The Amazingly Awesome Adventures of Tank the Tortoise (by R. Dash)

by Bradel

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Tank, Rainbow Dash
Length: 15375

What happens when Rainbow Dash runs out of books to read? The coolest thing that CAN happen, of course! She starts writing stories of her own.

<Set before S3E09, "Spike at Your Service"> Rainbow Dash has a problem. She's done reading the last of the "Daring Do" novels, and the next one isn't set to be published until the summer. She tells her troubles to Tank, and in the process realizes that if other ponies can't write fast enough to keep her reading, then maybe she should try her hoof at writing stories of her own. They say to write what you know, and Rainbow Dash certainly does know adventure. But writing about yourself isn't very cool. Tank, on the other hand, is awesome enough to deserve stories of his own, only nopony knows that. Yet.
— Featured on Equestria Daily.

Published 2013-01-28 13:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-08 04:20:25 UTC

Chapter 1 – Attack of the Dragon!

A resounding crash echoed around the bedroom, prompting Tank to lift his head and stare at his owner.

"This is soo not cool!" Rainbow Dash glared at the book she'd just slammed shut. The last of the Adventures of Daring Do. Twilight said there'd be another one out this summer, but what was Dash supposed to do until then? "That's all of them, Tank. Do you know what that means?" She stared at the tortoise very hard, to make sure he understood her point.

"There. Aren't. Any. More."

She flung herself back onto the sheets with a groan, staring up at the ceiling. Tank floated into view, giving her a concerned look. He landed on the bed and she sat up so she could talk to him better.

"This is the least cool thing since..." Rainbow Dash paused a moment to consider. "Since ever, Tank."

The tortoise nodded in understanding.

Rainbow Dash peered at the spine of the last book, tracing her hoof along the name there. "Why can't this A.K. Yearling – whoever she is – why can't she write faster!?"

The tortoise shrugged. Well, Dash thought he shrugged – sometimes it was hard to tell with a tortoise – but that's what she would have done if she were him. It was the only response that made sense.

"She has to know everypony's waiting for the next book, right. If I can learn to fly faster, she oughtta be able to learn to write faster. Uggh!"

Tank paused for a moment, looking thoughtful, before he replied. "..."

"Wait! Yeah! I'm the fastest pony in Ponyville. I'll bet I can write fast, too! It can't be too hard, right? I mean, I've had all sorts of awesome adventures. If anypony knows how to tell a story, it's Rainbow Dash!"

Tank whirred into the air and licked her on the cheek.

Blushing, Rainbow Dash tried not to look at the tortoise. "Okay. If I'm gonna write, I'm gonna need to find some paper and ink." She bounced off her bed and into the air, already beginning to plan.

———————————————————————————————————

The Amazingly Awesome Adventures of Tank the Tortoise

By R. Dash

Chapter 1 – Attack of the Dragon!

It was a dark and cloudy morning, and Tank the tortoise was about to save the life of Opal the cat.

She had been visiting Tank's stately cloud mansion and watching his awesome stunt flying practice. But a gust of wind had caught her and knocked her off the edge of the clouds, and now she was falling toward the ground at an alarming speed. Only Tank could save her now.

The tortoise snugged his goggles tight and turned his propeller to overdrive, speeding after Opal almost fast enough to make a sonic rainboom. She was dropping fast, but Tank knew that he was the fastest tortoise in ~~Ponyville~~ Equestria, and there was no way he'd let her hit the ground. He picked up speed, zooming in closer and closer. Opal yelped when she saw him, but he stuck out his legs and she grabbed on to him like a scared pony after a ghost story.

"Never fear, my dear Opal." Tank smiled down at the cat, who was beaming at him. "I'll always be there to save you." He slowed his descent and finally set Opal back on the ground. Tank sped into two vertical loops himself before landing next to Opal, just to make sure his fans weren't disappointed to miss out on watching his awesome flying.

"Oh, Tank, thank you!" Opal leaned in to kiss Tank on the cheek. "I was so scared!"

Tank laughed courageously. "There's no need to be afraid with Tank around. You can't think I'd let you get hurt, can you Opal?"

The white cat blushed. "Of course not, Tank. You're right, like always."

The tortoise gave Opal a benevolent smile and threw his arm around her shoulders. But just as he was about to suggest they could go somewhere for a nice, romantic dinner, Gummy the alligator came running up.

"Tank! It's awful! You have to come quick!"

Tank the tortoise sighed with regret. Sometimes being awesome meant you had to put your friends first, even when you wanted to do something else. "What is it, Gummy?"

The alligator's big purple eyes rolled nervously. "Over in the Everfree Forest, Tank! It's heading straight for Ponyville, knocking down trees and everything." He took a big breath. "It's... It's a DRAGON!"

Tank turned toward the forest and narrowed his eyes. His mouth drew tight with determination.
"Well then, it's time to get DANGEROUS!"

And with a fierce gust of wind from his propeller, he bolted into the air and began speeding toward the forest.

———————————————————————————————————

Rainbow Dash raised a hoof to her forehead, wiping away a few drops of sweat. Okay, maybe writing was harder than she thought. But she could still write fast! That had only taken her half an hour, and with practice she KNEW she could do better.

Tank sat beside her on the bed again, watching as she worked. He looked interested, right? Anyway, this story was going to be absolutely cool. Tank would love it.

"You wanna hear what I got so far, buddy?"

The tortoise nodded his head dutifully, and Rainbow Dash settled back against the headboard, reading aloud.

Chapter 2 – Tank to the Rescue!

Rainbow Dash laid on a small white cloud, her papers spread out in front of her. She chewed idly on the nib of a quill, staring at her work. She had to admit, writing was much harder than she had expected. Dash thought she might be able to excuse the author of the Daring Do books – a little – for taking so long to write them. A shadow crept over the papers as she read them, but Rainbow Dash was too engrossed to notice.

"Maybe if Tank had brought the... Hmm..." she muttered to herself, scribbling at the end of the last sheet.

"What'cha doin!?"

No! Rainbow Dash looked over her shoulder, eyes wide. Pinkie Pie was floating behind her with a raft of balloons tied around the pink pony's midsection. Dash turned back to the pages and, lightning-fast, piled them all up, turned around, and sat on them to keep them out of view.

"Oh, h-hi Pinkie." Dash tried to give her friend a smile.

Pinkie Pie's head was cocked to the side, like some sort of predatory bird watching its prey. "You're writing something!" A huge grin split her face. "I'll bet it's something super spifferooni, isn't it? Are you writing to Princess Celestia about when you went camping with Scootaloo and saved her from that hungry pack of EEVIL squirrels?"

Rainbow Dash blinked. "Pinkie, there wasn't any pack of—"

"Ooh, ooh! Is it a story?" Pinkie looked like she was trying to hop up and down, but with the balloons holding her in the air, she didn't really move. "Can I read it?"

"No!" Dash snapped. "It's not for—" She caught herself and blushed a little, digging at the cloud with her hoof. "I mean... it's not... ready yet. I'm still making it cooler. I can't let anypony read it until it's totally cool." With a nervous laugh, Rainbow Dash scratched the back of her mane.

"Oh, okay. I guess." Pinkie sounded disappointed. For about five seconds. "Hey Rainbow Dash, do you want to go to the lake and go swimming?" Her grin was whiter than the clouds.

Rainbow Dash stared down at the corner of one of the pages sticking out from under her and chewed on her lip. Well, maybe I'll just save these for tonight. I can read them to Tank and see if he has any suggestions. Dash looked up and nodded at Pinkie Pie. "Sure. I'll meet you there in fifteen minutes?"

———————————————————————————————————

The Amazingly Awesome Adventures of Tank the Tortoise

By R. Dash

Chapter 2 – Tank to the Rescue!

Tank the tortoise could see the spiky red head of the dragon bobbing above the trees of the Everfree Forest as it approached Ponyville. Smoke poured from its nostrils and its red eyes burned with hate. Tank knew not all dragons were evil – his friend Spike was proof of that – but this one looked like bad news.

As Tank flew forward as fast as he could, the dragon roared and breathed a huge jet of flame into the air. Tank tightened his goggles and gathered his courage. The dragon noticed him and gave a dismissive laugh that a tortoise, flying or not, would try to get in its way. But it didn't know Tank.

Pulling his legs and his head into his shell, Tank turned his propeller to overdrive and rocketed forward. The tortoise's shell slammed into the dragon's face, right between the eyes, and the blow seemed to give the creature pause. Backing up so the dragon could see him, Tank came out of his shell and used the Royal Canterlot Voice he'd learned from Princess Luna when he'd gone to train in the secret arts of the rulers of Equestria. "FOUL CREATURE! TURN BACK NOW, OR I WILL BE FORCED TO HURT YOU AND HUMILIATE YOU IN FRONT OF ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS!"

For a moment, even the dragon looked shocked by the power of the little tortoise's voice. But his heart was set on rampaging through Ponyville, and he wasn't going to give up that easily. "Puny turtle," he laughed. "How do you think you can stop Grogmarch the Destroyer?"

Tank's eyes narrowed, and his voice got dangerously quiet. "You called me a turtle. Nobody calls me a turtle."

Hurtling forward at the speed of awesomeness, Tank tucked in his legs and opened his jaws wide. He crashed into the snout of Grogmarch before the dragon could react, and his jaws snapped shut fiercely. (Tortoises have a really strong bite!)

The dragon howled in pain and tossed its head, trying to dislodge the tortoise, but Tank was trained in the arts of combat and not so easily dealt with. When he saw his chance, he let go of the dragon's nose and dived toward his soft belly scales. Tucking himself into his shell again, he slammed into Grogmarch's diaphragm. The dragon hiccuped a huge gout of flame and then found itself gasping for breath. Finally, Tank inverted himself and used his propeller to drive his body up into the dragon's chin like a magically motorized hoof. One nice thing about being a flying tortoise with a propeller was that you didn't have to worry about pesky things tortoises usually worried about, like being upside down.

Grogmarch roared in frustration and sent a burst of flame in Tank's direction, which he easily avoided. The dragon howled again, but he knew when he was beaten. He turned and began to slink back into the Everfree Forest.

Tank turned and flew back to the edge of the forest. He found Opal and Gummy there, panting hard with the exertion of running across Ponyville after him. He landed, pulling his goggles up to rest on his forehead and giving them both his coolest smile.

"Oh Tank," Opal cooed. "That was magnificent! I've never seen flying like that before in my life!"

"Yeah, Tank, that was sooo cool!" Gummy rolled his eyes around in excitement. "I knew you were awesome, but I've never seen ANYONE who could do that to a dragon! What would Ponyville do if we didn't have you!?"

"I'm sure you'd figure something out, Gummy." Tank chuckled at the look of incredulity on the little alligator's face. "But don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. As long as I'm around, the residents of Ponyville will always be able to sleep safe at night."

The end. For now.

———————————————————————————————————

Tank grinned at Rainbow Dash from his seat on her bed, later that night.

"So whaddaya think, buddy? Good story?" She squared up the pages she'd just read him and set them on her nightstand with the first part of the story.

Tank's eyes narrowed a little as he thought about it. Finally he replied. "..."

Dash sighed. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. Daring Do always has lots of adventures. She could beat up a dragon, sure, but she does so much more than that too! Like find treasure, and escape danger, and her enemies are always harder to beat." Tank listened patiently as Rainbow Dash thought it through.

"But I really like this story, don't you? Yeah, I thought so." She grinned. "It was a lot of fun to write, too. But the next one... the next one's gotta be cooler. It's gotta have more awesomeness in it. Like danger and mummies and... ooh, I know, and magic!"

Rainbow Dash got out a fresh sheet of paper and started scribbling down notes. She and Tank had another adventure to plan!

Chapter 3 – The League of Equestrian Defenders!

"Sooo..." Pinkie took a deep breath. "Can-I-read-it? Can-I-read-it? Can-I-read-it?"

Rainbow Dash tried to ignore Pinkie's insistent chant by browsing through the treats on display in the Cake family's bakery. In the end, though, she could only look at so many pies and cookies. It might not be as cool as a sonic rainboom, but even Dash had to admit that Pinkie's manic exuberance had a certain awesome invincibility to it. No one could hold out forever against a concerted barrage of, well, Pinkitude.

That's a good word, she thought to herself. Might wanna save that one for later.

"I dunno, Pinkie... It might not be the kind of story that you like."

Pinkie Pie blinked. "Are you kidding me? How am I not going to like a story written by one of my friends!?" And then a mischievous smile stole across her face. "Unless you're telling me," she drawled, "that it's not cool enough for somepony else to read."

Dash's head whipped around. "Of course it's cool! Cool enough for anypony to read it! You're talking to the coolest pony in all of Ponyville, aren't you!?"

Pinkie Pie smiled and held out her hoof expectantly.

"Oh fine," Rainbow Dash muttered, plucking out the pages she'd been carrying since she'd finished them last night. She held them out toward Pinkie. "But in return, you have to help me pick out the awesomest cake in the store for Scootaloo's birthday tomorrow. I'm gonna make sure that filly has the best birthday ever, Rainbow Dash style."

Pinkie Pie nodded along, though she didn't really seem to be listening anymore. She'd grabbed the pages right off of Dash's hoof and was now pouring through them.

"Did you hear me, Pinkie? I want to make sure th—"

"Ohmigosh, ohmigosh, ohmigosh! You put Gummy in your story!?" Pinkie was bouncing up and down on all four hooves now, looking ecstatic. "Dashie, you're the best!"

A grin erupted on Rainbow Dash's face. "Well, I figured I had to put Tank's frien—"

"Ohmigosh! And he sounds just like he does when he talks to me!"

Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to respond, but found herself momentarily dumbstruck. She narrowed her eyes and gave the other pony a glare. "Pinkie, Gummy can't... Oh, nevermind."

Pinkie Pie stood in silence for another two minutes, flying through the pages of the story. At the end, she spent a full minute staring at the last page. She looked unusually serious. "Ya know what this needs?" Pinkie tapped her hoof on the pages she held. "More characters." She folded the pages and held them out for Rainbow Dash.

Dash scratched at the ground with one of her hooves. "Does that mean... you didn't like it?"

"Of course I liked it, silly!" Pinkie giggled like that was the most ridiculous idea she'd heard. "But it's your first story, right? ...I think you just need to trust me on this. You need more characters."

Taking the pages back from Pinkie, Rainbow Dash gave her friend an unusually shy smile. "So it really is cool?"

Pinkie giggled again. "Yes, it's cool. Just remember to put some more characters in your next story. And maybe give 'em a bit more development." And in the blink of an eye, she was back to full Pinkitude. "Now should we find a cake for Scootaloo? I think I know one that'll be super-ooper-duper yummy!"

———————————————————————————————————

The Amazingly Awesome Adventures of Tank the Tortoise

By R. Dash

Chapter 3 – The League of Equestrian Defenders!

The secret underground hallway below the library was lit by rows of glowing blue gemstones. Tank knew the way well enough to walk it in his sleep, but he was still excited. Being called here meant there was an adventure in the making.

At the end of the hallway, two towering oak doors stood open. The interior of the room beyond was lost in shadow. Tank walked inside, already knowing what to expect.

The doors swung shut behind him and small green gems encircling the room began to glow softly, revealing a figure seated at a large mahogany desk at it's center. The figure sat with his fingers steepled before him, clicking and clacking his claws together.

"Tank, just the tortoise I wanted to see," Spike the dragon rumbled in his low, authoritative voice. "We've got a job for you. The sort of work that needs someone with your... expertise."

Tank raised his arm in a military-style salute. "Sir. I'm always happy to help the League in whatever way I'm able."

Spike nodded approvingly. "In the last few weeks we've gotten some disturbing reports from the White Tail Woods. An entire troop of Filly Scouts has gone missing. And there are rumors of a..." Spike paused for a moment, clacking his claws together dramatically. "A giant orange tower hidden away in the darkest reaches of the forest."

Tank drew an involuntary breath. "The Carrot Citadel? Does this mean Dr. Angelbunny has finally returned, then?"

"We believe so, yes." Spike let out a low, rumbling sigh. "The League has been dreading this day. You know how much it cost us to defeat him the last time he appeared. We can't afford to take the sorts of losses we took back then."

Tank the tortoise was silent for a moment, remembering the good agents that had been lost in that fateful battle. Spike, too, seemed lost in somber reflection, until a loud bark broke through the silence.

"Ah, yes," Spike's white teeth flashed in the light of the glowing emeralds. "The League wants you to take a partner for this mission. As much as we trust your abilities, Tank, if this really is Dr. Angelbunny we can't afford to take any chances."

Tank didn't protest. He didn't like having to work with a partner, but Spike was right. They couldn't risk a lone agent getting caught and being unable to report back on the situation.

"Winona is a new agent, but she's already distinguished herself as one of our hardest-working assets," Spike continued. "She's studied up on all your old missions, and she's fully briefed on everything we've been able to learn about Dr. Angelbunny since his last appearance. She has our full confidence in her ability to assist you on this mission."

A small brown-and-white dog emerged from the darkness behind the dragon and gave the tortoise a sharp salute. "Tank, sir. It is an honor to be working with an agent of your stature."

Spike cleared his throat. "There'll be time for you two to exchange pleasantries on the train to Los Pegasus. You both know how much I'm counting on you in this."

Both Tank and Winona nodded to the dragon. "We won't fail you, Spike. Let the Keepers of the Elements know they can rely on us," Tank said.

———————————————————————————————————

Rainbow Dash frowned at the page in front of her. Pinkie was right. Having more characters, and spending more time talking about them, really did make her story more awesome. But she'd put so much effort into having lots of action in the last two chapters. How could less action and more talking make her story more awesome? It didn't seem to make any sense.

Then again, what Pinkie Pie said rarely made any sense, even if it was often right.

Tank buzzed around the room while she worked, chasing a moth that must have wandered in when it saw the lights of Dash's bedroom. She'd need to read it to him and see what he thought. She hoped he'd be okay with the idea of Tank taking a partner. It was always cooler to be a loner hero working on your own, but... An image of Pinkie Pie floated into Dash's head. But sometimes working together with a partner gave the best results.

Chapter 4 – Ninjas on a Train!

The fireplace was lit in Pinkie Pie's room above Sugarcube Corner. With Tank beside her, Rainbow Dash lay on the floor in front of the fire, enjoying the warmth as Pinkie read her latest chapter. Her eyes began to droop closed. It was just so comfortable here.

"Aww." Pinkie sighed. "No Gummy this time?"

Rainbow Dash blinked her eyes, fighting against sleep. "Mmmm? Oh, did you finish reading, Pinkie?"

"Yup!" The pink pony grinned, bounding up from her bed with the new pages in hoof. She came over to lie by the fire with Dash, putting the story down in front of her. "But you didn't write anything new about Gummy...."

"Oh. Yeah, sorry Pinkie. I just felt like, y'know, I should give some other characters a shot. You did say to put in more characters." Rainbow Dash yawned.

"It's okay. So, anyway. Rainbow Dash? Are you awake?" Pinkie's voice was starting to become a blur past the edge of Rainbow Dash's senses. She thought she could feel something prodding against her shoulder, but maybe it was her imagination. The fire was so comfortable. This was like laying on a whole cloud stuffed full of sunshine. Rainbow Dash wished she could get a fireplace in her own home, but she didn't think clouds were made for holding fires well. That was okay. She could just come visit her friend at Sucarcu—

Why did it feel like somepony had just folded her face in a very tight, wet towel?

"RAAAINBOW DAAASH!"

The eyes of the blue pegasus shot open wide, and found themselves staring into two huge purple orbs. Her wings tried to shoot her into the air, but the motion wound up as an ungainly flop onto her back. "Mrkmrrm Mrr! MRKMRRM!" She tried to yell back at Pinkie, but Gummy was clamped onto her face so firmly that she couldn't get her mouth open.

Pinkie calmly reached over and plucked the little alligator off of her face. Rainbow Dash sat up panting, her eyes still as wide as teacups. "What–! Pinkie–! Why did–! Aaagh, I'm all slimy now!"

Giggling quietly, Pinkie Pie offered Dash a towel. "You fell asleep on me, Rainbow Dash. I thought you wanted help with your story. I can't help you if you're asleep, silly."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean... Eeew! Pinkie!" Rainbow Dash scrubbed her face with the towel. After a few moments of cleaning herself off, Dash finally started to get her composure back. Her eyes darted around the room and found Gummy. The smug little alligator looked totally unperturbed. She did her best to transfix him with a glare, but Gummy didn't seem to notice.

"Don'cha want to know what I think!?" Even sitting on the floor, Pinkie was able to bounce up and down.

"Oh. Oh! Yeah, the story! Was it awesome!?"

"Yup!" Pinkie giggled. "Much better than last time. Not that last time wasn't awesome too. But this was much better." She peered at the pages for a moment. "Though... I really liked the action you put into your first story. Maybe you can try to put some more of that back in? Remember, characters first. That's the most important. But your readers wi— I mean, stories are always cooler if they have a little bit of action in them too."

Rainbow Dash frowned in thought. "That sounds kinda hard, Pinkie. Characters and action?"

"You can do it!" Pinkie gave her a wide smile. "Just spend some time thinking about the scene you want to tell next. See if you can find a way to develop your characters while they're doing something more active than standing around talking."

"I dunno Pinkie. But I guess I'll try..."

———————————————————————————————————

The Amazingly Awesome Adventures of Tank the Tortoise

By R. Dash

Chapter 4 – Ninjas on a Train!

The train was rumbling through a long valley between two mountains when the white rabbit waiter arrived at Tank and Winona's room with dinner. Winona had apple fritters while Tank dined on leaf-flavored cupcakes.

"You and Commander Spike go way back, don't you sir?"

Tank grunted stoically. He might be saddled with a partner, but that didn't mean he had to like it. Tank the tortoise was a loose cannon, and he wouldn't let Winona's by-the-book attitude keep him from doing his job.

"Sir, do you have a plan for locating the Carrot Cita—"

All the lights in the train car blinked out, and Tank felt something metallic ping off his shell. Immediately, he threw himself across the room and tackled Winona to the ground. The brown-and-white dog gasped, but Tank threw one hand over her mouth to silence her.

Winona nodded in understanding and reached into her purse, pulling out two sets of night-vision goggles. Tank took one, exchanging it with his normal flying goggles. Staying low, Tank crept to the door of the compartment he shared with Winona. He poked his head out quickly to look around, and then pulled it back into his shell as another metal projectile whizzed by.

"Who is it?" Winona asked worriedly.

"Ninja-bunnies," Tank growled. "Stay here, Winona. I'll handle this."

Tank tensed, preparing to dash out into the corridor, but Winona rested a paw on his shell to stop him. "No, sir. We do this together."

Tank hesitated a moment before nodding. "All right. You take the ones on the right and I'll deal with the ones on the left."

Winona nodded, and on a three-count the pair rushed out into the corridor. The train left little room to maneuver for a flying tortoise, so Tank was forced to fight in the style of his forebearers. Sighting a clump of ninja-bunnies clustered down the corridor, Tank ran forward and kicked off with his left foot a moment before tucking his head and all his limbs into his shell. The shell rocketed along the ground, spinning faster and faster until it crashed into the cluster of ninja-bunnies. As the rabbits went flying, Tank came out of his shell and assumed the Tiger Stance. Down the corridor in the opposite direction, he could hear the high-pitched screams of the rabbits facing Winona.

"Tank the tortoise," came a squeaky voice from the shadows. "Thou wouldst quake in terror, shouldst thou know the plans our glorious master has lain for thee!"

Tank turned to face the voice, and a black rabbit clothed all in white ninja clothes stepped out of the darkness. "Rochefort! You traitor! We thought you were killed in the explosion at the rainbow factory. If Spike saw you now, serving Angelbunny, his heart would weep!"

"DOCTOR Angelbunny, my esteemed Tank. Thou and thy companion wouldst do best to grant thy new master the respect he is due." Rochefort cackled. "But the time for games is at an end. Minions! Come, we return to the Citadel!" And with a puff of smoke, the black rabbit vanished.

Winona came running up behind him, panting. "Sir! Who were those rabbits!?"

"Minions of Dr. Angelbunny," Tank growled. "Our worst fears have been proven true. Winona, take a letter. 'Dear Commander Spike....'"

———————————————————————————————————

Rainbow Dash finished reading the new passage to Tank. He grinned up at her, but he usually did that whenever she gave him any sort of attention. Was he enjoying these stories? She hoped he was. "What do you think, buddy?"

In response, Tank's propeller whirred on and he hopped up to lick her cheek. Rainbow Dash couldn't help but giggle a little. "I hope Pinkie likes this one too. She seems really good at this kind of thing." Dash didn't understand why Pinkie would know any more than anypony else about writing, but she'd always had a very good memory for names and dates. Maybe she knew more than that, too. It was weird to think that Pinkie, in her way, might be as much of an egghead as Twilight Sparkle. But thanks to them, even Rainbow Dash liked reading and writing now. Having friends who were eggheads was kind of nice, sometimes.

Not that she'd let anypony hear her say that out loud. She had a reputation to maintain.

Chapter 5 – Into the Carrot Citadel!

The crackling of the fire and the scritch-scritching of quill on paper were the only noises in Pinkie Pie's room above the bakery. But Rainbow Dash, staring listlessly at the pages in front of her, wasn't the one writing.

Dash had to admit, reluctantly, that Pinkie's room was a much better place to write. Oh, Rainbow Dash had plenty of room to work at home. And a great view overlooking Ponyville. That sort of thing was supposed to be inspirational, wasn't it? But Pinkie's room is just so... So...

"Aargh!" She clapped her hooves against her temples. "I can't even find the words to finish my own thoughts!"

Rainbow Dash had writer's block. And she had it like... Like...

"Aargh!"

The scritch-scritch continued for a few moments more before Pinkie put her quill and paper aside. She gave her friend a consoling pat on the back. "Don't worry, Dashie. You'll get past it soon, I promise." She bounded up from her seat, suddenly full of exuberance. "I know what you need! CUPCA—"

The loud rapping of a hoof against the downstairs door cut her short. And then Pinkie's eyes took on a glint and her mouth split into a monstrous grin. "Or we could see who that is!" She bounced down the stairs while Rainbow Dash stared after her in stunned silence. Despite years of being friends with Pinkie Pie, Dash still didn't understand how anypony could switch gears so fast.

A low buzz of voices echoed from the base of the stairs, and then Pinkie was bounding back into the room with Twilight Sparkle trailing behind. That manic grin was still fixed on the pink pony's face. "I hope you don't mind. I invited Twilight over to look at your story. I thought maybe she could help you find some new ideas so you can start writing again!"

Twilight scratched her mane nervously, shooting Rainbow Dash a weak grin. "Well, maybe... I'm not nearly as good as Pin—"

"Ohmigosh! Pinkie, that's the best idea ever!" Rainbow Dash bolted into the air and began dragging Twilight toward the table. The purple pony looked like she wanted to protest, but one look at the hungry desperation on Dash's face silenced her. Once Twilight was safely seated with Tank's adventures in front of her, Rainbow Dash flew over to the fireplace and leaned against the mantel. She tried her best to project an air of unconcerned nonchalance. She managed to keep from gnawing on her hooves, at least.

As Pinkie Pie gathered up her own writing to put it away, Twilight quietly surveyed the pages of Dash's story. From time to time, the purple pony stopped to laugh at something she'd read. She took a good deal longer than Pinkie had to finish, and by the end Dash was starting to feel a rush of anxiety. She did her best to hide it. As Twilight looked up, Rainbow Dash put on her bravest face. "Pretty awesome, right!?"

Twilight's smile was so innocent, it pared away Dash's facade. "Yes, Rainbow, it is pretty awesome. It's not perfect – it's pretty easy to tell you're new at this – but it's exciting and fun to read. I like it. Though..." She drew out the word to three times its usual length. "I was a bit disappointed that you didn't put Owlowiscious in the story."

"Ah. Well. About that." Rainbow Dash laughed nervously. "I... haven't really figured out how to include him yet. Tank already has a boss, and an enemy, and a partner, and a girlfriend, and a sidekick. I don't really know where I could put him in."

Pinkie's voice exploded beside Rainbow Dash. "How about as a space explorer who's really Tank's long lost brother, only he's really really a secret member of an ancient cult that worships King Sombra and he's here to convince Dr. Angelbunny to fund an underground fortress where the cult can work on resurrecting their dark lord and plot the destruction of Equestria!?"

"Umm. Pinkie, don't you think that might... unbalance Rainbow's story a little?"

Rainbow Dash, who had been nodding along to Pinkie's idea, turned to Twilight Sparkle with a mix of surprise and confusion. "Would it? I thought that sounded like an awesome idea."

Pinkie sighed, deflating a little. "No, Twilight's right. You should focus on the story you've been setting up with Dr. Angelbunny. Don't try to add too much to that just now. Stick to what you know, and all."

"Anyway Pinkie," Twilight broke in, "wasn't that basically what you said you w—"

"So!" Pinkie bounced into action again, shoving Dash back toward the purple pony and the table. "Do you have any advice for how Rainbow Dash can get past her writer's block, Twilight?"

"Pinkie... Did you tell Twilight about that, too?" Rainbow Dash knew she sounded embarrassed, but she couldn't help it. "I thought that was just between... I mean... It's just so uncool."

Twilight Sparkle gave her another one of those innocent smiles, and Dash sighed inwardly. Sometimes it was hard to make yourself worry about your image when your friends insisted on being so darn accepting. "Don't worry so much, Rainbow. Everypony gets writer's block from time to time. Just think about what you need to have happen next in your story, and try to start writing. Even if it seems boring. You can always go back and fix it later, but you can't move forward unless you write something. So, what's going to happen to Tank next?"

"Well, he and Winona are gonna have to find the Carrot Citadel, I suppose."

"And how are they going to do that?" Twilight asked.

"I suppose if they..."

———————————————————————————————————

The Amazingly Awesome Adventures of Tank the Tortoise

By R. Dash

Chapter 5 – Into the Carrot Citadel!

The White Tail Woods were quiet. ~~Quiet like the grave.~~ ~~Quieter than a Canterlot garden party without croquet.~~ Too quiet.

Tank the tortoise, his shell covered with leafy green camouflage, crept through the undergrowth toward a hilltop overlooking the valley below. Winona followed him, making a bit of a racket. Dogs never understood the stealthiness advantages of moving slow. Nobody was stealthier than tortoises.

At the crest of the hill, Tank settled into a crouch and studied his target. An enormous orange spire rose above the treetops of the valley. It seemed to blot out the hopes of the world with its malevolent silhouette.

"Is that it, sir?" Winona had finally crawled alongside Tank, and now she was getting her first look at the imposing fortress of the nefarious Dr. Angelbunny.

"Of course that's it, Winona. Can you think of any other reason we'd find an enormous orange spire rising above the treetops of that valley and seeming to blot out the hopes of the world with its malevolent silhouette?"

The dog thought for a moment. "Discord?"

Tank shot his partner a glare. "That's... Be that as it may, yes Winona, that's Dr. Angelbunny's Carrot Citadel." He returned his intimidating gaze to the structure in the valley. "I'll never forget the look of that place. Not until the day I die. Not after the terror it caused the last time it appeared in Equestria."

A hooting sound alerted them to a presence overhead. In a flash, Tank rolled onto his shell and unholstered his gun, taking aim at the interloper. He only barely managed to stay his fire as a majestic-looking owl plummeted through the canopy of trees and landed in front of he and Winona. Owlowiscious.

"Owlowiscious, sir!" Winona couldn't stand at attention without skylining herself on the crest of the hill, so she did her best to lie down at attention. "I thought you were supposed to be adventuring in space."

Tank shot the dog yet another glare. "No, Winona, that was Pinkie's idea. We decided that wasn't going to work."

"So if he's not a space traveler, what is he?" Winona sounded a little puzzled.

"He's Commander Spike's elite messenger, capable of delivering missives to any member of the League, even when they're far behind enemy lines. He's one of the League's best agents."

"Is he still your brother, sir?"

Tank threw out his arm to point at Owlowiscious and growled at his partner in exasperation. "What do you think, Winona? He's an owl! And he's not a member of any ancient or secret cults, either." Tank turned to regard the owl, who had been listening to all of this very impassively. The tortoise narrowed his eyes. "You aren't, are you Owlowiscious?"

"As it would be a secret cult, Tank sir, I would not be at liberty to discuss it." The owl sounded like a dusty old librarian. "Notwithstanding that, I hope you will accept my heartfelt assurances that I am not a member of any such organization."

Winona looked satisfied. Tank muttered something noncommittal.

Owlowiscious cleared his throat. "In any event, sir, Commander Spike sends me to inform you that he has received your missive regarding the attack on the train, and that at this very moment the forces of the League are rushing to converge on your position so that we may capture Dr. Angelbunny before he has a chance to harvest the dark fruit of the many nefarious schemes he has surely begun to put into motion."

Finally, some good news after all this sneaking through the woods. "Understood. Owlowiscious, relay our position to Commander Spike and let him know we'll begin the attack on the citadel ourselves. With any luck, that will distract them enough that he can bring his forces in undetected and surprise Dr. Angelbunny with a full-scale assault."

As Owlowiscious launched himself into the air, Winona stared at Tank incredulously. "Tank, sir? That's... that's against all regulations, sir! Commander Spike could have our hides for this! Who knows what the Keepers of the Elements would say!?"

"And what do you think, Winona? Do you want to wait for all our forces to get into position, and risk Dr. Angelbunny learning that we plan to attack him? You know what happened the last time we went up against Angelbunny. Spike said you'd studied the old missions. What do you think we should do?"

Winona frowned in thought. Clearly, she had never expected to face the question herself. But snap decision-making was what separated the good agents from the great ones, and Tank had seen her quality for himself back on the train. At last, she spoke.

"Let's go get the bastard, sir."

"Excellent choice, Winona." Tank tightened his goggles and fired up his propeller. "Well then, it's time to get DANGEROUS!" And with a fierce gust, he sped toward the orange monstrosity on the valley floor, Winona racing alongside him.

———————————————————————————————————

Pinkie looked impressed as Rainbow Dash gave her the new pages. "Dashie, this is the longest one yet! I thought you had writer's block!"

"Well, y'know... Once I got started, the writing was easier. It was just hard to get through that first bit." As Rainbow Dash spoke, she could see Twilight nodding in sympathy. "And it helped that I got some awesome new ideas while I was writing it!"

Pinkie and Twilight laid the pages out on the table and started reading. Rainbow Dash felt a brief pang of sadness. Before, she'd always shared her stories with Tank before anypony else. But this was just one chapter. Tank wouldn't mind missing out just this once, right?

Pinkie started giggling at the pages, and a moment later Twilight joined in. As they read on, the laughter got louder.

Rainbow Dash frowned at the pair. "Hey you two, what's so funny? The story's supposed to be awesome. If you guys are laughing at me, that's seriously not cool." She couldn't quite keep the hurt out of her voice.

Pinkie Pie's eyes were glistening with tears of amusement when she looked up at Rainbow Dash. "Oh, Dashie. You didn't just break the fourth wall, you destroyed it!" That prompted another burst of laughter from Twilight.

"The fourth... what?" Rainbow Dash couldn't keep the confusion off her face.

"It's when characters break out of the story and talk about the real world. It's called 'breaking the fourth wall.' I do it all the time." Twilight laughed some more, bobbing her head in agreement.

Rainbow Dash nodded along at Pinkie's explanation. Yeah, I did do that, didn't I? Wait a second... Dash turned to stare at Pinkie. "You what!?"

"In my stories, Dashie. My characters break the fourth wall all the time."

"I don't know why you won't just let me read your stories," Dash muttered. "It'd probably help me figure out a lot more about what I'm doing."

"Ahhh, I don't think they're really the kind of stories you'd like Rainbow Dash. They're a little different from what you write," Pinkie said. For some reason, Twilight Sparkle suddenly looked paler.

"Oh fine, oh fine." Dash sat back, sulking. "Anyway, can you two finish up? I want to take these pages back to Tank so I can read him the new story too."

Tank would never laugh at her writing.

Chapter 6 – The Evil Lair of Dr. Angelbunny!

The light of a lone candle held back the darkness.

"Oh, sweet Celestia... What have I done?" Rainbow Dash rocked herself back and forth, unable to shut her eyes. Her hooves twitched, and she tried to pull them closer. The shadows were growing longer – she could see that now. She whimpered, too terrified to even blink. A low sound filled her ears, like wind blowing across an endless sea of ice.

The candle flickered twice, and went out.

Three hours earlier.

"Are you ready, Tank?"

The tortoise nodded, and Rainbow Dash snugged his goggles a little tighter for him. She pulled the hood of her own black jumpsuit over her head, and the pair took flight.

It wasn't far from Rainbow Dash's home to Sugarcube Corner. Dash could have made the trip in under two minutes, but it took close to ten with Tank in tow. The building was a dark silhouette in the night. The Cakes, with their two infants, were visiting Mrs. Cake's sister in Vanhoover. And Pinkie, who had been tasked with watching the store in their absence, was spending the night at the Apple Farm where she and Applejack would be teaching the Cutie Mark Crusaders to cook. Dash smiled, imagining Scootaloo trying to make apple fritters.

When she and Tank arrived at the shop, Rainbow Dash flew up to the balcony on the top floor. She glanced inside the balcony door's heart-shaped window, but all she could see was darkness. Tank buzzed up beside her.

Rainbow Dash tried the door and found it unlocked. Great! She giggled quietly as she and Tank slipped inside. She felt a bit like Daring Do, sneaking around in the night hunting for secret treasure. Well, sort of. And if she was Daring Do, then Tank was just like the Tank from her own stories. Maybe not quite as awesome, she admitted to herself. Story Tank was hard to beat.

Inside, Rainbow Dash hopped down from the walkway ringing the top of the tower. She floated to the bedroom floor and made her way to the fireplace. It was too dark to see more than a few vague shapes, but she knew that Pinkie kept a pair of candles and a box of matches on the mantel. Fumbling around with her hooves, she finally managed to grab one of the candles and set it alight. Dash cackled quietly. This plan was going perfectly!

Lifting the candle, she made a quick survey of the room. Where would Pinkie keep her stories?

Rainbow Dash knew it was wrong to go sneaking around somepony's home without their permission, but Pinkie kept refusing to let Dash see what she wrote. It was totally unfair. Rainbow Dash had shared all of her stories with Pinkie. And from the way Pinkie talked, Dash had a sneaking suspicion that her friend knew a whole lot more about writing than she was letting on.

Only, now that Pinkie was gone, there was no sign of paper or ink anywhere. For that matter, Rainbow Dash didn't see a single book or bookcase in the room. On a hunch, Dash squatted down beside Pinkie's bed and raised the edge of the comforter with one hoof. Aha! There, tucked away under the mattress, was a flat iron-bound chest. With an awful scraping sound, Rainbow Dash pulled it out from beneath the bed and threw open the lid.

What she found almost made her drop the candle in surprise. The chest was filled with stacks and stacks of pages – thousands of them – and nestled on top...

A wide grin split Rainbow Dash's mouth. She set the candle on the floor nearby and reached into the chest. Reverently, she pulled it out – a large, leather-bound volume. It looked centuries old, but it couldn't be. "The Account of the Explorer, Waning Promise" by Pinkamena Diane Pie. This was Pinkie's own work. She had written a book!

Bringing the book and the candle to Pinkie's table, Rainbow Dash tried to get comfortable on one of the hard wooden stools. Tank buzzed along behind her, staying in the candle's sphere of dim light. After staring at the book's cover for a few more moments, reveling in the excitement of forbidden discovery, Dash opened the cover and began to read aloud for her tortoise.

"Whoever you are to have found this journal, I entreat you: read no further." Rainbow Dash blinked. This first page seemed to be hoof-written and hastily scrawled, not like a proper book at all. "It is evident that the mind which penned these words was twisted by some primordial madness. My team discovered this account soon after we reached the last known position of the ill-fated Southern Sun expedition. We have studied these pages for the past two weeks, seeking to better understand the terrible affliction wrought upon their creator, but now with the passing of each hour I find that I can perceive less of their infesting lunacy. Is it possible that the madness was in fact our own, that by failing to heed the author's warnings, I have brought this doom upon our expedition as well? All are dead now but me, and I do not know if I will last the night."

Rainbow Dash suppressed a shudder. This didn't sound anything like Pinkie Pie. This didn't look like her hoofwriting. She closed the book to examine the cover again, and the name was still there, plain as day. Pinkamena Diane Pie. Embossed on a book that looked twice as old as Ponyville itself. Tank had settled onto the table nearby, watching Rainbow Dash intently. Biting her lip, Dash re-opened the book and picked up where she had left off.

"No, it is too terrible to contemplate that the fate of our enterprise might have been directed by some fell and reasoning existence. I cannot endorse such a thought, and yet the shadows in this very room grow longer as I write, and I can half believe I hear that same sound, like wind raging across a vast plain of snow and ice, that so captivated the mind of this journal's first owner. Perhaps if I step outside for a moment, I can divest myself of this hellish notion once and for all."

And that was the end of the hoof-written preface. The account began anew on the next page, with a mare named Waning Promise discussing her preparations for a journey. Rainbow Dash had stopped reading aloud, but she found herself glued to the story in front of her. Waning was an advanced student at a prestigious Canterlot university. As a final research project, she had joined a team of explorers led by an old stallion named Southern Sun, who intended to investigate the frozen lands to the extreme south of Zebrica. A buzzing sound filled her ears for a few moments, but she didn't let it distract her from the story.

Rainbow Dash found herself checking the cover of the book again and again as she read. As she read of the expedition's arrival and the bitter cold of the southern continent. As she read of the terrible dreams that began to haunt Waning shortly afterward – the horrors she imagined, and they way they slowly stole her reason in that perpetual, frozen night.

As the flame of the candle burned low and began to gutter, she read of the wind that wasn't, the eerie sound that invaded Waning's dreams, like air howling over an unending frozen sea. As the candle flickered fitfully, she read of the death of old Southern Sun – all told through an increasing haze of madness, or so it seemed. She read of other deaths, and of the vast loneliness that besieged the mind of Waning Promise. And then there was no longer enough light to read by, but Rainbow Dash found that her eyes were still locked to the pages. Her limbs refused to move. All she had to do was find the box of matches and light the other candle, but it was as if a vast, eternal gulf separated her from the room.

"Oh, sweet Celestia... What have I done?" Rainbow Dash rocked herself back and forth, unable to shut her eyes. Her hooves twitched, and she tried to pull them closer. The shadows were growing longer – she could see that now. She whimpered, too terrified to even blink. A low sound filled her ears, like wind blowing across an endless sea of ice.

The candle flickered twice, and went out.

When the lights came back on and Pinkie burst into the room, Tank buzzing behind her, Rainbow Dash didn't know if the darkness had lasted for seconds or hours. She didn't know if she'd been screaming, though her throat felt raw and dry. She twitched fitfully, still rooted to her wooden stool. Her head slowly turned toward Pinkie, and Dash felt both joy and bone-deep dread wash through her. She tried to say something, but only a pleading mewl escaped.

"Oh, Dashie..." Pinkie gave a heavy sigh. "You really shouldn't have done that. Didn't I say you wouldn't like my stories?"

Rainbow Dash's lips moved, but no sound came out.

Pinkie came over and gently stroked her mane. Then, looking down at the book, the pink pony giggled excitedly. "Hey, you made it farther than Twilight! That's pretty good!"

"Pinkie... What was..." Dash finally managed to form words, though they came out in a hoarse whisper.

"Shhh. None of that now." Pinkie grabbed the book surreptitiously, stuffing it back in her trunk. "What you need right now is a nice fire and some hot chocolate. Doesn't that sound good, Dashie?"

Tank settled in front of Rainbow Dash and gave her a small frown as Pinkie lit the fireplace. He buzzed up and licked her cheek, then started trying to push her toward the cheerful flames. Slowly, stiffly, Dash managed to move her hooves again, and after a minute she was able to get off the stool and slink toward the fire. She lay down in front of it, tears welling up in her eyes.

Pinkie returned from downstairs presently, carrying two steaming mugs of chocolate. She set one of the mugs in front of Rainbow Dash. Then she set her own down, not far away, and did her best to give her frightened friend a hug.

"I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash. I guess I should have tried harder to warn you..."

With trembling hooves, Dash reached out and grabbed the mug in front of her. She brought it to her lips and tilted the mug forward, and the warm sweet drink seemed to restore a little of her vitality. "You... you wrote that, right? S-so it's not real?"

"Of course it's not real!" Pinkie gave a little shiver of her own. "Ooh, that'd be super-duper scary. It was bad enough writing the thing. I think I'd go crazy if that were real!"

"But the book cover... It looks so old..."

Pinkie giggled again. "Well, I asked Twilight to do an aging spell on it. She said she couldn't, but I kept pestering her until she tried, and it turned out that they're not quite so hard to cast on inanimate objects. I think it looks really cool that way!"

Rainbow Dash could only give a weak nod.

"Hey, Dashie?" Pinkie's voice was quiet and soothing, as if still afraid she might scare her friend. "What do you say we try to work on your story a little more? Maybe that'll help you feel better, if you try thinking about something that you enjoy?"

Tipping her mug a little, Rainbow Dash took another swallow of the hot chocolate. "I don't know, Pinkie. I don't think I could get my hooves to stay still enough to write anything right now."

"I could write for you," Pinkie offered cheerfully. "You just tell me what to put down and I'll take care of the rest!"

Rainbow Dash thought about it for a moment, and then the barest hint of a smile returned to her face. "Yeah. Okay. Let's try that."

———————————————————————————————————

The Amazingly Awesome Adventures of Tank the Tortoise

By R. Dash

Chapter 6 – The Evil Lair of Dr. Angelbunny!

As the last of the mummies hit the ground with a thump, Tank dusted himself off.

Winona stared at the devastation in wonder. "Sir, that was amazing! Where did you learn how to do that!?"

"Princess Celestia. It's how she ended the great mummy rebellion, four centuries back. That's one move I never actually thought I'd have to use. Now come on, Dr. Angelbunny's lab should be on the next floor up." He suited his words with action, whirring into the air and moving down the corridor.

Winona followed, rubbing her left shoulder. The mummies had been pretty hard on her, before Tank arrived to finish them off.

From lower in the tower, Tank could hear the sounds of more fighting. Commander Spike and the forces of the League must have begun their attack. But Tank and Winona had seen hundreds – maybe thousands – of Angelbunny's soldiers as they snuck through the citadel. By the time Spike and the League could fight their way through all of them, Dr. Angelbunny would be long gone. It was up to Tank and Winona to stop him now.

The corridor rounded a bend and ahead Tank could see stairs ascending to the top floor of the citadel. They were strangely unguarded. Tank paused, holding out his arm to stop Winona. This seemed wrong.

Winona knew what to do. She reached into her purse and pulled out a small capsule, pitching it down the corridor. Blinking lights shone around the object, and it should have popped open and scanned the hallway for traps once it came to rest, but about halfway up the corridor the lights blinked out. Some kind of electromagnetic interference. It would short out the motor on Tank's propeller, too, he was sure. But there didn't seem to be any other effects.

Settling himself on the ground, Tank switched off his device. If he didn't try to activate the propeller in the corridor, maybe the electronics would come out intact on the other side. Carefully, he and Winona stepped forward into the corridor.

They had gone about half the hallway's length before they heard a rumbling noise coming from the walls. They were shifting, opening up rows of holes near the ground, and something was coming out of those holes.

"Snakes," Tank cursed. "I hate snakes."

"Hurry, sir! We've got to get to those stairs quickly!" Winona dashed around him, urging him to move faster. But without the ability to fly, Tank was as slow as any other tortoise. He strained to move faster, but the snakes were already pouring into the room.

"Winona, you're going to have to push me."

"Sir?"

Tank settled onto the ground, pulling his arms and legs into his shell. His voice came out as an annoyed rumble. "You're going to have to push me. We'll never make it to the stairs in time, otherwise. Don't argue, just get behind me and push."

Thankfully, Winona didn't put up any further argument. She set her nose against the back of Tank's shell and shoved. It didn't take long to get up to speed, though they still couldn't move as fast as Winona could run on her own. A snake started to slither in front of Tank, so he snapped his jaws at it menacingly. It decided not to push its luck. "Hurry, Winona. We're almost there!"

The snakes were drawing very close by the time they reached the stairs, but Tank's plan had worked. He popped his limbs out of the shell and began climbing, Winona bounding up the steps beside him. The snakes, thankfully, seemed content to slither around in the corridor rather than trying to climb the stairs. Tank tried to fire up his propeller, but the contraption had stopped working. He reached onto the top of his shell and unhooked it, letting it fall back uselessly onto the stairs as he climbed. If he had to face Dr. Angelbunny without his propeller, this job was about to get a lot harder.

———————————————————————————————————

Pinkie looked up from re-reading the new pages. "Didn't Tank move pretty fast on the train, though?"

Rainbow Dash scratched her head with one hoof. "Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Hrmm. Here, gimme that one."

Staring at the page a little longer, Pinkie shook her head. "No, it's okay. You should be resting. You can come up with some way to explain it in the next chapter."

Tank, the real Tank, buzzed around the room with his propeller perfectly intact. Pinkie had tried reading the new chapter out loud to him, but for once it failed to catch his interest. Rainbow Dash couldn't understand it. Didn't he like hearing about the awesome Tank in the stories she was writing?

"Oh, yeah, and on page 2, are you sure you want to say 'purse'? It kinda made sense on the train, but is Winona really carrying a purse all through Dr. Angelbunny's fortress?" Pinkie pointed to one of the sheets with her quill.

Tank had settled in the heart-shaped window of the balcony door, staring out at the night sky. Rainbow Dash sighed, turning her attention back to Pinkie Pie. She had work to do.

Chapter 7 – Angelbunny Attacks!

A fierce gust of wind rattled the shutters on the windows of Twilight Sparkle's library. Thunder rumbled in the distance and Owlowiscious gave an alarmed hoot. The sounds of a propeller, a dull thump, and the crashes of falling books drifted up to where Rainbow Dash lay on the library's second floor, cradling her head in her hooves. Spike began shouting in his high-pitched voice, and Dash moaned in response. This headache was unbearable.

"Rainbow? Are you sure you're okay?"

She was undeniably, unquestionably un-okay. Of course, she wasn't about to admit that. "It's nothing. I'll be fine in a minute." Thunder boomed through the library. "Oh for pony's sake, why does it have to be so loud!?"

Rainbow Dash felt the tickle of magic around her ears, and suddenly it seemed she was hearing the world through a thick, wet blanket. Dash gasped in relief. She gave Twilight a grateful look. The unicorn's mouth moved in response, but to Dash her voice was a muted buzz. "I can't hear you Twilight," she said apologetically. Dash couldn't hear her own voice either, and suspected she was probably shouting.

Without warning, the cacophony returned: the thunder, the wind, shouts, crashes. "I asked if that—"

"Put it back! Put it back!" The noise winked out again, and the relief nearly made Rainbow Dash sob. It took her a moment to realize that not all sound had been muted this time. A translucent magenta bubble shimmered in the air around her and Twilight.

"I asked," Twilight said for the third time, "if that made it any better."

Maybe it wasn't the coolest way to respond, but Rainbow Dash leapt up to give her friend a heartfelt hug. "Yes! Ohh, this is the best I've felt since the weather ponies started this stupid storm."

Twilight shot Rainbow Dash a confused look. "But you're a pegasus, Rainbow. You knew they were planning a big storm, right?"

"Of course I knew that! ...I just didn't know I'd wake up feeling like Applejack was locked in my head and trying to kick her way out."

Suddenly, a propeller-wearing tortoise flew inside the bubble, followed by a hooting owl. The tortoise buzzed in a circle around Dash, with the owl pursuing and looking increasingly irritated. The tortoise flew in closer and gave Rainbow Dash's cheek an especially wet lick.

"TANK!" She grabbed the tortoise by the shell and forced him away. Why couldn't she just have some peace and quiet? Dash carried Tank to the edge of the bubble of silence and stuck her head out. The noise of the storm exploded in her ears, but she tried to ignore it. "Spike, could you please take Tank and Owlowiscious to play somewhere else? They're... really cramping my style."

Rainbow Dash released Tank, and he gave her a hurt look before descending back to the first floor, his head hanging low. Dash muttered under her breath and returned to Twilight's wonderful globe of quiet.

"Don't you think you're being a little hard on them, Rainbow?" Twilight gave the pegasus a small frown. "I know you have a headache, but it's not their fault."

"Tank knows I'm having a bad day," Dash grumbled. "He'll be fine." She paused for a moment, looking around the library. "Hey, Twilight, do you have any paper I could use? Maybe some time writing would make me feel better..."

———————————————————————————————————

The Amazingly Awesome Adventures of Tank the Tortoise

By R. Dash

Chapter 7 – Angelbunny Attacks!

The top of the stairs opened onto a wide landing and a pair of towering bronze doors.

Tank the tortoise pulled himself up the final step. He had nearly forgotten how difficult it was to get around without the help of his trusty propeller. Even in situations like the fight on the train, when he didn't have room to fly, the propeller still helped him speed up his motion considerably.

As he and Winona emerged onto the landing, a high-pitched voice squeaked out from the shadows. "Tank the tortoise! Thy journey endeth here!"

"Rochefort! Show yourself, you filthy traitor!" Tank tried to scan the room, but his neck moved so slowly. Finally, he caught sight of the white-clad ninja rabbit as he slipped from the darkness in the corner of the landing, brandishing a pair of wicked-looking knives. He threw, and one of them came spinning through the air, straight at Tank's head, so fast the tortoise didn't have time to react.

But Winona did. She leapt in front of Tank and grabbed the spinning dagger out of the air with her paw. "Tank, get to Angelbunny and stop him. I'll take care of this one." And without waiting for an answer, Winona bounded forward to meet Rochefort in deadly combat.

Struggling forward on legs that moved too slow, Tank watched as the two fought. It was a very even contest. Winona really was one of the League's best agents. The two were still fighting with neither showing a clear edge when Tank reached the bronze doors and pushed his way into the lab of Dr. Angelbunny.

The room was pitch dark as Tank entered, but once he was inside the door slammed shut behind him mechanically and a loud "fwoosh" filled the air as huge, industrial lights clicked on overhead. It took Tank only a moment to adjust to the light and take in his surroundings. Huge vats of green goo and work tables littered with half-completed robots lined the walls of the enormous lab. Everywhere Tank looked, it was as if an explosion of science had been detonated. The tortoise didn't know what even the tenth part of it might do, but he knew it was all bad news.

And there, just past the middle of the room, Dr. Angelbunny himself sat perched on the edge of a titanic mahogany desk, a small smile fixed on his face.

"Ahh, Tank the tortoise. How good of you to come and visit me! It's always a pleasure to talk with old friends. Before one has to kill them."

"You'll never get away with this, Angelbunny." Tank tried his best to stride heroically into the room, but it was hard to be heroic at a snail's pace.

The little white rabbit laughed. "Get away with what, Tank? I've hardly even been here a month. Do you really think I've been laying dastardly plans of world conquest? I've barely had time to unpack!"

Tank's eyes narrowed as he continued forward. "You think the League doesn't already know what you're up to? We managed to decrypt the data files we recovered after the last time we defeated you. We know all about the Lagomorphing Apparatus hidden in the White Tail Forest!"

"Oh do you?" Angelbunny shot Tank a toothy grin. "How very interesting. But you're too late, Tank. My minions recovered the device this very morning. In fact, it's right here!"

The rabbit patted a large metal contraption on the desk beside him, something that looked suspiciously like a futuristic rifle. "I've been looking for an opportunity to try it out..." He hefted it and pointed the barrel of the gun at Tank, and a red dot danced across the tortoise's face. "But," Angelbunny sighed, "trying it on you would probably be a mistake. I'm quite fond of seeing you like this, Tank – so slow and helpless. I wouldn't want to change that by rabbitifying you just yet." With a look of regret, the rabbit set the device back on the desk beside him.

Tank strained forward. He was nearly halfway to his target now, but moving so slowly. "Come on, you villain! Come and fight me!"

Angelbunny gave a cackling laugh. "And why would I do that, tortoise?" He leapt down from the desk and began to hop around the room. "All I have to do is move a little, and you'll never be able to catch me. We can just wait here comfortably while my minions finish you and your friends in the League. And then I'll have plenty of new subjects for my experiments with the lagomorpher!"

He was right. Tank couldn't hope to fight Angelbunny in this state unless Angelbunny wanted it. Then Tank just had to find a way to make Angelbunny want it.

"Because," the tortoise responded, "if all you do is run away, even if you win, you'll still know you were a coward. Your minions will know it. When Tank the tortoise came to stop you, you turned tail and ran. Not very inspiring leadership for a supervillain. And maybe Rochefort or one of the others would get it in his head that he could do better, that you're too weak to rule over your new rabbit empire. Unless you fight me, tortoise to hare, as nature intended."

Angelbunny scowled at Tank. "Why do you want to die so badly, tortoise? You can't think this will end well for you."

Tank gave the rabbit his most confident grin. "I have to try, don't I? Maybe I'll surprise you." But the truth was, not even Tank could see how he could win this fight. Angelbunny was faster, smarter, and had all the tools of his lab at his disposal. And Tank, Tank was just a tortoise.

The white rabbit stepped forward, ready to do battle.

———————————————————————————————————

Rainbow Dash rubbed a hoof against her forehead. How did you beat an opponent who was smarter than you, faster than you, and better equipped? Dash just didn't know.

She looked up from her pages and noticed that the glow of Twilight's silence spell was gone. The unicorn was watching her and seemed to understand Rainbow Dash's unspoken question. "Spike and the other two stopped playing a few minutes ago, so I pushed the bubble outside. Now it's just blocking the noise of the storm."

Rainbow Dash nodded at the explanation and turned back to her story. How was she going to write her way out of this? Pinkie had said awesomeness only went so far in writing. In the end, your story had to be believable. And in her heart, Rainbow Dash didn't believe Tank could beat Dr. Angelbunny.

"Ugh. Why'd I have to make Tank lose his propeller? Without it, he's just a slow, dumb tortoise. He's not cool, or radical, or awesome. He's just... dumb and boring."

"Rainbow!" Dash looked up to see Twilight staring at her in horror.

"What? It's true. This is really hard to write. He's completely worthless without that propeller."

From below, Dash heard the buzz of a propeller that wasn't broken and the thump of something hitting one of the library's windows. She looked around, realizing what she'd just said, but the faint sound of wind was already echoing inside Twilight's silence spell.

Chapter 8 – Tortoise vs. Hare!

"Tank! Where are you?"

Her shout was swallowed by the storm. How did she expect Tank to hear her in this? Dash's head still throbbed with pain, and now she felt wet and miserable too. Her face, especially, was wet – but that was just the rain, right? Of course it was. Rainbow Dash didn't cry.

"C'mon, Tank! I'm sorry!" Even if he couldn't hear her, she felt compelled to say the words. Rainbow Dash flew lower, weaving between the buildings of Ponyville, looking for her tortoise. It was hard to see – it was hard to think – with this storm raging around her.

Where would he go? Dash had checked her own house first, hoping that Tank might have just gone home to sulk. He hadn't, of course. Rainbow Dash scrubbed at her eyes with one hoof. Why did this stupid storm have to make her face so wet?

Normally, she'd have checked with Spike: Tank always liked playing with Spike and Owlowiscious. But that was pointless, of course: she had just come from there. She'd tried at Rarity's home – Tank and Opal got along surprisingly well – but she'd had no luck there, either. Gummy? No. Dash knew, somehow, that her story was at the heart of this. Gummy was Pinkie Pie's pet, and Pinkie Pie meant writing. Tank wouldn't have gone there. What about Ange—

Fluttershy.

Of course Tank would go back to Fluttershy if he was upset. Fluttershy had probably taken care of the tortoise for years before Rainbow Dash adopted him. Probably? You don't even know how long Fluttershy had him before you came along. You never cared enough to find out, did you? With a grunt, Dash tried to suppress the voice in her head. Becoming even more upset with herself wasn't going to get Tank back any sooner.

Fluttershy's cottage was well past the edge of town, near the perimeter of the Everfree Forest. The sky seemed to darken as Dash flew in that direction, as if whatever controlled the forest's weather thought it needed to show the town of Ponyville how a proper storm ought to be conducted. By the time she rapped her hoof against Fluttershy's door, Rainbow Dash was a sodden mess.

The door cracked open, revealing a pink mane and a blue-irised eye. "Oh, it's you Rainbow Dash." Fluttershy's voice didn't sound very inviting.

Dash gave a nervous chuckle. "Aah, heya Fluttershy. I was wondering if Tank was here, and if I could come in."

"Tank is here..." Fluttershy drew a deep breath and looked like she was trying to gather her courage. "But no, Rainbow, you can't come in."

"Aww, c'mon Fluttershy. I wanna see Tank."

"Well..." Fluttershy cast a quick glance over her shoulder and pulled the door wide enough for Dash to get a look inside. "Well, he doesn't want to see you. He's going to stay here tonight, okay? And... maybe tomorrow you can come see him."

Dash flew up a few centimeters to look over Fluttershy. She could see Tank, sitting in the back of the cabin next to Angel. The tortoise wasn't wearing his propeller or his goggles anymore, and it looked like Angel was trying to make him feel better. The little white rabbit turned for a moment and gave Rainbow Dash an angry look.

The blue pegasus dropped back to the ground, her own dejection painting her face. "Please, Fluttershy? I just want to tell him I'm... I'm sorry. I mean, I wasn't talking about him anyway, but... Oh, ponyfeathers!"

"No. Whatever you said, he's very upset right now. Maybe he'll let you see him tomorrow." There was a finality in Fluttershy's pronouncement, but she leaned forward and her face softened a little. "If I were you, I'd spend some time thinking about how to apologize. I've never seen him this upset, Rainbow. I don't know what to do... But I know he really, really, really doesn't want to see you right now."

Rainbow Dash sighed, scrubbing a hoof across her face again. When was that stupid storm going to stop? "Okay... Okay, I'll see what I can do. And thanks, for taking care of Tank." She scratched the ground with one hoof. "...I'm sorry, Fluttershy."

"It's oka—" Fluttershy cut herself off, shaking her head. "No. It's not okay, Rainbow. But... just try to figure this out, please? I don't like seeing either of my friends upset."

Dash nodded silently and turned her back on the cottage. How was she supposed to fix this?

The flight home was a lonely one, though the storm was finally abating. Rainbow Dash tried to think about ways to make up with Tank, but her mind kept drifting back to her story. She knew that was at the heart of her problem. When had Story Tank gotten so important? And when did she decide that Story Tank had to be cooler than Regular Tank? Wasn't the story supposed to be about showing how awesome Tank, her loyal little tortoise, already was?

She scrubbed a hoof across her eyes again, and she noticed that the rain had stopped. The clouds were only light gray now. Okay, fine. Yes, Rainbow Dash, you've been crying. Now stop acting like a sad little filly and figure out how to clean up the mess you made.

And then it came to her. These problems had started because of that stupid story. Maybe she could end them the same way.

———————————————————————————————————

The Amazingly Awesome Adventures of Tank the Tortoise

By R. Dash

Chapter 8 - Tortoise vs. Hare!

A heavy two-legged kick slammed against Tank's shell, nearly rolling him onto his back. The tortoise pulled his legs facing Angelbunny back into his shell for a moment to correct his balance.

"Come now, is this really the best you can do, Tank?" The rabbit's voice was filled with derision. "And to think, you're supposed to be the best the League has to offer."

Tank didn't respond. This fight was not going well, and it took all his concentration and all his training just to defend himself from Angelbunny's attacks. The rabbit was just so fast! For all his training, Tank was just too slow to keep up. He'd hoped, early on, that Angelbunny might wear himself out attacking, but the rabbit seemed to have boundless energy.

Another kick rocked Tank sideways. He tried to retaliate with a kick of his own, but the rabbit was already gone. Angelbunny was hopping off Tank's shell as much as he was kicking, keeping him far beyond the tortoise's reach.

Hopping. Hopping. Tank scanned the room quickly. The fight had already led the two opponents all around the lab, and now he found himself near one of the vats of green goo that Tank had seen when he first entered. An idea began to form in Tank's mind. He pulled back from Angelbunny, retreating toward the glass vat.

The rabbit laughed. "Ah, so the great Tank the Tortoise is on the retreat. What would the Keepers of the Elements of Harmony say if they could see you now?" When Tank didn't reply, Angelbunny gave another laugh and advanced. "Still speechless, tortoise? Fine. I tire of this... distraction. It's time to end this."

Angelbunny launched a mighty kick, hitting Tank with a hammer of force. For once, Tank took the blow squarely on the shell. It rolled him over onto his back and sent him crashing against the wall of the vat hard enough to break it. Viscous, slimy goo washed over him as he tried to adjust his weight inside the shell. Tank's momentum shifted, and he rolled over again to land on his feet, standing in the remains of the now-empty vat. He strained his limbs, trying to hurry back to the fight and away from the puddle of green fluid on the floor of the lab. Moving through the goo was difficult, but Tank's weight and his thick feet helped him find traction.

"Surrender already, tortoise. You know you can't win this fight. When has one of your kind ever defeated one of mine?"

"I feel sorry for you, Angelbunny." Tank hadn't spoken since the beginning of the fight, but even as the words left him, he realized that they were true. "You've never understood, have you? It's not about winning. It's about fighting for what's right, fighting for a better tomorrow. You may be fast, and smart, and talented. But you don't know the first thing about guts. About persevering when everything is darkest. Surrender? I've already won."

The rabbit gave him an irritated glare. "Delusional to the end, tortoise." Angelbunny leapt forward, straight at Tank's head, and a metal spike glinted in his paw.

Tank had been waiting for this. He lurched forward with all his might, tucking his head and his front legs into his shell and standing tall with his back legs.

Angelbunny turned his attack into a kick, but as the rabbit's feet struck Tank's goo-coated shell, they slipped askew and Angelbunny himself slammed forward. Tank's shell acted as a ramp, launching the rabbit back a meter into the wreckage of the vat and the puddle of goo surrounding it.

As Tank turned laboriously, he heard the rabbit cursing, struggling to rise. But Angelbunny was too light to get traction in the slippery green slime. He tried to rise and fell back, only succeeding at further coating himself in goo.

With a thunderous crash, the doors to the lab slammed open and Spike and Winona rushed in. Both looked injured: Winona was limping heavily and scorch marks marred many of the scales on Spike's left side. Tank gave a deep sigh of relief. "Quick, I've stopped him for a few minutes, but we need to restrain Angelbunny before he can get away again."

Winona nodded wordlessly, pulling a length of rope from her battered purse and fashioning it into a lasso. She threw it around the struggling rabbit with an uncanny precision, pulling it tight and binding his limbs in place. Spike took the other end of the rope and tied it to his forearm to make sure Angelbunny wouldn't escape.

Behind Spike and Winona, Owlowiscious, Opal, and Gummy all burst into the room. They rushed forward, exclaiming over the scene of destruction in the lab.

Opal tried to throw her paws around Tank in a hug, but the goo had as much effect on her as the rabbit, and her limbs slid right off. "Oh, Tank! We were so worried!"

"Yeah, Tank! I know you're awesome and all, but Dr. Angelbunny? How'd you beat him!?" Gummy's eyes rolled wildly as he spoke.

Tank turned away from Commander Spike, Winona, and Owlowiscious. They could handle the rest here. He gave Gummy a grin and rubbed his head with one heavy, goo-laden foot. "The same way as always, Gummy: with persistence, spirit, and guts." He paused a moment, looking back at the other members of the league, wrestling Angelbunny into restraints. "And with a little help from my friends."

———————————————————————————————————

Rainbow Dash knocked on the door of Fluttershy's cottage.

After a moment, the yellow pegasus peeked out. "Rainbow, I'm still not sure if he's willing to—"

"Too bad." Rainbow shoved the door open, eliciting a squeak from Fluttershy and a number of angry chitters from the animals in her home. She spotted Tank, sans propeller and sitting by one of the windows, looking outside dejectedly. "Tank! I wanna talk to you!"

The tortoise turned, shooting an annoyed look at Fluttershy. He gave Rainbow Dash a deep frown and began to walk away.

"Wait..." Dash's voice was quieter than she might have wanted, but... she had things to say, and they weren't easy. "Please, Tank. I said I wanna talk to you."

Tank slowed, turning back to Rainbow Dash, but the frown never left his face.

Dash sat down in front of the tortoise, pulling a thick stack of pages out from under her wing and setting it on the ground. "Tank... I'm sorry. You know what I said last night, I wasn't talking about you..."

If anything, the frown on Tank's face deepened. He shook his head at her.

"Well, I wasn't! I mean... I just... I let the Tank in the story become more important than the real Tank. I only wanted to write the story because I think you're awesome, and cool, and..." Her voice trailed off weakly, and she ground her hoof against the wooden floorboards of Fluttershy's cottage. "And I guess at some point, me trying to show how awesome you were turned into me trying to make you more awesome. Or... no, not that. Awesome in different ways. Because you're already as awesome as a pet can be, to me.

"But then I got so caught up in the story, and in making Story Tank more awesome, that I started to get frustrated that I couldn't make him awesome enough. And..." She gave a heavy sigh. "And that I couldn't make you awesome enough either."

Rainbow Dash was still staring at her hoof and the floorboards, but something in Tank's expression must have changed. Fluttershy was speaking in her ear now, very quietly. "Umm, Rainbow, I don't think you're helping."

Rainbow looked up at Tank, but her eyes were starting to get watery and she couldn't see him well. "I know I screwed up, okay! Just... just let me read you the end of the story. The ending I wrote for you." She sniffled, looking down at the pages beside her.

Fluttershy's voice cut through the stillness of the cottage. "I didn't know you wrote sto—" Some of the other animals started chittering, cutting her off. "Oh. Oh, yes. Okay, Rainbow Dash, he'll listen. But we all want to listen with him, too."

Dash looked up, and saw the animals of the cottage gathering around. Angel had appeared from somewhere, and he was standing beside Tank now. Rainbow Dash scrubbed a hoof across her eyes, feeling a spike of irritation with herself, and nodded. And she read the story: the whole story, starting right at the beginning, with Tank and Angel and Fluttershy, and a gaggle of squirrels and songbirds all assembled to listen.

It took a little while, and the reading wasn't without its interruptions. Fluttershy was horrified when she found out Rainbow Dash had cast her precious bunny in the role of the story's arch-villain, and she spent a couple minutes vacillating between yelling at Dash and quietly sulking. Angel himself seemed quite pleased with the choice. By the end of the reading, he and Tank were play-fighting along with the story, to the excited tweets and chitters of Fluttershy's woodland friends.

After she finished, Rainbow Dash laid the pages aside and turned to Tank. "So that's it. I'm done. No more writing about you. My tortoise is awesome just the way he is. He doesn't need propellers, or special fighting lessons, or stories, or anything to make him cooler. And I wouldn't want to change him, not even one little bit, because my tortoise is the one that saved me from Ghastly Gorge, and that sat up helping me write and listening to my stories, and he even went to get Pinkie when he knew I'd done something dumb by trying to read her story without asking."

"Pinkie writes stories too?" Fluttershy's voice was full of wonder.

"Shh. You don't want to read them." Rainbow Dash turned back to Tank. "So whadda ya say? Will you forgive me? Please? ...I really miss you, Tank."

The tortoise gave her that serious frown again, but he could only hold it for a few seconds. After a moment, his mouth broke into a smile and he bobbed his head up and down.

"Yes!" Dash shot a look at the cottage's other occupants. "I mean... Awesome. Thank you, Tank."

Fluttershy was starting to tear up now. After a moment of not-very-cool sniffling, she gave up and threw her hooves around Rainbow Dash's neck. She burbled something into Dash's mane, but Dash couldn't really understand her. Not sure what to do, she gave the yellow pegasus's head a couple gentle pats.

After a moment, Fluttershy pulled her head away. "B-but... You're not going to write any more? But I liked that story so much!"

Rainbow Dash blinked. She what? "Umm... Well, I said I wouldn't write about Tank any more. I guess that doesn't mean I have to stop writing all together. In fact..." An idea came to her, like a firework exploding in her head. "...I've got a pretty sweet idea for a new novel, about a pegasus who's a really great flyer and who wants to join the Wonderbolts..."

Postscript – One Year Later

Dear "A.K. Yearling",

Thank you so much for the advance copy of your new book! It arrived in the mail today, and oh my gosh, was I excited to see it! I've been reading it to Tank all day—he's my tortoise, and he really likes your books too. I guess there weren't too many surprises in this one, but that doesn't mean it was any less radical seeing everything written out there on the page. Tank is totally enjoying it. I didn't tell him anything about what happened, 'cause I didn't want to ruin the surprises.

Oh, by the way. That cover art? Soo cool!

Anyway, my friend Twilight said I should write you a thank you letter. She's the purple pony with the wings and the horn, and she's usually right about this kind of thing. She also told me I should send you some of my own writing. I don't really know if that's a good idea, but she was pretty insistent.

On the other hoof, Pinkie always says you can't get better unless you show other ponies your work. She's the pink one, and she's pretty awesome at writing too. ~~Seriously, you should see her story for yourself!~~ Um... nevermind.

My stories aren't anywhere near as amazing as yours are. But they're fun to write, and you're kind of my writing hero. I didn't even like books until I read Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone. So I guess what I mean is, I'd really appreciate it if you could look at my stuff and give me some pointers.

I'm sending along my first story about my tortoise, Tank. It's a little rough, but I still think it's pretty awesome. Also, I'm including a couple pages from the project I'm working on now:

Your friend,
Rainbow Dash

——————————————————————

"Captain! Come quick—there's a problem on the obstacle course!"

I blinked the sleep out of my eyes, struggling to sit up. It took me a moment to get my bearings. My neck was sore, like I'd been sleeping on a pile of...

I looked down. Paperwork. Ream after ream of paperwork. Cloudmaker requisitions, airshow schedules, leave-of-absence requests. Groggy, I plucked at a few sheets with one hoof. Was that a marriage certificate for Fleetfoot and Rapid Fire? Why did I have to sign off on that?

How could it be so boring, being captain of the Wonderbolts?

"Captain! It really can't wait!"

I squinted at the pony in front of me. "Sergeant Whiplash?"

The black-maned pegasus slammed his hooves on my desk. "We can't stop them, Captain! You know you're the only one who has a chance against them!"

My heart skipped a beat. "Them?"

"The Sky Pirates."

Ba-bump.

"Where are they," I asked, my face stern.

"The obstacle course," Whiplash muttered. "Which you would have known twelve lines ago, if you hadn't been so busy sleeping on the job. Captain."

Ba-bump.

I buzzed out of my chair and into the air, zooming out the door past Whiplash. A second later, the old sergeant flew beside me as we headed out of the Wonderbolt offices and back toward the training grounds.

"Soarin and lieutenant Blaze already tried fighting them off, Captain, but... well... The lieutenant just vanished, and Soarin came out so beat up that it's a wonder he can still fly.

Ba-bump.

Ahead, a dense fog obscured the skyland at the heart of the obstacle course. I knew that fog well. I'd known it since I was a filly, since She first earned her cutie mark.

"Break off, Sergeant. I'll handle this from here."

Ba-bump.

Whiplash peeled off the the right, flying to where a crowd of blue-uniformed pegasi had formed. I pulled down my goggles and sped forward into the fog. For all my courage, I couldn't keep my hooves from trembling.

Finally, at the center of the skyland, the fog thinned to nothing and I was able to see the pair of them. They were tall, lean, and muscular, wearing dark brown coats that covered their flanks.

Ba-bump.

Instinctively, my eyes locked on to the smaller of the pair. I landed, and tried not to betray how unsteady my hooves felt. The smaller pony stared back, but after a few moments she turned her head as if ashamed. It was the taller of the two that stepped toward me, her eyes hard.

"Y'know it don't got to be this way. You may have turned your back on us, but we ain't giving up on you. We don't care about none of this Wonderbolt nonsense. If you ain't willing to come back to Ponyville, we're just gonna have to come up here. An' if we've got to make your life miserable before you admit you miss us, well gosh darn it, that's what we're gonna do. We're the Sweetapple Sky Pirates now, and there ain't nothin' you can do to stop us, Scootaloo."

Author's Note

"Daring Don't" was a little too wonderfully on-point for me to stay quiet. So just a few pony words from me tonight. I hope you enjoy!