Tonight was a good night to fall.
Rainbow Dash stood atop a dense cloud and looked down on Ponyville, lit merrily by the light that filtered out from foggy windows rimed with frost. It was a cold night; each breath she exhaled whirled about until disappearing into the nothingness that surrounded the pegasus-crushed her. Above, the moon was waning, losing itself to the blackness of Luna’s sky.
Breathing in for a final time, she closed her eyes. She had something she needed to do, and there was no way she’d back down from the challenge this time. The pegasus had already failed once.
Exhaling, she fell backwards into the still night; the cloud began to retreat as she dropped. Her wings, tied tightly to her side, fidgeted instinctively- attempted to gain control of the spiraling motion before it was too late. But it was already too late. The simple act of Rainbow Dash throwing herself off the cloud in the first place should have proved that.
Though the drop would only be ten seconds at most, an eternity of memory and emotion fell over the cyan pegasus. It all happened so fast. She was set and ready for the curtain call- her final assessment. The years and years of flight training and work in the Wonderbolt Academy would all come to this one moment where she’d either metaphorically soar, or fall. She fell, and now she was actually falling. The only thing that linked the two events together was that they were both at her own discretion. She hadn’t been sabotaged, or tricked- she had just failed, and it was that fact that made the whole situation so unbearable. Throughout her short life, she had held herself together with the feats she could perform- won friendship from admiration, not compassion.
And still the pegasus fell-a gray streak amid the infinite span of emptiness-insignificant and alone; painfully alone.
Her friends were long gone and it was all because of her. She had stopped sending letters as time had gone by- became so consumed with the notion of becoming a Wonderbolt, that in the process, she’d neglected her friends. For a time, her ambitions held the guilt away. Now that that dream had ended, however, exposing reality once more, she’d been filled with a deep despair.
She was alone, tumbling through space.
If she could, she would start it all over again. Push harder and become even better. She would remain devoted to the others; never forget a letter, never forget to drop by and say hello, and never forget to keep in touch.
But life doesn't work like that, does it? We only get one shot, one opportunity. If we mess it up; it’s game over.
Above, the stars had disappeared behind the cloud she had fallen from- lost in the hazy turmoil that plagued the upper levels of the atmosphere. The tears the pegasus spilt were torn away from her muzzle as her momentum increased-as the wind howled-taking her warm breath away and flinging it into the frigid night. A trace of uncertainty crept into her grief wracked mind, and try as she might, she couldn't stifle it. Above, the cloud cover parted to give her a final glance at the romantic moon; a mere personification of those romantic dreams she’d never be able to pursue.
She’d turn up in the newspaper the following morning; a suicide was uncommon so the ponies would want to hear the story. She’d be the center of attention for a while until the following week, when a new edition would come in; she’d be old news then and the ponies would move on.
Popularity, the word is meaningless in death. All are equal in death.
But how would her friends react to her suicide? Would they be sad, confused, maybe even relieved? She’d become a jerk. Twilight had stopped visiting her because of it; the Wonderbolt-in-training never had time for friends when work was present. Out of all the emotions that threatened to choke Rainbow Dash, guilt was the most predominant.
The world could do with one less ignorant pegasus.
Above, the clouds had cleared, moving on to a darker horizon elsewhere. In sudden splendor the moon appeared- bathing Dash in its forgiving light. From somewhere in the distance, a foal’s laugh barraged her after being caught on the crosswind that resided closer to the ground.
Rainbow Dash thought back to when she was a filly- before even Junior Flight School. She had always been the competitive sort, and though it may of helped her when she was younger-let her fit in with the other tryhards-it only hampered her now. That competitive nature repelled many other potential mates; they claimed it was exhausting.
Rainbow Dash would die alone.
But would she? She could still go back to Twilight, beg for forgiveness and try to establish a connection. Then maybe the others would come back and she would feel complete. They could laugh together, share stories about success and failure; they would work and grow old together- she wanted to grow old.
Her wings began to tighten against the binding in an attempt to break free. Insistently they tried, and yet it was no longer simple instinct. In a sudden epiphany, Rainbow Dash had regained the will to live. Her heart soared beyond the confines of the tight elastics- before plummeting as she noted how close the ground was getting. She tugged harder, and yet instead of snapping the band simply stretched.
Panic flooded in; time was running out.
Grunting with exertion she gave one final attempt at freedom, one final attempt to redeem herself on this Hearth Warming Eve. She pulled with all her might, contorting her body as she desperately tried to free her wings and soar… alas, it was to no use.
Every attempt was met by the same unforgiving bounds of reality- those elastics that feigned flexibility.
Confronted with her approaching doom, a calm resolve filled Rainbow Dash’s body- even if by some Celestia Blessed scenario she could break free, she wouldn’t have the time to buffer her fall. She’d hit the ground either way. Looking over her shoulder she spotted the streets of Ponyville, the trees lit with blazing color; a peaceful paradise of snow and light. She knew that somewhere amongst the streets, five ponies would be tucking in for the night.
She imagined Fluttershy snuggled close to her pillow, oblivious to the drama that was unfolding in the sky- basking in the warmth of the fire she’d of definitely built. Maybe her animal friends would be snuggled in beside her- their warmth eliciting a small, satisfied smile of her face.
She imagined Applejack, bathed in the same moonlight that now covered her own coat in diffused light. The apple trees would be dark and reassuring silhouettes against a darker sky. Applebloom might be beside her, and together, they would watch the stars until sleep overcame them.
Pinkie Pie would be planning the Hearth Warming celebration for the following morning, where she would surprise Mr. and Mrs. Cake with presents for their young, and in turn, receive a gift or two from them. The atmosphere would be charged with gratification and kinship.
Rarity would be up at this ungodly hour designing her newest Hearth Warming’s fashion line, quietly fussing over every stitch and button, fully aware of a peacefully slumbering filly on the floor above her.
Twilight Sparkle; she’d be reading a book or two- using the light from her fireplace or her horn to see the text. She might be snickering at a joke in that book, or crying at a sad part where the main protagonist-unable to fight any longer-ends her life. And Spike would be snoring softly beside her; she might have a hoof on her assistant’s side, raising and falling at each calm breath.
And yet all Rainbow Dash was doing was falling, not flying.
They are happy, and that was all that matters. The cyan pegasus thought, a ghost of a smile falling over her muzzle. At least she could find hope in that.
In a final flash, Dash’s life unfolded.
Those warm days where stories of triumph and tribulation were zealously cast on the wind or whispered in hushed tones. Cold nights of snow, warm nights of summer- those dog day long past- cast upon the wind like the countless stories told- the lessons learned. Time passing slowly or fast, age and complexity and commitments becoming predominate. Yet still, friends found the time to come together. Times when they could bask in each other’s presence, revel in the simplicity of friendship and that. Was. It.
Times like Hearth’s Warming Eve; a Hearth’s Warming Eve such as this one.
When the ground was a mere second away, something strange happened; a faint purple aura surrounded her, slowing her descent. The last thing she heard before hitting the ground was a desperate exclamation of ‘Rainbow Dash!”
And then Rainbow Dash was flying, not falling.
Author's Note
Posted on 24/01/2013
Hey all! I was seized with a sudden erg to write this story, so, following my instinct, I sat down two hours ago and wrote it.
Hope you enjoy.
~Syn3rgy
