforth grinned and let out a silent laugh of joy.
Watching from her tree, Feathermay gave silent thanks to the gray coated mail-mare that had started it all. It filled her heart with joy whenever she managed to help somepony new out, even if they weren’t a pegasus.
