Will of Fire

Chapter 15 - Regret

By: TheXIIILightning

"That's everything that I remember."

I had just finished telling them the story of how I met Trixie and Sunshine. At first, I was just going to tell them that we were orphans, but for some reason I just kept talking. It felt... Good to let it all out for once. I just hope that they changed their opinion of Trixie, I don't know if I can handle another fight when she get's here.

The entire library was in silence, except for the occasional sniff from Fluttershy. Pinkie still had her poofy mane, despite slightly shorter, she was rubbing Fluttershy's back. Twilight was at my side giving me a small smile despite the sadness in her eyes. The other three girls had their heads hanged low, I couldn't see their eyes or read their expressions, and that seriously troubled me.

"Well girls..." Pinkie was the first to break the smile, we all turned to her, except for those three. "I guess I'll walk Fluttershy home, see you all tomorrow." Twilight and I gave her a small nod, and they got up and slowly left the library.

The awkward silence continued for a while, I didn't say a word, but Applejack and Rarity were moving their mouth, but a single sound hadn't come out. Twilight just sighed and went to the kitchen. After a while Rainbow Dash took of through the door, I heard her mumble something that looked like an apology, but she left before I could say anything.

A few moments later it was Raritys turn to speak.

"I'm terribly sorry. I hope you can forgive me." She didn't wait for an answer, she just moved towards the door. When she reached the doorway I said.

"I already had." She stopped, but carried on after a few seconds, without saying another word.

Now, it was just me and Applejack in the library, after a while she looked me in they eyes, but immediately looked away.

"Can ah have a word with ya, outside please..." She mumbled, I just said "Sure." and followed her outside. The night was still beautiful, I could see the moon shining on Applejacks coat and the stars through the small holes in the canopy of the library. Luna really did a great job tonight.

"Ah am really sorry 'bout what ah said earlier. Ah didn't realize that some other ponies could..." She sat down on dirt, motioning me to do the same. I sat down beside her and she kept talking.

"Ah lost mah Ma and Pa a long time ago..." She sighed.

"I'm sorry." Was all I could say, now I felt even more terrible for what I said earlier.

"Don't be sugarcube, you was right fer tellin' me all that. Ah was being a real nail in the horseshoe back there." A small silence surrounded us, not an awkward one, just normal silence.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked her.

"Ah guess... The other's already know 'bout it, but ah don't think they understand." She sighed again, I didn't say a word.

"Mah Ma passed away when she gave birth to mah lil'sis, sweet little Apple Bloom was so much like her. Big Mac says she has her mane, but that ah have her eyes." She smiled a bit at her memories. " Mah Pa loved us with all his heart, he was real good fer' my brother and I, 'specialy Apple Bloom. But ah guess he just loved Ma way too much."

She frowned, I already knew where she was going with this, so I put a hoof on her shoulder. I guess it was the right thing to do because she smiled and carried on with the story.

"Eight months later, he got real sick and passed away durin' the winter. It caught us all by surprise, but we had to make due fer' Apple Bloom. Big Mac started working on the farm, and I had to work between' school and mah chores. It was really hard, but ah don't regret a single secon' of it." She gave a chuckle. "Apple Bloom turned out into a fine filly, ah found mah passion in life and made the greatest friends ah could ever hope for. Ah only hope that I made mah Ma and Pa proud of me." She sniffed a bit, letting out a few tears that she didn't realize she was holding.

I gave her a hug, and she started sobbing on my shoulder. I wonder how many years was she holding this in, it couldn't be healthy. We stayed like that for a few more minutes, I only dared to talk after she cried everything out.

"I never knew your parents Applejack. But I'm sure they are proud of the mare you have come to be."

She hugged me tighter, sobbing a bit more. "Thank you, thank you..."

Ah let go after a while, ah still don't believe how I acted back there. Nopony besides Granny or Big Mac saw me like that. Ah didn't even cry when Apple Bloom asked me about them, ah guess I was just actin' strong. Ah thanked Lightning fer what he did and left. We didn't exchange any more words, we already said what we had to.

Ah was makin' my way towards home, Ah promised myself that as soon as I got home, Ah would give AB an hug, even if she was already asleep. But Ah don't know what came over me, after I crossed the fence I made my way towards a special area of the Acres, one that I didn't go to in years, the one where Big Mac was always at, either restin' or workin'. I saw a very old apple tree, it didn't give any fruit now, but it was the largest around the entire farm. It was mah favorite apple tree fer one very special reason.

"Hi Ma. Hi Pa. Sorry fer' not visiting or anythin', Ah've just been real busy." Ah closed my eyes, listening to the wind.

"Oh AB's fine, she made lots of friends. Ah did too, I'm sure you'd love to meet them someday." The leaves stirred a bit.

"Ah know, Ah know. Ah promise to take a break every now n' then." Ah lied down with mah back on the tree, facing mah home.

"Ah hope ya don't mind I rest my eyes fer a little bit?" A small leaf fell on top of mah hat. Pa's Stetson hat. Ah chuckled. "Ah thought so, goodnight."

Ah fell asleep right there, right under a special heart shaped carving with mah parents initials.

"I don't know Pinkie, my parents were wonderful." Fluttershy said.

I was walking Fluttershy home, I couldn't stand seeing anypony sad, and Light's story was all saddy-waddy. I didn't like that Lighty went all meany-pants on my friends like that, but after that story I understood him. He was a lot like me really. Back on the farm I was sad all the time, I had no one to play with besides Inky and Blinky, but they were always sad too, so that made me even more sad... I sighed.

"Hey Flutters?" She looked at me. "My family was super-wonderful too, but I can't help but feel..." I wasn't feeling sad right now, why should I? I had Flutters, and Dashie, and Twily, and Rarity, and AJ, and the Cakes. And now I even had Lighty! But his eyes were so... "Sad."

"I know what you mean Pinkie. Did you see his eyes?" Fluttershy noticed too? "When he told us about the Manticore I couldn't help it, he just looked so heart-broken, like a..." Fluttershy pondered for a bit. "Like a puppy." I giggled, loud.

"A puppy!?" Fluttershy blushed, smiling a bit.

"Oh you know what I mean Pinkie." She nudged my foreleg. "I had never seen anypony so sad like that. Except for Applejack that is, but she always acts so strong..."

"I know Flutters..." We walked in silence for a while. "When I saw him on the hospital, he looked so hurt that I just couldn't stand it. I visited him for three days, waiting for him to wake up, just so I could make him happy. But when he did wake up, he just looked like anypony else. I didn't know what was wrong, I KNEW something was wrong but I didn't know what. Until tonight that is." I glanced at Fluttershy, she was smiling at me. I loved to see ponies smile.

"I just want to make everypony happy!" I said out loud, giggling a bit. Fluttershy giggled too.

"Hey Pinkie, I've been thinking. We never met your sisters."

GASP!

"I totally forgot about that! Oh I need to write them a letter right now! I'll also need to throw a party! So I need confetti, and balloons... OH! And I should totally invite everypony else's family! So I need invitations for the Apple family, for Twilight's brother, and Rarity, Dashie, an-"

"Don't forget about my parents Pinkie." Fluttershy said with a smile.

"Really!?" I hugged her. Fluttershy rarely talked about her family.

"Of course Pinkie, I'd love to see them again. And I'm sure they'd love to meet you."

"This is going to be the best day EVER!"

"I'm so stupid!"

I was flying at full speed, away from the library. I just wanted to go home and sleep.

In all my time here I'm yet to see a self-less action from you.

I felt a lump in my throat. Yeah Rainbow Dash, sleeping is the only thing you're good for.

I crashed through my bedroom window, since it was made of cloud it fixed itself in a matter of seconds. I just fell on my bed and started crying. I felt so bad for letting my friends down.

You shouldn't judge ponies on how they act!

I winced at that phrase and stopped my crying. He was right.

He may have been alone, but he turned out into a far better pony than I ever could be. Element of Loyalty my flank.

"I know why I act like this, it's my Dad's fault." I sighed, speaking to no one in particular.

"My parents loved me, and I loved them back. They called me 'their little angel'." I smiled, I loved that nickname, even if it was sappy.

"My Mom loved me with all her heart, and so did Dad, but I always felt something was different. He taught me how to fly, taught me how to play Hoofball, he even took me to all those Wonderbolt shows." I smiled, I loved those memories.

"I first knew something was wrong with me, in my first day at Flight camp. I was different from the other fillies. Instead of dolls I preferred a good game of Hoofball. Instead of dresses I'd ruin my mane in a race." I sighed. "I was more of a colt than a filly."

"I never told them anything, but I knew my father always wanted a son instead of a daughter. So I guess he forgot that I was a filly and raised me like that. I don't blame him or anything, I just hope that he didn't see me a son." I sighed again, and felt somepony touch me in my hind leg. I yelped and glared at whoever it was.

"Tank..." I picked him up and started stroking his shell.

"I guess I did that to you, didn't I buddy?" I faced him towards me, his slow smile making me giggle.

"Yeah." I felt the lump in my throat coming back. "I'm sorry buddy." I hugged him.

If it wasn't for your damn pride you could see how much hurt you were causing to others.

I started crying again, hugging Tank harder.

"I guess I'm hopeless, ain't I?" Tank looked at me, and then slowly to my bedside table.

I saw a small postcard, so I picked it up. It was the same one that Scootaloo gave me when I was in the hospital. It said.

For the greatest flier EVER!

Get well soon Rainbow Dash.

From your #1 Fan

Scootaloo

I let a small tear stain the postcard.

"I guess I need to make it up to you, right pipsqueak?"

Soon after I stopped sobbing, I fell asleep still hugging Tank, with a smile on my face. I'll try to find Scootaloo tomorrow, I have a lot to make up for.

"You really did it this time Rarity..."

I had just arrived home, my boutique was clean so Sweetie Belle either behaved properly, or cleaned up before bed. I made my way towards my bedroom, I still couldn't believe how I lost my composure back there. And Lightning was pretty rude. Nopony, besides Applejack that is, EVER talked to me like that.

I just don't think you appreciate the things you have...

"It's true!" I collapsed on my bed, speaking quietly so Sweetie Belle wouldn't wake up. "Lightning spend his whole life only with the essentials, and here I am!" I gestured around me. "Living in a fabulous home with everything I could ever need!"

I mulled on that sentence a few more minutes, I don't think he meant it like that.

I got up and looked around my room, in the corner was a mannequin with a very special necklace. I levitated it towards me. It was Spike's Fire Ruby. I gasped and hold back a tear.

"Spike loves me, not for my looks" I seriously hope that I'm right about that "but for who I am." I thought about the little guy for a while, even though I appreciate his crush for me, it wouldn't be right to lead him on. Soon, I'll have to tell him my true feelings for him. I just hope that we can stay good friends.

As I looked deep into the fire ruby, I caught an reflection, I looked towards my wall and gasped. I lift the necklace back towards the mannequin, and took from the wall Sweetie Belle's drawing. As I looked at those two unicorns I started crying. I loved Sweetie Belle with all my heart, I didn't know what I would do if I lost her.

I made a mental note to properly apologize and thank Lightning later, but for now I had another thing to do.

I carefully dropped the drawing on my bed, and made my way towards Sweetie Belle's room. When I got there I found her fast asleep, cuddling a small teddy bear I made for her. I held back some tears of joy and sat down besides her, lightly stroking her mane.

After a few minutes of silently appreciating my luck of having a sister, she woke up.

"Ra-Rarity? I thought you were at a party..." She mumbled, still drowsy.

"Oh I'm sorry I woke you up sweetie, I got here a few minutes ago actually." I mentally slapped myself for waking her up.

"It's ok sis." She yawned, how cute. "So did you have a nightmare? You look like you've been crying."

"Oh, no Sweetie Belle, I jus-"

"It's okay Rarity, I also have nightmare's sometimes." She moved a bit, getting away from me. "You can sleep here tonight if you want." I fought back some tears, I just love her so much.

"Thank you sweetie."

I gave her a kiss on her forehead, and we cuddled together. I can't believe how lucky I am to have such a wonderful little sister.

I made my way back into the library, a bit moved by Applejack's story.

Inside, near a now lit up fireplace was Twilight, holding two cups of what I assumed to be hot cocoa.

"I figured we'd have some hard time sleeping tonight, so I made us some hot cocoa." She grinned levitating a cup for me. "I hope you don't mind, but they always help me after a long study session."

I just smiled, taking the cup from the air. "A cup of cocoa sounds nice."

We both lied down in front of the fireplace, quietly enjoying each other's presence.

Twilight told me stories about her adventures, and asked me some questions about Trixie. I told her some funny things that I remembered, also some of my own adventures. Like that time where a Dragon almost ate me for entering his lair.

We talked for about an hour, then Twilight walked me into her room and showed me my bed. Spike was sleeping in a basket next to her, so Twilight and I were the only ones awake at the time.

After she got under her covers, she caught me staring at her. The moon was showing her features, her horn, her mane and her eyes were glowing. She blushed and smiled a bit.

"W-What?" She lifted the covers a bit, to try and hide her blush. I chuckled a bit, she actually looked cute.

"Nothing, just... Thanks." I caught a small nod from her, so I turned to my side and closed my eyes.

After a few seconds she did the same.

I'm sure that Twilight and Trixie would become great friends. All I needed to do is push them in the right direction.

I smiled and went to sleep.

Tomorrow is going to be a great day.

End of Chapter 15

So...

Am I forgiven?

Did I make you "Dawww"?

Now for the Hype. *Ahem*

It seems like everything went better than expected, who would have known that some harsh words could bring out the best in some ponies.

But sometimes, they only hide the worst in others.

Was their friendship fixed or destroyed?

Find out in the next chapter of...

Will of Fire!