Three's Company

by Seismic_Newton

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 2500

Derpy loses her job and moves in With Vinyl Scratch and Octavia.

Uh oh! Derpy, being the slightly klutzy yet misunderstood pony she is, has lost her job at the post office, and is in need of a place she can move into with Dinky while she gets her hooves back on the ground.

Vinyl decides to be a truly great friend and over her a place to live, but Octavia is not pleased with the idea of a third and fourth pony moving in with the two of them. While Vinyl, Derpy, and Dinky get along great and live happily together, Octavia has to learn how to have fun and allow her inner child shine through.

Another non-shipping story, this time in multiple parts

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-25 08:20:01 UTC

This Is What Friends Are For.

Octavia got home first. It had been a typical day with the orchestra—just more rehearsing for their next concert. They were going to be playing the Firebird Suite in Canterlot Gardens in just a fortnight, so it was this point in the routine where she got home around dusk. Every evening, though, seemed to be arriving later each day. Winter was wearing off, and the sun was returning to dominance.

She opened the door to find the flat completely dark. Vinyl must still be out with the band, she thought. Octavia flipped on the lights, and set down her cello in its corner of the living room. She walked into the kitchen and put the tea on. It was two hours past teatime, but she felt a hot cup of tea was always a good end to a day. While the water worked its way towards boiling, she started going through the refrigerator to decide what supper should be. That took a little bit of foresight, because if Vinyl would be home soon, it would have to be something she liked. But if Vinyl were to be out late again, she’d be able to make something nicer that she doesn’t get to eat often.

The lettuce she’d gotten fresh at the market the day before stood out to her. A nice salad would be nice, she thought. She saw a chicken breast in the meat drawer. Maybe a chicken salad. Octavia quickly had her mind set on what she was going to eat.

Just as the kettle came to a whistle, the sound of a rotating lock came into play and Vinyl walked through the door. “Hey Tavi!” she said, with a happy, bubbly attitude as usual.

“Hello, Vinyl,” Octavia responded, with slightly less personality. “How was the band today?”

“Great! We’re working on a couple of new songs, and I think we’ll be able to play them when we perform at the Rockit next week! How was the orchestra?”

“It was nice. We’re still working on the Firebird Suite for now.”

“Is that one written by Franz Liszt again?”

Octavia blushed as she heard that name. There was no hiding her fantasies of her favorite composer, despite the fact that he had been dead for over a century. “No, that one is Stravinsky,” she replied, turning her reddening face away.

“Right. That Stringskee guy. I can never keep them straight.” Vinyl trotted over to the couch and set her saddle bag at the foot of it.

“So how do you feel about chicken salad for supper?” Octavia asked as she put two bags of tea into the pot.

“Ew, no,” replied Vinyl. “That has healthy stuff in it. How about pizza? After all, it’s Friday.”

“What do you care that it’s Friday? You don’t have a job.”

“Yeah, but it’s Friday! You grow up with it being a magical day and you keep it magical still.”

“Well, maybe you should get a job. You might be able to pay your part of the rent for once.”

Vinyl had heard this a million times. “I’m not going to do that,” she replied. “Besides, I’m pretty sure we’re totally going to get a recording contract this week when we play at the Rockit! I hear there are going to be a couple of guys there from PieFace Records, and when they hear us tear the place apart, there’s no way they can turn us down! But anyway… pizza? Please?”

“We just had pizza last Friday. Can’t we have something else?” Octavia was still holding onto her idea of salad.

“Well, I sort of ordered the pizza anyway on the way home.”

Octavia sighed. “Where from?”

“Ponyville Pizza.”

“Well, that’s at least better than Saucy Bob’s. They don’t let any hair get into their food.”

Octavia opened the fridge to look at the salad ingredients, which she was still craving. Tomorrow, she assured herself. She poured the tea and went over to serve Vinyl, now lying on the couch.

Vinyl turned on the television to watch her cartoons. “I ordered about fifteen minutes ago, so it should be here in… fourteen minutes.

Twenty five minutes later, the pizza was free.

“Well, that was lucky,” said Octavia, picking a slice up, being careful not to get excessive grease on her hooves. “Thank Celestia for new employees, right?”

“Yeah.” Vinyl, being a unicorn, had an easier time with her food. “Hey, so did you hear what happened to Derpy?”

“No,” Octavia replied, mildly shocked. “What happened? Is she alright?”

“Well… she lost her job at the post office. She—well, you know how she can be kind of clumsy. She kept losing mail, breaking things, and delivering things to the wrong places. Too many ponies complained, and they just let her go today.”

“That’s terrible! How is she going to keep an income now?”

“That’s the thing. She can’t, really, because it’s going to be hard for her to find a new job. And, you know, being a single mother and all, money was already kind of tight but now… she’s going to end up losing her home because she’s not going to be able to make the payments.”

“Where is she going to live? I hope she won’t have to move away or settle for a shelter.”

“Well, luckily, Lyra and Bon Bon are letting her move into the guest room in their flat for right now until she can find a new job.”

“Wow… I can only imagine what this must be like for Dinky…”

“She’s really mature for her age. She’s able to understand what’s going on in these kinds of situations.”

“By the way, isn’t Derpy about our age? How is it that she has a foal in primary school already?”

“Oh. Yeah. It’s something having to do with a boyfriend in college. She doesn’t like to talk about it. All I know is it’s something having to do with a mysterious stallion in a blue box.”

“College?” Octavia was a bit surprised to hear that. “Derpy went to college?”

“Of course. You know that.”

Octavia was confused and in complete disbelief. “I don’t know that. Could you explain?”

“Well, she went to Manehattan University and got a degree in Liberal Arts and Philosophy. Pretty high GPA, too. I think she was one of the top ponies in her class. That’s what her cutie mark is for, too—the bubbles of inspiration and rational reasoning. You didn’t know that?”

Octavia was trying to reconfigure her perspective of the mare she’d only ever know to be a complete klutz. “No. I had absolutely no idea.”

“Oh. Everypony knows that.”

“But doesn’t she also have Asperger’s or something.”

“Yeah, kind of. Nopony knows for sure because she always diverts the conversation to something else.”

“Well, that and the fact that she’s, you know… so clumsy is probably why she had a hard time finding a job in the first place and had to settle for the post office.”

“Actually, she had a hard time because there aren’t a whole lot of jobs for ponies specialized in philosophy. And she’s kind of clumsy because she’s got like really terrible vision.”

“It seems to me like a combination of multiple factors.”

“Yeah, kind of. Must mostly just that there wasn’t a good job window for her. Except for writing, and she’s been trying to work more on that lately.”

“Really? Derpy writing a book? What about?”

“She likes to keep her work secret until it’s done, so nopony knows for sure. But there’s definitely a book. I’ve seen a few pages. But for now, she’s just going to have to find a new temporary job that can at least pay her mortgage.”

“I certainly hope Lyra and Bon Bon can take it. I mean, having Derpy and Dinky living with them for—um, how long, do you think?”

“Gosh, probably a few months or more.”

“…Living with them for a few months has just got to be so much trouble.”

“Well, they’re willing to put up with her, because she’s our friend and that’s what friends for.”

*****

The following two weeks continued in much the same way as they usually do.

Just as the kettle came to a whistle, the sound of a rotating lock came into play and Vinyl walked through the door. “Hey Tavi!” she said, with a happy, bubbly attitude as usual.

“Hello, Vinyl,” Octavia responded, with slightly less personality. “How was the band today?”

“Great! We’re working on a couple of new songs, and I think we’ll be able to play them when we perform at the Music Box next week! How was the orchestra?”

“It was nice. We’re going to start practicing some Gershwin for Canterlot Gardens in a few weeks. So how do you feel about chicken salad for supper?” Octavia asked as she put two bags of tea into the pot.

“Ew, no,” replied Vinyl. “That has healthy stuff in it. How about pizza? After all, it’s Friday.”

“What do you care that it’s Friday? You don’t have a job.”

“Yeah, but it’s Friday! You grow up with it being a magical day and you keep it magical still.”

“Well, maybe you should get a job. You might be able to pay your part of the rent for once.”

Vinyl had heard this a billion times. “I’m not going to do that,” she replied. “Besides, I’m pretty sure we’re totally going to get a recording contract this week when we play at the Music Box! I hear there are going to be a couple of guys there from Fat Possum Records, and when they hear us tear the place apart, there’s no way they can turn us down! But anyway… pizza? Please?”

“We just had pizza last Friday. Can’t we have something else?” Octavia was still holding onto her idea of salad.

“Well, I sort of ordered the pizza anyway on the way home.”

Octavia sighed. “Where from? Ponyville Pizza again?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that’s at least better than Saucy Bob’s. They don’t let any hair get into their food.”

Octavia opened the fridge to look at the salad ingredients, which she was still craving. Some day, she assured herself. She poured the tea and went over to serve Vinyl, now lying on the couch.

Vinyl turned on the television to watch her cartoons. “Hey, so did you hear what happened to Derpy?”

“No,” Octavia replied, mildly shocked. “What is it this time?”

“Well… you know how Derpy seemed to be doing pretty well at Lyra and Bon Bon’s?”

“Yes. They seemed really happy together when we visited them earlier in the week. And Dinky just adores those two!”

“Yeah, well, they sort of kicked her out.”

“What?!” Octavia was not expecting that. “That’s not like them to do that. Bon Bon, especially, is very patient. And Derpy is one of Lyra’s closest friends.”

“Well, they didn’t really kick her out. They more, really… sort of kindly asked her if she could find another place to live for now. They gave the excuse that there wasn’t quite enough room in their flat for another mare, a filly, and a lot of their stuff.”

“Well, as long as she didn’t take it too hard.”

“Of course not. Derpy never does. She just generally understood and they’re just as good friends as ever.”

“What did she do to prompt them to ask her to leave?”

“Well… you know how she can be… oblivious and all, and kind of really awkward. Basically, she was being kind of a… well… what would you call a cock-block between two mares? A strap-on block? But yeah. She was kind of getting annoying like that and they never could get time alone together.”

“Hm. Well, that sounds like Derpy. So where is she going to live now?”

“Well, that’s kind of what I was getting to. She’s going to live with us!”

“What?!” Octavia’s spinal cord did a backflip. “No! “She most certainly isn’t!”

“But why not?” Vinyl asked, in much the same way that a foal does.

“Vinyl, don’t you dare tell her she can live with us. There’s barely enough room here for your antics.”

Vinyl didn’t even notice Octavia’s usual little insult. “But I already told her yes. I’m going to be going over there tomorrow to help move her stuff here.”

“Vinyl…” Octavia said in her ultimate disappointed-in-Vinyl tone. “She’s moving in with us tomorrow? Why did you do that?”

“Because that’s what friends are for.”

Octavia sat down at the table she was near and put her face in her hooves, letting out a stressed and worried sigh. “You know there’s no extra room for her here, right? We don’t have guest room!”

“That’s all right! They can stay in my room!”

“No. I am not going to share a room with you again.”

“I never said I’d move into your room because of that. Derpy and I can be roommates! Or something. I’ll just get the air mattress out. I’ll sleep on that and Derpy and Dinky can sleep in my bed. I’ll be nice like that.”

“Vinyl, I don’t think the two of them are going to want to sleep in that bed, considering what you do in it late at night.”

Vinyl’s face blushed. “I… uh… w-what are you talking about?”

Octavia replied with a stern look. “Just wash your sheets really, really well. In fact, you know what? Just change them completely.”

The next morning, Vinyl got up earlier than usual to make a few preparations for Derpy and Dinky. She started her morning slowly. It was Saturday, after all. She took her usual morning shower, being sure to use up all the hot water, and then used the magic of shaking her head a lot in order to style her mane. It usually ended up about the same.

While she was waiting for her coat and mane to dry, she got the old air mattress out of the storage closet and set the electronic pump going in her room while she went out into the main room. When she did, Octavia was up and about, and clearly had been for a very long time. She had a bag of nails, bolts, and museum putty, along with a few tools. Her mane was all ragged and furled as it usually got when she was frustrated or overworked.

“What the heck are you doing, Tavi?”

“I’m securing everything breakable in our flat. I’m earthquake-proofing things. That way, in the event that there’s an accident that shakes things, and makes them fall and break, nothing will happen!”

“But Tavi, we’re in the middle of Equestria. You know there aren’t any fault lines out here.”

She gave Vinyl a sour look and said, “Exactly.”

Vinyl sighed. “Tavi, you’re a goofball. I’m going to go to Donut Joe’s and then help Derpy over here.”

The she walked out the door to go find her friend.