Becoming Raindrops

“Thomas, we're here. You can wake up now.”

My ear flicked in annoyance, and I curled up a little tighter. The bed was a little stiff, and something was pressing against me, but it was fine; I was warm and happy right now. I knew I was in a small, enclosed space, and staying asleep was the best way to ignore the claustrophobia clawing at my mind. As a pegasus, I couldn't handle the super small spaces, my instincts were screaming for me to get back into the sky.

“I got this.” I knew that was TJ, but I once again just curled up tighter, trying with all my heart to ignore the claustrophobia. “GOOD MORNING!”

“AHHH!” I probably would've bonked my head on the car roof, but the seat belt thankfully pinned me down. I held a hoof over my heart, trying to catch my breath. “Not cool, TJ! Not cool!”

TJ, unfortunately, was standing there laughing, clutching his sides. Andrew was doing the same. After a minute of trying to silence them with a glare, I gave up and fumbled with the seatbelt latch for only a moment before I got it to click. Both of them stopped laughing as I hopped out of the car on my own, and I took the time to smirk at them. I spotted my house behind them, and went for my pack, the item having been already pulled out. It took a bit of struggling with my teeth, but I was able to unzip the side pouch where my house keys were, and once my friends had recovered from their shock, we headed to the front door. It took a bit of time, but I was able to get just enough leverage to unlock the door, the keys clamped tightly in my teeth. Just to let you know, keys hurt when held too long.

“Huh... I guess mom's out playing with the horse,” I comment, seeing as she isn't home. Sassy, one of our cats, is relaxed on the closest single-person chocolate-colored leather chair. She looks over and meows at me. “Hi, Sassy.”

She just stares, and I ignore her and walk past. My friends know where my room is, so they drop my stuff off there.

“Hey, I'm gonna take TJ home,” Andrew mentioned as I took a minute to open the room to my Man Cave. Or is that Mare Cave now? Same initials, so they both work, I guess.

“Okay, thanks for the ride,” I say, making to give a rather awkward hug. Andrew has to kneel down to make it comfortable.

“Dude, is this your Man Cave? Nice!” TJ comments, smiling at what he sees. I grin.

It's not bad, I'll admit. I got this stuff for my birthday right around my high school graduation. It had a small table, a futon, a small HD TV that was a hand-me-down from my grandparents, a mini-fridge, and a microwave. Oh, and a few game systems and lots of DVDs and my laptop, of course.

“I think you're set for entertainment,” He states, nodding approvingly.

“I like to think so.”

“Hey, you gonna meet us at Clark for some games tomorrow?”

“I'll need a ride.”

“That won't be a problem.”

“I'll... probably go. I'll let you know, okay?”

“Sure. Later, Thomas.”

“...Later.”

I'll never admit it aloud, but seeing them go when they were probably the one thing currently letting me keep my sanity was almost painful. So when I shut the door behind me and locked it, I had to take a deep breath and calm myself down. I really, really didn't want to lose it again – especially in a body that wasn't even mine. I needed someone to talk to, other than myself, but with Mom out playing with her horse at a barn space she rented, I was on my own for a while.

I could spend some more time getting used to being a pony, I suppose... I could also spend a little time getting used to no longer being male. Just thinking of that made me shudder slightly, so that was out of the question; just ignore the change in gender, Thomas, and go get something to eat.

“Actually,” I say aloud, talking to myself like I almost always do. “Food sounds good right now.”

Of course, that's when my stomach rumbles. Walking a bit awkwardly to the fridge, still not completely accustomed to the legs, I had to spend about five minutes staring at the handle that was blocking my way to the apples. I don't know why I was craving an apple, but I was, and I wanted one right now. It was going to be a little awkward opening the door. It took a little bit of finesse, but I was able to hook a hoof around the handle just enough to pull it open. Another minute passed before I was able to pull open the fruit drawer with my teeth and grab an apple in my teeth. I had to take a moment to close the fridge without destroying the drawer, but once I did, I grabbed the apple in my hoof without thinking.

“Oh, right...” I murmured to myself as I noticed the apple being perfectly balanced in my hoof. “Magic grabby hooves. Well, time to eat.”

I promptly chowed down on the apple. At least, that was the plan, until I realized much tastier it was in comparison to when I had been human. I had to slow down and savor the juicy, deliciously crisp taste, it was just so good!

“Mmm...” I moaned slightly, enjoying the incredibly welcome taste of the apple.

Something about it made me want another one, assuming I had room afterwards. Unfortunately, by the time I returned to my Man Cave's door and had eaten the thing down to the core, I was completely full. I'd have to wait until later. Just after tossing the thing into a trash can, I froze as the door to the garage opened. I'd completely missed the garage door opening with my mom's return! Crap! And so I just stood there, frozen as my mother stepped inside, spotted me, and just... stopped. She froze, staring as a myriad of emotions crossed over her countenance.

“Err... hello?” She ventured cautiously, her various bags of horse riding items balanced in her hands as well as her purse and other items. Of course, her speaking activated my fight-or-flight response. Or in this case, flight-or-flight.

“AHHH!” I found myself screaming out of sheer panic, dashing into my cave and slamming the door shut behind me, leaning against it. If I had a mirror, I'm sure my pupils would be extremely small, kind of like how it happens in the show when a character starts to freak out. There was a tentative knock on the door.

“Open the door.”

“No!” I cried, far too scared to know her reactions to even give it a chance. “I... I'm sorry!”

“It's either you open the door, or I call the police for breaking and entering!”

And now my own mother was threatening to have me arrested. Well, that certainly didn't help my emotional state. “I-I-I can't do that, Mom!”

My hooves flew to cover my mouth as I realized what I just said. The ears I had pinned down out of fear and panic started to creep up as I heard her gasp. Whether it was in shock or figuring out how I'd gotten in the house, I don't know.

“T-Thomas...?” It was asked so quietly that if it weren't for my more sensitive ears, I probably wouldn't have heard it. “You can come out. I won't hurt you.”

I swallowed the lump that had developed in my throat, licking my lips as I thought about what to do next. “...Promise?” I don't know what made me ask that, but I've always known my mother to be good at keeping her promises.

“I promise. Now please, let me open the door.”

Once again swallowing air through my dry mouth, I nervously stepped away from the door and shut my eyes tight, my ears pinned down and tears ready to burst out at whatever disappointment I was going to hear. My wings were ready to burst open and fly the heck out of there, if need be, and I was hunched up slightly as well.

It's ridiculous what fear for a loved one's reaction can do to you.

As I stood there, too afraid to look at what she was doing, too deeply attentive to the destructive thoughts in my head, I froze when I heard the floor creak as she knelt down in front of me. What was she going to do? Oh, goodness, I hoped she wasn't mad, please don't be mad at me, it wasn't my fault, I had no control over –

“I'm so sorry,” She whispered, wrapping her arms around me as best she could, bringing me in for the kind of hugs that a mother is good at. You know, the kind where they hug you to prove they love you unconditionally and make every bit of fear and annoyance melt away. “I'm so sorry this happened to you.”

I don't think I had even realized how afraid I'd been of her reaction, because the moment she said those words, I lost it. Again. I wrapped my forelegs around her, buried my face in her shoulder, and found myself crying all over her riding clothes. That's twice in two days. Can't wait to see the third day. I don't know how long it takes for me to be reduced to sniffling and dry tear ducts again, but when I am, I just stay there in her hold, enjoying the warm, comforting embrace.

“...Thanks, Mom,” I whisper softly. I don't know if she understands how important her comfort is to me at this point.

“Anytime, sweetie,” She responds, before finally pulling away. “Can you meet me in the living room to talk? I'd like to at least change out of my stinky clothes.”

Some things never change. “Heh. Sure.”

She gave me a soft smile as she left the room, and I followed her out. She went to her room, and I took a minute to scramble onto the large, chocolate-colored leather couch that sat in between two small side-tables and near the smaller leather chair. In front of me was the closed TV cabinet, the one I never used since there was never anything good on. Not to mention the internet was a much better viewing method. I find one of my cats, the black-and-white one, Magic, coming up to me with curiosity shining in those golden orbs. After about five seconds, she snuggles up close to me and opts to lay down against my side, purring and looking at me for attention. Not a moment later, Mom comes out of the back area of the house, dressed in pajamas for the rest of the day. She smiles at what she sees.

“At least she still likes you,” She comments, and I nod, watching as she comes over and sits down next to me. She calmly places a hand on my back, and I try not to flinch away from it, still not all that used to the sensations of this body. “Thomas... could you tell me what happened?”

I glance away, licking my lips slightly. It's a bit of a nervous habit for me. I take a few minutes to explain that my friends and I had gone to bed, ready to hike the Ape Caves today... but when I woke up transformed, it was ultimately decided that we should leave. After a moment of internal debate, I opted to mention that I did, indeed, have quite the breakdown this morning while up there. I also told her that my friends were awesome and incredibly supportive.

“I've known you to be a brony for a while now,” She begins to say. “But who exactly are you supposed to be? I only know about... Twilight Spackle, was it?”

“Sparkle,” I correct immediately. “And I'm supposed to be Raindrops.”

“A mare.”

Of course that would be the next subject she'd bring up. “Yeah. A mare.”

“I'm so sorry you have to go through this,” She says again, running her hand down my head. I don't know what it is about feeling a hand go through my mane like that, but it was very soothing. “But I don't know what to do about it. Is there anything special that you need?”

I take a minute to think, but I just lean against her, seeking her warmth, her comfort. “I... I just need some... support right now.”

Mom just decides to remain silent, and keeps running her hand through my mane. “Mind if I ask a few questions?”

“As long as they don't pertain to me being a mare now.”

Thankfully she doesn't give a snort of laughter at my deadpan statement. “You have wings, so clearly you're a pegasus. But are they big enough?”

“Yeah, they are. They're perfectly capable of carrying me.”

“Have you flown yet?” The worry in her voice at the very idea made me smile. The affirmation that some things never change, no matter the circumstances, was incredibly comforting.

“No, not yet. Right now they're kinda decoration, I don't know how to move them at all. I barely know how to walk properly.”

“Are you going to try?”

“Probably. Sooner or later. At least it'll be the perfect training for being a pilot, right?”

She just chuckles slightly. “Thomas... is... is this some sort of... punishment?”

I frown slightly as I look up at her. I know exactly what she means. “No. This isn't a sort of divine punishment, no matter what the radio or the news channels say. This is happening because of a My Little Pony villain.”

“Are you sure?”

“Now that this has happened, I'm more sure than before.”

Mom nodded. “Are you going to be like the other... ponies and head to New York?”

I shake my head, “No there's enough of them heading there. Not to mention that it would take too long to catch up, so it's just easier if I stay back and support them from here until they need me.”

“I'm glad to hear that. I heard about these... PAPA people, and I was really worried you'd try and go against them.”

“I'm against them anyway, but now that this has happened... it'd be easier to avoid them as best I can.”

“You mentioned a game day tomorrow at the college. Is that a college thing, or just your friends?”

“Just my friends. I was thinking about going, Andrew already offered me a ride.”

“Alright,” She nods, before finally getting up and moving to the kitchen. “I'll make us some dinner, okay?”

I thank her, knowing she had a handle on what to cook. Magic, at this point, had followed my movements in leaning against Mom and was now laying her front half over my back, her back half resting on the couch.

“Really, Magic?” I ask her. She just continues to purr. “Oh, fine.”

I decide to just lay there and let her have her fun. At least she wasn't clawing my feathers out. Right now she found them more fun to lay against. Mom smiled at seeing this, and put the TV on to one of our favorite shows, NCIS. A little violent, sure, but it was still entertaining. A few episodes later and I had to kick Magic off of my back – where she had migrated to lay right between my wings – in order to join Mom at the dinner table.

We took our time eating for the most part. Hooves don't make it easy to pick up utensils. Of course, her having a horse and having read dozens of books on caring for them, she'd made a little salad with some apple slices for me. And let it be known that I totally didn't clean the plate in a few minutes. I definitely was polite and took my time.

“Burraap.” Okay, so I'm stretching the truth a little bit. “Excuse me.”

Mom gives another chuckle, “Even as a pony you've forgotten your manners.”

“Oops.”

We share a small laugh, as we finish our meal. She takes care of the dishes and tells me to simply do as I normally do after dinner – go back to the Man/Mare Cave and play games or hang out on the laptop. Giving her a grateful hug, I do as she suggested, and take my time to practice using hooves for playing with my decks and my game systems. By the time I'd figured out how to consistently pick up cards and hold them, it was time for bed, thankfully. So I gave my mother a hug good night, climbing into my bed with a little bit of a struggle. Once I had found my way under the covers, I plopped my head down on the pillow and closed my eyes. A thought crossed my mind just before it shut down for the night.

What were my other friends going to think of me tomorrow?