Bleeding Strings: Man in a boxby The Drifting BardChaptersgetting to know youI hate Hospitals all that glitters......Ain't gold... Its bathed in a pale moonlightwhen I'm on the trainI've seen this beforegiven work and pay?The times they are a-changingwe'll call it an Irish pubWhiskey, the enabler80% proofmixing wordsin which I find myself freezing my balls offgetting to know youThere was a sudden lurch as Trixie's horn light up with a strange aura. then the room began to move. "what the hell? Trixie... What's going on?" She looked at me for a moment before sitting down and smiling. "I just cast my autopilot spell, what of it?" I blinked in confusion before the answer became apparent. I stood up to look out of a window, clearly seeing the bitter cold winds blowing the ice and snow in all directions. at least we were safe inside this... wooden trailer. "Wait a minute... shouldn't we still be freezing to death? unless...Heating spell?" She nodded. "Trixie thinks you catch on quickly, Gimli" I gave a bashful smile. "New world, New rules... best way to learn" I decided not to question her little tirade into third person. I gave the azure mare a look over, noticing little bits and pieces, she looked slightly malnourished. "You look hungry, give me a second" I walked over to my bag of food, thanking the fates for careful planning and heat. Inside the bag were granola bars, assorted bags of crisps (potato chips to you Americans) a few bottles of power-ade (godly blue liquid) and a few bits of fruit. That's when I noticed the glass bottle sitting there, its brown liquid filling me with unbridled joy. Placing the bottle back in the bag, I handed a granola bar to Trixie. "there ya go, hopefully this should fill the empty stomach for a while" She looked at me for a moment before leaping at me, tackling me into a hug. "Food must be scarce here?" she shakes her head as she buries her face in my chest. "No-pony else has done anything like this for me" I felt hot tears seep through my black shirt. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. "so, all the other ponies treated you like shit?" "Trixie... I deserved it, every moment of it" As the journey went on, She took small bites of the granola bar, telling me of how she used to be known as the Great and powerful Trixie. "To be honest, Trixie was a cheat and a liar, I once arrived to a small town near Canterlot, and left such a bad impression that they run me out of town" I placed a hand on her shoulders, as she lowered her head to the floor. "then to make things worse Trixie returned two years later to challenge the librarian to a magic duel... I won...but in hindsight.. I had already lost" I took in the information. "why are you telling me this?" "Trixie feels that.... I mean... I feel like I can trust you" she looks up to me and smiles sadly. I give her another granola bar and then finally replace pensive look with a thoughtful one as the bizarre wooden trailer stops. "You're not going to... run are you?" I shook my head. "I'll tell you my story later, but first... I think we're in the Crystal Kingdom" She opened the door as she levitated a granola bar in front of herself. I left the half full box for her. "keep the rest" I said as I grabbed the rest of my things. I looked out as Trixie stood next to me. That was when I laid my eyes on the diamond spear pointed directly at my face. "Spears aren't exactly friendly" I frowned as I tapped the tip of the spear. I felt a jab from behind. "Move, freak" I turned to face the pony who jabbed me. "manners my good stallion" I felt a second jab from the same pony. "I'M A MARE!" The Mare shot me a very angry look. "oh, sorry" I chuckled. I faced forwards once more. "as for you? Lead on, See you In a bit Trixie" I waved goodbye to my friend. While we walked, I began to simply hum a small tune, one of great significance. "Silence creature" the mare spat. "grant me this one freedom" the leader then turned to me and then shrugged his shoulders. "you may do as you would usually when arrested from where you come from" Now... having been never arrested... I decided to just make shit up as I went along. "depends, How long will this take to get to where ever your taking me?" He turned back tot the front and began to walk. "a few minutes" "good" I began to hum once again, using the same tune. but then I began to sing. "Far over the Misty Mountains rise Leave us standing upon the heights What was before, we see once more Our kingdom a distant light Fiery mountain beneath the moon The words unspoken, we'll be there soon For home a song that echoes on And all who find us will know the tune" We continued the journey. the Mare then Pulled the Leader to wards herself and began to argue. "why are we headed toward the castle? we should be dragging this thing to the dungeon" "because the Prince and Princess need to hear this for them selves" I continued to sing as we walked, that is until I felt myself being thrown too the floor. "Guard score, what is the meaning of this?" A new voice entered the fray as it scolded the mare. As she tried to argue her point he simply sighed. "I'll speak to you later," The Leader then helped me up off the floor. "Sergeant, what is this thing?" I heard hooves come closer to wards me. "what... are you?" I gave the pink mare a smile. "just a humble musician, your highness" I extended a hand to the mare. "Mr Bolton, at your service, you must be..." "I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. but I prefer Cadance" "ah.. one with rhythm, I like it, and this one?" I said as I pointed to the white stallion heading towards me. "That is my Husband, Shining Armour" I looked at the stallion, considering Cadance never took my hand, I offered it to him. "Nice to meet you, sir" I gave him a slightly worried smile He simply sized me up, but then returned a smile and gave a hoofshake. "Likewise, Sorry about the guards, they tend to get a little bit overzealous" I gave a small chuckle. "not the word I'd use but hey, they're just doing their jobs" I then watched as a Grey Mail-Mare came flying in. I say flying, but it looked more like she was about to crash. quickly jumping into action, I ran towards the falling mare. I jumped up to catch her as she fell. landing on the hard marble floor, I quickly regretted my decision. "Thats going to be sore in the morning" I grunted as the Mail-mare scrambled to her feet, whimpering and apologizing. and thats when she said a line that I'll never forget. "Please don't eat me!" I began to laugh. more than I ever had done back on earth. Then I collapsed, shortness of breath coupled with a newly cracked rib tends to do that to people. I hate Hospitals I hate Hospitals As I lay there, looking into complete darkness, I couldn't help but wonder just how I ended up in the middle of a blizzard. Was the universe just simply giving me my reward for being its cosmic plaything for 23 years? did the universe finally decide to discard me like a child would throw a toy out of its pram?. Regardless of what caused me to appear here, I'm eternally Grateful. It was an odd feeling of regret that suddenly washed over me. I had no Idea if i would ever return home. but quite frankly, I could care less. this place was nice, a little rough around the edges but then again, not every place is going to be perfect. I never knew hospital beds could be so comfortable. I felt like I could sleep for days, but then I began to wake up. I felt eyes suddenly upon me, sound began to trickle into my ears as my hearing returned. "Princess, He's waking up" It was Trixie, and she sounded worried. my eyes fluttered open for a moment. "Slow Down, your going to do more harm than good, whatever you are" The doctor pony placed a hoof on my chest to try and push me down. I simply shifted my self upwards. my back now resting against the headrest. the Doctor then handed me a cup of water. which I graciously accepted and drank slowly. "Relax doc, I'm not going anywhere, more importantly, what happened to the Mare that crashed, She okay?" my voice was an audible rasp. He looked at me in amazement. "...Miss Doo is fine, she suffered a mild concussion, but nothing major, thanks to you" I let out a sigh of relief. Placing the cup on the side table, I gave the doctor a small smile. I took note that the ward was empty, my smile began to fade. "You didn't move the patients because of my appearance did you?" I asked. he gave a sigh as the princess and her husband walked in. "He acted upon my orders, I didn't want my subjects to see you just yet" Cadence walked to me and smiled. "How are you feeling? You've been out for 3 days" I was shocked, Three days? "I feel.... fine... Healing spell?" the pink alicorn mare simply nodded. "thought as much" She suddenly became confused. "Do you not have magic where your from?" I shook my head, I then looked to Trixie, who looked pretty shocked. "but we do have illusionists and tricks, those are always fun... but sadly I'm not an illusionist" I grinned. I did the old removable thumb trick, with both thumbs. Trixie watched as I performed magic without an ethereal glow. it was then that Shining Armour asked me something and called for a scribe. "could you answer some Questions please?" I nodded as the scribe walked in. "what would you like to know? I'm a little vague and unlearned in my peoples history... but I'll do what I can" after a small stack of paper had been written out, a simplified version of earth's history spanning the most recent events was finished. I didn't dare go through the terrible details. "So then, Trixie must ask...what is your story?" I look to the scribe, who was equally expectant. "My story is... well... quite different to what you'd probably expect after hearing all of that, But I'll try and make a simple life as exciting as possible" they laughed. "so, Let me tell you a story" I quickly began to tell the tale of How I Became Known as Gimli. "It was a dreary rainy day in the cheerful yet gloomy town in which I resided..." I recently had just come out of college after a very hard day of studying lines and different methods of acting, I was an acting student you see. the course was good, plus with my bizarre outlook on life, it helped to keep an open mind when interpreting different Ideas. I had made friends with a few people here and there, but never felt like I fit in anywhere. I walked to a local hang out spot. and that's when everything changed. there were People everywhere, I walked into the library of the building and struck up an awkward conversation about something completely random. another person showed up, then another and another. soon I was surrounded by new people. Which was good. then one of them walked straight up to me and gave me a hug. "You look like that guy from the Lord of the Rings... ya know... the one with the axe" I looked into his eyes, as he grinned away, his eyes were glazed over and his pupils were dilated. "Gimli?" "yeah thats the one, I'm gonna call you gimli from now on" I could tell this guy was stoned... If it wasn't for the fact that his eyes were as they were... it would have been from the strong stench of weed. It was at that point, that even though i didn't know it at the time, I had met one of the funniest people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, the name pretty much stuck after that, and for the next 4 years... that became my name. "but the rest of my life is another story for another time" I said with a sly smile. the four ponies that stood before me, groaned. "so, can I get out of this hospital? I'm starting to feel a little bit more Nosocomephobic by the second" I shivered for a moment. I always hated hospitals. back when i was visiting my dad in one, I always made jokes about them really being Purgatory. Hospitals always had that strong smell of disinfectant to cover up the smell of stale farts, blood, shit, piss and other unwelcome things... They were also heralds of life and death. I began to feel Queasy. "I need some fresh air, now... please" I begged. I opened the window and looked out. seeing just how high up I was. I took a deep breath. "I hate hospitals" the doctor looked ,mildly shocked. "but i hate heights even more" all that glitters...After a brief stay at the hospital, I took a good walk around the city. I found myself watching a funeral procession, hearing the phrase "ashes to ashes, dust to dust" It made me think about what was happening back on earth. Were people looking for me? or was I deemed just another missing person. Fucked if I know, Fucked if I care. Quite frankly this place was more quieter than the village I was born in, dryer too. "So Cadance, this is the library?" "Yes it is, I suppose you want to take a look inside?" I nodded. Considering I'd need to learn about this new world in order to survive. "lets find a book that covers everything then" I gave the princess a smile. It was lucky she knew the invisibility spell, she had told me that it was useful to get away from large crowds. As we walked in, the librarian instantly bowed. "P-Princess Cadance, What can I do for you?" the Librarian stood stock still as she raised her head. "I need you to find me a book, the basic history of Equestria? preferably the newest edition" Cadance giggled lightly. The Librarian raised a confused eyebrow but scarpered off to find it. "So, the newest edition huh? what about the previous edition?" I asked with an air of curiosity. "well, the Crystal Kingdom fell under darkness thousands of years ago, along with the Crystal ponies, because of a curse" She spoke as she dissipated the invisibility spell. The Librarian finally arrived, and upon seeing me she started to whimper. "Monster!" she shreiked. I quickly turned around to look behind me. Cadance noticed this. "Shh, He is no monster, He..... he's..." "I got lost on the road of life" I smiled at the Librarian, before picking up a book and casually flicking through it. "hmm.... at least now I know i can read equestrian" I grinned. as it turned out both the Equestrian and english writing systems were the same. I placed the book I flicked through back on the shelf. the mare fainted shortly after. Cadance was about to call someone, but I stopped her. "Let her sleep, the poor mare looked tired anyways" I smiled slightly as I carried the history book to the table. As I read the book, Cadance was studying my facial expressions. she then noticed the scar near my right eye. "Robert, Whats that near your eye?" "Hair" I bluntly stated. "No your other eye" "More hair" I gave a cheeky smile, as she facehoofed. "no... the scar" "what scar?" She groaned slightly as I started to chuckle. I shut the book shortly after. "that scar" She ran a hoof along it. "oh... some fool threw a few stones hidden in a snowball at me when i was younger" I grinned. She left it at that. trying to figure out if I was serious or joking. "I just can't read you" she mumbled. I turned to face her. "That's because sentient beings aren't like books, we're constantly filling in blank pages with new information and learning more and more about ourselves on a daily basis, anyways, You've asked your Questions... can I ask a few?" she blinked twice during my little speech. "Uh sure" "Why is there a picture on your butt?" She then started to giggle. "that's a Cutie-mark, all ponies get them, they're a symbol of a pony's special talent" I stroked my beard absently, taking in the information. "I see, so yours is basically emotion, more importantly love? Am I right?" she nodded, eyes widened, dumbfounded by my revelation. "How did you know?" "would you believe I'm psychic?" "no" "Your right, neither would I" I chuckled. She looked confused at first but then finally got the joke. "You really don't care I'm a princess do you" "nope, far as I'm concerned we're all equal" She smiled. soon after, we left the library. but she forgot the spell. "er... Cadance.. the spell?" she grinned back at me. then came the teleportation. "okay... Warn me next time" I said as my atoms reformed themselves. "sorry" She smiled sheepishly. "anyway, I need to go collect my stuff" Cadance looked at me for a moment, then her face lit up. "ohhhh yes, that... Trixie brought them to the castle, And I've also sent word back to my aunts" I stopped dead in my tracks. "I see.... okay... was that a good Idea?" she nodded. I slumped to the floor. The princess looked at me for a bizarre moment. "are you alright?" I gave a small nod. "do you need anything?" the only thing I could think of was Tea. "I need a cup of tea, earl grey preferably" I said quietly. an odd sense of despair befell the room. she sent for the tea, considering the look on my face was one of worry. I looked at the Princess, as Shining walked in and spoke to her. soon enough, another smaller Alicorn walked in and the two of them started a bizarre ritual. "Celestia sent me as soon as the letter arrived, Where is it?" the lavender mare asked. A servant appeared with 3 tea pots, and three cups. I took a sniff. the servant placed the tray on a table and left. I stood up and slowly made my way to the tea and poured out a small cupful. I took a swig of the heavenly liquid. I was being British and no-one could stop me. "Is this what you were on about in your letter?" she sat down opposite me and took a tentative sniff of her own tea, chamomile I think. "yes, he is" "He?" The alicorn looked mildly surprised. "yes, this one is a he" I grinned at the lavender mare in front of me. "does this one have a name?" "My name is Gimli, You must be.... Celestia?" the whole room was engulfed in laughter. The short mare patted my leg. "Celestia's my tutor, I'm Twilight Sparkle" I placed the teacup on the table and simply looked at her. "Interestingly enough, I lack a joke for this situation... so I'm just gonna call you starbug" "what? why?" "Because you have a star for a cutie mark, and i have a feeling you'll bug me with questions" "wha... how?" "Because Reasons" "That doesn't make sense" "Where's the fun in making sense?" Twilight looked at me, her mouth opening and closing like a floundering fish desperate for water. "It's Pinkie Pie all over again" ...Ain't gold... Its bathed in a pale moonlightThe newest Alicorn Looked a little bit more than angry, that is until Cadence placed a hoof on her shoulder. "Relax Twilight, I think that's just how he is" In the end, Twilight took several deep breaths to calm herself down. I was still sitting opposite the mare, the anger in her face dissipated. She then levitated a quill and scroll of parchment towards the table, setting them down gently as the lavender aura around them disappeared. "Lets start with your name" I gave Cadence a cheeky grin, but she shook her head. So I then just simply Shrugged. I gave the mare my name, and then she asked me different Questions like the name of my race, and the basic history of earth. "There are two versions of earth's history, however they are more or less the same... Do you want the version which Idiotic humans had believed for centuries until science proved the source material wrong? or do you want the version which is told by the idiotic people?" "I think I'll take the first one" I gave the mare a smile. So I began to tell a condensed version of humanity's bloody history. needless to say All the ponies were shocked. They then saw the slightly sad look on my face. "even my own race disgusts me... go figure" I felt a small itch along my side, I paid the itch no mind as I took a sip of earl grey. Cadance caught a glimpse of what she thought was true emotion from me. but that quickly faded as I smiled once again. "anything else you want to ask?" The Lavender mare took a sip of her tea and looked pensive as she thought about what was said. The Itch got too much. so I scratched, looking a little bit like an ape in the process. The room devolved into laughter shortly after. Absently scratching my beard, I looked towards the station. "so... Friendship express huh?" Twilight, who stood next to me, simply nodded and beckoned me toward the Pink train. "At ease, the Human is with me" She stated before the two guards. they watched as a gave them a small sheepish smile, my things hung off my back like a pack rat. The acoustic guitar was held in a magic grip of a certain Unicorn. "Perhaps Trixie will see you in Canterlot?" Trixie sent me a sad smile. "Of course you will, I'll see you there at some point" I gave the Azure mare one last hug before I boarded. As the Train departed, Twilight began to ask me more... Personal questions. "so, what was life like back on your world... For you I mean" she asked, Quill and parchment at the ready. I blinked twice. "ah, How about no" she looked up at me for a moment. She noticed a small frown settled upon my face. as the fading sunlight hit my face, the lines and small wrinkles were made ever so slightly clearer. She decided it best to put the Quill and parchment away, but before she could, I took them off her and started to doodle. She didn't look to happy until I handed it back. a simple image and phrase simply laid there for all to see. soon enough I was met with big lavender Puppy dog eyes being aimed at me. I tried so hard to resist. She looked up to me and all became clear. "fine I'll tell you a small portion of my life" The mare simply nodded and began to listen. while I prepared the tale in my mind, I reached into my duffel bag, finding exactly what I was looking for. Pulling out a black cowboy hat, I placed it on my head and lowered it so my eyes were covered. "It was a night... much like this..." With a gentle breeze in the air, the stars were out and twinkling like diamonds. The moon in all her splendor shone down on the earth with peaceful ambition. she provided me with ample light. As I made my way back to my village home from a cruel night of labor in a poorly-run countryside escape hotel, I couldn't help but notice all of the sounds in the night. I grew skittish at first, watching the trees and the hedge-rows for any sign of danger. I continued this action as I walked until I looked up. Sure enough, There she was, gleaming her pale light over me, washing me with a strange calmness. admittedly, I didn't think of it before, but the night was more peaceful, heck... I preferred it to the chaos of a hard day's work. but then again, I needed the money to survive. It wasn't all bad, I realized that every night there was a possibility to see the night for what it truly is. Raw Beauty... "When I finally got home, I kinda... started writing a few bits and pieces of music, I even learned a few" I gave her a small smile, not noticing a small tear form on her face. Opening the guitar case, I pulled the Eclipse from its slumber. Twilight eyed the instrument for a moment, taking note of the moon inlays. she then noticed the headstock. There in bold letters was the name... Luna when I'm on the trainI laid my hands on the black beauty of an acoustic guitar that I had in my possession. I missed hearing the sound of its mournful lyric, the way the strings vibrated at a simple touch. I missed how I could make her sing, how she'd make my fingers dance for her. I fell into a deep trance when I finally placed my fingers in the right places... I began to tune her up. Twilight simply watched the display like two lovers blissfully re-united. Before long, what was once the sound of frequencies being found was slowly becoming a small tune. she watched as my gaze then fixed itself out of the window. she noticed the little bits of scenery changed. the icy hills and snowy mountains, still slightly obscured by snowfall. the lavender alicorn remembered her tutor's words. each flake is a work of art. Upon this little thought, she smiled as I continued to play a small tune. I took my hand off the fretboard for a moment and shook off the cobwebs, so to speak. I cleared my throat. "Is there anything else you'd like to know about me?" This brought Twilight out of her stupor. She raised a hoof to her chin and appeared to be in deep thought. She didn't notice that the other patrons of the first class carriage were eavesdropping. It was out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a small filly looking slightly dejected. I raised a hand to stop Twilight from saying anything. "Whats wrong little one?" The little filly looked my way and her sullen expression changed to one of fear, until she noticed Twilight opposite me. she then adopted a more relaxed attitude... but she still looked upset about something. "hey, its okay, you can tell me, or would you prefer the Princess over here?" she pointed to the princess. Twilight simply patted the seat next her. I watched the little filly struggle to get up onto the seat, in the end I picked her up, not caring what the hell other ponies thought. as I placed the little filly down on the seat, I gave her a small smile. she began to ask if Twilight would help her with any school bullies she might confront when moving to a new school. I raised my hat slightly. "Kid... in my long life i've learnt that bullies are every where you go, the trick is to stand tall and defiant" The filly turned to look at me. "how old are you?" the little filly asked. I gave twilight a little grin. "ohh... I'll be 124 in a few months, so I'm still quite young" Twilight rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. "really? wow" the filly bounced off to her mother soon after. I went back to plunking the strings, somehow playing stairway to heaven in its entirety. "Cadence was right about you... being unpredictable" I began to strum Idly for a moment. then I tapped the guitar twice. not even a micro-second the sound of the strumming was replicated and played out of thin air. "Oh....kay... that's new" I shrugged my shoulders and began to play, brightening up the dreary atmosphere of the train. Twilight watched as my fingers effortlessly glided along the steel strings. she looked around, noticing the smiles and then simply laid back into her seat. she closed her eyes for a brief moment, losing herself to the music, and began to dream. but then the music stopped, she woke up. looking out of the window to see the makings of a perfect clear night. "How long was I asleep?" the mare asked. I fumbled for my phone, checking the time. "I'd say a few hours at most... like maybe four" I put the phone back in the duffel bag. she then looked over to me and tilted her head in confusion as I raised a pendant from my chest to my lips. she then heard me whisper the words lux lunae cursus ut, dux meus et stellae . She noticed the long, forlorn gaze leading toward the moon. I placed the pendant back in my shirt and began to play a masterpiece. it was perfect for a little insight. I started to play a more peaceful song, one which resonated within me. Twilight once again lost herself to the music and failed to notice the stray tear that rolled down my cheek as I played. Moonlight sonata always did make me cry.... I've seen this beforeThe moon had slowly made its way to the horizon, waving goodbye to the stars as it finally disappeared. soon after, the train slowly pulled into the station. there was a brief shuffle of hooves as the other passengers slowly left the carriage. I heard a tap on the acoustic, waking me up in the process. "Huh?" Twilight simply smiled at me. "We're here, welcome to Canterlot" she then gave me a big grin. I looked out of the window and saw white walls. I started to pack the acoustic away in its case. picking up the hat and placing it on my head, I looked over to Twilight, who stood at the doorway. "Ready to go?" she looked at me with confidence. I simply picked up the case and nodded. As soon as my foot left the carriage, I took a look at a mass gathering of guards, each one standing at the ready. "I'll meet you at the castle, Fast Skies, make sure Gimli gets there on time won't you?" a white Pegasus guard stepped forth and nodded. Twilight then vanished into thin air. all the other Guards dispersed, leaving me and Fast Skies alone. "so, Lead on" he simply cantered off. "Keep up Gimli!" he shouted. I frowned and simply waited for him to return. "fine... come on then" he sighed. as he took off in a pace I could keep up with. I gave the Pegasus a smile as we kept each others pace. "So, your a Human then? I expected something different" we started to slow down as we neared the gates. I looked at him for a moment as we slowed down. "what were you expecting, a glorified monkey?" he crashed down to earth laughing hysterically. he then pushed himself up off the ground and continued laughing, all the way to the gate. I gave Fast Skies a cheeky grin as he finally opened the gate. Not long after I found myself wandering through the corridors, Like a weaving labyrinth. Paintings Decorated the plain marble walls. I took a fleeting glance at each one, I then gave the guards accompanying me a shit-eating grin. "You look like you could loosen up," I cleared my throat and began to sing. "Come gather good people and hear the strange tale Of a man who was known in each county and vale In a pub down in London called the White Horse's tail Sat the one man in England who didn't drink ale" Within the confines of the throne room, two Alicorns slowly read through notations provided by Twilight on the new arrival. "Sister, Does this human know of us?" The smaller of the two asked. "I'm not sure, given that Twilight wrote about her encounter with the Human... Wait... Is that singing I hear?" The door opened as the Guards and I continued singing. "Whether stouts or old weizens or ales brown and pale, That strange motherbucker who doesn't like beer!" Both Alicorns looked shocked at first, until they saw the genuine smiles on the guards' faces. they then relaxed as I stepped forth. "so as my old tutor used to say, Always make a grand entrance, so In my own way I did," And with that I grinned once again, continuing to walk forward. "I suppose Twilight gave you the scoop on me did she?" "yes she said you were the most-" She was cut off as I grabbed the paper. "Frustrating, unpredictable creature she has ever met, save for Discord of course" Celestia blinked twice. "well... yes, and um... Welcome to Canterlot I suppose" the white Alicorn smiled. "so, you must be Celestia then, Pleasure... but who might you be?" I pointed to the smaller one. she was about to say something. "wait a minute," I pulled out the pendant. "aaaaaaaaaand go" "we are Princess Luna, and... and.... You wear the moon around your neck, Why?" she eyed the pendant closely, her mind racing with wonder. But then she felt a hand run through her mane, "Don't worry your pretty little head over it, okay? I'll tell you later" I gave the dark alicorn a smile. "tell us now!" She demanded, her shout reverberating throughout the castle. "Perhaps when you stop using ye old equestrian, How does that sound?" she sighed, looked to her sister, who looked at me. "very well, we shall do our best" Celestia continued to smile at me, "so, Human... erm.... Mr Bolton" "ah finally, the words I've been waiting to hear" "hear what? that i'm making you an equestrian citizen?" "yep, It's not like I want to go back to...well" "Tartarus, yes... your first home" "and besides, I could do so much more, be so much more... I can actually have a well lived life here i think... If you'll allow it" "I already have, You never read the rest of Twilight's notes" "oh... Thank you" I was speechless... "Just so you know... I also have an offer for you, a job" I looked at the alicorn incredulously. "what kind of job?" "How do you feel about Nobles?" "Do I get to piss them off?" "If I said yes, Would you take the job" "Consider it done!" given work and pay?"So.... What exactly is my job?" I asked. The White Alicorn simply smiled as she beckoned me forth. As I took a step further, she gave me a grin. "Simple, Your going to be our mediator" "A what now?" I was surprised to say the least. "You're going to be our main decision breaker for political conferences and peace talks" My face fell. I hated politics, still do in fact. Back on earth I lived by the rules whoever wins, we lose in terms of politics. The fact that they had to have all these pointless little arguments and ignore the elephants in the room such as why there was even a thought on the bedroom tax... its rather foolish if you ask me... but I digress. I was still looking at her like she was a dancing monkey. "uh... and how does that enable me to piss off nobles?" "Simple, If you don't like their proposals... deny them" She grinned slyly. I caught on. "so basically... screw them over in favor of the little ponies" "Precisely" Luna smiled. "okey doke," I grinned once again. "Just... I dont know, summon me or something, I'm off to find out more about this city" "Wait, Before you go, here, your badge of office and stipend" I blinked twice as a badge which looked identical to the hand of the king badge from Game of thrones fixed itself to my coat. a bag of gold simply landed in front of me. "Huh? okay, well... uh.. Thanks" I picked up the money and simply smiled. after walking out, Twilight came cantering towards me. "How did it go?" She asked. "wow is all I'm going to say, also... I gots me a job already which is quite strange considering I didn't have one back on earth" She giggled at this before placing a hoof to her chin. "hmm, well In any case, Need a tourguide?" I looked down to the Lavender mare as she smiled sweetly up to me. "sure, whats the worst that could happen" I grinned stupidly. I had to say it didn't I. Rain hammered down upon us as we walked through the city, But I didn't mind that much. My hair began to cling to my face, Twilight was clever enough to bring an umbrella. She was a damn princess and she was walking around like she was still an equal to the non-alicorns. "Gotta say Twilight, were you expecting Rain?" "Not really, but you know what the weather team is like?... Right?" I shook my head, "nope... unless you count the ones who make stupid predictions" She looked at me in confusion. my Hair soon found its way in front of my eyes. considering for the past week I hadn't been able to really sort my hair out, I brushed it back. I know I'm not the most attractive man around but still, When I moved my hair out of my face, Twilight had said something, I turned to look at her for a moment. "sorry could you repeat that?" "I was saying, why don't we go get a..." She looked into my eyes for a brief moment before shivering. "coffee? ah, good Idea... Know any places?" I asked, she simply cantered off. Naturally I gave chase. after two minutes of solid running in the rain, I began to look a little bit more haggard. "sorry for running like that," She smiled sheepishly. "eheh.. well, Here we are... Donut Joes" I gave the mare a flat look. "really? there's a pony pun in here somewhere..." The times they are a-changingI sat down near a window and simply watched the world go by. sure enough, I could smell the coffee as it slowly neared the table. "Got any sugar?" I asked as Twilight sat down opposite. she pointed to a small pot in the middle of the table. "so, tell me something, Gimli, how did you get in the icy plains?" she asked with a little bit of worry. "I have no clue, one minute I'm walking down the stairs in my old apartment block, next thing I know, I'm bouncing down the stairs, flying through the door, and finally being hit with the cold" she blinked twice. "Either, I'm dead or I fell through a rip in the space-time continuum, but either way... better than being back on earth" she raised a hoof to her chin and appeared to be in deep thought. "I wouldn't think too much on it, Twilight, you might blow a fuse" she then sighed. "Your probably right" she took a sip of her coffee, finally settling her gaze to the outside world. It was apparent that the rain had slowly started to let up. I carried on drinking my coffee as I simply followed a small drop of rain as it ran down the window. "So why did you start running anyways? was it to avoid the rain?" She blushed slightly. "n-no, nothing like that... I... uh... Had to use the little filly's room" I decided not to push the subject further. "Fair enough" an awkward silence fell afterwards. I turned to look at the lavender mare. "so...what shall we do now? are there any music shops in canterlot?" she shook her head. "I don't think so" She sighed. I finished my coffee shortly after she did. "Where to next then Princess?" I gave a grin. the mare gave a slight giggle, "well, we could go to the library?" I shot her a flat look. "okay maybe not, lets go to the castle then, I show you the rest of the city along the way, does that sound good?" "Sister, art thou sure it wise to let Twilight show the Human around the city? surely it could get violent?" Luna asked in a panicked voice. However, Celestia's giggling soon assuaged the Lunar Princess's fears. "Lulu, you need to relax, I felt no ill intent coming from him, and besides, He's with Twilight, I'm sure that if he did get violent, she would stop him" not long after that brief conversation, a guard flew in, breathing heavily. "your majesties, The human... He's... missing" the two alicorns shared a glance before Luna finally spoke. "I told you so" Taking a tour around the city seemed like a good Idea at the time, Until we got separated by fans of Twilight. It was lucky I was outside a very recognizable establishment. a well designed and very Irish looking pub. A smile crept onto my face, I checked the amount of bits I had in my pockets, chances are it wasn't a lot, in the end I decided to throw caution to the wind. I walked in, looking around, I noticed the barkeep looking slightly nervous. "wh...what'll it be sir?" I was about to say the usual but caught myself. "depends... what have you got?" we'll call it an Irish pub"Alright, wait a minute... er... whatever you are, I'll need to see some ID" the barkeep shot me a glare. I simply snapped my fingers in frustration. "I don't have any, the only time I did was back home" I looked into a corner and saw a guitar. "You don't mind if I look at that quickly" "sure, you can look but don't touch, the owner will get annoyed, she's currently takin a leek right now" I sighed. "so anyways, what exactly are you?... no wait.. Your that.. Human from the Crystal Empire arent you" I nodded, giving him a slight grin. "here's some water, and a there's the mare" The mare came trotting up and simply smiled. "Like what you see?" Needless to say, I started to flounder. "I'm Joking, the name Is Silver Strings," she giggled, shaking her silver mane in the process. "you?" "Which name do you want?" I grinned. she looked at me strangely. "are most of them titles? or are they names to throw ponies of your trail?" "nope, Just names... oh... and maybe one title... Mad Dog" "well, what ever... I noticed you were eying up my Guitar, any particular reason?" I gave a slight chuckle. "Not really no, got me own one, I'll have to bring It down at some point" as we continued talking, the little Pub became busier and busier. Ponies of all creeds and types came in and started drinking and laughing. then I heard the sound... the joyous sounds of a folk punk band taking up arms against the cacophony of shouts. I smiled, simply sitting and enjoying the music. For a short while It was alright, until drunken leers and slurs were made against Silver. said drunken slurs were coming from a stallion sitting right next to me. the barkeep then leaned over to him. "Excuse me sir, but if you continue I'll have to ask you to leave" the stallion shrugged it off, then proceeded to follow a barmaid around like a horn dog for ten minutes. soon enough, He had Isolated her into a corner. I looked at the barkeep as he was about to leave his post. "wait here... and have soon Ice and some whiskey waiting for me, don't care If I need ID or not right now" He watched as I made my way towards the stallion. "Excuse me, Miss... You might want to move back a little bit" she moved to the side as I threw the stallion onto his back. "as for you," I dragged him towards the door. He started to kick his legs out in a feeble attempt to buck me in the arm. I then simply slung him out the door. "stay out of trouble!" I turned around and gave the crowd a small smile. Until of course, the Idiot tried to charge back in again. "Rider Kick" imitating Chuck norris, I pulled a roundhouse kick, catching him on the jaw, needless to say, the idiot was out cold. I began to limp towards the bar. grabbing the Ice, I placed it into my sock. "so that's why you needed the Ice" The barkeep mused. "that's how you find out your limits, he'll be out for a while... Just... Move him out of the way... Maybe call the guard, tell em about an attempted rape... because that's what it looked like to me" I grabbed the whiskey and took a sip. He looked at me for a moment, expecting me to start coughing because of the strong flavor. "now that's a flavor I can get used to, what's the brand?" I gave the barkeep a smile. "Apple-Jack Daniels" He said, shocked that I had drunk it with out a care in the world. Several Guards and a distraught Twilight walked in, frantically scanning the bar. I gave a simple wave and took another sip of whiskey. "What took you so long?" Whiskey, the enablerTwilight stood there, mouth agape. "Well Don't just stand there, pull up a stool" I watched as she imitated a floundering fish before she finally trotted over. "What'll It be... P-princess Sparkle what an honor" the barkeep started to gush. I simply looked over to him and then grinned. Twilight looked at me for a moment, as if to ask If i was planning something. "hey, could I get these spirits please? I'll give you the recipe afterwards" I smiled, the barkeep simply shrugged. He set the cocktail ingredients and equipment out onto the bar top. "all right, Mad Dog, but make me one too, if it's good theres a job in it for ya" I look at him, bewildered but then I relaxed for a moment. I realized what it would mean having the first human to work at an equestrian bar. "Alright, but I may decline the offer for a while" I quickly got to work. Twilight watched as I slowly and lovingly recreated a cocktail, all the while singing a little ditty from my time in ireland. as I finished the three drinks I sung the last line. "I'm in the wrong prison cell and the wrong company" the barkeep laughed at the song before taking a sip. "wow" "I might have taken a few little liberties with the flavor, but it should be about right" Twilight looked at me for a moment. then took a tentative sip herself. "how?" "not rightly sure, I think it was round my 21st birthday, everyone forgot... so I decided to just go out," A sullen expression graced my face, the wrinkles became slightly clearer. "I took a short walk around the city, ending up at a random bar, I didn't know it at the time, but it was a gay bar," they laughed a little as they listened. "I was sat at the bar near a wall, just watching them all, having their fun with not a care in the world," I sighed before continuing. "as I watched, I couldn't help noticing the bartender was tapping the bar top in front of me..." "excuse me? Is everything alright?" the bartender asked, Noticing Robert's sullen expression. "It'll get better," The young man grunted before taking a swing of beer, letting the cool liquid run down his throat for the umpteenth time. "in time... I hope" I huffed. The barman simply looked at the red-headed man for a moment. "Usually this is the part where the barman hands out a bit of advice... but this isn't like the movies is it, where people suddenly appear to celebrate something as trivial as a birthday" the red-head quietly muttered. The sound of glass sliding across wood was heard for a brief moment followed by a clink of a lighter and finally a fizz. the red-head currently had his head resting on his arms. "Hey, chin up, your alive aren't you? the night is young, man... you've just got to... Live in the moment" Robert picked his head up and looked at the drink sitting in front of him. He took a tentative sniff, then a sip. the flavors danced along his tongue and rekindled the fire in his aching heart. "what the hell?! this...this is..." Thats when the bartender said it, the one phrase to describe it... "Timey-Wimey, Wibbly wobbly," The barman chuckled. "Now get out there and live" The Red-head finished the drink, invigorated by the new ideal. but then quickly ran back in. "nearly forgot to pay for it," he smiled. Pulling his wallet out. "How much for it?" the bartender declined the money. "well... I don't really work here," the man said as he thrusted a note inside Robert's hand. "In fact... I should be leaving right now.... Before I get caught again" with those final words, He ran off. "Leaving me slightly confused but ready to face the world once again" as I finished my story, all three glasses were empty... Twilight simply looked at me for a moment... "when is your birthday?" I shrugged. "4 days from now" 80% proofWent out drinking late last night. I had a blast But now the morning light has come and kicked my ass. so, there we were, three compatriots, simply drinking the night away and for the first time. I felt more at home than ever. It also brought to mind that I couldn't really remember the last time I actually did this. Drinking with friends I mean. That word again... a word that for a while, seemed so foreign. Back in the day, I was used by so called friends. I lacked a backbone. hell, I let them walk all over me, nearly reaching my breaking point. I cut myself off from everyone and isolated myself. but I still made an effort to wind up in pubs and bars simply making people laugh and cheering people up. Funny thing is, I genuinely cared about people... but hated the human race. I looked at the little princess for a moment as she drank and talked with the bartender, finding out little things about what goes on. She was having fun and learning something new. but it became apparent that she was asking me something. "Should we get going?...back to the castle?" I simply nodded. the bartender simply gave me a smile. "Thanks for the recipe, Mad Dog, I hope to see you again soon" Walking out of the bar, I simply strolled along with twilight beaming away beside me. "so all in all, i think I learned a lot more about life here on the whole from that bartender than I did from a book" I chuckled. Twilight shot me a flat look. "I still think you should read a little bit into the history of equestria," the lavender mare sighed. "Besides, it's a nice place when its not filled to the brim with drunk ponies" I looked at her for a moment, she was probably expecting me to say something. but instead, I simply scratched my chin. "drunk ponies....sounds like fun" I grinned as I walked up behind her. "so, what next? am I to be dragged around the castle once again or what?" she looked down for a moment. "what is it?" "we're sending you to ponyville at the end of the week" she stated glumly. "Isn't that a good thing though?" I asked. "kinda, I'll be back and fourth between here and there but" "say no more, you'll have to gather your friends when we get there, yeah? that way I can say hello and you can play catch up" She looked at me for a moment. I noticed she looked a little more tired than I thought. "Come on, You look tired... after dealing with those fanatics it's surprising your still standing" I let out a small chuckle before moving some hair out of my face. "shall we head back then?" the alicorn simply nodded for a brief moment. The walk back to the castle was mostly un-eventful, apart from a few odd looks from the locals. Naturally, I gave them a small smile before letting out a small chuckle. "this reminds me if something..but I can't remember what" Twilight looked up at me for a moment, still trying to avoid my eyes. "really? " she giggled out. we finally made it to the large doors as we heard the loud shout of one Princess Luna. "WE TIRE OF THIS BICKERING BETWEEN THEE" I burst through the door, noticing the two stallions crouching in fear before the Night Princess. I simply blinked twice before speaking up. "Luna, shouting won't solve everything... and whats their problem?" "these two Stallions were involved in an altercation outside a tavern, a fight broke out between them and neither will accept their punishment" Luna grumbled. "well, you deserve a drink" mixing wordsLuna simply looked at me for a moment. Celestia had trotted in with a small smile as I turned to the two stallions. "You two had best leave, Night Court is adjourned for now" they both looked at me for a moment before turning tail and running off into the night. "Excuse me, Robert, but why did you let them go?" Twilight asked me from the side. I raised my hand to my chin, idly scratching my beard. "I havent a clue" I grinned. there was a slight groan emenating from the entire room. I simply shrugged, "now then, how about that drink?" Luna nodded, as she set off. the four of us idly chatted away, and before long, we were in a small, cozy room. "Well then, mighty alchemist? make us thy potions of intoxication" Luna spoke, I simply let out a small chuckle. "fair enough milady" I grinned at the princess, reaching for various bottles before simply chuckling. "two choices, Garo.... Or red requiem?" all three looked confused for a moment. Luna spoke once more "Surprise us" I grinned, before long the drinks were ready, I placed each one infront of them. "drink up me hearties, yo ho" I chuckled before Finding my way to a balcony. Reaching into one of my pockets, I pulled out my phone. still a full battery...makes a change I thought to myself, as I placed the earphones in. soon enough, I was watching the stars, each one a small masterpiece. the way each one flickered like fairylights on a christmas tree. Soon enough, I began to sing Youtube Video , quietly at first. I carried on quietly serenading the stars, Oblivious to what was going on. I felt a hoof on my back. I didn't notice the glow in my eyes as the music carried forth from seemingly nowhere. I turned to see Luna smiling at me. I blinked for a moment during an instrumental break. "What?" Eye's still aglow. She raised a hoof to cover her giggle, Which actually sounds quite cute. great...I've been here for almost three weeks and already I'm falling... Oh well. I continue to sing my merry tune, taking a random swig of alcohol every so often. for unknown reasons I felt compelled to take the Lunar princesses Hooves in my hands and dance with her, which promptly caused a blush to spread across her face. "Thou art quite intoxicated aren't thee?" I shake my head. Celestia was in fits of laughter, having noticed how awkward Luna and I looked. Twilight looked incredibly confused. in which I find myself freezing my balls offRain. it thunders down on the rooftops of the city, it doesn't change much other than providing a dampener on the usual hustle and bustle of a never-sleeping cesspit of delusions. it was a boring day, one where I would be alone. As I walked the streets of the city, I took notice of all the people running from place to place. on some occasions I would just laugh at them and say "It's only water" or "buy an umbrella" and generally be a patronizing dip-shit. but today wasn't one of those days. sadly, much like that one band... my biometric fuck-buddy, or something like that, there was a split. and much like the fandom of said band, I was torn in two. I couldn't bare the thought of someone walking out of my life again. and to add to the misery, I lost my job. considering it was crappy, mind-numbing office work... I couldn't really care less. but it still happened. I plugged the headphones in and pressed play on my mp3. Hearing the only thing that could keep me sane for a while. as I walked throughout the city and headed towards home, I took notice of all the depressed faces. as though joy had simply died. I sighed as I looked across, left and right. no vehicles were to be seen, so, Throwing caution to the wind, I crossed. but as soon as I stepped foot on the road, a sports car zoomed past. If I had been an inch further in front... Yeah, best not to think about that. As I walked across to my destination, I took a deep sigh once more. it was wet, rainy days like these that i was thankful i had a roof over my head. Reaching the door to my apartment, I stopped, reaching forwards to grab the paper that was sellotaped to the door. the bold lettering boiled my blood. I unlocked the door and simply slumped down on the sofa, carefully reading and re-reading the eviction notice. It was at that point, my mp3 died. I placed the thing on charge and began to pack my small amount of belongings into my bag. Oh the joys of living the minimalist lifestyle. I slipped my fully charged phone into my pocket, and looked out the window. checking my wallet, I had just enough to get out of the city. there was a knock on the door. "hello, Mr Bolton?" the landlord entered what was once my home. "in case you haven't noticed," he said with a shit eating grin "your time is up so either pay up or...." I pulled the jacket off the coat rack, and put it on, Picking up the gig-bag, the bag full of personal items and other things like chargers and a bag full of food and drink. "get out.... oh" I finally pulled the Mp3 and charger from the wall. "see you in hell, Bill" with those final words, I took a step out of the apartment and headed off. However, that's when things began to change. the lift was out. so I took the stairs. each step was carefully placed due to the weight of everything. but then again... I was clumsy. I lost my footing and bounced down the steps whilst trying to shout "look out" finally landing on the ground floor, I walked out of the door. then I was struck with a blast of chilling, freezing cold air. All I could remember was the cold. its bitter sting on my extremities. my frost-bitten hands were shoved into my coat pockets in a feeble attempt to find warmth. My only option was to keep moving. as the wind grew stronger, I felt a small barrier of ice forming on my legs. I pushed on, seeking the small light in the bleak blinding whiteness of the tundra. when I reached my destination, all went black. I was no longer cold. I felt fur against my cold hands, the gentle hum and the occasional, grunt of displeasure. then the worried voice emanating from a young woman. "Trixie hopes that you wake up soon... whatever you are" perhaps there are two of them? I had a name, but no face. I then heard the gentle sounds of hooves hitting wood. then felt the thud of my head hitting the wood. Desperately trying to wake up from almost being a Popsicle, I feverishly shook my head. finally getting my bearings back. "Hello?" I rasped out. "is there anyone there?" upon this phrase, the hooves got closer, then an azure coat and small smile came into my peripheral vision. "H-hello there" she looked just as frightened as I was. I blinked for a moment before returning the smile. "um, Hi" was all i could muster. extending an open hand, she replace fear with bewilderment. I recoiled my hand considering the situation. "what are you?" she asked me. I looked at my hands for a moment, considering they were moderately warm finally. "Human, hang on, your a unicorn..." I finally noticed. she looked me up and down. "they don't have unicorns in your world?" "nope... gather they don't have Humans on yours?" "no, my name is Trixie" I looked her up and down, then promptly pinched my self. "why did you just do that?" "fell down some stairs and walked out of a building... I kinda figured i might still be out cold from the fall" she pointed to my bags. "if you were still out cold, those wouldn't be with you" The azure Mare was right. I gave her a small smile in return. "so what are you doing way out here?" "Trixie was heading towards the Crystal Kingdom, for a show Trixie.,.. I mean I was going to put on for the fillies and colts" I raised an eyebrow. "before we travel on together, what is your name, assuming you have one" once again, I extended my hand, this time into a fist. "the name is Robert Bolton, but you can call me Gimli, Most of my friends do"
getting to know youThere was a sudden lurch as Trixie's horn light up with a strange aura. then the room began to move. "what the hell? Trixie... What's going on?" She looked at me for a moment before sitting down and smiling. "I just cast my autopilot spell, what of it?" I blinked in confusion before the answer became apparent. I stood up to look out of a window, clearly seeing the bitter cold winds blowing the ice and snow in all directions. at least we were safe inside this... wooden trailer. "Wait a minute... shouldn't we still be freezing to death? unless...Heating spell?" She nodded. "Trixie thinks you catch on quickly, Gimli" I gave a bashful smile. "New world, New rules... best way to learn" I decided not to question her little tirade into third person. I gave the azure mare a look over, noticing little bits and pieces, she looked slightly malnourished. "You look hungry, give me a second" I walked over to my bag of food, thanking the fates for careful planning and heat. Inside the bag were granola bars, assorted bags of crisps (potato chips to you Americans) a few bottles of power-ade (godly blue liquid) and a few bits of fruit. That's when I noticed the glass bottle sitting there, its brown liquid filling me with unbridled joy. Placing the bottle back in the bag, I handed a granola bar to Trixie. "there ya go, hopefully this should fill the empty stomach for a while" She looked at me for a moment before leaping at me, tackling me into a hug. "Food must be scarce here?" she shakes her head as she buries her face in my chest. "No-pony else has done anything like this for me" I felt hot tears seep through my black shirt. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. "so, all the other ponies treated you like shit?" "Trixie... I deserved it, every moment of it" As the journey went on, She took small bites of the granola bar, telling me of how she used to be known as the Great and powerful Trixie. "To be honest, Trixie was a cheat and a liar, I once arrived to a small town near Canterlot, and left such a bad impression that they run me out of town" I placed a hand on her shoulders, as she lowered her head to the floor. "then to make things worse Trixie returned two years later to challenge the librarian to a magic duel... I won...but in hindsight.. I had already lost" I took in the information. "why are you telling me this?" "Trixie feels that.... I mean... I feel like I can trust you" she looks up to me and smiles sadly. I give her another granola bar and then finally replace pensive look with a thoughtful one as the bizarre wooden trailer stops. "You're not going to... run are you?" I shook my head. "I'll tell you my story later, but first... I think we're in the Crystal Kingdom" She opened the door as she levitated a granola bar in front of herself. I left the half full box for her. "keep the rest" I said as I grabbed the rest of my things. I looked out as Trixie stood next to me. That was when I laid my eyes on the diamond spear pointed directly at my face. "Spears aren't exactly friendly" I frowned as I tapped the tip of the spear. I felt a jab from behind. "Move, freak" I turned to face the pony who jabbed me. "manners my good stallion" I felt a second jab from the same pony. "I'M A MARE!" The Mare shot me a very angry look. "oh, sorry" I chuckled. I faced forwards once more. "as for you? Lead on, See you In a bit Trixie" I waved goodbye to my friend. While we walked, I began to simply hum a small tune, one of great significance. "Silence creature" the mare spat. "grant me this one freedom" the leader then turned to me and then shrugged his shoulders. "you may do as you would usually when arrested from where you come from" Now... having been never arrested... I decided to just make shit up as I went along. "depends, How long will this take to get to where ever your taking me?" He turned back tot the front and began to walk. "a few minutes" "good" I began to hum once again, using the same tune. but then I began to sing. "Far over the Misty Mountains rise Leave us standing upon the heights What was before, we see once more Our kingdom a distant light Fiery mountain beneath the moon The words unspoken, we'll be there soon For home a song that echoes on And all who find us will know the tune" We continued the journey. the Mare then Pulled the Leader to wards herself and began to argue. "why are we headed toward the castle? we should be dragging this thing to the dungeon" "because the Prince and Princess need to hear this for them selves" I continued to sing as we walked, that is until I felt myself being thrown too the floor. "Guard score, what is the meaning of this?" A new voice entered the fray as it scolded the mare. As she tried to argue her point he simply sighed. "I'll speak to you later," The Leader then helped me up off the floor. "Sergeant, what is this thing?" I heard hooves come closer to wards me. "what... are you?" I gave the pink mare a smile. "just a humble musician, your highness" I extended a hand to the mare. "Mr Bolton, at your service, you must be..." "I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. but I prefer Cadance" "ah.. one with rhythm, I like it, and this one?" I said as I pointed to the white stallion heading towards me. "That is my Husband, Shining Armour" I looked at the stallion, considering Cadance never took my hand, I offered it to him. "Nice to meet you, sir" I gave him a slightly worried smile He simply sized me up, but then returned a smile and gave a hoofshake. "Likewise, Sorry about the guards, they tend to get a little bit overzealous" I gave a small chuckle. "not the word I'd use but hey, they're just doing their jobs" I then watched as a Grey Mail-Mare came flying in. I say flying, but it looked more like she was about to crash. quickly jumping into action, I ran towards the falling mare. I jumped up to catch her as she fell. landing on the hard marble floor, I quickly regretted my decision. "Thats going to be sore in the morning" I grunted as the Mail-mare scrambled to her feet, whimpering and apologizing. and thats when she said a line that I'll never forget. "Please don't eat me!" I began to laugh. more than I ever had done back on earth. Then I collapsed, shortness of breath coupled with a newly cracked rib tends to do that to people.
I hate Hospitals I hate Hospitals As I lay there, looking into complete darkness, I couldn't help but wonder just how I ended up in the middle of a blizzard. Was the universe just simply giving me my reward for being its cosmic plaything for 23 years? did the universe finally decide to discard me like a child would throw a toy out of its pram?. Regardless of what caused me to appear here, I'm eternally Grateful. It was an odd feeling of regret that suddenly washed over me. I had no Idea if i would ever return home. but quite frankly, I could care less. this place was nice, a little rough around the edges but then again, not every place is going to be perfect. I never knew hospital beds could be so comfortable. I felt like I could sleep for days, but then I began to wake up. I felt eyes suddenly upon me, sound began to trickle into my ears as my hearing returned. "Princess, He's waking up" It was Trixie, and she sounded worried. my eyes fluttered open for a moment. "Slow Down, your going to do more harm than good, whatever you are" The doctor pony placed a hoof on my chest to try and push me down. I simply shifted my self upwards. my back now resting against the headrest. the Doctor then handed me a cup of water. which I graciously accepted and drank slowly. "Relax doc, I'm not going anywhere, more importantly, what happened to the Mare that crashed, She okay?" my voice was an audible rasp. He looked at me in amazement. "...Miss Doo is fine, she suffered a mild concussion, but nothing major, thanks to you" I let out a sigh of relief. Placing the cup on the side table, I gave the doctor a small smile. I took note that the ward was empty, my smile began to fade. "You didn't move the patients because of my appearance did you?" I asked. he gave a sigh as the princess and her husband walked in. "He acted upon my orders, I didn't want my subjects to see you just yet" Cadence walked to me and smiled. "How are you feeling? You've been out for 3 days" I was shocked, Three days? "I feel.... fine... Healing spell?" the pink alicorn mare simply nodded. "thought as much" She suddenly became confused. "Do you not have magic where your from?" I shook my head, I then looked to Trixie, who looked pretty shocked. "but we do have illusionists and tricks, those are always fun... but sadly I'm not an illusionist" I grinned. I did the old removable thumb trick, with both thumbs. Trixie watched as I performed magic without an ethereal glow. it was then that Shining Armour asked me something and called for a scribe. "could you answer some Questions please?" I nodded as the scribe walked in. "what would you like to know? I'm a little vague and unlearned in my peoples history... but I'll do what I can" after a small stack of paper had been written out, a simplified version of earth's history spanning the most recent events was finished. I didn't dare go through the terrible details. "So then, Trixie must ask...what is your story?" I look to the scribe, who was equally expectant. "My story is... well... quite different to what you'd probably expect after hearing all of that, But I'll try and make a simple life as exciting as possible" they laughed. "so, Let me tell you a story" I quickly began to tell the tale of How I Became Known as Gimli. "It was a dreary rainy day in the cheerful yet gloomy town in which I resided..." I recently had just come out of college after a very hard day of studying lines and different methods of acting, I was an acting student you see. the course was good, plus with my bizarre outlook on life, it helped to keep an open mind when interpreting different Ideas. I had made friends with a few people here and there, but never felt like I fit in anywhere. I walked to a local hang out spot. and that's when everything changed. there were People everywhere, I walked into the library of the building and struck up an awkward conversation about something completely random. another person showed up, then another and another. soon I was surrounded by new people. Which was good. then one of them walked straight up to me and gave me a hug. "You look like that guy from the Lord of the Rings... ya know... the one with the axe" I looked into his eyes, as he grinned away, his eyes were glazed over and his pupils were dilated. "Gimli?" "yeah thats the one, I'm gonna call you gimli from now on" I could tell this guy was stoned... If it wasn't for the fact that his eyes were as they were... it would have been from the strong stench of weed. It was at that point, that even though i didn't know it at the time, I had met one of the funniest people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, the name pretty much stuck after that, and for the next 4 years... that became my name. "but the rest of my life is another story for another time" I said with a sly smile. the four ponies that stood before me, groaned. "so, can I get out of this hospital? I'm starting to feel a little bit more Nosocomephobic by the second" I shivered for a moment. I always hated hospitals. back when i was visiting my dad in one, I always made jokes about them really being Purgatory. Hospitals always had that strong smell of disinfectant to cover up the smell of stale farts, blood, shit, piss and other unwelcome things... They were also heralds of life and death. I began to feel Queasy. "I need some fresh air, now... please" I begged. I opened the window and looked out. seeing just how high up I was. I took a deep breath. "I hate hospitals" the doctor looked ,mildly shocked. "but i hate heights even more"
all that glitters...After a brief stay at the hospital, I took a good walk around the city. I found myself watching a funeral procession, hearing the phrase "ashes to ashes, dust to dust" It made me think about what was happening back on earth. Were people looking for me? or was I deemed just another missing person. Fucked if I know, Fucked if I care. Quite frankly this place was more quieter than the village I was born in, dryer too. "So Cadance, this is the library?" "Yes it is, I suppose you want to take a look inside?" I nodded. Considering I'd need to learn about this new world in order to survive. "lets find a book that covers everything then" I gave the princess a smile. It was lucky she knew the invisibility spell, she had told me that it was useful to get away from large crowds. As we walked in, the librarian instantly bowed. "P-Princess Cadance, What can I do for you?" the Librarian stood stock still as she raised her head. "I need you to find me a book, the basic history of Equestria? preferably the newest edition" Cadance giggled lightly. The Librarian raised a confused eyebrow but scarpered off to find it. "So, the newest edition huh? what about the previous edition?" I asked with an air of curiosity. "well, the Crystal Kingdom fell under darkness thousands of years ago, along with the Crystal ponies, because of a curse" She spoke as she dissipated the invisibility spell. The Librarian finally arrived, and upon seeing me she started to whimper. "Monster!" she shreiked. I quickly turned around to look behind me. Cadance noticed this. "Shh, He is no monster, He..... he's..." "I got lost on the road of life" I smiled at the Librarian, before picking up a book and casually flicking through it. "hmm.... at least now I know i can read equestrian" I grinned. as it turned out both the Equestrian and english writing systems were the same. I placed the book I flicked through back on the shelf. the mare fainted shortly after. Cadance was about to call someone, but I stopped her. "Let her sleep, the poor mare looked tired anyways" I smiled slightly as I carried the history book to the table. As I read the book, Cadance was studying my facial expressions. she then noticed the scar near my right eye. "Robert, Whats that near your eye?" "Hair" I bluntly stated. "No your other eye" "More hair" I gave a cheeky smile, as she facehoofed. "no... the scar" "what scar?" She groaned slightly as I started to chuckle. I shut the book shortly after. "that scar" She ran a hoof along it. "oh... some fool threw a few stones hidden in a snowball at me when i was younger" I grinned. She left it at that. trying to figure out if I was serious or joking. "I just can't read you" she mumbled. I turned to face her. "That's because sentient beings aren't like books, we're constantly filling in blank pages with new information and learning more and more about ourselves on a daily basis, anyways, You've asked your Questions... can I ask a few?" she blinked twice during my little speech. "Uh sure" "Why is there a picture on your butt?" She then started to giggle. "that's a Cutie-mark, all ponies get them, they're a symbol of a pony's special talent" I stroked my beard absently, taking in the information. "I see, so yours is basically emotion, more importantly love? Am I right?" she nodded, eyes widened, dumbfounded by my revelation. "How did you know?" "would you believe I'm psychic?" "no" "Your right, neither would I" I chuckled. She looked confused at first but then finally got the joke. "You really don't care I'm a princess do you" "nope, far as I'm concerned we're all equal" She smiled. soon after, we left the library. but she forgot the spell. "er... Cadance.. the spell?" she grinned back at me. then came the teleportation. "okay... Warn me next time" I said as my atoms reformed themselves. "sorry" She smiled sheepishly. "anyway, I need to go collect my stuff" Cadance looked at me for a moment, then her face lit up. "ohhhh yes, that... Trixie brought them to the castle, And I've also sent word back to my aunts" I stopped dead in my tracks. "I see.... okay... was that a good Idea?" she nodded. I slumped to the floor. The princess looked at me for a bizarre moment. "are you alright?" I gave a small nod. "do you need anything?" the only thing I could think of was Tea. "I need a cup of tea, earl grey preferably" I said quietly. an odd sense of despair befell the room. she sent for the tea, considering the look on my face was one of worry. I looked at the Princess, as Shining walked in and spoke to her. soon enough, another smaller Alicorn walked in and the two of them started a bizarre ritual. "Celestia sent me as soon as the letter arrived, Where is it?" the lavender mare asked. A servant appeared with 3 tea pots, and three cups. I took a sniff. the servant placed the tray on a table and left. I stood up and slowly made my way to the tea and poured out a small cupful. I took a swig of the heavenly liquid. I was being British and no-one could stop me. "Is this what you were on about in your letter?" she sat down opposite me and took a tentative sniff of her own tea, chamomile I think. "yes, he is" "He?" The alicorn looked mildly surprised. "yes, this one is a he" I grinned at the lavender mare in front of me. "does this one have a name?" "My name is Gimli, You must be.... Celestia?" the whole room was engulfed in laughter. The short mare patted my leg. "Celestia's my tutor, I'm Twilight Sparkle" I placed the teacup on the table and simply looked at her. "Interestingly enough, I lack a joke for this situation... so I'm just gonna call you starbug" "what? why?" "Because you have a star for a cutie mark, and i have a feeling you'll bug me with questions" "wha... how?" "Because Reasons" "That doesn't make sense" "Where's the fun in making sense?" Twilight looked at me, her mouth opening and closing like a floundering fish desperate for water. "It's Pinkie Pie all over again"
...Ain't gold... Its bathed in a pale moonlightThe newest Alicorn Looked a little bit more than angry, that is until Cadence placed a hoof on her shoulder. "Relax Twilight, I think that's just how he is" In the end, Twilight took several deep breaths to calm herself down. I was still sitting opposite the mare, the anger in her face dissipated. She then levitated a quill and scroll of parchment towards the table, setting them down gently as the lavender aura around them disappeared. "Lets start with your name" I gave Cadence a cheeky grin, but she shook her head. So I then just simply Shrugged. I gave the mare my name, and then she asked me different Questions like the name of my race, and the basic history of earth. "There are two versions of earth's history, however they are more or less the same... Do you want the version which Idiotic humans had believed for centuries until science proved the source material wrong? or do you want the version which is told by the idiotic people?" "I think I'll take the first one" I gave the mare a smile. So I began to tell a condensed version of humanity's bloody history. needless to say All the ponies were shocked. They then saw the slightly sad look on my face. "even my own race disgusts me... go figure" I felt a small itch along my side, I paid the itch no mind as I took a sip of earl grey. Cadance caught a glimpse of what she thought was true emotion from me. but that quickly faded as I smiled once again. "anything else you want to ask?" The Lavender mare took a sip of her tea and looked pensive as she thought about what was said. The Itch got too much. so I scratched, looking a little bit like an ape in the process. The room devolved into laughter shortly after. Absently scratching my beard, I looked towards the station. "so... Friendship express huh?" Twilight, who stood next to me, simply nodded and beckoned me toward the Pink train. "At ease, the Human is with me" She stated before the two guards. they watched as a gave them a small sheepish smile, my things hung off my back like a pack rat. The acoustic guitar was held in a magic grip of a certain Unicorn. "Perhaps Trixie will see you in Canterlot?" Trixie sent me a sad smile. "Of course you will, I'll see you there at some point" I gave the Azure mare one last hug before I boarded. As the Train departed, Twilight began to ask me more... Personal questions. "so, what was life like back on your world... For you I mean" she asked, Quill and parchment at the ready. I blinked twice. "ah, How about no" she looked up at me for a moment. She noticed a small frown settled upon my face. as the fading sunlight hit my face, the lines and small wrinkles were made ever so slightly clearer. She decided it best to put the Quill and parchment away, but before she could, I took them off her and started to doodle. She didn't look to happy until I handed it back. a simple image and phrase simply laid there for all to see. soon enough I was met with big lavender Puppy dog eyes being aimed at me. I tried so hard to resist. She looked up to me and all became clear. "fine I'll tell you a small portion of my life" The mare simply nodded and began to listen. while I prepared the tale in my mind, I reached into my duffel bag, finding exactly what I was looking for. Pulling out a black cowboy hat, I placed it on my head and lowered it so my eyes were covered. "It was a night... much like this..." With a gentle breeze in the air, the stars were out and twinkling like diamonds. The moon in all her splendor shone down on the earth with peaceful ambition. she provided me with ample light. As I made my way back to my village home from a cruel night of labor in a poorly-run countryside escape hotel, I couldn't help but notice all of the sounds in the night. I grew skittish at first, watching the trees and the hedge-rows for any sign of danger. I continued this action as I walked until I looked up. Sure enough, There she was, gleaming her pale light over me, washing me with a strange calmness. admittedly, I didn't think of it before, but the night was more peaceful, heck... I preferred it to the chaos of a hard day's work. but then again, I needed the money to survive. It wasn't all bad, I realized that every night there was a possibility to see the night for what it truly is. Raw Beauty... "When I finally got home, I kinda... started writing a few bits and pieces of music, I even learned a few" I gave her a small smile, not noticing a small tear form on her face. Opening the guitar case, I pulled the Eclipse from its slumber. Twilight eyed the instrument for a moment, taking note of the moon inlays. she then noticed the headstock. There in bold letters was the name... Luna
when I'm on the trainI laid my hands on the black beauty of an acoustic guitar that I had in my possession. I missed hearing the sound of its mournful lyric, the way the strings vibrated at a simple touch. I missed how I could make her sing, how she'd make my fingers dance for her. I fell into a deep trance when I finally placed my fingers in the right places... I began to tune her up. Twilight simply watched the display like two lovers blissfully re-united. Before long, what was once the sound of frequencies being found was slowly becoming a small tune. she watched as my gaze then fixed itself out of the window. she noticed the little bits of scenery changed. the icy hills and snowy mountains, still slightly obscured by snowfall. the lavender alicorn remembered her tutor's words. each flake is a work of art. Upon this little thought, she smiled as I continued to play a small tune. I took my hand off the fretboard for a moment and shook off the cobwebs, so to speak. I cleared my throat. "Is there anything else you'd like to know about me?" This brought Twilight out of her stupor. She raised a hoof to her chin and appeared to be in deep thought. She didn't notice that the other patrons of the first class carriage were eavesdropping. It was out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a small filly looking slightly dejected. I raised a hand to stop Twilight from saying anything. "Whats wrong little one?" The little filly looked my way and her sullen expression changed to one of fear, until she noticed Twilight opposite me. she then adopted a more relaxed attitude... but she still looked upset about something. "hey, its okay, you can tell me, or would you prefer the Princess over here?" she pointed to the princess. Twilight simply patted the seat next her. I watched the little filly struggle to get up onto the seat, in the end I picked her up, not caring what the hell other ponies thought. as I placed the little filly down on the seat, I gave her a small smile. she began to ask if Twilight would help her with any school bullies she might confront when moving to a new school. I raised my hat slightly. "Kid... in my long life i've learnt that bullies are every where you go, the trick is to stand tall and defiant" The filly turned to look at me. "how old are you?" the little filly asked. I gave twilight a little grin. "ohh... I'll be 124 in a few months, so I'm still quite young" Twilight rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. "really? wow" the filly bounced off to her mother soon after. I went back to plunking the strings, somehow playing stairway to heaven in its entirety. "Cadence was right about you... being unpredictable" I began to strum Idly for a moment. then I tapped the guitar twice. not even a micro-second the sound of the strumming was replicated and played out of thin air. "Oh....kay... that's new" I shrugged my shoulders and began to play, brightening up the dreary atmosphere of the train. Twilight watched as my fingers effortlessly glided along the steel strings. she looked around, noticing the smiles and then simply laid back into her seat. she closed her eyes for a brief moment, losing herself to the music, and began to dream. but then the music stopped, she woke up. looking out of the window to see the makings of a perfect clear night. "How long was I asleep?" the mare asked. I fumbled for my phone, checking the time. "I'd say a few hours at most... like maybe four" I put the phone back in the duffel bag. she then looked over to me and tilted her head in confusion as I raised a pendant from my chest to my lips. she then heard me whisper the words lux lunae cursus ut, dux meus et stellae . She noticed the long, forlorn gaze leading toward the moon. I placed the pendant back in my shirt and began to play a masterpiece. it was perfect for a little insight. I started to play a more peaceful song, one which resonated within me. Twilight once again lost herself to the music and failed to notice the stray tear that rolled down my cheek as I played. Moonlight sonata always did make me cry....
I've seen this beforeThe moon had slowly made its way to the horizon, waving goodbye to the stars as it finally disappeared. soon after, the train slowly pulled into the station. there was a brief shuffle of hooves as the other passengers slowly left the carriage. I heard a tap on the acoustic, waking me up in the process. "Huh?" Twilight simply smiled at me. "We're here, welcome to Canterlot" she then gave me a big grin. I looked out of the window and saw white walls. I started to pack the acoustic away in its case. picking up the hat and placing it on my head, I looked over to Twilight, who stood at the doorway. "Ready to go?" she looked at me with confidence. I simply picked up the case and nodded. As soon as my foot left the carriage, I took a look at a mass gathering of guards, each one standing at the ready. "I'll meet you at the castle, Fast Skies, make sure Gimli gets there on time won't you?" a white Pegasus guard stepped forth and nodded. Twilight then vanished into thin air. all the other Guards dispersed, leaving me and Fast Skies alone. "so, Lead on" he simply cantered off. "Keep up Gimli!" he shouted. I frowned and simply waited for him to return. "fine... come on then" he sighed. as he took off in a pace I could keep up with. I gave the Pegasus a smile as we kept each others pace. "So, your a Human then? I expected something different" we started to slow down as we neared the gates. I looked at him for a moment as we slowed down. "what were you expecting, a glorified monkey?" he crashed down to earth laughing hysterically. he then pushed himself up off the ground and continued laughing, all the way to the gate. I gave Fast Skies a cheeky grin as he finally opened the gate. Not long after I found myself wandering through the corridors, Like a weaving labyrinth. Paintings Decorated the plain marble walls. I took a fleeting glance at each one, I then gave the guards accompanying me a shit-eating grin. "You look like you could loosen up," I cleared my throat and began to sing. "Come gather good people and hear the strange tale Of a man who was known in each county and vale In a pub down in London called the White Horse's tail Sat the one man in England who didn't drink ale" Within the confines of the throne room, two Alicorns slowly read through notations provided by Twilight on the new arrival. "Sister, Does this human know of us?" The smaller of the two asked. "I'm not sure, given that Twilight wrote about her encounter with the Human... Wait... Is that singing I hear?" The door opened as the Guards and I continued singing. "Whether stouts or old weizens or ales brown and pale, That strange motherbucker who doesn't like beer!" Both Alicorns looked shocked at first, until they saw the genuine smiles on the guards' faces. they then relaxed as I stepped forth. "so as my old tutor used to say, Always make a grand entrance, so In my own way I did," And with that I grinned once again, continuing to walk forward. "I suppose Twilight gave you the scoop on me did she?" "yes she said you were the most-" She was cut off as I grabbed the paper. "Frustrating, unpredictable creature she has ever met, save for Discord of course" Celestia blinked twice. "well... yes, and um... Welcome to Canterlot I suppose" the white Alicorn smiled. "so, you must be Celestia then, Pleasure... but who might you be?" I pointed to the smaller one. she was about to say something. "wait a minute," I pulled out the pendant. "aaaaaaaaaand go" "we are Princess Luna, and... and.... You wear the moon around your neck, Why?" she eyed the pendant closely, her mind racing with wonder. But then she felt a hand run through her mane, "Don't worry your pretty little head over it, okay? I'll tell you later" I gave the dark alicorn a smile. "tell us now!" She demanded, her shout reverberating throughout the castle. "Perhaps when you stop using ye old equestrian, How does that sound?" she sighed, looked to her sister, who looked at me. "very well, we shall do our best" Celestia continued to smile at me, "so, Human... erm.... Mr Bolton" "ah finally, the words I've been waiting to hear" "hear what? that i'm making you an equestrian citizen?" "yep, It's not like I want to go back to...well" "Tartarus, yes... your first home" "and besides, I could do so much more, be so much more... I can actually have a well lived life here i think... If you'll allow it" "I already have, You never read the rest of Twilight's notes" "oh... Thank you" I was speechless... "Just so you know... I also have an offer for you, a job" I looked at the alicorn incredulously. "what kind of job?" "How do you feel about Nobles?" "Do I get to piss them off?" "If I said yes, Would you take the job" "Consider it done!"
given work and pay?"So.... What exactly is my job?" I asked. The White Alicorn simply smiled as she beckoned me forth. As I took a step further, she gave me a grin. "Simple, Your going to be our mediator" "A what now?" I was surprised to say the least. "You're going to be our main decision breaker for political conferences and peace talks" My face fell. I hated politics, still do in fact. Back on earth I lived by the rules whoever wins, we lose in terms of politics. The fact that they had to have all these pointless little arguments and ignore the elephants in the room such as why there was even a thought on the bedroom tax... its rather foolish if you ask me... but I digress. I was still looking at her like she was a dancing monkey. "uh... and how does that enable me to piss off nobles?" "Simple, If you don't like their proposals... deny them" She grinned slyly. I caught on. "so basically... screw them over in favor of the little ponies" "Precisely" Luna smiled. "okey doke," I grinned once again. "Just... I dont know, summon me or something, I'm off to find out more about this city" "Wait, Before you go, here, your badge of office and stipend" I blinked twice as a badge which looked identical to the hand of the king badge from Game of thrones fixed itself to my coat. a bag of gold simply landed in front of me. "Huh? okay, well... uh.. Thanks" I picked up the money and simply smiled. after walking out, Twilight came cantering towards me. "How did it go?" She asked. "wow is all I'm going to say, also... I gots me a job already which is quite strange considering I didn't have one back on earth" She giggled at this before placing a hoof to her chin. "hmm, well In any case, Need a tourguide?" I looked down to the Lavender mare as she smiled sweetly up to me. "sure, whats the worst that could happen" I grinned stupidly. I had to say it didn't I. Rain hammered down upon us as we walked through the city, But I didn't mind that much. My hair began to cling to my face, Twilight was clever enough to bring an umbrella. She was a damn princess and she was walking around like she was still an equal to the non-alicorns. "Gotta say Twilight, were you expecting Rain?" "Not really, but you know what the weather team is like?... Right?" I shook my head, "nope... unless you count the ones who make stupid predictions" She looked at me in confusion. my Hair soon found its way in front of my eyes. considering for the past week I hadn't been able to really sort my hair out, I brushed it back. I know I'm not the most attractive man around but still, When I moved my hair out of my face, Twilight had said something, I turned to look at her for a moment. "sorry could you repeat that?" "I was saying, why don't we go get a..." She looked into my eyes for a brief moment before shivering. "coffee? ah, good Idea... Know any places?" I asked, she simply cantered off. Naturally I gave chase. after two minutes of solid running in the rain, I began to look a little bit more haggard. "sorry for running like that," She smiled sheepishly. "eheh.. well, Here we are... Donut Joes" I gave the mare a flat look. "really? there's a pony pun in here somewhere..."
The times they are a-changingI sat down near a window and simply watched the world go by. sure enough, I could smell the coffee as it slowly neared the table. "Got any sugar?" I asked as Twilight sat down opposite. she pointed to a small pot in the middle of the table. "so, tell me something, Gimli, how did you get in the icy plains?" she asked with a little bit of worry. "I have no clue, one minute I'm walking down the stairs in my old apartment block, next thing I know, I'm bouncing down the stairs, flying through the door, and finally being hit with the cold" she blinked twice. "Either, I'm dead or I fell through a rip in the space-time continuum, but either way... better than being back on earth" she raised a hoof to her chin and appeared to be in deep thought. "I wouldn't think too much on it, Twilight, you might blow a fuse" she then sighed. "Your probably right" she took a sip of her coffee, finally settling her gaze to the outside world. It was apparent that the rain had slowly started to let up. I carried on drinking my coffee as I simply followed a small drop of rain as it ran down the window. "So why did you start running anyways? was it to avoid the rain?" She blushed slightly. "n-no, nothing like that... I... uh... Had to use the little filly's room" I decided not to push the subject further. "Fair enough" an awkward silence fell afterwards. I turned to look at the lavender mare. "so...what shall we do now? are there any music shops in canterlot?" she shook her head. "I don't think so" She sighed. I finished my coffee shortly after she did. "Where to next then Princess?" I gave a grin. the mare gave a slight giggle, "well, we could go to the library?" I shot her a flat look. "okay maybe not, lets go to the castle then, I show you the rest of the city along the way, does that sound good?" "Sister, art thou sure it wise to let Twilight show the Human around the city? surely it could get violent?" Luna asked in a panicked voice. However, Celestia's giggling soon assuaged the Lunar Princess's fears. "Lulu, you need to relax, I felt no ill intent coming from him, and besides, He's with Twilight, I'm sure that if he did get violent, she would stop him" not long after that brief conversation, a guard flew in, breathing heavily. "your majesties, The human... He's... missing" the two alicorns shared a glance before Luna finally spoke. "I told you so" Taking a tour around the city seemed like a good Idea at the time, Until we got separated by fans of Twilight. It was lucky I was outside a very recognizable establishment. a well designed and very Irish looking pub. A smile crept onto my face, I checked the amount of bits I had in my pockets, chances are it wasn't a lot, in the end I decided to throw caution to the wind. I walked in, looking around, I noticed the barkeep looking slightly nervous. "wh...what'll it be sir?" I was about to say the usual but caught myself. "depends... what have you got?"
we'll call it an Irish pub"Alright, wait a minute... er... whatever you are, I'll need to see some ID" the barkeep shot me a glare. I simply snapped my fingers in frustration. "I don't have any, the only time I did was back home" I looked into a corner and saw a guitar. "You don't mind if I look at that quickly" "sure, you can look but don't touch, the owner will get annoyed, she's currently takin a leek right now" I sighed. "so anyways, what exactly are you?... no wait.. Your that.. Human from the Crystal Empire arent you" I nodded, giving him a slight grin. "here's some water, and a there's the mare" The mare came trotting up and simply smiled. "Like what you see?" Needless to say, I started to flounder. "I'm Joking, the name Is Silver Strings," she giggled, shaking her silver mane in the process. "you?" "Which name do you want?" I grinned. she looked at me strangely. "are most of them titles? or are they names to throw ponies of your trail?" "nope, Just names... oh... and maybe one title... Mad Dog" "well, what ever... I noticed you were eying up my Guitar, any particular reason?" I gave a slight chuckle. "Not really no, got me own one, I'll have to bring It down at some point" as we continued talking, the little Pub became busier and busier. Ponies of all creeds and types came in and started drinking and laughing. then I heard the sound... the joyous sounds of a folk punk band taking up arms against the cacophony of shouts. I smiled, simply sitting and enjoying the music. For a short while It was alright, until drunken leers and slurs were made against Silver. said drunken slurs were coming from a stallion sitting right next to me. the barkeep then leaned over to him. "Excuse me sir, but if you continue I'll have to ask you to leave" the stallion shrugged it off, then proceeded to follow a barmaid around like a horn dog for ten minutes. soon enough, He had Isolated her into a corner. I looked at the barkeep as he was about to leave his post. "wait here... and have soon Ice and some whiskey waiting for me, don't care If I need ID or not right now" He watched as I made my way towards the stallion. "Excuse me, Miss... You might want to move back a little bit" she moved to the side as I threw the stallion onto his back. "as for you," I dragged him towards the door. He started to kick his legs out in a feeble attempt to buck me in the arm. I then simply slung him out the door. "stay out of trouble!" I turned around and gave the crowd a small smile. Until of course, the Idiot tried to charge back in again. "Rider Kick" imitating Chuck norris, I pulled a roundhouse kick, catching him on the jaw, needless to say, the idiot was out cold. I began to limp towards the bar. grabbing the Ice, I placed it into my sock. "so that's why you needed the Ice" The barkeep mused. "that's how you find out your limits, he'll be out for a while... Just... Move him out of the way... Maybe call the guard, tell em about an attempted rape... because that's what it looked like to me" I grabbed the whiskey and took a sip. He looked at me for a moment, expecting me to start coughing because of the strong flavor. "now that's a flavor I can get used to, what's the brand?" I gave the barkeep a smile. "Apple-Jack Daniels" He said, shocked that I had drunk it with out a care in the world. Several Guards and a distraught Twilight walked in, frantically scanning the bar. I gave a simple wave and took another sip of whiskey. "What took you so long?"
Whiskey, the enablerTwilight stood there, mouth agape. "Well Don't just stand there, pull up a stool" I watched as she imitated a floundering fish before she finally trotted over. "What'll It be... P-princess Sparkle what an honor" the barkeep started to gush. I simply looked over to him and then grinned. Twilight looked at me for a moment, as if to ask If i was planning something. "hey, could I get these spirits please? I'll give you the recipe afterwards" I smiled, the barkeep simply shrugged. He set the cocktail ingredients and equipment out onto the bar top. "all right, Mad Dog, but make me one too, if it's good theres a job in it for ya" I look at him, bewildered but then I relaxed for a moment. I realized what it would mean having the first human to work at an equestrian bar. "Alright, but I may decline the offer for a while" I quickly got to work. Twilight watched as I slowly and lovingly recreated a cocktail, all the while singing a little ditty from my time in ireland. as I finished the three drinks I sung the last line. "I'm in the wrong prison cell and the wrong company" the barkeep laughed at the song before taking a sip. "wow" "I might have taken a few little liberties with the flavor, but it should be about right" Twilight looked at me for a moment. then took a tentative sip herself. "how?" "not rightly sure, I think it was round my 21st birthday, everyone forgot... so I decided to just go out," A sullen expression graced my face, the wrinkles became slightly clearer. "I took a short walk around the city, ending up at a random bar, I didn't know it at the time, but it was a gay bar," they laughed a little as they listened. "I was sat at the bar near a wall, just watching them all, having their fun with not a care in the world," I sighed before continuing. "as I watched, I couldn't help noticing the bartender was tapping the bar top in front of me..." "excuse me? Is everything alright?" the bartender asked, Noticing Robert's sullen expression. "It'll get better," The young man grunted before taking a swing of beer, letting the cool liquid run down his throat for the umpteenth time. "in time... I hope" I huffed. The barman simply looked at the red-headed man for a moment. "Usually this is the part where the barman hands out a bit of advice... but this isn't like the movies is it, where people suddenly appear to celebrate something as trivial as a birthday" the red-head quietly muttered. The sound of glass sliding across wood was heard for a brief moment followed by a clink of a lighter and finally a fizz. the red-head currently had his head resting on his arms. "Hey, chin up, your alive aren't you? the night is young, man... you've just got to... Live in the moment" Robert picked his head up and looked at the drink sitting in front of him. He took a tentative sniff, then a sip. the flavors danced along his tongue and rekindled the fire in his aching heart. "what the hell?! this...this is..." Thats when the bartender said it, the one phrase to describe it... "Timey-Wimey, Wibbly wobbly," The barman chuckled. "Now get out there and live" The Red-head finished the drink, invigorated by the new ideal. but then quickly ran back in. "nearly forgot to pay for it," he smiled. Pulling his wallet out. "How much for it?" the bartender declined the money. "well... I don't really work here," the man said as he thrusted a note inside Robert's hand. "In fact... I should be leaving right now.... Before I get caught again" with those final words, He ran off. "Leaving me slightly confused but ready to face the world once again" as I finished my story, all three glasses were empty... Twilight simply looked at me for a moment... "when is your birthday?" I shrugged. "4 days from now"
80% proofWent out drinking late last night. I had a blast But now the morning light has come and kicked my ass. so, there we were, three compatriots, simply drinking the night away and for the first time. I felt more at home than ever. It also brought to mind that I couldn't really remember the last time I actually did this. Drinking with friends I mean. That word again... a word that for a while, seemed so foreign. Back in the day, I was used by so called friends. I lacked a backbone. hell, I let them walk all over me, nearly reaching my breaking point. I cut myself off from everyone and isolated myself. but I still made an effort to wind up in pubs and bars simply making people laugh and cheering people up. Funny thing is, I genuinely cared about people... but hated the human race. I looked at the little princess for a moment as she drank and talked with the bartender, finding out little things about what goes on. She was having fun and learning something new. but it became apparent that she was asking me something. "Should we get going?...back to the castle?" I simply nodded. the bartender simply gave me a smile. "Thanks for the recipe, Mad Dog, I hope to see you again soon" Walking out of the bar, I simply strolled along with twilight beaming away beside me. "so all in all, i think I learned a lot more about life here on the whole from that bartender than I did from a book" I chuckled. Twilight shot me a flat look. "I still think you should read a little bit into the history of equestria," the lavender mare sighed. "Besides, it's a nice place when its not filled to the brim with drunk ponies" I looked at her for a moment, she was probably expecting me to say something. but instead, I simply scratched my chin. "drunk ponies....sounds like fun" I grinned as I walked up behind her. "so, what next? am I to be dragged around the castle once again or what?" she looked down for a moment. "what is it?" "we're sending you to ponyville at the end of the week" she stated glumly. "Isn't that a good thing though?" I asked. "kinda, I'll be back and fourth between here and there but" "say no more, you'll have to gather your friends when we get there, yeah? that way I can say hello and you can play catch up" She looked at me for a moment. I noticed she looked a little more tired than I thought. "Come on, You look tired... after dealing with those fanatics it's surprising your still standing" I let out a small chuckle before moving some hair out of my face. "shall we head back then?" the alicorn simply nodded for a brief moment. The walk back to the castle was mostly un-eventful, apart from a few odd looks from the locals. Naturally, I gave them a small smile before letting out a small chuckle. "this reminds me if something..but I can't remember what" Twilight looked up at me for a moment, still trying to avoid my eyes. "really? " she giggled out. we finally made it to the large doors as we heard the loud shout of one Princess Luna. "WE TIRE OF THIS BICKERING BETWEEN THEE" I burst through the door, noticing the two stallions crouching in fear before the Night Princess. I simply blinked twice before speaking up. "Luna, shouting won't solve everything... and whats their problem?" "these two Stallions were involved in an altercation outside a tavern, a fight broke out between them and neither will accept their punishment" Luna grumbled. "well, you deserve a drink"
mixing wordsLuna simply looked at me for a moment. Celestia had trotted in with a small smile as I turned to the two stallions. "You two had best leave, Night Court is adjourned for now" they both looked at me for a moment before turning tail and running off into the night. "Excuse me, Robert, but why did you let them go?" Twilight asked me from the side. I raised my hand to my chin, idly scratching my beard. "I havent a clue" I grinned. there was a slight groan emenating from the entire room. I simply shrugged, "now then, how about that drink?" Luna nodded, as she set off. the four of us idly chatted away, and before long, we were in a small, cozy room. "Well then, mighty alchemist? make us thy potions of intoxication" Luna spoke, I simply let out a small chuckle. "fair enough milady" I grinned at the princess, reaching for various bottles before simply chuckling. "two choices, Garo.... Or red requiem?" all three looked confused for a moment. Luna spoke once more "Surprise us" I grinned, before long the drinks were ready, I placed each one infront of them. "drink up me hearties, yo ho" I chuckled before Finding my way to a balcony. Reaching into one of my pockets, I pulled out my phone. still a full battery...makes a change I thought to myself, as I placed the earphones in. soon enough, I was watching the stars, each one a small masterpiece. the way each one flickered like fairylights on a christmas tree. Soon enough, I began to sing Youtube Video , quietly at first. I carried on quietly serenading the stars, Oblivious to what was going on. I felt a hoof on my back. I didn't notice the glow in my eyes as the music carried forth from seemingly nowhere. I turned to see Luna smiling at me. I blinked for a moment during an instrumental break. "What?" Eye's still aglow. She raised a hoof to cover her giggle, Which actually sounds quite cute. great...I've been here for almost three weeks and already I'm falling... Oh well. I continue to sing my merry tune, taking a random swig of alcohol every so often. for unknown reasons I felt compelled to take the Lunar princesses Hooves in my hands and dance with her, which promptly caused a blush to spread across her face. "Thou art quite intoxicated aren't thee?" I shake my head. Celestia was in fits of laughter, having noticed how awkward Luna and I looked. Twilight looked incredibly confused.
in which I find myself freezing my balls offRain. it thunders down on the rooftops of the city, it doesn't change much other than providing a dampener on the usual hustle and bustle of a never-sleeping cesspit of delusions. it was a boring day, one where I would be alone. As I walked the streets of the city, I took notice of all the people running from place to place. on some occasions I would just laugh at them and say "It's only water" or "buy an umbrella" and generally be a patronizing dip-shit. but today wasn't one of those days. sadly, much like that one band... my biometric fuck-buddy, or something like that, there was a split. and much like the fandom of said band, I was torn in two. I couldn't bare the thought of someone walking out of my life again. and to add to the misery, I lost my job. considering it was crappy, mind-numbing office work... I couldn't really care less. but it still happened. I plugged the headphones in and pressed play on my mp3. Hearing the only thing that could keep me sane for a while. as I walked throughout the city and headed towards home, I took notice of all the depressed faces. as though joy had simply died. I sighed as I looked across, left and right. no vehicles were to be seen, so, Throwing caution to the wind, I crossed. but as soon as I stepped foot on the road, a sports car zoomed past. If I had been an inch further in front... Yeah, best not to think about that. As I walked across to my destination, I took a deep sigh once more. it was wet, rainy days like these that i was thankful i had a roof over my head. Reaching the door to my apartment, I stopped, reaching forwards to grab the paper that was sellotaped to the door. the bold lettering boiled my blood. I unlocked the door and simply slumped down on the sofa, carefully reading and re-reading the eviction notice. It was at that point, my mp3 died. I placed the thing on charge and began to pack my small amount of belongings into my bag. Oh the joys of living the minimalist lifestyle. I slipped my fully charged phone into my pocket, and looked out the window. checking my wallet, I had just enough to get out of the city. there was a knock on the door. "hello, Mr Bolton?" the landlord entered what was once my home. "in case you haven't noticed," he said with a shit eating grin "your time is up so either pay up or...." I pulled the jacket off the coat rack, and put it on, Picking up the gig-bag, the bag full of personal items and other things like chargers and a bag full of food and drink. "get out.... oh" I finally pulled the Mp3 and charger from the wall. "see you in hell, Bill" with those final words, I took a step out of the apartment and headed off. However, that's when things began to change. the lift was out. so I took the stairs. each step was carefully placed due to the weight of everything. but then again... I was clumsy. I lost my footing and bounced down the steps whilst trying to shout "look out" finally landing on the ground floor, I walked out of the door. then I was struck with a blast of chilling, freezing cold air. All I could remember was the cold. its bitter sting on my extremities. my frost-bitten hands were shoved into my coat pockets in a feeble attempt to find warmth. My only option was to keep moving. as the wind grew stronger, I felt a small barrier of ice forming on my legs. I pushed on, seeking the small light in the bleak blinding whiteness of the tundra. when I reached my destination, all went black. I was no longer cold. I felt fur against my cold hands, the gentle hum and the occasional, grunt of displeasure. then the worried voice emanating from a young woman. "Trixie hopes that you wake up soon... whatever you are" perhaps there are two of them? I had a name, but no face. I then heard the gentle sounds of hooves hitting wood. then felt the thud of my head hitting the wood. Desperately trying to wake up from almost being a Popsicle, I feverishly shook my head. finally getting my bearings back. "Hello?" I rasped out. "is there anyone there?" upon this phrase, the hooves got closer, then an azure coat and small smile came into my peripheral vision. "H-hello there" she looked just as frightened as I was. I blinked for a moment before returning the smile. "um, Hi" was all i could muster. extending an open hand, she replace fear with bewilderment. I recoiled my hand considering the situation. "what are you?" she asked me. I looked at my hands for a moment, considering they were moderately warm finally. "Human, hang on, your a unicorn..." I finally noticed. she looked me up and down. "they don't have unicorns in your world?" "nope... gather they don't have Humans on yours?" "no, my name is Trixie" I looked her up and down, then promptly pinched my self. "why did you just do that?" "fell down some stairs and walked out of a building... I kinda figured i might still be out cold from the fall" she pointed to my bags. "if you were still out cold, those wouldn't be with you" The azure Mare was right. I gave her a small smile in return. "so what are you doing way out here?" "Trixie was heading towards the Crystal Kingdom, for a show Trixie.,.. I mean I was going to put on for the fillies and colts" I raised an eyebrow. "before we travel on together, what is your name, assuming you have one" once again, I extended my hand, this time into a fist. "the name is Robert Bolton, but you can call me Gimli, Most of my friends do"
