When Shit Hits the Fan , Embrace It

The only thing we have to fear is , fear itself - FDR

As I start to wake , I notice that I aint on the wartorn hill I was . " The bloody fuck? Were am I ? "  I say trying to stand up .

As I do , I notice that , at my feet , is a Browning Auto Rifle and a MI1919A4 .30 cal .

" What the fuck ? " I say first picking up the BAR and using the sling to put it on my shoulder , then lifting up the 40lb machine gun . As I look around , I see two duffle bag .

" What in the hell is goin' on ? If this is heaven , then why the fucking hell do I have two ..." I say trailing off

As I open the first one , I am shocked to see a S&W .44 mag revolver , a machete , and 12 MRE's .

" Okay , now I am kinda wierded out.. " I'v seen people hit by mine's , mortars , Maylasin Man-hunters, trap doors , and RPG's , but waking up in a unknown forest , with weapons and food , after being blown away by a mortar , I think it's safe to say , I aint in 'Nam anymore .

After putting the machete and revolver in a holster , and sheathe , I open the next bag . In it is 5 belts of .30 cal rounds , 12 Mags of 30-06 ( for the BAR ) and 10 .44 mag  speed loaders ..

All I can say once more is " What the bloody fuck "

Just then , to the bushes to the right of me open up . Revaling a pony with a fucking Stenson a top its head .

" What the hay are ya " it says to me in a female , southern accent .

" What in the fucking hell ? "

God , I'v just seen about everything