A Better Tomorrow

Everyday, my life changes and I walk these crowded streets. I never know where my next home will be, and I don’t know if I will ever have more than a temporarily house. Every night, I reside down in allies or behind an abandoned house. My temporarily house is changing frequently. The place either goes through construction or I don’t know where the place is. Sometimes, I reside at the CMC treehouse. But, I don’t do that often, because most nights I think about them and cry myself to sleep. I think about the pain I have went through the past 5 years, the pain that they don’t understand. I wish they knew about my pain I feel everyday. If I told my friends about what I have to go through everyday, they might look at me different. They might be upset or cry, which would result in me doing the same. Our relationships are so strong though, so, telling them sooner would be easier.
They don’t know I have to fend for myself. All my friends and everypony I know think that I have a family. Everypony think it is so absurd for a filly like myself to be fending for myself. They would also think it would be absurd for a filly like me to not have a family. My friends think this, Ms. Cherilee thinks this, and even Rainbow Dash thinks this.
I know nothing about my family. One day, I just woke up. My name is the only thing I come to remember. Who am I? That is a great question that I don’t have the answer to. Hopefully in the future I can know who I am. But the first thing I want to know is about my family. Dreams have helped me learn nothing about my family, they have only showed me glimpses and fragments of moments. Every night fragments of my past show up. But, the fragments don’t piece together. I wish they could. I wish I could at least 1 memory. All I am asking is for 10 seconds.
But, everyday I have to find the strength to go on. No matter what happens. Everyday I am feeling a bit weaker, and sick. I am not that sneezing, coughing, and throwing up sick. I feel sick on the inside. Everyday it is getting worse. I don’t feel like dying, but, I do stick closer to the ponies I love everyday. What if I am dying. I am not a doctor, but maybe I can figure out something when my friends and I try to get our Cutie Marks in the medical field.
I just wish Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Ms. Cherilee, and Rainbow Dash could understand what I am going through. But I know that none are abandoned like me. Applebloom has a family and Sweetie Belle too (Ms Cherilee is an adult, she might have been abandoned, but, I doubt it). I have always wondered about Rainbow Dash. I mean, I sometimes look into her eyes and see pain. I don't know if it was pain of abandonment, neglect, or bullying. I think I might tell her first about my pain.
Maybe one day she can look at me and say, “Scootaloo, I was abandoned too. Hey, I know we are so close, so, you can come live with me.” If that was possible, I would be so happy, I would cry of joy and never let her go.
I have never had any real joy, besides with Rainbow Dash. I am not saying that I am not happy with my friends. I am happy with my friends, just not as happy as I am with Rainbow Dash. I am a huge fan of her. She loves me as much as I love her. We talk every weekend and I hang out with her when she isn't doing tasks like renew Discord or stop a dragon.
I try to stay optimistic everyday. I try to think that tomorrow will be a better day. I try to stay happy. But, Those thoughts are fading away. The pain is so strong it puts me into a depression.
Yesterday, I was ready to tell her. I was ready to tell her that I was abandoned, have no family, and see if she had the same thing happen to her. But today, I don’t think it will be possible. The reason why is something bigger just got added onto my life. Something that makes me unable to tell Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Ms Cherilee. Today was a day my life changed forever. Today was a day that made me think that tommorow would not be a better day, or the days after that.