For science, you Monster.

                                                                       Chapter Two: And Over again.

"Princess Celestia! We have pin-pointed the source of the blast, it appears to be in Ponyvillie. We believe it is the first strike against the Equestrian Empire, though we know naught of the cause nor the attackers."

"Do you see or any others see any sign of invasion? A army of griffins? A horde of raging dragons? How about stampeding centaurs?"

The guard swayed his head side-to-side, none of these creatures even spotted near the blast sight.

"No? Then it is a simple spell gone wrong, now back to your post. Same goes for the rest of you!"

As the Guard spread the news, Celestia let out an long sigh. It was expected that an event like this would be caused eventually, but not on such a grand scale. If she could not calm the politicians, Equestria could face the possibility of war.

"My faithful student, what have you done this time?"

"Ooooh my head.... Lyra, are you okay?" Bonbon shifted a few wooden planks around, looking for her unicorn friend.

"Yeah I'm fine, but my horn is still tingly. How's the house looking?" It took Lyra a moment to get back up, having most of her energy stolen by the blast.

"Eh, certainly not in the worst of conditions. Though it has seen better days."

"And the pod?"

"It's... uhhhh.... glowing."

"Glowing? Oh that can't be good. We should probably go get some help from Twilight. She'd know what to do!"

"Yes, you two go get some help while I suffered an agonizingly slow and painful death inside an metal coffin.

"Is it that bad?"

"No, I was being sarcastic and I'm enjoying every moment inside! WHAT DO YOU THINK? GO GET SOME HELP BEFORE I- OH MY LORD ITS BURNS! IT BURNS LIKE A THOUSAND SUNS! NOW ITS EATING MY INSIDES! GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME O-"

The two mares shot out of the door, dodging piles of fractured wood as they frantically speed toward Twilight's house to escape the cries of pain. They went non-stop, speeding past groggy by-standers and an angry mob forming at the Mayor's house. When they reached the Bearer of Magic's house, they spotted two lumpy shapes just outside the doorway learning on the tree for support.

"Twilight! We-" Bonbon began, huffing for breath.

"-Sorta found-" Lyra continued, alternating speaking parts.

"-a talking-"

"-white thing and-"

"-it offered Lyra-"

"-a job! But-"

"-now it's-"

"-glowing and-"

"-in lots and-"

"-lots of pain!" The lyre-playing unicorn finished, collapsing with her friend on the ground once more.

"Wait, so there's a glowing pod that offered you a job but now it's withering in pain and agony?"

Lyra nodded slowly, her chest rising and falling quickly as she caught her breath.

"Alright Spike, I think I know what caused this- Let's go!" Celestia's student promptly levitated the baby dragon on to her back and sped towards Lyra's house, a teleportation spell already forming in her mind. With a flash of light she was gone, leaving the two exhausted mares on their own. Moments later they were back up once again, running towards the same destination.

Meanwhile...

Phase two completed. Phase three: Deployment is now active. Awaiting pod activation.

"H-hello? Is anything in here?" Twilight called out cautiously, seeing nothing moving the ruble that was the aquamarine pony's home. The girders and support beams had been shattered and furniture obliterated by what must have caused the blast in the first place. A faint glow appeared on the side of a fallen book-case, leading her to guess that was where the pod was. She carefully lifted a column of wood, nearly dropping it as her eyes shrank from the pod's bright glow.

"Jeez, it's like someone turn the sun on in here."

"YOUR the one to talk, it looks as if a 70's rug with a fetish for all things purple threw up and out came you."

"Hey, who said that? And what does that even mean?" Nopony was seen, but they were certainly heard.

"It means that you're a blob of purple who got abandoned by yours parents and- Is that a lizard on your back?"

And so the battle of wits began.

"He's not a lizard, he's a baby dragon. His name is Spike, and he is also my assistant." 'Spike' stuck his tongue out in the general direction of the voice.

"Assistant? You mean you're forcing a infant to do work for you? And here I thought humans were cruel. As for the dragon part, they are mythological creatures who commonly have wings and breath fire. Although the Eastern dragons have been depicted flying regardless of having no wings, which defies the Laws of Physics and disproves multiple theories on the abilities of natural flight."

"What laws of physics? Obviously they haven't been proven if I haven't heard of them, but then again my collection of scientific studies have been a bit outdated. Are you sure you don't mean the Laws of magic?"

"Magic. Ha. That is me laughing at your awful joke. Ha ha. No seriously, dragons do not exist nor does magic. They are merely figments of your imagination as you rot in an asylum, driven mad by these concepts."

"What? I'm not mad.... Am I Spike? Is this really some twisted dream I am having?"

GLaDOS was winning, and she was liking it.

"We were going celebrate you finally realizing that this was a dream and invite your friends . But all your other friends couldn't come because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. 'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official."

"B-b-but...." The unicorn was on the verge of crying, her eyes already filling with salty tears. "Spike, you like me? Right?"

"Yeah, of course I do! You're the-" "Most annoying, most unlikable pony I have ever had the misfortune to come across in my entire lifetime."

"SPIKE!"

"That wasn't me! I swear! I don't even know what half of those words mean!"

The purple unicorn's horn lit up, a look of sadness and anger on her face. She picked him up and swung him in circles violently before letting go, sending him rocketing into one of the many walls.

"Oh that was good. Do it again, this time I'll record it. For science, naturally. One does not simply see an angry equestrian fling a wingless-dragon into a wall everyday." A light laughter followed, ebbing away at the little patience Twilight had left. 'Most unlikable pony I have ever had the misfortune to-' Oh had I know it would've been this easy to upset you I would have dangled a book in front of you and threaten to set it on fire."

"You WHAT? Did you just trick me into slinging my best male-friend into a solid wall? You monster!"

"412...."

"Ooooh you're going to pay for this! By Star Swirl's beard you will!"

"247....."

"Don't make- Wait what are you doing?"

"Count how many time I've heard these 'Heroic' speeches. It's a hobby I started not to long ago, I'm honestly surprised how many times these phrases have been repeated by you flesh-bound creatures."

"Well, I'll....I am ganna..... Urgh! I'll use the elements of harmony on you!"

"Hmmmm..... 12."

"URGH! This is ridiculous! Just where the hey are you?!"

"Oh, another triple digit. You done yet? Or maybe you're to stupid to see what's been literally staring at you for the last ten minutes."

"What do you- Oh you're kidding me. You've been in the pod the whole time?"

"Yep, give the moron a prize! How about a bottle of Neurotoxin? I know I have some around here somewhere.... Oh here it- Hey what are you doing? Stop that! You can't do that, you're not a qualified Aperture Science Trans-dimensional warp-pod operator!"

"But apparently I'm a moron and. Morons. Don't. Need. Permission!" The Unicorn was now violently banging on the pod with one of the fallen beams, making large visible dents in the surface of the pod.

"No, stop it. Stop it! You'll damage the pod at this rate!" Alerts sounded in the pod, identifying several hull breaches. "No! No no no no! Don't kill me! Please, I beg of you! I'll stop, I swear! I'll AAAAAAAAAAAAA-" The blinding light now given off the angered unicorn, caused GLaDOS to shield her eyes with her limbs as she waited for the final blow.

But it never came.

"You're so.... tiny! And adorable! You're the cutest thing I have seen since Spike!" A loud SMASH was heard as the pillar of wood as tossed away, narrowly missing the two mares from before.

"What's so- OMG THAT IS THE MOST ADORABLE THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!" "I CALL FIRST HUG!"

"What are you three morons rambling on about- wait. Is that my voice? Why is it so.... less in intimidating? You stupid rage must've damaged the voice modulators, idiot. Do you know how expensive and how hard is to repair those? Not to mention that- JUST WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?"

"You, you silly filly! Take a look for yourself!" Lyra levitated a mirror over to GLaDOS, whose expression turned from frustration to pure terror when she saw what had become of her.

She was logic-defying, physics-screwing equestrian filly.

GLaDOS had turned into a Unicorn.