What if God Were One of Us?

by PinkamenaPiePrincess

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Applejack, Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Random
Length: 1215

Celestia spends a day as an Earth Pony after Applejack accuses her of not understanding earth pony problems

Princess Celestia is high and mighty in a lot of ways, motherly and mentor-like in more. But her proteges have almost always been unicorns, with one or two pegasi, and not one earth pony in all of her over 1000 years of life. When Applejack, staying true to her Element of Honesty, even with the Princess, bluntly states that Princess Celestia understands little of what it's like to be an earth pony, the princess realizes the flaw in her understanding of her subjects. Turning to a newly reformed old friend, Celestia begs to be an earth pony for a day. What happens, nopony could have guessed.

Published 2013-01-28 06:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-04 00:44:25 UTC

Chapter One: The Element of Honesty

The Element of Honesty

"What brings you here to the palace, my dear friend, Applejack?" Celestia asked her student's friend.

"Beggin' yer pardon, yer majesty," the earth pony began, "But them new taxes y'all'er imposin' on agriculture, they ain't exactly fair."

Celestia looked shocked. Not fair? The alicorn ruler of Equestria prided herself on her fairness and reasonable judgment. In all of her years of ruling, she'd only once had someone complain about something being not fair about her rule...and that had ended with her sister locked in the moon.

"My dear Applejack, I must ask you to explain," the princess said, a small frown, not of disapproval but a rare one of confusion on her regal face.

"Beggin' yer pardon, princess, but agriculture is almost an ent'rely earth pony dominate field. You'll get a couple 'o pegasi growin' flowers here an' there and a couple of unicorns 'spearmentin with growin' magic, but agriculture, the kind y'all'er taxin'? Almost all Earth ponies. I mean, we're called earth ponies because of our connection to the ground. We don't have any special wings or horns that light up an' do magic, so we jus' rely on our natural strength and earthy talents."

"Weather taxes limit pegasi, and taxes on dangerous spells, unicorns," the princess pointed out.

"Yeah, but y'all only tax dangerous weather like tornadas and y'all admitted that the magic taxes are only on purchases of dangerous spells that only a unicorn like Twilight would even be able ta learn. Yer taxin' the shippin' of all kinds of crops, from my apples ta Golden Harvest's carrots. It ain't fair and it seems ta me that y'all don' understand to much about earth ponies, if y'all'll forgive ma bluntness."

Celestia was momentarily awed into silence. Applejack had always shown a knack for being both respectful and brutally honest, as her element might suggest, and sometimes even somewhat cheeky, as an old letter of hers proved. But she had never spoken so bluntly to the princess, and her honesty hit a nerve with in the princess. Not one of anger, not at all. But one of...shame. For the Element of Honesty spoke the full on truth. Celestia was woefully unaware of the lives of earth ponies, because she'd never experienced their lives. She taught mostly unicorns, and a few pegasi, and had the abilities of both. And while she also had the abilities of an earth pony, she rarely used them and certainly used them less than her powers of magic and flight.

"Ah guess ah best be goin' then," Applejack said, snapping Celestia out of her shock.

"No, wait. You're right Applejack. I need help understanding the plight of the earth pony. I have...woefully neglected that part of myself and my kingdom. As an alicorn and as your ruler, I represent all the races of ponies, not just unicorns and pegasi. I think it's time I learned a lesson or two. Applejack, would you do me the greatest honor of teaching me?"

Now it was Applejack's turn to be stunned into silence. Celestia knew her request had to seem odd to the earth pony. After all, Celestia purposefully held herself slightly above her subjects, always a mentor, never a student. But this time, she was wrong, and after over a thousand years, she could put aside her stubborn pride in order to admit that.

"Ah...Princess, that's...Ah mean...of course," Applejack cleared her throat. "I'll teach ya all I can about earth ponies and our way of life and about the kind of magic we can use, though I ain't exactly a practitioner mahself. Ah could use some lunch though, I'm a might hungry."

"Of course," Celestia clapped her fore-hooves and two unicorn servants appeared. Celestia winced as this reminded her of another flaw in her knowledge. Her servants, guards, and other personal staff were 90% unicorns and pegasi. There were earth pony guards, but only a few, and they'd only been appointed during Shining Armor's time as captain. Before that, she'd never had earth pony guards, only unicorns and pegasi.

Knowing Applejack's preference for simple foods, Celestia ordered sandwiches, and then stepped off of her throne and laid down in order to be at Applejack's level and not intimidate her.

"Right," the orange pony began, clearing her throat. "Earth ponies do things a little bit dif'rently than unicorns or pegasi. I'm going ta start with Ponyville, bein' that it's an earth pony town. We have a couple traditions out there. Where as unicorns change the seasons magically, an' Ah'm sure that's a might lovely sight, earth ponies don' have that option when there ain't any unicorns about. In Ponyville, all four seasons are changed by hard hoof work, with help from the pegasi at this day an' age. In mah Granny's day, ponies created huge fans that were cranked to blow clouds away and when Cloudsdale decided we needed rain, that's when we needed rain. Snow is melted manually, these days by pegasi, in those days by earth ponies runnin' back and forth, sometimes Winter Wrap Up took days. An' that's jus' Winter. Yer a fan of Fall, so I know you know about the Runnin' of the Leaves. All of these traditions in Ponyville stem from an earth pony's need to do things herself. We don' like havin' to rely on magic or wingpower because those things ain't part of us. We gotta do things with our physical strength and our bare hooves."

Celestia was paying rapt attention. She knew most of this, though hearing it from Applejack's point of view was enlightening. Earth ponies strove for independence, though not to the point of breaking away from the rest of Equestria.

"Now on ta food. Earth pony talents tend ta have ta do with growin' things or cookin' things. Very few bakers in Equestria are anythin' but earth ponies, even here in Canterlot and like Ah said before, almost no non-earth pony is a farmer or commercial gardener. Towns founded by earth ponies, like Ponyville and Appleloosa, put a strong influence on agriculture and their whole towns tend to be based around it. Ponyville is more modern these days, but Appleloosa's entire livelihood rests on their apple orchard. Dodge Junction relies on its cherries, and even Ponyville wouldn't be where it is with out Sweet Apple Acres, if ah do say so mahself. Earth ponies put a lot of pride into growin' anythin', even jus' flowers, and on bakin' things. Even Pinkie Pie, who ain't yer typical earth pony, is a baker. Berry Punch's family owns a vineyard. All of us make edibles. An' ya cain't take that away from us or upset that with out hurting our pride as well as our livelihood."

Celestia was beginning to see. But knowing was not the same as understanding.

"Anythin' else y'all wanna hear about today? It's a brief lesson, ah know, but..."Applejack began.

"No, Applejack. Merely knowing isn't going to be good enough. I have to become."

Not a Real Chapter

Hey y'all PinkamenaPiePrincess here.

This story has been taken over for me by chaos2012. Link to his version is here:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/128059/what-if-god-were-one-of-us

I will also post a blog post about it.
Thanks for your support.

Author's Note

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/128059/what-if-god-were-one-of-us