The Conversion Bureau: The Fall of Icarus
by Dafaddah
Author's note:A Big thanks to Microshazm and SecondLaw for editing. This story has also borrowed - with the author’s gracious permission - elements and characters from MidnightShadow’s “The Ambassador’s Son”. My thanks also to TotallyNotaBrony for an excellent suggestion.
Jeffrey Keith Toner was nothing special. At least that’s what he hoped, sitting in a corner booth in Larry’s Juke Joint. He wore a patched jumpsuit that had obviously seen better days. A pale complexion and shaggy brown hair completed the image of the average late twenties favela dweller who had lucked into a few bits for a nano-beer.
The former twoper carefully kept his arms on the grimy plastic tabletop and nursed the beer in question, trying hard to look inconspicuous. He drank as little of the beer as possible, hoping it wouldn’t react with his cancer medication or cause any problems for his failing liver. He also resisted the urge to touch his pants pockets to check if their contents were still there. Jeffrey was carrying his life’s savings in untraceable US cash. Actual cash was rare these days. He would not likely make it out of this sector alive if any of Larry’s usual denizens detected he was walking around with such a fortune. It made him nervous, especially as he wasn’t the one who chose this bar for the meeting.
He glanced around the darkened room. There was a large old fashioned digital display next to the equally ancient 1950’s style jukebox from which Larry’s fine establishment got its name. The clock told him it was almost the agreed upon hour. The jukebox of course was a fake. Even if the black vinyl disks visible under its plastic dome didn’t spin anymore, the box could play two centuries’ worth of popular hits. For that real 'fifties feel, patrons bought metal coins that activated the jukebox. For a few bits they could set the ambiance of the whole bar to whatever struck their fancy. At the moment the only sound was from a three-v set above the bar showing what looked to be a baseball game.
Movement at the entrance caught Jeffrey’s attention. A light yellow unicorn wearing a straw hat had entered the bar and paused to scan the room. Larry’s was one of those shady places frequented by people that lived on the edge of the law. Pony patrons were not unheard of here, but they were rare enough that Jeffrey saw several pairs of eyes turn speculatively towards the new arrival.
The pony’s eyes stopped scanning when they lit on his booth. The stallion approached and nonchalantly took a seat next to Jeffrey. He placed his hat on the table, revealing a darker brown mane streaked with white, and placed two forelegs on the table, mirroring the human. “Are you Mr. Toner?” he asked.
Jeffrey noted the expensive shirt and something he had never seen before on a pony: cufflinks. He straightened up, creating a bit more space between himself and the unicorn. “Yes. Thanks for coming, er...”
“My brother and I would rather keep our names out of this. What we’re doing here may not be illegal, but it could cause trouble for some of our business interests back in Equestria.”
“Uh, ok.” Jeffrey felt himself begin to sweat. “So do you have the item?”
The pony gazed intently into Jeffrey’s eyes. “Yes indeed. One of a kind, and in mint condition I might add. It certainly was not easy to get out of Equestria. Do you have the money?”
Jeffrey swallowed nervously. Although the newsfeeds reported very little crime being perpetrated by ponies, he had only one shot at this. He did not want to be here and he did not want to trust this unicorn, but he knew this was his only chance. After all, he was going to die soon anyway. “Yes, I do.”
“Good! My brother is waiting in a taxi just outside. We’ve arranged for it to deliver you and the item to any destination in the city. Please follow me.” The pony smiled, threw a few bits on the tabletop, put his straw hat back on his head, and left the bar. Jeffrey followed a few paces behind.
The bright sunlight blinded Jeffrey after the gloom of Larry’s Juke Joint. He jumped back when he almost ran into the unicorn, who had stopped next to a taxi. Another unicorn emerged from within it, no doubt the brother of the first one as he looked identical save for a rather jaunty mustache.
Jeffrey lost all interest in the unicorns when he spied the device in the taxi: on the seat of the cab was a machine consisting of two tubes mounted in what looked like a backpack, with a complicated folded array of metal struts and fabric.
“It looks so small!” remarked Jeffrey. “Are you sure it’s sufficient for the job?”
“Absolutely, Mr. Toner,” said the other brother. “As requested, we have provided instructions in your language, although we fail to understand why you need them.”
The first brother spoke up. “The cash, Mr. Toner?”
Jeffrey took his entire life savings out of his pockets. It amounted to forty six thousand dollars. He handed it over gingerly to the pony, careful not to touch the Equestrian directly. The pony’s horn glowed as he counted the money using his magic. He didn’t notice Jeffrey taking a quick step back. It took only a second, then the unicorn smiled and stuck out a hoof. “It was a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Toner.”
Jeffrey stared at the pony limb. He closed his eyes, made a fist and bumped it to the offered hoof. Jeffrey felt his arm trembling after even so brief a contact.
The unicorn was only momentarily surprised. If offended he quickly hid it behind a very mercantile smile. “Goodbye then, Mr. Toner.” Both unicorns doffed their identical straw hats, and trotted off.
Jeffrey breathed a sigh of relief and sat in the taxi. He gave the machine his address and it took off. He thought about that brief touch. He rubbed his knuckles where they had contacted the unicorn’s hoof. I’m not afraid of ponies! he told himself, they know not to let magic touch humans. But avoiding exposure to even small additional quantities of thaumatic energy was a daily part of his life, a fear that made him shy away from physical contact with all Equestrians. He looked at the reddened skin, and remembered that day...
He and Sonia had been walking in the park when the attack happened. Like many young twoper couples they had come to “see the colors”.
“No wonder you keep coming here! It’s... better than grandma said it was!” said Sonia in awe. She wore a sundress, a wide brimmed hat, huge sunglasses, and stood on the green grass in the sunlight staring up at the blue sky. “It kind of makes you glad they decided to put up a conversion bureau in town, doesn’t it?” she said with an impish grin.
She often teased him about his determination not to 'go pony' until the last possible moment. Jeffrey put down the large picnic basket he was carrying and stepped up to her back. He held her from behind and kissed the nape of her neck. “I’ll be glad enough of the conversion bureau in five or six years and not before,” he whispered. Right now, there’s work,” he nibbled an earlobe, “and us,” a peck on the cheek, “and maybe a kid or two...” Sonia turned her head and their lips met in a long passionate kiss. After the kiss they gazed up together at the weather ponies. “You should see the fancy flying they do to drive the smog away. Stuff I'd only dream of doing in a stunt plane. Watching them never gets old.”
“Sure it doesn't, fly boy!” said Sonia with a mock skeptical air. She glanced around the park. There were a few families with young children, two ponies and good number of couples sunbathing. “And all those young bodies on display in the park have nothing to do with it, I guess?”
Jeffrey affected a disinterested air. “Nope. I never had a reason to look down until the earth ponies showed up.” He recalled the very rapid transformation of the park from the dreary grey that was all he had ever known to the lush green that now occupied the entire space. “The sunbathing only started up a few weeks ago.”
“I guess their grandmas must have told them what it used to be like too,” said Sonia. When news of the greenspace first spread, the very old had begun telling stories of strolling, playing, and even sunbathing in the park, and the city’s younger residents enthusiastically took it upon themselves to revive the traditions. Every time Jeffrey came there were more people in the park, including sunbathers. They even rediscovered the recipe for sunscreen when those first few sunbathers found out that ‘frying in the sun’ was not a euphemism.
Jeffrey sighed and stepped back. “Tell your granny she’s right. This is nice." He bent down to open the picnic basket. From it he extracted a blanket, which he spread on the grass.
Then Sonia did something completely unexpected: she took off her hat and pulled her sundress up over her head, revealing a black string bikini. Jeffrey was completely floored. She put the hat back on and sat down on the blanket, wearing the floppy hat, sunglasses, and admittedly very little else. With one pale arm she offered up a tube of sunscreen while Jeffrey sputtered incoherently. “Hmm. You’d look much more sophisticated if you shut your mouth and stopped drooling!”
It actually took an effort for Jeffrey to tear his eyes away. “Where j'ya get that... bathing suit?” he asked, his voice cracking like a teenager’s. He nevertheless had the presence of mind to grab the tube.
“My grandma had it in the things she kept from when she was a kid. Do you like it?” She smirked up at him.
“I think half the men in this park are now walking funny. Are you sure that thing is legal?” He poured some sunscreen into his hand.
“My, my! What an old-fashioned fuddy-duddy you are.” She grinned as he started slathering the lotion onto her pale skin. “You know they named these things ‘Bikinis‘ after some islands in the Pacific where they exploded some hydrogen bombs," she said as he applied the cream. “Someone described their effect on the average male to be about the same.”
“They weren’t exaggerating!” replied Jeffrey while trying to look stern. Sonia laughed at his expression.
Jeffrey heard a sound like a balloon popping, followed by a scream. He glanced up just in time to see one of the ponies throw what looked like a hand grenade at one one of the sunbathers. It hit him squarely in the chest and burst, purple running down his torso. The man dropped to the ground, his girlfriend screaming as she was hit by a similar projectile. The two ponies continued to throw potion grenades, working their way slowly towards him and Sonia as the park’s visitors began to panic.
“It's the PER! Let's get outta here!” He scrambled to pick up her sundress. There was a very loud pop close by. Jeffrey looked up. Sonia sat frozen, her mouth open in a silent scream. Purple goo covered most of her upper body. Their eyes met and she fainted.
Jeffrey heard gunshots. He turned and saw a lone man with a pistol running after the PER ponies, who took off in the direction of the park’s northern entrance. On the way the man calmly stopped by a pair of the PER agents’ victims. A geyser of blood and gore flew from first one then the other. At the sight of the carnage, Jeffrey felt his stomach spasm. He doubled over and vomited.
When Jeffrey recovered he saw the man with the gun approaching. In a panic, he threw the sundress over Sonia and stood between the man, who was no doubt an HLF agent, and his girlfriend. The man stared at him in anger for a moment and then ran out of the park.
Jeffrey nearly fainted in relief. He turned around and lifted the dress off Sonia, who was now shaking badly. She looked even paler than she had previously. He took the sundress and tried to wipe off the purple goo. The dress disintegrated leaving his fingers and palms covered in sticky purple. His hands began to tingle and then burn. Jeffrey screamed as the pain quickly rose in intensity. He shook his hands, but the goo remained. In desperation he rubbed his hands on the grass, but the burning sensation only grew worse. The agony built until it overwhelmed all his other senses. He staggered to his knees and then fell onto his side, jamming his hands between his knees in a futile effort to crush them out of existence. Finally, curled into a fetal ball, he passed out.
Jeffrey woke up in the hospital. Both of his hands were encased in large treatment balls tethered to either side of his bed. The pain was gone and he felt groggy. He faded in and out of awareness. An indeterminate amount of time later a doctor entered. He inspected displays on each of the balls, and smiled.
“Well, Mr. Toner. It looks like you’re going to get out of this reasonably okay."
Jeffrey nodded. "What about my hands?" he asked in rasping voice.
"We were afraid the nanites might have done permanent damage to your hands, but there wasn’t enough of them on you, so the best they could manage was to partially disassemble the skin. The damage is equivalent to third degree burns. We’re growing you the replacement skin as we speak and you should be good as new within a week. However, as a precaution we’ll keep your hands exposed to UV and EM emitters to neutralize any remaining nanites. There's also a bit of damage due to exposure to thaumatic energy. But no doubt about it, you’re a very lucky man, Mr. Toner.”
The words dragged Jeffery up to full awareness. His eyes widened. “What about Sonia? My girlfriend was with me at the park. She got a much bigger dose! Doctor, what happened to her?”
The doctor’s expression remained neutral. “Thankfully, she did not suffer complications as you did. She’s just outside. If you’re feeling up to a visit I can send her in.”
Relief washed over Jeffrey, “Yes, doctor. I would very much appreciate that.”
The man left. A moment later there was a knock at the door. A pale white pegasus clip-clopped in and stopped at the side of his bed. Jeffrey began to hear a buzzing in his ears.
“Hello Jeffrey,” said Sonia’s voice. The pony smiled shyly, “Look, I’ve got wings now!”
Jeffrey stared aghast. They had gotten her. This pony was his Sonia. Tears came to his eyes, and he whispered a single word: “No.” His beautiful Sonia was gone, and their future together as twopers was gone. He felt everything he’d fought so hard for so long to achieve, clawing his way out of the favela and into the two percent, slipping through his fingers. “I’m not going back! It wasn’t all for nothing...”
The pony’s ears drooped low, as did her head. “Jeffrey, I...”
Tears fell to the sheets covering his chest. “No, this can't be happening. No!” He turned his head away from the stark reminder of the end of his dreams.
The pony looked up at him in betrayal. “Jeffrey... please look at me,” she begged. Seconds passed like eternities, and still he looked away. With a sob she turned tail and galloped from the room.
Jeffrey heard the sound of her hooves receding and realized what he’d just done. “Sonia, don’t go!” he wailed. He tried to pull his hands out of the treatment balls but they wouldn’t budge. Too late! he thought. He was still crying when the nurse came in to feed him an hour later.
Sonia wouldn’t answer his calls.
Still in the hospital a week later, the skin on his hands and forearms was successfully replaced. In the process the doctors discovered that his body had developed an extremely rare immune response to nanites. This disrupted the function of the anti-cancer nanites in his liver so he was forced to begin older conventional drug based treatments. The treatments made him so ill that he did not want to face anyone, let alone Sonia. He refused calls and visits, even when it was Sonia.
A week after that he his condition only worsened. Extensive scans revealed that the potion had in fact discharged thaumatic energy in several of his internal organs causing large scale damage. They also discovered he was now immune to all nanites, including conversion potion nanites, so for better or worse he was a human forever. As a consequence he had less than a year to live before dying of liver cancer, and ponification was no longer a treatment option. He decided Sonia was better off without him, but didn’t have the courage to face her. In the weeks that followed he continued to refuse her attempts at contact. Finally, she stopped trying.
Almost a month after the attack his situation had finally stabilized and begun to improve. The medication was working. The pain was bearable, even if his heart was heavy. As he left hospital that day they told him he was no longer fit to work. He was out of a job. He returned to an empty apartment. Sonia had emigrated to Equestria a week earlier.
In the end all he had was a severance package. He used a chunk of it to pay his rent for a year. He didn’t expect to live long enough to actually use any more. In a bit of good news the hospital informed him that they would not charge him for his cancer treatments because now his case was “interesting”. Without a job he took to wandering the streets, looking for something to distract him from his gloom.
The highlight of his existence became his weekly ultralight flights.
He had come to the small airfield in early in the morning as usual. On the bus ride to the airfield he saw at least a dozen pegasi hauling various improbably large contraptions behind them. Their rates for small cargo were unbeatable, and their commerce had provided the old hobby airport welcome new income.
Jeffrey approached the rental desk, staying clear of the pegasi. Before he had lost his health insurance, his doctors had told him that he had already received a borderline fatal dose of thaumatic energy, and so he should avoid any further exposure to magic if at all possible. This meant staying away from ponies and especially when they were engaged in magic. The rumor spread through the ranks of the ponies that he liked to keep his distance, a wish which they for the most part respected.
He arrived at the desk. “Good morning Hank. The usual, please.”
Hank smiled. Jeffrey was a regular and a friend. “Sure, Jeff. Just a sec and I’ll clear your flight.” He tapped a few keys. A moment later his smile faded. He looked up at Jeffrey. “Oh, man!” He hit a few keys and a vid window appeared over the desk in front of Jeffrey. It showed the flight plan request, with the large red ‘DENIED’ pop-up in the middle of the window. The smaller text in the pop-up read: ‘Pilot’s license has been revoked for the following reasons: prescription drug dosage above the safe limit for operation of aircraft. Please refer to case #ULPLFPR3852-908735’.
“I’m sorry, Jeff. You know I can’t let you take anything out solo.” He smiled in embarrassment. “I’ll let you know if anyone wants company for a flight.”
Jeffrey’s brain for some reason refused to function for a moment. He sighed. “No, don’t bother, Hank.” He turned away, terrified of the empty day in front of him. He wandered around the airport. Hunger eventually led him to the cafeteria. In a haze he bought a bowl of nano-oatmeal and sat down at the closest of the several large round tables. He hadn’t noticed the ponies sitting there until one made a noise like halfway between a whinny and clearing its throat. A bronze coated pegasus mare slid a genuine apple from Equestria over the table to Jeffrey. “One flyer to another: that stuff ain’t edible unless you spike it with a few slices of apple. Then t’ain’t so bad a-tall!” He didn’t know her name, but he’d flown formations with some of the pegasi before. He recognized her as one of the Equestrians who he’d traded maneuvers with a few weeks earlier.
Jeffrey picked up the apple. Its scent was unlike anything he’d ever smelled before. He stared at its perfect form. “I don’t know if I deserve it. They took my wings away this morning.” He slowly placed the apple back onto the tabletop.
The mare’s eyes grew big as saucers. “How can they do that?!” She trembled in sudden emotion. Of course the pegasus would see such an occurrence as the end of the world.
He raised a hand placatingly. “Health reasons. Because of my meds they say I’m no longer fit to fly.” He picked up the apple again and took a bite. The flavor was unlike anything he’d ever tasted. It was overwhelming, even intoxifying. His senses reeled as he chewed and finally, reluctantly swallowed the mouthful. “Please don’t be too upset. I don’t have wings growing out of my back like a pony or a gryphon or a dragon. I might still be able to get my license back before it’s too late.”
“Whadaya mean too late?” asked the bronze pegasus.
The creature sitting next to him might have been an alien, but she was a flyer and had been a wingmate, even if only briefly. And he was going to die anyway, so why not tell her everything. So he did. She quietly shed tears more than once during his narration. At the end she was attentive, and Jeffrey could see that she was engaged in some heavy thinking.
“Look, I can’t promise you anything. But do you think you can meet me here in the caf in exactly two weeks? Name’s Penny.”
He had nothing to lose by agreeing, so he did. “I’m Jeffrey. Sure. Two weeks.”
Without another word the pegasus galloped off, exited the door and took flight, something they weren’t supposed to do so close to the airfield. She quickly disappeared into the distance.
Jeffrey slowly took a spoonful of the oatmeal. After the intensity of the apple it was like chewing on air. He took a plastic knife and cut a few thin slices of the apple into the oatmeal. He tried another spoonful and smiled. Damn, she was right!
Two weeks later the cancer and the pain were only worse. His doctor had to increase the medication’s dosage even higher. Nevertheless he made the trip to the airfield and saw the bronze pegasus seated at the same table with a pale yellow unicorn wearing a straw hat. What they proposed to him was truly a long shot, but if it worked out he would again be able to fly. He agreed with the unicorn’s terms. He gave his contact information and expected to never see them again. A few days later he got the call to meet the unicorn at Larry's Juke Joint.
Jeffrey took the elevator up to the roof. Being a twoper building it had power 24/7. He had laboriously put on the device while still in his apartment. In preparation he had not taken his meds for two days, so every movement was accompanied by a chorus of pain. But to do this he needed his head clear. The device strapped onto his back just like a particularly unwieldy backpack consisting of two large cylinders, each connected to a complex assemblage of metal struts. Thankfully there was no-one in the elevator with him. The bell rang and the doors slid open.
The bronze pegasus mare was there waiting for him. A few other pegasi waited a short distance away. They had been told about his condition. He walked up to her. She seemed sad. “You still sure you wanna do this?” she asked.
“Hi, Penny. More than I’ve ever wanted anything. You know what to do when my flight ends. Take the rig off and return it to Equestria. I wouldn’t want it to tempt someone who wasn’t in my condition.” He had read the instructions. Now he had to see if the rig worked with a human. He closed his eyes and felt the device on his shoulders. The more he concentrated on them, the more he could ‘feel’ them, as if they were part of his body. He imagined extra limbs attached to his shoulder bones and ‘flexed’ their muscles. The struts unfurled, and Jeffrey stood below two majestic wings of a gossamer-thin fabric. He experimentally beat each wing. The force they exerted almost lifted him into the air.
Even through pain he could feel something new: something that died with every wing beat. He didn’t care. Death was coming for him anyway. He looked to the pegasus with a big grin on his face. “Come-on girl, it’s time to fly!” He ran forward to the edge of the building and jumped off.
She wiped a tear from from her muzzle and jumped after him.
Jeffrey swept his wings back to gather speed. Penny shot past him in a power dive, wings tight on her flanks. He imagined his new limbs bending as if they were arms, elbows back and wrists forward close to ears and fingers trailing in the wind. The speed of his dive nearly doubled.
From below, Penny looked back at him, squinting in the wind. She grinned, winked and slowly spread her wings, pulling out of the dive. Jeffrey waited a moment till he had almost caught up and then imitated her movements. He pulled up immediately behind and to her left, his right wingtip inches away from her flank.
"Not bad, for a fledgeling!" Penny shouted. "Let's see if you can keep up." She slowly banked right and then left. Jeffrey followed suit wobbling slightly as he learned to feel the wind with his wings. Penny repeated the maneuver several times until her wing-mate was able to keep in perfect formation.
"Okay, human," shouted Penny, "you ever wonder how pegasi can do stunts without a feathered tail?"
"You bend the wind," Jeffrey bellowed back. "I read up on pegasi flight just after the weather ponies arrived." He suddenly realized he had no idea how that worked. "Okay, sansei, how do you do it?" Up ahead he noticed a row of tower blocks approaching.
"You imagine you can see the wind, and you push or pull on it. Let's try it together, and this time don't move your wings, just the wind. Pitch up!" She started to rise.
Jeffrey imagined a strong updraft and was suddenly pulled upwards. He shot way past Penny, who flew up to join him. "Try it with a bit more finesse next time! Next lesson. Yaw to port." She demonstrated and Jeffrey followed closely this time.
"Hey, I think I'm getting the hang of it!"
Penny's smile showed teeth. "Get ready now sport. A roll you do with your wings only, and no cheating! Roll clockwise." She started slowly rotating as did Jeffrey in reasonable synchronization.
They leveled out of the barrel roll and Penny showed a grin full of mischief. "Not bad! So now let's see if you can keep up, fledgeling." She dove suddenly and began to weave through the row of buildings with Jeffrey in close pursuit. It was exhilarating beyond anything he had ever experienced. Sometimes in an ultralight he achieved a feeling of being one with the craft. But this... This is being one with the very air itself! he thought. He had never felt so completely safe and at ease. He wasn't flying, he was flight.
Soon, the other pegasi joined in the game, each one taking a turn at teaching Jeffrey an aerobatic trick. As his repertoire increased, they played games of tag, did complex formation flying and played with the abandon of children given infinite space.
For a glorious hour that day, Jeffrey Keith Toner rode the sky with the pegasi of Equestria. He flew with grace and agility and joy. An eternity later that was over all too soon, he felt his body failing and glided to the ground in a small wooded area outside of town. Even as he landed, he fell to his knees. Slowly he detached the Bevelmeiter device, which slid off of his back. He turned laboriously and leaned back onto to device. Penny landed next to him.
Already his breathing was ragged, and veins of black thaumatic poisoning criss-crossed his skin. “You don’t have to stay and see this.” He grunted in pain. “It will be over soon.” The pegasus approached him gingerly, and sat down next to him. She reached out and grabbed his wrist with the frog of her hoof.
“And a friend knows when to stick around,” she said, her voice husky.
“Thank you Penny,” said Jeffrey, as his vision began to narrow. “You have been a good friend.” His fingers curled around her hoof. It took only minutes for his life to fade. Penny heard Jeffrey’s heart beat one last time, and then go silent. She leaned over and kissed the human on his forehead. “Goodbye, Jeffrey,” she said, and then wept for her friend.
She wasn’t sure just when, but later the other pegasi landed next to them. Together they buried the human’s body as he had requested. The Bevelmeiter device would be discreetly returned to Tacksworn by the Flim Flam Brothers. But first Penny had a delivery to make: a letter to a white pegasus mare named Sonia.
Together they took to the air, leaving the grave behind. Above it they had placed a stone Jeffrey had prepared for the event. Engraved on its surface was a short passage. Penny circled the site, and read the words one last time:
Never regret thy fall,
O Icarus of the fearless flight
For the greatest tragedy of them all
Is never to feel the burning light.
