Muddy Wings

by Brony Scientist SLV

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 20805

When Rainbow Crashes into Twilight's home, antics occur, and she discovers a crush.

When Twilight's morning routine is interrupted by Rainbow Dash crashing into her home and dousing herself in mud, Twilight finds herself letting Rainbow Dash use her shower. What could possibly go wrong?

Thanks to Emerald Flight for the cover art!

Published 2013-01-26 03:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-05 20:08:30 UTC

Muddy Wings V8

It was yet another rainy morning, complete with an almost wall-like cloud cover. And yet, a single diligent ray of dim sunlight, one following the direct orders of Celestia herself, managed to force itself through the heavy clouds and find it's way in through a window, forcing a certain purple Mare's eyes to forcibly adjust, waking her in the process. The purple unicorn, known as Twilight Sparkle, slowly came to, opening her sleepy eyes and yawning loudly, not truly caring who heard.

She then proceeded to do what she always did, the morning routine she had been following since what seemed to be her whole life. She, after a few stretches, forced herself out of her bed and slowly trotted up to her bedroom mirror, using her magic to lift the custom purple brush that rested on the mirror's cabinet, and immediately brushed her mane 150 times, as always, to ensure a lack of knots and to provide her mane with a manageable look.

She then continued along with the rest of her morning routine, starting with waking up her number one assistant from his peaceful slumber, who, after some slight grumbling, went downstairs and did his very best to prepare one of his (not so) famous Vegan breakfasts. After waking Spike, she hopped in the bathroom to take quick but a liberating shower, and after that, she planned to re-brush her mane. She had been stuck in this routine for as long as she could remember, No matter where she was, whether she was living at the castle in Canterlot, at home with her parents and Shining Armor, or even in her humble library in Ponyville. It was part of who she was, and she did her best to uphold the standard in which she held herself.

After a quick check to ensure that she had everything she needed to bathe properly, she turned on bath and used her magic to lift the shower knob. And after she checked the water to ensure that she wouldn't scald herself, Twilight stepped in, sighing contently. The warm water quickly forced her somewhat stiff muscles into a state of surrender, allowing herself to escape into her own thoughts without interruption or complaint from her previously sore body. After a good thirty seconds, she found herself thinking of how her life sat, how unpredictable it had become, and how wonderful she found her newly chaotic life.

Like how Pinkie Pie did what she did, and, roughly a quarter of the time, how she spent her Saturdays running around Equestria trying to save somepony or spending her time in some activity. She loved how she finally managed to get herself a true crush, and, ironically enough, how it was on one of her best friends. And she loved how she spent a lot of her free time with said friend reading, of all things, Daring Doo, the series she found when she was but a filly.

However, there were a few things that she didn't like. And one of them was how she could never finish her morning routine without having an incident.

When she lived in Canterlot, there had been interruptions in her morning routine on occasion, such as Spike really wanting to sleep in or her  alarm failing to wake her, but they were so few and far in between that she had no problem in outmaneuvering them with ease, if not ignoring them altogether. But now that she lived in Ponyville…

*THUD*

Something totally unexpected would happen, and it wasn't something one could just schedule around or completely ignore as if it never happened like she used to do.

Twilight sighed, telling herself to keep calm, but, for all the times for something unplanned to happen, it always seemed to happen when she was in the shower. It seemed that Ponyville had a problem with bathing. If she wasn't being interrupted in the shower, then somepony used all the hot water, meaning she got to freeze. She forced to think positively, managing to bring a small smile to her face. At least somepony didn't pour pudding mix into the town’s hot water tank again. That was a hellish morning.

"Spike, can you fix whatever just happened? I'm kinda busy." Twilight's voice rang out from the bathroom. Spike, who happened to be mixing a batch of his own personal buttermilk pancake batter, stopped what he was doing and looked up the staircase.

"Busy with what?"

"My shower? You know, the thing that us grownups have to do when they don't have time to take a six hour bubble bath?"

"Oh... Heh, right. But do I have to? It was probably the neighborhood kids with that really big ball again." He replied loudly, wanting to return back to the kitchen, and more importantly, his batch of Pancake batter, encrusted with some of Rarity's "Rejected" gem dust.

"You sure? It sounded pretty heavy, Can you just check outside?"

Spike sighed loudly in response. On one claw, there was some gem filled pancakes. And on the other, an angry Twilight. Pancakes... Twilight... Pancakes, angry Twilight. It was no contest.

Spike made his way to the front door as fast as his little dragon legs could take him, fearing Twilight's swift retribution. He opened the door, and found the entire tree... house... thing surrounded by mud.

"Aww..." was the only thing he could mutter, and he realized he had another difficult decision. He either had to deal with an angry Twilight because of mud... or because of disobeying her orders. Mud caused by orders... or not listening to orders.

Another simple decision.

SPLAT.

Spike forced his way into the mud in the most dignified way he could manage, (Which mainly consisted of jumping feet first, then accidentally falling onto his face) and began his quest around the tree, all while wondering where the previously paved street went. He encountered several challenges, a roaring river, (A small stream, which he slipped in) an enormous mountain, (A rock, which he managed to trip over) and a fallen tree. (A fallen branch, stepped over.)

After his magnificent quest, he found himself at the source of all Princess Rari- Queen Sparkle's irritation.

A giant muddy lump.

"Yuck."

A giant talking muddy lump.

*Cough*

"This stuff is nasty."

A giant disgusted, talking, coughing, and feminine sounding muddy lump.

Spike took a deep breath, mainly to help himself gather his heroic wits, and released, determined to finish his mission and claim his reward, the glorious enchanted pancakes, given to him by Captain Jack Scootaloo, which she pilfered from Princess Rarity herself. (Some assembly required.)

"Umm... Hello mister, er, miss, um, mud monster?" Spike said bravely, his voice only squeaking the smallest amount from fear, a testament to his bravery.

"Ugh... wha?" The mud creature mumbled, moving ever so slightly towards spike.

Spike stood his ground, only stepping back 5 or so feet, tripping over the fallen tree he ever so easily bested earlier.

"Spike?"

"Yo-you know my name?" Spike asked bravely, not showing any trace of fear, except his knocking knees.

"Of course I know your name! Best pancake maker in all of Equestria! Well, if I started, then second best, but I'll let you keep that title. Plus, I kinda hang out at the library all the time. Kinda hard to miss your name and all."

"Wha... what?” Spike mumbled. Since when did Mud Monsters brag? And when did Mud Monsters hang out at the library and sound like Rainbow….

Spike faceclawed, before managing to regain his wits. “Wait... Rainbow Dash, is that you?"

"The one and only! I was working on my buccaneer blitz, well, the one that has this awesome thing where I buzz the ground, and I would have had it, if the ground... and your house, and that one old guy... well, if any of them weren't in the way."

"Well, at least you ended up all right... well, as right as you were, anyway. Well, see ya!" Spike answered, walking through his previously made trench for the front door.

"Wait! Is it, well, ok if I use your shower? Mine is kinda made of a rainbow. Not the best for heavy cleaning, or any cleaning really... And the clouds are freezing this time of day, so that's outta the question."

Spike thought for a moment. "I'm sure Twilight won't mind. But... Can you get some of that mud off first? Twi will have my tail if I turned all downstairs into a mud pit. She really wasn't happy last time I did it. I mean, was it that bad to have an indoor mud wrestling match with Applejack?"

Dash smiled, and shook her body, sending mud missiles everywhere. "Oh yeah, I remember that! I thought you were even going to beat her, until Twilight jumped in there. Who knew Twi could do such a good full nelson?"

"Heh... Yeah... that hurt." Spike mumbled back. "Twilight was like... really mad after that. Her mane was on fire and everything. It was like that for a hour."

Before Dash could say anything, Spike opened the door, and ushered her in.

"Ok, so anyways, the bathroom's upstairs. Wait, you already know, you crashed through our bathroom window at least twice, er, thrice. And, when you're not doing that, you're spending your time reading Daring Doo and goofing off with Twilight."

Dash grinned sheepishly. "Actually, it was five times. And I do not! I only come over, like, three times a week, if that!"

"Five times? Hmm... that one time with the bath... the broken toilet seat... the time we had to get a carpenter to get you outta the cabinet... the other time when the towel rack got stuck in the shower wall... Huh. I only remember four. What happened the other..." Spike trailed off, Rainbow Dash was already gone. "Three times a week my butt." He found himself mumbling. After deciding that Dash wasn't worth the aggravation,  Spike shrugged and chose to return to his bejeweled pancakes. He walked into the kitchen, and, without bothering to look around, sat down. “So, What kind of pancakes do you want Twi?” He asked to thin air. When there wasn't a response, he looked around, and he noticed a distinct lack of purple unicorn.

“Oh...”

Shaking his head as he sighed heavily, Spike slowly stood up, and, with a low growl, walked over to the cabinet. After he pulled out a jar of Twilight's favorite and most expensive tea, he grabbed a teapot and filled it before setting it on the stove. "Today is going to be one of those days."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Rainbow Dash found herself at the base of the staircase she knew well. After all, whenever she felt like hanging out with Twilight, she made it a point to go up them and wake the unicorn extra early, usually after she used the key her friend kept under the hide-a-key rock. It usually ended with her getting a pillow to the face, but it was worth it. After all, Twilight was awesome and all, but her pillows? Well, it's an understatement to say that they were softer then the clouds they napped on.

Sighing and thinking of twilight's wonderful bed, she flew up the staircase as only she could, shooting up the staircase gracefully and quietly, only leaving a trivial three or four long smears of mud along the stairs... and wall... and ceiling. And a few along the hoofrail as well.

She then found herself at the door she knew quite well, she could even say that she knew it better then the stairs. After all, she had managed to get stuck inside the door once... or twice. From both sides at that. She didn't really know what it was with her crashing into Twi's house, she never stunt flew near Fluttershy's due to her not-so startling ability to scare her animals, she only did it three times with Rarity's boutique, It was suicide the even fly near Pinkie's, due to the fact that her party cannon was very effective for anti air purposes, and the only time she flew near Applejack's place was when she was invited, when was with her other friends, or wanting to nap inside one of her trees. (She and Applejack didn't get along very well when they were alone without having a predetermined subject. It mostly ended in yelling and arguing. Stubborn mare.)

Maybe she crashed into Twilight's house because she spent a lot of her free time there. She probably, in the words of Twilight, gravitated to it or something.

Well, in the paraphrased words of Twilight.

Rainbow Dash shook her head and pushed those thoughts aside, mainly because she had more important things to think about right now. Such as getting somewhat clean so that she could continue flying, and maybe find and apologize to that old stallion she sent flying into that hay bail. Grinning at the mental image, Rainbow used her hoof to open the door, and she even let herself into the bathroom the way a proper mare would.

But instead of seeing what was supposed to be an empty bathroom, she found it unbelievably steamy. If she had to describe it, she would say it was like the inside of a cloud, only warmer. And she couldn't walk on it. Blinking, she slowly walked into the bathroom, tasting the heavy steam on her tongue and noting a strange fragrance. "Twilight must have just took a shower." She mumbled to herself as she groped her way around the bathroom, looking for the shower curtain.

After about ten seconds of squinting, (She wasn't used to being inside a cloud) she found the dark blue and bright white curtain, covered in the little cutie marks of either Princess Luna or Celestia. She also heard the shower still going, but seeing as she always left her shower on at home, (It was made from a magical never ending rainbow) it didn't seem out of the norm. So, grabbing the shower curtain with her mouth, she pulled it back.

"Spike! I'm not out of the shower yet!"

Dash immediately let go of the foul tasting curtain and hopped back a foot; she certainly didn't expect a certain purple mare to be in the shower. But try as she might, she was frozen in shock, staring at her friend. Twilight's face held an similar expression of shock, but her eyes, they were... Beautiful. They shined with a brilliant purple, and she found herself shocked by how pretty they were. After what felt like an eternity, she forced herself to look down, and instead found herself staring at her body.

"Dash?"

It was lean, almost frail, but, at the same time, it held the strangest kind of grace. It certainly wasn't Applejack's in the terms of muscle, but it held it's own kind of strength, and it looked almost as if it was crafted by a master artist pony. The muscles were very well formed, yet smaller then one would think, and they held a weird look of softness to them, as if they were inviting her, somehow. And the way they moved was mesmerizing. Each movement, each and every breath was awesome to watch.  Dash felt the sudden urge  to jump forward into the shower and-

Wait... that would be dumb.

"Dash!?

Very, very dumb. But since when was she a smart pony?

"DASH!! What are you- Out!" Twilight's voice rang loudly, and Rainbow Dash was, thankfully, brought crashing back to reality on the word 'out.' She reacted as only she truly could, yelping loudly and scrambling backwards, crashing into the toilet, then stumbling sideways, knocking over the medicine cabinet, spilling its contents all over the place. Then, without any hesitation, she tackled the bathroom door and forced it open, and once she was clear, she slammed it behind her.

"Yeah, Twilight’s still in there."

She had just seen her best friend in a extremely strange and completely alien way. She had, at times, gave Twilight a look, usually on the grounds of something similar to appreciation, but now? She was given the full shebang of Twilighty goodness, for lack of a better term. And, try as she might, she couldn't get rid of the mental image. And there, in the background of her span of attention, was spike, sounding as if he was a mile away. She felt guilty about what she saw and did, but she also had a strange feeling in her stomach, as if she was going to spend the whole day with the Wonderbolts again. And, if that wasn't enough, her heart was racing faster then when she went through the running of the leaves.

"Hey, uh, Dash, you alright? Helllooooooo?"

Dash froze for a second, trying to determine a right way to react, before deciding that she would think about this later. Much, much later. But right now, she needed to answer the small purple dragon who seemed insistent on getting a response from her. So, she said the very first thing that popped into her mind. "Twi... was in there."

"Yeah. That’s what I just said!" Spike replied huffily. Rainbow Dash shook her head once more, trying to free herself from the persistent thoughts that plagued her.

Spike brought his claws to his head and massaged it before speaking again. "Yeah, today is one of those days.... Well, if you want to wait, I can give you a few pancakes while we wait for Twilight to come down and kill us all."

"O-Ok." Dash answered, still trying to regain her head.

"Great! I can show you my new recipe! You know, in case I don't make it." Spike said as he went back down the stairs and into the kitchen. After a few moments, he stuck his head around the corner, and shouted "You coming?"

"Yeah. I'm coming." Dash said in the most normal voice she could manage. Her head was still full of a thousand errant thoughts and images, but she was sure she could at least act like she was the normal and awesome Rainbow Dash. After all, she was her. It should be at least second nature by now.

Rainbow Dash, with a little effort, managed to get her body to move down the staircase and into the kitchen, and that's where she found Spike, who was wearing his 'kiss the dragon' apron. He smiled when she trotted up, and when she sat in the nearest chair, he started speaking in a happy, teacher-like voice he weaned from his years of listening to Twilight. "Ok, So for the new recipe, you have to add four cups of flour, then you add some water..."

The very sentence made Dash freeze. An unwanted image raged across her mind.

The water dripping off her body...

"A couple eggs..."

A brilliant shining purple...

"And... Hey Dash, Are you even paying attention? Come on! Can you at least pay attention for one sec? I mean, I'm teaching you the most awesome pancake recipe ever, and Twilight will be down here any second!"

Rainbow jumped, she somehow even managed to forget where she was. She quickly thought of an excuse, and mumbled "Oh, um, sorry, I'm kinda... Tired. Yeah, I didn't get my mid-morning nap."

"Wow, you need that much sleep? Maybe you should talk to Twilight, she might be able to help you get to sleep."

Rainbow Dash couldn't help but stare blankly at spike. Not only because he wanted to have her spend some time with Twilight, but because he wanted her to spend time late at night with Twilight alone, just the two of them, while Spike went somewhere alone, probably at Rarity's, and the two of them would cuddle up alongside each other while the fire roared and they shared a cup of boring tea, and then they would make lovey eyes at each other.

It wasn't what he actually suggested, but that's what would happen probably, and then she would ask Twi something, and she would laugh, and get closer, then….

“No, No, NO!”

"Whoa, Rainbow, you alright?”

"NO! Uh, yes, I just need... I need some time to-"

"Would anypony like to explain to me why the ceiling and walls are covered in mud, and why Rainbow Dash crashed through my bathroom again?"

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Twilight walked down the stairs, her face showing only the smallest hint of anger. She always tried to be quiet and studious, but Celestia obviously had other plans, because the strange and absolutely unpredictable happened to her on a daily basis. Freak mad gods raising from statues, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash crashing into her house every week, Her assistant turning into a full fledged dragon and terrorizing the town, only to turn back into a baby dragon soon after, watching Pinkie Pie shoot a Pegasus out of the sky with her party cannon for shoplifting a cupcake, her entire stock of ink suddenly becoming highly flammable and explosive, which she heard about when Celestia complained about her sending exploding letters, (Which she blamed on discord) Spike changing the entire first floor of her home into a mud wrestling pit, Pinkie Pie changing the second floor of her home into a mud wrestling pit, And now the one pony she ever had a crush on barging into her bathroom, peeking at her, and then destroying the entire room in the process of escaping. And Pinkie Pie.

Never mind what she thought earlier, her life in Ponyville was enough to give her a migraine.

She then turned into the Kitchen, if Spike was going to be anywhere this time of the day, it was there. She instead found a strangely solemn Rainbow Dash, smothered in mud, a suspiciously clean looking Baby Dragon, holding an expression similar to somepony who just gave a speech on the highest levels of theoretical magic, and the Mail Mare hovering outside her window, looking cross, (and cross eyed) holding her mail in her mouth.

She sighed and first made her way to the window. She retrieved the mail, and then learned that her mailbox was now somehow pinned to the upper branches of her house, stuck there by a cement-like mixture of mud.

After that, she found herself torn between asking Spike what happened, or going straight to the source and asking the deity of destruction herself why she destroyed her bathroom for the umpteenth time this month. After a few seconds of thinking, she decided that she wasn't feeling particularly patient.

"So Rainbow Dash, would you like to explain to me why you freaked out and destroyed my bathroom? Again? Do you really hate my bathroom that much? Do my curtains insult you? Does the fact that bathing exists bring you to such acts of destruction? Does the universe itself tell you to interrupt and fight against the concept of cleaning oneself?"

She felt herself glaring at Rainbow Dash as she stared at the ground and shuffled around, obviously nervous, and waited there until she finally looked up at Twilight. "Sorry, Spike kinda told me that I could take a shower. I didn't know you were in there. And... I do like your curtains?"

"Ah." Was all the studious unicorn could say, looking over from the strangely quiet and nervous looking Pegasus to the now frightened baby dragon.

"I thought you were out! Umm... Pancake?" Spike asked, he obviously didn't want to be in trouble. Twilight was also obviously in a bad mood, for whatever reason, and he didn't want to be on the receiving end of her magical fury.

Twilight looked back from Spike to Dash a few times, her expression becoming less discernible to the casual passerby with each pass between. However, Internally, she was torn. She could yell at Spike, who did absolutely nothing wrong, or she could yell at Dash, whom she held the biggest soft spot this side of Equestria. Or, she could simply give up and act like nothing ever happened. After a several awkward and tense moments, she simply sighed and chose option C.  "I... Sure. But can you please clean up that mess? What happens if Celestia came over and saw that I painted my walls with dirt?"

Spike stared at her for a second, he could have sworn she was about to have at least a small freakout. But no, all she did was act kinda... calm. Well, after the whole "Who should I yell at first?" thing anyway. Which, in Spike's mind, sent up a giant red flag labeled "Do as she says, moron!"

"I'll...clean it up, don't you worry Twi."

"Thanks. And Dash, you can use the shower if you want, I'm done with it."

Rainbow Dash nodded quickly, and, without saying a word or even making eye contact, shot up the staircase and into the now vacant bathroom. And, when Dash flew by, Twilight could have swore Rainbow Dash's cheeks as red as the streak in her mane.

Twilight simply sighed and sat down after Dash left the room. She tried to be angry, but she couldn't. Maybe it was Rainbow Dash. She did have a crush on her, and maybe the way Dash gave her that look of worry broke her. So, instead of making a fuss about the mess or yelling at spike for letting Dash cover the house in mud, she quietly ate her pancakes Spike quickly whipped up for her and drank her tea, waiting for Rainbow Dash to come down from the shower. She waited semi-calmly for around 15 minutes, before inevitably feeling herself grow impatient and finding that her tea became cold.

"What's taking Rainbow Dash so long?"

Spike, who had been cleaning some muddy hoofprints, simply responded with "Maybe she is already done. The bathroom has a window, she could’ve left already."

Twilight didn't know why, but the thought of Rainbow Dash leaving like that was... insulting. In a way that she didn't understand. Not the "You left without saying goodbye" Insulting, the "You betrayed me and stomped on my heart" kind of insulting.

Well, not really, It was a “You trashed my house and left without cleaning” type of insulting.

Either way, Twilight sighed grumpily and stood up from the table. "Well... I'm going to go and clean the bathroom. Can you get the walls and ceiling?"

Spike nodded with a grin. "Already on it, Ma'am!" Twilight felt a weak smile grow from Spike's response, and, with a grin, nodded her head.

"Good work, Soldier. Now make sure that wall is spotless."

"Yes Ma'am!" Another grin.

"Ok, I will be in the bathroom if you need me. Let's just hope she didn't destroy anything on the way out." Twilight replied with a smirk. She always loved it when Spike played around like that, and she could hear Spike saying "Hut! Hut!" from downstairs as she reached the bathroom door.

"Ugh... Even the door handle is muddy." Twilight groaned to herself. Using her magic, she opened her way into the bathroom, and felt a massive heatwave hit her, accompanied by a thick layer of steam.

"Dang it Dash, did you break the shower on again?" Twilight asked aloud. She looked around the bathroom, and saw a bottle of spilled pills (Hormo-block, for those cycles when you do NOT want to become a mother), a broken toilet seat, and mushed tube of Toothpaste, it's contents all over the nearby wall, and, of course, the shower was still running, making it near impossible to see inside the bathroom itself.

All Twilight could do was sigh angrily as she used her magic to pick up the now soggy pills and throw them in the garbage can. She then tried to scrape as much of her medicated toothpaste off the wall as she could after she threw away the tube, (Uni-shield, X-tra strength enamel protection for delicate mare's beautiful and sensitive teeth, prescription strength. Patent pending) and then turned to the shower.

Of course the curtain was covered in mud. Of course there was mud covering the entire outside of the tub, and of course, when she pulled back the curtain, there was a muddy mare on her back asleep, half her body still covered in mud, snoring loudly.

"Rainbow Dash?" Was all she could ask. She found that she was half happy her friend hadn't left, yet also half irritated that she had the gall to fall asleep in her shower after destroying the rest of her bathroom.

The Rainbow Mare, as she predicted, didn't respond beyond grinning stupidly. Twilight rolled her eyes before closing the curtain again, giving her friend some privacy. She then resumed cleaning the bathroom, sweeping up a few errant pills and scraping up the remains of her toothpaste.

She then cleaned up all the mud she could, and, after all that was done, she cleaned the toilet and repaired the seat.

After ten minutes, Twilight managed to repair and clean the entire bathroom, other then, to her chagrin, the bathtub. After doing a triple check to make sure she didn't miss anything, Twilight walked back to the curtain before hesitantly pulling it back. After making a audible gulp, she found herself looking down, and, more importantly, she found herself looking at Dash. Staring at her face, Twilight noted that she looked so peaceful, and she also noted that Dash was also just sitting there, using up Ponyville’s hot water and dirtying her bathtub. But, on the other hoof, she was adorable. She had the cutest face when she slept, and she had the lightest smile. After a small internal conflict, Twilight decided that she couldn't help but want to hug her.

She felt the lightest smile grow upon her face as well, and the longer she stared, the bigger it got. Twilight, caught up in the moment, failed to notice that her eyes were starting to wander. And, when she finally realized it, she found her eyes had wandered over to Rainbow’s wings, and, to her surprise, they stayed there. Twilight expected herself to look her crush over, and yet, there she was, somehow fascinated by Rainbow’s wings.

How her feathers were so well kept, even with the mud caking them, how her primaries looked as if they were crafted by crystal, and how this effect was caused by the refraction of the light due to the heavy moisture content in the air and the angle she happened to be viewing them. She noticed how Rainbow's muscles bulged slightly from her side, a testament to the massive amount of exercise she went through and the dedication she held for her dream.

How, with those wings, Rainbow Dash could preform feats of flying that baffled the mind, shocked the senses, and seemed to defy the laws of physics. How, with her trusty wings, Rainbow Dash ended up being the Pegasus equivalent of herself, A pony with so much potential that even the princesses took interest in her. How Rainbow Dash, with those wondrous wings, had the potential to be the very best, possibly the best that ever was.

Twilight, after several more seconds of staring, suddenly found herself wanting to touch them. It wasn’t a sudden impulse, or a baser lust caused by hormones. It was just an subconscious urge. Not unlike an itch, and the longer she stared, the stronger the urge got. She wanted, for no explainable reason, to hold Rainbow's wings. To be held by her wings. To get closely familiar with the pair of appendages that made Rainbow Dash who she was. The wings that made Dash so... awesome.

She slowly found herself lifting her hoof, and watched as it moved itself towards Rainbow. As it got closer, she felt her heart speed up. Should she? Rainbow Dash never gave consent, would there be the possibility that she would freak out on her? And maybe, if she did, was it possible that Rainbow Dash wouldn’t want to see her again?

“No… I can’t do this. I…. I’m sorry Dash.”

With a snort that seemed to add an amount of finality, Dash suddenly stirred. "Wha...? Where's the fire... and why is it so hot in here?" Was the Pegasus's sleepy mumbling. She slowly forced herself into a sitting position before slowly looking around.

"Oh... hey Twi. I kinda fell asleep in here."

"I... noticed." Was all she could say. She had been stuck staring at the sopping wet Mare in front of her for the last ten minutes, after all. However, with her friend sitting up, Twilight got a better view of Dash herself. She really did have an athletic body, and that showed when her fur was pushed all the way down. Muscles were well formed and developed, her trunk was thin and lean, and her legs... They were thin and muscular all at the same time. She was really the hottest mare in all of Ponyville, (In Twilight's opinion) and now she had a firsthand look at how attractive she really was.

"Well, I think I… " Rainbow Dash mumbled nervously as she stood all the way up and stretched, giving Twilight another gracious look at her body. "Wait. My wings are still all muddy. Hey Twi, Can you help me out? I can’t reach my back with my hooves, and I really don't want to use my mouth.”

"What?" Twilight asked quietly, looking at her friend’s back. She stared for a second, and saw not only were Dash’s wings dirty, but her entire back still caked with a large amount of mud.

"I… Yeah. Yeah, I c-can get it Dash." Twilight mumbled weakly. She did not know what possessed her, what made her do what she thought was a horrid idea, but she did it anyway, and jumped into the shower with Dash. She immediately grabbed a bar of soap with her magic, and looked at Dash, who was slowly turning as red in the face as one of the streaks in her hair.

"N-now, Le-let’s get off all this mu-mud." Twilight weakly mumbled.  Which was the complete opposite of what her body was doing. She wanted to jump out the shower and beg for forgiveness, and instead felt herself strongly wrap her leg around Rainbow Dash's side and started gently rubbing the back of Dash's head with her hoof while she began cleaning her back with the levitating bar of soap.

"Twi... Wh-what are you doing?" Dash choked out, surprised by the unwarranted caress.

"I… I don’t know…. cleaning?" Was Twilight's verbal Reply. Again, the exact opposite of what she wanted to say and do. She felt herself hug Dash tighter, and Twilight internally groaned.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Dash sat there, shocked and surprised. After she ran up into the bathroom, she jumped into the shower and tried what Fluttershy always said she did, meditation. But, instead of relaxing her and clearing her mind as Fluttershy told her it did, All Dash managed to do was fall asleep. Which, ironically, did clear her mind. And, after a ironically steamy dream about Twilight, she finds herself woken up by her and mindlessly gave Twilight the job of bathing her immediately after.

She didn't know what was worse, the fact that her brain sold her out, or the fact that she was actually enjoying her bath. One traitorous half of her was in bliss, and it rejoiced that she was actually in the shower with the beautiful unicorn for earlier, with all her shining eyes and softness wrapped up with her as she literally rubbed her down.

The other half realized that she now lusting on her best friend, and that she was being cleaned by her while she was crushing on her. She had no clue why she even asked for Twilight to clean her wings, maybe it was the after-sleep, or maybe her brain finally rebelled against her after the years of ignoring it, but she did, and now… she was lost. And, if simply to compound things, she quickly realized was not the most thoughtful pony, and not only that, but she was also impulsive. She could do something stupid really quick, and their friendship may get horribly messed up, if not destroyed, because of it.

She blamed her rebelling brain for even making her realize this.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Twilight was also thinking on the same lines. Except she had the crush beforehand, and now she was rubbing her down in the shower. And the more she thought of it, the less energy she put into the rubbing, but, as if to rebel against her, her body also made sure that it became more selective. Much to Twilight’s chagrin, It ended up becoming less like she was cleaning Dash off, and more like her giving her friend a massage. In the shower. With soap involved. And, ironically, that made her feel dirty, even with all the soap.

As she gently rubbed the Pegasus's muscles clean, she felt her face, after three minutes, finally change from it's previous light pink to a full blown red, and she felt herself start to regain control. She started to pull away, and, as a force of habit, looked at Dash's back to ensure she did her job. After her quick double check, she decided that it was all clean, her mission accomplished, and now she could leave... And she forgot to check Dash's wings. She winced as she slowly looked down, and saw them sagging down to the floor, most likely so they weren't in the way of her cleaning, and still, much to her dismay, still horribly filthy.

She knew she could leave and have her friend clean them, that she could refuse to do as her friend asked, but she was never the kind of mare to leave something half done, especially if it came to her friends. And she still really wanted to touch them. She felt herself stare for a few seconds before the urge from earlier returned in force.

She stared for a second before a small voice in the back of her head spoke up.

"This time, you have permission."

____________________________________________________________________________________

Rainbow Dash was completely beside herself. First, she finds herself being cleaned by her friend who she finds hot, and then, she slowly changes from a simple cleaning to a full massage. And secondly, she was enjoying every second of it, supposedly due to her brain completely rebelling against her. She even had to bite back happy sighs to keep from disturbing Twilight, and nearly bit her tongue when Twilight started on her back.

And what was worse, She could barely control any of her body, proving that her brain had assumed direct control. She had felt her wings relax and fall to her sides, and, under the influence of her brain, couldn't be bothered to bring them back up. All that mattered now was Twilight and her, and maybe the hot water that happened to be hitting her in the face. Nope, that didn't even matter, all that mattered was that Twilight, her absolute best friend ever, kept "Cleaning" her back.

And then suddenly, without reason or warning, it stopped. Twilight was no longer cleaning her back, and she felt hollow, numb. She felt many things, disappointment, anger, and a hint of betrayal, and her brain threw up a red flag as a formality. But, before she could say anything, before she could move a very relaxed muscle, she felt something rub her wings. She easily felt it, a Pegasus's wing are the most sensitive part of their body when it came to. well, anything. They could feel the slightest gust of wind and be able to tell the exact direction and how warm it was. Immediately after the slight touch, She felt her wing lift a little, and then felt something solid run gently down it, bringing shudders down her spine.

"Ooooh..."

To heck with what she was feeling earlier, this was much better.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

To say that Twilight was surprised from the moan her friend just gave was a understatement. She was shocked. It sounded so... she couldn't even explain it. She nearly dropped everything and jumped out of the shower because of it. Heck, half of her still wanted to jump out. But, in the back of her mind, she knew was that Rainbow Dash was obviously enjoying the spa treatment she was giving her, and if she was enjoying it, then it was a very good sign. Besides, she was able to touch her wings. That itself was enough.

Going back to her friend's wondrous appendages, she, as gently as she could, tried to rub the wings clean, gently rubbing in between feathers and making sure she relaxed every muscle she found with a bit of rubbing or, with the tougher muscles, magic, and every once in a while, she would gain a satisfied moan or sigh from Rainbow Dash. She continued her task for quite some time, dragging it out as long as possible and making sure every feather was as clean as she could get it.

And, five minutes later, The water from the shower, which had long been warm and inviting, decided that they had abused it's hospitality long enough, and turned ice cold.

Twilight felt Rainbow cringe and she felt herself do the same. She quickly stopped her gentle scrubbing and instead started rinsing her friend’s wings, and even then she tried to draw that out as long as possible. After a good thirty seconds, she looked at her handiwork.

"All done!" She could have swore that she had already lost the feeling in her front legs from the cold; she could barely could use them. But it was worth it for the extra thirty seconds of wing contact. They both then scrambled out of the bathtub, with Twilight accidentally tearing the shower curtain down in the process.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

"Th-th-thanks Twi..." Was all Dash could say between the shivering. After a few seconds, she decided that she felt guilty. After all, she destroyed her best friend's bathroom, covered her walls with mud, and high-jacked her shower. And Twilight returned that by giving her the best random surprise wing massage she had ever had in her life, not that she had a ton of them or anything.

But nonetheless, She had to do something. Not only help with the house and cleaning, but she had to return the half hour of awesome massaging. But, what could she do? She didn't know how to massage, she couldn't pay her, and she didn't have anything to trade, and she didn't have the lifetime of training required to help with the organization of the library. All she had was her athletic ability, her muscle training, and her awesomeness. She had nothing to give.

But, for some reason, she felt like she had something. Something whispered to her, telling her that she had the perfect gift to repay Twilight. Dash decided to listen.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Cold. Twilight was cold. And wet. And also, regrettably, on the floor. She quickly forced herself to her hooves, but that didn't fix the fact that she was freezing. She quickly closed her eyes and shivered, and, after a terribly long second, she heard Dash mumble a thanks.

"Oh, um, It-t-t wa-was no-" was all Twilight managed to say before she was stopped by something pushing against her mouth, cutting her off in mid sentence. She opened her eyes, and all she saw was a cyan blue, along with a few eyelashes. She felt something against her mouth, some pressure... except it was suction, not expulsion. She felt something moist and soft on her lips, something very soft, and it was rubbing against her mouth in the most peculiar, but pleasurable, fashion. She stared for a moment or two before figuring out what it was. It was Rainbow Dash. And she was kissing her. Wait...

She must have slipped and hit her head when she jumped out of the shower or something. Because there was no way that Dash would kiss her.

But before she could make another movement, she felt a pair of strong, yet cold wet limbs wrap around her and pull her closer to the cyan Pegasus. Maybe this wasn’t a dream or head trauma. But now, only a small part of her was screaming to break free, and the majority was simply enjoying the pleasant surprise, or completely confused as to why this was happening. She tried to lift her legs, to do something, anything, even if it was something as simple as returning the hug or something as difficult as trying to push away, but she found that she couldn't move them. She couldn't move anything. She was frozen, being kissed by Dash, The Rainbow Dash, her best friend and her secret crush, the winner of the most talented young flier's competition, future wonder-bolt, and the Hottest mare in Ponyville, Twilight sparkle edition.

She sat there, numb, cold and shocked, with a large part of her cheering inside. She quickly decided that she wanted to be held like this forever.

She found that she had one problem though. She needed to breathe. Badly.

Forcing her limbs up as high as she could get them, which, admittedly, wasn't far, she managed to grab Rainbow Dash. And, typical Twilight Fashion, instead pulled her even closer. "Mmmmmm..." Was all she could say, expelling precious oxygen as she tried to return the kiss.

She returned the suction, and searched her mind for something to work with. After a terribly long second of thinking, she decided that a romance book Fluttershy gave her would work as reference material. Twilight quickly searched her memories for something to use, but all she got was that she should lie down and allow gravity to assist in the embrace. So, following her own personal instructions, she tried to bring herself down to the floor. And managed to slip and smack the back of her head off the side of the tub. If she didn’t have head trauma before, she did now.

Rainbow Dash was still holding Twilight, actually kissing her, and she was kissing back. Well, Dash wasn't surprised, seeing as she was kissing her, The Rainbow Dash, but still, it was a relief that her return gift was a good one. Heck, even she wanted to be in this position forever, to continue what was technically her first kiss,  but there was one problem. Air. She was already out, and seeing as she could fly in high altitude and had lung training, she could guess with almost complete certainty that Twilight was out as well. She would have to break the kiss, As much as she wanted not to.

But, before she could break away, Twilight, doing something that only she understood, leaned back, pulling Dash with her. And she also felt as Twilight slipped and quickly smacked her head off the tub, and with a large clank that implicated a startlingly large amount of dread, went limp.

Dash fell to the side, and feeling Twilight release her, rolled over. She shook her head and took in a huge breath, before jumping to her hooves.

"Twilight?" She asked worriedly, looking down at the purple mare.

"Twilight? Twilight!”

_________________________________________________________________________________

Twilight slowly opened her eyes. She felt very warm and comfy, and her head was swimming. Feeling her eyes open, she found was the first and only thing she could see was white.

"Am I in heaven?" She asked weakly.

She continued to stare forward for several seconds. Or was it minutes? It didn't matter. After an undisclosed amount of time, her eyes finally started to focus, and after a moment, she managed to make out something that was not the clouds she was always promised. Instead, she saw ceiling panels. “Wha…?”

Twilight groaned, and tried to force herself to sit up. She found that it was considerably harder then it should have been, but, with a monumental effort, she managed to lean forward. She looked slowly around, and found herself in a large white room, in a large warm bed, and hooked up into a IV.

But none of that really registered in her mind, and from all that stimuli, all she got from it was one thing.

This wasn't her bedroom.

“Where am I?” She asked aloud, before feeling her head make an unwanted twinge.

“Well, Ms. Sparkle, you are in the hospital. And that was quite the head injury you had. You’re lucky your friend was there to bring you in.”

Twilight felt herself jump at the voice, quickly twisting her head in the direction she heard it, causing another twinge. She found herself looking at a Nurse, who happened to be changing a line for her IV. “Head Injury?” She asked, trying to remember what had happened.

“Yep. Apparently you slipped in the bathroom and hit your head on a bathtub. You managed to get yourself a severe concussion.” The nurse responded.

Twilight thought back, trying to search her memories. After a good thirty seconds, all her memories came back. And, she felt a pit form in her stomach. “So… all that...It was all a dream?”

The nurse, having finished changing Twilight’s IV, turned to her. “Possibly. I wasn't there, so I can't know for sure, but from experience, I know that head injuries can cause delusions. Now… Can you tell me what number I have on this card?”

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Oh Gosh, oh gosh….” Rainbow mumbled. The situation was bad. Heck, everything was bad. As she thought she would, Rainbow got caught up in the moment. She kissed her best friend! Not that she regretted it or anything, but Twilight got hurt. And now, she was in the hospital, all because she got excited.

And, not only that, but she got bonus points for being completely stupid with how she felt herself. She kissed Twilight, thinking she was paying her friend back. In reality, she was just taking more from Twilight. Now, not only did she owe Twilight for the Massage, but for the kiss and the hospitalization that followed. She was so far in the hole that she might as well give herself to Twilight now and become her personal slave.

Which sounded almost awesome. Wow, she was really messed up.

And what about now? Twilight was probably in her room, alone, wondering where she was. And she was just sitting here with her tail between her legs, scared to see her friend. She had to do something just to make up for that. And that was the perfect place to start her repentance. But what should she do?

“Um, excuse me miss? Do you need some help?”

Rainbow turned and found herself staring at a nurse. “Um, yes! Is there anywhere where I can get some “I’m sorry” stuff? I need something, like, right now!”

The nurse, nodded, and pointed down the hall. “Yes, we have a gift shop. You could always buy flowers or a car-“

“Thanks!” Rainbow shouted, before shooting down the hallway. She quickly found the gift shop, and looked for the most expensive things she could find. “Does she like chocolate? Umm… I think? I’ll get one- No, two! And, umm… Flowers! I need some stupid flowers! Umm… yeah, those are pretty. Um, Can I get one, no, two, No! Five of those, and three of those chocolate hearts, and, Um… Crap! I forgot the card!” Dash yelled, before shooting over to the card wall. She quickly grabbed the first card that had the word sorry on it, and threw it on the counter.

“I need these four giant chocolate boxes, all those flowers, and this card!” She shouted quickly, her eye twitching a bit.”

The pony at the counter raised her eyebrow, but nodded. “That will be three hundred and thirty two bits.”

“What? That’s outrageous! Why is it so stupidly expensive?” She asked quickly.

The Gift shop attendee sighed as she rolled her eyes. “Each chocolate box is thirty bits, you bought the entire shop's supply of bouquets, and the card is a bit.”

“That’s still stupid! I should- Heck, fine! Here!” She shouted, throwing the bits on the counter. She then picked up the items and ran out of the shop.

Immediately after Rainbow left, the Gift shop worker sighed an shook her head. “This happens way more then it should.”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Twilight couldn’t help but sigh. Ever since she woke up, she’d been haunted by the fact that what would have been her first kiss ended up being a trauma induced delusion. Add the fact that she couldn’t read without it giving her a headache, the fact that nopony else even knew that she was in the hospital, hence the lack of visitors, that Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be found, that she had absolutely nothing to do, and she could barely carry on a thought without confusion, and that all added up made Twilight a very sad Pony.

So far, the most exciting thing that happened was when her doctor accidentally sneezed while fiddling with her IV, making him accidentally jab it into his own flank. He was a good sport with it, and it was a clean IV, so there was no harm done, but it still looked like it hurt. So, Twilight had resorted to doing what Rainbow Dash did when she was hospitalized. She glowered.

“Stupid hospital… moronic bathtub… Dumb curtains… stupid Dash…. idiotic me.”

“Everypony Move! Quick, which room is Twilight Sparkle in again?”

Twilight couldn’t help but turn her head in the direction of the door, wincing as her head twinged again. That voice was, obviously, Rainbow.

“Room 302! And what are you doing with all that stuff?”

“Thank you!”

"What are you doing with the stuff!?! Waaaaaaaiiiiiiiit!"

Before Twilight could react, Rainbow Dash flew into her room, bringing with her a large gust of air and sending paper from her chart everywhere. “Dash, What are yo-“

“I’m sorry! I thought you wanted, but didn’t, and let go, but slipped, and smack clank, So I bought you the giftshop!”

Twilight felt her eye twitch. First of all, she didn’t understand any of that. Secondly, Rainbow Dash had just used the worst butchered equestrian she had ever seen. “Dash! Breathe! Now… What the hay are you saying?”

Rainbow Dash, who had, at the moment, winded herself, finally managed to catch her breath. “I’m sorry, It’s all my fault! Don’t hate me!”

Twilight stared for a second, before raising an eyebrow. “Again. What do you mean? And I would never hate you, Dash.”

Rainbow Dash sighed heavily, before collapsing to the floor. “I’m so sorry Twi. I just had to kiss you, and you slipped, and… I don’t want to lose you. You’re one of my best friends, Twilight, and… I’m sorry. I… I got you some stuff. Oh, and I know you like reading junk,, so, umm, I got you a card.”

Twilight froze for a second, staring at Rainbow Dash, who was holding a card in her mouth. Her wings, the ones that she was so fascinated with earlier, were out, undoubtedly due to stress. But Twilight, for the first time, wasn’t completely offset by them. She was still trying to process the fact that they did, in fact, kiss. The idea would have been easier to comprehend if she wasn't suffering from major head trauma.

After a few seconds of thinking, she finally manged to grasp the subject. Dash, the one she had been attracted to for the last four months, kissed her. She felt the pit that had been her stomach swell, and suddenly, a crazy idea popped up.

“Ummm… Dash? Could you come here?” She mumbled out for a second. Her brain was still processing the previous thought, but instinctively she knew what was coming, and what she was about to do. Dash nodded, and set the card down on the nearby desk, before walking close.

“Yes Twi?” She asked lightly, giving Twilight a forced smile.

Twilight felt herself take a large breath. Should she? Heck, could she without hurting their relationship? She rather have a best friend for life then ruin that for a slight chance to make her something more. She wasn't head over hooves, she could, if she needed to, get over her. But, there was the possibility that she could get something more. And, if she could, she would take that in a heartbeat.

Dash was loyal. Beautiful. Driven. And, best of all, somewhat compatible. Twilight wasn't thin skinned. She could take teasing and jokes in stride. And Dash already shown that they could hang out often without any problems. The only variable left in the equation was where Rainbow stood on the matter.

Sighing, Twilight looked Rainbow in the eyes. There was no reason to beat around the bush. "Do you regret it?”

Rainbow Dash frowned weakly. “Huh?”

“Do you, Rainbow Dash, Regret kissing me?”

Rainbow’s eyes went wide for a second, before she released a huge sigh. She didn't expect Twilight to go straight for the throat. But, Dash owed her the complete truth. She couldn't mess everything up with lies. If she failed, it would be on her own two hooves, not when she was trying to hide. “Y…. No. I don’t. But, I really, really don't want to lose you as a fri-OMPH!“

Rainbow Dash opened her eyes, but all she saw was Purple, with a few eyelashes. She felt something soft against her lips, and, catching on quickly, she quickly returned the favor. The next thing she knew, Twilight managed to drag her up onto the bed, wrapping her limbs around her.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“So, what do ya mean’, Pinkie?” Applejack sighed. She had asked this question fifteen times already, but Pinkie Pie, the grand-master of all things random, always managed to give an answer that didn't make sense. And, the worst of all, she never once lied. Applejack could usually tell when somepony lied or hid something, but Pinkie Pie was being fully honest. She simply was able to give a answer that would confuse the heck out of her, and that bothered the orange mare almost as much as the lack of actual details.

“I told you! My tail went all floppy, my ears twitched, and I haven’t seen Twilight or Rainbow Dash anywhere! They have to be In the hospital!” Pinkie Pie responded. She even sounded grumpy. She gave Applejack the same answer the last five times, but it never seemed enough for Applejack. You think that she would be more worried that two of her best friends were in the hospital, but instead, she was more worried with how she knew.

“Well, I believe her.” Rarity said flatly.

“Course you do, Rares, I do too. But I just wanna know why they’re in the hospital. After all, Dash and Twi are both tough, and Twilight knows all ‘dem Heain’ Spells, so what could'a happened to send them to the hospital without us hearin' it?“

"Well," Rarity replied, "It is possible that Twilight or Rainbow Dash fell ill, or something similar. After all, just because somepony knows magic doesn't mean their immortal. After all, do you recall the time Luna came down with pneumonia after she accidentally inhaled some tea? She was sick for two weeks, the poor dear. And she's a goddess. If she could become sick enough for her to be hospitalized, do you not think that Twilight or Dash couldn't have the same as well?"

Applejack sighed. "Yeah, I guess so. I just hate bein' kept in the dark and all. If somethin' happened, I want to know what. Not be told that something bad happened. For all we know, Twi or Dash could be dyin'."

_________________________________________________________________________________

"Mmm..."

Even Twilight was surprised by her gall. Several seconds ago, she had been talking to a very erratic Rainbow Dash. Now, she was deeply kissing a very excited Rainbow Dash. Everything about the situation was confusing, every fact and figure about it, from the strand of her mane that continually jabbed her eyelid to the splitting headache she had from the heavy pressure forced upon her mouth. And how the mood managed to switch so quickly was completely beyond her, and she was the one who changed it. However, she found that she truly didn't care. As long as they weren't interrupted, everything would be alright.

___________________________________________________________________________________

"Room 300.... Room 301.... Room 303.... Wait. Room three oh three? Oh, silly filly, that's a two. Found it!” Pinkie Pie shouted. Just as she knew, Room 302. Rhyming aside, she knew that timing was really important here. However, ironically, the internal clock she followed told her that they were five minutes early. Stepping away from the door, Pinkie smiled and nodded.

Immediately, Applejack stepped to the door, and grasped the handle. 'Well, let's get inside then!"

“Applejack! It’s rude to try open a pony’s room’s door without knocking.” Rarity growled lightly, glaring at her country styled friend.

"Yeah! Besides, we're early! We weren't supposed to be here for another four minutes! Wait... five minutes!"

“Rare, If it is Twi an' Dash, I don't think they'll mind or nuthin'. And Pinkie, We don’t have time for that. Who knows what happened. And I don't wanna wait if I can help it." Twisting her hoof, she opened the door. "Now, let’s see if…. Oh.“

____________________________________________________________________________________

Twilight was… ecstatic. She could feel Rainbow’s heartbeat, every twitch she made, every breath she took, and it was wonderful. She held Dash close, and after a good thirty seconds, managed to lift her up onto the bed with her. After a few moments, a lack of air forced them to part, but it was short lived, as they brought themselves together immediately after. She felt like they were there for five minutes, and she hoped that the moment would last.

“Rare, If it is Twi An' Dash, I don't think they'll mind or nuthin'. And Pinkie, We don’t have time for that. Who knows what happened. And I don't wanna wait if I can help it."

*Click*

"Now, let’s see if…. Oh.”

Twilight felt a pang of annoyance, and immediately afterward, she felt a larger feeling to hide under her bed covers. She quickly pulled away from Dash, hoping to either salvage some form of innocence or hide, but when she was clear, she found three pairs of eyes staring at her. It was easy to recognize who they were; after all, they were some of her best friends. “Umm… Hello?”

“What is going on here?!” Applejack shouted, looking baffled and confused. "I came here expecting one of my best friends in a full body cast. Not two of ya playing full body smoochy."

Pinkie Pie forced her way past Applejack, before shouting. "I tooooold you! I mean, seriously. We weren't supposed to find out for like, three more months! Wait.... How do I even know this?"

Rarity looked over to Pinkie Pie, and raised a eyebrow. "Wait, you knew this would happen?"

"Hay no! I would have thrown a Party! Or at least I woulda' baked a cake. I mean, look at that! That is totally cake worthy! Maybe a chocolate base, with a good ground marzipan frosting with the words 'congratulations for making out' on it, a hint of mint... Wait, that would be weird. Or would it? I mean, marzipan with a hint of mint? I don't know if even I would try that... Hay, I'll do it anyway!"

Rainbow, being the first to recover, spoke up. somewhat. “Well, ummm... yeah..."  She quickly found a blush form, and she looked over to Twilight. But, instead of finding the purple unicorn, she found a lump under the blankets. " Er...I kinda... well, kissed Twilight in the bathroom."

Rarity pushed past the two earth ponies, and spoke up. "Obviously, something else happened. Well, I would hope so. Because kissing isn't a good reason to be hospitalized, dear. So, what happened? Why is Twilight in the hospital, Dash?"

Dash flinched. While her words were kind, the way she worded it made Rainbow feel like she was being scolded. "Well, I kinda kissed Twilight, and, well, I, er, we slipped, and Twilight smacked her head off the bathtub. So, I kinda bought her some stuff, and she kissed me again."

“Oh. Well, that’s better then what we thought happened. And here we were expecting to see one of you dying or the like. I'm glad to see that the two of you were alright."

"Wait, Really? No surprise? No 'Why didn't you tell me?' Huh.... So, um, is everything cool?"

"Hm, yes Rainbow dear, We're 'cool'. And when would I ever find myself surprised when it comes to love? The first rule of love is that it is impossible to predict."

Releasing a large sigh, Rainbow Dash smiled weakly.

"Oh, and Dash? That was not the most romantic description, not in the least.” Rarity replied lightly. " I would highly recommend fluffing up the description a tad, for when you tell Fluttershy. You know how she is. She won't leave you alone until she gets a straight answer, the dear."

Dash nodded sheepishly, and turned her attention to the lump that was Twilight. "Twi, you can come out now."

Twilight shuddered, and a small mumbled was heard. "nuh uh..."

"Come on, Twilight, come out. They don't hate ya."

Twilight, after a bit of goading, slowly curled up under the blankets and sighed. "Do I have to?"

Rainbow rolled her eyes, and grinned. "Don't make me come under there..."

"It's alright, Rainbow. Now Twilight, may we hear your side of the story?" Rarity responded.

Twilight felt herself blushed lightly. She felt the inexplicable urge to lie, but she knew that AppleJack would catch on if she did. However, she could use an excuse. Yeah, that would work. "Oh, um... I, well, kissed Dash, and slipped? I can't really remember much. Well, I can, but it give me a headache thinking to much. Sorry." Twilight mumbled. It wasn't a lie, but it kept her outside of the spotlight. She didn't know why, but she hadn't felt this nervous since the end of the year test Celestia gave her.

"So, anyway...umm... you guys together? When did that happen?" Applejack added. "Wait... were you the two we caught makin' out in our barn last monday nigh'?"

Rainbow opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Instead, Twilight was the one who responded. "Wha-what? No! We, Er, I was in my bedroom, reading Daring Doo."

Rainbow nodded, but she gave Twilight a smirk. "Yeah. That was a good one. Speaking of reading awesome stuff, wanna do the whole kissing thing again sometime?"

Twilight was caught completely off guard by the question, and she couldn't help but poke her head out from under the covers for a second. "Wait... Did you just... ask me out?"

Rarity, who had been caught up mouthing the word 'Kissing,' managed to get back on track when she heard Twilight's response.

"Heavens, I hope not! That is not a proper way to ask somepony out, Dash!" Rarity shouted. She stared grumpily at Dash, who, ironically, cringed slightly at her accusation.

"So, um... how would I ask somepony out? Er, the right way?"

"Well, It is customary to not ask someone out in exchange for kissing, nor is it proper to do so because of books. When you ask somepony out, it should be for companionship. Not... favors." Rarity responded, holding the strangest expression on her face.

Rainbow sighed, and nodded. "Fine... Twilight, I really like you and everything, would you want to go out with me sometime?"

Twilight stared blankly for a second, before finally managing to mumble out a weak "Wha?"

"Come on, Twily! Dashie's like, totally awesome! Say yes! I know I would! Well, If I liked girls, and if Dashie was my type, and if I didn't have a thing about Unicorns, but, if she was all of those things, I would!"

"Come on, Twi. If'n you want to say yes, Say it. We won' judge ya. Well, I won't."

Twilight swallowed, and looked around for a few seconds.

"I, um... I...." Twilight mumbled. "Uh... Yes?"

Immediately after Twilight's answer, Pinkie Pie shouted. "Whoo Hooo!! This calls for a party! I gotta go get my things!"

And before anyone could stop her, She ran out of the room.

"Well, uh, congratulations! I'm sure Y'all will be happy? Sorry, Ahm not any good at this. Hope you two do well, and all. So, uh, Twilight, Dash? That's, er, quite a catch, and such."

Rarity snorted, and grinned. "Really, Applejack? Twilight is like finding a giant diamond while looking for a bit of garnet dust. And I'm sure that Dash knows this. I mean, the Princess's personal student? The little sister to the captain of the royal guard? She's technically even a princess, being Shining's little sister. All she's missing is the wings."

Rainbow Dash felt herself looking down at her hooves. Twilight was out of her league. How did she not see this before? The most magical unicorn, like, ever, and what was she? A Wonderbolts wannabe. How did she think that she had a chance? But, then again, Twilight also said yes. Which meant something.

But now, she was up the creek without a paddle. She had a date lined up, and even that was a problem.

Mainly, because she didn't know how to set up dates, or what Twilight even liked. But, after she thought for a second, she realized that luck gave a bit of mercy on her. After all, She did have a self proclaimed dating expert in the room.

All she had to do was ask for help.

Clouded perceptions v3

A/N Reread the previous chapter if you haven't already. I changed the ending a bit.

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She needed to ask for help.

The instant the thought passed through her somewhat blank mind, Rainbow Dash swore that she felt the color drain from her face. It wasn't even a suggestion, or a way to make what she could do cooler or better. It was a full blown requirement, with all the knowledge that she would be a failure if she refused, all held behind it's accursed doors, waiting to release it the instant she attempted to say no. And that tore her apart. The angry half of her wanted to refuse out of spite, to let her fly and fall on her own, all while making a giant crater in the process. But the other half wanted to do the absolute best for her friend. Correction, her marefriend.

Double correction. To her possible marefriend.

That fact alone would take some significant getting used to. She was no longer responsible for just herself and tank, but the feelings of a single pony, one who would, in theory, complete her. Or, well, complete more of her. She doubted all that junk Rarity rambled about was actually right. But, on the off chance that she was, the question would simply change to if she would become Rainbow Sparkle, Or if Twilight would be Twilight Dash.

Before she could continue on that train of thought, the conductor, AKA her newly found brain, started questioning if she was actually thinking of marriage, sending up red flags along the way.

'Woah, Dash. Calm yourself. It's a bit early to be thinking of marriage.'

After mentally reminding herself of what she needed to do, not what she was fantasizing about, she decided to hunt down someone with plenty of experience in romance.

Sadly, she only knew of one pony who actively dated in her circle of friends.

Applejack.

After all, while Rarity was the romantic, she was... well, very picky. She knew almost everything she knew from reading trashy romances, not from dating everypony her grandma set her up with.

Which Applejack did.

Plus, if that weren't enough, Dash knew that she wouldn't be able to stand another one of her lectures on finding a special somepony. Even the thought of being heckled by Applejack for asking for help was more alluring.

She slowly forced herself to look over to the Yellow mare, and found herself staring for a moment.

After a few more seconds, she managed to choke out the question.

"Umm... Applejack, Can I talk to you outside?"

Applejack, who had been looking at Twilight's medical chart and pretending to know what she was reading, raised a very noticeable eyebrow, but nodded nonetheless, and trotted outside the room, maintaining eye contact the entire time.

"Alrigh'. I'll meet ya out there."

Rainbow felt herself swallow, and, feeling the eyes of Rarity and Twilight, followed her out. When she finally, after what felt like several hours, found herself outside of the room, and, in a panic, she slammed the door behind her and spun around to see her orange friend.

"Umm, Applejack? Ok, so, You know how you're always saying that you've dated tons? Well, I kinda, sorta, like, really, really reaaally need help."

Applejack stared blankly for a second, before she let loose the largest grin Dash had ever seen. "Well well. Miss Dash here needs... how would Rares say it? Oh yeah, *ahem* Miss Dasheil requires a undetermined amount assistance in the various forms of courtship and romance, and wishes for me to be the purveyor of such indispensable knowledge."

"Don't do that! It's bad enough when Rarity does it. With you, it's just not right."

Applejack felt herself roll her eyes, and nodded. "Fine, fine. But what do ah get for helpin' y'all. Mah services don' come cheap.

Rainbow felt her eyebrows furrow, and she sent her friend a glare. "What? You expect me to pay? What happened to friends stick together, and all that junk you always tell me when you ask for help?"

Applejack quickly grinned, and gave a wink. "Well, I wanna get a slice of some pie. If'n you catch mah drift."

Dash felt her eye twitch. Was Applejack serious?

"Um, I think I have some, well, ok, a few... fine, a ton of problems with helping you get some.... Yeah, I don't even feel right calling it pie."

Applejack raised her eyebrows for a second, before immediately groaning. "Ugh, no! I mean' I wanted you to help me sneak one of 'dem zap apple pies from Granny, not.... Yeah,  see where y'all have your mind. I'm startin' to worry for Twi."

Rainbow Dash felt herself blush a bit. How was she supposed to know that? There was no reason for Applejack to go all wiggily eyebrow for stealing pie. Heck, Dash did that once a week. And Granny hated her for it. But It was definitely not wiggily eyebrow worthy.

But... something seemed off. Applejack could always just ask for a pie. And, she didn't even like them. "Wait.... Didn't you say you hate Granny Smith's zap apple pie?"

Applejack grinned weakly, and shook her head. "No, Erm, I jus' dislike the flavor, and texture, an', well, all of it. It tastes like somepony shoved a electrical cord in mah mouth. But it ain' for me."

Ah. That made more sense. But nonetheless, Rainbow Dash thought about it for a second, before feeling a grin grow. She knew one tidbit of apple lore that Applejack didn't, and she felt that now was the time to use it. And then bend it a bit. And possibly break it. After all, it was all in the name of comedy. "Well, I think I remember Twilight saying that Zap Apples can help in the... heh, romance department. So, who is it for, eh? I won't help you unless you tell me."

Wait. That felt too weak. She had to up the ante a bit. After all, she was not one to go halfway when it came to teasing Applejack. "Wait.... Is it for Rarity?"

"What? No! It's, erm, for my brother. Yeah."

Rainbow Dash felt her smile grow. Forget what she had earlier, Now the possibilities for teasing were endless. It was as if she was given a voucher for a prank store, and she got all she wanted. So, now the only question is which option she should use.

Should she use the tried and true classic of hinted brother love? It was a good one, and Applejack always got all defensive when she teased her bout it. Or should she go for the throat, and call Applejack out for lying? If there was anything that bothered Applejack the most, out of all the things she had done before, it was calling her a liar.

.

Weighing the options, Dash chose the first one. After all, it was funnier, and she still needed her help. Applejack could stand teasing, but calling her a liar was a huge no no. "So, you plan on using a... what did she call it? Affro-dezac or something on your brother. I really don't know what to say. I mean, like, really, I'm lost. Wait wait wait, I think I got something. Ok, Um... Eww?"

Applejack felt herself turn from a slight pink to a deep red. "What? No, no!"

"So, who do you want to use it on? Because I've seen how you look at Rarity. And, well, she's... pretty, I guess. Not my type, though. Just a hint too much of uber ultra snobby."

"It's not for Rarity!"

*GURGLE*

Before she could continue the teasing, her brain, with the subtlety of a thousand angry flying squirrels armed with dull spoons, reminded her why she was even outside, using the most effective method it possessed.

It's direct control over the bladder.

Feeling her suddenly screaming bladder, Dash was forced to realize something. No matter how funny it was, it was not worth wetting one's self in a public area to tease Applejack. So, using her skills of deduction, she decided that the best way to avoid this was to cut the teasing short. "So, I get you some Zap apple pie, and I get help setting up a date. Fair?"

Applejack stared at Dash for a second, before blinking. "What? No more teasin'? No more 'Ah love my brother?' That ain't the Rainbow Dash Ah know.... Wait, You must really be all head over hooves for Twiligh' if'n y'all are willin' to give up. Fine. You get me a Pie, and ah help you set up an awesome date."

*GURRRRRGLE~*

"Um, Yeah, sure. I really like her, thanks, and Now, I really gotta go, so bye!"

Without another word, Dash rushed down the hallway. She figured that she could work out the details later.

"Where is that girl off in such a hurry?"

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*cough cough*

Twilight swore that she could feel a physical cloud of awkwardness in the room. After Dash and Applejack left, It was just Rarity and her. Which, normally, wouldn't be so bad. However, Immediately after the two more.... blunt mares left, Rarity decided that the time was right to bring up the topic of romance, and, more importantly, what Twilight personally preferred. In all honesty, Dash could take her to a green field and fly around in circles for five hours and she would be happy. But, as Twilight learned, that wasn't a great answer to give Rarity.

In fact, in her friend's eyes, it was an abomination.

"I'm sorry Twilight, But that is a horrible date." Was exactly what she was told after she said that. Apparently, Twilight found that she wasn't allowed to have a preference in what she liked, and, ironically, when it comes to a subject that constantly tells you to be yourself, she found that there was a disturbing lack of actual self expression, and that there was more insincere behavior and deception then politics, all nestled inside what seemed to be a cute and loving little package.

It was a wonder anypony got together at all.

Within the course of five seconds,  Twilight was told that her opinions stank, and immediately after that, she was treated to a long lecture on the proper expectations of first and second dates, as well as socially acceptable returns for dates. Such as allowing Dash to walk her home on her second date, as well as saying goodnight. Not a goodnight kiss, just a "goodnight, thank you for spending money on me!" goodnight.

The worst kind of good night.

Correction, the second worst kind.

And, if that wasn't the worst part, According to her very limited knowledge on the subject, she knew that that was the right way to do it. All the books she read told her to do this, from the most generic of romances to the most complex and intricate dating assistance books. And she hated it. She already kissed Dash twice, and, well, she really, really liked it. She didn't want to stop already.

But, she didn't want to do this wrong. She only had one chance, and she wasn't going to mess it up.

Hopefully.

However, that didn't mean that she wanted to sit through Rarity's lecture. It was, as Dash would say, really dumb.

"So... I would recommend putting on a nice outfit for your first date. It adds a aura from you that says that you are serious with the relationship. But nothing too nice. If that happens, then you may seem like you are above what your date has set up for you, and that you are better then them. And we both know how self conscious Dash is."

Twilight rolled her eyes, and rolled over in bed. She would do anything to get out of this. She would even help clean Spike's bedroom...

Wait.

"Um, Rarity? I don't want to interrupt, but...Where is Spike?

_____________________________________________________________________________________

"Hellooooo? Anyone here?"

Emptiness. Echos.

Not a single soul in the library.

And worse, there was no one to help him get the jar of gems from the top of the refrigerator.

"Helloooooooo!? Twilight? Rainbow Dash?....

Not a single answer.

Owlowiscious?!"

Immediately afterward, Spike heard a single, groggy response come from upstairs.

"Who?"

Alright. So he wasn't completely alone. He had a groggy owl, which meant he could get the gems, if he asked nicely and kept a few owl treats on him. But still, Twilight was gone, and the library was open. And while He had been in charge before, there usually was a warning beforehoof... beforeclaw. Beforehoof/claw. But this time, Twilight was gone, Dash was gone, And he was alone. It was just him, owlyscious, and that strange old mare that kept to the dark corner of the library and grumbled.

Spike did not truly know what fear was until he found her while he was coming back from the bathroom. At three in the morning.

Thank Celestia that Twilight decided to change the library hours after that.

Spike, after deciding to start his unwanted job, grumpily walked over to the librarian's desk and sat down. Today was going to be one of those days, and he hated those days. Last time he had one of those days, he was turned into a moose.

It took Twilight a the better part of three hours to change him back, and even then, It took him three months to get over his very rational, yet crippling fear of asparagus.

Asparagus, with their... greenness and stench of evil.

"Um, is the library open?"

Wait. Spike recognized that voice. He would have to think about his asparagus accident later. He stood up on the chair, and peeked over the top of the desk he sat in. "Scootaloo?"

"Spike?"

Spike smiled. Today may not be so bad. After all, he didn't have to receive every letter he had ever sent this time. All at once. While ponyville was being destroyed. "Back here!"

Scootaloo quickly trotted into the room with a echo-ey sound, and Spike gave her a large smile. "Hey Scoot, whatchya need?"

"Well, Sweetie Belle is busy today, And Applebloom has chores. So, I was wondering if you wanted to pla- Er, I mean, Hang out?"

Spike felt his smile disappear. There went any chance of today not sucking. He might as well turn back into a moose. "I want to, but I have to watch the library today. Twilight's gone."

Scootaloo's smile shank a bit for a second, before returning. "Well, We could always play-, er, dang it, hang out, inside the library..."

Spike sat there for a moment, the gears in his head moving for a second before realizing that, like always, Scootaloo was right. "You're totally right! So, umm... What could we do?"

Scootaloo grinned, before scrunching up her face to think.. "We... er, we... We can play house! I'll be the mom, you be the dad, Owlowiscious will be the creepy uncle-"

"Who!"

"And ol' Mrs. Glower over there can be the baby!"

"I ain't been no baby since firty free!"

Spike sat there for a second, expressionless. The more he thought about it, the less he liked the idea. After a very long second, he decided he had to speak up.

"That... sounds.... kinda dumb."

Scootaloo's expression, unexpectedly, fell like a stone, but Spike continued. He was going to say what had to be said.

"I mean, Owlysicious is so much easier to put in a diaper then ol' Mrs. Glower. I think he should be the baby, and she can be the creepy uncle."

"I ain't none yo uncles, you yukules!"

Scootaloo's soul crushed frown turned into a full bloomed smile at this, and she happily nodded immediately afterward. "You're right. But what am I going to do with this adult diaper?"

Spike shrugged. A few thoughts went through his head, such as curiosity in regards to where Scootaloo even found an adult diaper, or why she kept it with her, but those seemed... boring. A more interesting line of thought was found in wondering how he would use the diaper. After a few seconds of thinking, he found the answer. "Well, We can always have her as a even creepier, bed wetting uncle!"

Scootaloo smiled, and she went upstairs. "Alright. I'm gonna go grab the 'baby'. This is gonna be so awesome!"

Spike nodded, and went to the supply closet. "Oh, Scootaloo! Watch out for the baby's claws! He aims for the eyes!"

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"Alright. So, All I gotta do is go get the reservations?"

Applejack smiled and nodded proudly, and Dash was handed the address. "Eeyup! Oh, and be careful, that place charges a ton, so you better bring a lot of money, or Y'all will have a bad time. It's like, seventy five bits for one foodstuff there, so In reckon y'all should save up."

Rainbow Dash coughed. Seventy five bits? That's what she used for a week's worth of food for both her and tank! But, then again, it is the nicest restaurant in all of fillydelphia, and apparently it was awesome or something. She sighed inwardly, and shook her head. For Twilight. Only for her.

Well, for any of her friends, really, but hey, she wasn't trying to date them.

Hopefully they would become a special something, or at least not mess everything up. Or else she would be wasting enough money to go to two Wonderbolt's shows in style.

"Urk! Well, I guess I'm gonna be broke for a month. Can you keep Twilight company for a few hours? I'm gonna fly down.... er, up, and get the reservation."

Applejack nodded, and smiled. "So, Y'all gonna spend a couple hundred bits on your first date? You must like her. That, or Y'all want to get her..."

"Finish that sentence, and I'll teach Applebloom how to use a blowtorch. Now, I'm going like, right now, so tell Twi I had to go do something, and I'll be back in a half hour."

Applejack smiled and nodded. "Alrigh'. But ya better hurry back, Or I'll be the one to give Twi her goodnight kiss."

Before Applejack finished her sentence, Rarity, like the angel of ill timed divine fury, stepped forth from the room.

"You will do no such thing, and I'm appalled at your suggestion to do such!"

Applejack jumped a good five feet and turned bright red. "Oh, er, hi Rares, How's it going?"

Rainbow Dash smiled. As much as she would absolutely love to watch Applejack squirm under the painful looking glare Rarity was giving her, She had to leave, or else she would be stuck there.

Watching Applejack getting her flank kicked.

And laughing at her.

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"And lastly, Twilight is with Rainbow now, Not you. So, you go and keep her company, and if I so hear about one tiny attempt at a kiss, I'll use that stunning spell Twilight taught me, and I'll make you into my own personal dress mannequin! Now, I have to go check up on Spikey Wikey, due to somepony not telling him that Twilight is hospitalized, so you better behave."

Rarity quickly turned away from the red faced are, and made her way out of the hospital, moving towards Twilight's library. She was still seething when it came to Applejack. However, She had a duty, and she wasn't about to let Applejack stop her from fulfilling it.

After several minutes of trotting, She quickly found herself at the front door, and, with a practiced ease, opened it.

However, she found that Twilight had a very good reason to be worried about spike. Immediately upon opening the door, she was greeted by a sight that could only be described with a single phrase.

Mother of Faust.

The Library, if it could still be called such, well, wasn't anymore. The shelves were all tipped over, the books looked like a rampaging rhino tried to make a bird's nest, and happened to be missing an eye, and never once truly seen an bird's nest beyond a little filly's hoof drawn picture.

The tables were either broken, tipped over, or, in the case of the smaller one that happened to be located in the dark corner of the library, on fire, and it looked like somepony had a pillow fight from the rafters, using fishing nets filled with feathers as pillows.

She looked to the other side of the room, and found a local pony, know by the name of Timeturner, waving and pointing desperately.

"Watch out! Demon Baby!"

Rarity turned her head in the direction he pointed, and saw something she never thought she would see. Owlyscious. In a diaper. covered in orange feathers, and holding what looked like a severely oversized stalk of asparagus. Which was aimed right at her face.

She had enough time to voice one errant thought.

"Why asparagus?"

_____________________________________________________________________________________

He sometimes hated his job.

After all, it had crappy hours, it paid horribly, and it was nearly impossible to raise a family due to the hours.

However, it still held it's surprises. After all, when his date was interrupted, he thought he would be doing some saving the world thing. Or at least something timey wimey.

Instead, he learned why a Pegasus and a dragon should never reproduce. When he entered the library, he was greeted by the spawn of Satan himself, all wrapped up in a ball of rampaging owlish fury.

It's too bad that not a soul even knew who Satan was here.

At least the universe was kind enough to provide some comedic relief, because the demonic "baby", if it could even be called that, was dressed in nothing but a diaper, and wielding nothing but a small stalk of Asparagus. However, judging by the way the two parent's reacted towards the asparagus, he had to assume that it wasn't natural.

So, doing the one thing that was stupider then trying to force a owl into a diaper, he used his screwdriver on it. Looking back, it was a horrible idea. After all, even if a unknown object is being used as a weapon, that does not mean that said object isn't... different in the eyes of reality. It was a rookie mistake, to be honest.

That small piece of asparagus? Well, it grew. It was now the size of a small tree. And, apparently, it somehow gotten lighter in the process. Which meant that he now had to deal with an angry demonic baby owl wielding a magically enhanced asparagus stalk that carried unknown effects without any thought on what damage it may cause. Or any problems swinging it around as if it was a foal's first baseball bat. After all, it must have weighed roughly an quarter ounce before he accidentally enhanced it. Knowing his luck, It probably weighed half that now.

So, he went to plan B. He took cover. After all, he couldn't do much if he lost his head, now could he? And worse, he finally managed to ask out the mare that had been assisting him. He wasn't wanting to screw that up by having to change into someone else again. So, he hid behind some table, while the demon spawn rampaged without abandon.

And there, he planned. Well, that's not true. He would have, except the universe, in all it's bad taste in comedy, decided to introduce a new player in the game. A white unicorn, one whom he had minimal interaction with, entered the library. And, within a record five seconds, she met the receiving end of the asparagus stalk.

And she quickly was changed into a moose.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Rage. Blistering Fury.

Hatred.

And a strange craving for revenge.

Owlowiscious felt all of these things. After all, He was woken up in the middle of the day, and, by some strange orange filly, forced into a old diaper. And normally, that would just be a normally irritating occurrence. After all, the same pony dyed him somewhat pink before. But no, she then took him downstairs, all while restraining him in a infant's blanket, and force fed him leafy greens. Which, as many would know, is not a major staple in an owl's diet.

In fact, It wasn't even fully edible to them. After all, Owls are carnivorous, and leafy greens are not something that happens to be meat.

After this indignity, he was, as they would say, angry. He hooted and shrieked, hoping to get the attention of Twilight or Spike. But, after a full three minutes, All the leafy greens were gone, and he was sporting a wondrous stomach ache. This orange filly, nay, this orange demon, then picked him back up, and took him to the main floor. And there he saw, in all his purple and green glory, was Spike.

He did what he thought was best at the time. He cried out for help. And, to his relief, he removed him from the dark one's grasp. And there, he was...

Given a bottle.

He didn't know what to feel at first. Surprise? Astonishment?

Anger?

Heck. He felt all of these things. And, while he knew that he was an owl, and therefore lacked the emotional spectrum of ponies and dragons, he still felt that he deserved to feel betrayal. After all, He not only allowed the demon to torture him, but he was in league with her.

He betrayed him.

After that, he decided that he would get revenge. That he would make them pay the only way he knew.

By clawing them.

In the face.

However, before he could free himself, and thus bring down his well deserved fury upon their unprotected corneas, he saw something.

The door to the lab was open.

After a few seconds of mental debate, he decided that there were much more effective ways of punishment. Such as bringing up Spike's greatest fear.

So, he quickly bit Spike's finger the instant he had the chance. And, as he predicted, he was dropped, and he was freed from his cloth-like shackles. And so, he shot into the lab, and found the one item that Twilight never manged to truly destroy. Even though she had tried. Repeatedly.

The cursed stalk of asparagus, which was one of Twilight's most spectacular failures. No matter what she tried on it, the stalk was immune. And it had adverse reactions to magical creatures. Such as Dragons. And presumably Pegasi. Therefore, it the perfect weapon.

All he needed was the key from the keyhook, and his rampage of revenge could begin.

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"Alright.... Buckingham street, check. Ummm.... Now, where is this stupid place?"

Dash was, as the average pony would say, lost. However, she preferred the term, 'In relocation.'

It was one of the more blatant lies she told, but it made her feel better.

However, it wasn't working right now. After all, she had been looking for the same place for roughly an hour, and she hadn't found coat nor mane of the place. It was almost as if the restaurant no longer existed.

"Hey, um, unicorn! Where is the.... what was it called, The gilded mare, or whatever?

Immediately after she shouted this, a colt jumped, and turned around. "Oh, umm.... It moved. I think it's on... what, Princess Platinum street? I'm not really sure."

"Oh, ok. Thanks. Now, where is that?"

The colt shrugged. "I don't know, that way?"

Dash grumbled. She was hoping for something good, like 'go down the street for 1,475 meters, and take a fifty seven degree turn left, then continue north for a quarter mile.'

Without another word, she trotted in the direction the colt pointed. She hoped the platinum street was close, or she might be later coming back.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

"So, umm.... Hello sugarcube. I guess Ah'm gonna keep y'all company?"

The situation was awkward. The position, Awkward.

The chaffing hospital gown she had on. Awkward.

The fact that Applejack was talking to her through the bathroom curtain?

Uber awkward. She had thought that she was alone, so she decided to take a shower, just to clear her head. Instead, she was in the bathroom for three seconds, and, again, she was interrupted. She didn't even have enough time to disrobe and turn on the shower. But at least this time, the interruption was polite enough to introduce itself, instead of peeping on her. She didn't think she could handle another peeping tom. She barely survived the last one.

"Um, cool. So, um, can I... shower?"

Applejack nodded and quickly left, leaving Twilight alone with her thoughts.

Such as what she was going to do. She had gotten what she wanted, A special somepony, and the one she had her eye on. She managed to get Rainbow Dash. And now.... Now what? She didn't know how to date, and she certainly didn't know enough about Rainbow Dash to be sure that they would get along. She was going in blind.

'What am I going to do?' She grumbled to herself as she took off the gown. She quickly threw it over the curtain, and shook her head hard. Which was a mistake. She felt herself grow dizzy, and she grabbed the nearby shower bench for support. She forced herself to sit down on the bench she held, and she waited for several seconds before she regained her sense of balance.

She sighed weakly as she sat there, sitting on the cold hospital shower bench. She was stuck. She got what she wanted, but she didn't know if she could keep it. Or deserved it.

Or even if it was really what she wanted.

But she couldn't be sure of it anyway. She was currently sporting a nice head injury, and was probably not thinking clearly. however, she knew one thing. Rainbow wanted her enough to ask her out. Or felt guilty enough to ask her out.

"Why can't anything be clear?!" She shouted to absolutely nopony. She felt the urge to hit something, so she aimed at the shower wall in front of her.

Swinging her hoof, she hit the shower knob, and it retaliated in kind, spraying ice cold water on her. The cold water jolted her mind into a startling clarity, and she realized two important things. One, she was freezing.

And two, she realized that, no matter what, she should try. And try. And try again, and again. Try until she figures out what she wants. Whether it be Rainbow, or some cute colt that walks by and winks.

And until that happened, she would try.

"Watch out, Rainbow! I'm gonna do my hardest!"

"Good for you, Twi! Now, stop shoutin' dirty things!"

Twilight felt herself blush, and sat down and turned up the warm water.

Head injuries sucked.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

"Is... Is that...?"

The colt smiled. "Yes. Yes it is. We serve true aged Apple family cider. We ship it in from Appaloosa. We even age it for 6 months extra."

Dash felt herself drool. True, bonafide Apple family cider. Six months out of season. The real McCoy.

And it was served at a singles club. Which meant guaranteed flirting and offering of drinks.

But... it wasn't disloyal, was it? She wasn't there for the colts and fillies, after all. Just for the cider.

"I.... Umm.... Is it possible to get a bottle to go?"

The crier grinned, and shook his head. "Nope. All drinks must be consumed inside the club. Company policy."

Dang. There went that idea. Now, she was torn between two choices. Staying out of the singles bar, or getting some Apple family cider.

"Umm, how much is a glass of the cider?"

The crier smiled. "75 Bits per glass."

Seventy. Five. Bits. To hay with that.

"It's really go... Wa-wait! Miss, where are you going?"

"I'm going to go somewhere cheap, like the gilded mare."

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Two hours.

It took her two whole hours of looking. Down every street, Up every alley, and everywhere in between.

And, after two hours, she found it in the opposite direction that she was told. Getting the reservation was easy enough, she had them take her name, the amount of ponies, and was told that the soonest they could serve her was within a week, at seven thirty. So, she had a date.

And now, all she needed to know was how to get home.

"Excuse me, sir? Do you know which direction is Ponyville? I need to get home."

"Oh, of course. It's due north. Oh, and a word of advice. This establishment is formal wear only, so I would recommend getting a nice dress for yourself, and possibly a nice suit for your coltfriend."

Well, crap. "Oh, Umm, Ok. Would two dresses work, instead of a suit?"

"Perhaps It would. However, If this is a date, I will have to ask you to act more civilized, and please refrain from the more grand displays of affection. While our establishment is known for it's uniformity in treatment of customers, two mares would disturb the other customers. Fillydelphia isn't known for it's.... open mindedness."

Rainbow Dash felt a pang of anger. So, she wasn't allowed to hug or kiss, huh? Did the ponies of fillydelphia have a problem with mares with mares?

"I'm sorry for any inconvenience, but, if you'd please excuse me, you are holding up the line."

Dash looked behind her, and saw a long line behind her. This would have to wait for later.

"Alright."

And with that, she left, and started on her way home.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Beep...

Beep...

Beep...

*THUNK*

"Ugh...... Wha...? Huh? Spike, can you go check what that was?"

No answer.

Twilight slowly sat up in her bed, and realized something. That she wasn't in her bed. "Oh yeah... Hospital."

Beep...

Beep...

Beep...

That, and she was hooked up to what must have been the most obnoxious heart monitor.

She rubbed her eyes, and, after her vision cleared up, looked around, and found that she could still see absolutely nothing. "Hello?"

*THUNK*

Twilight felt a hint of fear. She was alone, in what she guessed was the middle of the night.

In a empty hospital. In the dark.

*Click*

The door. Something was coming through the door.

Twilight felt her heart speed up, and she pulled the covers up a bit.

bebeep bebeep...

bebeep bebeep...

bebeep bebeep...

"H-hello?"

*SLAM*

Bebeep-bebeep-bebeep-bebeep-

Twilight jumped, and hid. It was here for her. She knew it. She should have let applejack go home, especially when she offered to stay the night here.

"Twi?"

Twilight felt her ear twitch. She recognized that voice. Slowly, she lifted her head up from under the covers and looked back to the door cautiously. After all, something might just be imitating her friend.

She focused her eyes, and saw....

Rainbow Dash. In hind sight, it should have been obvious. She forcibly sat the rest of the way up, and looked to her friend. "o-oh, um, Yes, Dash?"

" I just got the date set up. Are you free the same day next week, at seven?"

"Uhh.... It's the middle of the night, Dash. Can't you ask me tomorrow?"

Dash sighed, and shrugged. "Fine. Let me think." She thought for a second, before realizing something She did have something planned then.

"Umm...."

"Please?"

Twilight sighed. Was a surprise visit that important? After all, this was her first real date. Shining armor could wait a day for her to mysteriously appear without warning. After all, it was supposed to be a surprise, anyway. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

"Oh, ok..."

She closed her eyes and sighed, and a second later, she felt something hit her nose. She opened them back up, and she found herself seeing bright blue. Or, what she thought was bright blue. After all, it was still dark.

"Mmmm....."

She was getting another kiss. To be honest, She was hoping for this. She didn't expect it, but still, it was nice. It was warm, and moist.

And on her nose.

And it smelled like Dr. Blast. But, like all good things, it had to come to an end.

After her pegasus "friend" Pulled back, she gave her a smile. "Thanks for the kiss...." She mumbled, blushing lightly. She felt giddy, yet sleepy at the same time. She almost regretted asking for sedatives.

Rainbow Smiled, and gave her cheek a kiss. "No prob Twi. So, I guess I'll let you get back to sleep."

"Wait, umm... Wanna to stay the night?"

Rainbow stared for a second, before sighing.  "I wish I could, but I gotta feed tank."

Twilight felt her smile die. "Oh, umm... Alright. I, er, well... Goodnight Dash."

"Oh, um, right. Er, Night." Dash nodded weakly, and stepped away from the bed.

Crawling under the covers, Twilight made herself comfortable. "Night Dash."

Rainbow grinned slightly, and sighed. "Lik-.... Sleep well, egghead."

She quietly turned around, and closed the door behind her.

Murky judgements

*Thump Thump*

"Wha.... Huh?"

*Thump Thump*

"Hell...hello?"

*Thump Thump*

Twilight groaned. She felt herself forcibly drug into reality, and, immediately after, she felt the annoying pressure of blood rushing through her head, and liquid in her bladder. And so, she opened her eyes, and immediately found that she could see nothing but a mixture of vague blurs and smeared colors, not unlike her last attempt at painting with Rarity.

And, after looking at them for a moment, she noticed that one of them was moving. That certainly sounded familiar as well.

Rarity never did forgive her for that. Nor would she let her buy a paint set again.

"Hello? Umm... Wh-where am I?"

The Blur, or so she presumed, sighed, and shook... some part of it, before speaking in a very bored and rehearsed tone. "Hello. You are at the hospital, Miss Sparkle. You are currently being kept for a severe concussion."

Twilight blinked, (Or so she hoped) and thought for a second. Her vision was blurry, which might be a symptom. She tried to think of common side effects of severe head trauma, but her mind was drawing a blank. Ironic.

"OK, Miss. Could you tell me your full name, date of birth, and current residence?"

Twilight nodded, almost immediately forgetting the previous line of thought, and quickly struggled to answer the mysterious blur's question. While she didn't know who, or what the blur was, it simply wouldn't do to be impolite, and not tell this stranger all of her secrets. "My name is... Twierlight.... No, Twilight Delilah Spankle, er, Sparkle. I was born on... July.... Twenty third, 984 P.NMM. I live... In cama-canterlot. No... I moved, I now live in... The library. 2001 Oak street... In the oak tree."

The doctor nodded, or so she guessed. "Alright, miss Sparkle. I am here to inform you that you have some swelling in the cranial cavity. We are beginning anti-inflammatory spells, so your thought process, vision, judgement, and everything neurological will be impaired for the next several hours. As you are not mentally stable, do not agree with any suggestions or give consent for anything, even from the medical staff. We will also need you to keep conscious for the next several hours, until the spells take full effect for observation. Do you consent to this?"

She barely understood what he said, but, she certainly wasn't going to be a fuddy duddy. So, she gave a consenting nod.

The doctor gave her what she guessed was a approving smile, and looked back down to his chart, before starting again in with his "kill-me-now" style of bored monolog.

"Oh, and you have a visitor. She was quite anxious to see you. If you wish, I'll let her in. Do you consent to this?"

She nodded, and soon after, the doctor-blur left, and a pink topped yellow thing entered the room. Twilight couldn't tell why, but she felt as if this blur was a pushover.

"Hello? Twilight?"

As the push-over's voice entered her head, her mind connected a name to the madness. "Fluttershy?"

Immediately after voicing the name of the yellow one, she felt another question rise from the depths that was her magically addled brain.  "Where... where am I?"

The yellow blur nodded excitedly, and she quickly went to her bedside. "You're in the hospital... Oh dear, How are you feeling? Is you pillow soft enough? Are you warm? Do you want some water- Wait, You're NCO, how about some Ice chips?"

Twilight sat there, before replying with the first thing that came to her mind. "Shy... I... I can't feel my wings."

Her friend, or who she hoped was her friend, looked straight at her. "Ummm.... Twilight? You don't, er, have wings."

Twilight groaned from a pang of pain, before trying to resume her statement.

"Then... how did I fly?"

Fluttershy just kinda... sat there, awkwardly, before responding as only she could. "I'm sorry, but, you never flew. Ummm.... Well, other then in your hot air balloon... So, um, sorry."

After that response, Twilight simply nodded. After all, if Fluttershy said it, it must be true. Nothing Fluttershy said was ever false. That's why she was the tough, honest one. "Ok. So... Ummm... When did you get here?"

Fluttershy seemed to smile at that, and sighed. "I got here just a few minutes ago. So, umm.. If you don't mind me asking... Why are you here? I only found out from one of my bird friends seeing you...and the doctor said you would explain it to me... He sounded so bored..."

Twilight thought about her affliction, and remembered something about inflammation. That meant bigger, right?  "I... I can't remember. Something about... me getting bigger? My face or something Swelling?"

Fluttershy sighed at this answer. "Oh... Umm... Okay?"

For a moment, there was no noise but the beeping of her heart monitor, as Fluttershy tried to interpret Twilight's vague answer. But, after a few minutes, the yellow pegasus broke the silence.

"Oh, someone left you a card."

Her friend picked up the card, and read it, before turning slightly red.

"I'm sorry... I got.... you p...."

Twilight felt herself blink. P? P what? Did she wet herself?

Did someone get her something dirty?

"Oh... My... goodness." Her canary yellow friend mumbled.

Twilight felt her head swim again for a moment, before sighing. "I... have no clue what's going on. I blame the brain damage."

Fluttershy stared blankly at the card for a moment, before looking at Twilight. "Why is your brain damaged?"

Twilight thought for a moment. That was a good question. She forced her addled mind to do something it truly didn't want to; think. After a moment though, she vaguely recalling how she got brought here. She was mercilessly bludgeoned with a bathtub. Only one mare would do that. Dash, and her phobia of the clean. "I think it Rari, no, it was Dash."

Fluttershy froze instantly, before questioning Twilight. "You sure?"

Twilight though for a moment, and vaguely remembered being in a bathtub before waking up in the hospital. "Yeah, pretty sure."

Her friend sat there for a moment, before looking back to her. "So... where is Rainbow Dash?"

Twilight felt her breath catch for a second. Fluttershy sounded really serious, which was weird. She was normally the crazy party girl of the group. "I dunno."

Fluttershy expression became indiscernible for a moment, before shouting loudly. That there, that seemed normal. She was the loud one, after all. "ANGEL!"

Twilight winced at the shout, but almost immediately after, a small bunny sprinted into her room.

"Angel, I know you were getting us some food, but I need you to watch Twilight now. I have to go... talk with somepony. It's important."

The bunny gave a skeptical nod, and hopped closer to her bedside.

And with that, Fluttershy left the room, with a aura that seemed, at least to her, horribly unnatural. Maybe someone stole her drama couch again.

"Here ya go Tank. I'll be right back after ya do your stuff."

Tank gave her a slow, but thankful smile, and she couldn't help but return it. After giving a nice, gentle rub to her beloved pet's head, she gave a strong stroke of her wings, bringing her straight into the air. She flew straight for a bit, before bleeding off some energy by making a few loops. She couldn't help but feel giddy as she landed on her own doorstep.

After all, she did just successfully ask out the hottest mare in town. Well, she did last night. But it still felt awesome.

She grinned to herself as she opened the door, and, upon entering the homestead, looked around.

"Huh... Maybe I should clean up this place a bit. In case Twi wants to come over and hang."

And so, she started. She whistled as she cleaned off the coffee table, removing ancient wonderbolts magazines that predated Scootaloo and cups of liquids long since dried, wiping crumbs and various old foodstuffs off and wiping the table down. Then, as she hummed, she vacuumed the floor, cleaning the same bits of old crumbs and old molted down from the table off the floor. And after that, she actually did the dishes. And, after throwing away the newly crushed and shattered plates and glasses, She dusted, using a can of furniture polish she didn't even knew she owned.

It must have been from Fluttershy. She was always so insistent that she cleaned her home. But it wasn't like she had an actual reason before. It wasn't like anyone besides Shy could get up here anyway.

After she finished her living room, she went to the room that needed the most cleaning. Her bedroom.

And so, she did. She sang as she cleaned her closet, organizing her very few dresses, she made her bed, washed the neglected sheets and blankets, vacuumed, and, after throwing away the charred remains of what once was a vacuum, she even organized the bookshelf somewhat, realizing that she may have been overzealous in the purchase of a full bookshelf for roughly one shelf of books.

She even scrubbed the mysterious stain on her carpet. By hoof. To her, it was a big deal, even if all she managed was to get her hooves soapy. But, after all was said and done, the room looked... reasonably presentable.

Rainbow couldn't help but look around for a moment, feeling pride wash over her from a job... "finished". And it wasn't long before she was smiling to herself. "Thank goodness that's ove-"

But, as fate would have it, the universe decided to punish Dash for attempting to speak such slanderous lies, and Fluttershy crashed through her window and landed on her bed, showering her somewhat clean room with broken glass.

"Fluttershy!?"

As she stared at indignation at her pink haired friend, she watched as she shook her mane, freeing some glass from it.

"Shy, that was like, awesome and everything, but what are you-"

*SMACK*

Before she could finish her sentence, the yellow pegasus smacked her straight in the face. She stumbled back an inch or so, before looking forward to her suddenly enraged friend. "Fluttershy, what the heck!? That almost hurt!"

Before she could react, Fluttershy hit her again. "HOW DARE YOU!"

Rainbow Dash stumbled back a few more inches, before shaking her head. "What did I do this tim-"

Before she could finish the sentence, Fluttershy pushed her over. "How dare you do that to her!"

Rainbow Dash tried to get back up, but found herself rolled over, as gently as if she was a newborn.

"I'm sorry! I just liked Tank better! And I didn't want a kitty!"

Fluttershy growled. Since when did she growl?

"Not her, Twilight!"

Before she could react, She felt terrifyingly gentle hooves grab her leg.

"No-no-no-no!"

She tried to crawl away, but her still moist and slightly soapy hooves found no purchase on her freshly scrubbed carpet. It seemed that her failure to dry her hooves properly would be her downfall.

Just like her uncle Sven.

And, as suddenly as the pulling started, it stopped. And was immediately replaced with the feeling of course rope.

"Fluttershy, what are you-OOMPH!"

She immediately stopped her questioning when one of her dirty socks was stuffed into her mouth, reminding her of the importance of doing laundry. She tried to flail her two free limbs, to strike back at her unforeseen attacker, but they were all expertly dodged, making her resistance look less like a dramatic struggle, and more like the brutal mauling of a somewhat sad clown.

It was almost as if the mare had experience in tying up agitated animals. And, as quickly as her resistance lasted, her capture was even quicker.

And, as all of this happened, all she could wonder was that, of all of her friends, why was it Fluttershy that always was the one to tie her up.

"Oh dear, I'm afraid that didn't work either."

Immediately after he said it, he regretted it, for a long wail came from his... transformed associate, drowning almost every other noise out of the room.

"I'm going to be stuck as a horrible moo-oo-oose~!"

The doctor put on his best forced grin, and turned to his moosey... friend. Well, he wasn't sure about the friend part, seeing as all he'd heard from her was constant whining as to what she'd been changed to, but he was as sure as he was the doctor that she was a moose.

Anyone could notice that.

"Well, yes, but no need to reaffirm that fact, it's quite... obvious."

Another wail. What did she want from him?

"Doctor! She's already sad, you don't need to remind her of her... looks?"

More sobbing. At least it wasn't him that caused it this time. "Well, I'm sorry, but I'm no good with this pony! If I act like she's beautiful, she cries. She's a moose, she cries. I compliment her antlers, she cries. And that one was genuine! They are rather fetching, in a strange way."

He sighed as her turned away from the mare, who called herself Rarity, and looked to his assistant, Ditzy Doo, who was frowning. "You just aren't being sensitive enough. How would you feel, if you were stuck as something you weren't?"

At this comment, he couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. Now she was just teasing him.

Clever girl.

"...Oh, right, sorry. But you know what I mean!"

He grumbled a bit. "Fine. I leave the moose-mare handling to you, and I guess I'll just continue looking for a way to change her back without the cursed vegetable. I hope that dragon and midget pegasi get back here with it soon, along with their hell-spawn."

It was only after this comment, that the moose spoke up. "Wait. Are you telling me that you sent Spike and Scootaloo after it? I thought you said you sent two armed assistants, not children!"

He couldn't help but roll his eyes. "I did. I made those two my temporary assistants in the matter. And you can't expect me to believe those two are children. I mean please, did you see that owl? Only a very powerful pair of beings could spawn something that terrible. Besides, height doesn't have any correlation to power, as Dinky could attest. Small little filly can nearly move the Tardis, and she's twelve. Anyway, I gave them some of the best tools I, erm, "acquired" from the last time we went against the cyber me-, er, ponies. They'll be back in no time."

Before he could continue, he felt a tapping on his shoulder.

"Umm... doctor?"

He turned around, and found himself looking at Derpy. "Umm... was the little Pegasus actually named Scootaloo?"

The doctor gave her a nod. "Yes, But I am sure miss Rari-moose("*Sob*")  is simply mistaken. I mean, She couldn't possibly be a mother of a demon and a child at the same time!"

Derpy shook her head, and sighed. "Doctor, Scootaloo goes to school with Dinky."

For several moments, the room was completely silent. It wasn't until the doctor recovered from this unexpected information that he said something. "...Oh."

He sat there for a moment, before turning around. "Okay, new plan. I stay here and try and fix miss Rari-moose, and you, Ditzy, my dear, will go hunt down the two of them. Any questions?"

Derpy tapped him on the shoulder again, and he turned to face her. "Yes. What exactly did you give them?"

"So, does anypony have any questions?"

Scootaloo looked around, and eyed her friends, before the yellow and red one, Applebloom, spoke up. "Yeah, what exactly are we gonna do about Owlicious when we get to him?"

"Good question, little Apple." Spike responded. He couldn't help but feel a connection to the ones under his command. He felt like a father to them. A father that was, in fact, younger than most of them. A little father. "When we get him, me and Scootaloo will catch him. The doctor said that he was a demon or something, so he told us to be extra careful with him."

Immediately after she finished, Apple bloom raised her hoof. "Only granny can call me that. But alright then, but how do y'all work these things ya gave us? And what exactly do they do?"

Scootaloo couldn't help but grin. They did get some really nice things. Mysterious, magical, mystical things. "Well, the one we gave you is a... burning tool thing. It cuts metal and wood and stuff. It's really cool, and it works kinda like unicorn magic, I guess."

Sweetie Belle lit up when she heard this. "So, these are enchanted? Like, real enchanted, not the silly normal enchantments ponies usually use? 'Cause they said in school that only real enchanted stuff can actually do stuff, instead of just sitting there and being useless, like the royal guard, or Princess Celestia on Hump day."

Spike scratched his chin, and shrugged. "I guess... I mean, all these things do stuff without us doing anything but pressing buttons, so-"

"Ooooh! What does mine do, Spike?"

"Your's... sticks things. To other things."

Sweetie belle smiled widely. "That sounds like it would be useful in catching stuff!

Applebloom nodded, and looked to Spike. "And what does yours do?"

Spike simply grinned, and twirled the thing in his claws. "It can make things bigger, or smaller."

"That's good too!"

Scootaloo nodded in agreement with a grin, and looked back and forth between her team. They all looked to her, and spike, for guidance. So, speech time. "Before today, I saw a buncha weenies, babies, and dictionaries. But, today, we all become... er, mares. And Spike. We will save equestria from the dark menace of the owl, and get our cutie marks doing it! We will hunt it down through the hills, the mountains, through the houses, and we will not rest until we have caught it! Or, until lunch. But we will succeed! So, who's with me!?"

She looked around, and saw nothing but complete resolve. Resolve, and possibly gas.

"Alright, Cutie mark Demon hunters Go!"